Wedding Rules on TikTok Are Insufferable..

Added: 2026-05-12

[00:00:00]Am I going to get jumped in the comments for saying that I don't really care for weddings all that much? Even thinking about having my own, I'm just like, "All right, grats, I guess." I feel like everybody would make fun of me anyways for just wanting to have an intimate gaff with family and friends. Nothing too crazy. I really don't know why I need to go into credit card debt just so that it's aesthetic for everybody else.

[00:00:29]I really don't care, man. Show up in jorts. Show up in white. I wouldn't even be wearing a white dress if I was to have a serious wedding. Anyways, bring the kids. Bring the cats. No one gets turned away at my wedding bash. Family function. Gath. Enough about me for a sec. Weddings are sort of funeral like to me. You have to wear this specific attire. You absolutely cannot cancel under any circumstance. There can't be too much fun or else that takes away from the bride and groom having the attention all on them. It's all well and good until you have to spend hundreds of dollars on an outfit you specifically can't ever wear again because not only is it not your style, but I mean, how many weddings are you going to go to that all have the same dress code? No, don't even start me, lad. No, don't even. I'm not in the mood for this today.

[00:01:30]Or how about spending thousands upon thousands of dollars just to go overseas to a wedding destination where you still get treated like a horrible friend if it just so happens you are dead broke and cannot afford to go.

[00:01:45]>> Cuz since when did getting married turn into this luxurious hosting of an international event in which you were expecting your friends to bankroll and just front? somehow turning into the bad person for saying no because I refuse to fly to Spain, spending thousands of dollars on flights, hotels, what have you. This is absurd. And to end a friendship over it, >> the expectations of the wedding industry is something that truly twists my undies and we're about to find out just why that is. So, a controversial thing that I'm doing for my wedding is if you no show my wedding, you RSVPs and then you don't show up and you don't send me a text to be like, "Hey, this like crazy thing happened or like this is what's going on, there's no good justification for why you no showed my wedding." We are not friends anymore. You are not in my life anymore unless you pay me back for your plate, which will be about $250 ahead. Life has this really funny way of changing its course on a dime. It's easy to say, "Don't RSVP if you plan on no showing." Why say you're going to go?

[00:02:47]Make me think you're coming and then at the very last minute not show up. I don't know about cutting people off like that. I feel like that's a very extreme reaction towards something that could have been handled a lot better. Like, why are you even paying $250 per person to eat? I feel like this is a really separate issue. It is one thing for somebody to RSVP, say that they're coming to the wedding, make you believe that they're coming to the wedding, then when push comes to shove, they're not showing up, but I feel like her paying $250 per plate, per head, rather, is more on her than it is on her guests. I mean, ma'am, are you not in charge of planning your wedding? In this economy, I'm not even spending $250 per week on two people's groceries. I also feel as though one of the biggest reasons as to why this does not really sit well with me so far is because I've never really felt too chill about holding money over a human being's head. Because here's what's not going to happen. You are not going to say that you're coming to my very intimate small wedding where I was not able to invite a lot of like my friends that I wish could have come because of the size constraints. You're not going to say you are coming and then not come when that seat could have gone to somebody else and I'm going to be paying for your plate so that you could not come and not show up. I think that is so incredibly rude and like disloyal.

[00:04:12]I really do see where she's coming from as that must be super frustrating to deal with organizing a small and intimate wedding only to have one of the what 20 people not show up as it would be really hard to choose between 20 people in your entire life. Like I don't even know if I have 20 people if I'm being really honest. This is part of the reason as to why I really can't imagine myself having such a traditional wedding as it feels like so much pressure I'm putting onto other people to celebrate a day that's only really [ __ ] important to me. I'm the one who is going to be spending the rest of my life with my married partner, not any of y'all. So you y'all are here to celebrate me and and kind of benefit off of eating mad food, drinking mad drinks, having a lot of fun. I think it is really important to show up for your friends and family.

[00:05:09]It is even more important when it comes to somebody's wedding day because that is a really meaningful day to a lot of people. I may have some non-traditional views in that I don't really know why people care about wedding days this much, but I of course acknowledge that not everybody perceives the world through my eyes. I totally agree that it sucks to have had somebody RSVP for the wedding and usually RSVPs come out months in advance to the date as well.

[00:05:39]So, you have a lot of time to think about whether you would be able to take time off for the wedding. And it's a bit strange to have RSVPd months in advance and then at the very last second you're like, um, actually, no, I don't really feel like going anymore. It's something that can make you look like an unreliable and uncaring friend. I don't necessarily think it's disloyal to prioritize emergencies and things that you may have over booked in conjunction with RSVPing for a wedding as well. I also understand that I'm not going to take priority over someone's [ __ ] kid. Like, I don't expect that of any of my friends, and I have a few friends who have kids, and we've made plans with each other, and the plans don't really go to plan because I'm not their priority. Their kid is their priority in that moment. And I'm not offended or upset or hurt by that whatsoever because it's like, you know, being child-free, it's really [ __ ] cool. And I tell people this, I'm like, "Yeah, this is kind of my plan if anybody does this."

[00:06:42]And they're like, "What? That's crazy."

[00:06:43]And I'm like, "That's crazy. It's crazy to ask for people to pay you back for their seat at your wedding that you paid for when they said they were coming and then they didn't show up. That's crazy.

[00:06:52]That is the crazy behavior. Not me asking for the Venmo request. I think both sides are crazy. If I'm being honest, as a friend, I am not going to hold it against you that you cancelled on me last second, even when it comes to my own wedding day. We are not on this earth for very long. I also feel like it's not your friends's responsibility to give you back money that you chose to spend on an event. This may be quite the controversial take, and my eye is already twitching at the stress of saying something like this. you chose to pay $250 per head for food. That cost is something that you eat regardless of the apps come. If I have a friend that cancels on me for anything, even when it comes to having a wedding, I'm not just going to say, "Well, could you please give me back that money that I spent on that switch for you for your birthday?

[00:07:50]Thanks." And I'm also just never going to speak to you again, even though this wedding is about me. It's not really about any of yours. My main point being she should have just gone with cheaper food alternatives instead of spending $250 per head. That is [ __ ] crazy. And I feel like she would be so much less upset if she had have just spent say like $50 max per head as it's like food does not need to be that expensive. And here's the thing. I think I'm going to be pretty reasonable about it. If like something came up that made it so you couldn't come to my wedding, okay, like I get it. Things happen. No need. But if you don't have a good excuse, guess what? You better block me on Venmo cuz I'm going to be blowing you up. No.

[00:08:33]Because what exactly is your definition of a good enough excuse? Does somebody have to drop dead in order for you to be like, "Okay, yeah, that's a really valid excuse for not coming to my wedding because they can't actually get here.

[00:08:47]They're not breathing." This is exactly why I don't really love weddings for the most part as these days it feels like it's not about celebrating matrimony.

[00:08:59]It's more about the aesthetics of how photos will look on Instagram. Moving on. How do we feel about kids attending weddings? It's quite the contentious topic when it comes to being invited to a wedding, having children, and not really being able to go because you have a child, and that child is far more important than your wedding. Ma'am, when my parents got married, my brother was just born, my sister was a toddler, and I think I had just turned five. All of us kids were present at the wedding, during the ceremony and even at the reception. There were also a lot of kids at the wedding and there was nothing that took place of the sort that we see happen nowadays. Me personally, when it comes to that time to actually have a wedding and get married and all that kind of [ __ ] if you want to bring your kids, bring them. I don't care. Like there is something so isolating about this part of the topic. Now, of course, we've seen so many videos on social media where it depicts children as literal spawns of Satan at weddings.

[00:10:13]It's why people don't want kids at their weddings to kind of avoid all of that drama. You know, taking away the attention from the bride and groom, having it be really loud. I get that. to expect parents to somehow find the money these days in this economy to hire a babysitter all day just to look after their kid while they're at a wedding is crazy as it's like okay you don't want kids at your wedding that's completely fine but when a parent says you know what I'm actually going to prioritize being with my child and then you get angry at that that's crazy that is where I draw the line >> people who throw child-free weddings are some of the most entitled childish people I have ever met in my my entire life. Now, am I a monster? No. Right?

[00:10:57]Like, if you want a wedding that is free from distraction during your ceremony and your reception, you don't want someone screaming, you don't want kids running around. Like, I completely understand that, right? Like, I I completely get that you want the perfect day the way you've planned it. I'm not going to argue with that. Where I have an issue is recently we received an evite for a wedding for someone that I had not I'm not close with in the slightest. I the last time I was friends with this person was 2008. So, you can imagine my surprise when I got a freaking ebite for this thing. Okay. And I get this and I'm like, I'm not going to this, but whatever. So, I look through and on the thing on the ebite says like we respectfully ask uh that kids aren't coming to like the ceremony of the reception. Totally fine. I've got my excuse. Great. So, I go to the wedding website. I RSVP know. I go to the registry and I send a gift because I was raised, right? That's where that interaction should have ended. That's not the case. Three days later, I get a long scroll of a freaking text message that essentially is saying to me like, "Why can't you come?" Which, first of all, I think is rude. Okay. Second of all, you have no idea if I have another wedding to go to. Third of all, we're not close. Okay. We're not We're not close. So then I respond back and I say, "Hey, I saw that it's a child-free.

[00:12:08]Respecting that boundary. I hope you guys have the best day ever. I can't wait to see photos." Which is a lie cuz we're not even friends on social media, so I don't give a [ __ ] Anywh who, >> if we don't follow each other on Instagram, we are not close. whatsoever.

[00:12:20]Like, I'm not coming to your wedding, bro. That's a clear indicator that you guys haven't been friends for longer than a minute now. They also don't want kids at the wedding. Yeah, I know. Kind of kind of get [ __ ] >> I get hit back with the, "Well, why can't you just hire a babysitter?

[00:12:38]Why are you fighting me on this?" So, now I'm in an awkward position where I have to tell you that like, it's not that I can't, it's not that I won't, it's that I don't want to. And like what I should have said was, "Hey, my husband and I work 40 hours a week. Julia Roberts is in daycare 40 hours a week.

[00:12:55]She's a foster child, so it's different." Like I'm not any parent who goes to a wedding and hires a babysitter. I'm not saying that you're a bad parent. Not in the slightest. That's not what I'm saying at all. Please don't take that away from the story. What I'm saying is like we have foster kids and we don't know if they're going to be here for a long time. We don't know if they're going to be here for a short time. So for us, we value spending our time with with those kids. And so like I that's what I want to do. so [ __ ] valid. Even if they weren't foster children and they were your biological children, I feel like prioritizing kids is something that a lot of people who do not have children don't understand. Now, I'm one of those I'm one of those in the mix with yours, okay? I don't have kids myself, but when you have friends who do have children, you start to realize, wow, these people are kind of like this person's entire life. And for me to not invite the children as well would kind of make them feel a little bit isolated and I don't want my friends to feel like that. It's completely fine to not want to have kids at your wedding. I'm not debating that whatsoever. But I think that people forget about situations like these. Having foster children is already such an undertaking and it's kind of like you don't know how long you're going to be able to spend time with them. Now, given he just explained like him and his husband work 40 hours a week, that's so much time that they are missing out on spending with these kids.

[00:14:23]So, if I'm invited to a wedding by somebody that I haven't been friends with for like well over 16 years, and they also tell me, "We don't want your kids there either." Okay, well, then I'm not coming. And for them to be offended by that is [ __ ] insane to me. like I'm really trying to put myself in this other person's shoes and see it from their perspective. As it's like maybe I'm too lenient of a friend, maybe I'm too lowmaintenance in that I completely understand people have their own lives that they've got to deal with and I have mine. And I want to know that of course we're going to be here for each other, but no pressure whatsoever. This situation is a little bit different because um they haven't spoken since 2008. If y'all haven't spoken since the great financial crash, that's crazy to me. It's 2026 now. Imagine being in the foster kids situation where you're already having to deal with so many challenges. You're in child care. You already don't get to spend quite enough time with your parents and then the time that you do have with your parents, they choose to spend it elsewhere. Like this is a great father. instead. Uh, 2008, Manny came running from the back. I didn't even know he was still alive. And I may have said something along the lines of like, "I'd rather watch my child [ __ ] herself and roll around in it all night than listen to terrible speeches about your love story that I'm not connected to, eat awful catered food, and then listen to the DJ who lived down the hall from us at Satan Hall at Sacred Heart University who's still trying to make it big."

[00:15:56]I think I went a little too far. I probably went too far. But what's really great, I got I got a text message the other day with a screenshot from a group chat with my text screenshotted and then everyone talking about me underneath it. So, first of all, you're welcome. You're welcome for the entertainment. You're welcome for the uh the gossip, the fodder, the the thing you're going to talk about and beat like a dead horse for the next 9 months. You're welcome. I totally see why people opt in to having a child-free wedding. as hearing a baby squeal crying isn't something you want to be hearing whilst you're looking at hubby in the eyes ready to commit your entire life to the back scratches the midnight mackers runs and then boom it's also for the fact that so many people lack common sense when it comes to bringing their small children to a wedding and the parents won't step outside just for a second to make sure that baby is okay, but that the married couple get to have their moment as well.

[00:17:00]2000's kids or earlier, I would love to hear you sound off in the comments section below with this particular part of the video. When I was a kid, I was going to weddings, being at my own parents' wedding. You know, there weren't any children crying. There weren't any tantrums being thrown. We were all interacting with each other, playing with each other, having that, you know, like kid fun, that childlike wonder. And this may be a little crazy, but I feel like the tolerance for children in general has gotten so low these days to the point where it's like kids are far too under stimulated. The second they don't have an iPad in front of their faces, all hell breaks loose.

[00:17:41]These kids are a part of one of the loneliest generations that we have known. There isn't that sense of playing with other children anymore. Children don't take it upon themselves to go up to another child and, you know, try and make friends. These kids are so much less involved with their communities more than ever before. And that just was not something that happened when I was a kid. Now, of course, I wasn't at every single wedding that was had in the early 2000s, but I do think it's somewhat interesting to speak about the contrast between back then and what it's like now. Because what you'll see a lot of at weddings now are children stuck into their iPads, not playing with each other, not making any memories whatsoever with each other. And now we have this sort of society that wants to avoid children in general. We want to live in a child-free world. We want to avoid any slight discomfort. And again, I completely understand wanting to have a child-free wedding. But it also must feel so isolating growing up and not having those memories, those really core important normal human being memories.

[00:18:52]You know, being at your parents' wedding, your cousin's wedding, the family friend's wedding. Children almost have nowhere to build their tolerance towards the world. And what do I mean by that? These kids are antisocial for a reason. Nobody wants to teach them how to interact with each other. And then that's why we get situations like how we see on social media. And because everybody is too afraid to deal with that, which again, I understand that completely. That's what we call life.

[00:19:22]It's not aesthetic. It's messy. It's noisy sometimes. And that's perfectly okay. No kids is a perfectly valid thing to request, but be prepared for people to not want to go to your wedding.

[00:19:36]>> I was just asked to leave my friend's wedding. It was a June wedding in Los Angeles. I was looking forward to it so much. I flew from DC to LAX on a morning flight to get here in time, and I'm going to be taking a red eye to get back. I had to take time off work to travel and miss another friend's birthday party. But this is somebody that I've known since high school, like literally 10 years now.

[00:19:56]>> No. No. No. No. Do not tell me she got kicked out of the wedding. Don't. Don't.

[00:20:02]I'm not in THE MOOD AGAIN. I MAY NEED TO GO BACK THERE.

[00:20:05]>> A decade of friendship and I showed up.

[00:20:07]I purchased something from the registry.

[00:20:08]I was so excited and then the maid of honor asked me to leave. Apparently, I did not fit the dress code. The invitation said black tie and this is what I wore with black heels.

[00:20:20]And now I'm here in my hotel room and I have nothing else to do. That is such a gorgeous dress. She looked so classy and elegant and might I add very wedding worthy. This is another reason I hate weddings. It's like I get that you want your day to be perfect. I really [ __ ] do. But I feel like you are a bad friend putting that much stock into a wedding that you have someone be kicked out.

[00:20:47]Your friend be kicked out. She purchased a gift from the registry. She took time off of work. She missed another event.

[00:20:55]And she even took a flight to where you are. That's a really good [ __ ] friend in my opinion. She's showing up. Oh, but she's not really wearing what you know everybody else is should be wearing. Oh my god, you guys. Like this is why as well tradition just sucks. A good rule of thumb that I usually have for when it comes to black tie events is just wearing black. I already have this really big issue with people telling me what to wear, what I should and should not look like. Now, that's due to my own experiences in life where people always tried to change me. But I understand the world doesn't revolve around me. So, I got to change for some people sometimes.

[00:21:36]This is what I wore to a black tie wedding a couple of years ago. And you know, I didn't have a whole great deal of money at the time to drop a few hundred on a black tie dress that I was never going to wear again because that kind of thing also goes against my morals and ethics. When I buy clothes, I'm not buying them to only wear them once and then chuck in the closet forever. I'm buying clothes for the purpose to wear them until they're unwearable anymore, until they turn into smitherreens. Otherwise, like, I'm just changing Fortnite skins, really. That was an outfit that I got so many compliments on. And you know, it was mainly just men in suits at this wedding. It wasn't really crazy about what the women wore, just as long as you're not wearing white or like jeans or anything casual like that. But I feel like this dress was so suited for a black tie. And it being summer in Los Angeles, having been someone be in LA when it has been cold, that [ __ ] ain't cold. that that's still warm. As an Australian, you know, it's always pretty hot here. I also feel as though that some people at weddings look for excuses to start drama. They start exercising unreasonable power that they don't have and shouldn't have to begin with. You're just the maid OF HONOR, GIRL. YOU ARE NOT THE BRIDE. IF THE BRIDE DIDN'T say anything about it, then shut the maid of honor should have never kicked her out. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this dress. If you wanted her to wear a [ __ ] suit and tie, maybe just say that. And to be quite honest, if you're none of the bridesmaids or the maid of honor, does what you're wearing really matter to begin with? I don't know. Hot take. Hot take. I got kicked out of a former friend's bridal party because I was not able to afford the very expensive bachelorette party, which included bottle service at Tao and very expensive prefix menu at Maple and Ash.

[00:23:30]The bride never asked any of the girls our budgets, what we were able to spend during this, and she was also having a destination wedding to a very expensive destination. I'm going to have to quickly stop you there, girl. I'm getting really hot in this shirt right now. This sounds like a very selfish and entitled friend to expect you to go into literal credit card debt just to celebrate her getting married. I don't get it. She wants to make her dream her friends's problem and then also cover all the expenses on top of that.

[00:24:01]Absolutely not. That is actually the kind of [ __ ] that would make me drop you as a friend. No showing at last second.

[00:24:08]Don't care. But you want me to spend money I don't have? No. No. If you want that, you pay for that. So many people act like their wedding day is the most important day of everyone's lives. And it's so toxic considering bachelorette parties. aren't really supposed to be this lugs experience where everybody spends tens of thousands of dollars in one night. Yeah, no thank you. Let's go back to normalizing simple things like one day affordable parties at the club.

[00:24:41]This is just [ __ ] ridiculous. But she also says that this friend is having an expensive destination wedding. Who do you THINK YOU ARE? SO, NOT ONLY DO I have to go out and buy a gift, buy a brand new dress that could cost up to like $500, I have to pay for plane tickets and accommodation for your destination wedding, but I also have to funnel money out my [ __ ] hole just so that you have a great bachelorette party. Not my problem. Not my problem, bro. It wasn't until after the Airbnb was booked and paid for that we were told what all of the activities would be. going all in for the bachelor I would have caused about my mortgage costs. So I spoke with the bride about my discomfort with spending this much money and essentially we came to the conclusion that I simply could not afford it. I don't think it's right to string your friends along and then wait until it's time to go to the Airbnb and then drop bombs on your friends like this. Like you're going to have to spend your mortgage money tonight on my bachelorette party. Why do people not ask questions anymore? Like I get it.

[00:25:46]I'm the most anxious person that I know of. I too find it really hard to have confrontation with people and ask questions that don't really feel all that comfy. But when it's a matter of money, when it's a matter of how much money you're going to be spending all in one night, you have to ask what you're going to be doing. Of course, word came back to me at the bachelorette party that she was talking bad [ __ ] about me.

[00:26:08]And then she later kicked me out of the bridal party. Anyway, her wedding happened not that long ago and the tea and the drama and the fallout between the rest of her bridesmaids. I just love being on the right side of history here.

[00:26:19]It's always a telltale sign of a person's character if they expect you to spend thousands upon thousands of dollars on them. I'll even go as far as to say that I've never even asked one of my friends if they could buy me a coffee. Never mind asking people to spend even $100 on me in a night.

[00:26:39]thousands of dollars. Are you serious?

[00:26:41]And then to [ __ ] talk her behind her back truly goes to show what kind of person she is. She values the money more than she does friends. I feel like if you want to ball out and have an extravagant crazy ass night, that's kind of up to you to pay for. If you even so much so as to dare expect me to drop thousands of dollars on a bachelorette party in one night for you, consider yourself not my friend anymore. Someone in the comments had mentioned that they went bowling and got Mexican food for their bachelorette party. And what's crazy about that is that sounds like what I'm going to be doing, except I'm going to be requiring all you [ __ ] to play Guitar Hero with me. One on bass, one on drums, one on guitar, one on the mic. Life is so simple. You can have fun without spending so much money just to have pictures to post about. And I feel like if you need that kind of money just to have fun, you sound pretty boring to me. So, with all of that being said, everybody, have you been to a wedding where you felt like the rules there were really unnecessary? Let me know down in the comments section below. Thank you so much for your stay in Yappersville today, everybody. I love seeing all your beautiful faces here. Take care of yourselves and most of all, love your [ __ ] selves.