A sophisticated subversion of religious dogma that personifies the Eight Precepts to reveal the grotesque beauty of human desire. It is a rare example of solo animation where philosophical depth and visual imagination are perfectly synchronized.
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SINKING ROAD | Indie Animated Movie
Added: Why the fuck did I think it would be a good idea Why the fuck did I think it would be a good idea to start on a tomato soup without the tomatoes?! to start on a tomato soup without the tomatoes?! Am I actually brain-dead? Am I actually brain-dead? God damn it, Dotty, get your act together! God damn it, Dotty, get your act together! God, I've always hated bridges. God, I've always hated bridges. So unstable! So unstable! Ugh. Ugh. What the fuck is your problem?! What the fuck is your problem?! Oh, your parents didn't pay me back. Oh, your parents didn't pay me back. Now they've had to pay me with your life, you Picasso bitch! Now they've had to pay me with your life, you Picasso bitch! Where am I? Where am I? Am I dead? Am I dead? What is this? What is this? What the fuck happened to my hair? What the fuck happened to my hair? So, you're persistent, huh? So, you're persistent, huh? Well, guess what? Well, guess what? You are not my hair... You are not my hair... And you are getting trimmed! And you are getting trimmed! That didn't work. That didn't work. What is this shit made of? What is this shit made of? Ugh. Ugh. Of course that isn't going to work. Of course that isn't going to work. But more importantly, where the hell am I? But more importantly, where the hell am I? And then I said, "your breath stinks!" And then I said, "your breath stinks!" "Go stuff a turkey!" "Go stuff a turkey!" It was crazy, brother. It was crazy, brother. I really do hate conflicts. I really do hate conflicts. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I see. I see. Interesting story there, brother. Interesting story there, brother. Tell me all about it. Tell me all about it. Wait a sec. Wait a sec. Who's that over there? Who's that over there? Who? Who? Ooh! Ooh! She surely looks like a fun lady! She surely looks like a fun lady! Aw, but poor thing. Aw, but poor thing. She looks like she took a really hard soccer ball to the face! She looks like she took a really hard soccer ball to the face! Let's help her! Let's help her! What the fuck is this place? What the fuck is this place? Scheiße! Scheiße! Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello! Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello! Welcome to the Sinking Road Village! Welcome to the Sinking Road Village! You don't come from here, do you? You don't come from here, do you? Your face would be quite recognizable if you did. Your face would be quite recognizable if you did. Ugh. Ugh. Make it more obvious that I'm hideous, why don't you? Make it more obvious that I'm hideous, why don't you? Anyway, "Sinking Road Village", what is the deal with this place? Anyway, "Sinking Road Village", what is the deal with this place? You're telling me this isn't all just some fucked up dream of mine? You're telling me this isn't all just some fucked up dream of mine? As much as I wish it was a dream, it is in fact not. As much as I wish it was a dream, it is in fact not. Your hair! Your hair! Your dress! Your dress! It's really pretty! It's really pretty! Well then, who even are you two by the way? Well then, who even are you two by the way? I am Epie! I am Epie! Prince Epie! Prince Epie! Prince of Sinking Road. Prince of Sinking Road. This is my brother Narco. This is my brother Narco. Prince Narco! Prince Narco! He's also a prince of Sinking Road. He's also a prince of Sinking Road. We're twins! We're twins! Haha! Haha! Yeah, what he said. Yeah, what he said. Okay, Prince Epie and Prince Narco. Okay, Prince Epie and Prince Narco. I am Dotty Duette. I am Dotty Duette. I guess you'd call me a "surface dweller". I guess you'd call me a "surface dweller". And if I'm being honest, I've been here for just And if I'm being honest, I've been here for just some minutes and already I just want to go home. some minutes and already I just want to go home. And I hate asking this, but could... could you two help me? And I hate asking this, but could... could you two help me? Yes we can! Yes we can! Not really. Not really. Aww... Aww... But our dad can. But our dad can. The king. The king. Well then, I'd like to meet him as soon as possible. Well then, I'd like to meet him as soon as possible. Then follow us! Then follow us! Dad will love you! Dad will love you! We're here. We're here. Hi Dad! Hi Dad! Welcome home, my little muffins! Welcome home, my little muffins! Did I just hear some new footsteps? Did I just hear some new footsteps? Did you bring in a friend? Did you bring in a friend? Yes, Dad! Yes, Dad! This is Dotty! This is Dotty! A surface dweller we found roaming the streets! A surface dweller we found roaming the streets! We didn't quite call her a friend though. We didn't quite call her a friend though. We just met her. We just met her. Oh, so my ears didn't deceive me. Oh, so my ears didn't deceive me. Well, go on friend. Well, go on friend. Say a word, don't be shy. Say a word, don't be shy. Sorry, sir! Sorry, sir! I mean, your majesty, I just didn't know what to expect. I mean, your majesty, I just didn't know what to expect. Your eating manners and your figure is quite large. Your eating manners and your figure is quite large. I enjoy your honesty, Miss Dotty. I enjoy your honesty, Miss Dotty. That is a very good quality to have. That is a very good quality to have. I just hope you're not intimidated by me. I just hope you're not intimidated by me. Oh, and I must say, your footsteps are surprisingly Oh, and I must say, your footsteps are surprisingly harsh, coming from such a sweet sounding lady. harsh, coming from such a sweet sounding lady. I don't expect you to know me by heart, since you are a surfer's dweller. I don't expect you to know me by heart, since you are a surfer's dweller. So, I shall introduce myself. So, I shall introduce myself. I am King Appeticio. I am King Appeticio. I am one of the Eight Buddhist Precepts. I am one of the Eight Buddhist Precepts. The Sixth, to be precise. The Sixth, to be precise. And I promise you, there is absolutely no need to And I promise you, there is absolutely no need to be so formal with me, just because I am the king. be so formal with me, just because I am the king. Just call me Appeticio, and it's a pleasure to meet you. Just call me Appeticio, and it's a pleasure to meet you. Uh, Eight Buddhist what? Uh, Eight Buddhist what? Well, it is a pleasure to see, um, meet you too, your majesty. Well, it is a pleasure to see, um, meet you too, your majesty. Appeticio! Appeticio! Sorry! Sorry! Fuck! Fuck! No, I mean, frick! No, I mean, frick! I... I... Anyway, explain to me what this whole Buddhist pre-things is, if you don't mind! Anyway, explain to me what this whole Buddhist pre-things is, if you don't mind! Curious? Curious? Let me elucidate. Let me elucidate. All Eight of us Precepts were born here thanks to a couple of monks. All Eight of us Precepts were born here thanks to a couple of monks. Who represent a list of eight rules that these monks have set out to follow. Who represent a list of eight rules that these monks have set out to follow. So they summoned us into this world to consume their So they summoned us into this world to consume their desires and therefore break those rules for them. desires and therefore break those rules for them. To put it in simpler terms, we're like... Uh... sponges? To put it in simpler terms, we're like... Uh... sponges? So then, uh, what's your whole deal, your maje-Appeticio? So then, uh, what's your whole deal, your maje-Appeticio? He eats! He eats! Lots. Lots. Well, I suppose I do, huh? Well, I suppose I do, huh? I can't help it. I can't help it. I love food! I love food! It's natural for me! It's natural for me! Plus it is technically for a good cause. Plus it is technically for a good cause. Huh. Huh. Interesting. Interesting. Anyway, Appeticio, I got a request. Anyway, Appeticio, I got a request. I would prefer to go home as soon as possible. I would prefer to go home as soon as possible. Is there any way you can get that road to come back down for me? Is there any way you can get that road to come back down for me? Hmm. Hmm. That may be an issue, Miss Dotty. That may be an issue, Miss Dotty. You see, we precepts built this entire village together and we decided that the You see, we precepts built this entire village together and we decided that the road, which would take surface dwellers here shall arrive at complete random. road, which would take surface dwellers here shall arrive at complete random. So that could take anything from an hour to... maybe years? So that could take anything from an hour to... maybe years? You've got to be shitting my ass! You've got to be shitting my ass! Language, Miss Dotty! Language, Miss Dotty! Also, I'm not done yet. Also, I'm not done yet. I don't think he can do that, Dotty! I don't think he can do that, Dotty! Shut up. Shut up. Please. Please. I can try and find a way to bring it back prematurely, but it may take a while, I can try and find a way to bring it back prematurely, but it may take a while, so... so... Do you wish to stay in the castle and work as a maid for me for the time being? Do you wish to stay in the castle and work as a maid for me for the time being? Uh, a maid? Uh, a maid? Well, fuck a dick. Well, fuck a dick. But, oh well. But, oh well. Makes sense I don't get to live for free. Makes sense I don't get to live for free. Thank you for your hospitality, your ma-Appeticio! Thank you for your hospitality, your ma-Appeticio! Then, that settles it. Then, that settles it. You are a temporary citizen of the Sinking Road Village. You are a temporary citizen of the Sinking Road Village. And the Royal Maid. And the Royal Maid. But! But! Now you've got to keep something in mind. Now you've got to keep something in mind. This place is not all happiness and sunshine. This place is not all happiness and sunshine. Some of the people here, even some of us precepts, have bad blood. Some of the people here, even some of us precepts, have bad blood. And if you don't keep your watch, you might get hurt. And if you don't keep your watch, you might get hurt. So, I've decided two things for you. So, I've decided two things for you. You shall have my sons with you at all times You shall have my sons with you at all times until I am sure you can take care of yourself. until I am sure you can take care of yourself. Yay! Yay! Yippee! Yippee! Oh, you're all too nice... I think. Oh, you're all too nice... I think. But also, I will send you three off to meet Priestess at the church tomorrow. But also, I will send you three off to meet Priestess at the church tomorrow. She's one of us precepts and she's told me she has She's one of us precepts and she's told me she has a very useful ring which I am sure you can borrow. a very useful ring which I am sure you can borrow. I am new here and I'm already being babied around. I am new here and I'm already being babied around. Oh well, will do. Oh well, will do. Follow me then! Follow me then! I shall lead you to your room. I shall lead you to your room. You're starting service today. You're starting service today. Epie and Narco, do me a favor... Epie and Narco, do me a favor... Find and bring her that square apron we got from Glory, alright? Find and bring her that square apron we got from Glory, alright? Aye aye, dad! Aye aye, dad! Aye aye. Aye aye. Whoa, the architecture is all over the place. Whoa, the architecture is all over the place. Oh, sorry, that could be my fault. Oh, sorry, that could be my fault. I decided most of the placement. I decided most of the placement. But it doesn't bother me, after all. But it doesn't bother me, after all. Yeah, I guess it doesn't, huh? Yeah, I guess it doesn't, huh? Wait, what the fuck? Wait, what the fuck? Here we go! Here we go! If I remember correctly, this is the best guest room in the entire castle! If I remember correctly, this is the best guest room in the entire castle! Or at least that's what I've been told. Or at least that's what I've been told. I can't fit through the door myself, though. I can't fit through the door myself, though. You shouldn't trust everything you hear. You shouldn't trust everything you hear. But oh well, better than living on the street. But oh well, better than living on the street. Whoa! Whoa! Do you like it? Do you like it? I... I actually do. I... I actually do. I was deceived. I was deceived. By myself. By myself. We brought the apron! We brought the apron! Such hospitality. Such hospitality. I am so glad you think so. I am so glad you think so. Well then, I will see you in the morning, Dotty! Well then, I will see you in the morning, Dotty! See you in the morning? See you in the morning? Is that what he said? Is that what he said? Eight Buddhist precepts. Eight Buddhist precepts. The Sinking Road. The Sinking Road. I am so confused about all of this... I am so confused about all of this... And... Who is Priestess? And... Who is Priestess? Does any of this even matter? Does any of this even matter? I just want to go home. I just want to go home. Why can't they just, I don't know, bring the road down for me? Why can't they just, I don't know, bring the road down for me? Please. Please. Hey, Dotty! Hey, Dotty! Oh god! Oh god! Stop scaring me! Stop scaring me! Oh, sorry! Oh, sorry! Are you going to bed? Are you going to bed? Soon, yes. Soon, yes. Alright. Alright. And, um, just so you know, Scissors isn't really And, um, just so you know, Scissors isn't really the most painless method of getting out of here. the most painless method of getting out of here. You know? You know? I wasn't going to- I wasn't going to- Good night. Good night. Night-Good! Night-Good! Did you hear that? Did you hear that? I said it backwards! I said it backwards! That was funny! That was funny! It was funny, right? It was funny, right? I probably made her laugh! I probably made her laugh! That is my crown! That is my crown! Come back! Come back! Or I will do something terrible! Or I will do something terrible! And what might that be, my dearest brother? And what might that be, my dearest brother? I will... cry. I will... cry. Ahh! Ahh! Appeticio! Appeticio! Excuse my language, but what the fuck is this? Excuse my language, but what the fuck is this? Oh? Oh? What is what, Dotty? What is what, Dotty? There's food everywhere! There's food everywhere! It's a freaking mess! It's a freaking mess! Oh, I see. Oh, I see. Well then, you've got to clean it up, Ms. Dotty! Well then, you've got to clean it up, Ms. Dotty! But this was spot free last night! But this was spot free last night! No normal person could or should eat this much in one sitting! No normal person could or should eat this much in one sitting! I am so sorry. I am so sorry. Due to my precept, I am terribly hungry at all times. Due to my precept, I am terribly hungry at all times. I'll try and relax my eating from now on. I'll try and relax my eating from now on. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Instincts! Instincts! No need. No need. I'll just clean up. I'll just clean up. You are incredibly kind, Ms. Dotty! You are incredibly kind, Ms. Dotty! Bless your mortal soul! Bless your mortal soul! Just do not eat while I clean! Just do not eat while I clean! Understood. Understood. Hmph! Hmph! So, wait. So, wait. If there's eight of you, how did it get decided that you'd be king? If there's eight of you, how did it get decided that you'd be king? It wasn't decided exactly. It wasn't decided exactly. Once we precepts were done building the village, we realized we didn't have a ruler. Once we precepts were done building the village, we realized we didn't have a ruler. So we started fighting for the throne. So we started fighting for the throne. Huh? Huh? That seems like something that should be planned first. That seems like something that should be planned first. But wait, and YOU won? But wait, and YOU won? That's scary. That's scary. Well, scary. Well, scary. I hope not. I hope not. I don't ever want to harm anyone, just felt I I don't ever want to harm anyone, just felt I needed to protect the throne from any bad hands. needed to protect the throne from any bad hands. Plus, most of them don't mind me being king now. Plus, most of them don't mind me being king now. I've been king for thirty years after all. I've been king for thirty years after all. But there's still someone who- But there's still someone who- Done! Done! Whoa! Whoa! That was quick! That was quick! Thank you so much, Ms. Dotty! Thank you so much, Ms. Dotty! You'll know if I messed up if you feel some stuff under your soles. You'll know if I messed up if you feel some stuff under your soles. Unless that's just your giant body accidentally crushing me, which is very possible. Unless that's just your giant body accidentally crushing me, which is very possible. Hey, Dad! Hey, Dad! And Dotty! And Dotty! Can we go go GO to the Priestess now, please? Can we go go GO to the Priestess now, please? To Priestess, please? To Priestess, please? Go right ahead, you three. Go right ahead, you three. Have fun and be careful. Have fun and be careful. Do not make a mess while I'm gone. Do not make a mess while I'm gone. No promises! No promises! I wish I didn't need to go. I wish I didn't need to go. Alright, let's go! Alright, let's go! Yay! Yay! Priestess, Priestess, Priestess, Priestess, Priestess! Priestess, Priestess, Priestess, Priestess, Priestess! We're here! We're here! A pink church? A pink church? Odd. Odd. Um, what's up with you? Um, what's up with you? Epie has the hots for Priestess. Epie has the hots for Priestess. Just ignore him. Just ignore him. Why, hello, your majesties. Why, hello, your majesties. And who are you, sweetie? And who are you, sweetie? I am Dotty. I am Dotty. Dotty Duette. Dotty Duette. Excuse me for asking, but aren't you meant to be a priest? Excuse me for asking, but aren't you meant to be a priest? Oh, you're looking at my body? Oh, you're looking at my body? Why, yes, I am a priest, but not the traditional kind. Why, yes, I am a priest, but not the traditional kind. Yes, my name is Priestess. Yes, my name is Priestess. I am the third Precept. I am the third Precept. "You shall undertake the rule of abstinence from unchastity". "You shall undertake the rule of abstinence from unchastity". Is what mine states! Is what mine states! Oh, God. Oh, God. Well then, Miss Dotty. Well then, Miss Dotty. What a beautiful name for a beautiful girl. What a beautiful name for a beautiful girl. What is it you're here for? What is it you're here for? Some cleansing? Some cleansing? I am not going to fuck you. I am not going to fuck you. We are here for a ring or something. We are here for a ring or something. King Appeticio mentioned it would help me or something. King Appeticio mentioned it would help me or something. Oh, you mean this? Oh, you mean this? Ooh, a ruby? Ooh, a ruby? Better. Better. It's an alexandrite ring. It's an alexandrite ring. And it's a special one. And it's a special one. It's normally in a completely teal-colored state. It's normally in a completely teal-colored state. Unless you're close to one of the eight precepts. Unless you're close to one of the eight precepts. Then it turns a mighty red. Then it turns a mighty red. And it gets redder the closer you are to one of us. And it gets redder the closer you are to one of us. Isn't that cute? Isn't that cute? Well, damn. Well, damn. I guess so. I guess so. Nuh-uh-uh. Nuh-uh-uh. I am not letting you borrow this that easily. I am not letting you borrow this that easily. It's a treasured item after all. It's a treasured item after all. Then what do you want for it? Then what do you want for it? I have no money. I have no money. I don't want money, silly. I don't want money, silly. No, no. No, no. I told you, I'M not doing that! I told you, I'M not doing that! Hey, Priestess! Hey, Priestess! Have I ever told you that I find you beautiful and amazing and perfect and cute? Have I ever told you that I find you beautiful and amazing and perfect and cute? Aww, your majesty. Aww, your majesty. You're such a prince charming. You're such a prince charming. Oh, thank you! Beautiful! Oh, thank you! Beautiful! He shall be my payment. He shall be my payment. I will hand him back over later, but in the meanwhile, you've earned this, darling. I will hand him back over later, but in the meanwhile, you've earned this, darling. Ah, thank you. Ah, thank you. Now then, you fucking weirdos have fun. Now then, you fucking weirdos have fun. We will take a leave now. We will take a leave now. Bye! Bye! Phew! Phew! God, I hated that. God, I hated that. But at least I got this now. But at least I got this now. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. It is what it does, after all. It is what it does, after all. Not that impressive. Not that impressive. I got a question, Narco... I got a question, Narco... Make it short. Make it short. I noticed that you and your brother look nothing like your dad. I noticed that you and your brother look nothing like your dad. Are you two- Are you two- Adopted? Adopted? Yes, but not in the traditional way. Yes, but not in the traditional way. Huh? Huh? Elaborate? Elaborate? I'll keep it short, because I'm tired. I'll keep it short, because I'm tired. Our dad told us that 20 years ago, while he was out walking one day, Our dad told us that 20 years ago, while he was out walking one day, he heard the cries of a baby at the gates. he heard the cries of a baby at the gates. So, he went to check it out. So, he went to check it out. There were actually two of us, but I wasn't really a crier. There were actually two of us, but I wasn't really a crier. Anyhow, we were completely soaked and wrapped in a cloth, so my dad's theory is Anyhow, we were completely soaked and wrapped in a cloth, so my dad's theory is that we were intentionally thrown into the waters to drown. that we were intentionally thrown into the waters to drown. But got saved by the road, miraculously. But got saved by the road, miraculously. What the-Who the fuck does that? What the-Who the fuck does that? I don't know. I don't know. Never met them, after all. Never met them, after all. Anyway, so our dad took us in, and essentially saved our lives. Anyway, so our dad took us in, and essentially saved our lives. And I thought I was unlucky. And I thought I was unlucky. Hm, or was it luck, actually? Hm, or was it luck, actually? Hm? Hm? Is there a precept around? Is there a precept around? Oh, uh, in there. Oh, uh, in there. It's a... personal friend of mine. It's a... personal friend of mine. Well, goddamn. Well, goddamn. We do have time to spare. We do have time to spare. No, Tipsy. No, Tipsy. That's... that's gasoline. That's... that's gasoline. Ouch! Ouch! Are those Dwingles? Are those Dwingles? God, I hate this! God, I hate this! Uh, hello? Uh, hello? Oh fuck, I'm sorry. Oh fuck, I'm sorry. There was just so much crap around. There was just so much crap around. Hm, it's not crap. Hm, it's not crap. Pillows are important for sleeping. Pillows are important for sleeping. You can never have enough pillows, just like... You can never have enough pillows, just like... ...how you can't have enough sleep. ...how you can't have enough sleep. Hello, Narco. Hello, Narco. Hello, Snoozie. Hello, Snoozie. This is Dotty, a surface dweller. This is Dotty, a surface dweller. Oh, that's why she looks confused. Oh, that's why she looks confused. I am Snoozie, the, uh... I am Snoozie, the, uh... ...e-e-eighth-eighth precept. ...e-e-eighth-eighth precept. I am so tired. I am so tired. But, I like Dwingles. But, I like Dwingles. She sleeps worse than me. She sleeps worse than me. Sixteen hours a day, at minimum. Sixteen hours a day, at minimum. Huh? Huh? Sixteen hours? Sixteen hours? One time, I worried all the other precepts. One time, I worried all the other precepts. Because I slept for an entire week. Because I slept for an entire week. It was crazy, and kind of funny. It was crazy, and kind of funny. It made me laugh. It made me laugh. Uh, anyway, what's up with your face, Dotty? Uh, anyway, what's up with your face, Dotty? What about it, huh? What about it, huh? Look, quiet down, please. Look, quiet down, please. It was just an observation. It was just an observation. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Just gotten used to resorting to anger with this fucking thing. Just gotten used to resorting to anger with this fucking thing. Oh, a sensitive spot. Oh, a sensitive spot. Well, yeah. Well, yeah. Been picked on a lot for it. Been picked on a lot for it. I was hit by a car as a toddler, and that's how I got bound to this shit. I was hit by a car as a toddler, and that's how I got bound to this shit. I don't understand. I don't understand. What did I do wrong? What did I do wrong? Oh, there, there. Oh, there, there. It's okay to cry. It's okay to cry. I see your relaxing' odor is working. I see your relaxing' odor is working. Don't break the moment, Narco. Don't break the moment, Narco. Please, just come and lay down. Please, just come and lay down. Actually, it does smell nice here. Actually, it does smell nice here. Wait, wait, did we doze off? Wait, wait, did we doze off? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That smell from me and my room makes people sleepy. That smell from me and my room makes people sleepy. Sorry. Sorry. Five more minutes or years. Five more minutes or years. Or millennia, please. Or millennia, please. No, we need to go and get your brother. No, we need to go and get your brother. I'm gonna eat Dwingles. I'm gonna eat Dwingles. You two can leave. You two can leave. Thanks for the company. Thanks for the company. Thank you for letting me release some thoughts. Thank you for letting me release some thoughts. I do this all the time with the others. I do this all the time with the others. Like a, like a precept therapist. Like a, like a precept therapist. You know, I should get paid. You know, I should get paid. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. Bye. Bye. Bye bye, hun. Bye bye, hun. Hee hee hee hee. Hee hee hee hee. Bye. Bye. Oh, hi guys. Oh, hi guys. Hee hee hee hee. Hee hee hee hee. We don't want to hear about it. We don't want to hear about it. It's getting late now. It's getting late now. Do you suppose we should go home? Do you suppose we should go home? Anything to get away from the nightmares that church will bring me. Anything to get away from the nightmares that church will bring me. It'll bring me dreams, personally. It'll bring me dreams, personally. So, I've met three precepts so far. So, I've met three precepts so far. How many were there again? How many were there again? Seven? Seven? No, eight? No, eight? Oh well, let's see. Oh well, let's see. So far, one likes food, one likes to sleep, and one likes to... So far, one likes food, one likes to sleep, and one likes to... Uh... Epie? Uh... Epie? Narco? Narco? Where the fuck did you go? Where the fuck did you go? Epie! Epie! Narco! Narco! Holy fuck! Holy fuck! I can't go back to the castle without them. I can't go back to the castle without them. Obviously! Obviously! Huh? Huh? Hello there, madam! Hello there, madam! Need help? Need help? Uh... sure. Uh... sure. Um, I'm looking for the princes. Um, I'm looking for the princes. You know, the lanky triangular ones. You know, the lanky triangular ones. Oh, them? Oh, them? Well, golly gee!! Well, golly gee!! I saw them not too far away from here. I saw them not too far away from here. Just follow me, miss. Just follow me, miss. There they are! There they are! Oh my god, it got stuck again! Oh my god, it got stuck again! Let me guess. Let me guess. It's not the first time you've said that today. It's not the first time you've said that today. Oh, thank you so much, sir. Oh, thank you so much, sir. Have a nice day. Have a nice day. There you are! There you are! Where did you two go? Where did you two go? Epie got distracted because he wanted a snack. Epie got distracted because he wanted a snack. And I got orders from dad to always follow my brother. And I got orders from dad to always follow my brother. He's unpredictable. He's unpredictable. Dotty! Dotty! Please help me, I'm stuck! Please help me, I'm stuck! There! There! Wait, huh? Wait, huh? Looks interesting. Looks interesting. It's just in some hour. It's just in some hour. Do you two wanna go while we're here? Do you two wanna go while we're here? Yes, yes, yes, yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes! I love plays! I love plays! No, you don't. No, you don't. Ohoo, sorry, Mickey! Ohoo, sorry, Mickey! But personally, I do think I deserve a plaque for that one! But personally, I do think I deserve a plaque for that one! That was pretty funny! That was pretty funny! Why aren't you laughing? Why aren't you laughing? Oh, right, you're DEAD! Oh, right, you're DEAD! Oh, Appeticio! Oh, Appeticio! I'm coming for you! I'm coming for you! You big, blue BURDEN, you! You big, blue BURDEN, you! Oh, but mother, why can't I two go to the ball and dance with the young handsome man Oh, but mother, why can't I two go to the ball and dance with the young handsome man there instead of staying at home and clearing garbage like a stray? there instead of staying at home and clearing garbage like a stray? Thank you all for coming to my play! Thank you all for coming to my play! And a little extra before you go. And a little extra before you go. The tip jar and merchandise is in the front. The tip jar and merchandise is in the front. You know it would mean the universe to me if you all went and contributed with You know it would mean the universe to me if you all went and contributed with something to show your true gratitude for my craft and the more the merrier! something to show your true gratitude for my craft and the more the merrier! And one last thing. And one last thing. If you so happen to be a surface dweller, I'd love for If you so happen to be a surface dweller, I'd love for you to stay put in your seats until everyone has left. you to stay put in your seats until everyone has left. It's important! It's important! Now see you all in the next one! Now see you all in the next one! Toodaloo! Toodaloo! Psst! Psst! Narco! Narco! Narco! Narco! Huh? Huh? What the fuck? What the fuck? Where am I? Where am I? Do you know who that blonde actress lady is? Do you know who that blonde actress lady is? I think she made my ring go red. I think she made my ring go red. I... I didn't watch. I... I didn't watch. I could care less. I could care less. Wait. Wait. Blonde hair? Blonde hair? Actress? Actress? Precept? Precept? I know her. I know her. She's... She's... Let me introduce myself, princess! Let me introduce myself, princess! Ahahahaha! Ahahahaha! You like it? You like it? It's only fit for the best actress on Dwurm. It's only fit for the best actress on Dwurm. Anyway... I'm the one and only... Anyway... I'm the one and only... Stagefrighter Goldilocks! Stagefrighter Goldilocks! And your priceless ring isn't deceiving you, miss. And your priceless ring isn't deceiving you, miss. I am, in fact, a precept. I am, in fact, a precept. The second one... The second one... Your precept involves greed. Your precept involves greed. I know because you've stolen from Dad many times. I know because you've stolen from Dad many times. It was her! It was her! How are you still surprised by that? How are you still surprised by that? Well, Yeah! Well, Yeah! I deserve them more! I deserve them more! And not only that, you flea! And not only that, you flea! But I also find use from them! But I also find use from them! In my bag of riches! In my bag of riches! So, what do you want? So, what do you want? I'd rather leave than put up with your attitude. I'd rather leave than put up with your attitude. Unless you got something good for us. Unless you got something good for us. Hmph! Hmph! The sass! The sass! I want that ring! I want that ring! This thing? This thing? I can't give it to you! I can't give it to you! I borrowed it from Priestess! I borrowed it from Priestess! I know you did! I know you did! And she stole it from me! And she stole it from me! I mean, that slutty slut never wears any expensive jewelry anyway! I mean, that slutty slut never wears any expensive jewelry anyway! And that's all the proof I need! And that's all the proof I need! So... Would you be a dear and give it back to its rightful owner? So... Would you be a dear and give it back to its rightful owner? Pretty please? Pretty please? I literally just heard Narco describing you as a greedy bitch! I literally just heard Narco describing you as a greedy bitch! But go ahead! But go ahead! Be one to talk! Be one to talk! What the fuck did you just call me, long face?! What the fuck did you just call me, long face?! Oh, I've had it with you now! Oh, I've had it with you now! Ooh! Ooh! I love this play! I love this play! With the way you look, I honestly thought you'd play as a part of the evil stepmom! With the way you look, I honestly thought you'd play as a part of the evil stepmom! How dare you! How dare you! I am beautiful! I am beautiful! My face makes money! My face makes money! I'll have you know! I'll have you know! I am the queen of thieving- I am the queen of thieving- Ow! Ow! You know what? You know what? I am so tired of you! I am so tired of you! You little shit! You little shit! A ugly creature like you isn't allowed near my perfect presence! A ugly creature like you isn't allowed near my perfect presence! Know your place... Know your place... ...Or fall stone cold dead! ...Or fall stone cold dead! Will you?! Will you?! Huh? Huh? That ain't good. That ain't good. Huh? Huh? Oh, you little shit! Oh, you little shit! We're bolting! We're bolting! Here we go! Here we go! I will sell all your puny mortal organs! I will sell all your puny mortal organs! The money belongs to me! The money belongs to me! ONLY ME! ONLY ME! You've got nowhere to run now! You've got nowhere to run now! A mortal can never defeat a precept! A mortal can never defeat a precept! So, why don't you just hand me everything you got? So, why don't you just hand me everything you got? Or so help me! Or so help me! I'll rip you apart! I'll rip you apart! Uh-huh! Uh-huh! Scared, huh? Scared, huh? I could easily guess your weakness, princess! I could easily guess your weakness, princess! Please! Please! Don't cut my hair! Don't cut my hair! It's priceless! It's priceless! Then you better leave us alone, you crazy bitch! Then you better leave us alone, you crazy bitch! Fine. Fine. Fine! Fine! It's not like it matters! It's not like it matters! KI-TOON will kill you anyways! KI-TOON will kill you anyways! Uh... who's KI-TOON? Uh... who's KI-TOON? The first precept! The first precept! Serial killer! Serial killer! But most importantly, I'd say... I'm in debt to him! But most importantly, I'd say... I'm in debt to him! Let me guess, you tried to steal something from him? Let me guess, you tried to steal something from him? He didn't need that old thing anyway! He didn't need that old thing anyway! The only thing that knife of his has is his reputation! The only thing that knife of his has is his reputation! And I need that for my bank! And I need that for my bank! Hm? Hm? Oh well! Oh well! Goodbye, Miss Precept! Goodbye, Miss Precept! My name is Goldilocks! My name is Goldilocks! And if I see your face again, I will rip it off! And if I see your face again, I will rip it off! I've done nothing wrong! I've done nothing wrong! KI-TOON? KI-TOON? Who is that? Who is that? I'll ask the king tomorrow. I'll ask the king tomorrow. Where are you going? Where are you going? After that encounter, I need a drink. After that encounter, I need a drink. Just head back without me. Just head back without me. I'll be there soon. I'll be there soon. But dad said that... But dad said that... We can't go in there anyway, brother. We can't go in there anyway, brother. We're a year off. We're a year off. We'll see her later anyway. We'll see her later anyway. Bakaan roone dire doree, duree, damma noon! Bakaan roone dire doree, duree, damma noon! Bakaan roone dime dome, dene dene dimme dei! Bakaan roone dime dome, dene dene dimme dei! Well, alright-y then. Well, alright-y then. Hail, Queen Tipsy! Hail, Queen Tipsy! Queen of the Bar! Queen of the Bar! Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Hail, Queen Tipsy! Hail, Queen Tipsy! It feels so great to be me! It feels so great to be me! What the fuck? What the fuck? You've got to be fucking kidding me! You've got to be fucking kidding me! Hey! Hey! You! You! Shut the fuck up! Shut the fuck up! We're doing our daily praise me session! We're doing our daily praise me session! Either join in, or fuck off! Either join in, or fuck off! More importantly, you cannot drink! More importantly, you cannot drink! And why not? And why not? Because you are very clearly a child! Because you are very clearly a child! I am no... I am no... I am no... I am no damn child! I am no... I am no damn child! I am as old as the other precepts! I am as old as the other precepts! I am Tipsy Stoli! I am Tipsy Stoli! I don't care if I look or think like a child! I don't care if I look or think like a child! I can do whatever the fuck I want! I can do whatever the fuck I want! That still matters. That still matters. Please... Please... Ma'am... Ma'am... Give them back! Give them back! Please! Please! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Why should I? Why should I? You're just going to drink again, Tipsy! You're just going to drink again, Tipsy! Please! Please! Fine. Fine. See? See? It is alright for me to drink! It is alright for me to drink! It's like a Pathilogia told me! It's like a Pathilogia told me! It still isn't, you crazy child! It still isn't, you crazy child! And I will find this Pathilogia and tell him off for lying! And I will find this Pathilogia and tell him off for lying! He wasn't lying! He wasn't lying! He was telling me the truth! He was telling me the truth! He told me so! He told me so! Well, kiddo. Well, kiddo. I'm going back to the castle now. I'm going back to the castle now. It's past your bedtime. It's past your bedtime. I don't have a bedtime! I don't have a bedtime! HEY! I am Big!! HEY! I am Big!! I am the Big, Strong Bar Queen after all! I am the Big, Strong Bar Queen after all! I really hate kids. I really hate kids. Dotty! Dotty! Good morning! Good morning! Did you sleep well? Did you sleep well? How was yesterday? How was yesterday? Good morning, Appeticio. Good morning, Appeticio. I slept alright. I slept alright. And it was okay, I guess. And it was okay, I guess. I met a couple of you precepts. I met a couple of you precepts. Priestess, Snoozie, Goldilocks, and Tipsy Stoli. Priestess, Snoozie, Goldilocks, and Tipsy Stoli. Oh my! Oh my! A lot of mixed feelings, I assume. A lot of mixed feelings, I assume. Yeah. Yeah. And I... And I... Want a cracker? Want a cracker? Oh! Oh! Thanks! Thanks! Mmm! Mmm! This is good! This is good! Anyway, I was going to ask... Anyway, I was going to ask... A cake too? A cake too? A pistachio? A pistachio? Oh no, no, no more now. Oh no, no, no more now. I need to ask a question. I need to ask a question. Yesterday, when we met... Yesterday, when we met... Goldilocks... She went on and on about this... Serial killer, I think. Goldilocks... She went on and on about this... Serial killer, I think. So... Who is "KI-TOON"? So... Who is "KI-TOON"? Oh... Oh... He's a terrible man. He's a terrible man. You see, you're right about him being a serial killer. You see, you're right about him being a serial killer. Specifically, he's the first precept. Specifically, he's the first precept. And he has to take life to prevent the monks from feeling that desire. And he has to take life to prevent the monks from feeling that desire. But he does it with pleasure... But he does it with pleasure... And he also tries to go for fellow precepts. And he also tries to go for fellow precepts. And since I am the king, and he desires the throne... I am his main target. And since I am the king, and he desires the throne... I am his main target. Well, fuck. Well, fuck. I hope it's okay to ask, but... Do you know anything about his appearance? I hope it's okay to ask, but... Do you know anything about his appearance? I don't know the details, sadly. I don't know the details, sadly. But I do know that he is bald, long, and lanky. But I do know that he is bald, long, and lanky. With a huge head... Huge, very loud feet... Huge hands... With a huge head... Huge, very loud feet... Huge hands... But a thin structure overall. But a thin structure overall. Can't give you colors or outfits, though. Can't give you colors or outfits, though. Thin... Thin... Big... Bald head... Big... Bald head... KI-... KI-... TOON... Ugh! TOON... Ugh! WAIT! WAIT! Woah! Woah! Hey! Hey! That's loud! That's loud! You don't think you could have explained it sooner? You don't think you could have explained it sooner? I met him! I met him! I could have died! I could have died! I am sorry. I am sorry. I didn't think you'd understand my description of him. I didn't think you'd understand my description of him. And that's why I've had my boys come with you. And that's why I've had my boys come with you. To spot him. To spot him. And to get you away. And to get you away. They got distracted when I met him! They got distracted when I met him! My life was on the line! My life was on the line! I can't wait to go home so I don't have to deal with this bullshit! I can't wait to go home so I don't have to deal with this bullshit! Serial killers wandering free in a small village! Serial killers wandering free in a small village! Insanity! Insanity! I... I... I know someone that can help you stay safe. I know someone that can help you stay safe. Huh? Huh? Mr. Glory. Mr. Glory. The seventh precept. The seventh precept. He has a talent for craftsmanship and has made weapons in the past. He has a talent for craftsmanship and has made weapons in the past. He lives in a high tower. He lives in a high tower. It's somewhere close to the castle. It's somewhere close to the castle. I'll take a chance. I'll take a chance. I will go there. I will go there. Before I go. Before I go. Thank you, Appeticio. Thank you, Appeticio. And also, I cleaned the floor. And also, I cleaned the floor. Just watch out for the broom if you stand up, okay? Just watch out for the broom if you stand up, okay? I really hope she decides to stay. I really hope she decides to stay. She's got a good heart. She's got a good heart. I hear you, KI-TOON. I hear you, KI-TOON. Ah, shucks! Ah, shucks! And it was the most quiet I've ever been! And it was the most quiet I've ever been! Oh, well! Oh, well! Bet I scared ya! Bet I scared ya! KI-TOON, you're probably the loudest of all of us precepts. KI-TOON, you're probably the loudest of all of us precepts. Also, you never use your knife. Also, you never use your knife. Even louder than my pawn Goldilocks? Even louder than my pawn Goldilocks? Well, golly gosh darn! Well, golly gosh darn! Gotta get new shoes! Gotta get new shoes! There! There! Like em? Like em? I can't see, KI-TOON. I can't see, KI-TOON. And you know that quite well. And you know that quite well. Well, then you're missing out! Well, then you're missing out! Anywho, that little maid of yours... Is she a friend? Anywho, that little maid of yours... Is she a friend? Do not worry, your digest-y! Do not worry, your digest-y! I won't hurt her! I won't hurt her! I mean, it won't be much of a benefit to kill her... once you're all out of sight! I mean, it won't be much of a benefit to kill her... once you're all out of sight! Let my hammer masticate ya! Let my hammer masticate ya! That was my own fault! That was my own fault! I take all the blame for that slip-up! I take all the blame for that slip-up! It just hurts, KI-TOON. It just hurts, KI-TOON. It hurts that you don't want to get along. It hurts that you don't want to get along. We're brothers, are we not? We're brothers, are we not? Is that so? Is that so? Then how about I check and see if we're Blood related? Then how about I check and see if we're Blood related? One giant piece of ham coming right up! One giant piece of ham coming right up! Right? Right? KI-TOON... You may be the strongest precept. KI-TOON... You may be the strongest precept. Yes! Yes! And you can most likely end me. And you can most likely end me. Yes. Yes. But the thing that holds you back... is your immense stupidity! But the thing that holds you back... is your immense stupidity! One small portion of hot dog & eggs... One small portion of hot dog & eggs... coming right up! coming right up! I am not an hot dog or an egg! I am not an hot dog or an egg! You stupid fucking... You stupid fucking... My head's all scrambled! My head's all scrambled! What a sweep! What a sweep! And I thought I had it all in the bag now! And I thought I had it all in the bag now! Wait... A sweep? Wait... A sweep? This gives me an idea! This gives me an idea! Getting rid of his newfound lady friend will surely weaken him! Getting rid of his newfound lady friend will surely weaken him! Poor Appeticio will swallow his heart down to his stomach! Poor Appeticio will swallow his heart down to his stomach! And then my body will swallow him! And then my body will swallow him! Where the fuck did you go now? Where the fuck did you go now? Do they want me to look for their asses? Do they want me to look for their asses? Scheiße! Scheiße! Hmm... I am not fond of the extreme asymmetry of your outfit. Hmm... I am not fond of the extreme asymmetry of your outfit. It seems quite useless. It seems quite useless. Not only that, but the hues of your green and pink blend far too much. Not only that, but the hues of your green and pink blend far too much. And it would look much less hideous if one was darker than the other. And it would look much less hideous if one was darker than the other. Oh, and the purple bits don't help your case. Oh, and the purple bits don't help your case. What the hell are you talking about? What the hell are you talking about? And who are you? And who are you? Oh, how impolite of me. Oh, how impolite of me. Let me introduce myself. Let me introduce myself. I am Mr. Glory, the seventh precept. I am Mr. Glory, the seventh precept. And a jeweler, inventor, singer, dancer and musician. And a jeweler, inventor, singer, dancer and musician. All of top class. All of top class. Oh, you were the guy I was looking for! Oh, you were the guy I was looking for! I was? I was? I mean, of course! I mean, of course! Just follow me! Just follow me! Whoa! Whoa! This is... fancy! This is... fancy! Just sit down and we'll discuss further. Just sit down and we'll discuss further. Ow! Ow! Do not touch that! Do not touch that! Ahem. Ahem. Anyway, what is your name and what is it that you need, madam? Anyway, what is your name and what is it that you need, madam? Well, first of all, I'm Dotty. Well, first of all, I'm Dotty. Nice to meet you! Nice to meet you! Second of all, I am a bit more than terrified of this KI-TOON guy. Second of all, I am a bit more than terrified of this KI-TOON guy. And King Appeticio told me I could come to you for help. And King Appeticio told me I could come to you for help. Like, with a weapon or something? Like, with a weapon or something? A weapon to protect you from KI-TOON, hmm? A weapon to protect you from KI-TOON, hmm? I've got one in mind then, if you wish to see. I've got one in mind then, if you wish to see. What in the flying fuck? What in the flying fuck? Hm? Hm? What in the what now? What in the what now? Your body! Your body! How do you not feel that? How do you not feel that? Hm? Hm? Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Let me explain. Let me explain. As you can see, I know what is best in terms of style and all. As you can see, I know what is best in terms of style and all. Even the necessary beauty modifications. Even the necessary beauty modifications. But... But... Why? Why? Don't want to run into the risk of it growing. Don't want to run into the risk of it growing. So why not remove that possibility altogether- So why not remove that possibility altogether- Oof! Oof! Come back here, you asshole! Come back here, you asshole! You simply cannot function on your own! You simply cannot function on your own! Anyway, you were calling for a couple of twins before you entered here. Anyway, you were calling for a couple of twins before you entered here. Were you referring to the princes? Were you referring to the princes? Uh, yes. Uh, yes. How so? How so? Oh, the twins. Oh, the twins. Oh, the twins. Oh, the twins. They're so fun. They're so fun. And not only that, but they're my one chance of getting the throne. And not only that, but they're my one chance of getting the throne. You see, if I marry one of the boys, I'll be king along You see, if I marry one of the boys, I'll be king along with them once my good friend Appeticio steps down. with them once my good friend Appeticio steps down. It's smart, isn't it? It's smart, isn't it? No fight or conflict involved. No fight or conflict involved. Only the power of sweet gay love. Only the power of sweet gay love. And I would say I am quite proud of my homosexuality. And I would say I am quite proud of my homosexuality. I guess that's... innovative. I guess that's... innovative. But what do you want me to do about it? But what do you want me to do about it? Well, I figured it would be fair that in exchange of you borrowing this puppy, Well, I figured it would be fair that in exchange of you borrowing this puppy, you let me just have them for my own short while. you let me just have them for my own short while. I want to show them my new creations and my new dance. I want to show them my new creations and my new dance. They'll be oh so impressed. They'll be oh so impressed. What do you say? What do you say? Sounds good to me. Sounds good to me. Very well! Very well! All these gems are included in case you lose the one attached to the tip. All these gems are included in case you lose the one attached to the tip. You could try and stack them to make it deadlier, but I wouldn't recommend it. You could try and stack them to make it deadlier, but I wouldn't recommend it. Since you're inexperienced. Since you're inexperienced. Ow! My fucking face! Someone call my dad! Ow! My fucking face! Someone call my dad! Oh Well, that'll be fine. Oh Well, that'll be fine. Just fine. Just fine. They're here! They're here! Let's go, go, go! Let's go, go, go! Hello, your majesties! Hello, your majesties! Hi, Mr. Glory! Hi, Mr. Glory! I see you've got a weapon. I see you've got a weapon. Yeah, it's cool, right? Yeah, it's cool, right? Yes, I made it. Yes, I made it. Want to come and see more cool stuff? Want to come and see more cool stuff? I've got lots of things to show. I've got lots of things to show. I love cool stuff! I love cool stuff! Come on in! Come on in! Come, come! Come, come! I guess you can survive on your own now. I guess you can survive on your own now. Right, Dotty? Right, Dotty? I hope so. I hope so. Well then, see ya'. Well then, see ya'. I feel like I'm slowly losing my mind here. I feel like I'm slowly losing my mind here. Oh well, at least most of them mean well, I think. Oh well, at least most of them mean well, I think. Also, I got to learn how to aim this thing. Also, I got to learn how to aim this thing. Pew pew! Pew pew! Huh? Huh? Greetings. Greetings. Greetings. How may I help you? How may I help you? How may I help you? Oh, um. Oh, um. I am so sorry if I interrupted you. I am so sorry if I interrupted you. I just thought your playing was... pretty. I just thought your playing was... pretty. It was not pretty. It was not pretty. It was not pretty. Whatever you say. Whatever you say. Anyway, I'm Dotty. Anyway, I'm Dotty. Dotty Duette. Dotty Duette. Are you a precept? Are you a precept? I am not a precept. I am not a precept. I am not a precept. But my ring tells me you are. But my ring tells me you are. Your ring is fraudulent. Your ring is fraudulent. Your ring is fraudulent. Huh? Huh? Wait, you are a precept. Wait, you are a precept. Pathilogia, right? Pathilogia, right? But not only that, you're a liar. But not only that, you're a liar. I heard about you from Tipsy. I heard about you from Tipsy. I am not lying. I am not lying. I am not lying. I speak only the truth. I speak only the truth. I speak only the truth. And what about Tipsy? And what about Tipsy? And what about Tipsy? You tell her she should drink. You tell her she should drink. I get she needs to, but do you need to encourage it? I get she needs to, but do you need to encourage it? Encouragement is a good way to express love. Encouragement is a good way to express love. Encouragement is a good way to express love. I've encouraged many of my fellow precepts. I've encouraged many of my fellow precepts. I've encouraged many of my fellow precepts. Appeticio, Goldilocks, Tipsy, Snoozie, Glory, Priestess, and KI-TOON. Appeticio, Goldilocks, Tipsy, Snoozie, Glory, Priestess, and KI-TOON. Appeticio, Goldilocks, Tipsy, Snoozie, Glory, Priestess, and KI-TOON. Why would they all listen if I lied? Why would they all listen if I lied? Why would they all listen if I lied? You're listening to me now too, Dotty. You're listening to me now too, Dotty. You're listening to me now too, Dotty. Are you not? Are you not? Are you not? I... I... I... um... I... I... I... um... Do not come forward. Do not come forward. Do not come forward. Uh... do you mean I should? Uh... do you mean I should? Do not play this. Do not play this. Do not play this. Please. Please. Please. Oh, uh, alright. Oh, uh, alright. Um... it sounds good! Um... it sounds good! Um... it sounds good! Aw, thanks. Aw, thanks. Oh, wait a minute now. Oh, wait a minute now. Oh, Path!! Oh, Path!! It's terrible! It's terrible! I've run out of booze and I need more! But everywhere I go, there is NONE!! I've run out of booze and I need more! But everywhere I go, there is NONE!! I need... I need something!! Before I get Sober!! I need... I need something!! Before I get Sober!! No, Tipsy. No, Tipsy. No, Tipsy. I will stay. I will stay. I will stay. It was utmost horrendous to meet you, Dotty Duette. It was utmost horrendous to meet you, Dotty Duette. It was utmost horrendous to meet you, Dotty Duette. You can take the back door. You can take the back door. You can take the back door. Thank you, Pathy! Thank you, Pathy! You're... you're the bestest friend I've ever had! You're... you're the bestest friend I've ever had! Oh, well, alright then. Oh, well, alright then. Huh? Huh? Oh my God! Oh my God! Ow, my ass! Ow, my ass! Now where the fuck am I? Now where the fuck am I? In your graveyard, silly! In your graveyard, silly! Huh? Huh? Surprise! Surprise! It's me! It's me! The one and only KI-TOON!! The one and only KI-TOON!! Oh, holy fuck! Oh, holy fuck! I knew it was you! I knew it was you! Oh! Oh! And I knew you wouldn't forget my iconic face! And I knew you wouldn't forget my iconic face! Now, before I end your life, you may be wondering... Now, before I end your life, you may be wondering... Oh, but why was my ring all TEAL when I first met you? Oh, but why was my ring all TEAL when I first met you? Let me tell you! Let me tell you! It's pretty funny! It's pretty funny! You see, I summoned a paintbrush and painted it over when you weren't looking! You see, I summoned a paintbrush and painted it over when you weren't looking! How the fuck is that even possible? How the fuck is that even possible? I don't know! I don't know! That's why it's so great! That's why it's so great! My abilities break logic itself! My abilities break logic itself! I can bend myself and the space around me! I can bend myself and the space around me! I can twist, I can spin, I can turn! I can twist, I can spin, I can turn! But most importantly... But most importantly... I can kill, kill, kill, kill! I can kill, kill, kill, kill! And I am the best one there is at it all! And I am the best one there is at it all! Impressive, huh? Impressive, huh? That's why I should be king! That's why I should be king! Kindness can't keep that fat-ass safe forever! Kindness can't keep that fat-ass safe forever! Oh, God... Oh, God... You know, any killer would be honored to kill someone as peculiar, unfortunate, You know, any killer would be honored to kill someone as peculiar, unfortunate, and ugly as you! and ugly as you! I mean, you're already practically split in the middle! I mean, you're already practically split in the middle! Wait a minute... Wait a minute... How didn't I think of that sooner? How didn't I think of that sooner? I don't know, but I got an excellent idea! I don't know, but I got an excellent idea! Ho ho ho! Ho ho ho! I shall use the perfect technique to split you right in half! I shall use the perfect technique to split you right in half! It'll look like two separate corpses! It'll look like two separate corpses! Oh, but not with this old thing! Oh, but not with this old thing! I never use my knife! I never use my knife! So if you get any ideas of how to do it, please do tell! So if you get any ideas of how to do it, please do tell! I'm drawing a blank! I'm drawing a blank! Aw, what's wrong? Aw, what's wrong? Is my idea not good enough? Is my idea not good enough? Come on! Come on! Wouldn't it just be such an honor to be killed by me- Wouldn't it just be such an honor to be killed by me- Your death won't be merciful, girly! Your death won't be merciful, girly! I regret all of this! I regret all of this! Let me immobilize you further! Let me immobilize you further! There will be drama, tragedy, pain, torture- There will be drama, tragedy, pain, torture- Ow, my toe!! Ow, my toe!! Oh no! Oh no! Oh well, not my problem. Oh well, not my problem. Ow! Ow! Let me go! Let me go! I'm not scared of you, egghead! I'm not scared of you, egghead! Egghead?! Egghead?! Oh, and your body looks like a fucking hot dog with some noodles attached! Oh, and your body looks like a fucking hot dog with some noodles attached! No amount of surgery can save that! No amount of surgery can save that! Woah! Woah! Don't say that! Don't say that! I'm insecure! I'm insecure! Just means I gotta kill you quicker! Just means I gotta kill you quicker! More... Dwingles... More... Dwingles... I'll crush ya! I'll crush ya! Oh... Okay... Goodnight... Oh... Okay... Goodnight... Dead end! Dead end! That's right! That's right! And this chase gave me a teeny weeny idea for your death! And this chase gave me a teeny weeny idea for your death! I'll be ripping you in half with my own clubbed hands! I'll be ripping you in half with my own clubbed hands! Like a piece of paper! Like a piece of paper! And I'll make sure to go slowly so that it will hurt! And I'll make sure to go slowly so that it will hurt! Well, then... Well, then... Go ahead! Go ahead! Come at me! Come at me! Oh! Oh! Well golly gee! Well golly gee! How obedient! How obedient! Here I go! Here I go! Woah! Woah! You think that will stop me? You think that will stop me? Well then! Well then! Check this out, Dotty Duette! Check this out, Dotty Duette! Uh... Oh... Uh... Oh... How dare you! How dare you! I am unstoppable! I am unstoppable! Noooo! Noooo! Thank Chaos it's over with! Thank Chaos it's over with! Huh? Huh? The road! The road! It's back! It's back! Dotty! Dotty! Appeticio! Appeticio! And... And... The others! The others! Is... Is KI-TOON gone? Is... Is KI-TOON gone? No. No. He'll most likely be back. He'll most likely be back. But you probably did some damage to his self esteem if anything else. But you probably did some damage to his self esteem if anything else. That's something at least. That's something at least. But hey! But hey! The road is back guys! The road is back guys! I can finally go home! I can finally go home! I fixed it so that it would arrive for you. I fixed it so that it would arrive for you. But I do still have hope that you'll change your mind. But I do still have hope that you'll change your mind. Are you... Really leaving us? Are you... Really leaving us? So soon? So soon? I... I mean... This isn't my real home. I... I mean... This isn't my real home. Plus... It's so wacky and crazy here! Plus... It's so wacky and crazy here! If anything... If anything... I feel I'm too angry and serious and... I will be a burden so... I think I should. I feel I'm too angry and serious and... I will be a burden so... I think I should. Priestess! Priestess! Have this back! Have this back! You may be weird but you're kind for letting me borrow it. You may be weird but you're kind for letting me borrow it. It was my pleasure. It was my pleasure. Snoozie... You let me pour my heart out. Snoozie... You let me pour my heart out. And for that... I must thank you. And for that... I must thank you. You're welcome. You're welcome. Tipsy... You're a wacky fella. Tipsy... You're a wacky fella. But I like you. But I like you. And same with you, Mr. Glory. And same with you, Mr. Glory. A title only fit for the best. A title only fit for the best. Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Pathilogia... You're odd. Pathilogia... You're odd. But you intrigue me nonetheless. But you intrigue me nonetheless. And Goldilocks... Fuck you. And Goldilocks... Fuck you. Hey! Hey! Appeticio... Thank you for everything you did for me. Appeticio... Thank you for everything you did for me. Since I arrived here... You've been so kind to me. Since I arrived here... You've been so kind to me. And thank you as well, Epie & Narco. And thank you as well, Epie & Narco. Farewell, you all. Farewell, you all. D... D... Did... Did she leave? Did... Did she leave? I can't help it! I can't help it! I've grown fond of you fucking weirdos! I've grown fond of you fucking weirdos! Let me stay for a little longer! Let me stay for a little longer! You almost gave me a heart attack! You almost gave me a heart attack! Of course we'll let you stay! Of course we'll let you stay! Wait, really? Wait, really? Yay! Yay! Yippee! Yippee! Welcome to the Sinking Road, Dotty. Welcome to the Sinking Road, Dotty. Our new citizen, and official castle maid. Our new citizen, and official castle maid. Now when you're a royal maid, you'll get good pay, right? Now when you're a royal maid, you'll get good pay, right? And let's be friends! And let's be friends! Oh, hell no! Oh, hell no! [The Precepts talking over each other] [The Precepts talking over each other] I knew you weren't just going to leave with my treasured laser gun! I knew you weren't just going to leave with my treasured laser gun! Now give that back! Now give that back! Oh boy... Oh boy... Time to feast! Time to feast! Subtitles done by PoundToundHound using Subtitle Edit! Subtitles done by PoundToundHound using Subtitle Edit! Rocko dinnaata, josoo shinautan! Rocko dinnaata, josoo shinautan! YONKKOO dinnaata, josoo shinautan! YONKKOO dinnaata, josoo shinautan! Nautan, Nautan, Nautan! Nautan, Nautan, Nautan! Rocko dinnaata, josoo shinautan! Rocko dinnaata, josoo shinautan! YONKKOO dinnaata, josoo shinautan! YONKKOO dinnaata, josoo shinautan! YONKKOO dinnaata, josoo shinautan... YONKKOO dinnaata, josoo shinautan... Hahaha, I wonder what became of that stupid girl! Hahaha, I wonder what became of that stupid girl! Hahaha! Hahaha! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! I hate DUMBLOS! I hate DUMBLOS! Oh no! Oh no! Poor guy! Poor guy! The sea dumblos must have eaten him! The sea dumblos must have eaten him! Eh, he probably deserved it. Eh, he probably deserved it. Let's go, brother. Let's go, brother. If you wish for me to make more Dwurm-Tales a reality... If you wish for me to make more Dwurm-Tales a reality... Consider Donating to my Patreon! Consider Donating to my Patreon! Thank you so much in advance, O-ho-HONK! Thank you so much in advance, O-ho-HONK!
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