Thousands Of Comments On My Solo Cruise | What They Revealed About Racism & Prejudice

[00:00:00]Hey there. So, I'm sitting here at my desk again and working. Actually, responding to comments on various YouTube videos. You know, I posted that video over a month ago about being asked if I was part of the crew and it got thousands of views and lots of comments and now that I'm like at the computer, I can see the comments and go through and respond to them.

[00:00:29]And you know, it's interesting that Okay, first of all, let me stop. If you're just joining me, I'm Brandy. This is my channel, The Runaway Reset. And here I've been talking about recovering from burnout, how I've used travel as a form of healing, and specifically solo travel. Yet, I'm a married woman. And so, it's like an interesting concept. Um I recently just got back from a 6-week solo adventure and it was amazing. I was on a cruise for 33 days and when I initially got on the ship, um I was asked by different people if I was part of the crew.

[00:01:20]So, I made a video just talking about it and I was really surprised.

[00:01:25]And the comment section has been so interesting. You know, people have made comments and said things like I've been asked, you know, um why didn't I try to do a trip that maybe catered to black women, you know, solo travel for black women.

[00:01:49]To which I would respond, because I don't want to travel with just black women. That's not the world we live in.

[00:01:56]I respect and love all people and I'm interested in the entire world, not just seeing it with my people or visiting brown and black countries. That that's just not what I want to do.

[00:02:12]So, that was number one.

[00:02:14]Number two, I've been asked or a comment has been made, "Husbands don't let their women their what their wives travel solo." Yes, they do. And thing to do it. I even had a video that I created, a sit down with my husband, and he shared his feelings about how my solo travel has impacted him. And so, if you are a married woman or a married man and your wife wants to travel solo, I think you should explore it and talk about it because I think it's very beneficial. You are two individuals and you have individual interests. Sometimes schedules don't align. My husband had no interest in being on a ship for more than has no interest of being on a ship for more than 7 days. So, 33 was not happening.

[00:03:05]And he has a job that he has to go into.

[00:03:07]So, you know, even if he wanted to maybe sacrifice and do it for me, he was unable to because of his job and just starting. I also received comments that said, "Well, I would flip the script and and begin to question them." And you know, and these are things like each trip that I take, you know, I learn something new.

[00:03:32]And what has been interesting is that the comments that I have received some from some people who I would suspect are white people have been like kind of, you know, why like they didn't understand being asked what I did, if I was a part of the crew that you know, they didn't understand like the intrusiveness. And you know, we've always been taught it's not what you say, it's how you say it.

[00:04:03]And what's really interesting to me is that I feel as though anytime a person of color brings up the topic of race, we are always looked at as playing the victim. And like, why don't you get over it, you know?

[00:04:19]It's just here you go again. And I don't think that that's the case. You know, this country was built on slavery, so it's a fact. And what it's still happening, you know? And I even when that video took off, I I kind I reached out to my Gen X big sister, Amy Palmer, who is a white woman, okay? And I was like, Amy, this is not about this my channel is not about race. Like, I don't really want to go down this path. I don't [clears throat] want to, you know, I'm talking about burnout, healing, and solo travel. I don't really play the race card.

[00:05:00]But you know what?

[00:05:01]That has shifted because it is what it is. And I'm not playing the race card because I think, you know, oh, woe is me, white people are always doing this and that to me.

[00:05:16]I'm playing it now because I want to educate. And it's not my responsibility to educate necessarily, you know? But right now, I feel compelled to talk about it because, you know, a lot of people, like I said in the comments, have said, you know, I would just ask them, you know, what they've done, or you know, what it is that they do, you know, basically kind of size them up.

[00:05:39]And maybe in the white culture, it is acceptable to be like, hey, what do you do upon initially meeting? But I think it's very different and the what I experienced very different when you are a black person in a predominantly white area. I don't feel like it the questions are asked because they're wanting to get to know you. It's more or less like how do you have a right to be in this space?

[00:06:12]Okay, that's what it comes off as not hey, you know, just having this get to know you because the gentleman who asked me like what I did at dinner and that I felt like it was a backdoor conversation. I would always see him out and about in port. Sometimes he would be with his wife. Sometimes he wouldn't. I remember seeing him in Spain and I had gone to this point of interest and I was coming down the hill and he was like, "Hey, Brandy. How did you get here?" Cuz he was coming off the tour bus. Well, I Ubered. You know, like it I don't know. You know, it some of the questions just come off as very you know, sizing you up. What do you do?

[00:06:57]Because black people, that's not what we how we typically interact with one another.

[00:07:03]It's like, "Hey, how are you? You know, what's going on?" Um and we just kind of you know, they have a casual conversation, but we aren't bringing up employment, things of that nature because we don't care. We're just in this space. But typically, I found with white people, that is a comment and that immediately happens. You know, people have commented that they moved to a new neighborhood and they see their, you know, white neighbor and the neighbor says, "Well, what do you do?" Like, how can you afford to live here? And people [clears throat] have also said, "Well, I would I just look at them and I don't say anything.

[00:07:46]And, you know, I have felt really uncomfortable talking about race and I shouldn't. And so that is something that I am shedding and leaving behind as I, you know, embark on this 50th journey, you know, in my 50s and living a more authentic and unapologetic life. Like, I am not going to be uncomfortable about talking about race anymore. And, you know, I've said, I know how I will potentially handle things, you know, and I will try to say it as, you know, dignified as I can, but if I feel like I'm being questioned as far as trying to size me up, then I'm going to respond with, why do you want to know? Is it because you think I shouldn't be here? Now, that might not be the best way to handle it, but if that is what I'm feeling, more times than not, it's probably true.

[00:08:48]That's what I'm learning is to trust myself and trust the interactions and the things that I am perceiving because I'm 50. I I have to trust myself. I have to know that I am confident in, you know, what it is I have to be confident in what it is that I feel in, you know, being able to go and travel solo. You have to have confidence. You have to trust your intuition. And so, my intuition typically has not failed me.

[00:09:21]I've learned to be a little less emotional and, um, in my response or in my reactions and things, but, you know, no more. Why should we feel uncomfortable about talk you know talking about race and racism because it's still happening. It would be one thing if those burdens were laid down hundreds of years ago, but they haven't and they're still perpetuating and so then you know even one of the videos that I made I talked about how a white lady reached and touched my hair without permission and some white women commented, well you act like she slapped you. Again, shout out to Amy who came into the comment sections and was like it was akin to a slap because your experience is not our experience.

[00:10:20]It's like you know people don't want to talk about race, don't want to understand why we feel the way that we feel, but I'm going to give you a history lesson, you know and something to consider. When we were traded as slaves, we stood on the auction blocks and we were examined like animals and had our you know lips raised so they could check our teeth and looked at our bone structure and our compositions and you know all of that like animals and we're human beings. So right now if you come in and touch anything on my person without permission, it is highly offensive. It is akin to a slap. It is the fact that you have not taken the time to understand our history and what might be triggering to us and then to take it a step further to not even understand when I talk about it and get offended because I'm saying something about it change your ways. If you don't want to talk about it and and you know be put on notice, THEN STOP THE RACISM, POINT-BLANK. I MEAN, it's simple. It is simple. But, that's not the world we live in, but I am choosing to no longer be uncomfortable about talking about race. And if I feel like putting people on notice because I'm feel like you're questioning me and sizing me up, then that's what I'm going to do. Or maybe I might say a prayer and say, "Jesus, bridle my tongue or or, you know, lead me." I don't know. But, I am no longer about to, you know, be uncomfortable. I think that we should all get out and explore the world. I think that you should definitely travel outside of your country, outside of your state, outside of your area, and see and meet other people because all white people aren't racist. All black people aren't victims, you know?

[00:12:31]It we're human beings, and there is so much beauty in the differences, and there's so much similarity. And I think that they should be celebrated, and I think that we can begin to move past it.

[00:12:48]I think that, you know, if you aren't being racist, then if I I if I reply to you, then in a manner that challenges that, then we should be able to have a dialogue, and you you could be like, "Oh, well, I I didn't mean it that way." And I can educate you that, "Hey, well, the black culture, we really don't ask these things off bat, you know? We just kind of talk and, you know, and then again, like I said, it's not what you say, but how you say it, you know?

[00:13:20]When do you say it? There is a bit of etiquette that needs to be had or should be had.

[00:13:28]Um But yeah, that's my that's my take on you know, racism and solo travel. And I am That's it. That's all. Basically, I appreciate you for watching and I'm going to talk to you tomorrow. Take care.