Why It's "Safe" To Say This About Black Men (But Not Black Women)

Added: 2026-05-15

[00:00:00]If we use that same exact language and use the very groups that's pushing this up the most, they're going to try to get people canceled. Welcome to another episode of Ask a Brother podcast. I'm your host Jeff St. James and we're going to have a whole host of different people from different backgrounds coming in because it really is [music] about building a community of like-minded people that's just open to listening and hearing from other perspectives. The revolution is going to [music] be because of us.

[00:00:27]Straight black men are the cancer of the black community.

[00:00:31]>> Black men are the cancer of the black community. The comment that I dropped was that I agree and reporting for duty.

[00:00:40]Especially hearing you explain it more and watching that original clip that you put out in the response and then seeing how you've been responding to Darwin and um uh Dave so far, it makes sense to me you're looking at it through a line of consistency. Um right? Um he does something wrong, you you think that's cancel. When we do something wrong, you think that it's cancel. So in your world yeah yeah yeah. So that that helps me a lot. I think the issue was for me uh gynocentrism, you know, for the audience and people that's watching.

[00:01:14]It's something that we discuss a lot about. A lot of even men don't know examples and the effects of gynocentrism until somebody like points it out.

[00:01:24]And I think um uh what's his name? Funky uh Daneva?

[00:01:29]>> Daneva. Yeah, Daneva's initial comment, his initial remark that black men are the cancer of the community. Straight Yeah Oh, sorry. Straight black men are the cancer of the community. If you wanted to know potentially whether or not the reason why maybe many of us were so accepting of that statement or just being like, "Ah, that's fine." And whether or not that's coming from an objective place or maybe leaning more in a gynocentric [clears throat] mindset is if you took out straight [snorts] black men and you left the sentence alone and you put in gay men.

[00:02:09]A lot of the same people that said that they were fine with the statement about straight black men being the cancer of the black community.

[00:02:20]If someone was to say out loud black women are the cancer of the black community.

[00:02:28]If they said gay men are the cancer of the black community.

[00:02:34]Do we know and uh fully understand that the reaction and response from the people that overwhelmingly was fine with it being said towards our direction?

[00:02:44]Would have had the opposite reaction and response.

[00:02:48]And the reason why is because they would have seen that as dehumanizing if it applied to gay men or women.

[00:02:56]So my question is if you know, we're going to be like consistent I'm not upset with your response cuz I see the consistent statement.

[00:03:04]But I wanted to know your thoughts about me seeing it that way cuz I think a lot of men on the other side probably saw it like I did and was like, hey man, if if we use that same exact language and use the very groups that's pushing this up the most they're going to try to get people canceled, fired um call them a bigot.

[00:03:26]You know, say that they're using dehumanizing language, get them deplatformed.

[00:03:30]Me saying out loud like gay men are the the the cancer of the black community, that sounds insane to say out loud. But when we're in a gynocentric era where we're kind of looking at things primarily through a female lens it makes sense to me why I think a lot of people couldn't have seen that comparison and how much more damaging would have been to say that about anybody other than us. What you think, brother?

[00:03:58]Yeah, you know, this is uh And here's the nuance of where we should really be looking at this because as a Look, I am the leader of my house.

[00:04:16]Not because I tell people what to do.

[00:04:19]Mhm. Because I show people what to do.

[00:04:23]That's what makes a leader.

[00:04:25]Mhm. Leaders actually take on the responsibility of creating an umbrella of those who they look after.

[00:04:36]Who they are in service to.

[00:04:40]There are things that my wife is incredibly capable of doing within the confines of our marriage and in our family.

[00:04:52]But there are certain things that she will react emotionally to that could get us into trouble from time to time. And I have to make sure that I am not acting out of my feelings but examining the facts.

[00:05:11]And then making a decision that allows us to be able to traverse whatever it is that we have to navigate. That is the difference between the men, the women, and the children.

[00:05:28]So, this conversation has to be looked at through the lens of as men, what do we take responsibility for even when we haven't had a hand in breaking it, and are we going to respond in the same way that the women respond, that the children respond, even our brothers who happen to be gay respond. Mhm. Okay. I think I can answer that question. Yeah. I think this is a good place to to jump in.

[00:05:59]Good evening, Mr. Deondre Whitfield.

[00:06:02]Of I can't say that I'm as familiar with your work as my my colleagues. I I came to know of your work through Queen Sugar.

[00:06:10]Watched several seasons of that. I am also familiar with your off-camera work.

[00:06:17]So this isn't the first time I've I've been aware of your presence.

[00:06:22]Funky Dineva's statements.

[00:06:26]Very interesting.

[00:06:28]Because on the one hand the black community wants to promote or foster a kind of new masculinity discussion.

[00:06:42]So you're talking about a gay black man.

[00:06:45]Very outspoken. I've noticed over the past few years outspoken gay black men in various guises inveighing on For lack of a better I mean let's be honest here. They're they're not really known as powerful political commentators or powerful sports commentators. Really what they discuss is black love issues. And to put a finer point on it, straight black love issues.

[00:07:13]They never talk about gay black issues.

[00:07:17]They never talk about lesbian black issues.

[00:07:23]They only talk about straight black issues. Now that's interesting to me.

[00:07:29]Why only straight black men? Why don't they TALK ABOUT GAY BLACK MEN?

[00:07:35]GAY BLACK men don't have issues in love issues? They don't Well, as it turns out I'm asking a rhetorical question. They don't. We know that when we look at gay marriage, lesbian marriage, straight marriage, that the least domestic violence, the least infidelity, the least uh uh divorce, is actually among gay male couples.

[00:08:06]So, it makes sense I mean, you're not going to get much clicks and views talking about gay black issues cuz to be brutally frank, there's nothing to talk about.

[00:08:14]There's There's There's no drama.

[00:08:16]There's no There's no fighting. There's no There's none of this stuff.

[00:08:20]And if you talk about lesbian marriages that have the highest divorce rates, the highest infidelity rates, the highest domestic violence rates, you just might get canceled.

[00:08:38]YOU JUST MIGHT GET CANCELED. SO, IT'S EASY to talk about straight [snorts] black marriages, the down low, you know, uh uh uh uh grifting off of black women's fears about the down low. There are actually black gay men who make their daily bread ginning up fears of black women ABOUT DOWN LOW BLACK MEN.

[00:09:11]THAT is some nasty work. So, the fact that we're here right now rolling off the lead of a black man talking about other black men being a cancer while at the same time threatening with violence a black woman, and we're supposed to answer the call to that?

[00:09:38]Seriously? You know, I represent an alternative black masculine community, too.

[00:09:43]It's called the black manosphere.

[00:09:46]And we brothers uphold ourselves to a code.

[00:09:50]In 5 years of operation, no domestic violence, no violence of any kind.

[00:09:56]None of it.

[00:09:59]And so I say to Mr. Funky Din- Diniva and anyone else who finds themselves in league with that, simply this.

[00:10:11]Why does he care so much about what goes on between black men and black women, given that he's a he's a gay black man?

[00:10:16]And he needs to answer that question honestly.

[00:10:19]Why [clears throat] does it matter so much? Why do these gay black men CARE SO MUCH ABOUT WHAT STRAIGHT BLACK PEOPLE WERE DOING? DON'T THEY HAVE ENOUGH GOING ON between them own selves?

[00:10:32]They need to answer that question honestly.

[00:10:36]Yeah.

[00:10:37]>> it there. Yeah, and and now that I've heard everybody have a little bit of, you know, different back and forth and and my own thoughts listening to Mr. Whitfield, and now we can actually get into reacting and responding to things in general.

[00:10:49]Um I although I, you know, obviously disagree and and like I said, I do think that that language does appear to be something that's uniquely acceptable for heterosexual men. I understand your argument that we're built to take that in the way that everybody else on the other side can. Um and I I actually get and understand that for sure.

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