Voice Memo Guy: Consent or Coercion | What’s Wrong With Men? Hookup Culture Is Destroying Society

[00:00:00]The voice memo heard round the world.

[00:00:01]Hello everyone, I'm Sarah from Everyday Starlet. Welcome to my channel. I make videos to inspire you to be the star of your own life. Today we are talking about the viral voice memo guy and some of the topics that go along with things like hookup culture, consent, coercion, and all kinds of juicy stuff like that.

[00:00:18]Before I get into this, first of all, apologies for the feedback noise. We're having a heatwave here and if I don't run the AC, my camera keeps overheating and I keep overheating and it's just a mess. So, I know that's kind of annoying, but I just don't have any options here. Okay, so if you have not heard this story, I do think it was super popular on TikTok. I saw a few people talking about on YouTube, so I'm not exactly sure of the reach of this story. I'm not going to play the actual voice memo on here cuz I don't know if it's going to be like copyright issues or whatever. Just to kind of get you up to speed if you're not familiar, there was a guy apparently that left a woman a voice memo that she posted online.

[00:00:52]Apparently, these two had gone out on a first date. They were planning a second date. Apparently, I guess it was going to be at her house and this guy left a voice memo basically saying that he wanted to confirm there was essentially there was going to be physical intimacy because he can't move forward in a relationship with someone unless he knows they're going to be sexually compatible. So, he wants to make it clear if she's not on board with that, that's fine, but they shouldn't move forward with the relationship. He understands that on the first date they could get to know each other, but by the second date essentially he's expecting physical intimacy. There's a lot of conversation around this voice memo. A lot of it is like, "Oh, no, this guy understands consent." And some people are like, "Oh, this is coercion." and blah blah blah. And And I actually think that this opens up a ton of conversations that I I want to get into and I'll probably just scratch the surface, but if you want to listen to like the tone and everything of the voice memo and the conversation, I highly recommend check it out. You can easily find it if you just search like voice memo guy, I think it'll pop up and whatever, so you can hear the the actual conversation. Now look, I do want to say the skeptic in me is like this might have been staged for clicks and views. If this turned out to be a hoax that somebody just did for money, would not be shocked at all. You know, you're going to be like, you think everything's fake. Yeah, I honestly at this point I think most things on the internet are fake. But But I'm going to proceed in this video as if this is a real voice memo because I do think it does bring up some important conversations. So, and I do think that this is something that a guy, particularly in the younger generation, would do. So, whether it's real, whether it's fake, I'm going to use this as a jumping-off point for conversation. The first topic of conversation when it comes to the voice memo guy and the debate about is this consent or coercion. It's actually neither. And the reason why it's not consent is because consent is not a one-time permanent situation. If you consent to something and then you're like, when it started you're like, "No." You're revoking consent. That doesn't revoke the consent from what you previously consented to, but it revokes consent from the time forward. And that's something that anybody, although this does tend to come up more for women, however, in any situation, if either person takes the consent away, it means you have to stop in that moment. And my concern with this voice memo thing is that he decided to record this. So, he now has evidence that he asked for consent this time. So, if she does show up on the date, if at some point he decides to do something that she's not comfortable with, because there's a lot of different ways that people can hook up, if she decides at one point that she's like, "No, I don't want this." and he forces her anyway, he can then go back and be like, "Well, she knew what was going to happen because I sent this message, right?" When even if she is consenting to actually hooking up with him, there could be things in the moment that he he to do that she does not consent to. So, this whole situation is actually very dangerous and I think a huge red flag for a lot of reasons. But, this is not what consent is, okay? He is giving her a heads-up about what his expectations are, but this isn't consent. It's also not really coercion at the end of the day because there really is no ramification for her saying no to this other than there isn't going to be a relationship. Which at the end of the day does not seem like it's going to be her loss anyway. Is this manipulative? Yes, and I'm going to get into why I think this is more manipulative than most people think it is. However, it's not officially coercion. And it's interesting because when people are calling this voice memo conversation consent, not only are they forgetting that like consent needs to be a consistent thing, right?

[00:04:40][clears throat] And consent can be revoked at any time. It's not just a one-time like I consent to this and you consent to anything. This came up a lot in the video that I did about Conor McGregor, who I know people are talking about now, and the idea that, you know, in his court case, the reason why it was not in criminal court, it was in civil court, is because it's incredibly difficult to prove in a he said, she said conversation whether or not there was actually consent given because he's claiming that they what they did was consensual, she's claiming it wasn't. It's really hard to prove that beyond a reasonable doubt, which is why most criminals tend to get away with essay in those situations because again, it is really difficult to prove in criminal court. However, in in the Conor McGregor instance, you have a woman who went to the hospital because of physical injuries. That takes it from being just a rough consensual situation into assault. Nobody is consenting to being harmed so much they have to go to a hospital.

[00:05:39]And that's where you get into whether she did or not. She said she didn't, he said she did. Whether or not there was consent there. Consenting to a physical encounter with someone does not consent to anything. Like it's not like anything is up for grabs. Unless the two of you have sat down and actually had a conversation, which the vast majority of people are not. It's actually one of the reasons why I stand by I think people who are into like BDSM actually have a leg up on people who are like just, you know, having vanilla experiences.

[00:06:10]Because typically in a healthy BDSM situation, there is a lot of conversation around consent, safe words.

[00:06:17]You know, there's an implication that the stuff they're doing might be dangerous, but at the end of the day, no sexual encounter is ever really 100% safe. I do think that the voice memo guy conversation does open up the discussion of the fact that we do need more open conversations about sex. And if you're not willing to have an open conversation about sex, you probably shouldn't be having sex with someone, right? And and we don't we don't talk about it. And so I do I do agree with some of the people that have a take on this that like, "Okay, well, he's willing to talk about it." However, is he really willing to talk about it? Because he didn't sound very confident in his message. He was direct, but he didn't sound very confident in his message. Possibly because he didn't know how she was going to take this, but like there was a lot of hesitation and things like that. I mean, this this is going to sound so judgmental, but I'm telling you this voice memo guy does not sound like he would be good in bed. I'm just He doesn't. Like there it's the lack of confidence in his voice, kind of humming and hawing. This was not a man of confidence who sounded like he knew what he was doing. Just going to say it. Did not sound like that. So, he doesn't sound like somebody that is comfortable having a tough conversation. He's going to say what he expects, but he also Did he really say what he expects? Did he really Like if he's that concerned with compatibility, is just regular vanilla experiences is that really what he wants? I mean, if that's what he wants, fine. Like I'm not judging that. But that kind of warning is like, okay, is he is he going to throw other stuff at you, but he's not willing to talk to you about it. This actually reminds me very much of a a situation I was in. This was so many years ago. This guy that I was talking to, as we were talking, we got to a point where the conversation turned more sexual. And this guy was a walking red flag that I was just too young and dumb to see at the time. But he said to me, this is a phone conversation, mind you. This is back when people talked on the phone. That's how long ago this was.

[00:08:07]And he was like, you know, I'm into some really freaky stuff. I don't think you're going to be able to handle it.

[00:08:11]And I was like, like what? I mean, I at that point in time, and I still don't have like a ton of experience, but I wanted to know, you know, I mean, partly cuz I'm nosy, and because I wanted to be prepared, you know? He was like, no, you're not going to be able to handle it. And I was like, well, just tell me now, and I'll tell you if it's something that I can handle, I can't handle, or something that I, you know, I'm like, well, okay, we might need to work up to that, you know what I mean? Like that's like just tell me, and we'll do it. And he'd be like, no, no, no, no.

[00:08:40]Never told me. Because like what like one person's freaky and another person's freaky. Like there's a wide For some people, it's like freaky is like doing it with the lights on. For some people, it's like, okay, I'm going to go get the donkey. Like there's a wide range, right? So like you you have to be prepared. And like again, I wanted to have that conversation ahead of time, so I knew what to potentially expect. But I do think there are a lot of guys that actually I don't know if they do this consciously, but I think that they bank on women going into freeze mode. that they they convince themselves that that's not what's going on. And they convince themselves that they think they can get the woman turned on enough, she'll agree to anything. When typically it's because a woman ends up going into like freeze panic mode, and just goes along with it, and then afterwards it's just sort of like, oh my god, I did not want to do that, but I she just like froze and didn't know how to get herself out of it. Like it's a trauma response.

[00:09:27]But I think a lot of guys bank on that.

[00:09:28]And again, I don't I don't want to think that most men are sinister that way. I do think that some of them are, for sure. But I do think that some guys just kind of delude themselves through like porn culture and stuff into thinking that like, "Oh, well, if I just get her turned on enough and she'll be into anything." kind of thing. That's not usually what's going on. I will say the voice memo guy conversation does bring up another conversation that I remember having with a guy that I was really interested in and and we we were just in sort of we were just talking. We didn't actually go out, but you know, we were hitting it off. The guy checked a lot of boxes like I you know, was really into him. And at one point he says to me, he's like, "Look, I I need to share something with you." And he shared with me a fetish. I won't get into the details of it, but it was it was surprising. It wasn't like an unheard of one, but it was somewhat unusual. He was like, "This is something that's like really important to me. I just want to let you know." I mean, I did really like him. So, I asked myself if I thought that this was something I could move forward with. And I had to be really honest with myself and be like, "Can't do it." And so, I said to him, I said, "Look, respect it. It's just not for me.

[00:10:30]I appreciate that you felt comfortable enough sharing this with me, but I can't. It's just not who I am and if I would not be being true to myself if I move forward with this." He was so appreciative that I didn't just shame him, that I didn't just judge him or whatever. Because I mean, it wasn't I mean, it wasn't like anything criminal or anything like that. It was just outside the box, but like it just was further outside the box than I could do.

[00:10:55]We just, you know, realized that we weren't going to move forward with anything romantic and that was that. You know, I mean, it it was what it was. And I think you can have these conversations respectfully ahead of time and it can be done properly, but it it was interesting. In the the voice memo guy conversation, there was a lot of like he needs to know that that they're sexually compatible because he can't move forward if they're not sexually compatible, which is and like I said, his voice and his delivery and stuff, I'm like, "Sounds like he's going to be very good in bed." Like I don't think that this woman would be missing out on anything.

[00:11:27]He sounds like he'd be super selfish, too. Like he said like again, it's all about him and what he wants, which I find crazy because just biologically, physically, whatever, most men just need like an AIOF girl in their hand and they're good. So, like, what does he need to make sure that they're compatible with? Like, I mean, if she has all the parts, then it's, you know what I mean? Like, how much do guys need? At the end of the day, it's women that need a lot more in order to have an enjoyable experience. I mean, it it's statistically proven that, like, women overall, I think it's only like 13% of women actually finish during a, like, a one-night-stand situation, which if those numbers were reversed, men would never do it. Like, it's men only do it because it's the majority of the time it's it's a complete experience for them, whereas for women, overwhelmingly, they're not actually enjoying these casual experiences because for women, it's a lot more complicated than just a man showing up. For most of these guys, a real-life woman showing up is all they really need. So, the idea that he feels like he needs to make sure they're sexually compatible is like this is either him just lying because he just wants, you know, to hook up, or he's into something really weird and he's just not being as upfront about it. He's hemming and hawing over it under the guise of, "Yeah, I'm I'm being honest by telling you what I expect." In this voice memo, this guy basically said that their second date was going to be, I guess, him coming to her house, I think it was. Ladies, please, please, I am begging you. Like, I am pleading with you. Stop going to men's houses or inviting men to your house early on in dating. Do not do it. Like, stop doing it. This is a stranger. They should not even know where you live, okay? You should not be alone in a home with men that you do not know, okay? And this is this is not even about hookups. This is not this is literally about your physical safety. Stop doing it, okay?

[00:13:29]Here's the thing, when is the right time? When you actually trust him. Okay, when you actually trust him, and I realize that, you know, for a lot of for a lot of us we never trust men, but like again, when you can trust him and and one aspect of this voice memo conversation that I do think we need to talk about, ladies, is the voice memo guy did say the quiet part out loud is that ladies, if you go to a man's house or invite a man to your house, there is an expectation that physical intimacy is going to happen. It's Men are going to expect it.

[00:14:03]Now, that does not give a man a right to force you. That does not take away your right to revoke consent. That does not mean you are obligated in any way, but the expectation is there. It is absolutely there. No guy in the history of anything that is straight and going to a woman's house or or inviting a woman to his house to In In my day, it was like to watch a movie. Movie never got watched, okay? It became Netflix and chill. Like nobody's watching Netflix, okay? Like that's I mean, people watch it, but like in those situations, like that is a guy's for we're going to hook up. So, I mean, one thing I will say about the voice memo guy is he said the quiet part out loud, you know, I mean, he he literally was like, "All right, well, if we're if, you know, I'm going to go to your house, you know, this is what I'm expecting." That's what all guys expect, which which is exactly the reason why women should not be going to a person's house or inviting a guy to her house until she's ready to take the relationship to that level, which I would say on date two, universally, no.

[00:15:08]No, okay? Because I'm I'm anti-hookup culture. Don't with I'm going to get my You're not going to get yours, hun.

[00:15:14]You're not. You're not going to get yours. He's not going to be that good.

[00:15:17]Like it's not It's not going to be worth it at the end of the day. The voice memo guy, I guarantee you, is the kind of guy that claims he's a nice guy that always finishes last. He is the epitome of a guy who thinks he's being nice, who thinks he's a nice guy, and then when women are repulsed by it, he's like, "Yo, women just don't like nice guys."

[00:15:33]When it's like, "No, you're not really a nice guy." Like, men who self-report as nice guys are never nice guys. They usually do things under the guise of being nice, but they're actually being very selfish, or they're very like they're very covert narcissist or things like that. Like, that this guy screams like, "I'm just a nice guy and I always finish last." Like, that the whole like his voice, his tone, his delivery, his everything, like it just reeks of that.

[00:15:56]Like, this guy is the kind of guy that like thinks he's a nice guy, thinks what he's doing is the nice thing to do.

[00:16:01]Like, a nice guy does not have the audacity to expect a woman to open herself up sexually after like one date.

[00:16:09]And this would just be the second date.

[00:16:11]Like, that I mean, no nice guy actually expects that, right? The one thing about the voice memo guy and the concept of honesty that I'm not seeing anybody saying is this is This is actually very dangerous manipulation because it does look honest at first. Like, you might not like to hear it, but I'm just being honest. He expects to hook up on the second date, and he's just being honest.

[00:16:33]However, if you actually listen to the wording of this, what he's saying is he can't move forward with a relationship unless he knows if they have like that spark there. So, like he needs the physical intimacy to know if he's going to move forward in the relationship.

[00:16:48]That's where the manipulation happens because there's an implication there that if the experience goes well, so if she shows up and she performs for him, and it goes well, then they could have a relationship. But, the irony of that is any woman that agrees to this scenario of on a second date, he comes to her house, and they hook up, he's now put her in the category of hookup. He's not thinking about her as a relationship potential because she's proven that she's no respect for her body because she's willing to open it up to any man after just one date. She's proven that, you know, if she's willing to do that on the second date with him, she's probably doing that on the second date with a lot of guys. So, I guarantee you he's the kind of guy that wants a woman with a low body count in the long run, except that he's expecting this right away.

[00:17:32]That's the hypocrisy the manosphere has put men's mindsets in. This woman is now in the mistress category. She's not wife material. But, in the voice memo, he's making it sound as if like, "Well, if this goes really well and we have a physical connection, then we there could be a relationship here." So, there is a promise of like a potential there that's not going to be there. And look, it's manipulation. However, I will say I do think that a lot of men do this and they're completely not self-aware enough to know. Like, I think that they're just thinking in the moment like, "Well, I just want this right now." And like, "Yeah, maybe if it's good, I'll want to keep doing it with her." Not realizing that once this happens, he's like, "Yeah, I'm not going to be into her anymore." I think some guys do it and they knowingly know that that they're just lying and saying that there's a potential for a relationship knowing he's not going to respect her. I think some guys might delude themselves into thinking that, "Well, if it goes well, then we'll be in a relationship." So, I mean, I I guys lack a lot of self-awareness. So, some of the things that they do, I don't think that they're fully like conscious of. I think sometimes it's deliberate manipulation, sometimes it's just ignorance, which in either case is terrible. In either case, as a woman, run, okay? I do understand that like this voice memo guy was being honest in the sense that he's like, "Okay, this is what I expect." which is saying the quiet part out loud. If I'm going to go to your house, I expect something. Okay? But, it's not fully honest because there is the promise of a potential relationship, but at the end of the day, he's not going to respect you if you do agree to hook up with him.

[00:19:01]I mean, the voice memo guy and this whole conversation is the result of corn culture, OF girls, AI girlfriends now. I mean, men are consistently objectifying women even more than they were before. I know you're like, "Well, they always did." Yeah, they always did, but like it's getting worse. That's what guys are doing now is they're actually at a point where they're like, "Okay, well, they've built up so much sexual tension with all of these virtual women that they're just looking for a warm body to use as a receptacle for all of their sexual fantasies. I mean, that's basically that's basically what's going on here.

[00:19:41]Like, these guys are not like men are essentially being destroyed by this culture. And I've said this before, but I think it's worth reiterating. Hookup culture is the biggest problem with relationships nowadays. And again, this is not glorifying purity culture, which is saying that women's bodies are bad or wrong or shameful or, you know, men being attracted to women is something to be like shamed or something like that.

[00:20:02]Like, that's not what I'm talking about.

[00:20:03]But this the fact that it is so acceptable in our society to just assume that people should sleep together on a second date or a first date or a third date or something when you barely know this person is the reason why people are getting into relationships that they should not be in. It's the reason why the divorce rate is so high. It's the reason why you have so many shut up rings. It's the reason why you have so many like men making awful vows and smashing women's faces into the cake and all this kind of stuff is people are getting into relationships with people that they never should have been getting into relationships with. Hookup culture gives people a false sense of intimacy because the physical intimacy will then cloud other things, right? So, people end up getting into relationships with people that they literally should have gone on a couple dates with, realized they were incompatible, and just moved on. Because in some cases, the physical intimacy causes like a false sense of emotional connection, more often with women, but it can happen with men. You know, and or it creates this sort of comfort level of like, "Well, I'm getting I'm getting regular physical connection from this person, so why don't I just keep showing up?" Or, you know, maybe it's good or maybe it's whatever, but like there's nothing else there. And that often happens with men, but you know, it can happen with women, too. And you get these people that, you know, you do it often enough, eventually kid pops out, another kid pops out, the next thing you know, you've got these couples that are still together that hate each other, that are raising kids that know that their parents hate each other. Maybe they end up splitting, and now you've got a broken home, or maybe they stay together, and they're just utterly miserable because they never should have continued in this relationship in the first place. But because they jumped into bed together, they gave themselves this like false sense of connection that never should have been there in the first place. And, you know, there's a big lie in society that well, you have to make sure that you're physically compatible with someone before you can get into a serious relationship with them. Now, look, there are aspects to that, right?

[00:21:48]I mean, there are certain, you know, I mean, if you're into some really weird, out there stuff, you want to make sure that you're with somebody who's not going to be freaked out by that. Like, I mean, I get it. But for the average person, right, a physical connection with somebody, and that's where like corn culture has rotted people's brains, is that people expect to like show up and just, oh, sparks are going to fly, fireworks are going to go off, and like everybody, you're going to know each other's bodies and everything like that.

[00:22:14]When it's like, you can get to know each other physically, and like that, that physical intimacy can happen over time.

[00:22:21]Like, that's something that people can, if if you're both open-minded and willing to work together to create that bond, and you're not just looking for like your own selfish, whatever to recreate some scene that you're doing somewhere, or to kind of just, you know, use your girlfriend as a an AI doll or something like that, whatever. I mean, you know, like, if you actually are two people who want to have a physical connection, you can work on that. What you can't work on is do you have shared values? Do you have, you know, compatible lifestyles? Do you both want the same things in life? Can you trust the other person? Is this person someone you can rely on? Like, those are things that are not going to grow and evolve with time. Like, those are just things that people either have or they don't have and you have to check those boxes first before you worry about your other box. Like, because the physical intimacy and I'm not I'm not saying it's irrelevant, it's important. But, like, we have this diluted concept that it's like, "Well, you either have the connection or you don't." Like, that's something that couples can work on if both people are willing to work on it. Now, obviously, knowing if somebody is willing to show up and work on something with you, that's important because if they're willing to do that in the bedroom, they're going to be willing to do that in life in general. Like, there's so many other aspects that you need to get to know about someone to know if you're compatible that are completely outside the bedroom. In most cases with, you know, obviously some exceptions, but in most cases, the stuff in the bedroom, that's stuff that can be worked on.

[00:23:46]Like, that's stuff that you can you can work on together once you've built the foundation of other things. But, if those other things, like, if you can't trust him [clears throat] because a man that doesn't keep his word, then or, you know, if you as a man just, you know, are with a woman who wants a completely different lifestyle than what you desire, so you two are never going to be on the same page about that, how you are in the bedroom together is irrelevant.

[00:24:09]Like, it means nothing. Like, I'm telling you, hookup culture is what's destroying relationships. It's what's destroying human connection in general.

[00:24:17]The way that the manosphere has totally rotted men's brains, like, it it's again, it's porn culture, but it's also the manosphere of the idea that, like, men expect women to put out by like the second date, first date, third date, whatever with a guy she barely knows.

[00:24:32]But, yet, they're like, "Well, she needs to have a low body count. She We want to marry a virgin." It's like, "Well, how does that work? Like, how Like, so a woman is only allowed to actually like ever go on like one first date or one second date or whatever her entire life because if she had if because you're she's required to sleep with you. So, if she doesn't marry you, then it's like, "Well, she's used goods." And you don't care. I mean, talk about dehumanizing, but also talk about hypocrisy because by that standard, you're never actually going to end up getting into a relationship with a woman that has a low body count or is a virgin because you're never going to be willing to continue to date her because she's not putting out.

[00:25:04]It's interesting with this voice memo guy, I'd be very curious if she actually said to him like, "No, I expect an actual second date to go out and and I will not sleep with you and I will not like do not go to somebody's house cuz that's just that's a recipe for disaster. But if she were to and I'm not saying she should have. I mean, the guy's a walking red flag. But like if she had said like, "No, I expect an actual second date." I mean, the if the conversation was around going to her house, then obviously that's what he expected in the first place. But like if they had had a conversation like like I wonder if a woman who had said no, I expect a second date and I'm not going to sleep with you right away. Like I I wonder if he would actually have stepped up for that. Now again, the fact that he did what he did, already a red flag.

[00:25:42]Women have to step up and start taking control over what we have control over.

[00:25:49]And look, I still think men are the problem. You know, all the corn culture and the OF and the everything exists because men are customers of it. Yeah, hookup culture happens because men objectify women. Like men are the problem. I'm not saying they're not. But at the end of the day as women, we can't control them. I wish we could, but we can't, okay? But as women, we need to step up and say we will not be objectified. We will We need to step up and say we are not going to participate in this because it's not in our best interest because hookup culture does not benefit women at all. It doesn't. It's not like I've said before, this is in my Emily Ratajkowski video, sexual liberation does not empower women. It does not. It there's nothing empowering about it. As women, we need to stop exploiting ourselves. We need to stop participating in the exploitation. We need to stop doing the OF. We need to stop doing the corn. And I understand a lot of these women are getting trafficked into this and everything and that's a whole other conversation, but like as women, we need to step up and stop participating. Like we need to stop doing it because if we stop doing it, men are going to have to adjust. They're going to have to and I There's people that are like, "Well, they're just going to force it." By giving in to them, we're not making it better. I mean, it's literally been getting exceedingly worse over time. And it's not like it's not like rape culture and things like that have gotten better since women decided to start giving it away. Like, it's actually getting worse. As women, we need to stop allowing this exploitation.

[00:27:10]We need to stop defending guys who think that that hooking up on a second date is an acceptable thing cuz "Well, I just want to get mine." Girl, you're not going to get yours. Like, you're not going to get yours from a guy like this.

[00:27:21]Like, and and let's be real. As a woman, like if I've said this before, if you as a woman are having like really phenomenal hookup experiences with, you know, these guys or whatever that are just like one-night stands or blah blah blah or regular guys that you're hooking up with, it's you. It's not them. It's you. You could have that experience with anybody. Like, and more power to you, but it's not like these men are so great. Like, it's not. It's just you.

[00:27:47]And mo- for most women, it's not going to be satisfying. It's not. If you're going to argue, "Oh, I'm sad blah blah blah. I'm a I'm an S-worker and I love it." No, you don't. You are deluding yourself into thinking that you love it because you love getting the money for it. You literally have to rot your brain in order to think that this is acceptable because it is absolutely degrading to yourself. It's degrading to other women. And like, oh, I I keep saying this. This feels like a common theme that's been coming up in so many of my videos is we have to as a society we've gotten so individualistic. And I do believe in individual responsi- bility and and and a lot of that stuff, but we've become so individualistic that we think, "Well, because we make this choice." As as if we live on an island and there isn't a ripple effect that affects everybody. Like, I say all the time. Like, women who are willing to exploit themselves to advance their career. Like, it's not just your choice to do that with your body. You've now set the standard that all women have to do that in order to advance in their career. Like, it becomes the requirement. You know what I mean? And in as a woman, I I if the OF trend is going crazy. And they're like, "Well, I'm a woman, I can do what I want with my body." But you're also rotting men's brains, which is making men awful for the entire society. I mean, it is destroying men. I know you don't care about men, but like as women, we still need to live on the planet with them.

[00:29:01]So, you're literally making the world a miserable place for every woman that exists because you're you're rotting men's brains. Now, granted, it's men's responsibility to step up and get over this stuff. Like I'm not taking that responsibility away from them, but as women, we can't control that. I wish we could, but we can't. Like all we can do is control ourselves and I think there's too much of like women like, "Well, I want to hook up or I want to do OF or I want to be an S worker or I want to I want to sleep my way to the top and it's my body and it's my choice." And it's like, "Okay, but you realize your choices have a ripple effect on the society as a whole. We all do. Like we don't live on an island. Like unless you actually go off and live on an island and then you're probably not watching this video cuz you don't have Wi-Fi, so you don't count. Like we need to acknowledge that, you know, this stuff is not okay. And there probably are women that would go along with this voice note guy and be like, "Well, yeah, I just want to hook up." Well, you're contributing to hookup culture, which is a poison that is destroying our society.

[00:29:57]So, some guy can flop on top of you and you are like, "This was all this was?"

[00:30:02]Like it's not going to be good. I wish women would stop exploiting themselves and I realize that I mean, the [ __ ] are winning like I keep saying like you know, I realize and I've been saying this is a theme in a lot of my videos because it's true. I I realize that, you know, the women that are exploiting themselves are getting heavily rewarded in society. It's deteriorating men, it's destroying relationships, it's destroying I mean, because men are just awful people now. The voice memo guy conversation really is another example of this this overwhelming thing I've been seeing with men is audacity. Men today have this level of audacity that I I find unfathomable. My My can't comprehend it, but the audacity of somebody to expect access to someone's body in the most intimate way, which unfortunately in our society it's been completely destroyed. We act as if it's it's no big deal. It's just sex, whatever. It's like, no, that's actually pretty powerful. I mean, you're talking about, you know, from a a medical perspective. I came of age in the '90s, which was the the remnants of the AIDS epidemic. So, like, the idea that that nowadays people are having, you know, such casual encounters is like my brain can't can't comprehend that. Something powerful enough to create a new life.

[00:31:19]It's an exchange of energies that is not something that I think should be messed with lightly. I mean, it's actually, I think, one of the big problems now is that we're just exchanging those energies with just anybody and not really paying attention to it. And I mean, that's I mean, I think that's really messing people up. I mean, we need to stop acting like this this hookup culture thing is just like no big deal. It's a big freaking deal. The audacity that these men have, that they think they deserve access to women's bodies with minimal effort, is actually insane. Look, this is the thing. Men know this, they just don't want to admit it because I think that a lot of them just want short-term gratification. But men won't respect you if you don't make them earn access to your body.

[00:32:01]They'll complain about it all the time.

[00:32:03]They'll tell you that they expect this or they expect that or whatever. They they might just up and leave if you don't give them what they want, which, you know, good riddance if that's the case. But like, men will not respect you if you don't make them earn access to your body. Because even if they're really pressuring you early on and you give in, something's going to click in their brain, you know, in the moment they're going to be like, "Yay, look at what I got. Something for nothing." He's not going to value you because he got you for nothing. Something's going to click in his brain probably afterwards where he's going to be like, "Wait a second, if she's willing to give me this with no effort, well, first of all, how much value could she be, whether it was good or not, like how much value could she be, and also, he's going to be like, she probably does this with everybody.

[00:32:49]Like he might think he's special when he gets it in the beginning, but like afterwards, he's going to be like, well, she obviously gives it to everybody, so it's not going to have much value. I mean, that's I mean, that's just life, and I know I know that like, you know, the younger generations like, you're just old and you don't get it, and I'm like, yeah, I'm old, so I get it. In that the Sex and the City where everybody worships Samantha Jones and everybody thought that it was like oh, it's just that, it's not a big deal, blah blah blah. No, it is a big deal, it is, and I mean, the idea that we've we've commercialized it so much, we've monetized it, we you know, it's it's become so exploitative, and and now men have like the pure audacity to think that that they're owed access to our bodies, but they're not going to value our bodies if we just give away access to them. There's no way you can condition anybody to think otherwise, that's just human nature, and we just got to accept it. Again, I do think that with the voice memo guy, I do appreciate the fact that he is I mean, he's he was he was waving his red flag around. Like he's like, hey, here's my red flag, I'm just going to whack it over your head, and if you don't see the red flag, but honestly, like I don't know how the conversation went before that, but the fact that obviously the conversation was that he was going to go to her house for the second date, she's already dragged her value down by not expecting a proper second date. Now, he may not be the one that would have given it to her, and that's fine, because if he doesn't want to give you a proper second date, you don't need him anyway. And and before anybody's like, you just want free meal.

[00:34:11]If money is really that a big of a problem for you, don't date. Worry about making more money so that you can actually be a provider for a family that you might create if you cuz if you as a man are that nitpicky about a meal or her wanting a free meal, then are you actually going to be able to financially support a child that may come out of this hookup? If you're that concerned with having to buy her a meal, what about buying formula for a baby you might create by hooking up with this girl? Or diapers, or you know, whatever.

[00:34:41]Like, what about that? You thinking about that? Probably not. And as a man, you don't know if you can trust her. I mean, there is a flip side to that.

[00:34:48]Where as a man, you know, men talk now about baby trapping and things like that. What do you know? There are consequences to having a a hookup with someone, for men and for women. The consequences are greater for women, for sure. But, men have consequences to it, too. So, as men, maybe you should get to know women that you hook up with more, so that you know whether or not you can trust her with your body, or access to your body, or access to your life. I mean, you know, we we all need to get to know each other first before we just start giving away access to our bodies, our lives, or whatever. Like, it's just Oh, this is just getting so crazy. So, yeah, that was my rant about the voice memo guy. If you want to hear the actual full context of the voice memo, you can probably search it at It came up pretty easily for me. Love to hear your thoughts about this. There's probably other topics on this that I've missed. I just saw this this morning and was like, okay, I got to get this I got to get some stuff off my chest. I already got too much on here, anyway. Again, I apologize for the feedback noise. It's just like way too much of a heat wave for me to turn off the AC. But, yeah, if you have any thoughts on any topics in this video, or anything in any other video requests, let me know. Leave a comment in the comment section below.

[00:35:51]I'd love to hear from you. If you enjoyed this video and found it helpful, please give it a big thumbs up, and be sure you subscribe to my channel.

[00:35:57]Honestly, any engagement on this channel really helps to boost it in the algorithm, so more people can get this message, and I really do think these messages are important. If you would like to heal your pick me energy, so you don't have to deal with guys like the voice memo guy, and you can just kick him to the curb when guys like that show up, check out my guided journals, recovering pick me girl guided journal, and the dark feminine energy guided journal. They're both available on Amazon. Details in the description box below, along with links to all my social media accounts. Thank you so much for watching, and I hope you join me next time.