Romantasy: Ranked & Roasted

Added: 2026-06-10

[00:00:00]Oh my goodness. I tried to read the minotaur one because so many people in the comments from the last video demanded it and hang on. I just uh >> I think it's like 15 seconds is probably >> that's probably good. Okay. What the [ __ ] I made it one chapter. One. Okay.

[00:00:21]Look, life is short. We curated ourselves. I simply did not need any more of that. Okay. Short time ago, I did this video about some romance.

[00:00:29]romanty books that I had read because I wanted to see what the storytelling patterns were that were different from movies in TV who claim that they've been trying to get a female audience, but they just can't succeed like these books have. I did ejaculate or aggressively shout several dong jokes, but I did take the analysis seriously. Today, however, I have thoughts on those books just from a book and writing perspective because while they are attracting the female audience that Hollywood cannot, that doesn't mean they're all good. Some in fact are downright garbage. Just pure ass. But if you like them, hey, that's cool. I'm an ass man myself and I don't listen to diet influencers. However, a few were fun and I'm looking forward to more of those. Those are going to be numbers 1, two, and three if you just want to skip ahead. Now, I ranked them because we're online and the video needs to have some kind of structure. I did try to keep each number on some sort of general point, but while I'm here talking about books, I will be sprinkling in other titles as I see fit.

[00:01:25]I'll add chapters. Now, let's spread some book cheeks cuz it's listical time.

[00:01:30]And I'm drinking out of this one today because yeah, I'm milking these books.

[00:01:33]And oh, speaking of milking, excellent segue. Number eight. Let's just get the Minotaur one out of the way. Commenters in the last video bullied me into this.

[00:01:42]It is dead last because I couldn't listen to more than one chapter on one and a half speed. This is going to be a recurring complaint, but the amount of millennial writing in just the first chapter was atrocious. Millennial writing is a vague term and okay, I started this script in December and then Starfleet Academy came out and I decided to turn these thoughts that I was working into into just a whole video.

[00:02:07]So, I do regret not discussing the etmology of the phrase though in that video. Like, is it because it's the new millennium? Is it because millennials are consumed it and that's we were the target demographic? People very angrily pointed out that most of the writers are Gen Z. No, I meant to say Gen X.

[00:02:23]Although some commenters did say it's not millennial, it's Gen Z. So, I don't know how to make people happy and they were correct. I don't know, man. Some folks get really prickly about generational labels. Anyway, back to what I already wrote. Millennial writing is a vague term, but for me it refers to a few things, and if enough of them are present to a strong enough extent, I'm going to call it millennial. They often have therapy language. For example, there are traumas. People have anxiety.

[00:02:49]That's a major plot point. They're aware of and talk about boundaries and mental health and emotional labor a lot.

[00:02:56]There's excessive quippiness all the time. No scene can be serious because everybody wants to have a oneliner.

[00:03:02]There is a clear attempt at banter constantly and it feels forced and unnatural. Think MCU humor. There are shoehorned in current-day political topics. Sometimes gossamer or thinly veiled, but usually just outright spoken as though you were watching a podcast.

[00:03:20]And lastly, and this is something I'm going to complain about later, as its own separate category of bad writing, millennial writing tends to include a lot of modernisms, which is especially apparent in a fantasy setting, most of which today's books are. Morning Glory Milking Farm goes hard in the Millennial Paint on all fronts. The main character is accepting a job to give handies to Minotaars, in case you were at all confused about the plot. She has to do this because she has crippling student loan debt. The author makes a point to explain that she had no way of knowing that her chosen field of work would collapse and she's now overqualified for her field and just can't find work. When she discovers what the job is, there's this whole aside about how the entire world is made for men and men control everything. And of course, poor little milkmaids are getting exploited to make their little blue pills. If you want to do modern settings and gender stories, hey, you totally can. It just can't feel like a lecture. Kristen Mcieran, who I've streamed with from time to time, is not just a YouTuber or book editor.

[00:04:25]She's also an author herself. Her newest book, The Twitter Crush, is a crime mystery thriller told through the files of the case itself, which is a really cool method. The book involves the publishing world and feminism, but explores it instead of badgering you with it. Some people are empowered for real by it. Some people are selling empowerment just to make a buck. And some just get off on the power of it all. She also gets into moral greyness in a really good way, which is rare these days, as some of the murders are like, I can't say justified, but certainly not tragic. You know what I mean? However, once the killer is convinced that they're killing horrible people, well, then they start to enjoy it and the definition of horrible starts to get a little hazy. It's a really fun read. You should check it out or just watch her on YouTube. Back on the milking farm, though, the main character doesn't like her overprotective mother and refuses her offer to live in the attic. She won't suffer such an indignity. Doesn't want to live in their small town where nothing ever changes and nobody leaves. But she is okay with milking bull men. In addition to the millennial writing, there is just bad writing. I actually wrote down one line while I was listening to this. As she's about to be led into the milking area, quote, "A strange prickle of apprehension prickled up her neck." If one of my children gave me a paper with that sentence, I would hit them with a thesaurus. And finally, we are treated to a vivid description of a foxwoman because, you know, this is a fantasy setting, even though literally every other thing is identical to our current year western life. A foxwoman lubes up her gloves and does exactly what you know she does before hooking up a boine utter suction tool to collect his specimen. Our main character accepts the job online on her laptop in the fantasy setting with minotaars and fox people and goes to sleep while quote ignoring the tingling between her legs. That was plenty for me. I didn't need another four hours of that. Real quick though, for all the people who are going to be saying, "See, you see what these hussies are reading?" I truly think that this particular book is an outlier. I know many of you heard about this book recently, last couple of months, but it's actually been around for some time.

[00:06:38]I first heard about it almost two years ago on Instagram. It was making the rounds there in mocking because this is a really a masterclass in marketing.

[00:06:47]Like this is a perfect storm. This cover is a great spoof on old romance novels, but instead of Fabio, it's a minotaur, a bull man. The title is about a milking farm, so you know instantly what kind of milking is being discussed. It's so crazy that it makes easy fodder for reals to laugh about. And then for many people, there was also apparently a morbid curiosity to find out or laugh at what was inside. And I am jealous. I will admit it. I would kill to create a video thumbnail that instantly lets you know what the video is about in a visual way and creates enough curiosity that you just need to find out what's inside.

[00:07:26]This is genius level design and titling.

[00:07:29]And I just game recognized game.

[00:07:31]Actually, I don't have the game, so I just respect it in general. I was still grossed out and could not stomach that terrible writing, though. My point, though, is that if number of reviews or anything to go by to guess at sales, Morning Glory Milking Farm is very much an outlier. Most of these monster romances are very niche. This book is the literary equivalent of the whole 67 thing that kids are doing. They have no clue what it means. I have asked fifth through 9th graders. Personally, nobody has a clue. But the more people seem to want to talk about how dumb it is, the more popular it gets. Morning Glory Milking Farm is like when you use stupid slang too much ironically and then accidentally realize one day you're using it unironically, which is not fire. Just trying to keep it 100. One more that I could not finish. There was already enough finishing in this one.

[00:08:19]That's why it's down here at number seven. I refuse to even trudge through these. They're so bad. The book is Icebreaker by Hannah Grace. I never actually said it out loud. So, there you go. You've probably seen a lot of headlines about the filthy and nasty smut these depraved wenches are shamelessly reading in public. Since I have now read several, I can tell you it's kind of mild in most of them by volume at least. I mean, some of the scenes get a little cringey, but not this one. This is just straight up corn, I think. Do I have to say that? I don't know. You know, you guys, YouTube doesn't actually tell us what words are no words. We just have to sense it out when videos get throttled and then you end up saying dumb stuff like unalived.

[00:08:58]Anyway, I actually only read a third of this because it was either boning or boredom. Not a lot going on, which is why it didn't get talked about much in the previous video. I do agree that this cover is pretty screwed up though. I mean, like look at this. That says teen or tween to me. This was at my local Sam's Club with the rest of the books.

[00:09:18]And I don't feel that it's really pearl clutching to suggest maybe that's not a good idea. Here's the last bit that I read. Hang on. Let's see here. Okay.

[00:09:27]He's standing there in his boxers and she thinks, "Wow, it's too big. It's not going to fit in my mouth or anywhere else. Can't read any of that. Really can't read. It's a lot of sound effects in here." Uh, let's see here. Oh, um, Nathan, that's her moaning. and uh can't really read much else of this or the money uh the video will get demonetized. So So that one's quite graphic and it's just nothing but that literal trust fun kids with fake drama and lots of drinking and doing it. Uh these other books however generally contain one or two sex scenes which are fully described but almost always 2thirds of the way through at least.

[00:10:09]Could these have been a fade to black implication of the sex having? Yes, and they should have. Do I think it's fair to classify a 350 page story buildup to a two-page sex capade as pure smut? No.

[00:10:24]It is, however, fair to say that the public popularity of these softer core books has led to the normalization and increased production of harder, girthier core books that are now innocently hanging out at my local Sam's Club. By volume, goofy stuff like Morning Glory Milking Farm is still very niche, and we really can't blame Sarah J. ass or Rebecca Yaros alone for the emergence of the jilling off genre that's been around for centuries. The fact remains, however, that this is increasing in popularity, sales, and public acceptability, and it is important to discuss how healthy that is. The answer is that it's not. And as somebody grew up with too much unsupervised internet access, I can confirm this is a bad idea and it's getting worse. It's why I quit reading that one and the Minotaur one. I just don't need that influence.

[00:11:11]Ultimately, I just I don't love any of the sex scenes in any of these, even the lighter ones. I mostly talk about movies and TV on this channel, and I've been on the record multiple times. I don't like the scenes in those either. They serve no narrative purpose whatsoever. They bring the pace to a complete halt, and they set the production in a category that I now can't share with my kids.

[00:11:31]Like, it's fun to talk about books and movies with my kids, but I'm not going to tell them we should watch Oppenheimer together when Florence Pu Pew's boobs are out all the time. And I'm not going to tell them to read any Julia Quinn because at least one bodice is getting ripped off in every single one. And I get that it's just a small scene and it's toward the end, but if it's so small, what's the point in even having it? I mean, I know what the point, but you get my point. Okay, Puritan rant is over. Now on to the books that I was able to finish. And the bottom two are Sarah J. Mass. I just don't enjoy her writing at all. and she and Yaros exemplify for me the biggest common complaints about book talk writing or romantic in general. A big critique that you're going to see about romantic is that it's often like a twoin- one shampoo conditioner. It doesn't do either one very well. The romance isn't great and the fantasy isn't great. I've been told Mass is a great world builder and I could not disagree harder. I do not love these worlds. At number six, Crescent City: House of Earth and Blood is not only a tool you could bludgeon some with, but also one of the worst books I've ever read that is not hyperbole. And I'm not alone. When I told her about the original point of the video, I was tricked into reading this by my wife, who I thought loved me.

[00:12:53]Turns out she just wanted someone to share in her disdain of the book. And it's easy to share in because oh my goodness, where do you even start? Sarah J. ass writes horrible people, but it's okay because they have like past trauma that will be revealed and you're supposed to feel bad. It is it's the most again millennial. I've definitely been to a lot of therapy style writing.

[00:13:15]How about the language? Most of the people in here are supposed to be hundreds of years old, yet speak just like the infuriating 22-year-old main character who acts like an obstinate 13-year-old. But it's not just the tone.

[00:13:29]It's those modernisms again. It's Bryce and her friend shouting, "Light it up, bitch." at each other. It's the non-stop regular swearing and American slang because the author couldn't be bothered to think of a different way of speaking for people in this fantasy realm. House of Earth and Blood says that the planet had only human beings until 15,000 years ago. That's very key information.

[00:13:52]Then creatures came into the world.

[00:13:53]Shape shifters, merkolk, angels, naga, whole host of fantasy crap. And yet history pretty much played out exactly the same. There are cars, regular cars, cell phones, texting, television, regular apartment buildings, night clubs. This story is really in New York, except every once in a while the author remembers, oh crap, this is a fantasy novel, so um well, you know, the cell phones, they have a a magical spell to keep them from breaking when you drop them. So, except you still buy them like a protection plan at the cell phone store, but you know, you'd be waiting there in line with an angel and a leopard person. So, very fantasy, much creative. I understand that not everything in the world is epic fantasy like Malazon or Stormlight or Witcher, Lord of the Rings or whatever. You know what? It doesn't have to be. That's fine. Even if you're writing urban fantasy, you just have to ask yourself, what would be different because of the magical element in this story? Author J.R. Carroll writes the More Than Human book series, and he's here on YouTube.

[00:14:56]You should check him out. Uh, he also just had a recent interview with Jim Butcher, which is another great segue after I saw him gushing over these multiple times. I read a few of these Dresden file books, and they are great.

[00:15:09]Although the the binding on these mass markets is absolutely horrible. One of these has a page that I have to just kind of stick in there. It'll fall right out. So, this is modern-day Chicago, but the main character is a wizard detective, and his magical aura tends to mess with mess with electronics. All right, cool. That's a different thing that we can now work into the story.

[00:15:29]Sometimes it helps Dresden when a villain is relying on something electronic. Sometimes it screws him because things don't work when he needs them to. His apartment and his office are unique settings because he can't have a computer or a cell phone or a water heater. It's these little touches that add interest to the story and give the author something to work with. The Dresden books also run with the pulp noir detective style, and I absolutely love it. Now, I've been told that the audiobook narrator does a great job, so I'm probably going to alternate some of those in, but I also think that Nicholas Cage could and should record audio versions himself as Spider Noir. Point is, these have a voice. They have a very specific style. Both Mass and Yaros Worlds are filled with people who sound like movie college kids who are different than real life college kids.

[00:16:17]By the way, Mass also writes like JJ Abrams. All right. Yeah, it's a whole warehouse full of mystery boxes in her books. And that's on top of all the obvious misdirects. Like if you ask Brandon Sanderson fans what they like and that's he takes a place right up here. They're likely to cite the ending Sanderlanch as it's called in each book where a bunch of clues fall into place to resolve a mystery or seven. What makes these interesting though is that you don't know their clues throughout the book. They aren't presented to you as mystery boxes. And that's what makes it fun to see how it all fits together and how most of it was hiding right in plain sight the whole time. Mass, however, just writes vague cryptic crap like a character giving the advice of look to where it hurts the most or some needlessly convoluted fairy curse that doesn't really make sense, but it sure does add bloat while the characters stumble around trying to figure it out.

[00:17:10]This doesn't create a sense of wonder or interest for me. I feel like my time is intentionally being wasted. Oh, this demon guy said, "What blinds an oracle?"

[00:17:19]All cryptic like. Okay, well, I'm not going to bother to think about that because it feels like I'm trying to get in the car and Sarah just keeps tapping the gas a little. We were searching for a mcguffin this entire time, but it turns out you can just infuse mcguffin dust into tattoo ink. Ah, obviously every fiction is contrived by definition. Okay, but most of the hurdles here feel extremely so just to give it a feeling of mystery and adventure and bloat it. She needs an editor badly.

[00:17:49]only slightly after Crescent City.

[00:17:50]Number five is A Court of Thorns and Roses. And I'm sure people are going to disagree with me hard on this one.

[00:17:55]That's fine. I get it. She's got a whole bunch of books coming out this year.

[00:17:59]Obviously very popular, so I'm in the minority. But this is a blending of Beauty and the Beast and Cinderella and others. But if you're into the Disney story retellings, I would suggest you just skip this and read the Cinder series by Marissa Meyer. They're much more fun take on fairy tales and they're more engaging and sex-free. As to Akatar, in the last video I was incredulous that the main character, Phyra, would end up with Ryson, the guy who coerced her into conjugal visits because she was about to die. Commenters have been telling me that I I just got to read the second book and then things really start to make sense. And you know what? Maybe they do, but I'm not planning to find out. I just I have no curiosity or interest about it. And that's the biggest problem. This is a pretty good-sized book. And if I have to spend this entire time with characters and not even begin to understand their motives, I have to suspect that the writing is just not that great. When people tell me that a character does a full 180 in the second book, my instinct is to assume that the author did not plan the story well, saw the corner they were painting themselves into, and then cranked the steering wheel hard. And maybe that's not the case. I don't know.

[00:19:10]But that's what that's what I hear when people tell me that. The other issue is that the first book didn't make me care.

[00:19:15]When nothing about the world here or characters is interesting enough to even get me to the second book, that is a serious problem. Another positive example, the Sunater series by Christopher Rochio doesn't uh doesn't start excellently, but it has enough interesting elements that I want to find out where the story is going. There are parts of that first book that get downright draggy. I'm not going to lie to you. The brothers in the beginning don't like each other. This guy doesn't get along with his dad. He has a kind heart in a cruel world. Yes. The point has been made. Oh, he escapes. All right. Yes. Oh goodness. Are we going to stay homeless in Tarbian forever? Oh my god. Is the story going somewhere? Oh.

[00:19:54]Oh, okay. Okay. We don't have to leave the city, but it does have sort of a severe high section, which also drags after a bit. But I am interested in what leads main character Hrien to blow up a sun. What's up with this uh extinct alien race that left no clues except crazy structures that can't be analyzed?

[00:20:13]How will the conflict play out with the corrupt government and church and the alien invaders? They're fighting back.

[00:20:19]Are they actually fighting them back or using them as an excuse for more power?

[00:20:22]Will it blow up in their faces? There's enough interest here that I want to find out. So when I hear people say that the writing and the pacing get better moving forward, I can get behind that. When I hear a court of mist and fury completely explains a political system that I don't find overly interesting to begin with or the full 180 of a character that I'm not invested in, it doesn't have the same effect. Second positive example, dungeon crawler Carl, which I was so pleasantly surprised by. It's phenomenal. And look, it sounds dumb and it is at first. What Matt Denimman gets so right is that he jumps right into the goofiness. Just hams it up. goes for the laughs, cranks up the absurdity. It's a blast. That's the hook. Now, you can't write multiple books just on absurdity unless you're Sir Terry Patchet. So, don't aim for that bar. Also, hang on. Speaking of Sir Terry, I do actually I use my 3D printer to make jigs and and tools and like useful stuff, but also I use it to print this horny turtle. There you go. It's not just for toys. It's mostly for toys.

[00:21:28]Now, what Denimman absolutely nails is the pace at which he brings in the heavy stuff. We start exploring consumerism, existential ideas, corporatism. We've got incredible character growth from a a freaking talking cat named Princess Donut. Side character Morai has a tragic backstory that I was dying to learn about. And unlike the MCU, the serious moments sit for a minute. Deniman is not afraid of them. He also avoids the lowhanging social politics of, "Hey, rich people bad. Am I right?" Which this setting could have lent itself to hard.

[00:22:05]In the seventh book, the world building really starts to expand to show that even the rich and powerful hate the way things are and they want to escape it somehow. But Deniman brings in a little prisoners dilemma there also because some of the powerful groups are just horrific and awful. And the other groups know that they'll never choose the everyone cooperates solution of the dilemma. Oh, they have to fight fire with fire and the universe is now one big stupid fire and everyone is unhappy.

[00:22:31]It's extremely thoughtprovoking and it also includes super weird stuff to keep things interesting. To be fair, this uh unfolds uh over several books. I just finished the seventh one. Cannot wait for the eighth one, but the first book has the hook and then things get added from there. Acatar does not have these interesting hooks for me, but it does have the most two-dimensional book boyfriend of them all and is probably responsible for much of what has been selling recently. Tamlin is either in a murderous rage or is barely containing his murderous rage or he is aggressively murdering the kitty, disembowing monsters or rearranging guts. That's it.

[00:23:09]This guy is pretty freaking bland.

[00:23:11]Again, probably why the second book has a switch up. My cynical assumption is that Mass realized this character could not continue on and needed a blank slate. And so, haha, Ryson was actually faking everything the whole time. Now, we're going to move a mountain with banging. This one also contains an ancient fairy queen that took over a whole kingdom, and she's extremely shrewd, but didn't notice the girl who can't read and suddenly has a guy's tattoo on her hand, was hesitating on picking the wrong lever, and then suddenly picked the right one. It's not good fantasy, guys. I'm sorry. It just after two books I do not jive with this author at all. Now Fourth Wing is such an interesting case and rightly ends up right here in the middle at number four because it has potential. You can see some glimmers of interesting thought here and there, some plot points that you would love to see expanded or I did, but it continually gets weighed down by two big problems. One, Yaros is just a bland writer. Like we have many similar millennial writing problems going on here, but the writing is simply tepid all around. But two, romance has been selling and you can see the influence, but it makes no sense. But underneath that, there are fun themes that could be played with here. The dragons supposedly value strength, but the biggest baddest dragon picks Violet, whose joints keep popping out and she's tiny. Maybe we're exploring what strength really means, what it looks like, how Violet represents a different kind of strength.

[00:24:41]There is a classic government lies to the people under the guise of protecting them idea that is a great launchpad for multiple strong themes and plot lines.

[00:24:50]The magic system is accessed through mythological animals who access it through the earth. Except the nightmare monsters access it directly and it eats their souls or something. There's a mineral that's used both to power magical shields and kill the evil monsters. We could go on an interesting direction with that. If this were HGTV, I would be telling you that this book has really good bones and would make for great entertaining with just a little sweat equity. The issue is that the first book makes the world look dumb, and the romance is just terrible. So, first, Fourth Wing has a military that has S tier soldiers and C tier, nothing in between, because the A and B folks tried to be dragon riders and then died.

[00:25:31]This is the stupidest military I've ever heard of. Sure is edgy, though. The Dragon Riders don't have a uniform. They just wear all black. And their rule book, it's way thinner than other branches of the military. Probably because writers don't follow rules too well. Oh, you think I'm joking? That was a line from the book, first chapter.

[00:25:50]Overall, the world building is not amazing in the first book, but there is enough to maybe build on, so I could see why folks would want to check out the next installment. Sadly, we still have millennial writing going on. Rebecca Yaros has her character say for the win multiple times. This is an edgy world of black leather and magic dragon writers, not some land party from 2002. She also sort of avoided things like the prickling prickle that prickled its way in the milking farm, but not entirely.

[00:26:22]You can really feel the find and replace that happened in writing this. After numerous joints get popped out of socket, they suddenly stop doing that and instead begin to subluxate. Whoa.

[00:26:34]Whatever. Yaros is obviously getting relief from her chiropractor. I know she sees one because they're the only humans alive that use that word. Overall, the writing is just simple, and that's not that's not a problem. You know, it's fine, but it's just that it's fine. Like I said, this book belongs dead in the middle because it evokes almost no response. It's not terrible and it's not good. If you want edgy themes plus interesting writing, Mrs. Owen strongly recommends the Locked Tomb series by Tamson Moyer. The first book being Gideon the Ninth. I am not allowed to wave it around on camera. It sits on the trophy bookshelf with the other trophy books. Fellas, you got to build that [ __ ] a library. [ __ ] love libraries.

[00:27:19]I recently started that one and I can second the praise. First, the book has great language. Like different characters can be discerned just by the way that they speak. The characters actually have character. Second, the world is mysterious and I'm eager to find out what's driving the politics and the magic. And my curiosity is heightened because the book is not constantly going, "Ooh, wasn't that a tasty morsel of intrigue? Should I tell you?" No, I won't. I'm being so mysterious right now. It's just telling the story like you already know some of it, and it trusts that you're going to pick it up as you go. And I trust that the author is going to sprinkle in information to help. However, the biggest issue with FourthWing and the Mass books is that the romances are complete trash. And that's because the authors aren't leaning into a trope.

[00:28:07]They are using the idea of the trope to fill in a relationship that doesn't exist. This results in a relationship that doesn't build. It's it's not earned in any way. In FourthWing, Violet and Zaden hate each other. They are mortal enemies who we are told again and again surely want to murder each other to death.

[00:28:31]Except we never see any of that. They seem to be interested in each other almost immediately. Actually, Violet has a two paragraph inner monologue when she sees him for the first time about how perfect his face is. Later on, as a bonus chapter from Zaden's perspective, it shows that he was enthralled by her at first sight as well. The author obviously just wants influencers to be able to say, "Oh my god, enemies to lovers." But not only do they never seem like enemies, I have no idea why they're lovers. I'm told they're into each other, but I really can't figure out what they see in one another. It's just a poorly written relationship. A trope is a pattern that helps to get the audience on board, and you can either subvert it or reinforce it. But FourthWing does neither. It just says tropes and then you fill in the rest.

[00:29:19]Oh, they're tied together because their dragons are mates. And if she dies, a chain reaction will kill him and their dragons. Wow. The inn only has one room and it has a twin bed. crazy.

[00:29:31]Their personalities do not mesh. Despite the length of this book, their characters aren't explored much, so we have no idea what they see in each other. It's writing by numbers, and it's very flat. These enemies to lover stories all want to imitate the classic, and you already know what I'm going to say. It's classic for a reason. It's a good story. Colin FTH is better than Matthew McFaden. But I realized I had never read Jane Austin's first novel, Sense and Sensibility. This thing is comedy gold and it contrasts a big failing with modern writing. When I talk about contemporary writers not understanding real people, this is going to be my new go-to right here. All right, this is actually Mrs. Owen's least favorite Austin book because she really hates Maryanne, but I think she's hilarious. Like, she's clearly over the top for the humor, right? Early on, there's this scene where she's telling her mother that Colonel Brandon is obviously so reserved because he's already spent. This guy is one foot in the grave. An ancient person like Brandon has no more zest. He's 35.

[00:30:35]Also, the ladies meet a Mr. Willoughby who seems like a great guy, but it's early in the book and his last name starts with a W. So, they're in town asking about him one day after they meet him and a shopkeeper knows him and says he is the greatest guy. So, they're like, "Hey, can you tell us about him?"

[00:30:50]And the shopkeeper's like, "Willoughby is an amazing horse rider. Super bold."

[00:30:55]also best shot with a rifle I've ever met. And the ladies are like, "Okay, but can you tell us about him?" And the shopkeeper's confused, like, "I've just told you everything important about this guy. He's incredible." I was actually chuckling out loud while listening to this because it's a bit of an exaggeration. Sure, but like how much though we do that. The thing is, you can't write this if you don't know how real people behave, so that you can exaggerate it a bit for comedic effect, or if you just straight up hate the group that you're writing. This was one of the standout issues with Mindy Kaling's Velma. Fred wasn't a joke. He was a stand-in punching bag for all things Rich, White, and Male, and the jokes could not land because they came from this angry, bitter place. Back to FourthWing. Rebecca Yaros doesn't hate men obviously, but the weakness in her story, and this goes for Sarah J. Mass as well, is that the men are just shallow. They aren't people. They are representations of one or two fantasy traits. It wouldn't be such a problem if they weren't part of the main cast, but they often are. So, these books are half filled with poorly written cardboard cutouts. That does not make for an enjoyable read. Um, speaking of enjoyable reads, I read Project Hail Mary recently because the movie was coming out and in love with this book.

[00:32:16]I'm probably going to go read the rest of Andy Weir's stuff, but I also have to go watch that movie. So, we'll get back to number three where the good books start. Be right back. Okay, I'm back.

[00:32:26]Uh, actually two days have passed since we talked just a few seconds ago. And this is editing Greg here in June. Um, what had what had happened was I did see Project Hail Mary. That was Sunday. It was phenomenal. I recommend everybody go see I I want to go see it again. It's excellent. My only complaint is that the movie wasn't like four hours long. That it wasn't like a shot to page remake of the book with every all the science, all the random interactions, everything. I just wanted more of it. That's my only complaint. It was It was amazing. It was wonderful. All right, so number three.

[00:32:58]And now we can finally start talking about the books that I enjoyed. Oh, this is also I got tea now because it's evening time. It's the magic of editing.

[00:33:05]Romancing Mr. Bridget. Oh, I should probably Romancing Mr. Bridgetgerton was a really fun read despite romance not being my usual go-to genre. I know that's really shocking looking around here. The last dedicated romance I think I read was a Leverl Spencer book called The Endearment. It's about a girl living in New York and total poverty and answers a mail orderer bride ad for a guy living out west. This is 1800's America frontier setting. The guy in question is a strapping 6 and 1/2 ft tall Swedish lumberjack. And the girl is impoverished, so she's a tiny waif. This was written in 1982, in case you were wondering if these tropes are new. They ain't. More recently, I read another romanty, actually, but a commenter pointed out that nobody calls it that.

[00:33:50]And it was a really good point. It's um this one, Tres of the Emerald Sea. It's a fantasy book set on another planet, but it's primarily a romance. Not just a regular romance either. This is a girl goes on a quest to save the guy romance.

[00:34:05]There are a couple of differences. I I do promise this is leading to the Julia Quinn novel of of this section. First, there's an interesting story going on here. It's a Sanderson book, and he writes interesting stories and magic systems, likely why it's not thought of as a romanty, but fantasy with romance.

[00:34:21]Romanty seems to be a romance with tacked-on fantasy elements. And for me, it I don't know. I think for a lot of people, it connotates like kind of crappy books. But beyond that, Sanderson and Laral Spencer and Julia Quinn all use interesting language. One of the benefits of historical fiction is that if you do even a tiny bit of research, you can adapt the common way of speaking during that time and the modernism's problem is taken care of. But what's even more important than language, and we'll switch fully back to Bridgetgerton now, is that the decisions of the characters and especially their attractions to each other make sense in this, this, Leverl, all of it.

[00:35:02]So here, main character Penelopey has a defined character. She's had a crush on the softspoken Colin Bridgetton since she was a girl, but since they were together all the time, he saw her as like a little sister. But she's also a bit of a wild flower. Wall. Wallflower.

[00:35:18]What is What is wrong with me?

[00:35:20]>> Which is helpful when she's collecting secrets as her alter ego, the mysterious gossip colonist Lady Whistled Down.

[00:35:26]Penelpie's problem is that she lives in a society where being single past like the age of 19 is socially abhorrent and could be an actual death sentence. Her mother is ashamed that she isn't getting married and she can't reveal that she isn't bothered because she's very wealthy from the whistleown thing. On the other hand, Colin is part of the Bridgetton family, who you can probably guess are very important, the series being named after them and all. He's the third brother, though, and he doesn't feel that he has much purpose in life.

[00:35:55]He wants to go on some kind of adventure, make something of himself.

[00:36:00]He's not particularly interested in any of the debutants in town who are being pushed to marry into his wealthy, high- status family. though these two make sense together. Their aims and desires in life make sense. Their reactions to each other make sense. Penelopey wouldn't be chasing some high status rich dude she has no need. Since ladder climbing isn't needed, she picks Colin because he's kind and inquisitive.

[00:36:27]Colin's attraction to Penelopey also makes perfect sense because she's just plain interesting once he gets her talking, unlike a lot of the other air-headed girls. Also, thinking of her as a sister made him see her platonically and he was in the habit of it. Once he catches on that she's into him, he sees her in this brand new light. It's a fun read because their romantic chemistry is excellent and it feels earned. At the same time, though, the drama that ensues when he finds out about her secret alias also makes sense.

[00:36:57]Not only is it socially excunicable ex exccommunicatable offense, his pride is also wounded because she's doing something and he hasn't figured his something out yet. The tension is also coming from something other than the miscommunication trope or the I'm broody and guarded so I couldn't let you in on a very obvious important piece of information trope. Also, if we're comparing the better romance means the sex is better. Hannah Grace is just getting straight to the bon in her thing. Sarah J. Mass is tricking the reader by putting the physical release alongside the plot release. Yaros tried to add drama by breaking furniture and starting a forest fire. It's it's all very very tryhard. Julia Quinn's believable buildup makes for a less cringy sex scene. The characters are likable. The plot is driven by their decisions which are in line with their personal it. This is just a good book.

[00:37:56]Now, finally, the top two spots go to T.

[00:37:59]Kingfisher by process of elimination, and they're really, really great. Those are books one and two of her Saint of Seal series, Paladin's Grace and Paladin's Strength. It's a very close call, but for me, Paladin Strength is my number one because I think the characters are just a tad bit stronger.

[00:38:17]Now, we've talked about bad fantasy, bad romance, and good romance so far, but Kingfisher has written good romance and fantasy in this series, and that's what makes it so fantastic. I I cannot wait to keep reading these. Now, for the fantasy portion, these books strike an excellent balance between two major pitfalls that fantasy often falls into.

[00:38:38]insanely heavy lore and contemporary world with some cliche magic or medieval window dressing that is poorly thought out. The opening lore is effective and exciting here in a world with several gods or saints or demigods or something.

[00:38:54]Each one has adherence that have been blessed in some way. The Saint of Steel imbuss his warriors with a righteous berserker rage that helps them defeat evil while not recklessly killing innocent bystanders. One day, the Saint of Steel dies for unknown reasons, and all of his paladins go into an undirected berserking fit, and most die.

[00:39:15]Then more waste away from depression, being cut off from their god. And now only seven remain, trying to make it one day at a time while working as bodyguards in a different temple that's full of monks and lawyers. It's a great premise that doesn't require the entire world and all of its political systems to be explained to you right away, but also leaves room for growth. Like, who are these other gods that get mentioned from time to time? How do the various temples adherence interact? Do the gods fight? How did the Saint of Steel die?

[00:39:47]We can and do explore some of those questions as the story goes on. Now, just like the world building, the plots are well-paced and explained without a bunch of front-loading. These first two books form a sort of duogy with regard to the mystery that fuels them. And what's great about that mystery is that it works with the characters who are doing most of the driving of the story.

[00:40:09]This is not an and then plot- driven thing. Where some plots are on rails and the mystery is just a bunch of misdirects that only bloat the story.

[00:40:18]This one strikes a great balance or these two I should say. But the real stars of the show are those characters and their interactions. Not only does the plot feel driven by them, but the romances are much more believable and interesting as well. In the first book, Paladin Steven is a quiet guy trying to recover from his dead god, as one does, looking for a new duty in serving the monastery that took them in. The author does a great job avoiding the cliche pitfall of making Steven broody and depressed the entire time as he deals with trauma. He is however hesitant to get romantically involved with Grace because he believes that extreme emotions might set off his berserker mode and he'll kill her and anybody else around. But he doesn't brood about it like the shadow of death in Crescent City. That woman Grace meanwhile is a bit eccentric as she is a perfumer. It's a secretive guild and she ran away from her husband/contract holder/ business partner because he was a cheating jerk.

[00:41:21]She's hesitant to get involved in a new romance because she's jaded. Together, they hunt a murderer. Him because he's a knight and her because she contracts smells, and the murderer leaves a distinct smell. Also, they secretly want to investigate together because they like each other. King Fisher avoids a lot of common tropes here, and it's that's what makes it so refreshing.

[00:41:44]There is no will they, won't they going on. They both want to, will they? But each has a good reason to keep things from getting too serious. Now, what's important and what keeps the book interesting is that their attraction again makes sense based on what we know about the characters and their behaviors. The mysteries are also kept relatively simple. A supernatural killer is on the loose. Got to find them.

[00:42:07]Political intrigue is a foot. Must sort that out. They chase down clues, but it's not a bunch of purposeful dead ends just to pad the run time. It's a great start to the series, but in a wild turn of events. The second book is even better. This one involves Istvan, another of the seven surviving paladins, my favorite by far. Each book centers on one of them, and they get introduced in the previous book. So, book three is going to be about Galen, who we start to get to know in book two. Supposedly, there's going to be seven books. And honestly, that's fine. But it could be eight, nine, I don't care. T, Miss T, Miss King Fisher, just keep writing them. I don't care. But book two is my number one so far because Isfan is a fantastic character in general, but also specifically he's a well-ritten man and that speaks to me. He's much cheerier than Steven. He's a big burly slap you on the back encouraging kind of guy, but also he's very gentle. In the first book, we saw him being an understanding sounding board for Steven, but also giving him some, you know, firm advice when when needed. What really makes Isvan great for me though is that he exemplifies a common male struggle, especially for larger guys, a group that I am a part of. See, while traveling, secretly on a mission to track the killer from the first book, he gets mixed up in some local politics, and the situation is resolved by giving him some of the belongings of a guy who challenged him to a duel and lost. One of those belongings is a nun named Clara. Clara is searching for the other nuns from her convent who were kidnapped, but she got stuck as an indentured servant to the guy who lost the duel. Isvan agrees to help her find the other nuns if he can because he's a super nice guy. Isvan is very attracted to Clara, but he struggles throughout the book because he's desperately trying not to be that guy who takes a compliment as a come- on. He doesn't want to mistake her appreciation for attraction or find out that she felt obligated to sleep with him or something because of the rescue thing. Also, she's a nun and he feels that it would be disrespectful to think of her in a romantic way. He's trying so hard to not misinterpret things or force himself on her accidentally that he ends up missing several very obvious signals. Clara, on the other hand, is attracted to Isvan because he's a big buff knight, but also because he hasn't intimidated her like most guys are. She's a big lady, both tall and thick. And she is also holding back because her relationships in the past have gone south because, I don't know if you guys care about spoilers, she's from a convent of the Lady St. Ursa.

[00:44:46]St. Ursa is her patron saint.

[00:44:51]So, relationships haven't worked out in the past.

[00:44:56]Again, we have King Fisher deafly dodging common stupid tropes and contrivances. These two are not suffering from the standard miscommunication trope where the plot would be shortened by 80% if people just, you know, spoke to each other, but they can't because brooding and trauma and whatever. But here it makes sense and I appreciate a depiction of a man who is struggling with trying not to be perceived as that guy. I really look I I read your books. I want you to read this one to understand me. I want women to read this book and get a sense of the indecision that haunts us every single day as we wonder if our words or actions or just general presence will be misunderstood and then we'll be on a Tik Tok reel about creepy dudes. Now, the real achievement with these two books is characters that aren't just likable, but different. Steven is a gentle guy who keeps himself busy by making socks and keeps grace at arms length because of his past, but not in an effeminite or dark and broody kind of way. Istvan is a big guy who is worried about intimidating women into being with him.

[00:46:01]But that doubt doesn't make him sad and broody, just overly cautious. As you can tell, I'm very tired of broody and grim dark. I recently read Project Hail Mary.

[00:46:11]Oh, I did write about this. I recently read Project Hail Mary to see what the movie might be about, and I loved it.

[00:46:17]It's hopeful and optimistic and just fun. Also, it makes engineering exciting, which is quite the achievement. I've seen folks crapping on Andy Weir's writing, which can be a little millennial, admittedly, especially Grace's internal monologue, but that just goes to show that the pros or tone is only one part of the equation. This book got me invested in the crisis and its solution, in Dr. Grace and Rocky's bromance, in the hurdles they had to keep overcoming. If you can get that, the pros can be forgiven.

[00:46:49]Back to King Fisher's characters, though, Grace is peculiar and jaded to relationships, but doesn't become adorable or Hollywood quirky or a man-hating [ __ ] She's just introverted, just normal introverted.

[00:47:02]Clara is somewhat outgoing, but also held back by her secret, the secret of Ursa.

[00:47:10]She also is not a tiny waif who can count her ribs or her joints come out of socket all the time. All these characters are not only more fleshed out and believable, but also just different from the flat archetypes that have been taking over pop fiction. You should read these unless you don't like explicit sex scenes because unfortunately each does have one or two. I hate it, but there it is. I'm actually going to keep going with this series. I hope that she does write all seven. Book four is going to bring back a side character from book one. That is going to be really cool.

[00:47:42]And I have confidence that King Fischer is going to make me like Galen and whoever his love interest is in book three. Usually, I don't go in for gay stories because they're often poorly told and they don't look anything like straight romance, even when they aren't cringey. They're just it's foreign. I can't really make a lot of connection to that. Mrs. Owen has been running into this a lot because in the book world, sappic romance has been a huge thing for a while in the fantasy scene. That means lesbians, and according to her, they are usually quite high on the cringe meter.

[00:48:13]But I have faith in this author.

[00:48:16]I didn't get to finish my tea. I will. I appreciate you hanging out with me to chat about books for a while. I don't really get to do that very much. I Oh, I recently got some fun stuff from Halfpric Books. It wouldn't be a book video without showing off a book haul.

[00:48:28]Hang on. Check this out. If you never been to Halfpric Books, it's super cool place. You got to go. So, Jim Butcher apparently has a fantasy series and I got the first of three. I just can't.

[00:48:38]The first of three right there.

[00:48:43]I'm put these down. I also got a copy of Catch22, which I have never read and I've always been meaning to. And this one's super cool. Uh, it belonged to Kevin Casey. And Kevin's got like little notes and stuff in the margins, which makes this copy feel even cooler. I'm going to add to that. Oh, also got Mickey 7 from Halfp Price cuz the movie sucked and people told me the book was really good and so I'm going to give that a try and just forget that I ever saw that film Abomination. So that's Half Price. Then I ordered some from Amazon because I couldn't find everything I wanted. I like fantasy books a lot and I keep hearing about Joe Abberi. I've never read any of his stuff. So I picked up the blade itself.

[00:49:22]And I've also never read any Ursula K.

[00:49:24]Gwyn, so I got the dispossessed. Ordered that one just kind of at random. And I have always been wanting to read the CS Lewis sci-fi trilogy. So got that one as well to add to my collection of his other stuff. So I have plenty of reading to do. But what are you reading? Tell me all about it in the comments. I appreciate Oh, hang on. I gotta do the thing. Appreciate you watching.