9th May. '26 | H.G. Shubh Vilas Prabhu | S.B. 3.14.39 | ISKCON Chowpatty Mumbai.

Added: 2026-05-16

[00:00:05]Hare Krishna.

[00:00:21]Jayo Radha Madhava Kunjabihari Jayo Radha Madhava Kunjabihari Gopijana Vallabha Girivaradhari Jayo Gopijana Vallabha Girivaradhari Yashodanandana Vrajajana Ranjana Yashodanandana Vrajajana Ranjana Yamuna tira vanachari Yamuna tira vanachari Jaya Radha Madhava Kunga bihari Jaya gopi jana vallabha girivaradhari Yashoda nandana vraja jana ranjana Yamuna tira vanachari Jaya Radha Madhava Kunga bihari Jaya Radha Madhava Kunga bihari Jaya Radha Madhava >> What is this?

[00:09:18]will take birth.

[00:09:21]Your two contemptuous sons.

[00:09:31]Oh, unlucky one.

[00:09:38]Born of a condemned womb.

[00:09:42]Lokan all planets Sapal rulers >> [snorts] >> Trin three Chandi haughty one Muhu constantly Akrand Yes Yataha will cause lamentation.

[00:10:10]Translation: Oh haughty one you will have two contemptuous sons born of your condemned womb.

[00:10:19]Unlucky woman, they will cause constant lamentation to all the three worlds.

[00:10:24]Purport by His Divine Grace A.C.

[00:10:26]Bhaktivedanta Swami Srila Prabhupada.

[00:10:29]Contemptuous sons are born of the of the condemned womb of their mother.

[00:10:34]In the Bhagavad Gita 1.40 it is said when there is deliberate negligence of the regulated principles of religious life the women as a class become polluted and as a result there are unwanted children.

[00:10:46]This is especially true for boys. If the mother is not good, there cannot be good sons.

[00:10:52]The learned Kashyapa could foresee the character of the sons who would be born from the condemned womb of Diti.

[00:10:59]The womb was condemned because of the mother's being too sexually inclined and thus transgressing all the laws and injunctions of the scriptures. In a society where such women are predominant, one should not expect good children.

[00:11:14]Om agyanatimira andhasya gyananjana shalakaya chakshurunmilitam yena tasmai shri gurave namaha Shri Chaitanya manobhishtam sthapitam yena bhutale svayam rupa kadamayam dadati one day she guru she but I come along she guru wish to she do sagar that saguna raghunatha with Sugriva sadhu sadhu but it Krishna they she rather Krishna saguna Lalita Shri Vishakha with a Krishna Karuna Sindhu Deena Bandhu Jagat go Krishna Gopi Kanta Radha Kanta Namo today Gupta Kanchana go Radha Vrindavan is ready with a banana should they Devi but I mean Hari one cup of the sand of the banana power wish to Namo Namo Jai Shri Krishna Chaitanya Prabhu Nityananda Shri Advaita Gadadhara Shri was Adi bhakta Vrinda Hari Krishna Hari Krishna Krishna Krishna Hari Hari Hari Hari Hari Hari Hari Hari Hari Hari Hari Hari Krishna I'd like to welcome all of you to today's Bhagavatam class.

[00:13:32]So, today's verse and today's theme is very interesting.

[00:13:39]Um and the coincidence of it being, you know, 1 day before Mother's Day is even more interesting.

[00:13:49]The way the Bhagavatam verses are coming up, you know, exactly talking about the role of a mother in the growth of a child and the importance of mothers in in society.

[00:14:00]And, you know, tomorrow is supposed to be Mother's Day, so it's a this verse is going to be a tribute and today's class is going to be a tribute to mothers.

[00:14:08]And we're going to be studying the whole metaphysics of motherhood today and trying to understand the concept of parenting and the role of mothers through the pages of Srimad Bhagavatam and through various scriptures.

[00:14:23]>> [clears throat] >> And try to understand how mothers can shape the the life of a child and specially, you know, from a greater society's point of view.

[00:14:33]>> [clears throat] >> So, in the Bhagavad Gita, 13th chapter, Krishna speaks about kshetra and kshetrajna.

[00:14:43]And he says kshetra is field and kshetrajna is a knower of the field.

[00:14:49]So, here he's speak I mean, philosophically he's speaking about the concept of body and soul and all of that. But, if you bring that concept to motherhood, we understand the mother is a kshetra, field, where um you know, a child is sown.

[00:15:09]So, just like in a field, when a seed is sown, you know, it grows into a beautiful plant.

[00:15:14]But, [snorts] the the soil is acidic, then even a seed of a banyan tree will remain, you know, stunted. It will not be able to grow.

[00:15:24]So, the mother's consciousness, you know, whatever her fears are there, whatever her aspirations are there, her hidden resentments, all of that become the chemical composition of the soil of the kshetra.

[00:15:39]And when in that kshetra a child grows, the child's psyche is shaped by the mother's thought process.

[00:15:50]And that's what is being mentioned in the Srimad Bhagavatam here. The result of Diti's untimely desire, it proves, uh, you know, and of course, the whole mood of how she's thinking.

[00:16:04]So, in the Manusmriti, it is said, As the nature of the woman, so is the nature of the son that she brings forth.

[00:16:18]So, it talks about how the mother's internal state of mind, her internal alignment, is the prominent and is the most dominant thing that shapes the child's character.

[00:16:32]Uh, a child is like a block of marble.

[00:16:36]And the world is providing chisels in the form of difficulties, in the form of experiences, etc. And the father is providing a pedestal on which the the stone can be kept.

[00:16:47]But the mother is the light.

[00:16:49]So, if the if if a sculptor is sculpting a statue from marble, but the light is not correct, then what shape will come?

[00:16:58]The shape of the marble will be very distorted, isn't it? But if you have the right light, then the then the marble can be seen very nicely, and the sculptor can sculpt something very beautiful.

[00:17:08]So, the mother is that light, you know.

[00:17:11]Um, and the mother is compared to the earth. Just like the earth bears the weight of all beings and provides everything without even asking anything.

[00:17:21]The mother, she is the foundation of all civilization.

[00:17:26]And if that foundation is cracked, there are many mothers in the scriptures. We're going to be talking about different types of mothers in the scriptures. And some mothers teach you what to do and some mothers teach you what not to do.

[00:17:37]And depending on the kind of person the mother is, the nature of the child is shaped.

[00:17:45]So the first role of a mother is called chitta chitta shuddhi.

[00:17:49]Or the mother is the one who cleanses the consciousness of the child.

[00:17:58]There is a very interesting concept of in quantum biology where the mother's heart rate and the emotional state of the mother it is it directly influences the nervous system of the child. Just like when you see a child crying like anything, the child is going through some pain, some trauma, right? But the moment the mother picks up the child and hugs it, the child stops crying.

[00:18:24]So there is some connection between the mother's system, you know, internal system and the child's nervous system.

[00:18:33]And therefore the sukshma sharira it influences the sthula sharira.

[00:18:41]Sukshma sharira of the mother, you know, the mother's internal system affects the sukshma the sthula sharira of the child.

[00:18:48]Affects all the externals of the child.

[00:18:51]And that is how the whole consciousness is.

[00:18:54]Like for example in the Mahabharat, we find Abhimanyu he learned how to enter the chakra vyuha in the womb of his mother. When he was in Uttara's womb and sorry, when he was in Subhadra's womb, at that point he heard from Arjun.

[00:19:11]Now Arjun was not teaching the child. Arjun was teaching Subhadra, right?

[00:19:16]But so the mother's he was talking to the mother's physical being as well as the emotional being of the mother.

[00:19:24]And the child inside the womb was hearing it, right?

[00:19:28]So if the mother is distracted, fearful, consuming a lot of junk content like violence and you know media, gossip during the pregnancy or the early childhood that forms the baseline of the child's life. So the child is a very anxious child, you know? So you'll find many children are very very anxious. It depends on what the mother has consumed when she was pregnant, you know?

[00:19:52]So the mother must So so the way the mother processes whatever is happening around her, it becomes like a firewall to protect her child.

[00:20:03]So Srimad Bhagavatam, you know, especially the story of Prahlad Maharaj.

[00:20:07]Now Prahlad Maharaj stayed in the womb of Kayadu for a long period of time.

[00:20:11]But she listened to Narada Muni.

[00:20:13]And because of because she listened to Narada Muni, he became a Mahabhagavat.

[00:20:19]You know, Kayadu listened to Narada Muni, Prahlad came out and became a Mahabhagavat.

[00:20:23]So the mother's ears are the child's eyes.

[00:20:27]So whatever the mother hears that develops the vision of the child. So how the world child sees the world depends on what the mother hears.

[00:20:36]And that's what the whole idea of chitta shuddhi is about, you know?

[00:20:40]So the child's character is not formed by what you tell them.

[00:20:46]But it is formed by the psychological atmosphere around the child.

[00:20:51]So therefore Diti's pregnancy with Hiranyaksha and Hiranyakashipu here it is not a genetic failure.

[00:20:57]But it is a failure of the environment.

[00:21:00]So the kala and the chitta the environment in which Diti became pregnant, that environment was wrong.

[00:21:07]And because the environment was wrong, it affected the the mindset of the children.

[00:21:15]So, the mother is like a like a greenhouse, you know, like at the glass of a greenhouse. So, if you've seen greenhouse where plants are nurtured, so the greenhouse, the glass has to be very clean. Then the light can percolate inside. But if the glass is very dirty, the sunlight cannot percolate inside.

[00:21:32]And unfortunately, for a lot of So, now um if sunlight is not percolating inside the green greenhouse, they end up putting artificial light, you know, to grow the plants essentially.

[00:21:47]So, if the mother is chanting, if the mother is having spiritual practices, but she is having constant fights at home. There's a lot of negative energy at home.

[00:21:59]The child, what he will download in his mind, will be that resentment, the negative energy.

[00:22:06]Um and the mantra will not so much percolate the child. So, the environment in which the child is raised up depends on the consciousness of the mother. If the mother is in great anxiety, that anxiety transfers into the child. If the mother is very peaceful and very focused, that focus and and the peace transforms into the child.

[00:22:28]Um so, Chitta Shuddhi is essentially about shaping the child's thinking a thought process. Just [snorts] like in the story of you know, this boy called Satyakam. So, Satyakam was a young boy. He um grew up in in a place called Tapovan in that area. And he wanted to go to Gautam Rishi to learn from him.

[00:22:52]And Gautam Rishi was a very exalted sage. So, so Satyakam went to his mother and he asked she asked her, "I want to go and learn under Gautam Rishi. He's such a exalted sage. Please give me your blessings.

[00:23:04]So, his mother, her name was Jabala, she was very happy that he has a desire to learn under under Gautam Rishi.

[00:23:11]And you know, Satyakam, just before leaving, he asked her, "If my guru asks me what is my lineage, what should I tell him?"

[00:23:20]So, now Jabala, she she was thinking, "What should I tell my child? Should I tell him the truth or should I make up something?"

[00:23:28]So, she decided, "Let me just teach the truth, you know?"

[00:23:32]And Jabala, she taught, you know, she told her son what exactly was the problem. She said, "I grew up in a atmosphere where I didn't have any support system.

[00:23:44]And therefore, I lived like a prostitute. I had so many men in my life, and I don't know who your father is. That is the truth.

[00:23:50]You can tell if your guru asks you who your father is, what your lineage is, just tell him that you're a son of Jabala.

[00:23:58]And your name is Jabala Satyakam.

[00:24:00]So, this boy went to his guru, and he spoke to Gautam Rishi, and Gautam Rishi asked him, you know, he was very impressed with you know, Satyakam's desire to learn. He asked him, "What is your lineage? What is your background?"

[00:24:12]And this boy, very honestly, said, "You know, my name is Jabala Satyakam, and Jabala is my mother's name."

[00:24:19]And immediately, the guru, Gautam Rishi, understood the situation.

[00:24:22]And Gautam Rishi told him, "Because you are honest, and you have great eagerness to learn, you must be a Brahmin.

[00:24:30]That's the quality of a Brahmin."

[00:24:32]And he accepted him under his shelter.

[00:24:34]And Gautam and Satyakam, he grew up in the ashram of Gautam Rishi.

[00:24:41]And nature taught him so much. You know, he was grazing cows, and while he was grazing cows, 1/4 of knowledge is given to him by a bull.

[00:24:51]And another 1/4 of knowledge of Brahmin was given to him by a swan the lion came. Another 1/4 of you know the of nature of knowledge was given to him by a waterfall. So like this you know Satyakam developed great knowledge and went back to his guru.

[00:25:11]And his guru was very impressed that nature taught him so much.

[00:25:15]But he said, "I want to learn all of this again from you because you are my guru. I want to learn from you only."

[00:25:20]And you know Gautam Rishi taught Satyakam again and Satyakam became one of the greatest you know personalities of his time.

[00:25:28]So the one of the things that shaped Satyakam his life was his mother's boldness to help him accept the reality.

[00:25:37]So one of the things that the mother has to teach is to is to teach us how to accept our realities.

[00:25:45]Whoever we are, whatever we are, we have some strengths and weaknesses.

[00:25:48]And nobody can be perfect. We all have imperfections. But the problem with most of us is that we try to hide our imperfections because we are not able to face our imperfections. The role of a mother is chitta shuddhi which means she helps us accept our imperfections the way we are and accept ourselves the way we are.

[00:26:08]The second role of a mother is called vacha shuddhi.

[00:26:11]Vacha shuddhi essentially means so she teaches us through words the right consciousness.

[00:26:19]The first knowledge that we get, the first thing we ever hear in our life is the words of our of our mother.

[00:26:25]And through the words of the mother we learn so much about the world.

[00:26:29]Uh there is a you know very beautiful story in the Markandeya Purana of a queen named Madalasa.

[00:26:36]So this uh queen she was a very interesting personality. She was a daughter of a Gandharva king named Vishvasu.

[00:26:44]And um she was a very self-realized soul. She was a Brahmagyani.

[00:26:51]And she understood that the body is just a a means for the soul to reside in.

[00:26:58]And when she got married and she has started having children, the first son that she had, his name was Vikranta.

[00:27:05]And you know, most mothers, when they see the child crying and you know, disturbed, they'll say some nice things.

[00:27:13]They will tell the child, "Don't cry."

[00:27:15]Or they will tell, you know, sing some lullabies for the child. She will, you know, they will sing some, you know, songs. They'll give you some milk to the child. They'll give some toys to play to the child. But Madalasa, she was a very different type of person.

[00:27:29]So, instead of giving all these lullabies, she taught the child something known as Madalasa Upadesha.

[00:27:36]So, she actually started teaching the child that you are pure.

[00:27:40]You are enlightened. You are completely uncontaminated.

[00:27:45]>> [clears throat] >> And you are beyond the illusion of this world.

[00:27:47]So, she started raising the child with the consciousness of Brahmagyan right from the beginning.

[00:27:53]So, she knew that the for the first few years in the child's development, the logic of the ego is not yet developed. So, usually as we grow up, we start developing logic. And we start developing our own ego.

[00:28:05]And then we start developing the idea of what is right and what is wrong, what we want to hear, what we don't want to hear. You tell a 17-18 year old boy, "Come and attend classes." They'll run away.

[00:28:15]Because they have their own idea of what they feel is right and wrong, isn't it?

[00:28:18]Because they have developed their own thinking, their own ego.

[00:28:22]But a small child which is just born, the child has no idea because they have no ego at all.

[00:28:27]And therefore, Madalasa felt this is the right time for me to give Brahmagyan to the child. And the child will accept it.

[00:28:32]And as a result of, you know, the way she was teaching the child right from the day one, this child eventually grew up and became a sannyasi. He renounced the world, went and, you know, perfected his life.

[00:28:45]Eventually, a second child was born.

[00:28:47]A third child was born.

[00:28:49]All the children are becoming sannyasis.

[00:28:51]Her husband was the king of that land.

[00:28:53]He was He went to her and said, "What are you doing? You know, whatever you're telling them, they're all becoming sannyasis.

[00:28:58]We need a king. We need a We need a security of the future."

[00:29:02]She The king told him, "At least the next child that comes, make sure that he is, you know, a raja rishi."

[00:29:09]And then, Madalasa, the fourth son that came, his name was Alarka. She changed her style.

[00:29:15]But she didn't change the depth of what she was speaking. She spoke the same depth only, but she taught him Rajadharma, the duty of a king. And she taught him that the king is not a master, but the king is a trustee. He must rule the kingdom according to the will of the Lord. And as Alarka grew up, Madalasa, uh eventually gave him a ring.

[00:29:37]And she told this told her son that anytime you are in an emergency and you have no idea what to do, and you're completely lost, that time, read the contents of this ring. The ring had a small paper in it, you know, which was hidden. And he would have to open it only when he was in big trouble.

[00:29:57]And eventually, Madalasa and her husband, they retired. They went to the forest to perfect their lives. And Alarka became a king. And eventually, the king The kingdom was attacked. And he was at a point where he was completely lost. And he was in great anxiety. That time, he remembered his mother's gift. And he opened that, you know, that little paper that was written on in the ring.

[00:30:19]And in that, it was written, So, Madalasa gave an instruction to her son. She said, "Attachment should be abandoned from the heart.

[00:30:29]And if you cannot abandon attachment, then attach yourself to wise and saintly people.

[00:30:34]That is the only way you can perfect your life."

[00:30:37]And this one sentence by Madalasa, by her son, by her by his mother, he it helped him become calmer.

[00:30:45]And he went and consulted one of his trusted advisers. And the wisdom of that person made him, you know, win the war and you know, get back his kingdom.

[00:30:55]And this is a whole mood of what a mother does. So, watcha shuddhi, the mother's role, she is like a programmer.

[00:31:04]Um You know, usually you know, any hardware that you have, you know, you need to install a software in it, right?

[00:31:13]But when do you install the software?

[00:31:16]The software has to be installed right in the beginning, right? So, most parents wait for the hardware to grow up and then they try to install software.

[00:31:23]Doesn't work. Mother Yashoda installed the software right from the day one only. From the moment the child was born, she started installing the right software, you know? And that is how this boy grew up to become a very, very powerful person. The words of the mother is something that really is powerful and you know, it shapes the heart and the mind of a child. And specially during crisis, that is what you remember the most.

[00:31:52]>> [clears throat] >> The third aspect of the mother or the third role of a mother is um There is something called as um you know anti Gandhari mindset, you know? So, we have we're going to talk about Gandhari, how how she thought and what is exact opposite of that, which is what mothers have to do.

[00:32:15]So, Gandhari in the Mahabharat, so her blindness, when she tied tied the cloth around her eyes, it is a metaphorical thing also. So, one is a physical act of tying the cloth around her eyes, but there's also a metaphorical way of looking at that cloth being tied around her eyes.

[00:32:32]So, she didn't just renounce her sight at that point in time, but she also renounced her ability to supervise the character of her children.

[00:32:41]So, the mother's role is to keep seeing, right? [clears throat] And anytime the child goes wrong, the mother's role is to correct the child and immediately rectify the child's mindset.

[00:32:54]The child's faults. The mother is like a gardener.

[00:32:57]So, if a gardener sees weeds growing, it's like a mother seeing faults in her child. So, the moment the gardener sees a weed growing, the gardener shouldn't say, "Hey, this is also green. Let it grow."

[00:33:10]Everything that is green is not need not be good, right? So, the gardener has to understand which weeds to take out. So, the mother is like a gardener. She has to know when the child's faults have to be uprooted. And that is the mood of should be the mood of the mother.

[00:33:27]So, Gandhari's failure was her inability to say no.

[00:33:32]Because she was totally blinded by her attachment to her son, you know.

[00:33:38]And so, the So, there is a difference between vatsalya and moha.

[00:33:43]So, vatsalya is spiritual affection.

[00:33:46]And moha is delusional attachment.

[00:33:50]So, what Gandhari had was not vatsalya, it was moha.

[00:33:55]Her affection for her son was very delusional.

[00:33:59]And you know, and just before the war when Duryodhana comes to her for a blessing, um you know, Duryodhana wanted blessing from his mother.

[00:34:08]She could have easily lied at that time also, but that time she said, "Yato dharma tato jaya." She said, "Wherever there is dharma, there is victory."

[00:34:17]Now, um the tragedy of Gandhari was that she spoke the truth too late.

[00:34:24]You know, she had enabled his ego for 99% of his life.

[00:34:29]And last 1% she's trying to tell truth.

[00:34:31]So, which is going to be more powerful, right? Naturally, the 99% of the ego that she has enabled is going to be more powerful than 1% of truth that she said.

[00:34:39]Probably, the only time Gandhari told good Duryodhana something that he should hear, that she should have told him, was this time.

[00:34:49]But, it was too late, you know, by the time the ego was installed so powerfully in Duryodhana, you know.

[00:34:55]So, Gandhari, she you know, blinded herself.

[00:35:01]And she never allowed her son to become strong morally.

[00:35:06]Just like if a butterfly if a caterpillar is coming out from the cocoon to become a butterfly, now the process of caterpillar coming out of the cocoon is a very painful process, very very painful process.

[00:35:18]And for that caterpillar to come out of the cocoon, it has to really struggle hard.

[00:35:24]But, if the if the mother thinks that, you know, let me remove the let me open the cocoon for the child, you know, let me cut the cocoon open.

[00:35:33]The child is not going to grow its wings, isn't it?

[00:35:36]>> [snorts] >> So, the mother's job is not to make um you know, all the struggle go away for the child.

[00:35:44]But, the mother's role is to make the child strong enough to able to handle all kinds of pains and tribulations that come, you know.

[00:35:53]So, this whole idea of Gandhari of difference between vatsalya and moha is very very clear.

[00:36:01]You know, vatsalya is strong love.

[00:36:05]Moha is soft love.

[00:36:08]So, most parents today are are doing what is called a soft parenting.

[00:36:13]When you do soft parenting, you create a very weak child. You create a very emotionally fragile child.

[00:36:21]And that is why you look at 90% of youngsters today, when they go into corporate jobs, they break down so easily because there's a lot of fragility in the in the children and because of what is called a soft love, which is technically called as moha.

[00:36:38]What which is what Gandhari created, you know, in Duryodhana.

[00:36:42]>> [clears throat] >> So, Gandhari's blindfold was in once an act of emotional withdrawal.

[00:36:48]By choosing not to see, she lost her right to correct also.

[00:36:52]So, Duryodhana's adharma was actually a vacuum created by Gandhari's moral supervision going missing.

[00:37:02]If Gandhari's moral supervision was constantly there, Duryodhana wouldn't have been what he became.

[00:37:08]And therefore, the mother should be like a surgeon.

[00:37:11]A surgeon loves the patient, but at some point they have to use a knife to cut the tumor. Just because the surgeon loves the patient is, "Oh, no, no, no. I can't cut this patient. I love this patient so much." It won't work.

[00:37:24]You're causing you're causing greater damage to the patient, right?

[00:37:27]So, moha or soft love wants the child to become like the mother.

[00:37:34]But vatsalya, which is spiritual love, wants the child to be great.

[00:37:38]So, the point over here is that when you overindulge in uh you know, in the child's growth, you know, and there's a lot of overindulgence, the children is given a lot of freedom and you know, all the signs time they hear yes, then they develop a lot of faults also in them, right? So, this is the third um you know, concept of motherhood.

[00:38:01]The fourth idea of motherhood or the fourth role of a mother is called as centrifugal love.

[00:38:07]And this we see from the life of Sumitra in the Ramayana.

[00:38:10]So, uh Sumitra was so there are two mothers in the Ramayana. One is Kaikeyi.

[00:38:16]So, Kaikeyi's parenting was centripetal.

[00:38:20]So, in engineering you hear this two type of forces, centrifugal and centripetal forces. Centripetal forces means you attract everything inside.

[00:38:28]And centrifugal means you push it outside, right?

[00:38:31]So, Kaikeyi's parenting was centripetal.

[00:38:34]That means it pulled everything inward towards her son Bharat and towards helping Bharat uh in gain materially.

[00:38:44]And in the process of pulling everything towards herself, towards her son, she suffocated everyone in Ayodhya. She suffocated and practically destroyed the whole kingdom.

[00:38:53]But Sumitra's parenting was centrifugal.

[00:38:55]That means she it the the centrifugal parenting of Sumitra pushed her sons outwards towards service.

[00:39:02]So, she told Lakshman, "Ramam Dasharatham with him. Mama with him Janakatmajam. Ayodhyam Atavim with him.

[00:39:09]Gachchha that yatha sukham." She told him that uh you know, from now onwards, "Ramam Dasharatham with him." From now onwards, your father is not Dasharath.

[00:39:19]Father is Ram. Go and serve him. She said, "Now onwards, Mama with him Janakatmajam." She said, "Now onwards, I am not your mother. Your mother is Sita.

[00:39:27]Go and serve her." And she said, "Ayodhyam Atavim with him." So, she said, "Now onwards, Ayodhya now is not your, you know, home. Your home is the forest. Go and serve there. Gachchha that yatha sukham." And your joy is in serving your brother. She pushed him outwards, basically. So, Sumitra understood that for a child to be truly happy, they must belong to something greater than their own biological family.

[00:39:53]So, if you only belong to your biological family, you can't achieve anything great in life.

[00:39:59]A lot of people want to hold their children only to themselves. Like Dasharath also in the beginning, you know, when when Vishwamitra came, he wanted to hold Ram for himself.

[00:40:07]Vashishtha said, "Hey, Ram doesn't belong to you. Ram belongs to the world.

[00:40:11]Set him free." The more parents hold their child only to themselves, to their biological roots, that much you're restricting the growth of children.

[00:40:19]And so, we have to The parents have to understand like Sumitra saying, "Your child has to belong to something greater than you, greater than your family." And that is the whole idea of uh centrifugal parenting.

[00:40:32]And uh Sumitra, she redefined the whole idea of what a nuclear family is. She taught her son that your purpose is not to stay at home and take care of me.

[00:40:43]She said, "Your purpose is to serve the center."

[00:40:47]What is the center? Center is Ram. You serve the supreme Lord, and by serving the supreme Lord, you're serving everybody, including me. You know? So, Sumitra had two sons, Lakshman and Shatrughna.

[00:40:58]And both her sons she gave for service.

[00:41:01]She said, "Both of you go and serve."

[00:41:03]And uh you know, she practically never cried for herself. I mean, Sumitra is the only mother in the Ramayana that she didn't that didn't cry for herself.

[00:41:11]Kausalya cried for herself. Kaikeyi also cried for herself. Sumitra never cried for herself, because she was not interested in getting something from her sons. She was interested in allowing her sons to go and do something much bigger uh to the world.

[00:41:24]So, parenting supposed to be a launchpad, not supposed to be a landing strip.

[00:41:29]So, a lot of parents are parenting from the point of view of ROI, return on investment, you know? I'm going to parent my children, and when I get old, the children will give something back to me.

[00:41:42]So, this is called This is a very strange and a very incomplete way of parenting, where you look for ROI, you know?

[00:41:49]So, most parents raise their children as an extension of their own unfulfilled dreams. What I can't do, I'll make my child do. What I couldn't do engineering, I'll make my child do engineering. I couldn't become a swimmer, I'll make my child a national swimmer, you know? So, whatever my unfulfilled dream is that, I'll make my child do it.

[00:42:08]So, this style of parenting is not a very good style of parenting. Sumitra raised her sons uh not an extension of her own full unfulfilled desires, but as her uh as a service as an extension of Ram's mission.

[00:42:22]And therefore, um it is said a very very beautiful analogy, a mother is like a bow.

[00:42:28]And the child is like an arrow.

[00:42:31]The more the mother bends, that means the more the mother sacrifices her ego, sacrifices her comfort, the further the arrow will fly.

[00:42:40]The more the mother bends, the further the arrow arrow goes.

[00:42:44]And if the bow is stiff, you know, it is not able to bend at all, right? The bow is stiff, which means the mother is controlling, the arrow falls at her feet only.

[00:42:55]So, a lot of parents, what they do is this kind of parenting, you know, where they are wanting that child who's like an arrow to fall at their feet only, you know?

[00:43:04]So, a powerful mother doesn't try to keep the child in her own orbit, but she keeps the child to the center, which is the supreme lord, and from there they can go anywhere in the universe and serve so much, you know?

[00:43:17]The fifth type of um you know, the role fifth role of a mother is uh the concept of um you know, helping children deal with their emotions.

[00:43:28]In the Srimad Bhagavatam, when uh Dhruva Maharaj, a five-year-old child, was kicked off the father's lap, uh you know, Dhruva came running to his mother Suniti.

[00:43:39]Suniti did not badmouth uh you know, his stepmother Suruci.

[00:43:44]She said, "My dear son, you don't deserve to sit on any mortal king's lap.

[00:43:52]You should sit in the lap of the supreme lord, you know, who is the lord of the whole universe."

[00:43:57]So, she took the psychological trauma of Dhruva Maharaj and turned it into a spiritual quest.

[00:44:04]So, the mother, so she is she knows how to use that energy, you know? Just like when there is water and there is flooding of water, you know? So sometimes our emotions are like flooding water, right?

[00:44:19]Um it water when you when you is not controlled, it becomes very destructive.

[00:44:24]But when that water is regulated by a dam, you can actually turn into electricity.

[00:44:29]So Dhruva Maharaj, his emotions were like flooding.

[00:44:33]And what what Suniti created was she created a dam.

[00:44:36]She directed that flooding water in a particular direction and it created such an electricity, such a powerful connection with the Supreme Lord.

[00:44:46]And that's the whole idea of, uh, you know, what this particular story teaches us in the Bhagavad Gita.

[00:44:52]Uh, Arjun was very confused.

[00:44:54]Um in our dharma sammudha chetaha. So this whole idea of sammudha chetaha means his mind was completely confused.

[00:45:02]And, um that's when Krishna came in and gave him direction. And Arjun took shelter of Krishna and Krishna acted like a mother, gave him direction.

[00:45:12]The mother must act like a guru, the first guru of the child, and help the child, uh, develop shreyas, which means focus on the long-term good over preyas, the short-term good. So Suniti, uh, when Dhruva was insulted, Suniti had two choices, you know? The first choice she had was validation of victimhood.

[00:45:36]And the second choice she had was activation of potential.

[00:45:39]So what Suniti did was, you know, she could if if if if she had to validate the victimhood of Dhruva, she could have said, "Your father is mean. Your stepmother is cruel. We are so unlucky.

[00:45:51]We are so unfortunate. What to do? We will have we will have to live like this only." She would have created a bitter child.

[00:45:57]She would have created a weak child, right?

[00:46:00]But Suniti, she acted differently.

[00:46:03]Uh she believed in activation of potential.

[00:46:06]She said, "They are right.

[00:46:08]The world is temporary.

[00:46:10]Go and find someone who owns all the thrones.

[00:46:14]That is permanent, you know?

[00:46:15]So, what she did, instead of creating a weak and bitter child, she created a Mahajan.

[00:46:23]Just by giving him the right direction.

[00:46:25]Just by activating his potential, right?

[00:46:27]Um a mother is like an alchemist.

[00:46:30]She doesn't She knows how to transform lead into gold.

[00:46:36]So, she uses fire. The fire is the trauma that Dhruva was going through.

[00:46:40]She was going through so much anger, so much pain, so much of frustration. She used that fire to transform the lead into gold. And Dhruva, you know, he was a child who was completely confused and bewildered. And she transformed the tragedy that Dhruva was going through into a challenge.

[00:46:59]And Dhruva took it up. Six months he saw the supreme lord. And that's the way Dhruva Suniti shaped Dhruva's mindset.

[00:47:06]And the sixth role of a mother is uh the mother is the Sthita-prajna. The you know, the she is the one who brings emotional stability to a child to a child.

[00:47:18]Uh the greatest strength of the mother is >> [clears throat] >> to help the child uh never act like a victim.

[00:47:26]But, uh overcome the victim mentality and become very, very powerful. So, in the Srimad Bhagavatam we find Kunti Maharani uh when she says vipadah santu tah shashvat tatra tatra jagat guru bhavato darshanam yat syad apunar bhava darshanam.

[00:47:39]Uh so, she is looking at hardships as an opportunity for spiritual growth.

[00:47:46]So, from the mother, the child learns resilience.

[00:47:51]So, the child learns uh how to overcome fragility.

[00:47:55]So, most of most people in this world are very fragile.

[00:47:59]But when they come across mothers like Kunti, they become absolutely strong.

[00:48:05]So, the one of the reasons the Pandavas were so powerful was because of their mother Kunti.

[00:48:10]They grew up without their father, without without a palace, without any kind of support system. Only Kunti was the one who created such strength in their hearts. She made them so resilient.

[00:48:23]You know, there's a very beautiful story in the Mahabharat of uh which is told by Kunti to Krishna in the Mahabharat.

[00:48:32]And Kunti tells Krishna this story. She tells him, "Go and tell this story to my sons."

[00:48:36]And this story is told by Kunti just before the war when the peace message uh you know, Krishna came as a peace messenger and he failed. At that time uh he met Kunti. And Kunti told Krishna, "I want to tell you a story. You go and tell this to my sons as it is."

[00:48:52]And she told this very beautiful story of uh a boy named Sanjay.

[00:48:57]So, Sanjay, his father um was the king of Sindhu.

[00:49:02]And um eventually the father died you know, pretty um when Sanjay was very young.

[00:49:09]And after the father died, Sanjay was installed as a king of uh Sindhu Desh.

[00:49:15]And um um sorry, the the the kingdom of Sauvira. Sauvira is the name of the kingdom where Sanjay was ruling. And uh you know, the king of Sindhu attacked Sauvira. So, when the father died, uh Sanjay's father died, so the king of Sindhu thought that this is a very weak kingdom because there was a young boy who was sitting on the throne. And obviously he's inexperienced, let me attack. So, he attacked it.

[00:49:41]And Sanjay, uh he found himself in the middle of a war with no experience. He had no experience of fighting a war. He had no experience of winning any war.

[00:49:49]And he had no no of leading an army. And here he was faced such a massive decisive battle.

[00:49:56]So, Sindhu's army was very powerful and Sauviras army was losing like anything.

[00:50:02]At some point Sanjaya realized that I'm going to be dead if I'm going to continue fighting.

[00:50:07]He ran away from the battlefield, left his soldiers over there only. He ran back to his home, to his fort. He thought I'll go inside my fort and take shelter of my fort. Inside the fort at least I'll be safe.

[00:50:18]When Sanjaya reached the fort, the fort door was locked from inside.

[00:50:25]So, Sanjaya he's you know started knocking on the door.

[00:50:28]From inside nobody's opening the door.

[00:50:30]Imagine he's run away from the battlefield, he can't even enter his house.

[00:50:35]From top of the fort his mother you know she spoke.

[00:50:39]>> [clears throat] >> And from you know top of the fort his mother she started giving an instruction to Sanjaya.

[00:50:50]So, she started saying that my dear son, go and fight.

[00:50:55]And she told him that you know Sanjaya's mother and his her name was Vidula.

[00:51:01]So, she told him that you have only two options.

[00:51:04]Either you fight and die in the war or you fight and win the war and come back.

[00:51:10]There is no third option for you.

[00:51:12]The door of this fort is not going to open till you come back either dead or or victorious.

[00:51:17]And this lady from top of the fort she spoke a very beautiful analogy.

[00:51:24]So, she gave the analogy of this particular analogy in the Mahabharata is known as Vidula Putra Samvada.

[00:51:31]And in this analogy she told him, Alatam Tindukasyeva Muhurtam Tamapi Vivvala Matu Sa Tusagnir Vanachir Duyam Uh Yasva Jujivasi.

[00:51:49]So, she's telling him so she's giving a analogy. She's she's she's saying you have the choice of being like a Hindu car wood.

[00:51:59]Hindu car wood is a particular type of wood.

[00:52:02]So, it is said that Hindu car wood burns brilliantly. It it gives such huge amount of light. But only for one moment.

[00:52:12]It gives huge amount of light for one moment.

[00:52:16]And she said if you don't want to be a Hindu car giving such huge amount of light for one moment then you will be pathetic like a fire of a husk.

[00:52:27]When you [clears throat] set husk on fire, huge quantity of husk on fire hardly any fire comes out. Only smoke comes out.

[00:52:35]So, she said either you be a Hindu car you burn brilliantly even for one moment or you be like that husk. You keep burning not producing any fire, only smoke. Right?

[00:52:46]So, essentially with the law was telling you know her son that um you know, either you have full clarity for one moment or you produce you end up with nothing for a long period of time, you know? So, she told him this is your one moment.

[00:53:04]In this one battle if you shine brilliantly then for the rest of your life you will be you will be very successful.

[00:53:11]But in this battle if you become like a smoke producing no fire then you might live a long period of time but you'll be useless. She said go and fight.

[00:53:21]So, then you know, this story Kunti tells Krishna to tell her sons.

[00:53:28]She tells him that tell my sons the Pandavas that you either become like a Hindu car you know, do something brilliant or you will die like this a hay pack of husk which producing literally no, you know, nothing in nothing great.

[00:53:45]So, that particular incident makes Sanjay from a fearful child to a fearless warrior. Sanjay went and fought so powerfully.

[00:53:56]And somehow or the other he defeated the king and he came back victorious, you know. And this is the story that, you know, Kunti tells. And this is Kunti style of parenting.

[00:54:06]Making her children resilient. Making her children not give up, you know. So, these are the six things that we can learn from this particular, you know, aspect. First, the word mother, m o t h e r, has six letters in it. And these are the six stories that fit in. The first, the m stands for manifesting consciousness, chitta shuddhi. We spoke about Abhimanyu and Uttara, Abhimanyu and Subhadra, and we spoke about Jabala Satyakam.

[00:54:35]And then we spoke about o, which is objective vision. The anti-Gandhari idea, you know, looking at the child as a soul and not as a possession. And then we spoke about t, which is transmuting trauma. Suniti turned hurt into height.

[00:54:50]So, she turned Dhruva's tragedy into a very powerful opportunity for him to grow spiritually. The h stands for harmonic speech. The The concept of vacha shuddhi, which we learn from the story of Madalasa, speaking mantras of identity and not just labels of ego. So, she transformed the identity of her sons, you know, and through her words right from the beginning. And e stands for empowering service. Sumitra teaching that greatness is found in contribution.

[00:55:21]Teaching our children to go out, the idea of centrifugal parenting. And finally, r stands for resilient grace.

[00:55:28]Kunti, she, you know, she's modeling the strength of how to face adversities in the most powerful way.

[00:55:36]And, you know, this whole concept of parenting through these stories is very, very beautifully explaining the roles of mothers. I'll end with a very small, but a very powerful story.

[00:55:48]And this story again is something that will really help us understand how important mothers are and their roles are in our own lives.

[00:55:57]>> [clears throat] >> There was once a king named Bhag Naswana.

[00:56:02]And this king, Bhag Naswana, he was doing a lot of Yagyas. He was childless.

[00:56:07]And because he was childless, he wanted to obtain 100 sons through a Yagya.

[00:56:12]And when he, you know, wanted to obtain these 100 sons, he did this Yagya. The Yagya was successful and he actually did obtain 100 sons.

[00:56:20]But in the process he obtained an enemy also.

[00:56:23]Indra became his enemy because in that Yagya, Agni was given more prominence than Indra.

[00:56:29]And Indra became very upset with Bhag Naswana and he wanted to take revenge.

[00:56:33]So one day this king, Bhag Naswana, was going for a hunting expedition. And while he was going on hunting, he Indra planned something for him. This was this king got separated from his people and he somehow reached a lake. And he wanted to just have a bath in the lake. He had a bath in the lake, he entered the lake. When he came out of the lake, he became a woman.

[00:56:55]Indra did something and inside only sex change happened. And he came out, he came out a queen.

[00:57:00]So he was totally bewildered seeing the transformation of his body. He didn't know what was happening. So he went to his kingdom and nobody recognized him because he's a woman now. And he somehow convinced all of them that I am the same person. I've come back, you know, I'm I've become a woman now. But now I don't want to stay here anymore. It's so embarrassing for me. He handed over the kingdom to his 100 sons and he walked into the forest. And he started living a completely different life. Nobody in the forest knew that who he was, what his background was and all that. And he started living as as as woman.

[00:57:31]And as a woman he somehow in love with some you know one man over there and she got married to him.

[00:57:37]And through him, she had 100 sons.

[00:57:40]And after having 100 more sons, now she sent the 100 sons back to the kingdom.

[00:57:45]And now there were 200 sons in the kingdom. And they became very very powerful.

[00:57:50]And Indra, he was not satisfied. He was getting angry. Then I wanted to cause problem to him, but it became even better for him. So he caused a rift between the two uh two batches of sons.

[00:58:01]100 sons first of father and 100 sons of mother. And both the sons fought and all 200 sons died.

[00:58:08]And at that point, you know, this lady, so Bhangaswana, who was a king, now he became a queen. He was totally bewildered and he realized that some force is acting against me.

[00:58:18]And then eventually he got to know that this Indra was doing all of this.

[00:58:21]Bhangaswana fell at the Indra's feet and you know, he begged him forgiveness. And he said, you know, please and he explained to him why he worshipped Agni.

[00:58:30]And finally Indra realized I think I did too much.

[00:58:34]You know, I went, you know, uh an extra mile to damage this fellow.

[00:58:38]So he felt bad.

[00:58:40]He said, "Fine. Because you're begging forgiveness, uh I will give you one boon.

[00:58:45]You can choose which of the 100 sons you want back to life.

[00:58:50]You want the 100 sons as a mother back to life or you want the 100 sons as a father back to life?"

[00:58:56]Bhangaswana said, "I want the 100 sons that I mothered back to life."

[00:59:01]So Indra said, "Why do you want 100 sons as when you know which you mothered back to life? Because the older sons are much more powerful."

[00:59:08]He said, Bhangaswana said, "The affection that I have as a mother giving birth to the children is much much more the affection that I had as a father giving birth to children. The connection that I have with my children as a mother is much much more than the affection I have for my children as a father."

[00:59:24]Indra was very impressed by it.

[00:59:26]And Indra, he said, "I will bring all 200 sons of yours back to life."

[00:59:31]And then he said, "Because you gave such a powerful answer, I want to give you one more boon.

[00:59:36]You can get back your, you know, manhood. You know, you get you'll become king again. I want to give you back your, you know, gender."

[00:59:45]And this Bhangaswana said, "Please, I don't want to [snorts] become a man.

[00:59:49]I want to be a woman only."

[00:59:51]Indra was even more bewildered. He said, "What? Why do you want to become Why do you want to remain a woman?"

[00:59:57]And that's when Bhangaswana said, he said, "I have lived both as a mother and as a father.

[01:00:03]I have lived as a man and I've lived as a woman.

[01:00:05]But the pleasure of motherhood far surpasses that of fatherhood.

[01:00:11]And the joy I get in seeing my sons, that much joy I never had when I was a father."

[01:00:18]And he said, "I don't want to ever lose that joy." He said, "Play Please let me remain a mother.

[01:00:23]And I want to remain a mother of the whole world."

[01:00:26]And this is the whole mood of, you know, the of the of the of the scriptures. And Bhangaswana teaches us how important the role of a mother is, you know.

[01:00:36]Uh the You'll never hear of the concept of a father tongue. You'll always hear the concept of a mother tongue. Because the mother is the one who's shaping our language, who's shaping our mindset, who's shaping every every aspect of our life. So, the you know, the father gives a seed and the mother turns it into a beautiful child.

[01:00:55]Uh God gives her a boy, she, you know, transforms the boy into a gentleman.

[01:01:00]God gives her a girl, she transforms her girl into a delicate fairy.

[01:01:04]Uh a son gives her respect, she returns back with a blessing.

[01:01:09]The daughter gives her time, she returns back joy.

[01:01:12]The world may not give due respect to a mother, but the mother always continues giving, uh you know, us life. I'll end with one verse from the Shanti Parva of the Mahabharata, which is Bhishma telling Yudishthira Maharaj.

[01:01:25]So, this verse says Nasti Matrasya Chaya Nasti Matra Samagatih Nat Nasti Matra Samam Tranam Nasti Matra Sama Praya.

[01:01:39]It says, there is no shade in this world like a mother.

[01:01:42]There's no refuge in this world like a mother.

[01:01:45]There's no protection in this world like a mother. There is no life-giving well spring like a mother.

[01:01:51]So, let us offer our respects to our mother who has given birth to us. And she's responsible for everything that we have.

[01:01:58]To all the mothers of this world. And most importantly, our eternal mother Srimati Radharani, who has given us everything that we all need to connect with Krishna. Thank you very much. Hare Krishna.

[01:02:10]>> [applause] >> Srimad Bhagavatam Ki, Srila Prabhupada Ki Jai.