Stop Spiraling and Start Living with Erik Ireland

Añadido: 2026-05-19

[00:00:00]I have three uh kind of mantras that that bring me back to the present. Begin again.

[00:00:07]>> We're all in this together.

[00:00:09]>> Just this. Just this right now. We're not anywhere else.

[00:00:17]>> God, Eric, this is so good. IS ANYONE LISTENING TO THIS? I HOPE I HOPE SOMEONE'S LISTENING TO THIS.

[00:00:26]>> It's okay. We're all going to die. It's okay. We're all going to die. It's okay.

[00:00:32]We're all going to die.

[00:00:34]>> Welcome everybody to It's Okay, we're all going to die. I'm hospice nurse Julie and this is where we get honest about life so we can actually live it.

[00:00:42]So Eric, I'm going to read this because I want people to know how amazing you are. And um well, one I already know how amazing he is. Just like look at this guy. I mean his blue eyes, his white hair. Anyway, but you have to know his accolades. Okay.

[00:00:58]Um, okay. So, today we're talking about something really small, you know, pretty normal, but maybe completely maybe completely life-changing. Okay. And it's about, you know, awakening your myth, mindfulness. Those words are passed around a lot, especially mindfulness.

[00:01:12]But, uh, we have the best teacher here.

[00:01:14]Um, so today we have someone who is my friend and guest, Eric Ireland. He is the author of Awaken Your Myth and a mindfulness teacher who somehow manages to make being present both practical and not annoying, which is, you know, harder than it sounds.

[00:01:32]This guy, thank you, Eric, for laughing.

[00:01:35]Um, this guy has over a million followers across social media platforms.

[00:01:39]He has a successful podcast uh that helps you sleep. Seriously, check it out. I have definitely had his voice in my ear many of nights when I couldn't sleep. and he's everyone's favorite grandpa.

[00:01:50]Welcome, Eric Ireland, to the podcast.

[00:01:54]>> Thank you, Julie. It's so awesome to be here.

[00:01:56]>> I know. Oh my gosh, you guys. So, anyone listening, Eric and I know each other via social media. That's how we met. I tried to look back to see like when we first started corresponding, and it wasn't, it's not totally clear, but it was definitely a couple years ago, but I don't know like who reached out to who or what happened.

[00:02:14]>> Longer than that. Yeah. Um, >> do you remember?

[00:02:18]>> I don't. I just remember I just remember that like when we first got in touch.

[00:02:23]We're just like we need like let's talk.

[00:02:25]>> Yeah.

[00:02:25]>> And there are a lot of people I know through social media that I don't like actually have their phone number, you know, like we'll send, you know, direct messages back and forth, but we were like, we let's talk. And then I remember we had a FaceTime and that FaceTime was actually what started this book.

[00:02:44]>> Yeah. what started this book, which has been out for maybe a week, 10 days.

[00:02:49]>> Three, it'll be three weeks.

[00:02:51]>> Three weeks. Awaken your myth. So, yeah, Eric makes these wonderful videos. If you guys aren't sure, he has a lot of things, but he has these amazing videos on social media where he, you know, takes his dogs and walks on these walks on these beautiful nature walks and just talks about life and makes you feel all warm and fuzzy and it's just so beautiful. And I remember thinking like, "This guy gets it. This guy gets it. I need to talk to him. So, can you just explain to me in kind of a you know, not on a I'm sure talking about your whole life is would take far more than this podcast, but generally speaking, like how did you get here? How did you start this mindfulness journey? And to me, many people throw that word around and say they they do that and and no judgment, but it's like I feel like you can feel it and see it in you that this is like really a part of your life. So, how did you get there?

[00:03:44]>> Uh, a lot of anxiety.

[00:03:47]>> Yes. YES. SO, THERE'S HOPE for me. Okay.

[00:03:51]Beautiful.

[00:03:52]>> The the doorway to mindfulness for me was my own extreme anxiety. And I spent probably 20 years working on that dream of living in a cabin in the woods. And it was kind of everything to me because I had it in my mind that when I get there, I'm going to be happy. It's done.

[00:04:16]Game over. You know, ding, ding, ding. I won.

[00:04:20]>> And I got there and I was the most anxious I'd ever been >> because now I was out in the woods. I didn't have any of my other coping mechanisms. I didn't have any of the things I used to kind of like push away the anxiety anymore. It was just me in nature.

[00:04:36]>> And was it really just you in nature?

[00:04:37]There was no there was no Joe. That's his husband. There was no >> I mean I do have friends up there. Yeah.

[00:04:42]I'm not like completely alone. Although there are times when I'm home alone for weeks. Uh and I don't even leave the gate. So >> yeah, >> in the very beginning that was really kind of triggering for me and I'm like okay I thought I wanted this but it was driving me kind of into my own head and I started having panic attacks really in I don't know about 5 years ago and um I had started my Listen to Sleep podcast because I saw that I had been a voice actor and I saw that that was kind of going away and I'm like well I want to start working for myself. what do I want to do? And I was like, let's do something to help other people and kind of use what I do. I people liked my bedtime stories, so I turned it into a podcast. And that started to help a little bit to ease my anxiety because I'm like, okay, I'm working for myself now. This is nice. But it wasn't getting at the root of it. So for the podcast, I decided I wanted to add meditations. And then I became a mindfulness teacher so that I could do my own meditations and not just be reading scripts.

[00:05:52]>> I wanted to really like get mindfulness cuz I thought it would just be a good thing for my work.

[00:06:01]>> And what I realized was mindfulness was the thing that brought that whole journey together. The journey to the cabin, the anxiety, everything that wasn't right. It showed me how my internal journey and my external journey through the world were connected. And mindfulness was kind of the key to that.

[00:06:21]And so the way I teach it is really about that. That's what awakening your myth is all about. It's connecting your internal journey and your external journey. So that it's not some kind of journey to changing or getting better or personal growth so much as personal understanding like who am I and how does all this come together to show me who I am?

[00:06:47]>> Yeah. H personal understanding just the awareness right just the awareness of >> it starts with awareness.

[00:06:54]>> It starts there.

[00:06:55]>> It starts with awareness. Yeah. where it's a I mean mindfulness is the non-judgmental awareness of the present moment in service the way and then John Kabitz in and I also like to add this too in service of self-nowledge so like just being non-judgmentally aware in the present moment seems like well what about the rest of my life >> exactly >> right >> exactly >> but what happens is we start to carry those moments forward with us like we were talking a little bit before the show about traffic >> and how all of a sudden you can be mindful in traffic. You be like, "Oh, I'm here now. I'm not where I need to be. I don't need to think about where I'm going. I can be here in this car with these people and that maybe dangerous driver and that kind driver and I can just be right here." And that's where mindfulness starts to become just a part of every day or like coming here with you. I can be here and talk to you. I don't have to think about what happened on the way here or what's going to happen later today. And that becomes a habit because so much of our lives are just habits and tendencies and beliefs. Mindfulness opens up the space to question those habits and tendencies and beliefs >> which is really I'm going to get more into your book which I feel like it's a practical way to get to what you're talking about right because I know my brain like when someone starts talking about this I want to go okay yeah yeah but but how tell me how >> what about this you know totally and I think about um people who are listening or even just myself right like we think about the word mindfulness or becoming aware or taking the time to be present.

[00:08:45]You can say it a bunch of different ways, right? You have a great video about letting go. Um that's one of the videos I watched. I think it was kind of an old school video, but it's really beautiful and it's about like letting go and all of life is letting go and eventually we let go of life because we die, right? Which is why I'm here talking about death and dying and >> and I think about all the people going, "Yeah, yeah, yeah." You know, there's some of us who, like myself, I think I'm privileged enough to actually have time in the morning to be mindful or or or read or write about my, you know, myths and what it does and why I'm operating in the world, right?

[00:09:22]>> I have more time to be able to do that.

[00:09:24]And I'm sure there's busy moms or dads out there going, "How am I supposed to do this?" Or someone who's grieving and they're like barely getting out of bed.

[00:09:33]or someone who is caring for their loved one on hospice. How you know? So, >> how I think you you're great at teaching us how to do that even in those moments.

[00:09:44]So, what would you say to someone listening who's like, "Yeah, that sounds great, but how does this how can I do this?"

[00:09:48]>> Yeah, absolutely. Um, this was a big reason I wrote the book was because I there's so much kind of they call it make mindfulness out there, right? It's just kind of like, you know, or or or they go the other way where everything's very complicated and then you have to do this meditation practice and it involves this and that. You got to sit there for two hours and it's going to drive you crazy and your thoughts are going to be nuts, but it's okay.

[00:10:12]>> And don't move. Don't move.

[00:10:14]>> Nobody wants that.

[00:10:16]>> Nobody wants that. Right. So, there's a a subset of people who will do that. And for me, that stuff didn't work. I I couldn't sit there to to get through it.

[00:10:25]And so what worked for me was literally when I started my mindfulness teacher training course and I needed to actually get 40 hours of meditation done like as my practicum during the thing I started with twominut meditations two minutes and it makes a difference.

[00:10:44]>> It does >> and that carries it forward a little. So everybody can do two minutes. So you start doing two minutes every day. Now what are you doing? You're creating a new habit, a new tendency, a new space in your life, right? And what are you doing in those two minutes? There's three key things the way I see mindfulness that that open it up in any situation. And that's curiosity. So, you're taking this mind that is normally like a hamster on a wheel going it's it's lost in the past or the future. And you're bringing it into the present moment with curiosity, which it's naturally wants to do.

[00:11:25]>> Yeah. With curiosity, people, not criticism.

[00:11:28]>> Right.

[00:11:28]>> I'm saying this to myself, but go ahead.

[00:11:30]>> Yeah. Curiosity. What's here?

[00:11:32]>> Who am I right now? What is this? And then we come to the heart. The natural thing that the heart wants to do is compassion for ourselves and others. So we we approach the situation with compassion. What reminds me of compassion is just a simple phrase, we are all in this together. That connects me to this felt sense of what it means to be compassionate with myself and everyone else. We're all in this together. We all suffer. We all wish we were more mindful. We all get lost in the past and the future. Be gentle with yourself. And that's really the third element of mindfulness for me. So you've got curiosity, compassion, and gentleness. This isn't like a white knuckling it to presence because presence is going to make me more powerful and it's going to make me this and I'm going to manifest that and I'm going to have this and then I'll be all better.

[00:12:30]>> No, it's a it's a gentleness. It's a it's a sinking into it. It's a being with what's here. Yeah.

[00:12:38]>> And that means if it's grief, being with the sadness, >> being with the feelings that are there, not going, "How do I get through this?"

[00:12:48]Or, >> "How do I get out of this?

[00:12:50]>> I'm I'm waiting for time to heal this wound." You know, it won't if you're staring at the clock. It will if you go toward the feelings and not use the mind to kind of like push and pull on it. But what happens if you just feel it?

[00:13:09]>> It can feel overwhelming.

[00:13:11]>> And you know, there there's certainly a place for getting professional help when you need it.

[00:13:16]>> But so often we're just like, I don't want to feel bad. I want to feel good. I feel bad. This is a problem.

[00:13:25]>> Amen.

[00:13:26]>> But is it?

[00:13:27]>> But is it? I know.

[00:13:28]>> Is it Can can you can you be with feeling bad? What happens then? I know that has been a uh and and you know I can sit here right now and go yes I get that I get it and I've been through that so uh not so many times but enough to know that what you're saying is the truth like a life truth I think >> um but then and also when I'm in it though sometimes it's right it's like >> easy for you to say you know >> absolutely uh there's so much truth there I heard a therapist once. I wish I could remember.

[00:14:03]I know her first name is Megan. Megan Jarvis. Thank you. I can't think of the middle name. The She has like two last names. Uh where she was talking about rumination or people who were grieving, you know, they'll ruminate on I should have done this. I should have done that.

[00:14:16]Did Did they hear me? Didn't they hear me? What was this little What was this little like tweak they made when they were dying? And to her she said that's so normal because that helps you like rumination helps you not feel like if if you stop doing that then what's left >> right >> how bad you like how how sad you are >> right >> how the person is gone >> right >> and it's like yeah I mean a lot of it's self-preservation or we think it is you know >> well it's you know it's kind of like it's that we want to not feel as helpless as we are.

[00:14:55]>> Mhm.

[00:14:55]>> We want to feel more in control of our lives because then we don't have to think about the fact that we're going to give them up. It's okay. We're all going to die.

[00:15:06]>> It's okay. We're all going to die.

[00:15:08]Exactly. Great lead.

[00:15:10]>> Ultimately, it it comes back to that.

[00:15:13]that mindfulness and living a life in the present means you're also going to be able to be there in the present when you die.

[00:15:25]>> That then that doesn't become something that's scary anymore. It's like, okay, that's going to be a part of this. I know there are things I can do to surf life. It's much more like surfing than building or pushing or pulling.

[00:15:45]But like you have about the same amount of control you have on a surfboard.

[00:15:49]>> Sometimes that wave is going to knock you off. You don't know when.

[00:15:52]>> And if you can kind of learn to surf life mindfully, then okay, does it does it need to be the way I expect?

[00:16:03]>> Can I can I just be on the wave I'm on?

[00:16:07]which is kind of, you know, to kind of bring it back. This all started by talking about that first two minutes in the morning, right? All it takes is let's start there because I know my mind >> I'm I'm an all or nothing like I need a strict morning routine, 20 minutes meditation, read this book, read and it's like next thing you know I'm trying to do an hour thing and and I have the time, you know, sometimes, right? So, it's like >> do we have two minutes in the morning to wake up two minutes earlier to do something kind for ourselves? Right?

[00:16:36]That's what I always think of it. It's like that's something kind for yourself to do. It's not something >> it's not a punishment. It's not it's something to love yourself.

[00:16:45]>> Yeah.

[00:16:45]>> Right. And it's just two minutes. And once you start there, I feel like and you tell me, but I feel like it kind of opens the door for that new habit. And sure enough, it does start feeling >> uh and not that it needs to feel good, right? But there there is something that feels good when you connect to who you are.

[00:17:02]>> Yeah.

[00:17:03]>> Yeah. And I think quietness and stillness can can do that.

[00:17:07]>> And then, you know, like once you kind of get a sense of what it feels like to reset with that curiosity, compassion, and gentleness, you can do a a one minute walking meditation on the way to the restroom in the middle of your day.

[00:17:23]Or, you know, you can take a minute and take three good breaths and focus on what is this? You know, we're all in this together. I have three uh kind of mantras that that bring me back to the present. Begin again.

[00:17:41]>> We're all in this together.

[00:17:43]>> Just this. Just this right now. We're not anywhere else.

[00:17:50]>> God, Eric, this is so good. IS ANYONE LISTENING TO THIS? I HOPE I HOPE SOMEONE'S LISTENING TO THIS.

[00:18:00]OKAY. OKAY. UM, it's just so good. And like I think about sobriety, you know, we have all these like little acronyms we use and and one of them is halt, >> right? Halt.

[00:18:12]>> Are you hungry? Are you angry? Are you lonely? Are you tired? Okay.

[00:18:16]>> And a lot of those are like things, you know, you're kind of like, why am I so agitated? What's going on? And it's like, are you hungry? Are you And sometimes it's like, oh yeah, I actually am hungry. I need to eat, right? like you know are you angry, are you lonely, are you tired and and then you so and the halt is pause. So if you are those things, pause, you know, take those three breaths. What is going on here?

[00:18:41]And then you're not reacting or no, what is it? You're not reacting to life, you're responding to life. Am I being that right?

[00:18:48]>> Yeah.

[00:18:48]>> Yeah. So it's like you you have a moment. So your monkey mind isn't just kicked in. And I'm and I'm speaking for myself here. you know when I am agitated or in you know reacting it's like it's like my monkey mind is it wants to attack or wants to fix it or you know and it does and doesn't usually make it better right >> it's like the pausing and and just realizing hey you haven't eaten since breakfast girl which usually isn't a problem I'm usually eating but just an example of like maybe your blood sugar's low and that's why you're being a raging [ __ ] um I want to bring it back to to grief because you you were saying something so beautiful and now I forgot what it was but you know I want to bring it back to like uh present day and and and practicality and um I you said everything's on the table so I know your dad just recently died right I mean >> just a little over a year ago year ago last month >> the year ago last month and I know you were there with him a lot you talked about this so you know talking about sitting with the pain. Um, how did you use like did you notice that you use this practice? I mean, I think you kind of live this way, but with your dad, uh, did you ever did you and your dad have that kind of relationship where he is living this way?

[00:20:09]>> Those are great questions. Um, my dad uh was my my dad had a a a difficult time with accepting his diagnosis and your book was super helpful for that. My parents loved your book and it it helped so much because my dad was having a very hard time deciding to go on hospice. you he was just he thought I don't no I'm not giving up you know he was just one of these I'm gonna fight I'm gonna fight I'm gonna fight which is my dad and I love him for that but there was also a time where it's like okay you know you got to you have to let go here now you can't control this anymore and there he was not so much of a you know practitioner of mindfulness really he was you know he he yeah he he tried cried and he he liked you know uh he he had a kind of a very eclectic spirituality about him. Um but it was a it was a challenging time for the whole family and for me personally our parents are the ones who like put our buttons there >> and nobody knows how to push them like they do.

[00:21:33]>> I know. So, you know, you were talking about reactivity and reacting versus responding. It's like I noticed for me that that reaction, there's nothing you can do about that. That initial just like that like if I'm angry, this fire starts to come up here. It's like, oh, and what I used to do is like get the lighter out and turn it up and be like, >> and now I'm like, I feel that fire and I take a deep breath and I let it sit there.

[00:22:04]I just let it burn for a sec.

[00:22:07]>> God.

[00:22:07]>> And I'm like, I don't have to do anything just because the fire is here.

[00:22:13]>> Yes. And can I actually accept the fire for a second?

[00:22:16]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:22:16]>> Maybe you love that fire.

[00:22:17]>> Can I sit by this fire and let it warm me?

[00:22:20]>> Fire. Oh my god.

[00:22:21]>> Right. Right.

[00:22:23]>> Oh.

[00:22:23]>> And that that really deepened my practice being with my dad through this really difficult time. I was so grateful. I I was writing the book actually as he was dying. I had to I almost I thought at one point I was going to not publish the book because I couldn't meet the first deadline.

[00:22:43]>> I kind I think I kind of remember this maybe you and I talking about it or you being like this is what's going on.

[00:22:49]Yeah.

[00:22:49]>> Yeah. And so I I sent Chronicle and and email my publisher there and I was like you know what I can't do all this. It's like I just wasn't in the head space to write because I am not an author, >> you know? Like I'm like I'm just a guy who does mindfulness who wants to make a book, but like I don't I'm like this is a lot of work for me. I can't just not just spilling out onto the page. And so I told them I wasn't going to be able to do it. And I I was ready to kind of give it all up and just be there with my dad.

[00:23:18]They were amazing. They're like, "Take as long as you need. Give us the book when the book is done." Thank thankfully. And I'm so grateful to them for that. But being there with my dad was a huge lesson for me about not just who he is was but who I am and the parts of him that are in me you know like that we just carry with us and like the the way humans are. We are our ancestors in a way >> and we have an opportunity to to to love and honor that without necessarily treating it like it's a um uh a way we have to be. You know, we can we can have those feelings and those tendencies but not have to be any certain way.

[00:24:08]>> So that that's that's really the biggest >> I think gift that I got from my dad's passing. Uh, and the grief has also been its own gift because it >> Yeah, >> it's like surfing.

[00:24:22]>> It comes and goes. Sometimes it hits you like a wave when you least expect it and all of a sudden you're just crying and something's beautiful. It's horribly sad or it's um but to just be there and feel it when it's not a fire, when it's like a a wave of sorrow instead. Same thing.

[00:24:43]I can ride this. I can be with that.

[00:24:46]>> What do you feel about this? Just came to me as we were talking. I don't I don't have it on my little sheet, but um you know, grief um like grief and and regrets and and guilt. You know, I feel like when someone you love dies that that maybe quote unquote triggered you a lot, right? or you have a lot of difficult feelings around it for one reason or another, right? Even if it's not that quote unquote like big of deal, but for, you know, I I have that too where like for some reason people in my family make me feel a certain way and it's not good.

[00:25:23]Okay. And um I feel like it would be inevitable inevitable for me to like after they're gone to have regrets that I couldn't quote unquote get rid of that or have things where I should have appreciated that more or why didn't I like what are your thoughts on that? because I think no matter what I do that's going to happen. I think that's a lot of people's experience, >> right? Well, do you do you want to walk through that a little?

[00:25:47]>> Yeah, sure.

[00:25:48]>> Let's just go there.

[00:25:49]>> Okay.

[00:25:50]>> What is regret?

[00:25:52]>> What is it when when it when it's there?

[00:25:55]Like if you were to just think of a regret you have. You don't have to say what you regret, but but like what is it?

[00:26:04]>> Like if you were going to say like where is your body? What does it feel like?

[00:26:07]It's in my stomach.

[00:26:09]>> Okay.

[00:26:10]>> It feels like I wish I could have, you know, done this more. I wish I could have not felt that burning fire in my chest.

[00:26:21]>> No.

[00:26:23]>> Towards this person.

[00:26:25]Instead, I wish I could have been like accepting of who they were and appreciated them more. Like I already feel it now and the person's not even gone. You know what I mean? Like um >> so I guess the regret Yeah, the regret is that and I and this is hasn't even happened. I'm already regretting like I'm making up things that but I just uh Yeah. It's like a >> Well, the regret is a feeling in your stomach.

[00:26:49]>> Yeah.

[00:26:50]>> So go there.

[00:26:51]>> Yeah. Okay.

[00:26:52]>> What is it without all those other like expectations and the story around it?

[00:26:58]>> Probably sadness.

[00:26:59]>> Yeah.

[00:27:00]>> Oh god. Eric, >> just sadness, right? You can feel sad. I know.

[00:27:04]>> You can feel sad. And that's >> that's what regret is. Regret is trying not to feel sad.

[00:27:12]>> Yeah.

[00:27:12]>> You know, >> oh my god.

[00:27:14]>> It's But you can feel when somebody says you can feel sad, >> you don't have to.

[00:27:23]It It's like so often anger is we don't want to feel sad.

[00:27:28]>> Yeah.

[00:27:28]>> Anger is just another way of like putting a lid on sadness. I want to feel angry because anger is powerful.

[00:27:34]>> I want to feel regret because regret makes me feel like maybe I'll be a better person if I beat myself up a little.

[00:27:41]>> If I beat myself up, if I beat myself up a little, I will be better, >> you know, like I can I won't do this.

[00:27:48]>> Yeah.

[00:27:48]>> Right. That and that, you know, comes back to that same we all have that little kid in us that is not good enough, >> you know?

[00:27:54]>> I know.

[00:27:55]>> So, we can just sit with that sadness.

[00:27:59]>> Yeah. you know, and like be there and let those thoughts come and go, but believing our thoughts is really what gets us in so much trouble.

[00:28:13]>> Is that the myth you're talking about?

[00:28:14]Like awaken your myth, like awaken to these myths you tell yourself about who you are or what's in >> That's an aspect of it. Definitely.

[00:28:22]Yeah. I I call our personal myth the story we tell ourselves about who we are, what we're capable of, what we love, what we hate. And it's a it's a thing that we grow up believing. It's how we separate ourselves from the rest of the world. And it's useful. It's like you build an ego as you grow up. And it's like I am a separate powerful person who can do this and can't do that. And you know what the rules are and we're very social beings and we need this. So as adults, we also need to see it's by no means the whole story >> and that it is really mostly just a story. And so we take that personal myth and when we awaken it, we bring it into the present and we say, "I am all here.

[00:29:06]Eric, my dad, my mom, my eons of history, wherever the heck I'm headed, yet I am just here in this moment.

[00:29:16]what's here?

[00:29:19]Who am I right now? And that opens up this freedom to be present, but not as a practice, as just a way of being. You're always here.

[00:29:34]>> And I think what you said just a moment ago about we're separate, you know, we're separating ourselves. I think I mean just because I'm a I'm just because I live in America and grew up here I can I feel like that's a real we're very individualistic.

[00:29:49]>> Yeah.

[00:29:49]>> And I really feel like we're missing this communal aspect of life where we commune together which is why I love which I was a part of for a brief second year group of people doing this together. And whether you do it or you don't do it, you don't, you awaken your myth or you don't actually do the work, whatever, I just think it's great to come together with people who are trying to do the same thing.

[00:30:10]>> And I think even myself, like when I don't feel well, >> I'm like, I got to be alone, you know? I I got to I got to go to my room. And sometimes I actually do need to be alone, right? Some and then some. But but most times, at least for me, >> connecting to other people is really what I need. And what will what will make me feel I don't know about better but just not alone you know.

[00:30:38]>> Well I mean you you talk about it a lot with your own journey of sobriety and you know like the whole idea behind meetings is being able to be together you know and and share what's going on. And I think that that's important for all of us. And and in a sense our personal myth is kind of like an addiction. It's these things we're addicted, these ideas and beliefs about ourselves that we're addicted to. We're like, "This is me."

[00:31:08]>> And we hold on to them like because they keep that sadness away. They they feel like they create distance from our feelings and we want that distance because it it's a perception of safety.

[00:31:22]>> But is it really safe for just to not feel your feelings?

[00:31:28]>> Right? And if I think about and then we're going to get to um followers questions because we have we have some good ones. But when I think about like death and dying, right? And and I witness people >> on that journey. They're not dead yet. I always say that, right? On that journey because THEY'RE NOT DEAD YET.

[00:31:46]>> I'M NOT DEAD YET. LIVE. LET'S LIVE. AND KNOW and people who um seem to get that right seem to have some form of awareness and not and not listen not everybody I'm not there all the time right but just generally speaking people who um sometimes death people die of the way they lived most of the time but sometimes death is a real acute way to get people to go hey whoa what's what are my priorities who how am I operating in this world. What do I want to leave behind? What what do I need to do now?

[00:32:22]Right? And it's a really beautiful thing to witness and to connect with somebody who's kind of there, right? And on that level and realizing I don't have time. I thought I did and now I don't.

[00:32:34]>> Not everybody gets there and that's okay, too, right? But a lot of people do. And and and the idea of knowing you're going to die. We all kind of know it. But when you really know it, cuz someone tells you and now you're on hospice, >> it kind of acutely gets you there.

[00:32:49]>> Yeah.

[00:32:49]>> Or it can.

[00:32:50]>> And it's a really beautiful thing to watch. Even if they're saying really scary, quote unquote scary or bad things like, >> "Sure, >> I'm angry." Like when any whenever a hospice patient can say to me like truthfully with tears in their eyes like, "I'm so angry. I don't I don't want to die. This is so [ __ ] up. This is so unfair."

[00:33:12]It's like the most beautiful thing. It makes me cry but not cry like sadness, cry like >> because there's a truth and the truth can open up things and help you connect to people. And when I see families who are willing to hear their loved one just say that and not go, "No, no, no, no, no, don't say that. You're fine. It's going to be okay. We'll It's" It's like, "No, no, no, no, no. Just let this happen. Let them share this. Connect with that."

[00:33:39]>> It's so beautiful. And it's actually not depressing. And I can have days where I'm crying over that because it's not really fair. But it's also like so beautiful. It's like humanity and like a moment.

[00:33:50]>> Yep.

[00:33:52]>> Like you said, here and now. Like >> Well, I I think that for for the people who death brings their or the the notification of their impending death brings presence. It is like that everything the world is different >> when you're here when you're not lost in thought about life.

[00:34:16]>> Yes.

[00:34:16]>> And so those people are seeing a world that's different from the world they saw and it's different from the world maybe the people around them thought you know thought they lived in as well. And so it can be very much like, oh, okay, dad's not like he used to be anymore. And sometimes it's it's really uh triggering for people to see somebody become more present, to see somebody feel their feelings and be in the moment because they expect you to be a certain way or they want you to be a certain way because we should be positive. Be positive. That's, you know, there's so much toxic positivity in the world, you know, like just as the form of denial.

[00:34:58]>> Yes. And when people come up against their death and are not denying it anymore, it's it can be so freeing for them and sometimes freeing for the people who love them, but sometimes very triggering.

[00:35:09]>> Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. I see all of it.

[00:35:11]>> You do.

[00:35:12]>> I see all of it.

[00:35:13]>> Um, okay. Let's get to these amazing questions from my amazing followers. Uh, okay. So, they're general, but I think it's great because I think this is kind of like what the majority of people think, right? Um, so someone writes, "I'm looking for peace among amongst the chaos."

[00:35:34]>> Um, how do I begin?

[00:35:36]>> Yeah.

[00:35:37]>> Yeah.

[00:35:37]>> Great. Great question. Yeah. Um, where is peace?

[00:35:44]Where is peace? That's that's how I like to begin because even in the most chaotic situation if you go to your body if you take just a few breaths or is peace and you're not asking your mind for an answer like oh it's in my little toe or it's it's just like >> you'll and you may not feel it at first.

[00:36:12]This is where sometimes it can take a little bit of trust and just trying again. Begin again. That's why I always everything for me starts with begin again. Okay, I tried and I didn't feel it. It doesn't work. Well, begin again.

[00:36:25]Try it again. We're all in this together. Just this. Is there peace in this right now?

[00:36:35]Yeah, there's peace and chaos.

[00:36:38]>> There's always peace underneath the chaos. And as the chaos winds down, life is chaos.

[00:36:43]>> Yes.

[00:36:43]>> As the chaos winds down, we experience the peace more. But then the chaos winds up. The peace didn't go anywhere. It's still there. This the sky is blue. When there's a hurricane and you can't see it anymore, but it didn't go away. And peace is kind of like the sky. It's this. It's always here. It's not always what we're experiencing, but we can even when we can't see it, we can remember it >> and we can feel it in the body.

[00:37:14]>> Yeah. I think that's why at least for me, like nature, like thinking about me putting down my phone because a lot of times I can be on my phone doom scrolling and then I'm in my head of like >> the world is on fire literally and all, you know, and um not that I want to go blind to that, right? But it's like sometimes I need to put down my phone and I think about you like walking out of your cabin, right? And being amongst the trees, amongst the water, amongst the rocks, amongst the nootes and the n like the like salamanders, like things like that where you're just like touch the ground literally. I know people always joke, oh, go touch grass. It's like, but really >> go be in something greater than yourself, like the forest.

[00:37:58]>> It's true.

[00:37:59]>> Because you need to remind yourself that like you're here. Yeah. And for sure that you can take that initial feeling of peace and then find what what helps you cultivate it, right?

[00:38:14]>> You know, like definitely it's not doom scrolling, right? So, you know, okay, I can put this down. And we all do that for the same reason we all like are trying not to feel our feelings. That's a perfect way to not feel our feelings.

[00:38:26]It feels safe to doom squirrel, >> you know, like so what's what's next?

[00:38:31]>> Yeah. Have opinions. Yeah.

[00:38:32]>> Say what? You know, I mean, Lord knows I got him. But there's this one guy I follow that every time he starts a video, and God bless this guy because you guys are probably going to know who he is once I say this, but he'll go he'll go, "Breaking news." Every video, "Breaking news." And he does like six videos a day, right? And so every video I'm going, >> "Breaking news. What What happened now?

[00:38:53]Oh my god." And I finally I was like, "Okay, I got I got to stop.

[00:38:57]>> I got to stop with this for the at least for the moment." Okay, here's another glimp. Um, how do you keep the intrusive thoughts from being well intrusive?

[00:39:07]>> I love that. I love that.

[00:39:09]>> Lord, I got I have intrusive I really do. That's not from me. That's from someone else. But I really do. I have intrusive thoughts on that freeway. What if I >> take my car off the bridge? What? And it's not really suicidal. It's just like I have these thoughts. What if I cut my finger off? What if I >> Sure.

[00:39:26]>> All thoughts are intrusive. Oh, >> there there's no thought that like you think. What's What's your next thought going to be?

[00:39:35]>> How beautiful YOUR EYES ARE.

[00:39:37]>> SORRY.

[00:39:39]I can't take I mean, I actually can't take things serious, but seriously, you guys, his eyes, Eric's eyes are so beautiful.

[00:39:48]>> So, all thoughts are intrusive. They're they're always just >> showing up. There like in Buddhism they call consciousness the sixth sense and like we see colors and shapes with our eyes. We perceive thoughts with our mind. So the mind is just like tasting thoughts all day that it isn't choosing.

[00:40:12]They're just coming through. And so when a thought comes through and we're like, >> "Oh my god, that's my thought. I thought that thought. What's wrong with me?" we go in there's this whole self mechanism kicks in and we're fighting with ourselves. We're we're like we're we're picking sides. We're having somebody's talking, somebody's listening. That's weird. Right. Which one are you in that situation?

[00:40:37]>> So, >> the answer is neither. Right.

[00:40:39]>> Right. So, not and not to minimize the importance of this. Intrusive thoughts can be seriously um they they can >> they can need professional help.

[00:40:50]Exactly. I was going to say >> if you're having intrusive thoughts that are about harming yourself or others, reach out for help. But if you're having like a thought about like something that like a song that won't get out of your head, but a thought that won't get out of your head, what happens if you just go to that thought and don't fight it?

[00:41:11]What if you just let that thought be?

[00:41:14]That thought's also not going to last very long. It will keep coming back if you're always afraid of it and expecting it. But thoughts just they don't stick around. They're always changing. And sometimes we get on a thought train and it feels like it's one long thought, but it's not. It's many thoughts that we're kind of pushing and pulling towards like the fix me route or the, you know, like get it route.

[00:41:41]>> But what if you just don't get on that train? What if you let that thought be there?

[00:41:49]What happens then?

[00:41:52]>> Yeah. Beautiful. I always >> That works for me.

[00:41:55]>> Yeah. I wish you guys were sitting across from this man. Oh my god. It's Eric. You exude like you exude like love and comfort and h just it's so beautiful to be in your presence. I'm so grateful.

[00:42:09]>> It's easy to feel this way around you.

[00:42:11]>> You are also love and comfort. A thank you. Uh I always think about there's one more question but I always think about the awareness that like me taking time in the morning to what I would call like connect to a higher power, higher self, mother nature, whatever helps me pause throughout the day because what I do is I have fake fights in my head.

[00:42:35]>> Yeah, I think we all do that. fake fights of like like full madeup fights, strangers, then he said this and I said this. I don't >> what my my like all of a sudden I don't even know what's happening. I just have like a pounding heart rate and I'm like, "Oh my god, I'm physiologically responding to this fake fight." And anyway, the the awareness is like now I can stop myself and I don't judge it. I like laugh like, "Oh my gosh, look at this fake fight in my head. I'm I have a fake fight in my head. This is this is funny." Yeah.

[00:43:04]>> Um cuz it used to kind of be like again, what's wrong with you? I'll always be like this. It's never going to be different.

[00:43:12]>> I need help. Blah blah blah blah. You know, that that whole story. Um which I've >> and it's not like I just came to that conclusion. I've had I got I've got a lot of help, folks. Medication, therapy, >> not to be underestimated. Not to be underestimated. Help is is is good.

[00:43:30]>> Help is good.

[00:43:31]>> Help is good. Um, so this last question is, I would like to meditate, uh, but I can't seem to do it. Uh, any tips or tricks? I feel like you kind of talked about this, but we can talk about a little more. Any act like real practical tips and tricks?

[00:43:45]>> Yes.

[00:43:45]>> Yes.

[00:43:46]>> Um, the let meditate without an expectation that it should be any certain way. A lot of times people think, oh, I'm meditating, but I'm still thinking, so I'm doing it wrong. I can't stop thinking or I should feel peaceful or I there should be something that's happening when I'm meditating. So, you know, try that two minutes and just be there. Bring your attention to your breath. You know, just bring your attention to your body. What do you feel? What's pleasant? What's unpleasant? What's here? And gentle, curious, compassionate. So beginning again, coming back. If you're like, I'm I'm lost again. I'm lost in thought. I can't do this. Two minutes of being gentle, compassionate, and curious with yourself. And that will that's meditation right there.

[00:44:43]It doesn't need to be, you know, seated in a corner with a little gong and an incense and some transcendental experience. You can just start like that. And you know, I spend at least an hour every morning now meditating because it's pleasant and I enjoy it. It didn't start that way. It started with two minutes that were not pleasant, you know? So just because meditation sucks, don't like give it up.

[00:45:13]>> Exactly.

[00:45:13]>> Like try keep keep going.

[00:45:16]>> Meditation sucks until it doesn't, >> right?

[00:45:19]>> And then then you're able to sit for an hour. Like people I can remember hearing people say that and be like what?

[00:45:25]>> But and I and I don't meditate for an hour every morning, but I've had times in my life where I have. And of course, like you said, didn't start out like that.

[00:45:32]>> It's like running, you know, like the first day you go running, you're like, I can't run. This is ridiculous. And you feel like hell the day after and you're just like, yeah, running's done for me.

[00:45:42]But if you keep going, you know, do a little run, a little longer the next day, a little longer, all of a sudden you're like, wow, I really love running.

[00:45:49]>> Yep. those two minutes turn into something.

[00:45:52]>> Yeah, >> for sure.

[00:45:53]>> I love that. Thank you.

[00:45:56]>> Um, okay. These are these are questions that I that I uh like to ask people that um well, I just like to ask people these questions, but especially coming from someone because I love talking to people who I really respect and love and and I like I want what they have, you know, type of thing. Not not materially >> inside. Um, and since this is kind of a death and dying show, more about living than dying, but I still like to age, you know, uh, stage the question, um, are you afraid of dying? Okay. So, one, that's the first question. Are you afraid of dying?

[00:46:33]>> No.

[00:46:33]>> No. Okay.

[00:46:36]And has your has like the hero's journey that you've taken over your life and like awakening your myth and the mindful practice that you've had, all the things, has that helped you on your journey? And how?

[00:46:49]>> Yes.

[00:46:51]>> The journey itself has become >> the thing for me. For most of my life, I thought it was going somewhere. And it needed to be somewhere. It wasn't until it was good.

[00:47:07]>> Yes.

[00:47:07]>> And now the journey is the good. Even the bad is the good. And it's definitely the that connection to the journey to the to and knowing it's always into the unknown. We we could think we know what like this afternoon holds, but we don't.

[00:47:31]>> We don't.

[00:47:32]>> We don't. And so when you can kind of let go and open your hands and be like, all right, I'm here for this whatever it is, then you realize, okay, death is also part of this journey. And There's nothing to fear.

[00:47:48]>> That's the title of my book, you guys, if you didn't know.

[00:47:52]>> Such a good one if you haven't read it.

[00:47:54]>> Good segue. Wait, good plug. Um, but how did you haven't always felt like that or have you?

[00:47:59]>> No.

[00:48:00]>> Okay. Okay.

[00:48:00]>> Oh, god. No. Oh, god. No. When I was 19, I got a terminal diagnosis.

[00:48:08]>> What?

[00:48:08]>> That I thought >> Is this in the book?

[00:48:10]>> No.

[00:48:10]>> Okay. It's not I don't talk about it much.

[00:48:13]>> Okay. Um, and I lived with a a very deep fear of death for two years until I found out that it was a misdiagnosis.

[00:48:25]>> Wow.

[00:48:26]>> Um, and I realized that during those two years, I thought about death every five minutes because when it was when I found out that I wasn't going to die of this diagnosis, every five minutes I was like, "Oh my god, I'm not going to die. Oh my god, I'm not gonna die. And it it was a I wouldn't wish it on anyone, >> but it was a really um it was a good experience ultimately because I learned so much about what living with death is.

[00:49:04]>> Right. I I yes I feel like I understand that to an extent because I see death all the time right I see people going I thought I had more time I don't understand you know I don't how did this happen like I just retired and I think um not having the experience of me thinking I'm going to die and then not um but seeing how that that changes everything has helped me kind of really have those moments of like I'm not going to die >> or I'm not dying dying yet or what?

[00:49:40]Yeah. I'm not I'm not I don't have this terminal illness. I am alive.

[00:49:44]>> Um it really can shape it can really reshape how you live.

[00:49:49]>> Yeah. And like just carry it to that moment, right? Like so you are dying.

[00:49:57]>> Mhm.

[00:49:57]>> Here we are. It's Julie's final breaths.

[00:50:02]can take that same piece, that same awareness of what death is right to death's door. And that ultimately allows us to live so much more freely because we're not afraid that we're, you know, like I I know a lot of people and there's people in my family who are just like, I really I just hope I die in my sleep, you I hope I hope I don't have to actually be there when I die. And I look at it the other way. I'm like I >> kind of I'm like, let's go.

[00:50:42]>> Yeah.

[00:50:42]>> Let's do this.

[00:50:43]>> Yep.

[00:50:44]>> Um Yeah.

[00:50:45]>> I would want to have I I feel like it's a privilege to have time leading up to knowing like if you know you're dying and then having that time to lead up to it. I think that's like a great privilege. I mean, whatever. I'm going to die how I die.

[00:51:00]But like if I get that >> Yeah.

[00:51:02]>> I uh I think it >> can be really beautiful.

[00:51:06]>> Yeah. And so and say you don't >> or whatever or not beautiful it is what it is, right? It's like the moments of being there, >> right? And and even if you don't, you know, like if you if it's a it's a horrible accident, you've got like 30 seconds before you bleed out.

[00:51:21]>> I mean, this is getting this is getting really dark, right? But how do you want those 30 seconds to go?

[00:51:28]>> I know.

[00:51:29]>> Do you want to be lost in regret? Do you want to think, oh, or do you want to take a deep breath, come to your body, be here in the present, and just like go there, have that death, be that death.

[00:51:43]That's every moment asks us for that.

[00:51:45]And when we can live that way, we're fully alive.

[00:51:51]>> Uh, done. Period. Show's over.

[00:51:55]We could go home now. My god.

[00:51:59]Okay. Um, okay. Actually, I have one more question and it's like I want to end there, but really I really actually want to know what you think about this.

[00:52:07]You can either keep this in or not, but >> what do you think happens after we die?

[00:52:11]>> Uh, what happens before we die?

[00:52:13]>> Yes. Yes.

[00:52:15]>> That's what happens.

[00:52:16]>> Yeah. And then is that like a >> Oh, no. You don't know that happens that No. What happened before we were born?

[00:52:22]>> Mhm. That's what h that's what I meant to say.

[00:52:24]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:52:25]>> Yeah.

[00:52:26]>> And is that kind of like so who knows or do you mean like nothing?

[00:52:30]>> No, I mean it it is it is the unknown in its deepest most profound form.

[00:52:44]>> Yeah.

[00:52:44]>> The the unknown.

[00:52:46]>> Yeah.

[00:52:46]>> And the mystery whatever you want to call it. Uh it the thing that every religion and every spiritual tradition and everything points to it.

[00:52:59]Yeah. I mean I I feel like it's here right now. Like I don't >> Yeah. Like it's it's not different. It's this >> not this body, not these senses, not this conscious awareness as it is in a human form.

[00:53:19]But there is or that that peace I was talking about that you can kind of you can always feel as a low-level piece that >> Yeah, I get it. I get it.

[00:53:36]Oh boy. Oh boy. I love this guy, you guys. Okay, so that's it. I wanna I wanna I want to plug a bunch of things for you because um I know and I mean one I know and love you but also I love what you do. I mean so you guys you can follow Eric at Listen to Sleep. Yeah.

[00:53:57]>> Right. On >> on all those socials.

[00:53:59]>> On all the socials. Listen to sleep. He also has an amazing podcast called Listen for Sleep.

[00:54:04]>> Listen to Sleep. listen to sleep where he basically has like bedtime stories and I have really actually listened to you Eric and I often think I got to tell Eric this because it'll be like 1 in the morning and I can't sleep and I'll be like let's take a walk down the road of blah blah blah blah blah and I'm like oh my god and it's amazing and it can put you to sleep. That's the point of it.

[00:54:27]>> That's the point of that podcast. Yeah.

[00:54:28]It's just because we all need to rest.

[00:54:31]>> We all need to rest.

[00:54:32]>> We all need to rest. It's it's a very integral part of being human.

[00:54:37]>> And this book was really the other side of that. Like when you're not resting, how do you want to be living?

[00:54:43]>> Yeah.

[00:54:44]>> How do you want to be awake?

[00:54:46]>> Yes. Yes. And that's so Yeah. This is his book, Awaken Your Myth. Six steps.

[00:54:51]Six steps to Awaken Your Myth. Six steps to discover a life of peace and purpose by Eric Ireland. H my god. And then lastly, you have um which I briefly talked about. I mean, I don't know exactly how to describe it, but basically a group that kind of >> Yeah, it's a membership community.

[00:55:10]>> A membership community.

[00:55:11]>> Yeah. I have all my mindfulness courses uh and everything that I've created and people have direct access to me and we get together twice a month for uh we call them campfire gatherings over Zoom where I will talk a little about mindfulness. We'll do a group meditation and then it's a space where people can have a community that supports them in being exactly who they are, exactly where they are.

[00:55:39]>> Oh god.

[00:55:40]>> And yeah, that's called the cabin.

[00:55:43]Basically, I wanted to invite all these people to come to my cabin, but I can't cuz it's far too small and far too remote. So, I'm like, this is the cabin online. Come join us.

[00:55:53]>> Oh, man. I love it. I love that idea. I love um that you're doing that for the world. Uh and talk about legacy. I mean whether you want I mean you can have your legacy be whatever you want, but I just think about all the millions of people you're helping with your visualizations through your videos at the cabin virtually through your book.

[00:56:16]It's just really amazing. Thank you so much for being here today.

[00:56:18]>> Thanks, Julie. It's been such a pleasure.

[00:56:21]>> Oh my gosh. Okay. Okay, you guys. If you liked what we talked about today, please subscribe to the show on YouTube or through your podcast app, wherever you get your podcasts. Give us a five-star rating because that helps. And leave a comment or share on social medias, whatever you normally do with podcasts that you like. Okay? Leave a review.

[00:56:41]That always helps. Thank you very much.

[00:56:43]And um that's it for this episode of It's Okay, we're all going to die.

[00:56:48]>> It's okay. We're all going to die. It's okay. We're all going to die. It's okay.

[00:56:54]We're all going to die.