Traditions & Culture can ruin your Relationship? (🇵🇭 Philippines Edition)

Added: 2026-06-05

[00:00:00]Today's video, it's about what?

[00:00:02]Traditions, culture, how it can ruin your relationship.

[00:00:06]>> I'm really surprised.

[00:00:08]I like I I saw one post that there's one foreigner who asked about uh he wants to come here in the Philippines and get married and he's expecting that the one who will shoulder the expenses of their wedding is the Filipina's family.

[00:00:28]>> really believe that or was he kind of joking? No, it's not a joke because it was like um because he's asking because he said that in in in in the US like North America, really. I mean, Canada and the US are both >> Yeah. US in in Canada. No, US in Canada.

[00:00:48]Uh he said that the bride family family will pay the wedding.

[00:00:55]Generally, that's the case, right? The bride's It's like a tradition. The bride's family takes care of the expenses. Generally. I'm not I'm not saying every time, but generally that's the thing. Like all my growing up days.

[00:01:05]Mhm.

[00:01:07]That's why I asked him, "Is this really true?" And I said, "Yep."

[00:01:14]>> [laughter] >> I said, "Fork it over."

[00:01:18]"Reimburse me." I was like, "Oh my goodness." That's why I said, "Oh my goodness, Mahal, I'm sorry. I don't have money to pay the >> [laughter] >> But you you went on say like the the Are you sure with me that um the comment, right? And And that comment they were saying sometimes you need common sense, which is true. I mean, I didn't expect that, Mahal. I came over here I I didn't expect you to pay for anything. Yeah.

[00:01:42]>> You know, I I was just expecting me to take care of whatever I had to take care of to make things work.

[00:01:48]That's all I thought. So, that's where the common sense comes in, right? You don't bring your Canadian or US tradition over here and expect it to don't the same.

[00:01:56]>> [laughter] >> I could give you another example. I talked to you off camera, but like in my first marriage again, part of the tradition that I knew growing up is like the guy buys the girl the ring, and the girl buys the guy the ring, and that's been kind of my tradition growing up. And in [snorts] my uh talking to my wife at the time uh I would I give hints, "Oh, I like this kind of ring, and this is the kind of ring I would prefer. Just very simple."

[00:02:25]That sort of thing. I was explaining the kind of ring I like because with the anticipation she was buying my ring as I was buying her ring as we were talking about it, that sort of thing. So, you know >> buy Did you buy the ring? This is the point, see? Like even there um it came to the wedding day, okay? And I'm in the back room with my best man in the back room of the church, you say, right?

[00:02:50]And as I'm sitting in the back room of the church with my best man from the front of the church I hear this ghostly scream. Like >> [screaming] >> I worse than that, but I'm just trying to give you an example. It was way worse than that.

[00:03:06]>> [laughter] >> A way a curdling scream. I don't know how to put it in words. Anyway, that sort of thing.

[00:03:10]>> and everybody can hear? Oh my goodness.

[00:03:12]Every- Everybody was sitting there waiting for the wedding to start, staring up at the platform.

[00:03:18]>> and the scream was like curdling scream.

[00:03:21]And like so so we're in the back back room waiting to come out, and we both stood up and I'm like, "What in the world just happened?" And my friend said, "You just wait here. I said, "I'll go out and check it out." And then I'm like, "Okay." I'm pacing the floor back there now. Like I don't know what in the world just happened. And he comes back in a few minutes later and said, "Do you have the ring?" I said, "Ring? What ring?"

[00:03:42]>> [laughter] >> I said I I thought she had my ring, you know? Cuz again, the tradition was I even asked someone after after a close relative after. I said, "Did I do the wrong thing? Is it is generally like the the woman buys the guy's ring, the guy buys the woman's ring?" And my relative said, "Yeah, generally speaking." Cuz that was the tradition we've had all all the growing up, you know, what we understood. And even in conversations that I had with my son's mother at the time like my wife at the time or before we got married, I even said basically suggesting like what kind of ring are you getting me? This is the kind of ring I'll get you.

[00:04:18]And so I was even under the impression that she was buying my ring and I was buying her ring. But come wedding day, moments before vows, >> What is the ring?

[00:04:31]>> uh Well, oh yeah, what happened at that time was um my my brother-in-law who was at the wedding, I said, "Well, I said, can you just go to the nearest place to buy the bit cheapest ring you can possibly buy?"

[00:04:44]And he went zoom zoom zoom zoom, got me a ring. And uh that was the ring that I had.

[00:04:53]So it happened like within minutes of me getting buying a ring and then paying my brother-in-law back. Oh my goodness.

[00:05:02]>> [gasps] >> Anyways, so that's kind of like under the tradition. It's not exact same tradition, but it's kind of like that, right? You have traditions and you expect certain things. Now over here I don't I didn't expect like I didn't expect you to buy my ring. I didn't expect you to you or your family to pay for the wedding, you know, I didn't expect that, right?

[00:05:20]Different traditions and what you expect in your own culture, you don't really expect in someone else's culture as such.

[00:05:27]>> I never expect that the US and Canada is they have that kind of tradition.

[00:05:32]Really?

[00:05:32]>> Because yes.

[00:05:33]>> was a real surprise to you?

[00:05:34]>> Yes. That's why that's why I messaged you like is this really true? Did who who paid the your wedding expenses?

[00:05:43]>> [laughter] >> And then if you talk about my weddings, it was pretty it was a pretty low low cost event. I don't think there was much spent really. It's it's really surprised me, Mahal. Oh my goodness, I never never expect that that you have that kind of tradition. That's why I say sorry, that sorry is from the bottom of my heart.

[00:06:05]No, but I didn't expect it in any way, shape or form. So, I don't know why you're saying so sorry.

[00:06:10]>> usually usually here in the Philippines when when it comes to the tradition, it's the groom who will pay everything for the wedding.

[00:06:20]Well, you know, in our comments now, we might get a whole lot of different comments saying, well, it's not really like you're saying and because maybe it's not like the same everywhere, but this is the way I grew up knowing it and all my life and I'm in I grew up in Canada and I I know a lot of people who believe the same way in the US. So, I'm just saying in a general sense. I'm not saying it's applied to everybody and there are exceptions no doubt, but I'm just saying a general rule and that's what a lot of people do think that way.

[00:06:48]Oh my goodness, Mahal. And also here in the Philippines when it comes to wedding and you will buy a ring, both of you will decide what kind of ring. Yeah, I'm sure that happens back home too, but it was >> Together. Yeah. Yeah, except the engagement ring.

[00:07:07]Yeah, but engagement ring here is not that much important.

[00:07:13]Yeah, it's just the new uh what is that?

[00:07:17]Imitating We're just imitating to the Western culture that before you marry me or in the drama. Well, that's interesting to me that you say that because to me like when I was trying to get you, of course, I couldn't get you the engagement ring first. So, I called it a promise ring and it was so important to me, but like you're saying here now, it wasn't even important to you. But to me, it was so important, Mahal. And to me it's like it was very important. Kind of makes me sad that you didn't even think it was important cuz to me it was so important.

[00:07:50]Because you guys broke off the the the the engagement, Mahal. You can break the engagement. Yeah, but to me I don't think that way. I'm thinking it's the beginning of our relationship and it's like a first sign of commitment. And I'm not thinking like that. I'm thinking the full stretch of the relationship and this is the beginning and it was so important.

[00:08:10]Yeah, I'm really surprised. Oh my goodness. Like oh.

[00:08:16]This new to me, Mahal. Really 100% new to me. I'm really surprised. Like when I I read the the confession or the the questions from the the expat like he really say that I'm I expecting that the that my fiance's family will you know, like he say no, in the Philippines you have to pay all the expenses because you're the foreigner.

[00:08:42]>> [laughter] >> No one trying to carry over that tradition from back home to here is pretty stupid, I think.

[00:08:48]I mean you talk about common sense. That's the that's the very grassroots of common sense. I mean you know your culture.

[00:08:55]Anyone coming here got a general idea of your culture and knowing that the family's not going to pay for some foreigner to get married to their daughter. I mean the guy must have been pretty stupid, wasn't he?

[00:09:08]>> [laughter] >> I don't know. It's her according to her research. The tradition there's also a tradition in the US. But in the confession he the the guy will the guy never state the tradition in the US.

[00:09:26]Yeah, he just say like I'm um do I need to pay uh the expenses blah blah blah blah.

[00:09:34]Yeah, but he never mentioned the tradition way back in the US.

[00:09:39]>> Yeah, and from what you told me his age was even a bit older again, so the tradition would be even more set in his mind.

[00:09:46]>> Yeah. Even than someone younger. Maybe someone younger don't even have the traditions anymore. I'm not even sure anymore, but like someone older for sure would definitely have that set in their mind for that kind of a tradition, right? So.

[00:09:58]>> You're expecting like um if uh some even say like you're ex- uh You're not You don't expect that the the brides will will pay the expenses. Bride's family.

[00:10:13]>> Yeah, the bride's family will pay the expenses if if you just married a poor family. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[00:10:19]What are you thinking?

[00:10:21]What are you thinking?

[00:10:22]>> Yeah.

[00:10:22]>> [laughter] >> Like I In in my like Now I'm thinking about celebrities in in who married a foreigner. I don't think they also pay their wedding because of course they they they got married with a millionaire um What's that guy?

[00:10:46]And they will pay?

[00:10:50]She will pay? The brides will pay? No, I don't think so.

[00:10:53]Yeah. In in in this generation, I don't think so. No, I mean I Yeah, because Filipina will never agree >> [laughter] >> that they will spend millions of you know peso just to have their their wedding like they shoulder all the expenses. No, it's not that.

[00:11:16]And just just like um I I know someone that they agree into 50/50. Okay, you will pay for the You will You will pay for the photographer.

[00:11:29]Uh you will pay for the food, and I will pay for the How is that? The the wedding gown and the bride's gown. Yeah. Yeah, that's it.

[00:11:41]Well, it's 50/50.

[00:11:42]Well, if if you if you think about when I was asking you a question a little while ago, you might understand my thinking because we went to a wedding just recently. It was a big wedding, right? I didn't call that a big wedding, would you?

[00:11:54]Uh, not that really. Wow, it didn't seem like a big wedding to me.

[00:11:58]>> not a Big wedding to me is like they will put some lechon cow there, grilled cow. That's a big You're just talking about what you eat.

[00:12:09]I'm talking about how many people showed up. Seemed like a big wedding.

[00:12:13]>> that is not the big wedding. No, that is not the big wedding.

[00:12:16]>> [laughter] >> It looked like a big wedding to me. It's not a big wedding. Anyhow, what I thought [laughter] was a big wedding we attended, seemed like a big wedding even by my standards. It seemed like a big wedding. And I'm I asked her, I said, "So, who pays for all this?" Cuz in my mind, I'm thinking, "Okay, the parent of the bride is paying for this." That's what I was thinking, see, when I asked you. I said, "Who's paying for all this?" And you said, "Of course they will." Or or her husband will or something. What'd you say?

[00:12:41]>> Her husband will.

[00:12:42]>> It's the it's the groom. It's it's definitely the And I'm like, "Oh, okay."

[00:12:46]>> the the groom because that groom is already an orphan.

[00:12:50]And he's the eldest in the family. Okay, well, that's but that's the reason I asked because like in my mind, I'm thinking, "Okay, like what like this traditional kind of wedding back home, the bride's family >> Not the bride, the bride's family. No, no, Mahal. No. Imagine like Yeah, I understand now, but that's what I was thinking. I was just curious who was who was paying for it because at the time, I mean, I didn't know all your >> Imagine before she get married, uh, she said that uh, she she was in an LDR.

[00:13:19]Right? And then she said, "I think I have more money than him."

[00:13:24]>> [laughter] >> In the LDR? Yeah, in the LDR. Like was a turn off for her apparently. I think.

[00:13:30]>> a turn off. Yes, yes.

[00:13:33]She will never get married if if the guy is not stable. That guy has a farm.

[00:13:38]Um The guy she did marry. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:13:40]>> That guy has his own house and lot.

[00:13:44]Yes.

[00:13:45]And minimum wage and >> standards, why did you marry me?

[00:13:49]>> [laughter] >> That's the That's the question mark. No, it's not. It's love. Oh, that's nice.

[00:13:57]>> Yeah.

[00:13:58]Cuz I have nothing left. Absolutely nothing left. You get married when we have nothing. Can you imagine that?

[00:14:04]>> Well, we had more than what we have now.

[00:14:06]Well, I mean now when we got married, but when we came together, we had more than we had now. But now I have nothing.

[00:14:12]I mean my house burned down. I literally have nothing.

[00:14:14]>> That's true for for love. Imagine that my I will never leave you. Never? Never.

[00:14:19]>> it on video.

[00:14:21]>> [laughter] >> So that that that is why and like [snorts] um Imagine that >> what is that thing? Whatever was crawling on me, was like red and black.

[00:14:34]It looked dangerous. It was crawling up my leg. Oh. Es- especially in this kind of um uh generation. Yeah.

[00:14:46]Um if if you went through a traumatic relationship uh usually the girl will uh settle for uh the girl the girl will never settle for less.

[00:15:01]She always wants the guy to make more.

[00:15:03]Yes. Yeah. Again, I'm sorry.

[00:15:05]>> least no, at least um can level to her standards.

[00:15:10]>> Yeah. But when we met I guess were you kind of thinking along those lines too? Like maybe like oh, he's okay. He's you know, he's got his job and he's going to Were you kind of thinking sim- similar with me at the beginning? You said a girl generally will look for someone who may either makes more or is on par with them. So I said, were you thinking that when you met me? Uh no, I don't.

[00:15:35]That's good.

[00:15:36]>> [laughter] >> I don't because >> I survive.

[00:15:39]>> During during in the LDR you already uh put in your personal in your profile.

[00:15:47]>> I was poor.

[00:15:48]>> Yeah.

[00:15:48]>> Yeah.

[00:15:48]You already put there. And then my my my um prayer is I want a good guy.

[00:15:58]Um even if he's he don't have a lot of money, it's okay. We will make a lot.

[00:16:04]That's my prayer. Yeah. And I already told him about that.

[00:16:09]Yeah. She said that many times.

[00:16:11]>> Yeah. In details. My prayer is always details and God give me what I prayed for.

[00:16:18]>> Yeah, but currently recording on my phone which is cracked and smashed in the corner. I can't afford to buy a new one.

[00:16:27]So she got her desire.

[00:16:29]>> [laughter] >> You guys just can't tell because you see the end result of the video, but we're recording on a very cracked smashed phone at the moment. All mine ended up like that since I came to the Philippines. I have an iPad, it's smashed. I have another iPad, it has a crack. I have another phone that had to be replaced because replaced uh front you know screen and stuff because it got cracked. Every one of them smashed when I came out of the Philippines. But all my life all my phones perfect until I came to the Philippines.

[00:16:57]I don't know what happened there.

[00:17:00]Anyway, Tom but we're you need to wrap up I guess about cultures and how they can ruin your relationship.

[00:17:08]Expectations.

[00:17:09]>> don't pay your wedding.

[00:17:12]>> [laughter] >> I guess so. Maybe that's the end is it?

[00:17:17]>> [laughter] >> Thanks for watching, guys. God bless everyone. Bless you.

[00:17:22]>> [laughter]