Sixth Birth at 37-Years-Old, No Pain Killers During Delivery & Same-Sex Couple Birth Journey| S9EP10

[00:00:07][music] Hello. Fabulous. Have you marathon?

[00:00:17]>> Thank you. Lovely. Did you enjoy it?

[00:00:18]>> No, not this time. It was hard. Really, really hard.

[00:00:21]>> I know. This is the fifth. And I seen some of my I a lot of my friends on the way around were cheering me on. And I've seen some of my babies twins. Yeah. But this was the toughest one ever. Working here keeps me feeling like I am still 20s. Justin, how are you?

[00:00:39]>> I don't know timing wise, but impressive.

[00:00:44]>> I've been here since 1981.

[00:00:48]Had little cheers on the way around and I just have the same amount of energy as I had when I first started. And the thing is, it doesn't even feel like 30 plus years ago. It feels like 5 years ago or something. It was the toughest ever. Thinking never again. [laughter] >> That's it. You're going in there.

[00:01:09]You >> want a spooky window? You got >> Oh, god. Oh, she running me over.

[00:01:14]>> You got You got to watch it in >> Got a bath. Oh, >> you said you want >> a bath. We use this room for uh some of the water births.

[00:01:24]So, what baby is that?

[00:01:26]>> Six.

[00:01:26]>> Number six. Have you figured out what's doing it yet?

[00:01:31]>> Wow. Two of them anyway. [laughter] >> So, you happy to move about?

[00:01:39]>> Yeah.

[00:01:39]>> Do you want any pain relief?

[00:01:41]>> I'm all right for now. Just get just get it out.

[00:01:45]>> So, what's your combination? Boys, girls? He's got two boys and two girls from previous. I've got two boys and two girls from previous. And you've got two together. and we got one together and now this one.

[00:01:55]>> Well, you're very tidy people. I'm impressed with that.

[00:02:00]>> Had a tattoo with all the kids' names and dates of birth. So, cuz I can never remember him. I've got and I've got to put another one on soon once Madam's born cuz I'm terrible with dates, you know. Terrible.

[00:02:11]>> So, how old's your oldest?

[00:02:13]>> 16, 14.

[00:02:15]Oh, god. 9 6 2 this one. And you've got 17 yesterday.

[00:02:23]>> 15.

[00:02:24]>> 15. 14.

[00:02:25]>> Seven.

[00:02:26]>> Yeah. And seven. And Charlie, too.

[00:02:29]>> So, how did you guys meet?

[00:02:30]>> Our kids went to the same school.

[00:02:34]>> Oh, don't tell me you were standing at the gates of the school picking the kids up. Your eyes met. [laughter] >> Paul's oldest used to come around and have sleepovers and that with my daughter and and vice versa and they go to each other's birthday parties. And now they live in the same house.

[00:02:50][laughter] >> Which is a bit crazy.

[00:02:52]>> Strange twist of fate there.

[00:02:53]>> Yeah.

[00:02:55]>> It just Yeah. He's broke up with his girlfriend. [music] Girlfriend. She your girlfriend.

[00:03:02]>> Took me a while, I think, to realize that what was happening. I think I was more worried about everybody else than rather than making myself happy. I was worried about what >> the kids would say. We've known each other for years, haven't we?

[00:03:15]Even when we first got together, we didn't tell them.

[00:03:18]>> Were you married the last last [music] time?

[00:03:20]>> No. No.

[00:03:21]>> Your first partner?

[00:03:22]>> No. I was with him for god 14 14 years.

[00:03:26]Same as you with his ex.

[00:03:28]>> Kept saying I'll marry you one day. I'll marry you one day. No, you won't. I'm never getting married. I've always said that.

[00:03:33]>> She always said she never get married.

[00:03:34]>> Always said it. In the end, I just thought s it. I'll do what I want to want to do and I'll be happy.

[00:03:42]So you two guys have got together and this is your first wedding, first marriage.

[00:03:47]>> Yeah.

[00:03:47]>> So that's why it's different, isn't it?

[00:03:49]You're see more serious about each other. [snorts] >> Still feels weirdly my husband though.

[00:03:55]Even though we've been married 2 years, [music] it still feels weird, doesn't it?

[00:03:59]>> Yeah.

[00:04:00]>> I don't think I ever believed in the one [music] until I realized that Laura was the one.

[00:04:08]>> Yeah. That's why I asked her to marry me.

[00:04:12]Oh, [snorts] so big.

[00:04:13]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:04:14]>> Oh, God.

[00:04:17]>> So, is this the last one there?

[00:04:19]>> Yeah.

[00:04:19]>> Oh, yes.

[00:04:20]>> Paul's going to rub the old sniff. We've got a couple of bricks around the back.

[00:04:25]If you >> [music] >> You ready for this?

[00:04:47]>> The silence says it all. [laughter] >> Left, left, left, left, left, left, >> right, right, right.

[00:04:56]>> Jeez, why do you always do that?

[00:04:58]>> You always make that mistake. How many times we've been to the hospital in >> You can You can get there that way.

[00:05:04]>> I love living in Birmingham. I'm the city mouse and Lauren is the country mouse. I'm becoming more in more city based, but >> I get a bit panicked that I'm not near a big town, don't I? And I like everything that's here.

[00:05:15]>> You have no sense of direction. It take you two years to work out how to get back to our house.

[00:05:20]>> Shut up, please. Be quiet and have a baby.

[00:05:24]>> From when I was nine, I've been down in Cornwall, so living in the seaside and the surfing. And I think it'd be nice for us to eventually move down there, wouldn't it? But I bet it would.

[00:05:34][laughter] >> Okay, I'm alone in my thoughts. Maybe when I'm like 65.

[00:05:38]>> Yeah. No, if you're retiring, maybe.

[00:05:45][laughter] >> Okay.

[00:05:48]>> So, what we'll do first is just check you over, check your observations and so on. Um, just run through a bit of your history and then the doctors will come and see you. Okay.

[00:05:57]>> Check you over, check your consent, and the anis will come and see you as well.

[00:06:00]And then we'll have a baby.

[00:06:02]>> Do we know what we're having?

[00:06:03]>> A girl.

[00:06:04]>> Oh, lovely. And am I right thinking you've got a little girl already?

[00:06:07]>> Maisy.

[00:06:07]>> Oh, lovely. And how old's Maisie?

[00:06:09]>> She's free. She turned just turned three.

[00:06:12]>> We met at uh rugby club. We played rugby together.

[00:06:16]>> So with the electors, we do try and get you home sort of after 24 hours.

[00:06:19]>> Get in, get out, >> get up, get moving.

[00:06:22]>> So I'd been in the rugby team for a while and then Lauren had come along with a friend from university.

[00:06:28]I didn't really, no offense, I didn't really take much notice. Just a random person that came to rugby.

[00:06:33]>> [laughter] >> Lauren just came over and started talking to me and that was the end of that.

[00:06:41]>> Made a beline a bit, didn't I?

[00:06:42]>> Yeah.

[00:06:43]>> Yeah.

[00:06:44]>> And that was it.

[00:06:44]>> Yeah. And that was it.

[00:06:45]>> She never went home. [laughter] That was the end.

[00:06:48]>> Yeah.

[00:06:50]>> You can't say that.

[00:06:51]>> What [laughter] happened?

[00:06:54]>> Oh, I don't know what I forgot. What?

[00:06:56]Slippers. I think I might have put the the the horrendous ones in there.

[00:07:04]I think it took me quite a while to be happy with who I was really. Um, it took me a while to accept that I was gay and that and that was actually okay.

[00:07:13]>> Whereabouts in the bag are they? What do you mean whereabouts in the bag? There's a bag. I don't think they are in here.

[00:07:19]>> I wasn't really [music] open enough to say this is definitely what what I want.

[00:07:23]But that changed obviously when I met Ray.

[00:07:26]>> Oh, I've got them. All right. Sexy. Ow.

[00:07:31]Sexy [music] slippers. I don't want them now.

[00:07:37]Just checking. They were there.

[00:07:48][music] >> That's three.

[00:07:57]>> That three.

[00:08:00]recovery.

[00:08:01]>> Recovery.

[00:08:04]>> I truly didn't realize what it was like to be a laboring mom until I had my own children.

[00:08:11]>> Going for my miso. I've got Hartman and I'm going for my >> I had my own four children here.

[00:08:19]Wouldn't think of going anywhere else cuz you know this my hospital trusts the people looking after me.

[00:08:24]>> I've got heartman. I've done it and the mind's on.

[00:08:28]>> Cuz I remember my midwife at the time, Carol, I just zoned in on her voice all the way through. I could hear it. Even through the pain, I could hear this voice. I thought, "As long as she stays in the room, I'll be okay."

[00:08:40]For all the technology we're going to have in this world, they will never, please God, please God, they will never have a little robot that will come into the room and and say, "I'm I'm your midwife. I'm your darling midwife today."

[00:08:53]So I'm Antoanette.

[00:08:55]>> Nice.

[00:08:56]>> The Paul.

[00:08:56]>> Yep.

[00:08:57]>> This is baby number.

[00:08:59]>> Six >> for both of you. Baby number six. Yeah.

[00:09:02]>> Yeah. Four on four. And then one and then one.

[00:09:06]>> Four.

[00:09:06]>> He's got four.

[00:09:07]>> You've got four.

[00:09:08]>> Four from our ex.

[00:09:09]>> And you've got four.

[00:09:10]>> So in total, how many have we got?

[00:09:12]>> This is number 10.

[00:09:13]>> Oh.

[00:09:14]>> We got a 2-year-old between us and this one.

[00:09:16]>> Oh. So what my plan is now to examine you and see what's happening. Okay.

[00:09:24]>> I'll know more about the labor process than most women.

[00:09:28]>> So, let's [music] see. Let's see what progress we've made here.

[00:09:32]>> Probably nothing.

[00:09:33]>> Got to be something. There's got to be >> Listen, this baby's going to come out.

[00:09:41]Don't worry. She can't stay in there, can she?

[00:09:45]>> Yeah. We're having a girl.

[00:09:47]>> Yep. Yep. Little baby girl.

[00:09:51]She is headbutting me. [ __ ] >> Really?

[00:09:54]>> What's the eldest out of all them? Did you say 16?

[00:09:57]>> Pause is 17.

[00:09:58]>> 17. Is that boy or girl? [music] >> It's a girl.

[00:10:01]>> You keep saying you haven't had a girl for 15 years.

[00:10:03]>> Yeah, it's going to be weird having having a girl. Going to be weird. I haven't can't remember how to change and do anything with a girl.

[00:10:10]>> So, he's got a 17year-old girl and a 15year-old girl and then the rest were boys.

[00:10:15]>> And then the rest boys.

[00:10:17]>> Still going to call it a day. I want to call it Dave. [laughter] >> Not going to call it Dave.

[00:10:21]>> I want to call her Dave. I've always wanted a little Dave. [laughter] >> So I guess all the little ones at home are all excited, are they? All the children.

[00:10:31]>> Yeah.

[00:10:31]>> You've got loads of babysitters, you know.

[00:10:33]>> Yeah, I know. That's that's the way they are now with them.

[00:10:36]>> Yeah. Do you know you need it in writing? My eldest [snorts] Luke used to be really good with my youngest cuz he was 11 when Patrick was born. He was really good with them.

[00:10:46]He didn't like [music] the nappy change in there.

[00:10:50]>> It can get quite chaotic, but if you were a fly on the wall, you wouldn't think there [music] were seven kids in this house every single day. And then sometimes, you know, there's nine soon to be 10.

[00:11:03]>> Our variability's definitely improved [music] fine, but I think she has been pushed through the breast canal now. I'm hoping >> an empty house would be marvelous.

[00:11:11]>> It would be nice for a week.

[00:11:12]>> Would be lovely for a week.

[00:11:14]>> Yeah. Yeah. Just >> lovely for an hour.

[00:11:16]>> Yeah. Just to have a lay >> heaven.

[00:11:20]>> You can There's a [music] big difference there, isn't there?

[00:11:22]>> Yeah.

[00:11:22]>> From from sort of there up.

[00:11:24]>> Yeah.

[00:11:24]>> Yeah.

[00:11:25]>> Yeah. They tally up with each contraction with the peak of it. That's when the most pressure is on for the baby. So, I'm hoping that that's what it is. And I I would imagine it is.

[00:11:34]>> Yeah, it looks like it from that.

[00:11:36]>> See, I I can do this job now.

[00:11:38]>> I can be a midwife now cuz I understand that a bit more.

[00:11:41]>> You You I could sit you there. You got Yeah, you're doing it now. Yep. You're doing it.

[00:11:44]>> I got my gold cleaners gloves as well.

[00:11:46]>> That's it. Gloves on. That's it. You tell her what happened.

[00:11:48]>> Mhm.

[00:11:49]>> So, you're all right if I go for a nice long break.

[00:11:52]>> I'll leave you there. [laughter] [music] >> Hello.

[00:12:04]Shut up.

[00:12:06]>> Okay.

[00:12:08]Shut up. Shut up.

[00:12:09]>> Okay. Yeah, I will tell her. Thank you.

[00:12:12]>> Who's that?

[00:12:13]David.

[00:12:13]>> Who?

[00:12:14]>> David.

[00:12:14]>> Who?

[00:12:15]>> The doctor. David.

[00:12:16]>> David.

[00:12:17]>> Dr. David.

[00:12:18]>> I thought you [laughter] said Debbie.

[00:12:19]>> David. David.

[00:12:22]>> I thought she said >> I thought she said Debbie. It's Debbie.

[00:12:26]David. [laughter] >> Come on, guys.

[00:12:32]Debbie. [laughter] >> Say Debbie and David next to each other.

[00:12:37]>> Debbie. [snorts] David. [laughter] Come on, girls. David [laughter] and David because I'm because I'm an [laughter] >> It sounds the same. Be honest.

[00:13:02]>> Stop it.

[00:13:02]>> I'm going to ask David. Can I call you Debbie? [laughter] >> Okay. [laughter] He won't. He won't notice the difference. [cough] [laughter] >> Sorry.

[00:13:18]>> I'm going to practice today.

[00:13:19]>> No, don't. You're absolutely perfect.

[00:13:21]It's just that 5:00 mayhem.

[00:13:26]>> Just that's my large coffee that I just ordered.

[00:13:40]Did you press the wrong? Did you not press large?

[00:13:42]>> It's flat. It's meant to be a large, but it's a flat white. But I want I was going to have moccino, but I pressed moccacino and it wasn't working. So I looked I looked make sure I put my money in. Then I pressed it again, but I didn't press it again. I pressed flat [music] white and then it gave me a flat white. It's fine. But it's just not very much coffee.

[00:13:58]It's a very interesting story.

[00:14:02]Highlight of my day before the child comes. [laughter] It's quite a special thing to find someone that you can um that you can see a future with really. [music] I kind of thought that was never going to happen really for me. That I just couldn't see myself settling down.

[00:14:19]>> I think I'll [music] fit a gym session in today. Shut up.

[00:14:22]>> You're not going to the gym today?

[00:14:23]>> I go tomorrow.

[00:14:24]>> If you go to the gym today, this is divorce on the cards. [laughter] What about tomorrow?

[00:14:30]>> Lauren hadn't come out to her parents yet. I'd come out, but Lauren hadn't come out to her parents. and she didn't want to tell them until she was sure that she'd met somebody that she was going to [music] stay with.

[00:14:40]>> 6:45 I might go to that one.

[00:14:43]>> Well, you would have had a nice night's [music] sleep. Hopefully, [laughter] especially without me in the bed. Yeah.

[00:14:48]Darth Vishy getting up and down to go for a we every 5 seconds. [music] >> I felt extremely nervous being the first, not just the first woman, but the first person that Laur had ever taken home in a relationship.

[00:14:59]>> It's like the last parade, isn't it? I I go home, get a night of sleep, and then back ready for the onslaught of when the baby comes home and there's no more sleep ever. Ever.

[00:15:11]>> It's not what they'd expected. They're brilliant, by the way. Her parents are brilliant and they're so supportive and so accepting, but it's always a bit of a shock.

[00:15:20][music] You >> excited?

[00:15:26]Well, I was quite excited this morning.

[00:15:28]I'm just bit bored at the moment.

[00:15:33]I've always wanted children and we'd always said once we were married we'd look into all the different options cuz there are a lot of options and it is a bit of a minefield. It's not as easy as uh man and woman. [music] So we have to think about different different avenues to go down and that's what we did. I think if we progressed this naturally I think you'd [music] probably go two two weeks over >> probably.

[00:15:56]>> Yeah. I don't think she would be coming out anytime soon by choice. No, >> I'm predicting she's going to be quite shocked about the [laughter] whole situation.

[00:16:23]Okay, tell me what it feels like in your bum. It's okay. It's okay, my darling.

[00:16:27]You're doing fine. What's it like in your bump? Go on. Go on. Go on. Go on.

[00:16:32]Go on. Go on. Good girl. That's it. Go on. That's it. And again. Go on. Good girl. There's her head. And again. Go on.

[00:16:41]>> Good girl. Go on. She's there. Good girl. Well done. Well done, Laura. Well done. Keep going.

[00:16:50]>> And again. Wait. Wait till Yeah. Wait till you get that pre Wait till the pressure comes [gasps] back on.

[00:16:55]>> It's nearly out.

[00:16:56]>> Oh yeah. Nearly. Nearly.

[00:17:02]>> And again. Good girl. That's it. Good girl.

[00:17:06]>> Having all the kids is nice when even if it's just two of them sat together um doing their own thing and getting on well. It's just nice to see.

[00:17:15]>> Do you want to hold Paul's hand that side while you're doing that next push?

[00:17:19]>> Yeah.

[00:17:19]>> Yeah.

[00:17:20]>> I don't think I'd um even bother getting up to go to work if it weren't for the kids. You know what I mean?

[00:17:27]And just rest when it's gone. [music] Rest when it's gone. I don't want to rest in case she goes back again.

[00:17:30]>> No, she going back. No, no, no. The only way she's going.

[00:17:34]>> Yeah, >> definitely.

[00:17:35]>> No going back. Now listen to me and I'm going to guide her through. Good girl.

[00:17:38]I'm going to guide her through for you.

[00:17:41]She's coming.

[00:17:43]>> Hold on for a bit. [music] Now [music] >> don't need to push again.

[00:17:51]>> Do you feel pressure? I only want you to do when you feel pressure. It's starting to come.

[00:17:56]>> Yeah. When you [music] feel the pressure, you go first.

[00:17:58]>> Do a big one.

[00:17:59]>> A big one.

[00:18:00]>> Yeah. She'll come out with the next couple of pushes. Definitely. [music] >> Good. Go on. Get her right down there like you did before. Go on. Keep going.

[00:18:06]Keep going. Keep going. [music] Keep going. That's it. That's it. Go on. Go on. Come on, Laura. You can do it.

[00:18:14]>> Good [music] girl.

[00:18:17]>> Oh, Laura. Just unbelievable. Oh.

[00:18:28]Hey, Laura.

[00:18:31]>> Hey, sweetheart.

[00:18:33]There you are.

[00:18:48]Having a new [music] baby.

[00:18:50]She's just going to fit in. She She will just fit in. And you know, everybody's going to love her.

[00:18:55]>> Here we are, honey. All done. Dusted.

[00:18:58]>> Well done. [music] You can come again.

[00:19:00]>> No thanks. I ain't coming again.

[00:19:02]>> No thanks.

[00:19:05]>> It's going to be out of a feeling holding [music] the baby knowing that she's probably going to be the last.

[00:19:10]>> Here you are, daddy. Here's your bundle.

[00:19:12]>> Yeah.

[00:19:14]>> Yeah.

[00:19:15]>> She's lovely.

[00:19:16]>> I mean, I'll probably hold her a little bit tighter than I did the others, I think, knowing she's the last. Yeah.

[00:19:22]>> Yeah.

[00:19:23]Yes, you are.

[00:19:24]>> Yes, you are. [music] And you were taking every word in, didn't you?

[00:19:28]>> Yes, you are.

[00:19:30]>> Yes, you are.

[00:19:48]Allah.

[00:20:05]>> Okay.

[00:20:05]>> Oh. All right. Darling, have you you finished?

[00:20:08]>> Yeah.

[00:20:09]>> Did you say one for me?

[00:20:11]>> I was blessed that when I first saw her, I fell in love with her.

[00:20:17]All right, sweetheart. I'm going to bring the birthing ball in so [music] you could sit on that.

[00:20:22]>> I've never used that before.

[00:20:24]>> Oh, they're really nice. I meet Uroa in students [music] conference in south of Malaysia and I didn't notice him. I see him but I not really focus on him, you know.

[00:20:40]>> So, what are the contractions like now?

[00:20:42]Do you know?

[00:20:42]>> I'm not sure. is more.

[00:20:44]>> They're still coming, aren't they? But not very not >> frequent.

[00:20:48]>> Not very frequent.

[00:20:50]>> Had a feeling that she's [music] very special. And that feeling uh goes deep into [music] my heart.

[00:21:03]I never felt that feeling before.

[00:21:08]Can you take the Quran for me, please?

[00:21:10]Thank you.

[00:21:12]and some dates. This the dates for the energy.

[00:21:23]At the conference we are talking about the human rights and everything then he knew that I'm interested also in that field.

[00:21:35]It's not just like is she's beautiful like she's charming or everything but it's about like the one that understand what >> but you are beautiful you >> yeah I know that he know that this girl have the same common interest with him I didn't speak to her because I'm a shy I asked my sister to get in touch with her >> ta one birthday but they are so comfy.

[00:22:16]>> I told my [music] sister that when you get in touch with Nadia you might need to find an answer whether she's ready to get married with me.

[00:22:25]>> [music] >> I'm going to break these waters and then hopefully within a couple of hours it may [music] put you into labor anyway.

[00:22:33]Hope so. Okay.

[00:22:35]>> When his sister contacted me, uh I'm very surprised and then I'll feel quite excited because I'm just finishing my study and I'm looking for someone.

[00:22:50]Three times I meet Ura before we get married. He's very considerate.

[00:22:55]He always make me happy.

[00:22:59]>> Can we just take picture together?

[00:23:01]>> Yeah, of course. We can have a picture together.

[00:23:04]>> Daddy, >> when I met her, she has every uh aspects that [music] I always wish to have in in in my future wife.

[00:23:14]Okay. One, two, three.

[00:23:17]>> Very nice.

[00:23:18]>> I hope you got my good side. [laughter] >> Yeah, it's okay. It is.

[00:23:22]>> Is it okay? very >> a that's nice. That is you here.

[00:23:40]You here's each other's coming.

[00:23:53]>> [laughter] >> doing that way cuz that's the rules.

[00:24:00]For me, [music] gender is on a spectrum and some people are more towards being a woman and some people are more towards being a man. Although we're both one or the other and I'm definitely a woman, but carrying for me feels very wrong.

[00:24:14]>> I bought a camera.

[00:24:15]>> What do you friends? Probably better though, isn't it?

[00:24:17]>> Yeah. I'm not very good at photographs at the best of times.

[00:24:20]>> No, you're not. I've taken them or been in them. Either one.

[00:24:24]>> I think out of the two of us, I've always had the desire to carry a child more than the Ra did. So, it was I'll carry first and then we'll we'll look at our other options. And we decided to use a donor.

[00:24:40]>> Oh, yeah. You're all right. You're okay.

[00:24:42]Just going to say sorry, there's a bit of a wait. the um first one that the really complicated one they've just finished. Okay. [music] So, there's one more and then it's going to be you next.

[00:24:54]>> So, another another hour and a half or so.

[00:24:57]>> Yeah, that's half rubbish.

[00:24:59]>> Yeah, >> we selected our donor very very carefully. We do know him and I have a lot of respect for him um as a person.

[00:25:06]He's an amazing person and we did agree that he would be the only donor that we would use. So if there was some reason that he wasn't able to help us anymore, then that's the end of our our journey.

[00:25:15]It's really important for us for the children to be genetically linked.

[00:25:19]>> You know, there's times in your life [music] when you know something big's going to happen, like when we had our first child or the day before we got married.

[00:25:25]>> Big event in your life.

[00:25:27]>> Yeah. But a really good one.

[00:25:28]>> A lovely one.

[00:25:29]>> Now, how did you go about the pregnancy?

[00:25:31]Is it donor?

[00:25:32]>> Yeah. Same. Same donor as Maisy. This one is >> Maisie is my child. She couldn't be more my child. And actually in many ways she's very like Lauren, but she is very like me just the man of reasons she's picked up. But it would be lovely to have a child that that looks like me.

[00:25:48]>> Oh yeah, that that covers your whole foot. That goes on your whole foot. No, your toes like that.

[00:25:52]>> No, no, no. There end stick your toes out of it.

[00:25:55]>> Oh, do the sock bit.

[00:25:59][music] I bet the other children are all excited, are they?

[00:26:16]>> Yeah.

[00:26:17]>> Yeah. What are their ages again? Remind me.

[00:26:21]>> 12.

[00:26:22]>> 12.

[00:26:23]>> Five and two.

[00:26:25]>> Oh, that's perfect. Okay, >> good baby. Behave.

[00:26:32]The eldest. What's he called? Marwine.

[00:26:34]>> Marwine. And then what's the your next one is your girl. What's she called?

[00:26:39]>> Mariam.

[00:26:40]>> I have her Maria. That's similar, isn't it?

[00:26:43]>> She got two names. Mariam Hannah.

[00:26:46]Usually in our country, they usually put the name very long name like three names.

[00:26:51]>> Yeah, they do in Ireland, too. My Maria's got two names. My boys have got three names.

[00:26:56]>> Oh, >> I know. What's the next one?

[00:26:58]>> The boy, Nahid. And then there's a your little girl, the 2-year-old. What is she called? Sakina.

[00:27:06]>> Sakina.

[00:27:06]>> Yes.

[00:27:07]>> Is she good? A good two-year-old.

[00:27:09]>> Is she the one baby?

[00:27:10]>> No.

[00:27:11]>> Do you love baby? No. I love mommy.

[00:27:15]>> Cuz she probably thinks I'm mommy's baby. I don't need another baby in the house.

[00:27:21]>> I love to have a large family because [music] I think that children give us joyful life and happier life.

[00:27:31]>> Is there many in your family? I'm the first one out of six. [music] >> You're one of six.

[00:27:35]>> I'm second of seven.

[00:27:37]>> Oh, really? So, you got massive families.

[00:27:39]>> Yeah.

[00:27:40]>> When you grow up in a big family, you kind of want a big family, too, don't you? Cuz you're used to it.

[00:27:44]>> Growing in a big family means you have more friends. Your siblings are your friends. So, you you got more uh friends in in in your family.

[00:27:54]>> Okay. Just bring that leg up for me, sweetheart. Right. And I'm going to just see if I can pop this front bit of the water.

[00:28:02]Now, this will stimulate more of the contractions cuz now that the front waters have gone.

[00:28:07]>> Okay.

[00:28:08]>> When you get a contraction, it pushes the baby's head down right directly onto the neck of the womb. It instantly stimulates your body to release >> your labor hormone. Okay.

[00:28:18]>> Okay.

[00:28:19]>> The body's very clever what it can do.

[00:28:21]Very, very clever.

[00:28:23]>> Feeling okay.

[00:28:24]>> So, that's it, sweetheart. We're on the way now.

[00:28:28]>> Nadia is a super lady, superwoman.

[00:28:32]>> She managed to take care of our four children >> very good and always uh being kind to to them and always thinking of uh their uh welfare and their education.

[00:28:46][snorts] >> You know what when I'm in my country there is a private hospital. We have we can choose either private or government.

[00:28:55]If if we are choose in private then he has a very big television to see the football match you know >> really nice >> to keep the husband [music] distract from the pain of [laughter] >> we have an amazing NHS here [music] >> we truly have and I don't think I think we take it for granted sometimes it's wonderful >> and most of the time it's one to one when you're in labor so like I'll be with you right up until the end hopefully I will see this baby on my shift Yeah, I was born in Birmingham and uh went back to Malaysia after 1 year. I moved back to [music] UK 3 years ago to uh to pursue my study in master's degree in social development.

[00:29:39]>> And would you like a cup of tea or coffee?

[00:29:43]>> Yeah.

[00:29:44]>> Do you like cup of tea or coffee?

[00:29:45]>> Yeah, sure.

[00:29:46]>> Which one? Tea.

[00:29:47]>> Um tea will be >> tea.

[00:29:50]>> Yes. Yes. Tea, please.

[00:29:52]I need to find a pillow for you.

[00:29:54]>> It is very special because the [music] baby will be born in Birmingham, the place I was born.

[00:30:05]>> Only me.

[00:30:07]>> I brought your husband some tea.

[00:30:10]>> Okay. All we need is a baby.

[00:30:18]>> It's not often [music] we get like a little lull like this. Yeah, this is lovely.

[00:30:24]>> The other day when I was at rugby with my son Patrick, there was a young girl who's a girlfriend of one of the lads brothers who play rushing around as a mom with four children and trying to juggle work and school and running to school and trying to collect them on time. Oh, it was a juggle. An absolute juggle. And he said, "My girlfriend knows you." I said, "Oh, really?"

[00:30:47]Sometimes I've had to ring through and say, "I'm just my mom's just given birth. I can't leave. I can't leave.

[00:30:52]I'll be there." And when I get to the school gates, the teacher go, "How did she get on? What did she have? What did she have?" You know, as I tore down the drive to get them.

[00:30:59]>> And he said, "Well, her name is Libby [music] Antuinette." And when they asked her, "Why was she called Antonet?" She said, "It was called the midwife." And and because I know the mom and dad.

[00:31:07]Yeah, >> that's fab.

[00:31:09]>> And I think when you look back, you think, "How did I manage all of that?"

[00:31:12]But at the time, you just do it because you you just have to do it. I met her last week. I was like meeting my baby. I was going, "Oh, hello my darling." You feel really mature.

[00:31:22]>> I know. And she wants to do a midfree now.

[00:31:24]>> How nice is that?

[00:31:29]>> Can you imagine, right? Imagine if I was sitting here now heavily pregnant. I mean, it would have been amazing, but it would have been hard. Imagine if cuz I would have been tired by now. You're tired, aren't you, at the end of this pregnancy? And I would have been close to the end as well. So I would have been like really tired, really struggling trying to carry your bags and come back and forward look after Maisie. I' would have been like, "Oh my god, dying."

[00:31:53]>> For the [music] second child, we had a hairbrained idea to maybe both get pregnant at the same time.

[00:32:00]>> I said to I said to work, I might bring a little squirming human in next week for you all [music] to see. See if anyone does the comment from last time.

[00:32:09]>> Oh, she looks like you.

[00:32:10]>> Oh, she really looks like you. Oh yeah, you're so funny.

[00:32:13]>> You certainly didn't look anything like me. Look like you.

[00:32:17]>> One of the only reasons why Lauren agreed to us doing it at the same time is cuz she never thought it was going to work. And when it worked, I think she was very surprised and [music] kind of a bit like, "Oh my god, look what you've done."

[00:32:33]And see what this one looks like when she comes out.

[00:32:37]You again, hopefully.

[00:32:40]>> Big bonus.

[00:32:41]Mhm.

[00:32:43]>> It was really exciting the thought of having three kids [music] and having the two that were so close together and be like twins but not. Um but yeah, unfortunately that wasn't that wasn't to be and I think that rocked us both a little bit.

[00:32:56]>> And originally we were both pregnant at the same time.

[00:32:59]>> Oh, really?

[00:33:00]>> Yeah. For a short time.

[00:33:01]>> For a short time. [music] Yeah. But then obviously it hasn't hasn't continued.

[00:33:05]>> Um and I think I don't know. We've been through quite a lot of it now. So I don't know. We're kind of at a bit of a crossroads whether to whether to do it again or not. It's cost a lot of money.

[00:33:13]>> Yeah.

[00:33:13]>> And uh it's taken a lot of time and a lot of emotional heartache as well. So I don't know whether or not >> really I [music] want to put myself through it anymore.

[00:33:22]>> Yeah.

[00:33:24]>> When Ra lost [music] hers, I was worried about her obviously because I'm still pregnant and it must must have been really hard for her going through [music] seeing me get bigger and and knowing that she hadn't had that. So yeah, we'll see. We'll see. And also, we've got a new baby coming. I want to concentrate on the new baby for a little while.

[00:33:43]>> Spend time with this little one.

[00:33:45]>> Amazing.

[00:33:46]>> But actually, I think now potentially turned a corner with it. And we've both started [music] to get more excited with the fact that we're going to have have a baby very soon.

[00:33:54]>> And to be quite frank, >> I'm quite career focused. And the thought of being at home, I like being a parent for three kids.

[00:34:02]>> Oh my. No [laughter] way she'll cope.

[00:34:04]>> No way. No way. She get cabin fever.

[00:34:08]would have been a bit crazy. It would have [music] vanished. Yeah, it could have would have.

[00:34:21][music] Yeah.

[00:34:38]>> Oh, baby is coming. Can you please hold first a little bit?

[00:34:42]>> You're nearly there. Nearly there. Okay.

[00:34:45]Okay. [sighs] Wow.

[00:34:53]>> Well done. Well done. Well done, sweetie. For this delivery, I'm planning not to take any uh painkiller uh because I really want to remember the moment.

[00:35:11]Okay, >> you are strong.

[00:35:17]You have been through this four times already.

[00:35:21]This time you doing Yeah. Inshallah, you'd be doing this time again.

[00:35:27]Inshallah, you'll be doing the fifth time, right?

[00:35:31]>> You can do this.

[00:35:32]>> You've done it before, sweetheart.

[00:35:35]>> It's coming. Yeah.

[00:35:36]>> Good girl. You can do it. You breathe through this one.

[00:35:40]>> Not many more to go, sweetie, and then you'll be over. Good girl.

[00:35:44]>> Good girl. Good girl, daddy. Good girl.

[00:35:47]Good girl. Good girl. Good girl. Good girl. Nice breath. Yeah.

[00:35:52]>> Good girl. Nice [clears throat] breath.

[00:35:54]>> Nice breaths.

[00:35:55]>> Okay. Breathe. Oh, >> good girl. Nice. Blow that away. Blow it away.

[00:36:04]>> Good girl.

[00:36:09]>> I'm right here with you. Okay. Allah.

[00:36:13]>> I see the baby in my hand. I see her.

[00:36:17]Then I hope that I can take take care of her in the way that God asked me.

[00:36:26]>> It's coming again.

[00:36:27]>> Okay. Okay. [snorts] >> Please help me.

[00:36:31]>> I will, darling. I will. I I'll be with you, darling. Don't you worry.

[00:36:36]>> We'll do [music] it together. Okay. All three of us.

[00:36:39]>> All three of us.

[00:36:40]>> Thank you.

[00:36:41]>> Okay.

[00:36:43]I hope that I'll be a very good mother and they will be very good children to us.

[00:36:50]>> Sweetheart, you're so far now. You are so far. You're going to have a few tough contractions and then she's going to be here. Okay. Okay. Good girl.

[00:36:59]>> Good girl. I'm just going to watch really closely [music] because often babies like this number fours or fives can come really fast.

[00:37:07]>> Yes.

[00:37:09]>> Deep breath.

[00:37:09]>> Going to push down again. Good girl.

[00:37:11]Keep breathing. And again. Good girl. Do you want to push down again if the pain's coming? Good girl.

[00:37:19]Good girl. And again if he's coming.

[00:37:21]Good girl. Well done. Well done.

[00:37:30]>> Well done. Well done. Oh, hello baby.

[00:37:33]There we come. Hello, baby. There she is.

[00:37:39]There she is.

[00:37:42]You did it. Hello.

[00:37:45]>> Hello, mommy.

[00:37:48]>> Hello.

[00:37:50]>> Welcome to the war, little woman.

[00:37:53]>> You did amazing.

[00:37:54]>> Yeah.

[00:37:58]>> All the right.

[00:38:03]The moment baby is born, I'm [music] whisper the first word into into our baby's ears. Uh which is the name of God.

[00:38:14]>> Alhamdulillah.

[00:38:17]>> Baby, the God [music] give you um happiness into the life.

[00:38:24]That's the meaning of the whisper.

[00:38:26]>> Okay, let's go and see how big you are.

[00:38:30]Okay, here it goes. There we are. Okay.

[00:38:34]>> I thought she looked bigger than your others. Definitely.

[00:38:37]>> It's your noisiest. Your biggest [laughter] noisiest.

[00:38:40]>> Yeah.

[00:38:44][music] >> Baby.

[00:38:50]>> I think it's a very miracle when I I got the baby.

[00:38:56]>> I think the baby is the most miracle things that [music] God give to us to all the people. Yeah. Can you recite here?

[00:39:04]>> Yeah. Cool. Well done. Look at that. You did amazing, Ada. Amazing.

[00:39:14]>> Enjoy. I'll see you. I'll pop in tomorrow if I get chance.

[00:39:17]>> Okay. Take care. God bless. Bye.

[00:39:25]It's nice that if I get delayed at work, like if I have one [music] of my couples, my mom's having a baby and she's just about to deliver as I'm a dude to leave work. I don't want to leave cuz I want to, you know, you can't you can't walk out then, could you?

[00:39:37]>> I might as well [music] clean it while it's sitting here.

[00:39:39]>> Yeah, >> I can stay now. I don't have to rush home to a school run or to pick them up from something. They're actually all adults and they're all fine. I actually can stay. And sometimes they're texting me and going, "Mom, where are you?

[00:39:51][laughter] You were supposed to be home like 2 3 hours ago.

[00:40:07][laughter] Massive.

[00:40:12]It's a large size male with pockets in it.

[00:40:19][music] But it's not actually that big.

[00:40:23][laughter] Loving the purple look.

[00:40:31]It's the top pocket. It's my personal favorite.

[00:40:38]Is that a door knock?

[00:40:39]>> Yeah.

[00:40:40]>> Yeah.

[00:40:42]>> You ready?

[00:40:42]>> Yep. Yep.

[00:40:44]>> This second baby is really important to our family. I'm not going to say it completes our family because we're hoping that we may be able to have a third.

[00:40:51]>> So, we'll help you move your legs cuz they might already be a little bit on the heavy side. That's it. Relax them down. There we go.

[00:40:58]>> I would still like to have a genetic child, but if it doesn't happen, I feel extremely fortunate that I have got two children um that I love. I don't even have the second child yet, but I will love massively and I have a family and feel very fortunate for that.

[00:41:13]>> Did you sleep very well? No, no, we neither neither of them have had a very good [music] night's sleep.

[00:41:18]>> That's often the way the reason why you feel a bit cuz you're actually tired.

[00:41:23]Have another child who keeps getting out of bed [music] and who's been up since 5:00 this morning. So, >> people have asked us quite a few times, does she call you mama mommy? And we said we were never going to do that. It would always be whatever she sort of came up with.

[00:41:39]>> Oh, bye.

[00:41:42]>> It's just mom and other mommy, isn't it?

[00:41:44]Mom, another mommy.

[00:41:44]>> If she if she says mommy and gets the wrong one, she'll be like, "No, not you.

[00:41:48]Other mommy."

[00:41:49]>> Yeah.

[00:41:49]>> And that's just And that makes us laugh.

[00:41:53]>> We're both her parents and to her that is just the most normal thing in the world.

[00:42:00]>> How long does it take to get her out?

[00:42:02]>> Normally only a few minutes.

[00:42:04]>> Have they started?

[00:42:05]>> Yeah. Oh, these should be here in a minute. Any minute.

[00:42:16]>> Right. Quite a bit of pushing now. This is to get the little one out.

[00:42:29]>> There we go.

[00:42:35]There we go. Congratulations.

[00:42:39]>> Oh my gosh. Hello.

[00:42:47]>> Did you want to cut the cord? Yeah.

[00:42:49]Yeah. So, if I give you that. So, if you cut just above that clamp. I'll keep my hand there so you [music] won't get babies. So, just that side. They're quite tough.

[00:42:57]>> Yeah.

[00:42:59]>> That's it. Lovely.

[00:43:02]We're pretty normal really. We're two girls, but we're pretty normal.

[00:43:04]>> What is normal though? There's so many different makeups of families. What is normal?

[00:43:09][music] Look at those little [music] arms.

[00:43:19]Your sister's going to love you.

[00:43:22]>> There couldn't be more my children.

[00:43:24]They're my family. If L and I hadn't been together, they wouldn't be [music] here. So, I might not have the uh [laughter] I might not have the sperm, but I've got everything else. So, yeah, they're mine.