Connor Wood Gets Riled Up

Added: 2026-06-04

[00:00:00]If I was in college being like, "Oh, you guys are going to Ralph's. I'll be at Trader Joe's with my paper bag." You know, we do paper bags here at Trader Joe's because it's a health food store.

[00:00:09]>> Exactly. You're trading.

[00:00:10]>> It's a trade.

[00:00:13]It form to table. That's what Trader Joe's was.

[00:00:19]>> How was your show?

[00:00:21]>> It was Well, it was fun. It was really fun. Are we recording right now? Oh, wow. Okay, cool. Okay. It was so awesome.

[00:00:29]Um, it did sell out cuz I bought the last six tickets.

[00:00:34]>> Yeah, >> I love you.

[00:00:36]>> It was it was going to sell out even if I had to call the credit card company and say it wasn't me. Um, there could have been 100. I would have called and said that wasn't. So, on paper, it still would have sold out. But, it's hard doing shows in LA.

[00:00:47]>> Why?

[00:00:47]>> Yeah. And during this festival, >> it's hard in LA period, but especially during this festival. It's brutal.

[00:00:54]>> Why is it brutal? Well, just because you're competing with so many other shows, also we are in a recession. No one has any money to spend. They have to be absolutely in love with you to see you.

[00:01:07]>> Yeah. Bobby yesterday. I was supposed to go with him to what's his name? Ted Sarandos.

[00:01:11]>> Oh, yeah. The brunch.

[00:01:12]>> The the brunch.

[00:01:13]>> The notorious brunch.

[00:01:14]>> Then I flaked on him.

[00:01:16]>> Oh, no. Nothing really comes across my desk.

[00:01:18]>> Okay.

[00:01:19]>> Trust me, it didn't come across my desk.

[00:01:21]I was just a plus one. How did Because last year Bobby like literally had a mental breakdown.

[00:01:26]>> He had a mental breakdown. He saw all the famous Asians at Sando's brunch except him. He was like, "Why iskco there? Why is um um Jimmy O Yang? Why is everyone there but him?" So he got invited this year and he was like, "Kyla, like you got to come with me."

[00:01:41]>> I flicked on him like early last morning. Early yesterday morning >> because I had to do blood work and I was like, you know, my health is bigger than Ted >> I think more important. Um, but he >> That's how we know you're not a comedian. You know, >> that's honestly I am so like this doesn't seem fun at all.

[00:01:57]>> I was about to miss my grandma's funeral for Grace Ali's podcast. I was like, whatever. She was 94. I said everything I Yeah, she would have.

[00:02:08]>> I put in some of my my dad like some jokes about my dad who was just getting heart surgery.

[00:02:13]>> Is he okay?

[00:02:14]>> Totally fine. And that's the vibe that I got in the show too when I like put they were like I was like we're at my show he's I wouldn't do it crazy like my dad got heart surgery >> didn't go like soundboard no I >> that's more like my comedy style I feel like >> yeah your grandma thing like really got out of hand for a lot of people like people were worked up about all my stuff wishing my grandma was dead then when she was dying yeah it's our family we're allowed to >> do as Please.

[00:02:45]>> Yeah. I mean, I'm running my set past him in the hospital cuz I had to work on it and now like he's dying and he laughing. Um, no, he's in Texas.

[00:02:53]>> Okay.

[00:02:54]>> Wait, let's introduce Let's do a proper.

[00:02:56]Okay, so we have returning champion with I see a new hairstyle. We're going to need to talk about it.

[00:03:00]>> I see some pink.

[00:03:01]>> Ali Makovski. Did you Is this Kool-Aid hair dye? That's what it like looks like in the best.

[00:03:07]>> It does kind of look like that. No, it's professional. Um, but I've washed it a lot of times, so it's kind of fading now.

[00:03:14]>> I saw you like last week. How many times?

[00:03:18]>> Well, I I actually I don't know.

[00:03:20]>> I know.

[00:03:21]>> I don't watch that often, but I don't think I think I've I haven't seen you as often as you think.

[00:03:27]>> Okay, maybe I'm like Connor and I just saw your name and was like, I know her.

[00:03:30]And then we have our first time guest, long time chasing him. Love him. Connor Wood, comedian extraordinaire. Welcome.

[00:03:38]>> Thank you. Was it Is that real?

[00:03:40]>> Yeah. We love you.

[00:03:41]>> Oh my god. I love you guys.

[00:03:43]>> Yeah. I think I've been like DMing you since like last year.

[00:03:46]>> It has.

[00:03:48]You were in Hawaii. Bobby had a show. I was like, "Hey, come to the show." I've been trying it. Yeah. Wait. I'm sorry to be so like boring question, but I did read that you were laid off in CO and then I was like, "What? What was your job?"

[00:04:02]>> I worked in tech.

[00:04:05]>> Really?

[00:04:05]>> I got let laid off of bird.

[00:04:07]>> Oh my god.

[00:04:08]The big bird layoffs.

[00:04:10]>> The big I was I was one of them. I was part of that. Wow. You heard?

[00:04:13]>> Yes.

[00:04:14]>> Yeah. I I was there. Yeah. Laid off on a Zoom laid off on a Zoom call that was automatic or it was like pre-recorded.

[00:04:22]>> No.

[00:04:22]>> And they were like 500 of you.

[00:04:24]>> We have >> decided to award you with no longer working here. And it was like worded like that. It was like backwards worded where I was like wait did we just get did we just get fired?

[00:04:34]>> Working here. You're not coming.

[00:04:37]>> That happened to me when I worked at Johnny Rockets. They were like, "You've been promoted to guest."

[00:04:42]>> I was like, "H >> That's crazy."

[00:04:44]>> Cool.

[00:04:45]>> That happened to me at Figaro Beastro.

[00:04:48]>> Those [ __ ] [ __ ] Yeah.

[00:04:50]>> Yeah. The food is ass. Don't go there.

[00:04:53]>> What do they say?

[00:04:54]>> It was Thanksgiving, one of the holiest holidays. I was with my family and I looked at the schedule that they sent and I wasn't on it. And so I called my manager. I was like, "Hey, I'm not on the schedule." And she's like, "Yeah, we just figured you like wouldn't want to come in anymore."

[00:05:12]And I was like, "Oh, is that what you figured?"

[00:05:15]She was right. But like, let me say that.

[00:05:18]>> Wait, so what what would your life be like if you were still working in tech?

[00:05:22]>> It's such a good question. I I really >> would you be like a huge jerk?

[00:05:27]>> I hope not. Um, there's no way to know cuz I hated my job. So, it probably would have pushed me to >> being an [ __ ] but I was bad at my job as well. So, I would have probably >> the comedian like it was already coming out of you.

[00:05:40]>> Something had to happen. I was lying about like my resume and my GPA and my job history and everything. So, just to get these jobs and then I'd get there and be like, I don't know what what what coding is, you know? And I'd learn it on YouTube and then I would go.

[00:05:53]>> You do have a face where like you could tell me anything and I would believe you. Like there's so much sincerity in your face that if you were like, "Oh, I actually know how to build airplanes."

[00:06:01]I'd be like, "Of course you do. You catch me if you can face."

[00:06:04]>> Yeah. Really?

[00:06:05]>> Oh my god.

[00:06:06]>> Yes. I concur.

[00:06:08]>> Yeah. Catch me if you can remake.

[00:06:10]>> I listened to your most recent episode with Brooke and you said something that >> You listened to it?

[00:06:16]>> I listened to it.

[00:06:17]>> Oh my god. Thanks.

[00:06:18]>> And you said something that blew my mind. And this is one of your exact words, but this is what I felt is that the guy who invented infinite scrolling >> is basically a war criminal.

[00:06:30]>> Yeah.

[00:06:31]>> Wait, what's infinite scrolling?

[00:06:32]>> Well, you know, like back in the day with MySpace, it stopped somewhere. You looked at something and it the page just stopped.

[00:06:38]>> Oh. Uhhuh.

[00:06:39]>> Now it's like you can go on.

[00:06:41]>> Even Instagram would stop, right?

[00:06:43]>> Yeah. You had to click load more at least. Like you had to like acknowledge and intentionally be like load more stuff. It's true. I think that, you know, it's sort of like the reason why we're kind of rotted up here.

[00:06:57]>> Like it just never ends for us.

[00:07:00]>> Yeah.

[00:07:00]>> The doom scroll was invented by this guy.

[00:07:03]>> Wait, why is he a war criminal?

[00:07:04]>> Ally, >> what has he done?

[00:07:06]>> I feel like you're not registering that this is we're at war. This is a war in our brains.

[00:07:12]>> Oh, >> like we're not okay as a culture.

[00:07:16]>> Okay. It's like metaphorically he's a war criminal.

[00:07:19]>> Yes. Metaphorically. Metaphorically. I should have specified.

[00:07:22]>> I'm not smart enough to answer that part.

[00:07:24]>> But the tweet I was like just rereading a tweet which is like half of the things we clip unfortunately are me being like I read this tweet and then we clip it and it looks like I said this thing. But it was that the guy that created the user interface of the infinite scroll might have caused more deterioration for humanity than Oenheimer nuclear bomb >> just like in terms of lasting impact which can't be good. I have been getting better at like if I'm watching >> I do like the pimple videos are really getting it out.

[00:07:58]>> So I heard that there's actually a study that men don't find that >> Yeah. They're not into it.

[00:08:03]>> They're not into it at all. And there's like a biological reason for that. It's because women um we have the need to prune and clean and take care of like the people around us and our young, you know, and babies and stuff like that.

[00:08:16]Men don't have that. So, it's very entertaining for us. I'm I I find it interesting that you like that.

[00:08:21]>> I find it interesting that I like that as well >> because Dr. Pimple Popper says 99% of her audience is like female.

[00:08:27]>> So is 90% of my audience. Yeah.

[00:08:30]>> What do you guys think about toenail cliin videos >> that it depends their levels. If it's just ingrowns on the side, I'm game. If it starts to do the fungus, I'm out.

[00:08:42]Like I hate >> toenails, finger or injury to that area.

[00:08:46]Not not for me. What about you like that?

[00:08:48]>> Oh, I love it.

[00:08:49]>> Can I defend the scroll for a moment?

[00:08:53]>> Yeah.

[00:08:54]>> I have thoughts cuz I have Thank you. I have been like battling this because okay, yes, the scroll especially like I'm a new mom mode. I'm pumping and I'm scrolling, right? And then I do notice that I'm like like my brain is fried from it. But then I also do feel like there is that happy medium where when you're like when I scroll like I find I learn stuff and like I laugh and there's joy and there's there's fear. But like, is it that bad if you're doing it like the healthy way?

[00:09:27]>> Are you retaining things that you're learning? Cuz I find that I'm not retaining anything anymore because it's just the turnover is too much too fast.

[00:09:36]>> Okay, let me give you a specific example that I didn't want to give. Like I was scrolling and I come across this account and it's it's a midwife and she's like sharing all this stuff that I'm finding to be super interesting and it's resonating with me. I DM her a question.

[00:09:52]She DMs me back. We're going back and forth. We're having a conversation now.

[00:09:55]I love She says like things that I think are gold. Like I wouldn't have had that experience if I didn't scroll.

[00:10:04]>> But I think that that's not an example of like mindless scrolling. Like you're engaging. You're actually seeking something out for yourself and for the purpose of feeding your child. I'm talking about my algorithm where it's like these women I think in South America and they're like rolling these balls and depending on where the ball you get those depending on where the ball lands you can either go home with a fish >> what >> chicken um a new blender >> and I watch all 10 minutes of it >> and I watch over and o I don't miss a second and I'm there for 3 hours just watching these women in who knows where >> chicken when you're not texting me back.

[00:10:41]Yeah, you're watching women get I'm blocked. I'm logged in. I can't leave.

[00:10:46]>> I get it. I I was hitting so many of those like brainless YouTube like almost troll videos like what is this even? What am I doing here? And so I stopped getting on Instagram for like a week.

[00:11:00]>> Amazing.

[00:11:01]>> And I got on Twitter.

[00:11:03]>> And I'm on Twitter watching four people die at 8 a.m., you know? So it's like that can't be good for me either. I'd rather watch the ball rolling. Get the blender.

[00:11:12]>> I know. It's so exciting. And now I'm guess what my algorithm is now.

[00:11:17]>> What?

[00:11:17]>> I mean, guess you know our medical anxieties and pandemic stuff.

[00:11:21]>> Haunt virus.

[00:11:22]>> Yes. Are we scared? I've been meaning to ask you.

[00:11:24]>> I mean, it sounds haunt.

[00:11:26]>> It haunt is scary, right?

[00:11:28]>> Scary. Not a good name.

[00:11:30]>> Yeah. Are we scared?

[00:11:31]>> I know nothing. I'm scared.

[00:11:33]>> What?

[00:11:34]>> You're supposed to know this stuff for me.

[00:11:35]>> No, I just know that. Okay, here's the upside is a HANA has been around a while and it for a long time is well studied.

[00:11:41]>> Yeah. I think that we have like COVID trauma and >> I feel like everyone's obsessed with outbreaks now.

[00:11:46]>> Yeah. And as we've all got our eyes on these little >> everyone wants to discover the next pandemic and like >> they want to be the new whistleblower which you were. I as the original CO whistleblower like HANA is not giving co I just months before like I was on Reddit and I was like I just knew it was coming.

[00:12:06]>> I would say as early as like August 2019.

[00:12:09]>> Wow.

[00:12:09]>> I was like this is it's happening like this is the one and no one believed me and I had to go on Lexapro and my therapist my therapist who specifi specified an OCD she literally I'll never forget this. She got up and grabbed the door handle and licked her hand to make a point to me that I was crazy >> and then she died of CO.

[00:12:33]>> No, thankfully no.

[00:12:35]>> That's crazy.

[00:12:35]>> But in this I'm like look a broken clock is right twice a day and that's where that's really what happened with >> Why was your therapist doing exposure therapy on herself for your >> I think the whole doororknob in my mouth right now. I don't care. I love the doororknob.

[00:12:49]>> This [ __ ] won't listen. the therapist, they get desperate with me. Okay. Wait, I have a question based on what how you're saying that he likes pimple videos and that's like opposite gender thing. What are ways that you guys know about yourselves that you are more traditionally like the opposite gender?

[00:13:06]Because I've realized it takes me 3 minutes to get ready and that is weird.

[00:13:12]That is like I'm a guy in that way. Like do you guys have ways where you feel like I'm more like a guy or more like a girl? That doesn't make sense. Yeah, I have one. It's really embarrassing.

[00:13:22]>> Let's go.

[00:13:23]>> You know, I've been a lifelong fan of MMA >> since it was 1999 on pay-per-view.

[00:13:30]>> But that's like so Filipino.

[00:13:32]>> It's true. You know what? Oh my gosh.

[00:13:34]Yes, cuz we're boxing fans.

[00:13:37]>> Thank you. It turns out I like that about myself. I'm just Filipino.

[00:13:40]Anyways, that's my thing, the MMA thing, where I'm just like, ew. Like it's so not my crowd either, but I watch it alone on my iPad like a [ __ ] weirdo cuz I'm like this is like my secret.

[00:13:52]>> Yeah. You know, >> be it's legal. Be proud that you enjoy fighting.

[00:13:56]>> It's legal.

[00:13:57]>> Yeah. Yeah. Maybe >> not all the fighting is legal.

[00:14:00]>> Oh, >> but I do I do think the best fights are the women fighters, by the way. I just want to put that on there.

[00:14:06]>> Yeah. I'm like, I know for sure I do so many things guy style, but like nothing is coming to my head right now.

[00:14:15]>> Guy style.

[00:14:16]>> Guy style.

[00:14:17]>> Guy style. Guy brain. # guy style.

[00:14:20]>> Do you like beer?

[00:14:21]>> No.

[00:14:22]>> Okay, that was my only >> Oh, well, see, because everything I'm thinking is like examples of me being a pickme girl.

[00:14:30]>> Oh, let's hear them.

[00:14:31]>> Cuz I'm like, "Oh, I love playing billiards." But I'm like, "No, I don't.

[00:14:35]There's like guys around.

[00:14:36]>> No, you're just Filipino.

[00:14:37]>> Okay, I'm Filipino.

[00:14:38]>> Yeah. Yeah, you're Filipino. Cuz billiards is so a woman's sport.

[00:14:42]>> She's saying that it's fake.

[00:14:44]>> Yeah. It's like I don't actually love it. I only love it if there's like an audience of >> people so I can like arch my back and be like, >> you know, it's very corny.

[00:14:53]>> Yeah, I get that. I'm not proud of myself.

[00:14:55]>> Every guy I've ever dated either loves magic or hates magic. And like depending on who I was dating, I had to pretend >> to love or hate it. And then like I forget which but Dave hates it. So what your truth is?

[00:15:06]>> Yeah. I don't know my truth.

[00:15:08]>> I love magic.

[00:15:09]>> You do?

[00:15:09]>> Oh yeah. I'm a freak for magic. I love going to the magic castle. But see that's another example of I think I love magic because I love reacting to it when people are around.

[00:15:22]>> You're having an identity crisis today.

[00:15:25]Who are you when no one's watching?

[00:15:27]Ally.

[00:15:27]>> Oh, I don't know.

[00:15:30]>> Are you a magic girl or not a magic girl? I am a magic girl, but I definitely like I'll I'll I'll put it on a little bit in front of I'm a performer. Yeah, that's who I am. When no one's around, I'm a performer.

[00:15:41]>> Connor, do you have anything that comes to mind?

[00:15:44]>> That makes me more like a girl. I love >> Do you take good care of your skin? You look like you do.

[00:15:48]>> No.

[00:15:49]>> What?

[00:15:50]>> I know. I looked out. I like being bad and getting and getting a Diet Coke.

[00:15:56]>> It's probably what makes me most girly.

[00:15:58]Um and I don't like watching fighting.

[00:16:00]Makes me nervous. I hope they don't.

[00:16:02]>> I love that. I think that's the correct instinct. It's like uh >> I'm not Filipino today.

[00:16:08]>> You're not Filipino today. You're not Filipino.

[00:16:10]>> No, I can't I can't do the fight. It sucks cuz a like my friends will be like, "We're going to go cuz we don't want to pay for the pay-per-view fight."

[00:16:18]And now it's like $75 to watch Jake Paul fight an old man.

[00:16:21]>> That stuff I won't watch the the Jake Paul like Mike Tyson stuff. It's like it's all it's a joke to me. You think you think it's crazy Netflix has us out here doing shows and they have him fighting old people.

[00:16:31]>> Yeah, it was so sad. I hated it for money.

[00:16:33]>> Wait, why? Say why that's bad.

[00:16:35]>> I think Well, he has like a Manny Pacquiao type come on like this this OG who's probably not getting >> the income that they they got for being this like world class fighter and they spend a lot of money a lot and they're like those huge athletes >> and then they get an offer from Jake Paul the YouTuber.

[00:16:53]We'll give you $10 million to come fight for six minutes.

[00:16:56]>> Yeah.

[00:16:57]>> And they take that, but they are gonna get >> Yeah. It's like exploitative.

[00:17:00]>> Yeah.

[00:17:00]>> Yeah. It's like the you know how like everyone's grandparent got like fooled by a scam call that was like this is your son. He's in Mexico and he's been killed or like like he's on the brink of death and then they give all of their money and gift cards. I feel like this is the celebrity the old celebrity version of that where it's like $10 million to fight.

[00:17:21]>> This makes it sound even sadder. Well, where I am a girl is I while I do watch the fights, I don't watch the knockouts.

[00:17:29]Like if it's like a really horrible injurious type of like finish, I turn away and I don't look at that.

[00:17:35]>> Do you are you guys insinuating basically that like cuz what was the fight? Logan Paul and Mike Tyson.

[00:17:41]>> Jake >> Jake Paul and Mike Tyson. Are you insinuating that like Mike Tyson was is actually like so old that he was able to get like really seriously hurt? Because in my mind I'm like, he's Mike Tyson.

[00:17:52]He's fine. No, I think that No, I think he Well, how old is Mike Tyson? 60. 60 something. Like he's >> 60 is different.

[00:17:59]>> And I think that he went he he really did >> try and he really did go through a full training camp.

[00:18:06]>> Why did we all see his butt? Was that on purpose? Do you remember when >> you wore like ass?

[00:18:13]>> Like did he know that there was a camera on him?

[00:18:15]>> I don't know. Definitely like we're talking about it. Maybe it was >> Yeah, >> maybe it was get some buzz >> for views. Yeah, engagement. He was engagement farming us with his his butt.

[00:18:24]His ass and cheeks.

[00:18:26]>> You know what I love about you, Connor?

[00:18:28]>> And this is a dig >> at you.

[00:18:31]>> Wow.

[00:18:31]>> Is this going to be what I love about him is what I hate about you.

[00:18:34]>> What?

[00:18:36]>> Do you know that his co-host lets him read poems on the show?

[00:18:41]>> There was a time in my life where I truly embarrassingly thought like I wanted to be a poet. I was dating Bobby at that time and I was like, he's like, "Well, what do you know? What what other things are you thinking of doing?" I was like, "I think I'm going to be a poet."

[00:18:53]He was like, "Nah." Early on when we were filming Trash Tuesday, I would try to like read these poems to Esther and she would cut me off after the first line. She was like, "I hate this. Do not do this. This is horrible." And but Brooke let him finish beginning to end.

[00:19:10]>> You wrote a poem.

[00:19:12]>> It's I cannot read it here. It is not good. Like like genuinely, I would hope she would cut me off.

[00:19:19]>> Can I defend myself?

[00:19:20]>> Yeah.

[00:19:20]>> I think that comedians need to be anti- poem because think about it. We're we're sitting there at the open mic and we go up and we have to [ __ ] try so hard to be funny and then the poet goes up.

[00:19:34]>> What?

[00:19:37]>> Spoken slam poetry thing.

[00:19:39]>> It's not funny. I feel like I feel like poems need to be read in like a reality TV show confessional. It's like you're alone in a booth with a camera on you, no one else is around.

[00:19:50]>> I also do think that social media ruin poetry in general cuz there's so many of these little like >> if you look away like just these >> send so many of those.

[00:20:00]>> Yeah. And life slogans life it's poetry is dead but >> sorry I just woke up. I was a little bit jet-lagged. It sucks. I don't know. Do you guys have this where the the most brilliant concepts that I'll ever have are on the brink of sleep?

[00:20:20]>> Yes.

[00:20:20]>> Yes.

[00:20:21]>> Yes.

[00:20:21]>> Or on in the shower for me.

[00:20:24]>> Shower on a run and about to fall asleep. All times when I don't have any form to like save it and I'm like, I'll remember this. And all I wake up with is you had a good idea last night and you'll never know what it is.

[00:20:37]>> And I want you to know that you had it >> all the time.

[00:20:40]>> And it's getting worse for me, too, cuz I don't remember because my memory, I think, is shot >> from infinite scrolling that all my good ideas get washed away in the shower. I'm like, "Wow, that was brilliant." I knew it was brilliant. I felt excited about it.

[00:20:53]>> Wait, they have um they have like shower crayons like the one. It didn't solve the problem. Well, I also never took a shower. Yeah, same. That was probably my issue. Do you shower? And that's the first question.

[00:21:06]>> You shower?

[00:21:06]>> Okay. Do you guys shower?

[00:21:09]>> It's This is a very sensitive topic for Esther and I cuz we're on completely opposite sides.

[00:21:13]>> She showers like three times a day. She has like Catholic guilt about something.

[00:21:17]>> You know who else does? Tom Ford.

[00:21:19]>> I saw the Met Gala. They were like, "Tom, how many times do you shower?" And he was like, "Three." And I was like, "I don't want to be like that guy." So now I don't want to shower.

[00:21:27]>> Come over to the dark side.

[00:21:28]>> I want to try, but I just don't think I have the genetics for it. I think my eczema is going to flare. I'm going to itchy. My hair is going to be going to be good for your skin.

[00:21:35]>> Can I Okay, let's do this experiment.

[00:21:36]>> Yeah. Does that mean that we have to shower every day?

[00:21:39]>> No, I'm not doing that. I can't I can't shower.

[00:21:41]>> But you have to be honest with me. After day three, you have to sniff test me.

[00:21:45]>> I love to >> everywhere. My crevices, too, lady.

[00:21:48]>> Then you got to smell mine.

[00:21:50]>> Well, see the thing cuz I have some questions. What's going >> The thing about being a stinky girl, and I think you can back me up here, is that, >> you know, you're not showering every day, but you're still maintaining the crucial areas. How is that maintained without like water >> running through your body?

[00:22:11]Yeah, dude. Really?

[00:22:13]>> Oh, no. I'm lying. I shower twice a day, too. Sorry.

[00:22:16]>> You do?

[00:22:17]>> Mine is like I can I can't get in if I get in bed and I'm like, when's the last time I wash my hands and I can't remember? I'm like I get up out of bed and I have to wash my hands.

[00:22:24]>> Same. Same. That's me. My feet. My hands. I feel it. Like I physically feel parts of my body. I'm like I need to >> Yeah. I think it's just >> Yeah. If like my feet feel gross, I'm like I'll just put socks on. That way it's not in the bed. Yeah.

[00:22:36]>> So it's incredible. Um the the breadth of life that's available for us. Like there's I wish I had that. I seriously seriously do. And I don't wish that I had that.

[00:22:54]>> That was Is this a poem? Stop it.

[00:22:56]>> But I don't look like a stinky girl.

[00:22:58]>> You don't.

[00:22:58]>> I know. That's why I could tell it.

[00:23:00]>> Okay.

[00:23:01]>> The hair, >> the new hair.

[00:23:03]>> This is a cool thing.

[00:23:04]>> Wait, do you think that um um color pink or that that is stinky girl?

[00:23:09]>> I don't know.

[00:23:10]>> Yeah, >> it's on it's cusp.

[00:23:12]>> But I think Okay, without the pink hair.

[00:23:14]>> You're so freaked out that I might think that you look stinky. It's really bothering you.

[00:23:19]>> I just think a lot of people wouldn't assume that.

[00:23:22]>> First of all, I don't I actually am a big believer and you can't look stinky.

[00:23:27]>> I I disagree.

[00:23:28]>> I disagree.

[00:23:29]>> And by the way, I also want to say just because I shower three times a day does not mean I'm not stinky. I stink.

[00:23:35]>> It's cuz you're showering too much.

[00:23:37]>> No, there's just if I smell it on myself even like do you like your own?

[00:23:42]>> It's probably not cuz no one around me ever says I smell it. I was like, "Oh, you smell fine." But it's my own like perception of like if I smell like >> I care. It's like a >> people have smells. Let's let go of it.

[00:23:54]>> No. No thank you.

[00:23:55]>> Who knows [ __ ] >> cuz if I am accosted by that scent like I I my day is ruined. Like it's like >> or like this when I walk into an elevator and it smells like scalp.

[00:24:07]>> You're so hard on scalp.

[00:24:09]>> I hate scalp.

[00:24:11]>> You have to be so close to scalp to smell scalp.

[00:24:13]>> No, you don't. You must have like a crazy nose.

[00:24:16]>> I've smelled scalp before. I know what you're talking about. It's not even like mus. It has just like a very very specific like >> I know the smell >> skin and not not wet skin. Not >> it's like hot hot >> it's a heat thing. Yeah, it is.

[00:24:30]>> Yeah.

[00:24:31]>> Huh. I didn't know other people smelled that.

[00:24:32]>> Yeah.

[00:24:33]>> Have you ever smelled someone's hat? I'm not like I'm not talking about my hat.

[00:24:36]>> I don't I don't like it.

[00:24:38]>> Nasty.

[00:24:39]>> It's good. Passes the the test.

[00:24:41]>> Definitely smells like scalp.

[00:24:43]>> Yeah. supposed to describe the smell.

[00:24:45]Um, not bad though.

[00:24:46]>> Question for you as a white person, but what is your ethnicity? I like can't figure you out.

[00:24:52]>> White.

[00:24:55]>> Uh, there's some Native American somewhere. Um, but not enough for free college.

[00:25:01]>> Okay. Wait, was 23 and me a scam?

[00:25:04]>> Why?

[00:25:05]>> But you told me something about how like they were being sued for something. Was that So now I'm thinking my ethnicity breakdown is not real. No, I think I told you that 23 and me's test for the brocoa gene is like not as expansive as the doctor can give like >> which is totally unrelated.

[00:25:25]>> Oh, breast cancer gene.

[00:25:26]>> It's like a breast cancer gene that cuz the 23 and me was testing for like genetic mutations. I do think though that like everyone says take your data off of there.

[00:25:35]>> That's what I was >> Okay.

[00:25:36]>> I thought that was the question for the white person from Texas was they're selling your data. collecting things to clone or something.

[00:25:43]>> I let my sister take the bullet for our data.

[00:25:46]>> No, it's not accurate. Siblings will have different breakdowns.

[00:25:49]>> Oh, god damn it.

[00:25:50]>> Isn't that crazy? My niece and nephew, like I'm way more related to my nephew than I am to my niece.

[00:25:56]>> Oh, no way.

[00:25:57]>> Yeah. Like it thinks that I have a different relationship with each one.

[00:26:03]>> I forgot what. Yeah, but I'm their h like it's my halfsister.

[00:26:08]>> Oh, that's right. But still, my niece is like a cousin and my nephew.

[00:26:13]>> Do you treat him differently now?

[00:26:15]>> Yeah, I do.

[00:26:17]>> You're like, I don't know you, [ __ ] >> Well, I'm >> You're my cousin.

[00:26:24]>> This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.

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[00:29:57]What is Paris Syndrome? In the 80s, this Japanese man um noticed these Japanese tourists in Paris who were crashing out like they were nausea. They were nauseous, experiencing dizziness, hallucinations, having like a full like mental like breakdown. And it turns out that the reason they were crashing out is because they had fantasized about this idea of what Paris looks like because it had been such a revered thing in Japan. This is we're going to wear our hat. We're going to have our, you know, baguettes. We're going to do this.

[00:30:29]And they get there and Paris is Paris.

[00:30:31]It's a city. It's got rats. It's got real people. It's got homelessness. It's got the Eiffel Tower in the backdrop, sure. But it's a real city and it they're this this illusion is shattered for them and they can't handle it.

[00:30:43]>> But people are hallucinating.

[00:30:45]>> Yes. And it's a real thing. But it's not even just Japanese people in Paris. This is a thing that happens when people have an expectation of going to a place and they've built it up so much in their mind and they get there and they get mugged or they get, you know, whatever and they can't handle that this dream fantasy land isn't dream fantasy land for them. And that's how I feel when I see people the Hollywood like Walk of Fame and I'm like these poor people.

[00:31:07]>> I get really bummed out too sometimes.

[00:31:09]Like I I stay on the west side when I visit LA now.

[00:31:13]>> Um and that's where I lived. It's like Santa Monica.

[00:31:16]>> And I would see people 8 a.m. families walking down with their chairs to go get their spot on the beach. And I go, "Oh, you don't know that we're about to have three months of clouds. Like it's going to be the water's freezing at 60 degrees." And I see people bring their kids down and be like, "We're visiting.

[00:31:32]This is our vacation.

[00:31:34]We just got out of Ohio. We're here this week. You're going to get in the 40°ree water >> that the sewage goes into in Santa Monica. You are going to get in there and you're going to enjoy it and we're going to talk about this and we're going to take pictures."

[00:31:47]>> But I feel like that's a better coping mechanism of being like, you know what, we acknowledge this isn't what we thought and we're going to make the best of it.

[00:31:54]>> I just wish they would have reached out to me before so I could have told them you have to come in July. If anyone has plans on visiting Los Angeles, reach out to Connor.

[00:32:01]>> Yeah, let me I genuinely will guide your hand.

[00:32:05]>> Wait, why don't you have one of those Apple maps that's like fibula guide to the city?

[00:32:10]>> I'm always >> Can anyone >> Yeah, just do that.

[00:32:13]>> I whenever I'm on the road, I'm always looking at the Jonas Brothers favorite tour spots and I go wherever they go.

[00:32:18]>> I didn't know that.

[00:32:19]>> Me either. That's so cool.

[00:32:21]>> Yes, I love the Joe Bros. favorite spots around the US. I am unable to like if someone asks me for a recommendation I cannot nothing comes to mind at all >> or I get so nervous that they're not going to like I have to give so many like prefaces. I'm like you're only going to like it if X Y and Z if your parents are divorced and this is the right spot for you.

[00:32:42]>> I'm I'm I can only advise on like time of year and weather. I really truly like >> everyone always talks about LA weather which does kind of ruin you. Like in New York I'm cold if it's below 70 and I'm really really hot if it's above 70. Um, >> it has to be >> It has to be 70.

[00:32:57]>> I relate to that.

[00:32:58]>> Yeah, it's insane. It's And I feel embarrassed.

[00:33:01]>> When and where in LA can I go to a beach?

[00:33:04]>> You can go to Santa Barbara.

[00:33:07]>> I think Malibu Malibu like you know Leo Coreo or like it's already Orange County, but like Lagona and those areas.

[00:33:16]She will never step foot in a beach by the way.

[00:33:18]>> No, but I want at some point I'm going to have to take my child to a beach.

[00:33:23]This is what um as a family we've discussed AS's beach day all week this week.

[00:33:28]>> What?

[00:33:28]>> Because we're getting like uh I'm I'm entering my van life era and I'm getting a >> van end up raising Ace.

[00:33:34]>> Well, because Jules had was crashing out over this. She was like ate Ace has to see the beach. She has to know beach culture. She has to know the ocean. She has to have a relationship with the ocean. And I was like well plot of Moana >> because she watched Ace over the weekend.

[00:33:49]>> Ace has a sandbox >> and a sandbox. And I was like, "You're going to have to take that up with Esther." And she was like, "Couldn't we just take her to the beach? You think Esther would let us take her to the beach?" I was like, "I don't know.

[00:33:57]You're going to have to take that up with her mother."

[00:33:59]>> Yes. But where would you go?

[00:34:01]>> What is right right north of Santa Monica, >> which is before all the spillage, so you're like, >> it's uh like Will Rogers.

[00:34:08]>> Will Rogers?

[00:34:08]>> Yeah. That's actually It's clean sometimes.

[00:34:10]>> Yeah. It can be nice.

[00:34:12]>> And it's a great kid beach.

[00:34:13]>> It's That's what I was going to say. It like doesn't break. The waves don't break in a way.

[00:34:17]>> Mhm.

[00:34:18]>> And so you can kind of walk out a little bit. There are a lot of kids there, too.

[00:34:21]>> Me pretending I know what wave breaking means.

[00:34:23]>> Just the >> scary. It can get scary. Waves coming.

[00:34:26]Oh my god. Nightmares that the waves come from.

[00:34:28]>> You go to Long Beach.

[00:34:30]>> Well, that's the water you don't want to enter.

[00:34:31]>> Is that where you're from?

[00:34:32]>> Yeah.

[00:34:33]>> Hell yeah. Long Beach.

[00:34:34]>> If you go just a little bit down to Seal Beach or Sunset.

[00:34:37]>> Seal Beach has sharks.

[00:34:38]>> Just trying to enter the chat.

[00:34:41]>> You've been rejected.

[00:34:43]>> No, but Long Beach is the best. To this day, I think that it's the best place to live in LA. like like so like unmatched.

[00:34:50]>> Oh my god, I would love to put an Apple Maps guide together of places to >> Wait, can you and I do it together?

[00:34:54]Yeah, I live there for I went to Cal State Long Beach.

[00:34:56]>> Oh my god, >> I'm a 562 girly for life.

[00:34:59]>> The trash Tuesday Long Beach >> guide too. Get in there.

[00:35:04]>> Wait, so okay, back to this Paris Syndrome.

[00:35:06]>> Oh yeah, >> it reminds me of this concept called being dnarrated. And I don't know if you guys have heard of this.

[00:35:12]>> No. Oh my god, >> it sounds like really sad.

[00:35:15]>> It's bad.

[00:35:17]denarrated. So, it's basically this concept where like your life isn't what you thought it would be and so you've you've been like denarrated like you're it's it's not what you pictured and you like lose touch with oh no. Yeah. But that to me is the same thing as Paris syndrome. It's like I thought this was going to be like box A and it's not.

[00:35:40]It's like box B and now I'm questioning everything and I don't know who I am anymore. Like I feel like I've had that so many times in my life. I've never been to Paris because one of my pretty friends said it was dangerous.

[00:35:53]And Dave is like, "Please can we go to Paris?" I'm like, "No, it's not safe."

[00:35:57]But I do feel like I don't want to go to Paris because I don't want to know what it's really like.

[00:36:03]>> Why don't you just go to like a small little town in France?

[00:36:06]>> Yeah, because I had Paris syndrome when I went.

[00:36:09]>> You did?

[00:36:10]>> Yeah. But I was also an alcoholic and I was like blacked out at some hostel with an Australian guy. So, I don't know if I was getting like the full Paris experience. I don't think so. Either the Paris experience.

[00:36:19]>> Okay.

[00:36:20]>> I will say like I felt similarly when I was in Madrid at a hostel with some like stinky guy on a bunk above me and I didn't like love it.

[00:36:30]>> And then I went back and I had a different Madrid experience. I was like, "Oh, this place is amazing." So, the hostel kills it.

[00:36:35]>> Yeah. Well, and I got like, you know, you're in Paris. I I had one of the artists by the Eiffel Tower do a photo of me and so I'm like having my Paris moment. I'm like sitting getting my photo drawn like the Titanic, you know, and then he shows it to me. I swear to God the photo looked more like him than like me. I have a photo of it. It's crazy. It's so offensive. And I was like, I'm never coming back here.

[00:37:01]>> That's funny.

[00:37:02]>> It was brutal.

[00:37:03]>> So I I I read this book recently. the only recently it's the only book I've read in like 10 years. Read read a book to completion. I was so happy. It was the most upsetting book and it is full-blown dnarration 100%. Um it's called Stoner. Did has anyone heard of Stoner?

[00:37:20]>> No.

[00:37:20]>> It's this book about this guy's horrible horrible life, but he truly does nothing to change it. Like >> and it makes me frustrated. It's like Manchester by the Sea. Like obviously that movie is sad, but like >> move.

[00:37:33]>> Yeah.

[00:37:33]>> Don't live in Manchester by the Sea.

[00:37:35]Your life is so sad.

[00:37:36]>> That's so venous speech of you.

[00:37:38]>> What?

[00:37:38]>> I feel like that mindset is so venous speech.

[00:37:41]>> You are not a tree. Move.

[00:37:42]>> Yeah.

[00:37:44]>> So like this guy's life, the whole thing is just like so upsetting. Here it is.

[00:37:48]>> It's a 1965 novel. Oh, that's not what I expected it to be. I thought it was going to be a stoner.

[00:37:53]>> Yeah. about the quiet, often disappointing life of William Stoner, a literature professor at a Midwestern university. From his poor farming origins to his death, exploring themes of love, loss, and the search for meaning in an ordinary life. So, there's an unhappy marriage, transformative affair, struggles with academic politics. Okay, >> the affair was the best part. And without like hands down, I was happy he was getting laid. His wife wouldn't have sex with him. He has his daughter, his wife makes his daughter hate him, and then his daughter becomes an alcoholic, moves away I'm just like, "Change your life." He gets old and he never his his work doesn't get better and he doesn't feel fulfilled and he loses his family and then by the end he's dying and they walk you through him dying >> and he's saying to himself, >> "Well, I guess this is it." And then he says to himself, "And what did I expect?"

[00:38:41]>> And I was like, "I'm going to throw up into this book right before I finish it." It made me like >> so sad. I didn't do anything.

[00:38:48]>> Have you heard of this? I hate like alluding to this study because it involves like dogs getting beat, but there's this study basically that where it's like >> if you keep a dog at with living in certain conditions within abuse for long enough, >> even after years of doing that, >> even if you were to place 10 exits around them, they wouldn't leave. Mhm.

[00:39:12]>> So it's like I think if you bog a soul down enough with life circumstances or unhappy things, you can see all the exits and never take any of them is what I think of William Stoner.

[00:39:26]>> You're pretty spot. And that must be it.

[00:39:28]I think there was like a It upset me for him. I'm yelling to the book.

[00:39:32]>> If you could redo the book, what would you have him do?

[00:39:35]>> Get Tik Tok famous.

[00:39:38]We need to move to LA and do podcasts.

[00:39:40]If you just went to one Tony Robbins conference.

[00:39:44]>> Seriously, just like or Mel Robbins even >> or Yeah, one of the Robins.

[00:39:48]>> Let them related, are they?

[00:39:51]>> No.

[00:39:52]>> Interesting.

[00:39:53]>> But see, I think a book like that is good because I'm sure it like inspires you. You finish reading it and you're like, I got to do something >> that but it also like it changes you for 3 days. You know when you leave a movie and you like start you're like >> new personality starts now. Did you kind of look? Yeah, I need to be changed by a movie for 3 days.

[00:40:10]>> I have a hot take on this though. What is so wrong with an ordinary life?

[00:40:14]>> That's the thing. So, obviously I Googled the hell out of like I'm like I need answers as to like why this is written in this way and this this author came out and he's from I think London and he was upset at how upset Americans were with how depressing the book was. He's like, I didn't find it depressing at all because for most people, this is their life.

[00:40:38]>> Yeah, I was going to say it's just an ordinary life.

[00:40:40]>> It sounds like it there was an affair.

[00:40:42]He was a professor. There was a there was a good job. It sounds like >> a regular life. And I think that living in LA, you do kind of think that unless you chase after the stars that somehow your life is less meaningful. And I don't believe that.

[00:40:59]>> Paris syndrome. I think that there is no such thing as an extraordinary life. I think it's like we're all just humans and you can only feel as much as you can feel as a human and you're going to feel it. Like I was saying this I think last time we were recording. If I'm really really tired and sleepd deprived and my head hits the pillow that is going to feel so good. No billionaire can buy a feeling better than me hitting my pillow when I'm tired.

[00:41:27]>> Yeah. And I think that the book itself is a testament to even like going through his ordinary life was worth the read beginning to end.

[00:41:35]>> It was.

[00:41:36]>> And how many people with extraordinary lives are just as sad as that guy.

[00:41:43]>> Yeah.

[00:41:44]>> Yeah. Well, that's what they said is there were a lot of high highs and low lows. They were just different, you know, like him publishing his >> work at the end of his life. He's like looking at his aranged daughter and his wife that hates him and he touches his book and then he dies as he touches his book.

[00:41:58]>> Well, that is sad.

[00:41:59]>> That's the biggest tragedy. There's like family estrangement.

[00:42:02]>> Yeah. Well, I mean like there's they're there but he's like this is really what I have to leave. Like I I'm not really leaving my family. I'm leaving my work.

[00:42:10]>> You know what book is kind of similar? I think maybe similar vibe is my year of rest and relaxation.

[00:42:16]>> I was told not to read that because of how my because of my personality. They said it would affect me.

[00:42:21]>> Oh wow.

[00:42:26]I know that you have misophonia.

[00:42:28]>> Yeah.

[00:42:29]>> So, if at any point our chewing and our slobbering on this banana is um bothering you, let us know.

[00:42:37]>> I'm I can talk myself through it. You heard on this podcast that I actually had someone making mouth noises in a public place that were like so absurd to me that I had to leave. It made me so filled with anger that I was like, I actually need to get this fixed because I don't like this version of myself that I want to like hit him with my laptop in the head.

[00:43:00]>> I just realized I've been open mouth chewing gum this entire time.

[00:43:04]>> And I would have So, what I learned about misophonia, sorry, I didn't mean to point the banana at you like this.

[00:43:10]What I what I learned about it is that it's actually worse with people you know and people you're close with because I don't have general misophonia when I hear other people eat. But if I hear my mom's bleming like if when I hear >> even like a a distant mlem of my mother like I feel the rage >> anger >> but there's it's contextual for me. I have contextual misophonia where it's like I can't hear my loved ones [ __ ] do that.

[00:43:37]>> I I totally get that. I had to I have to say to myself, dad has to chew so that the food can go down. Like he literally has to chew so he can eat >> the calories. Yeah.

[00:43:48]>> So he this is something that has to happen cuz the way my dad chews, it's cavernous.

[00:43:55]He will chew with his mouth closed.

[00:43:56]There's nothing he can do. I can hear it and I'll sit across the table and just stare and think things. It's bad and it's literally a me thing, but I can't help it.

[00:44:05]>> Yeah. I don't >> I hate that part of me. I don't have misophonia, but it did remind me like my mom I think this is just me being my mom being annoying to me when she drinks out of a can. She puts her upper lip so far over the thing. It's like it's like um it's like enough like it's going to go in your mouth. Why do you have to seal the whole >> She's such a big lip over it. Have you said this? Have you told her?

[00:44:36]>> Yeah.

[00:44:37]Gh. But then I noticed that like I I do it.

[00:44:42]>> Oh no.

[00:44:43]>> Like it just comes to me naturally and so I have to like actively be like close your mouth. Small mouth.

[00:44:50]>> Oh my god. But okay. You guys don't like chewing of humans. But you do like when like you hear a dog licking water, right? I don't mind it as much now, but my whole family does not like the sound of dogs cleaning themselves in the morning when they're lapping up their own puss or their little >> Oh my god, we live for that in my household.

[00:45:09]>> I know. I know. But like Jules, she'll freak out about that if she's like she will scream from across her, "Stop it.

[00:45:16]Stop it." Me and Dave will literally voice record it and send it to each other and we're like It's like our favorite thing is her little licking sounds. You no >> I like to give my dog watermelon and he chews and I I could listen to a podcast 60 minutes of him chewing watermelon. I think it's >> or an apple >> so crunchy.

[00:45:38]>> But if my dad did it >> shoot him with a gun.

[00:45:43]>> Esther, why does it say you have an update for us about your ex?

[00:45:46]>> Oh my god. So, you know how I'm obsessed with my high school ex? Do you know this, Connor? Welcome.

[00:45:52]>> Welcome to the show. I have worked through it, right? Like I'm less obsessed as I, you know, married with two children. It's been 20 years, but I did get an update from the past >> that shocked me. So, it's not going to be that big of a deal.

[00:46:12]>> I just got chills. Hold >> on. You said shocked. I got chills.

[00:46:15]>> It is crazy. Like a friend of mine from high school, she's like, "Hey, Esther.

[00:46:20]Like, I'm with some camp friends. We were going through our old Facebook messages and I found this old message from your ex and I wanted to just show it to you like haha. And I read it and it's him planning a surprise party for me and >> you got to get back with him.

[00:46:39]>> No, no, listen. It's him planning a surprise party. He's like, "Here's I'm throwing a surprise graduation and going away party for Esther cuz I was going to Scotland for the French festival at the end of the summer." And it's like all the details for the party and my friend responds and then like a couple days later he writes back, "Party's off.

[00:46:57]Sorry guys."

[00:46:58]>> Bone chilling.

[00:46:59]>> Why was the party off? I think cuz he dumped me.

[00:47:03]>> Wait, let's walk back. Do I don't even know why he dumped you.

[00:47:07]>> Me either.

[00:47:08]>> I know.

[00:47:08]>> I got with another girl at Johnny Rockets.

[00:47:11]>> So I went to For context, I worked at Johnny Rockets. I got him a job there.

[00:47:15]Then a new girl started working there and he started dating her.

[00:47:18]>> No, >> that was it. And like we were like high school sweethearts together for two years, whatever.

[00:47:23]>> I'm sorry that I'm really stunted, Connor. I don't want you to like >> No, I'm really locked in. I don't know.

[00:47:27]>> So, I've been like obsessed with him ever since. And he's blocked me on all platforms. My movie Drugstore June is lowkey about him. Um, but yeah, now to know that like in the weeks leading up to him dumping me, he was planning a surprise party for me that I never knew about.

[00:47:45]>> Wait, what did you do?

[00:47:47]>> I don't know. I need to know cuz I feel like I always thought he was the villain and now I think that you're the villain because it's like this man was planning a full-blown party and then out of nowhere it's off. But I know I'm getting the chills. I feel like the party though like was just for like show. I don't know. Like it was I I don't >> It's so shocking to me knowing what things were like in those like summer months that he was planning a party.

[00:48:13]Like it's just weird. Like I can't I can't make sense of it. You guys, I never knew about this. And the the funniest text I've ever seen in my life is just him going, "Sorry guys, party's off." Like >> that's like baby shoes never worn.

[00:48:28]>> Yeah.

[00:48:31]>> Yeah.

[00:48:31]>> Bone chilling. I'm serious cuz they don't they didn't have the context even seeing that now. It's like that's a relic.

[00:48:36]>> And this truly it's a it's from 2006.

[00:48:40]>> Never knew, never saw it.

[00:48:41]>> Whenever that happens, I'm like what else do I not know?

[00:48:44]>> Right. What was happening behind the scenes?

[00:48:45]>> Yeah. This is not quite as similar, but finding out you were cheated on after I'm friends with some of my exes. One of them is Bobby, but then you hear once you've gone through the breakup and it's years afterwards and then you go you walk memory laying down together and you're like, "Hey, remember this time so and so or they talk about a story and then they talk about a girl and it wasn't you."

[00:49:09]>> But then the timeline is when you guys were together. This has happened at least like six times in my life.

[00:49:14]>> What? And you're like, "Wait a second.

[00:49:16]When did you say you [ __ ] Valerie on that lawn?" And they're like, "Oh, it was this time and this time." And I was like, "We were." But I never say, "But we were together." Cuz it doesn't matter anymore. But then I have to keep these little, you know, these little pieces of information where I'm like, >> I didn't know. It's like, am I glad I didn't know cuz that would have wounded me more.

[00:49:37]>> I think so.

[00:49:38]>> Yeah. I found out after the fact and I'm like, I can handle that. If you had found out then about the party, would you have would the breakup had been even harder for you?

[00:49:48]>> I don't know. Honestly though, I I am bone chilled by the whole message exchange of the over the party. It's like it's almost like icks me out that he was throwing a party. Like it's like weird. I don't like >> You don't like surprises? Oh my god. You would have broken up with him if he threw you a surprise party. You hate surprises.

[00:50:06]>> I know.

[00:50:06]>> Wait, maybe that's his way of breaking up with you. He knew that if he threw it.

[00:50:11]>> She hates surprise parties. Like she will end friendships over surprise.

[00:50:14]>> I want one. September 8th.

[00:50:18]>> Is it your birthday?

[00:50:19]>> Start planning.

[00:50:20]>> Yeah.

[00:50:20]>> We're like almost birthday.

[00:50:21]>> When's your birthday?

[00:50:22]>> September 11th.

[00:50:23]>> Oh.

[00:50:24]>> Oh, sorry.

[00:50:25]>> I'll celebrate on the 8th with you.

[00:50:27]>> Yeah.

[00:50:29]>> Surprise.

[00:50:30]>> I'm coming.

[00:50:32]>> My high school boyfriend who I was obsessed with. I would drive by his house so often. Keep in mind like I broke up with him, but I would still drive by his house constantly just to like see what was up, if the lights were on, you know?

[00:50:44]>> This is me. This is my game.

[00:50:46]>> But he lived in a culde-sac.

[00:50:49]And so it's like >> he knew my car. I couldn't be like, "Oh, I've had to drive past. It was like I went out of my way every time to go through the cult."

[00:51:00]>> That's really That's unlucky for you. I do feel bad. So different when a boy does this, you know, >> driving past the culde-sac, circling around.

[00:51:08]>> Yeah. I mean, there was one time where I had to tell my I was like, "Serg, get out of that bush." Cuz I saw him like >> in the bush.

[00:51:15]>> In the bush outside of my house. And I was in the room with another boy who had a huge crush on who had just come back from college from Harvard.

[00:51:22]>> Like an extra and Bad Bunny Super Bowl performance.

[00:51:25]>> Yes. I was like, "Serg, get out of the bush." And I saw his BMX bike like parked like not too far and I was like scared cuz it's different. Yeah, it's different.

[00:51:34]>> Sergio, get out of the bush.

[00:51:36]>> Sergio, get out of the bush.

[00:51:38]>> Every word in that sentence carries its own individual.

[00:51:42]>> Sergio, get out of the bush.

[00:51:45]>> Yeah, >> that's poetry. Connor, do you ever have you ever had to drive past an ex's house out of >> No, I was just thinking back to like Facebook messages. I deleted Facebook a long time ago. Do you know are you not on marketplace?

[00:51:58]>> I redownloaded Facebook for marketplace.

[00:52:01]>> I need to get on marketplace.

[00:52:02]>> Yeah, marketplace is it. I just bought a whole colami tree >> situation. A what?

[00:52:06]>> A calamani tree and that's what I brought. I have calamani juice now cuz I bought a tree from Facebook market.

[00:52:11]>> Colami.

[00:52:12]>> Yeah. I mean it's a Filipino lime citrus that um >> Trader Joe's is starting to sell it. But >> Oh wow.

[00:52:18]>> Wait, speaking of Trader Joe's, I'm never eating Trader Joe's meat again.

[00:52:22]>> What?

[00:52:23]>> You want to know why?

[00:52:24]>> No.

[00:52:27]because there's a dog >> in my neighborhood.

[00:52:31]>> Oh, >> who was like 21 years old?

[00:52:35]>> And I'm like, "What is your secret?"

[00:52:37]Like, "What? How?" I asked the dog, "What's your secret?" And the doggy's mommy and daddy told me that they make him they make the dog her they make her fresh like meat. And they're like, "One day we tried to serve her meat from Trader Joe's and she refused to eat it and so she only eats meat from McCall's, which is like this really expensive in LA."

[00:53:01]>> I'm not taking my grocery advice from my dog. Okay.

[00:53:04]>> Well, I am. Okay.

[00:53:07]>> Budget for this [ __ ] >> Wait, but you don't feed donut kibble, do you?

[00:53:11]>> I We do wet food and some kibble. Is that okay?

[00:53:15]>> I don't know. Every I don't feed my dogs kibble.

[00:53:17]>> What do you feed them? It's good for their teeth though.

[00:53:20]>> It is. Yeah. To chew on.

[00:53:22]>> I was told we can't do all wet food because they need the kibble the fiber.

[00:53:26]>> I don't give kibble.

[00:53:27]>> What do you give?

[00:53:28]>> Just real food.

[00:53:29]>> Mommy milk.

[00:53:30]>> Yeah. Real food.

[00:53:32]>> Sometimes cooked, sometimes from pet plate. Mostly from pet plate.

[00:53:36]>> We do farmer's dog.

[00:53:37]>> Yeah, farmer's dog. I like Farmers Dog because one time I waited too long to give it like there was they give you a lot obviously per order and it went bad when I was like, "Oh, that's good that it's going bad."

[00:53:48]>> Yeah, >> it fermented and it lit literally popped like the bag like I went to cut it and just and I was like, "Okay, that's not good."

[00:53:55]>> That's a good sign.

[00:53:56]>> The craziest thing about Trader Joe's to me is that we all like I don't know, we all I'm saying we all and I >> be the only one. We all like I was convinced it was a health food store >> for like the longest time. It's straight up frozen food. Like that's what it is.

[00:54:11]>> And when I woke up, it was because this girl that I went to college with had come in and she was like, I'm obsessed with this new thing from Trader Joe's.

[00:54:20]It's called cookie butter.

[00:54:22]And she's like, I eat it every day. And then I can't remember how much time had gone by and she came in and she got Regina and George. She thought it was a healthy food. She was eating a jar every three days with a spoon.

[00:54:36]>> And she's like, "I've gained 17 pounds from cookie butter."

[00:54:40]>> And I was like, "Oh my god, Trader Joe's >> is simply just processed."

[00:54:47]>> Market cookie butter as like a healthier version.

[00:54:49]>> It's just the thing with Trader Joe's is like there's something >> if you're just like of a certain age or a certain >> Like she did that to herself.

[00:54:57]>> I mean, I was like, "What did you think it?"

[00:54:59]>> But I know what you mean. She didn't do it to herself. I'm on her side because there's something about the branding like then it feels like it's marketed as a natural health food store and like they do just enough where you feel like when you're buying iced animal crackers that for some reason they're better for you cuz they're from Trader Joe's.

[00:55:16]>> I think regardless if cookie or butter is in the name, let alone together, it's probably not the best option for you.

[00:55:24]>> You don't understand me and Connor.

[00:55:27]Okay. No, I was I was fully on I was like, "Bring out Joe." Like, "I want to shake his hand. You've changed my life."

[00:55:35]I was in college being like, "Oh, you guys are going to Ralph's. I'll be at Trader Joe's with my paper bag." You know, we do paper bags here at Trader Joe's because it's a health food store.

[00:55:44]>> Exactly. You're trading.

[00:55:46]>> It's a trade of form to table. That's what Trader Joe's was.

[00:55:54]Bullbone the most processed like pizza bagels. What in that would have been >> a health food?

[00:56:00]>> Well, the signs are all handwritten. Ex.

[00:56:03]How can you do that with processed food in your body? Were you not duped?

[00:56:08]>> No, cuz I I don't know if it's cuz I didn't grow up here, >> but the OG Trader Joe's is in Pasadena and that's where I lived for a really long time. So, it was very much like a point of pride for me to be like, do you know like the Trader Joe's is ours? Um, so I don't take this Trader Joe's slander. Well, guys, um, and because I never thought of it as a health food and I think they're an honest corporation and I'll buy your tote bags forever because I don't buy purses for myself.

[00:56:32]>> Well, I will also buy their tote bags and I will even wait in line for limited edition colors, but I will not buy their meat or their pizza bagels.

[00:56:39]>> And their produce is not great. It sucks. It It straight up just sucks.

[00:56:43]Their mangoes are always stringy and I'm like, it's mango season. Why are we still with the stringy mangoes? But, uh, it is so affordable still. It's affordable.

[00:56:51]>> And it's like for like a bigger family, I totally get the Trader Joe's route.

[00:56:56]>> I agree. I think that if they sold rotisserie chickens and normal produce that wasn't like 3D printed, >> it would be a really one-stop shop.

[00:57:06]>> Mhm.

[00:57:06]>> And it's affordable. You're right. And I'm in hotels a lot, so I go to Trader Joe's and I get this stuff. But I I like if I was stocking my home, I wouldn't buy from Trader Joe's. What do you get when you >> Yeah. What's everyone's goto in your hotel room?

[00:57:18]>> I'm gross. I'm pretty gross.

[00:57:20]>> You nasty boy.

[00:57:21]>> I'm really bad.

[00:57:22]>> What do you get?

[00:57:23]>> Cliff bars.

[00:57:25]>> RX.

[00:57:26]>> God, their protein bar selections is so bad. I know. Although they have Bear Bells, which are so good.

[00:57:31]>> We also Dave recently has been having Cliff Bars and like thinks it's a health food and I don't know how to break it.

[00:57:37]>> He's having cookie dough Trader Joe's experience right now.

[00:57:41]>> Syndrome. getting the cookie butter protein bars and they're randomly really bad.

[00:57:45]>> I get the pre-made like burritos and I eat them cold which are >> That's something only a man can do.

[00:57:51]>> Yeah.

[00:57:52]>> I don't have a microwave in the hotel that I stay in here.

[00:57:54]>> Oh wow.

[00:57:55]>> You find ways blow dryer or something to heat it.

[00:57:58]>> Changed my brain to be like cold good.

[00:58:02]>> Wait. I do think that this is true for some foods like spaghetti cold the next day delicious.

[00:58:08]>> I agree. Even some cold meats, as long as the fat hasn't like turned into gelatin quite yet. But cold spaghetti.

[00:58:15]Incredible. My dad will like for a meal have a can out of the can of pe no peas and carrots.

[00:58:26]>> He's like, "What? It's fine." I'm just like, "What? This is like some 1940s kind of [ __ ] >> I used to do out of the can. No, no heating. Um like Chef Boyardd. Uh, chef Baghett forever. The ravioli get like >> I want, >> you know, I I tried them to like have nostalgia to heal my inner child. It was the most disgusting thing I'd ever Yeah.

[00:58:52]No, not spaghettiio. Chef Boyardd.

[00:58:54]>> Well, that's why I'm afraid to I I have a it's I'm going to go Paris syndrome.

[00:59:00]Like I have such a perfect fantasy of Chef Boyardd because when I first came from the Philippines, I was like, "You mean to tell me I get to have ravioli in a can every single day of my life." Like I love America. I'm never leaving this place. And I want to preserve that memory. So I'm not going to walk back to >> You can preserve that memory because those cans last for a hundred years.

[00:59:16]>> Yeah. And they stay the same. That's like McDonald's. I when I had a McDonald's cheeseburger for the first time in like 15 years, I was like immediately transported. I'm like nothing has changed. This is the only consistent thing in my life. So, do you think that I will feel warm and fuzzies if I >> I absolutely do.

[00:59:33]>> Okay.

[00:59:33]>> Yeah.

[00:59:34]>> Okay. Ally, you say no. Don't.

[00:59:35]>> Yeah. No. Chef Ward is disgusting and it used to be my favorite.

[00:59:39]>> That's cuz you didn't heat it up, [ __ ] >> Do you want to talk about my dead grandma?

[00:59:44]>> Yeah.

[00:59:45]>> Wait, Ally, what happened when did you die?

[00:59:48]>> Um, so my grandma died.

[00:59:53]>> Not the way it so my grandma's dead. Um, she was 94. Got this gorgeous ring.

[01:00:00]Thank you, girl. Congrats.

[01:00:02]>> What did you get, >> Esther? When you're >> a lawsuit, >> my grandma died. I got >> This is really triggering for Esther.

[01:00:10]You showing this jewelry.

[01:00:12]>> Yes. Because when my one grandma died, my dad an opal ring.

[01:00:17]>> So, when my dad's mom died, he's like, I'm never going to get married to have kids. So, he gave away everything. So, I have nothing from her. But then when one of my random cousins died, I got an opal ring that was my grandmother's, I got it back. But then when my recent grandma died last year, I got a lawsuit.

[01:00:36]So, congrats. Let me see that ring. I like it. That's a ring that I would want.

[01:00:39]>> Yeah. From 94. And I'm so happy that she got to die because she wanted to for like eight years, so it was kind of long overdue.

[01:00:48]>> My grandma turned 96 on Tuesday.

[01:00:51]>> Oh my god. Not to rub it in. Um, but >> my grandma's funeral was on Tuesday.

[01:00:56]>> What?

[01:00:57]>> Wow. Circle of life.

[01:00:58]>> Close enough. Welcome back to your grandma.

[01:01:00]>> No, I'm sorry that was not kosh. But she talks about death and dying so casually.

[01:01:08]>> Yeah.

[01:01:08]>> That we'll be sitting having coffee and it's like 7:45 in the morning and I'm like, "Um, do you do you want anything up here? I'm going to I'm going to make some toast." She's like, "Tast is great when I'm on the other side and you're having toast." And I'm like, "Please don't throw in when I'm on the other side and I'm about to butter my cookie butter my toast."

[01:01:28]>> I'm chilling over here.

[01:01:29]>> My grandma kept saying, "I can't wait for my dirt nap."

[01:01:33]>> That's that takes it a level. Yeah.

[01:01:34]>> But it is kind of nice like being an adult with like a dying grandparent cuz it's like I'm not a child. I don't expect her to live forever. I know she's going to die. And I was like able to have conversations with her about like dying. And I was like, "How do you want me to see you when you're gone?" Like, you know, some people are like, "Ladybugs or butterflies." And so I'm like, "How do you want me to see you?"

[01:01:56]And she goes, "Money." And I was like, "Oh, like a lucky penny on the ground."

[01:02:01]And she goes, "Nope, just cash." I was like, "Okay." She's like, >> I like her.

[01:02:05]>> Yeah. She was fierce.

[01:02:06]>> I also think that it's really helpful to know that when you get up to a certain age, like >> you do want to die. Like you're ready.

[01:02:13]And that is cuz it's one of my bigger fears in life is just like what if I'm not what if I want more and I'm not ready to go. It's nice to know that people are ready to go.

[01:02:22]>> I feel like what you just said about nothing's better than your head hitting your pillow. I do feel like it might be just like I am so tired. I cannot wait to take a nap.

[01:02:32]>> Yeah.

[01:02:33]>> That's like what Ram Dah says. It's like death is like taking off a tight shoe.

[01:02:38]>> Oh, >> I'm like, "Oh my gosh, >> take off a tight shoe this afternoon.

[01:02:43]I'm just kidding. I'm not. I'm not.

[01:02:46]>> That's why I like getting like a a procedure. You get the propall and you're like, I kind of died for a second. But that's what they say is a real thing. Like the anesthes like when you go under general anesthesia, your body really believes it's experiencing death. And so there are like long-term psychological effects that happen from from having anesthesia.

[01:03:08]>> Yeah. From going under.

[01:03:11]They can't get me under.

[01:03:13]>> What? Are you a redhead?

[01:03:16]>> Maybe they can't get you under.

[01:03:18]>> Uh, they can't get my ass under. I am over like the whole time. I got my wisdom teeth out and they're like, "G him up." They were turning it up and I'm like crying laughing. It was like laugh and then they were like, "Put them under." And I was like, and they just had to do it cuz they had a time slot.

[01:03:34]They had other people that needed their teeth done. I was up the whole time as they're pulling my wisdom teeth out.

[01:03:39]They're like, "Here's one. Here's two.

[01:03:40]Here's three. Here's four. All right, go home.

[01:03:43]>> Oh my god.

[01:03:43]>> Did you feel it, though?

[01:03:44]>> What's weird about was the way that they took mine out.

[01:03:47]>> Uh they had to This is >> crack them and like they couldn't pull them out just straight out.

[01:03:54]>> They're breaking them up like as they were pulling them out. So, they were taking out pieces. One came out >> full.

[01:03:59]>> Mhm.

[01:04:00]>> They let me keep it, but the other ones were >> Yeah. I think they were impacted or something.

[01:04:05]>> I'm thinking about booking a colonoscopy just so I could take a little nap. girl propall that 30 seconds >> and I can flush.

[01:04:14]>> Yes. I want to get that drink prep. But prep is a lot better now cuz now you can eat a light breakfast.

[01:04:20]>> They put you under.

[01:04:21]>> Yes, you can. You can eat a light breakfast.

[01:04:23]>> Put you under for a colonoscopy.

[01:04:25]>> Yeah. But they use the Michael Jackson drug, the propall. So it's like a very fast acting anesthetic. So >> so nice.

[01:04:32]>> Really?

[01:04:32]>> Yeah. I don't know if you have a drug problem, but it rules.

[01:04:35]>> I don't yet till I get my colonoscopy.

[01:04:38]But that's interesting if you do get a colonoscopy at the Valley um you have to tell them like hey it's really I have this experience with um previous anesthesia because you never want to be awake for it and some people do report like nightmare scenarios of like >> being awake during a colonoscopy >> awake but they're not able to verbalize.

[01:04:58]>> I think a colonoscopy I wouldn't mind being I don't think that'd be the worst thing to be awake for. You know, I've I've had worse anal before they came out.

[01:05:07]>> Wait, you're scaring everyone right now.

[01:05:09]>> But this is a true thing. Like Bobby just got a colonoscopy and he's um he was addicted to opiates for a certain portion of his life. So he has to disclose that because his threshold might be higher for a certain opiates.

[01:05:22]>> So what did he get?

[01:05:23]>> He got the propall and it was fine. And he was like, "Oh, I'm going to sing a song. I'm going to sing the whole song.

[01:05:28]You're never going to put me down." And he was out in the first the second word of the song.

[01:05:31]>> What did they find in his coin? Nothing, [ __ ] This [ __ ] guy smoked for He's a cockroach. He's a He's a literal Greenland shark. He has not a single polip. Not a single anything.

[01:05:43]>> That's how it goes.

[01:05:44]>> And it pisses me off. Well, I'm happy for him, but also it's like I wanted to be like, you see that polip and now that that whole thing, you know, I Yeah.

[01:05:54]>> My 96-year-old grandma who went to the casino on Tuesday for her birthday, >> amazing, >> drank margaritas. She has her cocktail of choice is boxed frania wine. She's drank that for years >> and pre-made Joseé Querva margarita mix which is just like a 140 grams of sugar per glass >> and she smoked cigarettes pack a day for years and years and years and years and years stopped one day. But >> I'm like and she's 100% healthy. She's beat cancer twice.

[01:06:24]>> Oh god.

[01:06:25]>> These are the these are the cancers.

[01:06:27]>> Uh lymphoma and breast. Wow, that so inspiration.

[01:06:31]>> These are the Greenland sharks. They live up to 400 years if you let them.

[01:06:35]They are um like lobsters. They're like, what do you call biologically immortal?

[01:06:40]>> Yeah. I think that Yeah. No natural predators.

[01:06:43]>> Yeah. Not even Joseé Cor.

[01:06:45]>> No, truly. Jose is safe.

[01:06:47]>> My grandma probably would have lived that long if and for illegal reasons, this is a parody, if my uncle didn't slowly kill her.

[01:06:55]>> I understand. by starving her and not taking her to her appointments. Haha, this is a joke. Allegedly.

[01:07:02]>> Allegedly. Everything is alleged.

[01:07:04]>> No, I I think so much of it is like >> especially with like the cancers and I think it's all mental. Like if you're She's not stressed out about how much she's drinking or whatever. She's like, "No, it's I am a healthy person.

[01:07:15]>> I'm active.

[01:07:16]>> I do believe in you are tapping into my new personality." Thank you, Connor. Let me tell you right now to the kids at the Children's Hospital of Los Angeles.

[01:07:25]>> Well, before you get into this, I'd like to counter this point. I think that there are people, and I'm going to say Greenland shark again. I think there are people made for vices that are built like tanks. And then you have my niece and my niece who has just recently picked up smoking two days uh two two cigarettes a day >> two to three >> landed landed in the ER for severe chest pain and possible like cardiac implications. What >> and I said listen there are there are people in our family who are made for vices. You're not one of them. Your body cannot handle this.

[01:07:59]>> Is she going to stop now?

[01:08:00]>> Yeah. How do you know it was two to three? Because of course the first thing when I she came to babysit I'm like how many a day?

[01:08:07]>> Okay.

[01:08:07]>> And she said two to three. She's like only two to three. I'm like and then when I told Dave wait this Okay.

[01:08:15]>> Sorry. My niece Jules she's >> Can we share this things that can be shared? Okay. So I told Dave my husband I was like Jules is smoking two to three cigarettes a day and he laughed at me.

[01:08:23]He's like two to three. He's like that's not even a real smoker. He was being so defensive about it. He's bad. I as someone who's never smoked, I'm with you. I'm like, uh-uh.

[01:08:34]>> Yeah. Two to three is like my goal.

[01:08:37]>> I'm like, one day I'll only be down to two or three.

[01:08:39]>> Wait. Okay, so new personality unlocked.

[01:08:42]Remember, we're go circling back to the beginning of the episode when I said I was DMing with a midwife. She said something to me that I am absolutely making my new mantra.

[01:08:52]Pleasure is medicine.

[01:08:55]And I'm not saying like do bad vices, but I do think if you're doing things that are pleasurable, they can be good for you. But I'm not a I'm not going to like start doing drugs again. Like I'm done with that. But um I just it's for me I'm like wanting to lean into things that feel good instead of being like life has to be rigid and I have to follow rules. Like >> So you guys don't mind if I like shove this banana up my [ __ ] >> No, that would be medicinal.

[01:09:19]>> Trying to live really long.

[01:09:20]>> That would be medicinal.

[01:09:22]>> You just want to hit 90. That's all.

[01:09:24]>> I feel like we've hit >> Go ahead and close it on that.

[01:09:27]>> We've hit death. We've hit life. Like, we've hit everything today. I did not expect >> to go on this roller coaster with you guys. Come back, Connor.

[01:09:34]>> I would love to. I would love to.

[01:09:36]>> This was so nice.

[01:09:37]>> This is the farthest I've ever driven in my life.

[01:09:40]>> I'm The only other time I've been where we are now is when an Uber driver took my phone and said I had to pick it up from his house. But I would gladly do it to come back if you'll have me. This is so fun. So easy. You guys are so good at this.

[01:09:53]>> Oh my gosh. Well, you guys are so fun.

[01:09:55]Are is everybody on tour? Are you on tour?

[01:09:57]>> I have a couple shows coming up.

[01:09:58]>> Anything to plug you guys, my love.

[01:10:00]>> Oh yeah, I also have a podcast. If you guys like don't have anything going on after you listen to this one, Brooke and Connor make a podcast.

[01:10:06]>> It's so funny.

[01:10:07]>> It's fun. It's a fun one. Thank you. And then um I have some shows coming up.

[01:10:11]Fort Lauderdale is the 10th and 11th of June. Tampa is the 12th and Orlando the 13th. And I'm filming a a special >> there. It's a We're calling it a spectacle instead of a special because I don't know how how special it's going to be because it's gonna be It's gonna be a spectacle more so I would say. So, I'm excited.

[01:10:29]>> I can't wait.

[01:10:30]>> It'll be It'll be fun. We're >> The spectacle is happening in Orlando.

[01:10:33]>> It's going to We're going to film it over three days >> in Orlando.

[01:10:36]>> Orlando, Tampa, and Fort Lauderdale.

[01:10:38]>> Amazing.

[01:10:39]>> I'm excited. Well, >> are you going to go to Disney World?

[01:10:41]>> We are. We're going to go to Disney World in Orlando, >> which is where Disney World is.

[01:10:48]Ally, where are you?

[01:10:49]>> I'm doing shows all over. Go to aliy makovsky.com/shows.

[01:10:54]We have a Patreon.

[01:10:55]>> We do have a Patreon.

[01:10:56]>> We love our patrons.

[01:10:58]patreon.com/rashtoday trashuesday podcast link below.

[01:11:02]>> Catch EB at Sephora.

[01:11:04]>> Yes.

[01:11:04]>> Catch a wave of EB.

[01:11:06]>> Smells so good.

[01:11:07]>> Conor's favorite shampoo. And we'll see you next week with a brand new episode.

[01:11:10]Thanks, guys.

[01:11:25]Heat.