Our identity has morphed into a digital one - no one knows who they are anymore

Added: 2026-05-26

[00:00:00]One of the dangers of social media and the digital world apart from the addiction is that you learn that other people decide who you are.

[00:00:16]For many people, likes, followers, comments, subscribers, views, engagement is all linked to how much they're worth.

[00:00:33]And you see this because there is a thing called the algorithm. There is someone something to please.

[00:00:43]There are some certain rules that you can follow in order to be successful in the digital world. There are people who tell you how you can be successful in the digital world by doing this and this and this and this. The fact that we have even called something success that if you have many followers then you're successful like that in itself I think is dangerous. But I also think about how much we're influenced by social media, by people on social media, by the internet in general, influenced by how people live, how they behave, what they wear, what surgeries they have. Like there is this standard in a way.

[00:01:33]And if you see that someone is successful and they look like this and they they act like this, then it's easy to just copy that.

[00:01:44]And the same goes if you're sharing stuff online and you see that, okay, this got 20 views and this got 2,000 views.

[00:01:57]Okay, so that must mean that this is more important. This is more worthy.

[00:02:02]this is more successful and to hell with what is true to me or what is what is worthy to me. But I can see that okay this this is be becoming more successful. This is becoming more viewed. This is something that people want to watch. This is something people want to look at. So I have to do more of that. And that teaches us that it's not important to do the things that you find joyful or you find important because someone else is deciding what is more important and what is more worthy.

[00:02:37]And when you start to listen to that, then you start to believe that. And I just got to thinking today that if no one's told you that you're beautiful, how do you know that you're beautiful?

[00:02:48]If no one's told you that you're worth something, how do you know that you're worth something?

[00:02:54]If no one's been kind to you, how do you know what kindness feels like? If no one has told you what you're good at, how would you know what you're good at? So, it all in all, it just becomes a world where we depend so much on what other people think and feel and how others react to us or how others validate us, how others mirror us. And that is so natural because we're humans and we need that mirroring from other people. We we need that validation or acknowledgement in order to know ourselves. It it's it's why we need other people.

[00:03:38]It's not just for connection and safety and feeling loved, but it's also to to form a sense of identity. And we do that in childhood, but we also do that, you know, throughout our whole life because we're constantly changing and evolving, growing. And so if you don't know yourself, then it's easy to be caught up in what others expect of you or what others deem as valuable.

[00:04:12]and you end up relying on that exterior validation, that exterior acknowledgement and mirroring of you. And it just goes to show how few people actually know themselves. We would not be so addicted to the digital world if we actually knew ourselves. If we loved ourselves, if we if we had a strong sense of self, a strong sense of identity inside where we we knew our strengths, we knew our value, we knew what we're good at.

[00:04:52]But the thing is that we we can't really we can't really reach that by just mirroring ourselves.

[00:05:02]As I said before, like if no one tells you you're beautiful, how would you know you're beautiful?

[00:05:08]It's it's a natural human thing to need that mirroring in order to have a sense of self. But I think when that need gets transferred into the digital world, so it's not about relating in the real world and mirroring um mirroring yourself in other people in the real world, but it's about mirroring yourself online.

[00:05:33]I think that that becomes really problematic because being online is not about being yourself. It's about your ego. It's about the mask you show to the world. It's about your persona and not so much about who you really are. And I I can say from experience that I thought for many years that sharing my art online for instance that that would connect me with people in a way that I would have a feeling of people knowing me, people relating to me and vice versa that there would be some sort of real connection. But what I've realized is that people were only really interested in what I had to offer. what did I what did I bring to the table? What what could they get from my art? Um, and not so much about okay, here's a person that is valuable that I want to relate to, which is I think how it really should be and how it is in the real world when you relate to people authentically.

[00:06:41]It is recognizing that there's someone here of value and that you're of value and there is mirroring here in that meeting.

[00:06:49]Whereas when you're online, there's so many factors. And first of all, everything seems less important, less um urgent, less valuable in a way because you can just swipe onto the next thing and there's always someone else and there's always someone that is better or there always someone who's who is creating that art in a better way or sharing this message in a better way.

[00:07:20]There's always that like it's always more stuff coming up and it's very rare that you really go online and you slow down. You actually um delve into something like watch something to learn something and you go inwards and like you're not really present when you're online. So, it's very fast-paced. It's not as special as relating to people in the real world.

[00:07:55]That's just one aspect of it. But then there's also this fast-paced um this these fast-paced trends that there are different trends like different things that is deemed beautiful or trendy or successful and that changes all the time. So, there's no real grounding feeling. There's no real certainty. there's no real value in a way because it's also fleeting and it's also quickly changing and you have to keep up with that and that's really stressful to keep up with and then there's this whole as I talked about before when you're an artist or when you're sharing your art online and actually having a need for that connection and feeling like I mean for me like art is so personal so It's it's natural, I think, to feel that you want to connect and and um feel like you're you're you're known in a way for who you are. I mean, there it's just a whole world of confusion and inauthenticity because then like there's this fast-paced stuff and this constantly changing trends and things like that and then there's this focus on on ego and persona and using filters and having surgeries and normalizing all that which is also just increasing this sense of inauthenticity that that what you see is not what you get. Like what you see is a mask. It's a persona. It's not the real person. And maybe that's why some people are really good at being successful online because they can find or figure out what they need to do to be successful and they can keep that distance between themselves as humans and then the product that they come with or whatever. Whereas I feel like what I when I share something, it's something that that means something and I always have this feeling of wanting to connect to people. But of course, it's hard to do that online because it's not not the same as in real life. There's also sort of a an illusion, I think, about the digital world that you think that it's a way to connect, but in reality, you're just coming further and further away from other people. And in many ways, maybe it becomes even harder to relate in the real world. The more you try to relate online, I know that my true purpose in terms of other people is is not to connect online. It's to connect in the real world. So if if 10 people sees what I share, then that's just a good thing because that just means that maybe I'll have more connections in the real world instead of of putting so much emphasis and so much value into the digital world and how to behave or how to follow the rules in there. I would rather be free of that and then actually have real connections in the real world. And I guess coming back to the thing about the digital world is a way for you to know yourself through others. So when others validate you online or others follow you or you get lots of views or something then you you get a stronger sense of self or a stronger sense of ego in reality because if you're separated your your real self from your online self then is it really like are you really getting a sense of self? Are you really getting a stronger sense of self by being successful online or are you getting a stronger sense of ego and persona and your real self is being abandoned in a way? I think no matter no matter what like no matter if if the online world is a way for you to get a stronger sense of self or if the online world is a way for you to get a stronger sense of ego or persona. I think it's not really a good idea either way because like in both instances we are first of all relying on someone else to tell us who we are and not someone else in the real world but someone online people that actually don't know us are telling us who we are and mirroring us in a way that makes sense to them. And this is also like when you see videos about personal branding and stuff like that, like what I've come to believe about that or understand about that is that the brand is what the customers see your business as. So it's it's their perception of you.

[00:12:52]And so like already in in a case like that, it's like well then if if someone else tells you who you are, then it's really easy to get away from your own sense of self or your own sense of identity, whether or not that's as a person or as a business. When you're so caught up in what other people think, I just think it becomes really damaging and confusing. so confusing because there will always be someone who has a particular opinion or a particular way they see you. So all in all the digital world is just a way to once again escape ourselves because if we did not have that option we were forced to ask ourselves who am I like who is this person through my own mind through my own consciousness how do I perceive myself or how do I feel internally when I'm completely cut off from other people and their opinions of me and being there is one of the most important things I think for a human because we're all through our lives we're constantly bombarded with other people and their opinions and their perception of us their mirroring of us that tells us who we are. If we don't ever get a break from that, do we ever really get a chance to figure out who we are without the influence of other people?

[00:14:30]And if we like if we need that validation, acknowledgement and mirroring from others, I feel like it should be in real life from someone who who actually truly knows us and cares about us and are able to see us not in a fragmented way and not in a stagnant way, but able to see how we are ever evolving. So I just feel like the internet just becomes such a damaging place to be at times because it's I mean especially for young people or like children or teenagers there are still in those years of developing their brain and and constantly being influenced by how other people live or how other people look and just seeing someone who is really successful, someone who has tons of subscribers or tons of views and you look at what they do and how they look and you think that, okay, in order to be worthy I have to look like that or do that because they have tons of followers, they have tons of views.

[00:15:47]you're just as valuable, just as worthy if you have no one witnessing you or the things you do or if you have millions witnessing it and supporting it. Like that's the only difference is that one person is following, pleasing the algorithm and following the steps they're supposed to follow in order to be successful online.

[00:16:14]But someone who's not following those steps, they're still successful.

[00:16:18]They're just choosing to follow their own path. I feel like it's important for us to know ourselves to be able to look inwards and understand ourselves.

[00:16:34]So that when we do connect with others and we do um find ourselves in a situation where we are mirrored by someone then we will be mirrored either in a way that lifts us up or supports our own understanding about ourselves or it's going to be someone who sees something completely different. And either way, it's going to be an interesting experience instead of not knowing who you are and relying so much on what other people think and feel about you and then shaping yourself into that.

[00:17:10]Like shaping yourself into their perception so that you can match their perception so that you can feel accepted and loved.

[00:17:21]But it's all just fake.