So Uh... How Was YOUR First Conservative Gay Cruise?

Added: 2026-05-12

[00:00:00]Hey, so really quick before we begin, because I know I'm going to get a ton of comments about this, I wrote and filmed this video before the news broke about Hivirus on the cruise ship. So, in case you're wondering why I don't make any references to it, uh, yeah, greetings, my good [ __ ] The name's Francis Coke Francis. I'm an editor, Twitch streamer, drag artist, and I'm here because I'm trying to b my time until the next hetereroesome fest. But bless my cold gay heart. There are members of my own community who are making just as much of an embarrassment of themselves. For some reason, gay people really love cruises.

[00:00:39]It's just one of those gay activities I never really got on board with. Pun fully intended, like spending sweltering summers in Palm Springs or obsessing over Kirsty Alley. No disrespect whatsoever if you're a gay who likes gay cruises. I just feel like you can find gay people in other places, you know? I guess I can see the appeal, though.

[00:01:04]Sometimes the only way to achieve complete isolation from straight people is in the middle of a goddamn ocean that you can puke all that absolute vodka and roomtemp lobster into. Later, you'll rush to the front desk for a first aid kit after receiving a glitter stamper to the eye in a violent night of drag bingo. Bonus points if you can catch Paula Poundstone doing a tight 10 in a frightening liinal space where no one but the octopuses can hear you scream.

[00:01:32]Or maybe it's more fun than that. I don't know. I'm not a cruise guy. I have no interest in the ocean. The ocean has no interest in me. I just really like riding second person gothics. Again, no disrespect if you like gay cruises.

[00:01:44]Maybe they're a lot of fun. This is just personal opinion. And I imagine they really came in clutch back when it was much more dangerous to be publicly out.

[00:01:52]But it turns out, my good [ __ ] it's much more dangerous these days to be out than you might realize. You constantly run the risk of being shunned by others simply for how you're trying to live your life. You want to be loud and proud, but you're constantly being silenced by the world around you. You know who the true enemy is, and it's a harrowing feeling knowing that you'll never be accepted by society at large.

[00:02:16]and you want to finally meet others who will support your lifestyle no matter what. If this sounds all too familiar, you'll be delighted to hear about the first ever gay and lesbian conservative cruise. That's right, good [ __ ] Are you a gay man or lesbian who wants some common sense and decency at Pride? Or better yet, no pride at all since we apparently don't need it. Are you an LG who wants to drop the tea? And with any luck, those pesky bees as well. Do you want to meet other gays who love the country that treats them as secondclass citizens? Want to show off those sundamaged tattoos and over- the-neee tan chinos? Did you think Roland Emer Stonewall movie was actually good? Then there is no destination more suitable for you than the 2026 gay and lesbian conservative cruise brought to you by Right ofCenter Events, an organization that exclusively caters to the not like other gays pickmies out there. Gen X queers who think that trans people are going to dicks slap them while they're on the potty, but have zero issue putting a pile racist into the White House. Now you can all meet on a big boat somewhere. But you know what they say when the call is coming from inside the house. Turn up the music. But believe it or not, there is a way to hear both at the same time with none other than the bone conduction headphones from the sponsor of today's video, Raycon. Spring is finally here and it's a perfect time to refresh your routine and get that vitamin D that I clearly need. I refuse to give up listening to music for anything. So, I've been using Raycon's bone conduction headphones and I love how easy they are to wear when I'm getting into drag or when I'm at the gym trying to become queen yolked Francis. No, I will not be posting thirst traps. Stop asking. Check it out. They fit under my wig. They sit outside your ears, sending sounds through vibrations in your bones, so you can listen to music or podcasts while still being aware of what's happening around you. Whether a car is honking at you, or your name is being announced at the Emmys, or the cruise ship you're on is sinking and you want to hear that string quartet one last time, you'll be able to hear it all while still getting crystal clear music, podcasts, and calls. And now is the best time to try them because they are 15% off. Raycon's bone conduction headphones are also built for all day use with 13 hours of battery life and a no bud fit that doesn't slip, so they'll stay comfy and secure in any situation. They're also IP68 waterproof and dustproof, so they're perfect for sweat or rain or even long romantic walks on the beach.

[00:04:49]But Francis, doesn't this sound awfully expensive? That's the kicker, though.

[00:04:54]Raycon gives you premium performance without the premium price tag. Their quality rivals the big boy audio brands at half the cost. Over three million customers agree, and they come with a 30-day happiness guarantee. The bone conduction headphones are perfect for refreshing your routine this spring. So, just click the link in the description box or go to byracon.com/qcfbc for 15% off. Thank you to Raycon for sponsoring this video. And with that, back to our regularly scheduled programming. And once again, before we begin, I just want to give another gigantic thank you to everyone who's been donating to or sharing my friend Raya's chuffed campaign. If you're new here, I am currently helping to sponsor a beautiful family who's fighting for survival in the horrific ongoing genocide in Gaza. And I'm trying to get the word out and raise as much money for them as possible. And I'm so so unbelievably grateful to have such kind and generous people as fans and subscribers, especially during such a financially difficult time worldwide.

[00:06:03]Her fundraiser is still going if you haven't yet had the chance to donate or even just share the link. That honestly really helps as well. And you can find that link in the description box. Thank you so much for showing love to this amazing family. Thank you for continuing to support a free Palestine. Now, let's laugh at the latest episode of Chickens for KFC together. Even though gay cruises aren't anything new, and they are fun, safe spaces for the community, even if it isn't my thing. It turns out, my good [ __ ] these inclusive cruises, inclusives are actually incredibly excruciary to And that's showbiz, baby. Introducing right of center events, a new travel concept for the conservative gay and lesbian traveler, their friends and admirers, making vacations great again.

[00:06:56]Oh, brother. Uh, all right, RSC. Uh, what you got? What you packing? What's your deal here? Focusing on a quality experience. Why is quality and quotation marks on your own goddamn website?

[00:07:09]Please, guys, the jokes already write themselves. If I come up with any on my own, I'll suffocate. Right ofcenter events is all about the details, ensuring that every traveler is prepared and informed about their next adventure with us. Our team is well traveled, looking for new and exciting places to explore. For a group that's all about the details, that sure is a vague mission statement. Are you sure you didn't mean to put that part in quotation marks? Break free and be social again. There'll be plenty of Oh my god, you guys aren't even trying.

[00:07:41]Awesome guys and gals to make everlasting friendships with from all over this incredible country. Awesome. A strictly platonic gay cruise. Make queerness chased again. I say the cabins on our second annual event are first come first served. Ah yes, the two genders. So don't wait. It's going to be one for the record books. By the way, uh nowhere on their homepage do they mention this event being a cruise. They don't even say what the first annual event is or what the second one will be.

[00:08:14]But hey, I get it, Roc. You're not like other gays. You don't just give details like that out for free like the degenerates who fought for your right to hold stupid events like this in the first place. Maybe they'll have more info on their about page. Right of center events blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah located in St. Petersburg, Florida. Of course, it's in goddamn Florida. and caters to the conservative gay and lesbian community.

[00:08:40]Whoever wrote this definitely went to the Donald Trump school of capitalizing random [ __ ] in a sentence. With over 40 years of event planning experience, and with exactly one event on the book so far, ROC Events promises fun, exciting, and memorable vacations and excursions without any worry of awkward conversations or feeling the need to silent speech. Perfect. An event designed to shield you from any and all conversation that might in any way challenge your way of thinking or make you uncomfortable. Can you believe these kids today in their safe spaces? You're traveling with those who think like you and love their country. Get out your red baseball caps, flip-flops, and sunglasses because the time has come for us to celebrate. You realize you can lar as straight people literally anytime you want, right? Our first adventure was a complete success. So, now we're on to our second annual cruise. Why is annual in quotation marks, too? Did Dr. Evil write this? On April 4th, 2027, a six- night cruise on Celebrity Cruis's Silhouette. Prices include Wi-Fi and the drink package will be making vacations great again for all. So before we get into their future schemes, let's start with the inaugural gay and lesbian conservative cruise that debuted in the Beer of Our Lord 2026. So this event was first announced a little over a year ago in March 2025 to mild reception with the page providing half of the comments on their very first post. RC realized they were going to need some celebrity endorsements if they wanted any shot at success. Luckily, they found a glimmer of hope in Brandon Straa, a former hair stylist who looks like that bad date in romcoms where he yells at waiters for not giving him sparkling water. Brandon didn't quite find the success in acting like he had wanted to. So, he did what anybody in his situation would do. You already know where this is going. In 2018, he founded the hashwalkaway campaign, which encouraged liberals to leave the Democratic Party by um uh their their plan was um they would they would get liberals to vote against their own best interests by um well, they got a 10k donation from Alex Jones, so I guess that's worth something. It's about as meaningful as when Randy Quaid leaves dead birds at your doorstep as a gift. It just seems like something he'd do. Anyway, in 2021, Brandon was a speaker at the big old insurrection and told his fellow patriots that quote, "We are sending a message to the Democrats. We are not going away. You've got a problem." Sure, diva. Brandon was also one of the insurrection Barbies who encouraged others to steal the police officer's shields and he was arrested later that month, but was ultimately only given 3 years of probation. How was Brandon supposed to get that attention he ordered with a garden variety misdemeanor charge? This thing was not about to go unnoticed. So he attended the 2022 conservative political action conference in aing cage wearing an orange jumpsuit and firecracker from the boys entered the cage with him to pray.

[00:12:09]I thought these people hated drag shows.

[00:12:11]Anyway, Brandon was officially pardoned in 2025 and now he's here calling all gay and lesbian conservatives and anyone who would like to be trapped with us at sea. Is this a cruise oring Davy Jones's locker? April 4th of next year, 2026, right of center Events is going to host the first conservative gay and lesbian cruise. Five nights out of Fort Lauderdale on the Celebrity Summit. I am going to be there and I hope you will join me in celebrating what will be an incredible five nights on the Sea Cabins. In their first post featuring him, he garnered 29 likes as opposed to their original measly 11 likes. A slight improvement, but not quite where they needed to be. A few lowres AI pictures later, ROC realized they needed to up the Annie on their rhetoric because that's what truly connects with people, right? ROC Events does not support men in women's sports ever. They were so eager to get the word out, they didn't even try to hide the fact that they probably misspelled support the first time around.

[00:13:14]Meanwhile, as they searched high and low for guests who might actually show up in a Google search, the CEO of Wright of Center made a little announcement himself wearing none other than his red defend the border cap. Of course, >> the reason why I came up with this company is because I've been on all the gay and lesbian cruises, and it was really uncomfortable to have to defend yourself with people who didn't think like we think. See, when he was a young man, you could go on a gay cruise and say, "No fats, fems, or Asians," and no one would bat an eye. Crazy times we're living in nowadays. This clipped received a few more comments than posts past, including, "OMG, I'm going to suck so much dick. Close your eyes and imagine being on a cruise ship with hundreds and hundreds of gay and lesbian conservatives, their friends and admirers for five nights on the seas in the Bahamas for a fun vacation. So, after Steve, uh, his name is Steve. After Steve posted a few more videos with that classic boomer selfie angle, ROC was finally able to secure another celebrity name on their roster.

[00:14:31]We've got none other than Ariel Scarcella, a self-described common sense queen and normal lesbian, because remember, not like other gays. Ariel sees trans women as freaks and even men in dresses despite having William's 5:00 shadow. You have no idea how much of a vocal stim that was for me once I learned how to tongue pop. She basically wants to be the lesbian version of Oh my god, what's her name? Gun girl. Blonde gun girl. The one who [ __ ] her pants.

[00:15:03]What's her [ __ ] Caitlyn Bennett?

[00:15:05]Caitlyn Bennett. That's her name. Okay.

[00:15:07]Um, Ariel wants to basically be the next Caitlyn Bennett, but doesn't actually have the means to do so because the community she so desperately wants to be a part of doesn't see her as an equal human being deserving of uh, rights. But she's trying her darnest with her little man on the Street interviews where she disingenuously interviews people that she knows she can get a rage bait reaction out of from all 224k of her botted followers. But don't worry guys, it's not all bad because every now and again she does feature true American heroes.

[00:15:44]>> Do you think we should get KK?

[00:15:45]>> You should get >> I should get all >> Say it again. Get cursed. You should all get cursed.

[00:15:52]>> Someone please show this [ __ ] the Charlie Kirk beatboxer.

[00:15:55]>> Counting or not counting gang violence.

[00:16:00]Counting or not counting gang gang gang gang gang violence.

[00:16:03]>> The comments are full of the tolerant left, ladies and gentlemen. Because this is a false title bestowed upon us from the right without our consent. They're really big on doing things without consent, though. The only people who don't understand the paradox of tolerance are the ones who caused it. So throughout 2025, ROC continued to promote the event on their Instagram page to a very, very humble response.

[00:16:30]More videos from Steve, some posts of generic American flags on white backgrounds, Brandon Straa cosplaying as an American revolutionary, announcements for cabin discounts because I can't imagine why. Still poultry views and likes. What could they possibly be doing wrong? I just felt my shoulder pop. I mean, they even started spicing up their flyers finally. Who wouldn't want to go on the first ever gay conservative cruise aboard the selmly?

[00:17:02]I guess these losers finally noticed that because they then generated a different AI image, but without any text on it. Surely no one will ever know, including the cruise's next special guest, Melissa Vatelli. What frustrates me is that I didn't learn about Melissa Vatelli until after my Trumptastic tattoos video. And lo and behold, she got a big old bright one in one of the most painful spots to get a tattoo. Or so I've heard.

[00:17:33]>> It stop. Anyway, Melissa is yet another MAGA micro influencer who thinks trans people are predators, despite looking like the type to show up with a U-Haul the next morning. She rides Trump's and Israel's dicks harder than I've been writing Leon S. Kennedy's for the past few months. I mean, in my dreams. But if this woman can live in a fantasy world where her senpai notices her, then god damn it, so can I.

[00:17:56]>> I was always a Mets fan, but since they're sucking Manny's balls, I'm going to have to move to the Yankees now. Time to change that bumper sticker on the Super. So, uh, yeah, perfect addition to this [ __ ] show. Surely Melissa can get some asses and seats, right? Are you a conservative experiencing liberal fatigue like we all are? We are embarking on a five night, 6-day journey from Florida to the Bahamas on Celebrity Summit Cruise, and we are all inclusive.

[00:18:23]That means all types of people are invited.

[00:18:26]>> Of course, as long as you all think and act and look exactly the same. [ __ ] pick one.

[00:18:33]>> There will be seminars. There will be conservative things to do.

[00:18:36]>> Conservative things to do. Like what?

[00:18:39]Debate unprepared college students.

[00:18:42]Crash Grinder. Play games of never have I ever that never end. There's also some guy named Todd Mendiola joining. Who's this [ __ ] Why is there never any actual video from inside these capsules as they're coming back from going to the moon?

[00:18:54]>> Oh boy.

[00:18:55]>> Did you know that Ellen Degenerous was mentioned in the Epstein files over 900 times? Yeah, she was.

[00:19:04]>> Do you know your cult leader is in the files 38,000 times and some estimate over a million in the full unredacted version? How about that? Maybe talk about that too, you bootlicking closeted elder twink. This right here, amazing.

[00:19:18]Pete Hexth scraps mandatory flu shots for US service members.

[00:19:23]>> You just know Pete Hegth is his hear me out. Actually, in his case, Pete might be his hold me back. So, now that Roc got the first ever taxiderermy lion on their all-star roster, they had just one more box to check. So, our final special guest, because conservatives always need that useful token to be spent, is conservative influencer Rob Smith. Oh, wait. Sorry. He's influential, not an influencer.

[00:19:53]Sorry, Rob. You must identify with the label you were assigned when you decided to become a right-wing grifter.

[00:20:00]>> There's going to be everything that the gay and lesbian conservative space needs. I know that we love to talk our stuff online, but it is time for us to come together. IRL.

[00:20:14]>> So, to be entirely fair to Rob, so far he's the only one who actually provided a clear who, what, when, where, why of the event. He didn't force any culture war buzzwords into his message. His content also isn't centered around rage baiting or triggering the libs or whatever. and he's a very well-spoken guy, which is why it's extra frustrating that he's just as much of a bootlicking pickme s as the rest of them. And then he complains about the lack of gay spaces in conservatism, as if all of his content isn't centered around not being like other gays or other black people.

[00:20:53]Granted, I can't really comment on the latter myself, but it is something I noticed when looking at his content.

[00:21:00]going to put a pin in this really quick before we move on to the main event.

[00:21:04]I've brought this up in videos before and I know I'm preaching to the choir here, but I will say this. The reason gay conservatives exist or gay transphobes for that matter is because they think that it'll somehow save their skin. Part of that is out of fear. And to a certain degree, that fear is valid.

[00:21:24]But they really think that if they can just prove to their oppressors that they're not like other gays or hop on the culture war bandwagon to ruin the lives of the people who fought for their right to do stupid [ __ ] like this in the first place that somehow they'll find acceptance amongst other Republicans.

[00:21:45]But here's the thing. It doesn't matter if you're the most chased, straight passing, sexless, milktoast Dennis Prager lookalike on the planet. It doesn't matter if you're the most offensively stereotypical lisping queen on the streets of West Hollywood. The people who vote against your civil rights and spend time and energy and taxpayer dollars on smear campaigns against you inherently view you as subhuman. They do not see you as an equal human being deserving of those rights. This is why we have pride in the first place. The whole point is to celebrate being unapologetically yourself in a world that criticizes, condemns, and sometimes criminalizes your very existence. Sigh. Anyway, back to the cringe. So, with this allstar lineup finalized, the months leading up to this cargo shorts convention were spent promoting the hell out of it. sort of more boomer angle videos from Steve influencers training for the mental gymnastics needed to justify this to their audience. And of course, more AI flyers like this one that literally says Pice.ai at the top. I guess they realized leaving the watermark in was tacky. Kind of like when you leave a price tag on a birthday present, so they cropped that part out on the next one. Everyone knows what the logo looks like. Not a big deal that they cropped that out, too. This one is my favorite. Not just because of the polycule going on down here, but that both of these dudes and both of these chicks look exactly the same as the other, just with different hair. But with more and more eyes on the event, it eventually caught the attention of straight people who felt excluded at the idea of exactly one thing not being for them. Now, they did respond by saying that the cruise is open to straight people, and believe it or not, I'm with them on that. I firmly believe in not excluding straight people from queer spaces because it is an incredibly slippery slope to do so. There are plenty of bisexual people in straight relationships. There are straight and by trans people. Maybe there are straight people who are invited to the gay club by their gay friends and they just want to have a good time. As long as they're respectful of the people and culture and understand that they are in someone else's house, that is totally fine. The disconnect here though is that this is a gathering centered around an identity, but an identity by choice. You can't choose your sexual orientation, but you can choose your political affiliation.

[00:24:30]This event isn't being held to celebrate queerness. It's to meet other people that you can make racist jokes with.

[00:24:38]That is what they mean by >> people who didn't think like we think.

[00:24:43]Coffee with Gays got invited to do all the interviews on a conservative gay cruise called Right of Events with a whole bunch of conservative gay.

[00:24:52]>> Do they know that I'm an independent registered independent? Is that allowed?

[00:24:56]>> Yes, it's totally allowed. Actually, you don't even have to be conservative to go on a cruise. Be an independent. Be whatever you want. Just a bunch of like like-minded people.

[00:25:06]>> This guy's face has been killing me this whole time. The big day is finally here.

[00:25:12]The first ever gay and lesbian conservative cruise brought to you by Right of Center Events is about to change the game for gay conservative spaces. Maybe, just maybe, if they can wear more red hats and hold more flags and complain about trans people just a little bit more, they'll get those scraps of acceptance they've been pathetically begging for from their oppressors. My good [ __ ] get ready for the most fully clothed gay cruise in her history. It's giving those dance party tents that the Catholic church near me would put on when I was a kid and my friends and I would go to them and we would pretend that we were at a rave and not just a couple of goth middle schoolers dancing to Low by Flow Rita. Boy, there uh there really aren't a lot of videos of this on ROC's Instagram, are there? Okay, here's one.

[00:26:05]So, this is supposed to be like an extra thing that's on a catamaran. Is this the cruis's DLC?

[00:26:16]>> Slay. I'm down with you all, but next time please use a power catamaran.

[00:26:21]Sailboats are known in the boating world as blowboats and usually have liberals with them. All the non- gas and spending money nonsense blowing things on my gay cruise. spending money in this economy you all voted for. Okay, I finally found a compilation on their page. So, we're going to do a live breakdown to avoid a music copyright. All right, so we got a fisheye lens of the crowd. Here's a Wait. Oh, here's another Wait, why are these clips only like half a second long? I'm here for a recap, not a reflex test. There's this twink who noticed there's a camera but doesn't know how to vogue. Lots of knockoff the car shirts.

[00:27:03]Oh, finally something sparkly. I was about to crash out if I didn't see a sequin anytime soon. There's that same glow stick video with someone's little village people cosplay. Good to see someone finally brought some culture this saltine fest. Here's a slideshow of some shareholder meetings and oh a clock wipe. Oh man, I haven't seen one of these bad boys since the days of Windows Movie Maker. Oh, the memories.

[00:27:31]Oh, there's another clock wipe. I am being fed well today, you guys. More shareholder meetings.

[00:27:38]Some lady who looks like she lobbies against drag queen story time is here.

[00:27:43]Kind of looks like she's filling the role of a drag queen. All right, so these folks seem to be having a pretty fun time, but don't take my word for it.

[00:27:52]Here are some real testimonials from the event. Allegedly. Never thought a cruise could be this fun. Favorite cruise ever.

[00:27:59]Right of center is right on a plus event. And to close out our recap, we've got a few more shots of our lucky plucky travelers and of course a flyer for the second annual gay and lesbian conservative cruise getaway on none other than the celebrity sled. I think it's high time we checked in with our influencers. Don't you agree? Let's start with Rob. Rob, how you doing, buddy?

[00:28:23]>> It's actually a very diverse movement.

[00:28:25]You've got the people that will wear t-shirts that says like Hillary for prison 2016. Um, they'll wear Trump 4547 hats. They'll wear MAGA hats. Like they're super into like the online MAGA thing, but also you have people that are just chill Republican conservatives.

[00:28:41]>> Exactly. Just because they all voted for the same dude doesn't mean they're all crazy, right? Just because they voted for him and support all his policies that actively harm your own community doesn't mean they aren't cool and fun to hang out with. See, this is the kind of diversity that the woke left just doesn't understand.

[00:28:59]>> Gay conservatives blend uh within just basically mainstream straight world, probably better than a lot of the alphabet mafia does, >> right? That's what it means to be a gay conservative, to look and act exactly the same in this diverse free marketplace of ideas, to blend in with normal society. Because the more we do, the more they'll accept us, right?

[00:29:27]>> We've got about a third of this boat.

[00:29:30]So, there are straight men, women, and kids, and all that stuff.

[00:29:35]>> I'm sorry. Um, Mary, did you just say a third of this cruise is straight? A third. One in three people, 33%. Trump's current approval rating on this, the first ever gay and lesbian conservative cruise. A third, again, I don't mind straight people being in queer spaces, but you're making an awfully strong argument for gatekeeping.

[00:30:01]>> People want to have their cocktails, you know, party, have a little bit of fun, but it's not crazy. I There's not puppy masks and, you know, 100 genders.

[00:30:11]>> We get it, Rob. you aren't like other gays because nothing screams living as your authentic self like constantly having to explain what you aren't. Let's check in with Brandon Straa. He's um he's not talking about it at all. Not on his page. Not on the ROC page. Uh nothing. Okay. Uh all right, Todd, you're right. Love this little Stein mart hat moment going on here. And here's one of the fabled straight couples who attended. I see. Yes. Flip that hat, diva.

[00:30:48]>> Get out, touch grass, and do [ __ ] with people that are likeminded.

[00:30:52]>> Anything else you want to add, Todd?

[00:30:54]What's your next video about?

[00:31:00]>> Yeah, that's what I thought. It's time we got some fem energy up in here. Let's check in with the Ariel whose voice I wish was stolen by a drag queen. Lots of still shots of her and Rob and Melissa and this other chick who's apparently another MAGA micro influencer, but she wasn't invited as a special guest. This kid from the Sandlot goes by the political mixer because nothing says gender critical like using non-binary honorifics in your Instagram handle. and her entire identity and personality is about how she's a tomboy but not trans because one is real and the other isn't. If you like dressing in boys clothes and identify as a boy and want to live as a boy and feel trapped in a girl's body because you are a boy, that definitely means that you aren't a boy. Because these women dress as boys but don't identify as boys, which means every single other person ever feels exactly the same way as them.

[00:32:13]Anyway, political Mixster apparently likes to paint the trans flag on her face to prove that she isn't trans. And as a non-binary bottom, I would give anything to trade places with her in this picture. Back to Ariel. Here she is thinking she ate while sitting on a throne of deadwood and sandflies. Here she is with Melissa pointing at the meet and greet flyer while Political Mixster is over here like, "What the hell, man?

[00:32:41]How have you not picked me yet? Here she is with the local AP chapter. And with all the other mousketeers looking like the life of the party at a Santa Clarita hoown. It's an outfit that says, "What do you mean you're kicking me out of Saddle Ranch?" But it's about time we checked in with if Birkenstocks were a person. No, no, no. Those are actually climate conscious and comfortable.

[00:33:01]Whereas Melissa loves destroying the planet with generative AI and makes me extremely uncomfortable.

[00:33:10]Aren't you embarrassed? Again, be who you want to be. Vote for who you want to vote for. But Melissa, honey, sweet, precious baby girl princess, aren't you embarrassed? Why call it the gay conservative cruise? Well, because for us normal gays. There it is again.

[00:33:29]Us normal gays. Because there's nothing abnormal about posting this AI picture of you that looks like how John Fetterman sees himself in the mirror or this AI picture of Trump parting the straight of hormones or all the peptide shilling you do or the fact that you voted for a pedophile racist to be the president three times in a row and you stand by it. All very cool and very normal. Wait, hold the up. Is that a John McNotton painting behind you?

[00:34:02]>> I don't even consider myself conservative.

[00:34:05]>> So then what pretel were you doing on the gay and lesbian conservative cruise?

[00:34:11]Melissa, my favorite part of this was all the straight couples that we met on the boat were openly telling us like, "This is the best cruise we've ever been on. You guys are so cool. You're nothing like what the media says you are." And that's what we want to get away from. We want to just live and let live and be included.

[00:34:32]>> Oh, we could tell you wanted to be included.

[00:34:34]>> There are quite a few women out there who dress like guys, except they're tomboys, not trans. Are you a tomboy?

[00:34:42]>> I am very much a tomboy.

[00:34:43]>> Not butch. Boys. It's also a term that's been proven to be rooted in upper class whiteness, but uh that's another story for another day.

[00:34:52]>> Are you trans?

[00:34:53]>> No, I ain't trans.

[00:34:56]You silly little butch princesses. You couldn't possibly have a different life experience than us. There are also, and you ladies might want to sit down for this one, tomboy straight women.

[00:35:09]Crazy. I know. It's almost as if the way one dresses doesn't necessarily dictate their gender or sexuality because we don't live in the 1500s anymore. And you should, you know, mind your own business. Here's Melissa and her waifu in what should be a really cute picture. It's so sad because on their own, without knowing anything about them, like if you just saw them out and about, they're actually an adorable couple. And for as much as I rip on them, I'm glad they have each other. Then there's this picture, and I'm kind of obsessed with this couple that she's with. So, first of all, we have all seen these two divas. They've been together since the Clinton administration. They're first in the Fastpass line at Disneyland. I call them lanyard gays. Secondly, at first I thought they all took a picture together because they were all wearing Trump glazing Tommy Bahama shirts, but it's actually both their faces on them and they're surrounded by the flag and the eagle. Oh, hey fellow Homelanders. And they say 250 years of freedom and they match. And I can't even be mad at them.

[00:36:18]Slay. And that's mostly it. There really aren't that many more pictures from the event aside from some group photos on Steve Harris's website. There was only one more compilation video I could find, and it wasn't on ROC's page, but a collaborative post between Snap, Crackle, and Pop here. Thankfully, this post broke the containment of their usual audience. So, I've done enough talking. I'm going to let the comments take the wheel for a little bit. I don't know how you managed to make a gay cruise look boring and suffocating, but you did it. This is just the navy. Damn, everybody chopped crew so white I'm wondering if it comes with complimentary white hoods, too. Rooting for the iceberg. This made me want to double down and dye my hair blue. Nightmare blunt rotation. Not a single baddy spotted. Mac in that one episode of Always Sunny. Absolutely no strap game.

[00:37:10]Half of Congress probably on that cruise. I'd rather [ __ ] my hands and clap. Don't even lie. This is a Michael's arts and crafts managers only meet up. Only non-white person in this video was the staff. I'm putting a curse on all of you. So, according to the right of center website, the first ever gay conservative crews boasted quote over 300 amazing common sense men and women from all over the US and Europe.

[00:37:36]Because remember, only white continents allowed and the US is an entire continent. Apparently, RFC currently has two more self-hating cruises on deck, pun fully intended, an 11-day Mediterranean trip this summer, and another Celebrity Select cruise out of Fort Lauderdale next spring. And all I can think of is a recent episode of The Boys, which I watched the night before writing this part of the script, and I won't spoil it in case you haven't seen it, but let's just say it paints a really tragic portrait of a character who knows right from wrong, deep down, and is given every opportunity by everyone to jump ship and do the right thing. But they ultimately doubled down on their blind loyalty. And they meet a very tragic end at the hands of someone they gave up everything for. Their morals, their faith, their allies, their physical and mental health, everything.

[00:38:40]I'm willing to bet years from now when science is actually funded again and we can study the brains of these people, a good portion of these cruise attendees are going to try and say that they were never like this. that they were never maggots. No one will forget they were. I can promise you that. They can try and paint it as, "Oh, we just have different opinions on the economy and we don't want to pay taxes or whatever." But unfortunately, that's not where modern conservatism is today. This isn't just a matter of being like fiscally conservative or whatever your way is of saying, "I want to be gay, married, but poor people." If you're on this cruise, you, a marginalized person who's being directly targeted by the people you elected, took the entire MAGA pill up the wazoo with no lube and no protection. And you bought into every part of it, except the parts that affect you personally. Of course, you didn't go on this cruise to meet other gay conservatives. You went because you've been rightfully shunned from queer spaces. You're never going to be welcomed back to the gay community with open arms. And let's face it, that's all you got. Other conservatives never gave a [ __ ] about you. Trump never gave a [ __ ] about you. You sold out your community to be in a club that you're never getting into. Bunch ofing cowards.

[00:40:01]Anyway, sorry to end what I think was a funny video on such a bummer note. So, uh, let's brighten the mood a bit with some winning comments from the last video. So, this first one I chose just because it's probably one of the cutest comments I've ever received. Leafly7 says, "I found this channel randomly about 72 hours ago. Your voice, your humor, your edits, all scratch niche in my brain that makes me smile. So, the next time you're in a bubble bath, just remember a random great grandma in Tennessee adores you. That makes my heart sore." Saman Trrow 1324 says, "Studio execs are the landlords of the film industry. Over 200 languages in the world, and you decided to speak straight facts. Sublimex 1441 says, "Virgin Ben, listen up you whiny [ __ ] Queen Chad Francis, greetings, my good bitches."

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[00:42:46]Let's go.