Piers Morgan, Percy Pigs and Gladiators

Added: 2026-05-17

[00:00:00]Oh, hello there. It's time for another trip on this little roller coaster that we call the wolf and the owl.

[00:00:09]>> The wolf and owl.

[00:00:10]>> I got a little >> Wow.

[00:00:13]>> espresso.

[00:00:13]>> Is that the the mug you brought in yourself or?

[00:00:15]>> No, he's sitting opposite me.

[00:00:19]>> No, I asked for an espresso and they gave me this. It's a little egg cup.

[00:00:22]>> It's I like those sorts of I like the How do you feel about cuts without handles?

[00:00:26]>> Uh, I like it. I I sort of feel like I'm really engaged with the drink.

[00:00:30]>> Yeah.

[00:00:31]>> You know, it you know, like when people make take ages to make a cup of tea, like a special tea, and then sit there.

[00:00:36]That's what I feel like with this.

[00:00:38]>> Yeah. You You look very Because also color coded to your whole outfit.

[00:00:41]>> Yeah.

[00:00:41]>> The green. I love the idea that the studio here have just got whatever colors you're wearing. They've got a >> They have got 27 of these.

[00:00:48]>> Yeah. You wear a lot of green.

[00:00:50]>> There's a brown one in case you're Yo yo yo. What you want? Beak or jaws?

[00:01:00]Fathers or fur? Sharp teeth or feet with claws? Whatever's preferred. Just kidding. Every word in this song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog.

[00:01:09]>> You're wearing a lot of green these days. Like Robin Hood kind of vibe.

[00:01:12]>> You're wearing a lot of blue these days.

[00:01:14]>> Today I'm wearing blue. Yeah. I >> I'm a big fan of that Adam Buckton hat you've got on.

[00:01:19]>> Adam Buck. How dare you? I mean I love Adam Buckton. This is an Ian Wright hat.

[00:01:24]Ian Wright is my style icon.

[00:01:25]>> You can't you can't decide what people say your hat reminds them of. Okay.

[00:01:30]>> Yeah. But you know what's really sad is this is this is like in Ian actually Ian Wright's design of a hat.

[00:01:35]>> Right. Okay.

[00:01:35]>> Also Ian Wright is Ian Wright for me is the person who wore it. I was like wow that's the guy I'm going to follow.

[00:01:41]>> Okay.

[00:01:41]>> Do you Who's your star?

[00:01:42]>> I didn't know you didn't like Adam Buckton.

[00:01:43]>> I love Adam Buckton. I'm just saying Adam Bucks is a lot of things. One of my favorite comedians. Adam and Joe show.

[00:01:49]Hilarious. Great. You know one of the founding figures of British podcasting.

[00:01:53]Yeah, >> a hilarious guy. Never mind.

[00:01:54]>> A genius.

[00:01:56]>> Uh, I think we throw away around the word genius.

[00:01:58]>> Well, you say about anyone that emails.

[00:02:00]>> So, >> yeah, but I think we've had some genial emails in.

[00:02:04]>> Genial is not the word you're looking for.

[00:02:08]>> Yeah, but I I I I think we've got to be we've got to be careful.

[00:02:10]>> We've got to be careful. Adam Buckton, not a genius. You don't like his style?

[00:02:13]>> No, I think I love his style.

[00:02:14]>> Well, I'm just summarizing what I've said so far.

[00:02:16]>> I I I like Adam Buckton. I think he's hilarious. I think he's very funny. You say Anon Buckton.

[00:02:22]>> By the way, I think he'd have got further with a name that Anon Buckton.

[00:02:26]Anon Buckton is a guy that I' I'd travel to.

[00:02:29]>> I thought it was like if Deck had been replaced by a guy called Buckton.

[00:02:33]>> Buckton.

[00:02:35]>> I love that idea. It's so sad that Deck is leaving. But >> but got good news.

[00:02:40]>> Buckston Harris is coming in.

[00:02:43]>> It's Buckton.

[00:02:45]>> But he's not a Jordy.

[00:02:46]>> No.

[00:02:47]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:02:48]>> Yeah. He's just got >> Jamaican.

[00:02:51]>> How would he sound?

[00:02:52]>> Huh? I don't >> But the Bucks.

[00:02:56]>> Yeah. Yeah. I mean, by the way, I know >> I will say I know Ian Wright's style like on >> I adore Ian Wright style.

[00:03:02]>> I think Ian Wright has got it right. I mean, yeah, actually that's >> No, don't just move on because you're about to get excited about the fact you use the word right.

[00:03:12]>> Um, yeah, but yeah, he I >> He would wear this outfit, wouldn't he?

[00:03:17]I'm not even lying. I watch what Iright wears on the overlap >> and what he wears dayto-day >> and I'm like that's that's a look.

[00:03:23]>> Yeah.

[00:03:23]>> You you you're busting street wear, but it's still it still represents well of a person of our age.

[00:03:28]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:03:29]>> Yeah. I like it. Yeah. Who would you say your style look like?

[00:03:32]>> I don't have one.

[00:03:33]>> Wow. Wow.

[00:03:35]>> What I mean is I should have one.

[00:03:37]>> No, I don't think you do.

[00:03:38]>> No, but it's good to it's good to >> sort of try and emulate something, isn't it? No, it's not good to, but what I mean is it's good to have influences, I guess. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:03:47]>> I read that book, Steel Like an Artist.

[00:03:49]Have you read that book?

[00:03:50]>> No. No. I always You always ask me this and the questions the answer is always the same. Sorry. Have you read this book?

[00:03:56]>> Let me say something more relatable. I checked out this On Fans account.

[00:04:00]>> Have you seen >> Yeah, she's married to the Gladiator now.

[00:04:05]>> Oh my goodness.

[00:04:07]>> Yeah.

[00:04:07]>> Let's talk about that.

[00:04:08]>> I I feel quite Yeah, cuz I met this guy at the Raw Variety.

[00:04:12]>> Yeah. Um, it seems insane that he's been let go. So, the reason he's been let go from the Gladiator is that Gladiator.

[00:04:20]>> Well, what I'd love to do is for us to talk at length about this without all the facts. So, let's do it. So, >> why would we change the fact that we've been doing that on this podcast for >> My understanding is I think this cup is making me talk differently.

[00:04:32]>> I like it.

[00:04:33]>> I feel like I'm being more considered and sort of >> Yeah, you are. I feel like I'm on the [ __ ] South Bank show topical, >> but you know, like >> you got is it Melvin Brag?

[00:04:43]>> Yeah.

[00:04:44]>> Yeah.

[00:04:44]>> So, um, listen, >> brag would have been another >> gladiators. So, my understanding Yeah.

[00:04:52]>> is that >> so you know he's married, right?

[00:04:55]>> Yeah, I know that. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:04:56]>> So, he was married, >> split up.

[00:04:59]>> Yeah.

[00:05:00]>> Got with this girl whose name I don't know.

[00:05:03]Um, and then she's on Only Fans, but they hadn't gone public with their relationship for whatever reason. And then he said to the B I don't When they say he spoke to the BBC. You've worked on BBC. You don't speak to the You don't No. Can Sorry. Before I go on, could I have a quick chat with the BBC, please?

[00:05:22]Is it okay to have a chat with the BBC?

[00:05:23]>> The idea of you calling John Petri to say that you're going out with the Lonely Fans model. It's fine.

[00:05:28]>> He spoke to the uh production company.

[00:05:30]>> Yeah. And they I don't think they let him go. They've not renewed his contract.

[00:05:35]>> Yeah.

[00:05:35]>> So that's not >> So hold on.

[00:05:36]>> So I don't think he's got any legal grounds.

[00:05:39]>> Yeah.

[00:05:39]>> Because you're not being fired. You've not just >> But he was like I mean I don't really I've not I've watched a bit of the Gladiators, the rerun, the new one, and quite enjoy it.

[00:05:48]>> Reboot.

[00:05:49]>> Um >> the new new Earth.

[00:05:50]>> Yes. Um >> Endgame.

[00:05:52]>> Yeah. But he's one of their big faces, right? He's he was a >> I don't know. I don't know how they analyze which ones are popular and which ones aren't. I don't know. economy. I mean, cuz I think if he was popular, they're not getting rid of him on a basis. He's >> Well, well, he's sort of gone on all the They've gone on all the chat shows now, haven't they? So, >> okay. What's your problem?

[00:06:09]>> I just find like that is like like I I look divorce and splitting up with someone's pretty hard, right?

[00:06:16]>> As we both know, currently currently we haven't gone public about this, but we're both currently in the >> living together.

[00:06:24]>> Yeah.

[00:06:25]>> You know that. Yeah. Yeah, we should actually that a lot of people sort of been mentioning this clip.

[00:06:29]>> Yeah, that's >> we about wanting to kiss each other.

[00:06:31]>> Yeah, we didn't talk about wanting to kiss kiss each other.

[00:06:34]>> Oh, no, we didn't. Why have I said Oh my god.

[00:06:35]>> Wow. You >> No. Do you know what? Can I tell you why I said that? Cuz you said you you said you really wanted to kiss a boy and then correct yourself man.

[00:06:42]>> You based fancied a guy on a train.

[00:06:44]>> A more ripped version of me.

[00:06:46]>> Well, not I mean you're pretty ripped.

[00:06:48]>> Um >> anyway, then it seemed obvious to me that if we wanted to kiss a guy, we should just kiss each other.

[00:06:53]>> Yeah. And now it's I've brought it up again.

[00:06:56]>> Yeah, but >> that would be the viral clip of me and you just French kissing.

[00:07:00]>> The point is I think probably if you splut with Cat and I splut with Lisa, we'd probably end up together, I imagine. Yeah, it's the most likely outcome.

[00:07:08]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Certainly I think we'd start living together and then sort of slowly sort of feelings would grow.

[00:07:13]>> Yeah.

[00:07:13]>> Yeah. You'd start off as friends.

[00:07:14]>> Yeah.

[00:07:15]>> And then you just And then one night >> it's a big thunderstorm.

[00:07:18]>> Yeah. One night it's Yeah. We're getting co we're cozying in.

[00:07:20]>> Yeah.

[00:07:21]>> And then we go, Should we >> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:07:24]>> You're scared of the thunder.

[00:07:26]>> And then we're all cuddled up together.

[00:07:27]Then I sort of lean across and maybe kiss. I'm like nuzzle. I imagine I'm nuzzled up against you.

[00:07:31]>> I'm smelling your hair.

[00:07:32]>> Yeah. And then I sort of kiss you on the cheek and go >> and I'll go, "What are you doing? Why so formal?"

[00:07:41]>> So anyway, we're talking about giants.

[00:07:42]Yeah. So >> speaking of men, we'd like to nuzzle up to >> He wouldn't be my type. Anyway, I I think I think I think it's a bit harsh on the um what's great as well, we've got John, who's a big gladiator fan.

[00:07:53]>> The [ __ ] hell is going on here. He's obviously very angry that we're talking about Giant. He's wandering across the back of the room. He's throwing [ __ ] lens caps all over the >> We've talked about some stuff on here that can be deemed as slightly controversial.

[00:08:03]>> But this is Who knew that this would be the thing that would finally get to John?

[00:08:07]>> He's obviously such a big gladiator fan.

[00:08:09]>> He's booted the table.

[00:08:10]>> [ __ ] keep your views to yourself.

[00:08:12]>> His texts are going off. So, he's obviously on his inside. It was like this when we were talking about the hotel >> practice on this incel gladiator group going off I got to say saying this pair of pricks are landing a giant now >> guys can we can we get on this early doors get on the socials let's try and preempt >> I'll try and cut it out um what I found I just found it a bit like she's clearly upset the the ex-wife by and I think there's an element to me of being like like you know quite why he's felt the need with his new girlfriend and look by the way I I should be quite transparent Me and Giant chat I met I've met him a couple of times. I think he's a nice chap. I've always got an idea.

[00:08:48]>> It's good to declare your business interest >> before we start getting >> We were trying actually weirdly to get him as a manual athlete which is synonymous with man success story that we've now sponsored a gladiator who's not a gladiator he's just a big chap who's going out with fans model. Um so evidently by the looks of things we're probably getting into the porn business.

[00:09:06]Um but um >> I'd love to see I would love to see a [ __ ] bikaki scene where just before they start they hydrate with water.

[00:09:18]>> Oh god, I feel quite laded. What you need is some electrolytes.

[00:09:24]>> I can go again. Um yeah, but so I I I slightly feel I don't know quite what the reason is that they they felt the need.

[00:09:31]>> Well, I think it's fairly obvious, isn't it? It's like they uh the relationship didn't feel official yet.

[00:09:36]>> Yeah. And also I think sometimes when you think something's going to be a problem it makes you lean it makes you lean further into it. So so he might have had a conversation going well whatever you do don't go I would keep that to yourself if I was you because and then he's gone well [ __ ] you. He's had a chat with his other half. She's gone it's made her feel a I'm hypothesizing made her feel a certain way because she's doing a legitimate job and then they've decided to like double down.

[00:10:05]>> Yeah. They wouldn't surprise us.

[00:10:06]>> Also, I don't cuz I don't see that I think that the truth is like you've got a divorce, you're moving on. I don't think there's a problem with that. I don't even think to be fair there should be a problem with the fact he's seen an only fans model. I don't think that that's I I don't see why that's a problem. I >> No, but okay. Can I just play a devil's advocate here?

[00:10:23]>> That's That's why we're here, baby.

[00:10:24]>> So, >> can't be a oneway street, B.

[00:10:27]>> No, you can't have the wolf without the We can actually. He's on tour right now and it's a great show. Anyway, um if Gladiators is a family show.

[00:10:36]>> Yeah.

[00:10:37]>> Okay.

[00:10:37]>> Yeah.

[00:10:38]>> And then a kid is watching Gladiators and says, "I love Giant."

[00:10:44]>> Right.

[00:10:44]>> Yeah.

[00:10:45]>> Goes on to Instagram.

[00:10:46]>> Yeah.

[00:10:47]>> Has a look at Giant's account and says, "Oh, who's that with Giant?" Oh, that's his girlfriend.

[00:10:51]>> Clicks on that. Then all of a sudden, she's playing the piano in her undies, I imagine. I haven't checked her account out, but >> Oh, yeah. That's that is her signature move.

[00:11:00]Um Yeah. Can I just then double down on this?

[00:11:03]>> I'd love you to.

[00:11:04]>> So firstly, >> so I play Devil's Advocate. Now you're doubling down.

[00:11:07]>> Oh, no. I'm playing the Angel's Wings.

[00:11:10]>> So, uh, so so to speak, right? Number one, if he's still with Gladiators.

[00:11:14]>> Where did What's So to Speak got to do it.

[00:11:16]>> I don't know. I think it I just think it sounded good.

[00:11:19]>> So to speak, it genuinely sound like you're about to start talking about a rapper or something called So to Speak.

[00:11:26]>> Why did you say So to Speak?

[00:11:27]>> I don't know. I've got no idea. God, >> I have no idea where any of this stuff come from.

[00:11:30]>> But I think that >> that's why you're such a genius.

[00:11:32]>> I think firstly I think >> there firstly work.

[00:11:35]>> Yeah. I think the giant if you look at his thing never ever really posted about his family anyway.

[00:11:40]>> Yeah.

[00:11:40]>> In his I didn't know he was married.

[00:11:42]>> So yeah, exactly. Cuz he posted about being giant the in gladiators. So I don't think he'd have shared any of his personal details about his new girlfriend unless that would have become a thing that he's then going to constantly fuel through, you know, Instagram. If he if he's if he's gone, look, I'm going out with Only Fans woman. This is a very serious relationship for me, but I'm not going to be posting about it's not something it's going to be public knowledge or I'm not going to make it overly, you know, it's not going to be I'm not going to be in her videos. I'm not, >> you know, going to be posting all the time about it. I'm still going to keep, you know, this is Look at wrestlers WWF, WWE for years.

[00:12:15]>> They were like some of the [ __ ] that Have you Yeah. I mean, have you watched the Hulk Hogan documentary?

[00:12:20]>> Not yet. No. Whoosh.

[00:12:22]>> Whoosh.

[00:12:23]>> That's a That's a ride.

[00:12:25]>> Um I think you're right. Actually, that's a point he made. If I can play um Angel's Wings.

[00:12:31]>> Yeah.

[00:12:31]>> For a second.

[00:12:32]>> Yeah. Throw your cards.

[00:12:33]>> He said Giant is a character. It's not him. His name's Jamie, isn't it?

[00:12:37]>> Yeah. I don't know how to call him Giant, but Yeah. Okay.

[00:12:39]>> Which is You said you speak to him.

[00:12:41]>> Yeah.

[00:12:42]>> So, if you if you're down the pub with him, >> I thought going to the pub with him, but we chat online. Yeah.

[00:12:47]>> Yeah. And then what do you say? Hey, Giant.

[00:12:49]>> Yeah. Okay.

[00:12:50]>> I don't know his real name. He didn't introduce himself.

[00:12:52]>> All right. I would just not I would not say anything.

[00:12:54]>> Yeah. But >> anyway, his name is Jamie, I believe.

[00:12:56]>> Yeah.

[00:12:57]>> Um, he's saying that there's Jamie and then there's Giant. Giant is not going out with an only fans model.

[00:13:03]>> No, >> Giant is probably asexual.

[00:13:04]>> Asexual. Yeah. I think what they need to do is introduce a mythology to gladiators.

[00:13:10]>> Well, like a giant is in a field somewhere just [ __ ] >> like a cow eating grass.

[00:13:15]>> No, eating gazelle.

[00:13:16]>> Yeah. just like like a [ __ ] prowling the savannah or whatever >> just killing animals and eating them and then suddenly >> there's a fog horn in the distance and it's a call to come to gladiators.

[00:13:27]>> Yeah, I mean >> that would be sick enough for vegans.

[00:13:31]>> No, but he's in the he's in the wild.

[00:13:33]>> I just think he should and also >> or he comes down a beantoalk.

[00:13:36]>> He's just living under a like a bridge patrol.

[00:13:39]>> Yeah, that's picking his tone out.

[00:13:41]>> Suitably dehumanizing. Yeah.

[00:13:43]>> No, but >> what are the others called? Sabre.

[00:13:46]>> Yeah. Saber, isn't there?

[00:13:47]>> Yeah. Are >> those the only two I know?

[00:13:49]>> Yeah. I don't This is the thing. I've not got to I think >> I can tell you the all the old school ones.

[00:13:54]>> Yeah.

[00:13:54]>> But some of them were flawed human beings.

[00:13:56]>> I um I filmed with Jet once.

[00:14:01]>> Wow.

[00:14:01]>> You remember Jet?

[00:14:02]>> Yeah.

[00:14:03]>> Jet was the one that everyone fancied, right?

[00:14:05]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:14:06]>> So, >> weird. I used to was I was into lightning.

[00:14:09]>> Okay. Well, it's not weird.

[00:14:10]>> No, I just Everyone was into jet.

[00:14:12]>> What's weird is that you've taken a compliment and sort of made it into an insult. over.

[00:14:16]>> So, Light Lightning, if Lightning is a massive Wolf and Al fan.

[00:14:19]>> No, but I was like Lightning >> just listening to this. Oh, I got a mention there. Weirdly, I I was into Lightning. Oh, cool.

[00:14:25]>> No, but everyone was so obsessed with Jet.

[00:14:27]>> Yeah, they were.

[00:14:28]>> Yeah, >> very obsessed with Jet.

[00:14:29]>> And I remember at the time it was very sort of like uh controversial if you didn't fancy Jet.

[00:14:34]>> I don't think it was controversial if you didn't fancy jet.

[00:14:36]>> No, but I remember saying I fancy lightning.

[00:14:38]>> How much controversy was there at your school?

[00:14:46]There go there goes that tall boy who fancies lightning.

[00:14:48]>> There goes a [ __ ] edge lord right now.

[00:14:50]>> Although you know what edgelord Theo's telling me I can't say edge lord anymore.

[00:14:54]>> Why?

[00:14:55]>> So what do you think edge lord means?

[00:14:56]>> Well, it's your edgy, right? That's not what it means anymore. It means you're into edging.

[00:15:01]>> What's edging? What the gardening term edging? No. Okay.

[00:15:04]>> Edging is uh Can we look this up to double check? I'm pretty sure it's taking itself up to the brink of climax without actually >> How does Who >> John's nodding?

[00:15:14]>> Who told you this?

[00:15:15]>> Pardon?

[00:15:16]>> Who told you this?

[00:15:16]>> Theo told me.

[00:15:17]>> Theo?

[00:15:18]>> Yeah.

[00:15:19]>> [ __ ] How does I mean this is this is when we're old now. We're officially old. I didn't know that that Did you know that was what edging was? Listen, if you think I've ever taken myself to the brink >> without crossing the line, >> I know your self control.

[00:15:39]I've seen you on the tube and to run up the escalators to finish yourself off.

[00:15:45]>> Um, >> wow. So, that's the thing now. That's what an edge lord and also imagine calling yourself the edge lord.

[00:15:50]>> Yeah. But, um, anyway, >> wow.

[00:15:54]And what we've really [ __ ] gone around the houses is how we ended up talking about edging.

[00:15:58]>> Yeah, but I didn't even know that was a thing.

[00:15:59]>> Yeah. Yeah, it is a thing. Like he just said to me, "Don't say edge lord anymore."

[00:16:03]>> Wow.

[00:16:04]>> We didn't say he's not instructional. He just said to me, "I'm just letting you know. Be wary.

[00:16:08]>> You think Edgeelord means this, but you if you say it, >> yeah, be careful, Dad. You're playing with Yeah. You don't >> It's basically It's like telling some this [ __ ] idiot in his house."

[00:16:18]>> Well, no. It's like how we used to say to our you know, like our grandparents when they used to use the word gay.

[00:16:22]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:16:23]>> And that changed, right?

[00:16:24]>> Yeah.

[00:16:24]>> You know, it's sort of all of a sudden we're those we're the old >> No, cuz I remember you stopped using it.

[00:16:28]What? 2019, 2020, didn't you?

[00:16:30]>> What? Gay.

[00:16:31]>> Gay is an insult. It's >> an insult.

[00:16:39]>> By the way, I' I've my my gay following has gone crazy since >> Yeah. Look, I don't think we should go into detail. No. But can you give us We were talking about this before we started. So, >> I think >> Yeah. I think you're an attractive man.

[00:16:53]Full stop. But I think >> Yeah, >> if you were gay, I think you would mop up.

[00:16:59]>> Yeah, I think I think evidently that would be my somebody did have to >> I've never ever had and and quite happily so, you know, my uh very much like the giant from Gladiators, my sort of my world has almost been, you know, lovely comments, nice pe all of a sudden since the clips come out of me and you talking about kissing, I've had a lot of offers >> about kissing each other.

[00:17:17]>> Yeah. Kissing. Yeah. Just kissing a guy.

[00:17:20]I've had a lot of people have said, "I'm happy to be happy to have that kiss."

[00:17:23]And some of them have, if I'm going to be quite honest with you, some of them have gone well beyond that as as I've shown you.

[00:17:30]>> I mean, look, we're not going to name names, but somebody suggested, you know, wanking you off.

[00:17:35]>> Yeah, I've had that. I've also had someone if someone messaged me saying if if I want a sort of very discreet place to um have a conversation and sort of like >> when they say conversation, [ __ ] Right.

[00:17:47]>> Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Like I mean if you I know you're not going to do it.

[00:17:52]>> No, no, I won't again. That's quite weird.

[00:17:55]>> But if you did do it, it just I always what I find fascinating about that sort of scenario is getting into it.

[00:18:02]>> Yeah.

[00:18:03]>> So you go meet this guy at a pub or I guess you'd meet at his flat, wouldn't you want to be seen publicly?

[00:18:07]>> Well, I would go straight to his flat. I mean, a thirsty gentleman, but I don't think I' I'd go.

[00:18:13]>> Okay. Let's think about Let's Let's imagine I just want to imagine for a second that you decide to do this, right?

[00:18:19]This would have to be a situation where you know like if I was single hypothetically right and this came up I I would go >> okay Jesus Christ look we're not I'm not saying you're about to cheat on would you [ __ ] just calm down >> no but I'm just saying to you that if if this this this h happened my first port call wouldn't be going to someone's flat I think I' I' I'd think a little bit I'd want to meet them and have a like we're not talking about you splut up with cat and then you decide that you're going to go out with a guy. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about I'm talking about hypothesizing that right now in this moment you think to yourself, do you know what?

[00:18:56]>> I am going to do a bit of experimenting.

[00:18:58]And let's imagine for the sake of your conscience, >> you talk to cat about it and Cat goes, do you know what?

[00:19:03]>> Go for it.

[00:19:03]>> Go for it.

[00:19:04]>> Yeah.

[00:19:04]>> Yeah. I think it's good for you.

[00:19:06]>> I've always thought Yeah.

[00:19:07]>> Yeah. I think it'd be a good thing.

[00:19:08]>> I've told you for ages to have a hobby.

[00:19:10]>> Yeah. This would be it' be it'd be great for somebody else to take this on.

[00:19:14]>> Can you take on some of your neurosis?

[00:19:16]some of the [ __ ] anxiety.

[00:19:17]>> So, you you messaged the guy.

[00:19:20]>> Yeah.

[00:19:20]>> What would the message say?

[00:19:21]>> I'd probably be like, "Hey, hey, hey, Fred. Um, thanks for reaching out. Um, I've thought about your offer. Uh, would you like to meet sort of a coffee or a drink? Um, and sort of see how we get on."

[00:19:33]>> Okay.

[00:19:33]>> I wouldn't go. Let's go to your flat.

[00:19:35]>> Yeah. But what are you trying to get out of this in this hypothesis?

[00:19:38]>> Yeah, but even if even if I'm looking >> You just you're just >> even if hypothetically I'm looking for that kiss, right? I'm having it like thinking, oh, you know, let's have a little bit of a rough and tumble, right?

[00:19:50]>> I'm not I'm not going to I'm not going to go straight to their flat.

[00:19:53]>> No, >> cuz I I just think I I I don't know. I think a little bit more of myself than just I'd like to get to know the person.

[00:20:00]>> Why do you want to get to Sorry, I I >> So, what would you just [ __ ] it up?

[00:20:04]>> Would you just turn around?

[00:20:05]>> I think if you if I was like if if I By the way, to be crystal clear, I've had no messages like that.

[00:20:15]Let's just get that out there. So, even if I wanted to, the opportunity is not there.

[00:20:19]>> No, but I think we could probably get you along for the ride. He probably if if I went if I if I imagine being a guy that's like a guy that's been into into you and you're thinking, "Fucking hell, finally there's a signal here that I could actually This is This is so mad.

[00:20:36]It's like I never thought in a million years that a married I this married man that I've had a thing for potentially something could happen and then you get you you get a message from him the object of your affections he goes hey friend I've taken you up on your offer and then I turn up as well mate room for a tidler I don't have to get involved I just want you to watch see what the logistics are just in for a penny for a pound.

[00:21:06]>> Just interesting to see how it might be done. I'll be very quiet. You might hear some shallow breathing at some stages.

[00:21:15]>> Oh my idea of having like your first homosexual experience and sort of quite getting into it then calling.

[00:21:23]>> Don't worry, I won't make a mess. I'm a bit of an edge lord.

[00:21:31]>> So, you meet up with a guy, but but okay. So in answer your question, if it was me, >> yeah, >> I would see this as just a hit and run.

[00:21:40]>> But you So you just go for the hit and run?

[00:21:42]>> I think so. I mean, the part of the problem is >> like you're looking at it more like a prostitute. Like it's a transitional >> like a prostitute. [ __ ] hell, Tom.

[00:21:51]When would I say I see it like a prostitute?

[00:21:53]>> No, it's more transitional. No, >> it's not transitional either.

[00:21:57]Transitional is the word you're looking for.

[00:22:04]Well, it's a transition from one. Yeah.

[00:22:06]>> Yeah. From what?

[00:22:06]>> From one side to the other. Yeah.

[00:22:08]>> Yeah. I mean that Okay, that's true.

[00:22:09]When you leave the room, you're transitioning to the door. Are you?

[00:22:11]>> Yeah.

[00:22:13]>> Anyway, the point is >> you just want to go in.

[00:22:15]>> No, but I think that's what that's what the other per I mean, if the other person wants to meet up for I'm not going to go. No, I just >> But this is this is probably I I probably need a little bit of romance and a little bit of a a feeling, a bond.

[00:22:26]>> I need to know that there's something that's quite sweet. That's very sweet. I I I don't think I could just be like, let's just let's just go for like I'd feel so on edge just knocking.

[00:22:34]>> Are you not nervous that if you're happily married?

[00:22:36]>> Yeah.

[00:22:37]>> And then if you get to know this person then suddenly you might be opening you know you're you're I'd actually say you're rolling the dice more than if you just had >> Yeah. Yeah. But then I just don't think me turning up >> sort of randomly at the door like a sort of like >> I don't think you don't I won't warm myself up before he's answered the door.

[00:22:53]>> Just turning up and going right let's get down to it then. Well, you're not gonna you're gonna have a [ __ ] You're not just wander in and start kissing him straight away. Like I think, by the way, you're giving yourself a lot of credit there if you even think you've got that in the locker.

[00:23:03]>> No, I don't think I imagine it would be more like sort of sitting down and going, "Well, >> no." Yeah, but I think the other person is going to then >> have to take they tried and practiced.

[00:23:12]Yeah.

[00:23:12]>> Yeah.

[00:23:13]>> And then I think I'm I'm like it's like playing football or anything. I feel I'm out of my depth. Don't pass me the ball.

[00:23:18]>> Yeah.

[00:23:19]>> Like I'm like, "Oh shit." Like you know what I mean?

[00:23:21]>> I mean, you're worried about if the same thing happens when you first played football. You come too soon.

[00:23:27]But I I so so then you ease into it.

[00:23:29]>> Yeah.

[00:23:30]>> I don't know about the getting to know the person. Not not not getting to know I'm not saying be completely silent, but I'm saying meeting them at a pub first.

[00:23:36]I do think the good the By the way, I I'm really deep diving into this. One of the one of the big issues you've got is can you trust this person to not sell the story to the papers or something like that? I say papers, print journalism is almost dead, but I mean like just sort of spreading it around.

[00:23:51]Is there not >> Yeah, but yeah, I mean this is a problem. Then I'd have to probably go on to like this morning with him and Catherine cuz >> you and Catherine on this morning having to deal with what happened and then Catherine going actually it's something that I was happy to we'd had a chat about it.

[00:24:06]>> Yeah. So we all sitting there me Katherine and Neil Bacon the guy that I've had the affair with.

[00:24:13]>> Yeah.

[00:24:16]>> I've given the guy an alias. He's not the guy who's been getting called Neil Bacon.

[00:24:20]>> Yeah. Okay. Weirdly, they did need clarify. Guy's not called Neil Bacon.

[00:24:25]No.

[00:24:26]>> Um. All right. So, uh, >> yeah. So, so, >> so you you go, you meet for a drink and then >> Okay, let's let's imagine I'm Neil Baker.

[00:24:33]>> Okay, cool. Um, >> um, so I'm sat down, you walk in.

[00:24:37]>> Uh, Neil, all right, >> Tom. Lovely to meet you. I'm Neil.

[00:24:41]>> Hey, how are you? You good?

[00:24:42]>> You don't want to shake my hand.

[00:24:44]>> I do, but I just It's a weird >> All right, fine. You need to be clear about that cuz what it looked like is you didn't want to shake my hand cuz you thought I was [ __ ] >> No. Also just feel my hands are really sweaty.

[00:24:53]>> Oh, bloody hell. Yeah, they are.

[00:24:55]>> Yeah, quite hot in this room.

[00:24:56]>> All right, let's try again.

[00:24:57]>> Um, hello.

[00:24:58]>> Hi. Hi. Uh, Neil Neil Bacon.

[00:25:00]>> Yes, Tom.

[00:25:01]>> Yeah, Tom Davis.

[00:25:02]>> Yeah, take a seat, please.

[00:25:06]>> Oh. Oh, thank you. Oh, good table.

[00:25:08]>> Good table.

[00:25:09]>> Yeah. Yeah. Nice bar. I come here a lot actually.

[00:25:11]>> Oh, do you? Oh, you suppose you do this sort of stuff quite a lot.

[00:25:14]>> What sort of stuff? You ever meet guys have sex with them?

[00:25:30]>> What do you mean by that?

[00:25:31]>> Well, no, you're quite confident and I guess like you seem to like Yeah, you've been very good in steering the ship to this destination, if you know what I mean.

[00:25:40]>> Well, no, I wasn't. I hope you don't feel manipulated.

[00:25:42]>> Oh, would you like a drink by the way, Neil?

[00:25:44]>> Um, yeah. I'd love a a pint of laga.

[00:25:48]>> Samiguel.

[00:25:50]>> Great.

[00:25:50]>> Yeah, two pints of Siguel, please. Um, >> what are you doing?

[00:25:56]>> Oh, I don't know if the waitress heard me, but then I realized that she did.

[00:25:59]>> It was It's weird. I I I'm not convinced that is a waitress cuz we're in a pub.

[00:26:04]>> Oh, yeah. Oh, [ __ ] Okay. She doesn't work here. Oh, nevertheless. Um, >> yeah. Well, look, so to speak, what um how are you feeling about this whole thing? Well, I'm just a bit nervous now.

[00:26:15]I've never done anything like that.

[00:26:16]>> I'm nervous, too, because I'm a huge fan. Yeah.

[00:26:18]>> And I've always I've always like liked you.

[00:26:21]>> Yeah. I think I think it's probably a good time now to sort of depart the sort of place for me being a comedian to sort of being >> You've certainly not said anything funny since you sat down >> to being quite anxious that transition anxious about this. I've wanted to kiss a guy for quite some time, you know. Um but uh this feels like this is really sort of gathering momentum. So, I just wanted to get to know you and sort of like know a little bit about you really.

[00:26:45]>> What do you need to know?

[00:26:46]>> What do you do for a living?

[00:26:47]>> Um, I am an estate agent.

[00:26:49]>> Oh, wow. Tough old business at the moment.

[00:26:52]>> It is a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. It's It's tough, but And a lot of people Look, don't judge. I know a lot of people sort of think estate agents are are horrible people or whatever, >> but actually I you know helping people is one of the reasons I got into being an estate agent because >> you know a lot of people sort of say it's all about kind of lying about a property or whatever but actually I see it as >> getting somebody into sex with someone trying to buy a house in a empty house.

[00:27:18]>> Excuse me. Have you ever had sex with someone looking around a house cuz the house is empty and you just had sex with them?

[00:27:26]>> Uh, well, it's sort of frowned upon, but um, so no, but um, >> I just wanted to sort of >> Well, everything but up to the up to the >> I mean, I wouldn't Yeah, I wouldn't, you know, it's inappropriate to >> Why? Why do you ask that?

[00:27:40]>> I just always thought that'd be quite a sort of >> Is that something you'd like to do?

[00:27:43]Well, well, like if I came to look at a house and you're the estate agent and No, maybe like if we get on, maybe that could be a bit of role play that >> because I thought you just wanted to kiss, but >> Well, I've traveled halfway across London. It' be a shame just to have a kiss.

[00:27:58]>> Well, I mean, you can travel across London without [ __ ] someone, can't you?

[00:28:04]>> Um, yeah. So, no, I mean, I'm looking forward to the kiss, actually. It would be nice.

[00:28:07]>> Well, I You're actually one of my two celebrity crushes. It's you and Ian Wright. Oh, wow. Yeah, he's my style.

[00:28:14]>> He didn't reply.

[00:28:18]>> Yeah. Thanks for thanks for sticking with me with all the problem. I'm going to stick it on you in a bit.

[00:28:22]>> Yeah. Okay. Right. So, would you be up for kissing back here or somewhere else?

[00:28:26]Or >> you want to kiss here?

[00:28:28]>> In the in the toilet, maybe?

[00:28:31]>> In the toilet.

[00:28:35]>> Or find a nice little garden somewhere.

[00:28:38]Sort of like a park. Yeah, we can go kiss in the I mean um >> I don't really see how the girls are.

[00:28:44]They're taking forever.

[00:28:46]>> Um Tom, if you don't mind me asking, you you insist on meeting meeting at the pub to get to know me better. You talked to me for about a minute and now you want to go to the toilet.

[00:28:55]>> You know, I just I just think I just want to see if like there's chemistry between us.

[00:29:03]>> Yeah.

[00:29:03]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:29:04]>> And you think there is?

[00:29:05]>> Yeah. I think you're kind of you're quite a cool guy. Yeah. Yeah. I like the way you're dressed.

[00:29:09]>> Yeah.

[00:29:09]>> You know, >> sort of green looks nice on you. Thanks.

[00:29:13]>> Yeah.

[00:29:14]>> Okay.

[00:29:14]>> Quite a snotty nose, I don't know.

[00:29:18]>> Fever's quite bad at the moment.

[00:29:19]>> I got mean. Do Do you want to Do you want to either take a Piriton and wait an hour or maybe reconvene?

[00:29:29]>> Sorry. Yeah.

[00:29:30]>> When the pollen levels are lower. We're >> heads for the slot. So, yeah. I don't know.

[00:29:35]>> I'm going to find it quite difficult.

[00:29:40]My flirting game is is hard. I I think that's or or soft. I don't know what you call it. I I I'm out of practice for >> your flirting game makes people soft.

[00:29:48]>> Yeah. Yeah. It's not good, is it?

[00:29:50]>> Um Yeah. But I'd be worried that they were going to I' I'd really be worried that they were going to publicize the story.

[00:29:56]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:29:56]>> That's the big thing.

[00:29:57]>> But then Yeah.

[00:29:58]>> If if you could find a way of guaranteeing that wasn't going to happen, >> what would you do? Would you get them?

[00:30:01]>> I'd probably already have done it. Would you you get them to sign like a >> But those don't mean anything, do they?

[00:30:07]And also, what are you going to Okay, first of all, you and I can't knock up that document ourselves.

[00:30:11]>> No, you have to go to >> So then you got to go to a lawyer and then the lawyer goes, "What do you need?" and go, "How long would you take up a dock up a document where I go and [ __ ] a guy in a pub toilet?" But he never tells anyone.

[00:30:20]>> Yeah, that's true.

[00:30:21]>> It's It's a tricky one.

[00:30:22]>> Yeah. But also now, like you say, print media and sort of he could just do a whole Instagram story.

[00:30:27]>> That's what I'm saying.

[00:30:28]>> Yeah. Imagine if like without you realizing sort of like he's behind you and then takes a selfie.

[00:30:37]>> Yeah. Oh my god.

[00:30:43]>> Oh god.

[00:30:45]Just my cat back to front.

[00:30:47]>> Yeah.

[00:30:48]>> Anyway, something to think about.

[00:30:50]>> Shoot. It'd be worse for you because of the tattoos.

[00:30:54]>> Yeah.

[00:30:54]>> Yeah.

[00:30:55]>> Yeah.

[00:30:55]>> Have you got any tattoos on your back?

[00:30:57]>> No. Yeah, I have actually. I've got Lisa.

[00:31:01]Uh, and not her face. That's the name.

[00:31:03]>> Yeah. What is a [ __ ] stamp type thing?

[00:31:06]>> Yeah. It's just above my ass cheeks.

[00:31:10]>> Who's Lisa?

[00:31:13]>> Um, wow. [ __ ] hell.

[00:31:15]>> I went out for dinner with Lisa last night.

[00:31:17]>> Shout out Lisa.

[00:31:18]>> Big shout out, Lisa. And, um, uh, she told me that she didn't like tattoos very much.

[00:31:23]>> What?

[00:31:24]>> Yeah. She didn't say she didn't like them. She said she wasn't into tattoos.

[00:31:28]Now I've got >> I always worry like how how does she does she say that in like oh I'm not really into tattoos or >> No cuz basically I'm getting another couple done.

[00:31:36]>> Yeah.

[00:31:36]>> And I'm planning on getting another hand one.

[00:31:38]>> Yeah.

[00:31:39]>> And then I I exaggerated >> Yeah.

[00:31:42]>> how big the hand one was going to be.

[00:31:44]>> Right.

[00:31:44]>> Just to just for shits and giggles.

[00:31:46]>> Yeah.

[00:31:46]>> And then she said, "Don't get that."

[00:31:48]It's the first time she's ever said anything like that. Really?

[00:31:50]>> She goes, "Don't get that." And I said, "Oh, why?" And she goes, "I just don't know about hand tattoos." I go, "Well, do you not like this hand tattoo?" And she went, "Yeah, it's all right." Oh, wow. And then I said, "What's the problem?" And she's actually she's a little bit old school in that she thinks that she doesn't mind tattoos, but them being visible at all times.

[00:32:08]>> Yeah.

[00:32:09]>> She's got a bit of a thing about. And then it turns out she's not really into tattoos very much at all.

[00:32:13]>> Wow.

[00:32:14]>> Then we then counted how many I've got to establish how bad the problem was.

[00:32:17]I've got 21.

[00:32:18]>> Wow.

[00:32:19]>> So, but she's not she's never mentioned it before.

[00:32:22]>> I'm thinking of getting quite seriously.

[00:32:24]We've talked about this into the T. Oh, let's make the announcement now.

[00:32:27]Actually, official announcement.

[00:32:28]>> Official announcement, baby.

[00:32:29]>> I've spoken to Paul Boxel.

[00:32:31]>> Shout out Paul Boxel.

[00:32:33]>> He's designing us a Wolfenowl tattoo.

[00:32:34]We're going to get matches.

[00:32:36]>> The matching tattoos is going to be sick.

[00:32:38]>> Yeah.

[00:32:38]>> Where are you going to get yours?

[00:32:40]>> Um, where are you going to get yours? I was thinking I'm probably going to get it on this arm.

[00:32:45]>> Yeah, I'm I'm thinking probably Yeah.

[00:32:46]Where's that? Your left. Yeah, maybe on my left arm.

[00:32:50]>> Could do it like around here or something, maybe. I don't know.

[00:32:53]>> I'm very excited about it.

[00:32:53]>> Me, too. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I haven't seen the designs yet.

[00:32:56]>> Yeah.

[00:32:56]>> We're going to go together that way.

[00:32:57]>> It's going to be fun. It would be a day.

[00:32:58]>> Yeah. Doesn't sound like you're that excited.

[00:33:00]>> I'm very excited about it.

[00:33:01]>> I'm Are we going to Yeah, I'm excited.

[00:33:03]We're having some lunch.

[00:33:04]>> Yeah.

[00:33:05]>> Yeah.

[00:33:05]>> Well, we'll have lunch there cuz I'm getting a load of others done as well.

[00:33:07]>> How many are you getting?

[00:33:08]>> Uh, three.

[00:33:09]>> So, you get three in the same day. How many can you get in the same day?

[00:33:11]>> Depends how big they are.

[00:33:13]>> Like relatively >> like So, so I So, I got a biggie one up here. Really detailed. That took the whole day.

[00:33:20]>> Okay.

[00:33:20]>> But I got like a I got all a lot of this arm done in one day. He did about three or four >> like filler sort of stuff.

[00:33:26]>> Yeah. Like he did Let me show you.

[00:33:29]Should I show you?

[00:33:29]>> Yeah. Let me see. I'm quite interested because my thing is I don't want to just have like a small I I want to get something done. So >> So he did like that parental advisory >> and then he did a Kendrick Lamar up here, but it's quite small.

[00:33:43]>> And then he started doing like little coloring in bits around to sort of fill up the whole space.

[00:33:47]>> Oh, amazing.

[00:33:48]>> And we did that in one day. I say we did it. I just sat there.

[00:33:51]>> Yeah. Yeah. Um, but yeah, I'm excited for you, man. See, what tattoos have you got currently?

[00:33:55]>> I've only got the one, but I'm getting I've got one design there for my shoulder that's going up. One for my calf.

[00:34:00]>> Yeah.

[00:34:01]>> Uh, and having look at another both calves done. Don't want one here.

[00:34:05]>> Yeah. Um, >> are you worried about getting it done on your shoulder?

[00:34:11]>> No. Does it hurt?

[00:34:12]>> Does it hurt?

[00:34:13]>> The shoulder one.

[00:34:14]>> No, shoulder one's fine. Shoulder you get all day. Elbow was the worst, one of the worst pain experiences of my life.

[00:34:19]Would you say did you take like what do you do for the pain just like >> Well, I Paul's a very nice guy. Um but he we know each other well enough now that he sort of takes a piss occasionally. I once suggested that I put numbing cream on and that was not received >> really >> positively. Apparently it changes your skin numbing cream. It makes it more difficult to tattoo.

[00:34:40]>> But I if I if I think if I was to get my other elbow done I' I'd put some numbing cream on cuz it was [ __ ] agony. I don't think I'm going to get my elbow.

[00:34:47]That's That's Yeah, >> but it looks good. Like elbow's good.

[00:34:50]>> Yeah, elbow.

[00:34:51]>> But it does feel like they're he's engraving your bone.

[00:34:54]>> Jesus.

[00:34:55]>> It was quite painful. And then he he I got an ice cube portrait.

[00:34:58]>> Yeah.

[00:34:59]>> And he like that's really detailed. So it just felt like it was going on forever.

[00:35:03]>> Do you ever worry about some of the people that you have put on you?

[00:35:07]>> Yeah.

[00:35:08]>> I mean controversial.

[00:35:09]>> I had to cover up the Russell Brand one.

[00:35:11]>> That was insane. That Russell Brand. It was just I mean >> just put some like little postits in the Bible.

[00:35:21]>> Yeah. Yeah. Just read any passage up.

[00:35:23]>> Yeah. Just read anything and pretend that means something to you.

[00:35:25]>> Yeah. Like everyone else does relationship.

[00:35:27]>> And then there was light.

[00:35:29]>> Yeah.

[00:35:30]It felt like Yeah. Just But also then there's a part of me that like he's ever the showman.

[00:35:36]>> You know what? I think it's really impressive to be on a thing with Piers Morgan and Piers Morgan's the second biggest helmet on the in the shot. That's very rare.

[00:35:49]>> Can I say, by the way, he's getting a lot of applause for sitting there quietly. I couldn't get over the fact that watching Pierce Morgan's face, he knew what he was doing.

[00:35:57]>> I know. He was so He was so excited.

[00:36:07]It's uh it's a shame that Pierers Morgan's managed to get successful on YouTube, isn't it?

[00:36:11]>> Yeah. Yeah. You and him both are quite successful now >> um >> on YouTube.

[00:36:16]>> No, I'm not as successful as Pierers Morgan is on YouTube.

[00:36:18]>> Yeah, I know. But you don't say as sort of controversial gang stuff.

[00:36:22]>> No, I should do that. I mean, we did >> I did pretend to be a guy that's going to [ __ ] you in a pub toilet. It's not controversial, but >> Yeah, it it might be described as grabby.

[00:36:31]>> Yeah. Yeah. But you've got to grab this this day.

[00:36:33]>> Yeah, you do have to.

[00:36:34]>> It's all about >> um Pierers Morgan um wrote about me in his column >> when >> because I I I slagged him off on something or or commented about cuz he was complaining about um the fact that Percy Pigs have taken had taken the gelatin out.

[00:36:53]>> So, you know, they're vegetarian or vegan or whatever.

[00:36:55]>> Um or they've got a whole vegan range or whatever. But so >> they took the gelatin out.

[00:37:00]>> Yeah. And then Pierce Morgan said it's like woke gone mad or something.

[00:37:04]>> But who notices it? They're still one of the best sweets in the world, mate.

[00:37:07]>> If not the best.

[00:37:08]>> I know.

[00:37:09]>> Shout out Candy Kittens and Percy Pigs.

[00:37:11]I don't I think we're living in a messy Ronaldo era >> of Yeah, maybe. I don't know if there still at the moment. I'd say Percy Pigs and Candy Kittens are >> Those are your favorite.

[00:37:20]>> Yeah.

[00:37:21]>> I couldn't pick. It's like literally >> You couldn't pick between kittens and pigs.

[00:37:24]>> No.

[00:37:25]>> Um Yeah.

[00:37:26]>> Anyway, Pierce Morgan said something about it. I said something about him saying that >> and then he called I think he called me a professional troll.

[00:37:33]>> What?

[00:37:35]>> Wow.

[00:37:36]>> Pierers Morgan said that.

[00:37:37]>> A professional troll.

[00:37:38]>> Yeah. He said he's a professional troll and as all comedians are. He's a professional troll by >> But that's his job as well.

[00:37:46]>> I know. I know. I'd love to go I I'd love the Wolfenowl to go on the Pierers Morgan show.

[00:37:50]>> Would you?

[00:37:51]>> No. I don't know why I said that. I could I can't think of anything I want less.

[00:37:55]>> No. I I find I just find him like in a place where he I I weirdly thought him trying to jump on the HS Tik Tocky bandwagon.

[00:38:03]>> Yeah.

[00:38:03]>> Was it's the s Yeah.

[00:38:05]>> I would say he the the only thing that that makes me happy about Arsenal potentially bottling is that he'll be sad.

[00:38:14]>> Yeah.

[00:38:15]>> And sometimes when Arsenal have had a really great result, I see him post on social media and it ruins it for me.

[00:38:20]>> Yeah. It's mad that you've got that alliance.

[00:38:24]>> It's just so weird. It's two things, football and politics.

[00:38:27]>> We're just aligned. Do you know what I mean? You can't you can't help it.

[00:38:32]>> You are almost like, you know, like in Lord of the Rings when they get that little band of sort of that little gaggle of friends together. Yeah.

[00:38:37]>> And you're like the two guys are on.

[00:38:38]You're going for the same thing to help with the ring, but you don't get on. I can't who the two characters are.

[00:38:44]>> I I can't recognize the story line that you're describing.

[00:38:47]>> No, but didn't there two like Legololis and Aramir didn't get on for a bit?

[00:38:50]>> Legololis.

[00:38:51]>> Yeah.

[00:38:54]Legololis sounds like you telling the mate he's pissed, but you're pissed.

[00:38:58]>> You're I tell you what, you're [ __ ] absolutely legal.

[00:39:02]>> What's it? Legolass, isn't it?

[00:39:03]>> Legolas. Yeah. Yeah. The cool bit is when he rides down the trunk. That's my favorite bit of the whole thing.

[00:39:08]>> It's incredible. But you're like Legolas and he's like Aram.

[00:39:10]>> Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. In what way?

[00:39:13]>> No, but you're like the cool young buck and he's like the old sort of >> I would Okay.

[00:39:19]>> No, but you know what I mean. You're like you there's a lot of stuff that you share. Yeah, >> but then you you're like at odds, but then maybe at some point you save his life in the Quest for the Ring.

[00:39:29]>> Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I don't think the analogy works.

[00:39:32]>> Yeah.

[00:39:32]>> Have you watched Lord of the Rings?

[00:39:34]>> Yeah, I love it. It's a great film. I say I love it. I like the first two.

[00:39:38]>> What's wrong with the third one?

[00:39:39]>> [ __ ] It's went on forever. I just think they they done it all.

[00:39:43]>> I knew they were going to get to Mordor.

[00:39:44]I just knew it.

[00:39:47]>> Well, yeah. I mean, yeah. It wouldn't be as good if they didn't get to Mordor.

[00:39:51]>> Yeah. which is a big been a big old waste of time, Sam.

[00:39:55]>> But I suppose we should go home.

[00:39:58]>> But in the book, you know what happens?

[00:39:59]They go back to Hobbiton and it's [ __ ] been torched.

[00:40:03]>> Really?

[00:40:03]>> Yeah.

[00:40:04]>> Oh [ __ ] Why did they put that in the film?

[00:40:06]>> I don't know. I guess it could be too dark. Also, who the [ __ ] wants it to go longer?

[00:40:10]>> Yeah.

[00:40:11]>> And we've already got 20 minutes of Frodo just bouncing up and down on the bed going Gandalf.

[00:40:16]>> Yeah. When Gandalf turns up in that smelly old boat.

[00:40:20]Yeah. Anyway, >> I think we're we're ready to >> Wow.

[00:40:25]>> wrap things up, Tom. So, it's been quite the roller coaster.

[00:40:28]>> It has been I've got a frog in my throat. You know what it's I'm going to take I'm hitting up an asthma stroke hay fe whatever the pollen is at the moment is absolutely ripping me to shreds.

[00:40:38]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're We're having >> And you know, you can't have the hay fever jab anymore.

[00:40:44]>> It's really bad for your bones.

[00:40:46]>> I think you're thinking of amp.

[00:40:48]>> No, no, no. And the hay fever jab.

[00:40:49]Really?

[00:40:50]>> Yeah.

[00:40:50]>> Um, we uh have got loads of trees around our house. It's very >> green. Got a forest of your own. Sort of very sheriff of Nottingham vibes.

[00:41:01]>> I would have accepted this were you not living in the most affluent area of the country.

[00:41:10]>> I would accept this banter from you if you're not in the most expensive street in London.

[00:41:20]Okay.

[00:41:21]>> Yeah.

[00:41:21]>> Okay.

[00:41:22]>> I always forget that you Yeah, >> you always forget that I've been to the palace.

[00:41:26]>> The palace.

[00:41:27]>> Um, anyway, there's loads of trees.

[00:41:31]>> Pollen keeps settling on our cars, right? Yeah.

[00:41:33]>> From all the plants and everything.

[00:41:34]>> Good little job for Alex or Charlie.

[00:41:36]>> What's that?

[00:41:36]>> Going out and cleaning the cars.

[00:41:38]>> They won't do that. So, I mean, they would do. I mean, I've never actually in tring that off.

[00:41:45]>> Yeah. Yeah. And I get how to do it.

[00:41:46]>> We have to be careful. Tom, have you washed the car before?

[00:41:49]>> Yeah, of course. I did it for years. My dad had like that's what my dad had like.

[00:41:53]>> Okay. So, can I ask some Can I ask before we get into this? Yeah.

[00:41:56]>> Your thought for the day?

[00:41:57]>> Yeah.

[00:41:59]>> How are you? Cuz one of the what I cleaned one of my cars and I managed to scratch the [ __ ] out of it.

[00:42:04]>> How?

[00:42:05]>> Because you're supposed to rinse all the [ __ ] off before I was basically scratching it with the dirt.

[00:42:09]>> So, you got all you know those little circular scratches. So, you're supposed to pre-rin, aren't you? I didn't know that. all the Yeah. sand, mud, all that sort of stuff off.

[00:42:17]>> Yeah.

[00:42:18]>> Anyway, I didn't know that. Anyway, the point is we had left one of the cars, >> right, >> with pollen on it for a long time.

[00:42:26]>> Yeah.

[00:42:27]>> Somebody came around. We had to get a professional clean cuz we'd left it for so long. It was filthy.

[00:42:31]>> The guy cleaned it and then he said, "The pollen has eaten into your paintwork."

[00:42:35]>> Wow.

[00:42:36]>> It's now left a permanent There's now permanent pollination.

[00:42:40]>> The pollen is savage, mate.

[00:42:42]>> Savage. It turns out the car paint has got hay fever.

[00:42:44]>> Well, well, the headlights are all blockchain.

[00:42:47]>> That's a little lesson for everybody. Do you know what I mean?

[00:42:50]>> Get it off. Get it off.

[00:42:52]>> That's why everyone loves this time of year. I I like it once it gets hotter, but this point is like >> real hell.

[00:42:58]>> Flowers coming to bloom. My ass starts going.

[00:42:59]>> Yeah. I I wonder if today's thought will involve plants.

[00:43:03]>> It won't. Let's say I don't I'm going to Well, it was going, but now I'm going to bat against the tide. H >> I'm just thinking that.

[00:43:12]How you going to bat against the tide?

[00:43:15]>> Carpets are a funny thing. You walk across them day after day.

[00:43:19]>> Good luck.

[00:43:21]>> Same feet, socks, shoes, >> shoes.

[00:43:25]>> Dog poo.

[00:43:26]>> Dog poo.

[00:43:28]>> Carpets take a hell of a beating. You never really think about them. I guess that's the truth about life. It's the things that we walk on, the place in where we plant our feet, the things at the very bottom. But sometimes we don't consider. It's easy to look up at the ceiling and go, "Wow, look at that painting." Or, "Wow, look at that tiling work or look in a mirror and think, "God, that's a nice mirror." Seldom do you look down. And that's the truth about life. Maybe that's the best way of seeing how far you've come and how far you've grown is looking down and going, "I remember when the floor didn't seem so far away."

[00:44:04]Before you know it, you're growing older and older, taller, and then you grow short again and then tall again. I don't know how size works. But the truth of it is this. Sometimes it's good to put a barometer, whether it's looking down or looking across or looking in the mirror and just saying, "I've come a long way.

[00:44:21]Maybe you've just learned a new thing.

[00:44:23]Maybe you've grown in how you think about things." The truth of the matter is this. We don't give each other enough credit and we don't give carpet enough credit. And we don't give ourselves enough credit. So today, when you're out on your journeys, look in a tube reflection. Look up at the sky. Nay, more importantly, look down on the floor and think, "Huh, I used to lay down there and crawl, and now I can walk free." Go easy, friends.

[00:44:49]>> Really good.

[00:44:50]>> Thank you. Really good. I mean, I had one about plants I had to get rid of.

[00:44:53]>> The next time I'm on the tube, I will look up at the sky. Um, >> thank you so much.

[00:44:59]>> Bless. Thank you >> for listening and watching the Wolf and Out podcast.

[00:45:03]>> Like, subscribe, be a part of the journey.

[00:45:06]>> Be a part of the tribe.

[00:45:07]>> Oh, wow. That's a really Yeah.

[00:45:09]>> No, that's something that probably saying Hy Rocks, isn't it?

[00:45:11]>> Yeah.

[00:45:11]>> Yeah. We definitely haven't come up with that.

[00:45:13]>> Next week it's going to be the Hydrox.

[00:45:15]Hydro. Is it Hydrox?

[00:45:16]>> No, it's Hy Rocks.

[00:45:17]>> Hierrocks. The Hierrox special with Rubbish Shrank and Nathan Tom Davis aka the Wolf for now. Hierrock special coming next week.

[00:45:22]>> It's not. It's not. There's no Hierrocks. Neither of us are going to do Hierros.

[00:45:26]>> Peace out.

[00:45:26]>> Poop.

[00:45:28]>> Poop.