This discussion insightfully exposes how public etiquette is often weaponized to police women’s bodies under the guise of social norms. It serves as a sharp critique of the gender double standards that continue to govern our shared spaces.
Deep Dive
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Deep Dive
Was Her Bathing Suit Inappropriate to Wear?Hinzugefügt:
Today on Tamron Hall, the internet is fired [music] up and we are settling it.
From pools to planes, the everyday moments sparking fullon battles online.
Nick Leighton and Leah Bonava, host of the hit podcast, Were You [music] Raised by Wolves, are with me to referee.
Speaker phone in public, rude or fine.
Plane lands and you jump up or do you wait?
>> You know you're trying to get off that plane.
>> Mom's at the pool. wear what [music] you want or watch what you wear.
>> She kind of yelled across the whole splash pad with everyone there. I'm so glad you feel so comfortable making public [music] spaces uncomfortable.
>> And that person who saves a lounge chair at 700 a.m. Genius are just selfish.
>> Don't hate the play or hate the game.
>> The debates taking over your feed. I'm on the fence about this because decide it today. Hold up your sign. Yes or no?
Tamron Hall starts now.
I am. You give it back to me and we're going to make our dreams come true and live a good life. Good life.
[cheering] How are you?
[cheering] Oh my god.
[cheering] Beautiful. Welcome. Welcome, welcome to [cheering] the show.
>> Can you come on over here? Hello.
>> Oh, welcome. Oh my god. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the show. So, I am so excited [cheering] today.
[applause] Hello, DF. [cheering] All right, I'm joining in now. This is a big one. Thank you for joining. Settle [cheering] in. Settle in. Okay, I'm I'm telling you now or I'm asking you now to sit down because you're gonna be on your feet battling in a minute. All right, I am This show is amazing because this is our another edition of what we call social media debates on the Tamron Hall show.
>> [cheering] >> This [applause] This is where you and you and you and you and you and you you you at home, we're going to take you inside the heated topics everyone's got an opinion about online, people are arguing about in your group chats, and we've brought them to Daytime TV. And we could not do it without our our favorite debate referees Nick Leighton and Leah Bonama, >> host of the hit etiquette podcast, Were You Raised by Wolves, which just celebrated. Congratulations 300th episode. [cheering] >> All right, [applause] so Nick and Leah are here. You are here. I'm ready to just launch in today. We are starting with a hot one. What bathing suits are okay to wear in front of children?
Salt Lake City mom of two, Alyssa Krookton was told to cover up in front of her kids at a splash pad. And now the internet is weighing in on what's appropriate and what's not at public pools and water parks. Alyssa took to social media to share what happened to her. Take a look.
>> I just took my kids to the splash pad.
Okay. I wore a swimsuit and I got there.
I took off my shirt. I'm starting to run around with my kids when a lady comes up to me and she's like, "Excuse me." And I was like, "Yeah, what's up?" And she's like, "Would you mind putting your shirt back on?" I was like, "Yes, I would mind. Um, this is what I was planning on getting wet in." She's like, "Do you think that's appropriate for wearing around the kids?" And I said, "It's a bathing suit, so I think it's perfectly appropriate and perfectly fine." and they start to leave and they're like, "I'm glad that you think it's okay to make public spaces uncomfortable for people."
Excuse me.
>> Okay, [cheering] that is our first hot debate. Alyssa Krookton is here in studio with us right now. Welcome to the TAM fam.
>> Thanks for having me.
[applause and cheering] Okay, I can tell the audience was waiting to chime in because they've not actually seen a photo of what she was wearing to the pool that day. Uh, we have the photo and let's show what you wore that day.
When the mom approached you and said they had an issue with this, what exactly did she articulate? was >> she just came over to me and asked me to put my shirt back on and I was completely caught off guard. Um but I I mean I told her no and I kind of just kept playing with my kids. She >> And your kids were right there.
>> Yes, they were right there like in a hostile manner.
>> It I No, I would say no. She just kind of came up to me. I thought she was coming to ask me a question or like >> cute kids. Yeah, something like that.
And I my son was two at the time. I had a 10-month old daughter >> and or I have she was 10 months at the time. And I think I was just very caught off guard cuz I I don't know. It felt made me feel really uncomfortable because then even my son was like, "Well, what she what she >> So your son asked about >> Yes. Well, >> how did you explain it?" He specifically asked me about um when she left the splash pad, she kind of yelled across the whole splash pad with everyone there and was like said something along the lines of you um I'm so glad you feel so comfortable making public spaces uncomfortable for other people. And my son asked me about that. He asked me why she >> how did that make you feel?
>> Um it made me feel really shamed I think. Um, I mean, I have lived in Utah my whole life. I grew up in a very conservative culture and it took me a lot of time to um, kind of decide what was most comfortable for me to wear and um, what my opinions on modesty are.
>> What made you decide to share that moment?
>> Um, I think it was just there was a couple things. frustration because I my son [clears throat] was asking me, he was like, "Why is she yelling at you?"
And I was like, "Oh, it's not that big of a deal." But then when I got home and I was thinking about it more, I was like, "Wait, is this inappropriate?" I'm a new mom. I My son was two and a half.
I >> would say things to me and then I get mattered like four hours later.
>> Yes.
>> Wait a second to me. Okay. But you feel that there might be a double standard because a guy could be at the park and have their shirt off and no one says a word, >> right? If it was my husband and he had taken both my kids to the splash pad by himself >> and he took his shirt off and was playing with the kids, he would not only be ignored, he'd be applauded. He would be told, "You're such an amazing dad.
You are so attentive. You're playing with your kids.
>> You're owning your dad bod." Not I've never seen your husband's bod, but I'm just I mean Okay, let me get Nick on this. Nick, what's your take is a double standard here.
>> Oh, absolutely. And talk about the thing that's inappropriate here is going up to a perfect stranger and shaming them. And if we talk about think of the children.
Yeah. Think of the children who just saw that example that you set for them.
>> Well, that's what I think how we want to live >> because your son Evander was there and he noticed it and it's like you're chastising me about my swimwear, but you're over here behaving and yelling across the swim area with kids. That makes no sense. I'm gonna get Leah and Leah. What what do you think about this swim attire public places where kids are present?
>> I get so upset when somebody hurt somebody else's feelings. It's horrible that someone come up to you. I think it's so And we're always policing women's bodies. We're never policing men's bodies. [applause] I Tamron, I've seen some men with uh sandals out there that need to be policed. I [laughter] >> I've seen some toenails that could climb up walls. You know what I mean? Why are we >> Well, that's the thing because I mean, you have the popular podcast that delves into etiquette. For me, this this I they lost me a long time ago complaining about the swimsuit you had on because let me put this picture up again.
There's nothing wrong >> with what you had on. So, when that person walked away, um did you I guess did you go back in and try to change or did you stand your ground what you were wearing?
>> No, I mean I she left. She packed up her stuff, went with her friends, took her kids. She had some >> boys her boys with her, and I um >> What does she have on?
>> Well, [laughter] that's jeans and a t-shirt.
>> Wait, >> so she had jeans and a t-shirt on at the swimming pool.
>> Yeah.
>> Who wears jeans in the pool?
>> Well, it was a splash pad and so most of the parents kind of sit on the outside and just watch their kids play.
>> Okay. But for me, I'm like I I love getting in and being right there in the action.
>> Yes.
>> Coming up the other side of this debate, the mom who says there is a time and a place for every kind of swimsuit. We're getting on the other side of the debate after the break. We'll be right back.
[applause]
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