Knicks Garbage Cans, Shrek 5, World Cup Beer Shortage, and White House Reflecting Pool Infected

[00:00:00]Who's like a sexy singer? A sexy R&B singer to y'all your new generation because I say people, right? Like is Chris Brown acceptable as a No.

[00:00:09]>> No. Absolutely not.

[00:00:10]>> Y'all not having sex with Chris Brown?

[00:00:11]>> No.

[00:00:13]>> Really?

[00:00:14]>> Absolutely not.

[00:00:15]>> Okay, I can see that.

[00:00:15]>> You name another male R&B singer.

[00:00:18]>> Yeah, cuz men don't men ain't singing those lusty tunes no more. Everyone thinks about Does Drake not have some >> Daniel Caesar?

[00:00:24]>> Yes.

[00:00:25]>> Well, he got remember he got cancelled.

[00:00:27]No, >> he got cancelled cuz he he went with Yes, Jewels against everybody and it was it was a it was a on purpose foul. Go give >> Oh yeah, there you go.

[00:00:38]>> He do but that that's too lusty.

[00:00:41][laughter] >> That's like that's like open mouth the saliva dripping and [ __ ] >> His songs are like when you come up after eating somebody out your beard is dripping.

[00:00:50][music] >> Speaking of sexy. Yeah, >> we have some new trash cans parade.

[00:00:59]>> Look at this. A sanitation worker posing next to the San Antonio Spurs. Am I right? Little Nick based humor. Is that what we're doing for the rest of the year, y'all? You know it. All right.

[00:01:09]>> Castle.

[00:01:09]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:01:10]>> And somebody on your timeline's going to ruin this and be like, "Haha, those are Mets colors." Not right now. Okay. Did he paint these himself by hand?

[00:01:17]>> Damn.

[00:01:18]>> It's a union job.

[00:01:19]>> That's a union job. That's a You know that's good money cuz that's a white guy painting that. Like, holy [ __ ] This is the Department of Sanitation, New York's strongest.

[00:01:28]>> They were in garbage bags.

[00:01:29]>> Mhm.

[00:01:30]>> It's so meta.

[00:01:31]>> Yeah.

[00:01:32]>> Some people are looking at this looking at it like, "Yo, look at those beautiful garbage bags." I'm looking at like, Jesus Christ, is he getting time and a half? Oh my god, he's going to retire before he's even 50. What a sweet gig.

[00:01:42]>> Those are beautiful.

[00:01:43]>> Every New Yorker wants to steal one. We are located near the path of the parade.

[00:01:48]So, I was looking for one. So, I can see if there's like a RFID on the bottom if they're weighed down because, you know, I would like one, too, but I don't need this. There's no place in my house for this. And I'm reminded of there was a sweep stakes once to buy one of the chairs from the old Yankee Stadium, and I really wanted to get one. And the girl I was with at the time was like, "Don't be bringing that [ __ ] in the house. What are you going to You can't sit. It's a folding chair. It's going to scratch up the wood floor. It's not comfortable. It doesn't match anything." Like, you can get that once you go through a divorce and you don't get custody of the kids.

[00:02:16]Then you make your game room/ your crying room. Mhm.

[00:02:19]>> You could use it as a laundry basket, right?

[00:02:21]>> You could use it as a laundry basket.

[00:02:22]You could use it to trap raccoons because no one has jobs anymore and they have good meat for eating.

[00:02:27]>> Mhm. Listen, Prospect Park. That's tender riddles right there. [laughter] You could popcorn in it.

[00:02:32]>> Mhm.

[00:02:34]>> Depending how bad your kids are, put a brick on top. Free daycare.

[00:02:38]>> The World Cup's going on. Have you been watching?

[00:02:40]>> Shout to the World Cup. Um I have not. Apparently, it involves all the countries.

[00:02:47]>> I saw a USA jersey. I was like, can you wear that? It's like that MAGA or no >> cuz you can't be just be wearing a flag nowadays, you know? You got to certain nuances to it.

[00:02:57]>> But I see all the countries finding out about new countries. Never heard of uh Sweden.

[00:03:02]>> Is anyone going for a certain team here?

[00:03:05]Asking not because of any ethnicities.

[00:03:07][laughter] Maybe someone's partner comes from a different No, >> no.

[00:03:14]>> I'm saying this cuz y'all are very ethnic and diverse. So, and and and progressive. [laughter] >> Boston bars run out of beer as Scotland fans descend on City for World Cup.

[00:03:25]>> There was no beer. The Scots fans just drunk the place dry and that all they had was like Bud Light.

[00:03:32]>> He said it was such disgust. I get it.

[00:03:34]>> I like how you say the Scots did it with this [laughter] Scottish accent.

[00:03:38]>> If your favorite beer is missing from a tap, >> we've never seen anything like it.

[00:03:42]There's a decent chance Scotland had something to do with it.

[00:03:45]>> Yeah, if you're drinking light beer, you're going to go through a lot of it really quickly because you're just pissing it out as soon as you drink it.

[00:03:51][laughter] So, >> is that true? It light beer stays with you for less time.

[00:03:55]>> It's It tastes the same way it comes out like water. It's disgusting. You need something heavy, something thick, like a good pillar, a IPA. Nothing's better than tasting a beer that tastes like you're sucking on a tree on a hot day.

[00:04:08][laughter] You know, >> trying to chew a beer. you go like you ever drink something that's so thick you're like like that light beer is not cool light and then also light beer when it was made wasn't it like they always like pitching at like college girls like drink this like no it's still going to get fat off of it don't not the girl I mean everybody [laughter] you know we're progressive here they have issues with the reflecting pool algae grows there because it's shallow and it's directly in sunlight and that's perfect conditions for algae to grow Obama and them were doing reconstructing because like it needed structural integrity issues at bottom. It had filtration pipes and stuff like that.

[00:04:44]Trump was like, "I'm going to change.

[00:04:46]I'm make it blue." But he painted the bottom of it blue, which is like the perfect breeding ground for algae. So now, if you look at it from above, that's what it looks like. And the hydrogen peroxide kills the algae, but the amount they need, you can't be buying in like individual [laughter] bottles from Home Depot like they're doing. And that's why you see it's only on the edges. They need a truck of it to kill the algae. And >> it's not going to work. Biden that it's >> him and the auto pen. That's what it is.

[00:05:14]>> Yeah, >> that's crazy. That's the most accurate thing has ever [laughter] said.

[00:05:18]>> That's true.

[00:05:19]>> Where is the jokes?

[00:05:20]>> That's true.

[00:05:21]>> Listen, we're Listen, we're trying to get that channel 13 PBS pickup.

[00:05:25]>> I think we should get rid of the reflecting pool.

[00:05:27]>> Why? Because like it's causing like body dysmorphia with young people. The reflections.

[00:05:31]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:05:32]>> Yeah. I feel you.

[00:05:33]>> Narcissist is >> I am beautiful each and every way.

[00:05:37]>> You know that's real estate, baby. What?

[00:05:39]Don't say that cuz Trump is going to turn that to like a racing track or some [ __ ] >> Did you watch the UFC fight?

[00:05:44]>> I did not. That's where they called Michelle Obama a man. That's so like like 10 years ago. That's one of those things like your uncle brings up like oh that nursing home's calling.

[00:05:54]>> Big news.

[00:05:55]>> Big news. Nick's one >> bigger than >> I can only do that for like another week, right? [laughter] Like even I'm at the point now I'm like damn I wear a lot of Nicks here. Like >> are you running out of outfits?

[00:06:05]>> I am not. I went to the storage unit and I found a box and that [ __ ] says Nicks 2016. All right. I did find my Spreewell jersey that I used to wear to the club back in the early 2000s. That [ __ ] is an XL plus two extra inches of length. I look like Calvin in the Chipmunks in that [snorts] [ __ ] It's huge.

[00:06:24]>> Wait, wait. Calvin and the Chipmunks?

[00:06:26]>> Yeah, that's the one that came out of the Bronx. [laughter] >> It was on Bronx Net.

[00:06:31]>> You got to wear it.

[00:06:32]>> I got to wear it. I'll see if I could fold it up and then get a Uber XL to bring it here. [laughter] Like that [ __ ] when you look like, [ __ ] do you got draws on? Like you freeball with it. It's It's And then you look at it and like, yo, I was wearing this with some diesel sneakers in the club. Ladies, what's stop [laughter] >> it look it looks like I got a jersey dress before I got weight loss.

[00:06:55][laughter] Like >> it's like a NYX mumu.

[00:06:58]>> You have to wear it. Okay. No, the big news is Shrek 5 trailer dress. Shrek 5.

[00:07:03]All right. Last Shrek I saw was like Shrek 2. What if I missed out? I know they had kids.

[00:07:08]>> Shrek 5. Is he having like a midlife crisis? A midorg crisis? No. No. Or >> isn't he an org?

[00:07:14]>> Ogre.

[00:07:15]>> Ogre. Oh, what's a or is that like or is >> orc?

[00:07:19]>> Organization.

[00:07:20]>> Organization. [laughter] Here's a nonprofit.

[00:07:23]>> Oh my god. It's happening. It's really happening. Do you know what that means?

[00:07:27]>> I need a makeover. Get my arms yolked IN MY BACK JACKET, MY ASS ADDED. MAYBE even tighten up my no big city. [screaming] >> I'm kicked up like a freaking bakery.

[00:07:38][laughter] >> What >> was this written by AI?

[00:07:53]>> Kind of kind of quiet in this Alamo draft house. [laughter] >> So these are the Suns. Are they from a previous marriage? [laughter] >> Fiona doesn't turn into a human anymore, right?

[00:08:05]>> No.

[00:08:06]>> So, do ba do or or orgs ogres >> do they have natural births or C-sections or o sections?

[00:08:14]>> I think they're mammals. So, it's a live birth. It's not an egg situation.

[00:08:17]>> So, did that happen in like Shrek 4? Do we see that?

[00:08:19]>> I think at the end of Shrek 2, she says that she's pregnant.

[00:08:22]>> Okay. And this is their daughter. Is this Zenaia?

[00:08:25]>> No Bushwick energy [laughter] >> for real. She got some hot takes on Twitter.

[00:08:30]>> If you're a kid, you love this [ __ ] right? This is like just like sugar for your eyes. Is that how kids work?

[00:08:37]>> Say that.

[00:08:38]>> Is that a saying?

[00:08:39]>> Is that Yeah. Yeah. You know, sugar for your eyes. [laughter] >> So, Alpuccino famously loves Shrek and he has a Shrek phone case.

[00:08:47]>> Is he has he been in Shrek?

[00:08:48]>> No. [laughter] >> He kind of looks like Shrek there.

[00:08:51]>> He does look like Shrek.

[00:08:52]>> Wow.

[00:08:53]>> Alpuccino looks scary when he doesn't shave. He looks like he takes a little too long in the Port Authority stalls, [laughter] you know.

[00:09:00]Snap unveils 1,995 pounds smart glasses after previous flops. Is that pounds or frunks?

[00:09:08]>> Pound town, baby. All right. Uh, these glasses look stupid. [laughter] Does no one in the design is like, "Yo, you look like a dork in these." He looks like uh Uncle, what was his name? Uncle Junior from the Sopranos. [laughter] >> Uncle June.

[00:09:23]>> UNCLE JUNE. OH, first of all, what does Snap do? I thought Snap was like how you get food in bodeas. That's different.

[00:09:30]>> Yeah. This is like Snapchat's company.

[00:09:32]>> Oh, Snapchat.

[00:09:33]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:09:34]>> You know what? Snapchat is huge with like young people and they don't talk about it cuz they don't want our old asses on it >> cuz they be like, "We on TikTok." And they're not. They're on Snap. They have like little streaks and [ __ ] >> True.

[00:09:47]>> I haven't had >> No, she's old. [laughter] She old. She know. I see these kids.

[00:09:53]No, these youngans, they be up to [ __ ] [laughter] Keeping my eye on them. Not like that though.

[00:09:59]>> Cuz like I was walking my dog today and then it's like these three girls were making a Tik Tok on the corner and I was like, can I walk through?

[00:10:07]>> Is that would I be wrong?

[00:10:08]>> So what'd you do?

[00:10:09]>> I just froze. [laughter] I didn't know.

[00:10:12]And then I was like I was like they didn't look like they're Tik Tok stars.

[00:10:15]Like it was uncoordinated. One girl was kind of shy. You can see she had got peer pressure into it. So I told the other girls I was like give her, you know, show he's not bringing the heat and getting peer pressured into doing Tik Toks.

[00:10:24]>> Yeah. Couldn't be me. [laughter] >> No, we going to do some Tik Toks. We going to do some Tik Toks. We are.

[00:10:33][laughter] We are. Okay.

[00:10:35]>> Tik Tok.

[00:10:35]>> No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I thought we burned those hard drives.

[00:10:39]>> Looking good.

[00:10:40]>> Oh, thank you.

[00:10:41]>> Just lying to him. [laughter] >> You ever go to like the eye doctor and they put the drops in and they give you your glasses and you can't go home? Yes, >> they look like the 3D glasses the movie.

[00:10:51]>> Like when you go to like Disney World and they put you on some ride in VR, you have no idea what's going on.

[00:10:56]>> Why is the earpiece so big?

[00:10:57]>> So big. [laughter] >> Is that like a strap around the head?

[00:11:01]>> No, I think it's just like a regular just massive arm on his head.

[00:11:04]>> It's squishing down his ear. Like it doesn't actually.

[00:11:07]>> That thing looks heavy.

[00:11:08]>> And this is who he's married to. That man, >> this is Miranda Kerr. Where do we know her from? Isn't she Was she in a perfect uh Modern Family? No, she's she's a model.

[00:11:17]>> Was she Victoria's Secret model? I think she was an angel.

[00:11:19]>> She was an angel for many years. Yeah.

[00:11:22]>> We don't know her from anywhere else.

[00:11:23]She has like a familiar face.

[00:11:24]>> No, she's just a model.

[00:11:26]>> You sure?

[00:11:27]>> Yes.

[00:11:27]>> Okay, I'll take your word.

[00:11:28]>> She has a lot of scandal though.

[00:11:30]>> I thought you were going to see a lot of forehead.

[00:11:33]>> Look, >> what's the scandal?

[00:11:35]>> This I think Malaysian billionaire like gave her a diamond and they were like, "You can't do this." And she had to give it back and it was like this big scam.

[00:11:42]Do you guys remember this?

[00:11:43]>> No. [laughter] Blood diamond.

[00:11:46]>> Is Julia on a different Twitter than the rest of us? Like I didn't hear anything about this. The thing about blood diamonds is they're they're not bloody.

[00:11:53]It's like, "Oh, blood was shed to get if they were blood." I be like, "Yo, can't >> just dripping blood constantly."

[00:11:59]>> Well, yeah. $8 million in gifted jewelry.

[00:12:01]>> The next guy got her a Pandora bracelet.

[00:12:03]Like, good enough. [laughter] >> Yeah. Then this >> she's like, "Hey, you want some glasses?"

[00:12:08]>> Yeah. If you get like a $8 million ring from a guy, you can't ever bring that up to anyone you date afterwards. Like it's it just falls apart. We're talking big Miranda and Steve energy. You don't want that. [laughter] The self-doubts and [ __ ] The first time you have to pay for something for him, he's going to cry.

[00:12:24][laughter] >> I got the movie tickets. Like, yeah, I'm sure you did. Don't think I'm a man.

[00:12:29]>> Guess this is what is going on in there.

[00:12:31]>> They cut away before someone just punches him on the face. If you're on a train, you can't be like, [laughter] >> "That's why I need to look even older using my phone."

[00:12:41]>> And like what if someone standing like right in front of you? It's like a lady and now you're just like [laughter] like, "Sir, you can get your face cut."

[00:12:47]>> Do your meta glasses do this?

[00:12:49]>> You know what? My meta glasses don't do [ __ ] Remember I was trying to wear them in um France and I didn't realize like if you were have a cap, the cap is in all your shots >> and it doesn't warn you. And then I was like, "Oh, tell me facts about the Eiffel Tower." They was like, "It's a tower in France." And I was like, "Tell me more." They was like, "You already know what it is. We're not doing the work.

[00:13:06]>> You know the vibe.

[00:13:07]>> You know the vibe.h You're