This collaboration represents the ultimate commodification of cringe, where brand identity is sacrificed for the sake of algorithmic engagement. It is a brilliant yet unsettling look at how modern marketing exploits narrative absurdity to bypass our traditional advertising filters.
Deep Dive
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Deep Dive
Crocs Made A Romance Movie For No ReasonAdded:
Hello and welcome back to Jarvis Johnson! GOLD, - [disembodied voice] Gooooooold! - The premium channel that is free.
Uh. It is. It is free.
But, if you're watching this, you're premium.
And if there's one thing about the internet, it's that ads rule the whole darn thing, okay?
Every website that's free is usually run off ads.
And if a website is free, uh, you're probably the product and that product is selling data to recommend ads.
It's the case on every social media app.
It's the case on most of our streaming services.
And these brands and the marketers behind them are always thinking of new ways to advertise, new ways to get eyeballs on their brand.
And that means that anytime there's a new internet corner or a new viral video, the brands attack.
I made videos, a lot of videos, back in the day about brand Twitter, TikTok.
Now, anytime there's a viral tweet, brands are going to be in the comments.
I recently saw this TikTok.
- I- I don't know why we couldn't try to resolve these issues we had sooner.
- I mean, I would have- [Samsung washer cycle tune] - And in the comments, not one, not two, but three different Samsung brand accounts commenting.
I don't even know if they knew about each other!
"Not us saving you from a tough conversation."
"It is a bop though."
"Just trying to make light of the situation."
I assume that because Samsung is a mega corporation that has like thousands of employees, these are three different social media managers who were given the bat signal that someone talked about their brand in a TikTok and it was time to strike.
And sometimes they go even further beyond, a level beyond Super Saiyan.
And that is integrated brand content, where the brand is front and center in whatever the content is being made.
So commercials are somewhat example of this.
But a more extreme example is in uh one of my favorite shows growing up, Community, where they had Subway personified as a character as a way to make money from the brand Subway to keep the show profitable.
Or, specifically on YouTube, I made a video about KFC and Lifetime partnering up to tell an origin story about Colonel Sanders with Mario Lopez starring as Colonel Sanders.
We've really been through a lot here together on the internet, but today I want to talk about short form vertical dramas.
Just because I haven't talked about vertical dramas doesn't mean I'm not noticing, okay?
And if you're not familiar, vertical dramas uh are essentially capitalizing on the fact that everyone's watching short from vertical video now on TikTok and reels and shorts.
And as a result, there is a company called ReelShort that is one of the biggest companie- No- by the way, with no affiliation to Instagram reels or YouTube shorts, but real short is essentially scripted dramas that are like highly dramatized.
They're very melodramatic.
They- soap opera-esque, even.
I've wanted to talk about these at large, and perhaps I someday will, but today I wanted to talk about a romance story on ReelShort that is created as a collab with none other than the brand Crocs, the shoe.
Now, Crocs are a crocodile inspired footwear that to my knowledge has no connection to romance, though some people do love them.
I used to hate Crocs performatively as a child in Florida.
I've since been gifted a pair and they're fine.
This is not an ad for Crocs.
In fact, I may end up saying things about Crocs in this video that may blacklist me from ever being considered for Crocs PR.
And those are the risks I'm willing to take here on Jarvis Johnson!GOLD.
But now that I mentioned it, today's video is sponsored by Saily.
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Thanks to Saily for sponsoring this video, now back to the video.
I usually like to check and see if someone else has talked about something before I talk about it.
And so I want to give a shout out to Jamie Regan, or Reegan, who made a video about this a couple weeks ago.
I haven't seen the video cause I don't want to pollute my mind with their ideas, but I'm sure they have better takes than mine.
So, uh, shout out for being first to market Jamie.
The show is called Charmed to Meet You, and that is presumably a reference to the charms that people put on their Crocs, which are called Jibbitz.
Uh, but I assume if you call them that, no one will know what you're talking about.
They could have called this uh, 'I Love the Cut of Your Jibbitz.'
That one's mine though.
You can't have it.
'How stupid is it?' is a question I'm assuming everyone is asking about the plot.
Let's give a brief little before we jump in.
"A young female professional is about to give up on love," Relatable, "when she unexpectedly sparks a connection with her mysterious neighbor through JibbitzTM charms left on their CrocsTM shoes."
That's awesome. Let's get in.
We see our main character wake up in a full face of makeup.
Beauty rest, am I right?
Then she gets ready for a while and most of that time is spent looking at her Crocs, which I've censored here because no free clout.
There's actually too much Croc in this.
You we- can't censor it all.
This time, no free clout.
The rest, whatever.
Then she uses a tear away calendar that reveals her moving day, which is coincidentally Valentine's Day.
Now, if we're tearing away the calendar, I assume it's the end of January and the beginning of February.
So, I'm placing us on February 1st.
So, we've got two weeks until Valentine's Day slash moving day for our love story to take place.
I understand that this is branded content for Crocs, but the amount of Crocs that have been on screen in just the first 45 seconds is absurd.
We've already seen three different pairs of Crocs from the main character.
She then leaves her house and sees another rogue pair of pristine Crocs sitting outside of her neighbor's door.
Look, I haven't watched a ton of ReelShort series, but they keep going to a wide shot so we can see the crocs.
Like, I see them, okay?
And they're peppered in little charms.
Then she takes off one of her charms and puts it on her neighbor's Croc for some reason.
What the hell?
(laughs) Why did she do that?
That's like something Jigsaw would do.
Would you like to play a game?
I've attached a D6 to your Croc.
Roll it if you- if you dare.
- Much better.
Chill. Maybe I like to rock my Crocs raw.
Maybe I like to raw Cro, okay?
Also, why are the Crocs facing forward like that?
That's how they would be facing if you were like leaving.
Am I to assume they open their door, turn around, kick off their shoes, and then moonwalk into their house?
Or maybe they're like a croc-based fireman and they need like, go shoes.
I have to point out that I do have a pair of Crocs that look like this.
This might be my house.
Or at the very least it's the apartment of a very cool guy.
Then he immediately opens the door to discover he's been charmed by his neighbor, further illustrating how weird it is that his Crocs are facing that way.
Lex arrives at work.
Our main character's name is Lex, by the way.
And simply by having a smile on her face, she draws suspicion from her nosy ass co-workers.
- Who got you smiling like that?
- I can't imagine how sad you must have to look every day for your co-workers to be this interested in you smiling.
- Was someone shot by Cupid's arrow?
- Was someone shot by Cupid's arrow?
No, I just saw some Crocs.
I can only assume that Lex works with her best friends because she goes on to exposit all of this information about her love life and her apartment that she's moving out of cause it's too expensive.
- I'm spending Valentine's Day moving out of that money pit of an apartment.
- What?
No, no, no.
My best friend is not spending the most romantic day of the year alone.
- I was right, they're best friends.
And I know this because they're doing the soap opera thing of giving all the information about their relationship in their dialogue.
Lex's best friend is this lady.
Her other friend/coworker is this black dude who keeps doing stereotypical black character non-verbal communication.
And I'm just going to say this right now.
If at any point he goes, "Mhm!"
I'm turning this off.
- I'm serious, Lex.
If anyone can find a date by Valentine's Day, it's you.
You just need to put yourself out there.
- Maybe I already am.
- And she says, "I have put myself out there in my own way."
We, the audience, know that her own way means putting charms on someone else's Crocs, which um is considered vandalism in some culde-sacs.
Anyway, Lex comes back home to chateau de Croc and sees that her Crocbased love interest—that again she hasn't met and doesn't know what he looks like, just that he owns Crocs—has removed the charm that she put on his shoes.
Which on one hand, understandable because why are you putting shit on my shoes?
And on the other hand, not to victim blame, but why are your shoes outside?
Maybe we're to assume that he's just this dark and brooding no charms on his Croc kind of guy.
Uh, but again, it doesn't look like he wears these Crocs at all because he hasn't had any emergencies lately.
Also, this shot of his Crocs is reversed, and I don't know why they did this.
I originally had a theory that it's because maybe they only had one apartment to shoot from, and they wanted to do it where it looked like he was- lived across the hall from her.
Uh, but they do this for the whole show and in all kinds of shots.
And I don't know.
And then I assumed that maybe the whole show was reversed, but there's that shot with the- the calendar in it.
And maybe that shot with the calendar is the only unreversed shot in the damn show.
I don't know!
And I don't think it matters, but it's bothering me, and now on to you.
Lex lingers on his naked crocs for a second, and I thought she was going to put a second charm on the Crocs, but no.
She gets ready to knock on the door.
Boom. Cliffhanger for episode 1.
This show is released weekly, so there's cliffhangers at the end of every episode.
She gets ready to knock on the door and psych!
You thought! you thought she was going to communicate directly with her love interest, but no, she will continue communicating as cryptically and indirectly as possible.
We get a graphic that says move out in 7 days, which is helpful for me who's trying to figure out the whole timeline of the show.
So, for those following along at home, it's been exactly 1 week since the charm-ening of Le Croc the...handsome guy.
I don't speak French.
I don't know why I did that at all.
So, we're back at work. Lex and friends are eating lunch and she lets out a big sigh.
(sighs) - Okay, that sigh felt a bit loaded.
- It's at this point that I'm convinced her friends are mentalists because they can extrapolate in her entire mind based on the smallest detail.
Also, and maybe this is a nitpick, but Lex speaks in such a like kind of diminutive small whisper that doesn't even feel like she's in the same room with her co-stars.
I kind of think that she might have done a bunch of ADR where they were like, "Oh, we didn't get it on the day, so we need to have you come back in."
It- It just sounds completely unnatural.
- Remember that guy I saw in my apartment elevator?
- Sorry?
Production, can we get a new mic on her?
Like, I don't even think it's the actress's performance.
I just like- I'm wondering if she was like not properly mic-ed up or something.
I don't know.
The acting in this is exactly what you would expect.
Everyone is- is- understands the assignment with like cheeky romance soap opera core stuff.
- Remember that guy I saw in my apartment elevator?
- (scoffs) Remember? You wouldn't stop talking about him for weeks.
- We get a reveal.
Lex does know what he looks like because apparently she saw him in an elevator off screen sometime before the show started.
I don't know why they didn't just show us this scene.
I- I feel like it would be helpful, but instead we hear about it in dialogue because she recognized his front-facing Crocs from the elevator.
But this information makes her actions of putting the charm on his Croc a little less weird and more of like a Facebook poke in terms of non-confrontational flirtation.
- I saw the same Crocs sitting outside my neighbor's place.
- Please tell me you knocked on that door and talked to him.
- I put one of my Jibbitz on his shoe. - Stop.
- Her friends are like, "Oh, you're neighbors with this cute guy.
Did you knock on his door and introduce yourself?"
She was like, "No, idiot.
I put my officially licensed Crocs trademark Jibbitz on his shoe.
Everyone knows what that means."
Instead of her friends telling her that this is a strange passive and indirect form of communication, they say it's a great idea and are flabbergasted that he removed the charm.
Right now, I'm thinking when they actually do have their meat cute, he's going to have some adorable reason for removing the charms.
Like, I took the charms off because I knew they'd lead me to you.
Or um maybe he was one dice short for yahtzee.
Lex has a Eureka moment at lunch and it has become clear to me that she is operating on a level my simple mind cannot understand when it comes to indirect non-confrontational romantic gesture.
She says, "Hey, putting putting one simple charm on your shoe, that's baby stuff, okay?
We're done with that.
I'm going to take every single charm off of my shoe and put it on yours.
And you will know what I mean by this because you are my love."
And I think this is why I'm single.
Cause I don't know what the fuck this means.
These things are not cheap, by the way.
I am pretty sure these charms cost like $5 a pop.
And that is a- that- those are fat stacks to drop on a stranger who will hopefully view this as a romantic signal and not the actions of a lunatic.
Also, I know you were wondering if the Crocs are visible at lunch.
You betcha.
She wakes up the next morning, puts on yet another unique pair of Crocs, and checks on her neighbor's Crocs to reveal he's taken off all of the charms except one.
Just left the sushi.
Sorry, I don't eat fish. (laughs) He eats the rest of the Jibbitz.
And Lex reacts like this is all a part of her plan and I am just not on her wavelength.
- Gotcha.
- What? Did she put like a tracking device on the charms? Gotcha!
- This is perfect.
You love sushi.
I think I hear wedding bells?
- Slow down, Cupid.
Who doesn't love sushi?
- At work, she shares the news with her unnamed friends who will remain unnamed for the entirety of the series.
And they all seem to understand what this means, and I am still in the dark.
What does it mean? Help me.
- Don't be a Valentine's Day Scrooge.
- No, he's right.
A crush can't survive on raw fish alone.
- What? - Mhm.
- Mmhmmm. (cackles) God damn it.
I know what I said, but I'm in too deep.
I got to know how this ends.
Okay, so I just noticed that her phone case is also a croc and it's also full of charms.
So, she must be running low.
So, they go to the Croc store to buy more charms to communicate with Prince Charming.
Prince Charm-ing!
Maybe I am on a different level.
Call me a handsome 3D printer at the Crocs factory, the way I'm- I Prince Charming.
- [VO] No pineapple on pizza ever.
- Video game or chess?
- [VO] Games, always.
- It appears to me that they truly think they're communicating their likes and interests romantically with one another through these charms.
Ala 36 questions to fall in love.
Do you like pineapple on pizza?
Do you like video games or board games?
If this happened to me, I would think I was talking to the Zodiac Killer.
I don't know why they're being so cryptic.
They get a bunch of charms at the Croc store and according to my calculations, she just dropped like $200 on charms for what could have been a text.
Please, for the love of God, just leave a note.
Is she ever going to get these Jibbitz back?
These things are expensive!
These were the questions that I have leading into the finale.
- [VO] Your turn. Fries or nuggets?
- So, this is like what she's hearing because they're not communicating telepathically.
They're communicating through the fucking charms.
The problem with this strategy is that it leaves too much room for interpretation.
If I leave a French fry and a chicken nugget outside my house and a raccoon eats the chicken nugget, he is not my husband.
All we know so far is Lex is dropping Jibbitz and- and homeboy is taking them.
I don't know if he's giving them back, but hey, love is about trust.
- This story's even got my jaded heart beating.
I've never seen you act like this about a guy before.
- Her guy has a very sad line about his own jaded heart and then says, "Lex, I've never seen you act this way about a guy before."
Which is supposed to be like, "Yeah, girl, get after it."
But kind of sounds like an intervention.
Like, Lex, in the past two weeks, you have spent $500 on Crocs charms for a man you have never met.
This isn't you.
- What's wrong, Lex?
- I've only been learning things about him.
What if- what if he doesn't like me?
- This girl has 900 pairs of unique Crocs and has not even considered leaving one of her own pairs outside.
And yet she's upset that she's only learning things about him.
Croc communication is a two-way street, sister.
He doesn't know where you live, what you look like.
I mean, maybe he clocked that it's the girl on his floor with a thousand charms on her shoes.
Um, so come to think of it, it's probably that. Never mind.
Most of the show takes place at Lex and Friends's workplace, but we never see them doing any work, which makes sense.
But it- it's funny to imagine their boss coming over and being like, "Hey, could you guys do your fucking jobs?
And why are there Crocs everywhere?
If I step on another plastic French fry, you're all fired."
Anyway, she orders more Jibbitz.
And my new theory is that she's being mind controlled by the CEO of Crocs.
Also, a few years ago, I was gifted a pair of Crocs and all my charms fell off.
Um, though I guess someone probably thinks I'm in love with them now.
Through no actions of her own, he starts asking her questions, but they're on his shoes.
So, I am a little lost on how this back and forth is happening.
Like, who is asking who what, and how are you not getting answers confused for questions?
When do you take off the- the charms and when do you put the new charms on?
They clearly have a system and it's only been a week and that's love.
- [VO] Tic tac toe. - [Lex] Challenge accepted.
- God, then they play tic-tac-toe on the fucking Crocs.
Come on, man.
They've spent too much time with their fun and games because it's Valentine's Day, which is the day that Lex has to move out of Croc apartment.
And coincidentally, Lex shakes out her big bag of- her thousand dollar bag of charms that she bought.
And there's one charm left, the heart.
Wow, it's so dumb.
-Alright. [knocking] - Presumably, she goes to drop that heart off and second she puts her hand on that on that door handle.
Knock knock. Who is it?
- Mr. Lamington, you scheduled movers for today, right?
- It's got to be my love.
Just kidding, once again, it's another knock fake out.
It's the movers.
That's two knock fake outs at a show that's like 12 minutes long.
Movers are here and I- I guess it's like one of those white glove moving services cause some of her stuff is packed and I don't know a second ago I just saw she had like a ton of glassware behind her that was not, so... fancy pants.
I mean we know she's rolling in dough.
We know she got that Croc money.
Lex leaves the apartment for one- one last job.
Okay, she's got to drop off the love for Mr. Croc.
And (gasp) what's this? The crocs are gone.
He's finally been called to the emergency his crocs have been cocked and loaded for.
Crocked and loaded, even.
No one has ever looked this devastated over a pair of Crocs.
Until today, and that's love.
Also, we see the elevator now.
So, there's really no reason we shouldn't have seen this man.
Okay, I'm pausing it.
I'm- We know what's about to happen, right?
She bumps into a guy.
She drops the- the love charm.
And then she's going to look down at his feet and reveal that he's been wearing the Crocs all along!
And it's finally their meet cute!
They got a minute to wrap this up.
It's- We're at the end.
Yeahhhhh.
And he's- he's rocking all of them, dude.
Those look like garbage!
Bro, what are those!
You got a record player and like a chicken nugget next to each other.
This is a terrible aesthetic.
[romantic music] What is this hairdo, bro?
No offense I mean, he's just like meant to look like a hot guy, but from what decade?
The fit is totally fine.
The Crocs are atrocious for this.
It looks awful.
Literally any other shoes.
Any other color of Croc even.
- Could she be? - Could he be?
- Yeah, I don't think there's too many other people rocking every charm they've ever made.
She went down in the elevator and we know that he was at 226 apartment.
I can currently see 210 in the background.
So, they're still shooting this on the same floor, which is fun.
- I- I'm Lexi.
- I'm Lexi. Here's my heart because I love you and we've never met, but I love you based on your shoes.
- I'm Tyler.
- What?! I was accepting of every creative choice that had- Okay, most of the creative choices that had been made in this story.
But the fact that he was also holding a heart charm?
Come on.
Okay, well she's moving.
Maybe they'll have to make a sequel.
That's the end.
I mean, uh, do they get together?
Do they exchange heart jibbitz?
Do the movers get out of the apartment in time?
Um, we'll never know cause I can't imagine that they make a season two of this.
I hope you had fun.
Um, this seems like a giant waste of money, I guess.
I mean, it has- maybe I'm wrong, though, cause the- this finale has 15,000 likes and this whole series has over 140,000 stars on ReelShort.
If this was fun and you enjoyed this, I do want to tackle some real short stories.
If you have any recommendations, let me know.
Preferably ones that other people haven't talked about cause I know this type of thing has been around for a while.
So, I don't want to kind of reheat other people's nachos if I can avoid it.
And word on the street is that my podcast, Sad Boyz, has a live show, live sketch, uh, podcasting, fun times, games, audience interaction.
It is all virtual.
We're doing it in a little studio.
And it's happening on May 28th at 6:30 Pacific time.
You can get some cool merch with your ticket if you want.
It does cost money, so hey, if you're not feeling it, no pressure, but hope it'll be worth your while.
We spent a lot of time on it, put a lot of work into it, and hey, trying a new thing.
If it flops, it flops.
We'll move on to the next.
So, if you're interested, I'll put a link in the description for that.
Stay gold, everybody.
There won't be Crocs, okay?
There's no- There's no Crocs.
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