Yolanda Walmsley: The Craziest Stage Mom on Dance Moms??

Hinzugefügt: 2026-05-30

[00:00:00]So Yolanda Wamsley is probably one of the most chaotic stage moms that has ever been broadcast on a TV show. And watching her at times was incredibly uncomfortable with the kind of pressure she was putting on Elelliana as well as how she handled interpersonal conflict.

[00:00:13]We saw Elelliana consistently get a lot of criticism on dance moms from Abby, from Giana, from her own mother. And a lot of these criticisms literally forced production to intervene. So, I think Elelliana's story is incredibly sad when you really factor in the exploitation she went through as well as the domestic abuse that she has allegedly endured.

[00:00:31]So, I want to get into all that today, but I want to start with the early years with Yolanda and Elelliana. So, Yolanda Wamsley is no stranger to the competitive, you know, sports dance world. Um, Yolanda was born on February 22nd, 1971, and she was a competitive figure skater. So, Yolanda was a competitive figure skater and dancer.

[00:00:49]Um, but she ended up getting into a career of being a teacher. So she was a teacher at Coline Elementary School in Boulder, Colorado. And she started this career in 1994, but she always had a drive to be on the bigger stage. She really wanted a grander, more big, more huge stage. And that's where Elelliana comes in. So Elelliana started training in dance at 18 months old. You know, her mom threw her right into this. Um, she was doing rigorous training and she was training at Joffrey Ballet in Scottsdale, Arizona, the Michelle Latimer Academy in Centennial, Colorado, and the Millennium Dance Complex in Los Angeles. Elelliana was very gifted. You know, honestly, she was considered a prodigy. Like, she was considered a prodigy in her art. I mean, she was very hyperflexible. That's what really drew a lot of people to her dance style. She was hyperflexible and she was also a very intense style of dancer. So she had this intense expression when she danced that really set her apart from other competitive dancers. And long before she joined Abby Lee Dance Company, Elelliana had titles. She was basically sophisticated in the dance world. She was winning numerous titles. She was really seen as such a wonderful young talent of a ballerina. I mean, she had a lot of, let's just be real, she had a lot of street cred. I think what was really alarming to me and many people while watching Yolanda and Elelliana on the show is that Yolanda had this tactic of like extreme survival to the point where it basically was a us versus them brainwashing. She really was trying to throw a wedge in her in Elelliana's friendships and her uh teammates and she made it seem like everyone was against them. And Elelliana would vehemently deny it. She would say, "Hey, this girl's not bullying me. Hey, this isn't happening. Like, I don't know what she's talking about." you know, and Elelliana would go into visible distress because her mom is making something out of nothing. And it's like, why are you starting all this drama with me, like you're making me look bad, you're making like my teammates look at me crazy. And she would just continue to say, "No, they're bullying you. They're doing this to you. They're doing that to you.

[00:02:43]They're bullying you. They're isolating you." And she's like, "No, they're not."

[00:02:46]So, it was she was literally like 7 8 years old already having to deal with her mother's manipulation, trying to brainwash her. And Elelliana was smart enough to be like, "No, that's not what's happening. Mom, they're bullying you. Mom, >> you know she has feelings. Mom's feelings.

[00:03:02]>> She did nothing wrong.

[00:03:03]>> She has They're not bullying.

[00:03:05]>> She has feelings.

[00:03:06]>> They're not doing anything wrong.

[00:03:08]>> Really? Please ignore her.

[00:03:12]>> She wasn't bullying.

[00:03:13]>> I wasn't bullying.

[00:03:14]>> They're excluding you.

[00:03:16]>> What are they doing?

[00:03:17]>> What are they doing?

[00:03:19]And I think Yolanda was creating a condition where uh Ellie would go to her for like safety, emotional safety, trust instead of trusting and leaning on her teammates. And it's it was really disturbing to watch because you could see just how frustrated she was getting and how confused she was. She's like, "I don't know why my mom's doing this. I don't know why she's causing all these problems." Like, and she even went to Liliana in a scene and said, "Hey, I'm so sorry. I don't know why she's saying this. I don't know why she's doing this." like she's trying to diffuse the situation and like be the adult. And you know, something that stood out to me, and I think I said it in my video about Elelliana years ago, is that Elelliana was very astute for a young girl, like she was using words like sanctimonious um just casually, you know, that was just part of her addiction naturally.

[00:04:02]And I think that's what makes it more tragic is like clearly with her rigorous training as well as her mom always trying to gaslight and manipulate her, she had to grow up quickly. But I think also with her mother being a teacher, I think that's also part of it as well.

[00:04:14]you know, her having such a vast vocabulary is probably um the effect of having a mom who's a teacher. Another scene that was really alarming in Dance Moms is when Yolanda through I guess frustration and through just her crazy terrible emotional regulation offered up Elelliana's spot on the team for Macy.

[00:04:33]And again, this was so shocking even for everyone else in the room. They're like, "Why would you do that? Why would you give up your daughter's spot? Why would you try to take her away? Elelliana's crying so profusely. She's so sad. You know, you even see the uh the elder girls trying to comfort her. And you know, Yolanda just doesn't care. She's willing to use her daughter as a bargaining chip. And I I feel like so much compassion for Elelliana in this scene because it's like, hey, I want to be here. I want to dance. I want to do my thing. Like, I just want to have fun and dance. And you even saw like when the older girls were walking away from Elelliana, I think Khani gave her a look like crazy like you crazy woman. like you you you terrible woman to do that to your child. You know, it's it was sad because you even saw everyone kind of went into mommy mode. Even the older girls, they all went into mommy mode to try to encourage Elelliana and her own mother was just using her as a means to bargain and to win an argument or to prove a point. Give her Elelliana's point. All right, Elelliana, you go.

[00:05:35]What would you say that for?

[00:05:36]>> Why would you >> Wanda, why do you do that? get over here and console your daughter. No, I've consoled her a lot. I just made this flipping comment to the Junior League moms hoping that people would just kind of take a step back and be like, "Wow, you know, maybe we are actually not being very nice to Yolanda and Elelliana."

[00:05:56]Nope. Nothing at all. This has been resolved a long time ago, but then we get into probably the most like big blow up on Dance Moms was the Stacy and Yolanda choking incident. Uh, you know, this is where Stacy used some psychological language that was incredibly incredibly I would say very damaging. I mean, it was a joke, right?

[00:06:17]But she was saying like, "Hey, uh, I don't treat people with dissociative identity disorder, right?" And so, she said this to Yolanda, which like I said was really awful cuz Stacy is a licensed psychologist therapist. That does not look very good. That doesn't reflect well in your practice, right? Um but you know um that basically caused Yolanda to go nuclear when Liliana told her mom like hey Yolanda said that I was bullying her you know Stacy went nuclear. She's like what do you mean like like you know what she's like yo like she was like about to go square up and then Yolanda just attacked her. So like it was apparently it was said that you know production was goating Yolanda to escalate the situation but it's like again zero emotional regulation. You can't just say hey I don't want to be bothered right now. Leave me alone. But again, Yolanda started it because she claimed a child was bullying her child when that wasn't what was happening. So you you started that and now you're going to attack the person for confronting you about it. Even though Stacy did confront her in a very erratic way, it's like you started something that didn't need to be started. This just got worse in season 8 because, you know, Yolanda and Stacy continued their rivalry and their anger towards each other. And it got to the point where Stacy was eavesdropping on Yolanda and Elelliana's conversations and basically saying like, yo, she's basically coaching her child and telling her child to say this, that, and the third. She's telling her kid to say these things.

[00:07:34]She's feeding her her child like lines and information. And you can see Elelliana's uncomfortable. She's refusing. It's like, so it's just bringing more attention to how unstable the dynamic is. Again, Yolanda almost doesn't see Elelliana as an autonomous person with her own desires, her own wants, but it's like, "Hey, when I'm mad, you're collateral damage, and I'm going to use you as that chip." You know what I'm saying? Like, you're just collateral damage for my lack of emotional regulation. I keep saying that that over and over, emotional regul, but seriously, the the lack of emotional regulation. If this woman had emotional regulation, we wouldn't even be having these problems, okay? We wouldn't be having these problems if she had some emotional regulation. Okay? This also really culminated to a huge heated discussion when it came to Elelliana's solo castaway. And basically her mom is like, you know, you better win. You better get first overall or we're going home. And literally Abby cut in and was like, yo, you like, how dare you talk to your child like that? How dare you? And it's like, how often did Abby intervene when a parent was talking to their kid a certain way? The fact that Abby intervene is insane. And I do kind of understand Yolanda's position of like, hey, you need to dance to the best of your ability, otherwise what are we doing here? Why are we wasting time? I get that. But the delivery was horrible.

[00:08:45]The delivery was terrible. And again, it's just you're literally putting so much pressure on your child to perform and to win and to be good and to be amazing and all these things when and and I think what's so sad is again like Elelliana proved her cred. Like she was a national title winner. She was very respected in the dance world for being so young. So it's like Elelliana paid her dues. This show was honestly just publicity. This show wasn't meant to, you know, make her the best dancer in the world or, oh, we want to go dance with Abby because Aby's so amazing. I mean, that was always the mom's like excuse, right? Like, oh, Aby's incredible. We want our kids to dance with Abby. No, they knew Abby wasn't all that. They knew she wasn't she they knew she wasn't crap. Like, they knew she wasn't really like this renowned teacher, but they wanted exposure from the show. So, my thing is like I think Elelliana just I mean, excuse me, Yolanda just took the show way too seriously. She took things way too seriously. It was just meant to be exposure. Especially cuz Elelliana was so good. And that's what I just don't understand about these moms that came on later is like, your kids already really good. Why do you want them to regress to be on some TV show that's manufactured and they already knew how bad it was from all the previous seasons? You know what I'm saying? So, my camera died while filming and I literally was about to finish. So, I'm sorry if this second half of the video is not as energetic as the first half, but let's keep going.

[00:10:01]So, going back to Elelliana's Castaway solo, this solo actually led to Elelliana and Yolanda not being invited back to finish out the rest of season 8.

[00:10:10]So, Elelliana actually revealed later on that the reason why they never returned was because after that solo, Elelliana was being bered by Abby, Giana, her mom, and it was just way too much pressure.

[00:10:21]So, she goes somewhere private to them, but the mic is still connected. So, the the production can still hear her. and Elelliana ended up saying something so alarming that the child psychologist was asked to intervene and to speak with Elelliana. And then after that they went on a twoe break and then Elelliana and Yolanda were not invited back. So it just makes you wonder like Elelliana never actually explained what it was that she said. But I think it's pretty clear to assert and to assume that what was said was so alarming and so inappropriate for a child that they had to just pull the plug. You know, it I don't want to speculate on what it was, but Elelliana herself said that it was very inappropriate and that a child shouldn't say what she said. So, that's really crazy to me. And apparently Abby was upset with the decision and wanted Elelliana to stay and blah blah blah, but it's Abby. She don't care. She don't care as long as it's feeding her bottom line. And that's just the truth.

[00:11:12]>> But I was so mad after that that I went into the dressing room behind there, didn't realize I was miked, made a comment, and then got the psychologist on the phone, >> and then you were gone.

[00:11:21]>> Yeah. And that killed me because >> two more solos and we would have you'd have been there.

[00:11:27]>> I know >> like another lyrical and then something >> remember there was a two week break and in that two week break then >> I think ultimately they got scared. I was like I don't know if I want to go back cuz I'm one of just a stupid comment I made. can't share what that comment is, but I didn't realize I was miked. And I as soon as I came out, I saw all the mic people and they were all like >> Elelliana as a little girl said something that was inappropriate and scary and she said it. She had a microphone on everybody heard it and went instead of Elelliana, shut up. Don't say that. That's what should have happened.

[00:12:00]>> And I didn't say it cuz I was like actually feeling that. I just said it cuz I was just mad. I was like, >> right, she should have stayed two more solos. She'd have been the champion in that group.

[00:12:10]>> Also, if you're enjoying this video and like talking about stage moms, I actually have a stage mom's playlist on my channel. And I do plan on covering other stage moms outside of the dance mom's universe. I've already covered the singer Aliyah's mother and I also have a dance mom's playlist of a ton of videos I've done over the years. So, if you're new to this channel, you can have a ton to binge for hours and hours and hours.

[00:12:26]So, yeah. Anyway, back to the video. So, now we're going to talk about I think probably the most disturbing part of Elelliana's story. Actually, there's many disturbing parts, but this is also this is one that is like very sustained.

[00:12:38]Um, I did a video on this a couple years ago, but it had to do with Elelliana's career post Dance Moms and her involvement with Piper Rockel's Squad. I also recently did a video on Piper Rockel as well if you're interested in that. But if you don't know who Piper Rockel is, she was a child star, a young child star on YouTube and she had this squad which was basically a content mill of you know a bunch of teenagers making content that was fake, fictitious and very highly inappropriate. It was very disgusting. Uh, you know, really like sexually coded, charged type of content and, uh, it was just very inappropriate and there was a lot of abuse going on behind the scenes and Netflix literally did a documentary about it last year called Influences: The Dark Side of Kid Influencing. So, Elelliana joined this squad, you know, not too long after her dance mom's departure. She uh, was on some stints for different shows like Dancing with the Stars Jr. She was on like the Brat TV series which a lot of the other dance girls have been a part of and then she moved to Piper Squad. So again, this squad was very disturbing and there was so many horrible things going on and Elelliana was paired with this boy named Jensen Ramirez. They were paired together to have this fictionalized romance and there was so much content being created around their relationship and these relationships and their relationship became a primary source of digital traffic. So it really fostered this like unhealthy codependent relationship with Elelliana, Jensen, and just the rest of the squad. So the thing is this relationship with Elelliana and Jensen was real and was authentic, but it was highly manipulated. It was monetized and it was exploited and they were basically being forced by the production of Piper Squad to do certain things, act a certain way. And eventually they left the squad, you know, they realized that, yeah, this is not it. And like now I think they're still together now and they just they do content together and I think they're committed to having a much more grounded and real authentic approach to their relationship and you know they're still very young so they've been through a lot together for being so young. Elelliana also revealed that she was subjected to systemic psychological bullying.

[00:14:38]Elelliana ended up being blocked from parties and blocked from like different parties that Piper was having in her room and there was a door code that was basically keeping her out. So rather than addressing this, the group decided to make it content. So when Elelliana would be rejected or she would be um you know blocked away, they would film it for content and make it seem like a prank. So they were using Elelliana's authentic distress for monetization and for content.

[00:15:01]>> It's like we would do our own little separate outings very rarely cuz the other two would mainly do their separate hangouts and then post it. And I was like, "Oh, you wouldn't be invited."

[00:15:11]>> No. We would go to like fairs and pumpkin patches and all these pumpkin fun things that I wanted to do.

[00:15:17]>> Actual like nonvideo thing. and they wouldn't know it wouldn't be filming.

[00:15:20]Like I'm like, "Guys, I love a pumpkin patch." And it was just so sad. That like hurt me. I didn't know the code to the door. They'd have secret dance parties up in their room and the door would be locked. And I'm like, "Guys, I can hear what y'all are doing upstairs."

[00:15:33]Like they >> There was also intense control over just her social media activity. So Elelliana apparently liked a post by a former member of the squad, Coco Quinn, and Tiffany basically like aggressively made her unlike it. She said, "You better unlike this post." This just goes to show that Yolanda didn't have any control at this point. Yolanda was just doing whatever um she needed to do to get Elelliana's career ahead. And Tiffany literally manipulated Yolanda into firing Elelliana's manager. The big point that I want to make is that Elelliana didn't need these people.

[00:16:01]Okay, I get that social media, it's for a quick buck, right? Like being an influencer instead of a dancer, it's much easier objectively cuz dance is a very hard world to break into and to stay consistent in and get consistent money. whereas influencing is a lot easier in like a more a cheaper I guess way. But I mean like at what cost given what Elelliana went through in this squad. So now kind of shifting the gears back to Yolanda more. So this has to do with Elelliana's home life, her domestic life and it was very tumultuous to say the least. So, in late 2020, Elelliana's older brother Luke was making allegation against his mother, saying that uh Yolanda was a very physically and emotionally abusive mother and he was releasing all kinds of things to, you know, prove his point. He released a video of Elelliana stretching. Um, and Yolanda was basically forcing her to stretch and not um basically telling Elelliana, you can't ask me how many more reps we have. I'm not telling you how many more reps we have. So, a lot of people use this as evidence that Yolanda was physically abusive and they supported Luke. But then Elelliana then came out feeling like she needed to clear her mother's name and she said, "Actually, no, my brother is the abuser." And she revealed that her brother had been like basically uh struggling with lots of different things and there was a restraining order against the brother. You guys saw the video then you know you're probably thinking the same thing. No, my mom has actually never laid a finger on me.

[00:17:19]She's never, you know, she's hugging me and stuff. She's laid a finger on me, but like she's never hit me. He's never anything like that. My brother actually did something really, really terrible to me when I was 5 years old and has continued to do it. I for legal reasons actually can't say what it is. If it continues to get really bad and he continues to still post stuff, I probably will have to expose it, but let's just say it's really really bad and it took away like my innocence. I don't want to talk about it's a very very very like sensitive subject for me.

[00:17:47]Like I want to cry every time I think about it. But no, my mom is not abusive.

[00:17:51]Actually, she was just protecting him from me cuz he's deranged and he's honestly a psycho. So, everything you saw in that video, honestly, you didn't know what happened. He was throwing soap at us. He was like throwing cups at us.

[00:18:02]It was really, really bad. None of it was true. And, you know, my mom, of course, like she's going to yell at me like that's normal. So, so Yolanda was actually arrested for domestic violence back in 2020. And as far as I could, you know, research and know, I don't think it was ever revealed what the charge was connected to or like why it happened.

[00:18:19]Um, but yeah, I think this just again goes to show like Yolanda just seemed pretty destructive. So, I'm not surprised by that. Um, but I also think that uh Elelliana's brother sounds also insane. So, it just sounds like a really really tumultuous situation for um Elelliana and the rest of her family.

[00:18:37]And so, there was a video that Luke had released of Yolanda yelling at him and screaming at him. and she basically clarified that that day was when um the brother had violated the restraining order and that's why Yolanda was screaming in an attempt to protect her other children. So Yolanda has never addressed this on social media presumably to protect Elelliana's career. Um Yolanda has never addressed this whole crazy situation and it's just incredibly sad. Um it just makes me it's it's it's just very very sad. So what about today? What about like more nowadays post all this drama with dance moms the squad kind of where where does that leave Elelliana today? So Elelliana has really worked to distance herself from the squad from those days you know she's still with Jensen today. You know they have a much more calm social media presence. Um she is really working with other international creators. She's trying to study Korean. So she's really trying to establish herself more. But essentially, Elelliana is really trying nowadays, I think, to just live a more like typical influencer infused dance lifestyle. You know what I'm saying? It's it's not how it was before, which honestly, thank God considering what she's been through. So, I just find Elelliana's story an incredible cautionary tale. It just goes to show what happens when honestly the love of money um supersedes, values, common sense, integrity, um and when someone's incredible talent is being used for the worst possible thing, right? Their talents aren't being stewarded into the proper funnels and opportunities. And it's very sad to see.

[00:20:07]I keep saying sad, but that's literally what it is. It's sad. It's really horrible, and it makes you think about all the things she's going to have to uncover as she gets older and unpack.

[00:20:14]Um, but yeah, I just wanted to uh do this video on Elelliana's story. I really wanted to offer some compassion and, you know, just talk about Yolanda and how Yolanda in this situation didn't really go to bat for her own child.

[00:20:26]Yolanda didn't really um protect her child. Yolanda put her child under immense pressure, you know, living vicariously through her child and Elelliana had to had to pay for that.

[00:20:35]So, that's really a theme with a lot of these stage moms and as I continue talking about more of them, we're going to keep seeing these themes. But, thank you guys so much for watching this video. I really hope you enjoyed my breakdown. Um, and let me know what other stage moms I should cover in my next videos.