More Singaporeans staying single for longer due to personal choice, circumstances

Hinzugefügt: 2026-05-04

[00:00:00]Next, we bring you the first of a week-long CNA series on marriage and parenthood as Singapore's total fertility rate reaches record lows.

[00:00:10]Deputy Prime Minister Gan Kim Yong has described it in Parliament as an existential challenge. Attention is now turning to why fewer are marrying and starting families. A growing part of that story begins earlier with more Singaporeans staying single for longer, whether by choice or circumstance.

[00:00:29]Nickol Koh looks at what's driving the shift.

[00:00:34]Traveling the world, spending time with his 95-year-old grandfather, keeping fit, building a career. But ask 32-year-old Bhavan Punjabi when he once thought he would have found his life partner or started a family, around now, to be very honest with you.

[00:00:54]Like many young Singaporean adults, Bhavan is facing a different reality.

[00:00:59]His focus, building stability first before thinking about marriage.

[00:01:05]With high expectations in dating and decisions he feels are shaped by finances, housing, and career, he's taking his time.

[00:01:15]I think love maybe in this current generation might be secondary.

[00:01:21]I think everyone wants to be um the best version of themselves before they put themselves out there in the dating pool. Uh even myself. So, I think um trying to achieve um that best version possible for yourself may also take time for you to get there.

[00:01:41]He's not alone. Some dating agencies say more singles are joining their platforms later.

[00:01:47]Many prioritize their careers first, including women who are now more financially independent. Preferences are shifting, too, with more boxes to tick and some less certain about having children. Yet, the desire to settle down remains even as finding the right partner becomes more challenging as they wait. Okay, it's time to look for a partner, right? And then at that point, chances are they're also looking for someone who is like themselves. So, someone who is also like doing very well, like someone who is like right eligible. But the challenge is that the type of guys that they are looking for are also the type of guys that everybody else is looking for. So, as a result of that, like the supply pool, so-called, is not as high as the demand pool. More Singaporeans are staying single for longer, and the numbers show it. Latest data shows marriages are down 7% year on year.

[00:02:43]The sharpest drop among those aged 25 to 34, once the peak years to settle down.

[00:02:50]At the same time, people are marrying later.

[00:02:53]That delay is spilling into parenthood, too, with fewer choosing to have children or doing so later in life.

[00:03:01]And what's weighing on their minds?

[00:03:03]Changing priorities from careers to personal freedom to caregiving duties, coupled with less societal stigma against those who choose to be unmarried, all on top of already busy lives in Singapore.

[00:03:17]For a lot of young people, they kind of see it as a time management stress. And I think this is something quite different and quite unique to our current day and and age. The stress of that experience is much higher because it takes on greater meaning in your life. And for many people, maybe heightened by our the social norms and also the structural factors in our society, like, you know, BTO, and of course, people also talk about their biological clock. Beyond the numbers, she says what matters is whether Singaporeans can better support relationships and families as expectations evolve. With real trade-offs from careers to lifestyle, many may still choose to hit pause, especially if those ideals feel out of reach.

[00:04:14]But while families are shrinking today, the impact on Singapore's family formation goes much further back in history. Let's take a closer look.

[00:04:26]Singapore once feared having too many babies.

[00:04:29]That anxiety shaped some of its best-known family planning measures, including the stop at two campaign.

[00:04:37]With food shortages, overcrowding, and household finances under strain, volunteers, doctors, and social workers began encouraging smaller families through the Singapore Family Planning Association.

[00:04:50]Even so, the population kept growing. By 1965, Singapore had more than 1.8 million people with around 60,000 babies born each year.

[00:05:01]That same year, family planning became state policy with then Health Minister Yong Nyuk Lin launching a five-year family planning program.

[00:05:11]In 1966, the Singapore Family Planning and Population Board took over the baton, offering family planning supplies and clinical services at low cost.

[00:05:23]Then came the harder push. From the early 1970s, stop at two was promoted through posters and backed by penalties, including higher childbirth fees, reduced tax relief, and lower housing priority for bigger families. Cash incentives were also offered for sterilization.

[00:05:43]Singapore was not alone. Other countries in the region were also trying to control fertility.

[00:05:50]Thailand promoted voluntary family planning, while China would later go much further with its one-child policy.

[00:05:58]Singapore's campaign worked, perhaps too well.

[00:06:02]Fertility fell to replacement level by 1976.

[00:06:07]By the mid-80s, the concern was no longer rapid population growth, but the risk of population decline. By the time the Singapore Family Planning and Population Board was dissolved in 1986, the total fertility rate had dropped to 1.43.

[00:06:26]Then first Deputy Prime Minister Goh Chok Tong called out the repercussions, not just to Singapore's economy and security, but to the nation's very existence.

[00:06:37]We have to pay close attention to the trend and pattern of births because of the consequences on our economic prosperity and security.

[00:06:50]In fact, I would say on the very survival of our nation over the longer term.

[00:06:56]So, the message flipped. In 1987, stop at two gave way to a new call.

[00:07:03]Our new population policy will be have three and more if you can afford it. Penalties were rolled back. Incentives took their place, from tax rebates and childcare support to leave schemes, housing help, and later, the baby bonus.

[00:07:23]Over the past eight decades, Singapore's population story has been one of hard-headed pragmatism and long-term planning. But today, the fear has reversed completely. No longer too many births, but too few.

[00:07:40]And to tell us more about the challenges facing Singapore's family planning policymakers, I'm joined by Professor Pauline Strong, who is a professor of sociology practice at the SMU School of Social Sciences. Professor, great to have you with us. Now, first of all, do you think the changing aspirations of singles are at odds with the population objectives that Singapore is trying to achieve?

[00:08:05]Uh yes and no. I think that at the end of the day, um most young adults aspire to find a soulmate for companionship, if not marriage. But I think urban and modernization and urbanization, right, certainly have pushed us, not just Singapore, you know, all city-states in the world, towards a direction where it is easy to stay single because then, you know, you're free to aspire towards uh different goals. It used to be that getting married and having kids is the mark of adulthood, but those markers have shifted, you know, with modernization.

[00:08:42]You are an adult when you are independent, when you are educated, when you're skilled, when you have a professional career, and you have uh you know, a steady bank account. And that that kind of stability marks adulthood.

[00:08:57]So, these are the contradictions that are inevitable. Mm.

[00:09:02]And and based on that shift of markers, as you say, we're also seeing an increasing proportion of Singaporeans who remain unwed, and they're also not dating. But at the same time, we have studies that show that singles do still aspire to marry and have children. So, why is there this contradiction here? Is there a mismatch of ideals versus reality?

[00:09:26]It's not a contradiction.

[00:09:29]Rather, I think this is an unintended consequence, right, of a valorization of marriage. You know, we've promoted marriage so well that when young adults think of marriage now, the impression of marriage is it has to be a lifelong commitment, and we marry for love. So, you want to find that soulmate before you're willing to commit, right, to this you know, endeavor.

[00:09:57]As result I think that causes many to pause and spouse selection becomes a more challenging endeavor and and therefore we see you know delay in marriage and of course once you delay you know that the age of first marriage then parenthood also takes you know slow down right. And taking a wider look at this issue how does Singapore's marriage and dating statistics stack up against the other countries in the region? Are young adults voicing similar concerns elsewhere as well?

[00:10:32]Certainly if you look at city centers not just in the region but globally I mean this is characteristic of urbanization right? In city centers you find a lot more opportunities particularly for young professionals and young adults. So getting married and family formation is one of many pathways that they can take. So the difference between Singapore and our neighbors is we are unfortunately we are city state.

[00:11:02]So we don't have the numbers from the rural parts of the country to augment the city center statistics and as a result our TFR dropped drastically. Now what are the key factors discouraging as these singles from getting married and having children? Can policy solutions actually address their concerns or is it quite inevitable that the total fertility rate of more developed countries keeps dropping?

[00:11:33]Um I think that by and large we're going to see the emergence of two groups right?

[00:11:44]Uh holistically I think marriage and parent well maybe not parenthood but certainly marriage remains a avail right?

[00:11:56]So there will be those who still aspire to grow family and some to grow large family. So this is the group where you know government policies are very very important because then you know we continue to encourage those who want to to have children and we partner them to the best of their ability. Then there will be a group who by choice or circumstance will remain single right?

[00:12:25]Now on this group we really have to pay a lot more attention.

[00:12:30]We know so little about singles because our attention has been focused on encouraging Singaporeans to get married and have kids right? So when we look at the group of singles the assumption is they are in transition right? We we just have to prepare them and encourage them to move on. But when you look at your statistics the proportion of singles across all age groups has been creeping up. So at the end of the day we expect to see a lot more singles in time to come right?

[00:13:03]Um I think this is inevitable right? In in in a modern city state like ours.

[00:13:09]Professor thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us. That was Professor Pauline Straughan from the SMU School of Social Sciences.