It has always been here this is simply incredible w Taylor #nonduality #awakening

Added: 2026-05-27

[00:00:17][music] I can't hear you though.

[00:00:35]>> Can you hear me now?

[00:00:36]>> Yes.

[00:00:40]>> Very nice to meet you.

[00:00:41]>> Thanks for taking the time.

[00:00:42]>> Thanks for taking the time to speak with me today.

[00:00:46]>> So, tell me your story, Taylor. What got you here? Just get get direct to the point. [laughter] Yeah, >> I'm sure you've heard it all, but basically um started seeking probably 2011 in college. Got introduced to um I grew up in like a Catholic Baptist home. And so I only ever thought that there was monotheistic religions. When I got to college, uh, one of the most interesting classes I took was religion, world religion, because I found out that there are a few that at the time I thought were not really interested um, in having you worship some higher being, but um, sort of like road maps so that you could find peace while you're here.

[00:01:35]>> And that interested me a lot. And so uh um but during that time I sort of had a crisis and I thought that um enlightenment was the only thing that was going to save me from that like no thinking and analyzing and um so yeah but uh so from 2011 to now but it's been intermittently because uh um there's been times in my life where there wasn't stability. So this was not of interest to me. But uh really in the last two years it's very it's picked back up a lot and then voraciously in the past uh 6 months to two months to the point we're now um like let me just let you pan around real quick. I'm in one of my uh forest gardens.

[00:02:30]>> Beautiful.

[00:02:32]And it really just doesn't matter that much anymore. All that matters is uh like I saw a video video of a guy that you had yesterday and he he said it very well that all that is interesting to me is the uh stabilization I guess.

[00:02:51][laughter] And um that's kind of where I am now.

[00:02:55]Yeah.

[00:02:55]>> Yeah.

[00:02:57]That's amazing.

[00:02:59]>> Thank you.

[00:03:04]Oh, you're cutting out. Sorry, Taylor.

[00:03:08]>> Uh, yeah, that's that's pretty much where I am now.

[00:03:11]>> Okay.

[00:03:13]So, who have you listened to before? You know, before, you know, how did you find me and who were you listening to? Yeah.

[00:03:22]just to get to meet you where you're at, you know, and >> well, actually it started probably started with Alan Watts in 2011 like um back then in college I was also having experiences with um >> uh like psilocybin and so I uh I I guess I understood intellectually a long time ago about this oneness thing.

[00:03:45]Um but um yeah, so uh Alan Watts, but I'll get back to the the crisis. Basically, for like eight months, I was sort of like mute and I just could not figure out how to get back into society. like once I found this this oneness thing plus uh learning about um I guess sort of things that are going on right now back then um and back and I just couldn't relate to anyone at all. Um and so I sort of just like for a good close to a year just just was uh super depressed. I couldn't figure out how could I possibly get back integrate myself back into society with um with all this. But Alan Watts, he said something that kind of brought me out of it at the very end was that if you really want to uh become enlightened, then just forget all about it and >> and dive into life. And that's what happened to me for years. And then it just started uh always in the back of my mind. I knew but I guess the last few years and and then just the last recently it's just this is like sort of the only thing that's been mattering to me and um so yeah but in regards to non-duality just everyone but for some reason >> you just uh >> I don't know the I was called to you.

[00:05:19]>> Okay. And earlier you said something that cut out and all I heard was stabilization. Well, what did you say?

[00:05:26]>> I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[00:05:27]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:05:28]>> So, my interest has been sort of like a video that of a guy that you posted yesterday. His >> all that he was interested in is stabilizing in this cuz I've obviously I I can I feel like that I've there's been bouts of just clarity where just fulfillment where nothing nothing at all needs to happen, you know, and then it just comes and goes, I guess. Huh?

[00:05:55]>> Yeah. So what do you without that observation that he comes and goes and what are you without that expectation that it has to stabilize?

[00:06:26]It's just a thought.

[00:06:27]>> Yeah, >> I know. [laughter] I know.

[00:06:32]>> Yeah.

[00:06:35]And it's just the utter simplicity of it, right? Because the the the mind will keep on fabricating narratives after narratives that I am seemingly coming and going. I need to stabilize this. I need to figure this out. So it's always geared towards the next. So what are you without the next thought?

[00:06:52]What are you without buying the next thought? Just to be really simple.

[00:07:04]>> Yeah. It's just it's just what's here.

[00:07:06]>> Yeah.

[00:07:08]>> I know. like and again that's it's just really direct without trying to figure out what's direct. Does that make any sense?

[00:07:22]>> I'm sorry. All right. Could you repeat that?

[00:07:24]>> It's very direct without trying to locate what's direct.

[00:07:31]What's directly here that does not need to be seen as direct?

[00:07:41]What's what's directly here without a language?

[00:07:45]What are you without the language?

[00:07:50][laughter] >> I guess everything that's left.

[00:07:54]>> Yeah.

[00:07:57]With whatever is left, does it have to change?

[00:08:01]Does it have to be altered or can it be altered even?

[00:08:14]>> I don't know.

[00:08:15]>> Yeah.

[00:08:23]>> What are you seeing without words, without labeling?

[00:08:41]>> [laughter] >> I don't know. It's just >> just what's here.

[00:08:48]>> Yeah.

[00:08:49]What's always been here?

[00:08:57]>> Something has always been here.

[00:08:59]>> Yeah.

[00:09:09]So, [laughter] nothing.

[00:09:16]My gosh. is coming from like a serial doer for so many years. Nothing actually has to happen.

[00:09:29]>> Yeah.

[00:09:30]>> Nothing has to happen.

[00:09:31]>> Yeah.

[00:09:32]>> What the heck? [laughter] That's just It's just too simple.

[00:09:50]>> Too simple. Yeah.

[00:09:53]>> Wait. I don't know. [laughter] >> Again, there's nothing to figure out.

[00:10:06]The tra the desire the the figuring out is what is what causes the resistance to what's here.

[00:10:15]>> Exactly. Yeah.

[00:10:17]>> Right. The the >> they're the trying to to know they're trying to get the trying to grasp is the resistance.

[00:10:23]>> The desire is not even real.

[00:10:25]>> Yeah.

[00:10:26]>> Right.

[00:10:27]>> No, it's just the next thought.

[00:10:30]>> Oh my god.

[00:10:32]>> Yeah.

[00:10:37]Neither is belief. Yeah. If you take away the positive feature, where's belief?

[00:10:52]And the next is just a thought.

[00:10:58]What's in between doing and non-doing?

[00:11:16]I haven't laughed in a while. [laughter] >> I laugh so much that it bugs people, you know. I'm [laughter] always laughing at people. Oh.

[00:11:26]>> Oh, man. I hope I hope I hope that I can imitate that.

[00:11:31]going forward.

[00:11:34]>> What are you even without that thought?

[00:11:46]>> But it I I understand, but it still feels like something has to be done. It's like >> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:11:56]It's like an old programming, right?

[00:11:58]because it's always gearing towards the next so that you're overlooking what's here. So it will come up with well there's still something's missing or >> there's something that I need to figure out. There's something that I need to attain. Um and it will just keep on coming keep on coming. But what if you meet those words with with indifference with silence?

[00:12:20]They're just words.

[00:12:23]Think of a word that's not made up.

[00:12:33]Is it do you meet the meet this with silence even when there is a lot of chatter going on?

[00:12:39]>> Well, there's no conscious way of meeting it in silence. It's just silence. Silence. Yeah.

[00:12:45]>> Yeah.

[00:12:46]It's just what's directly here is silent.

[00:12:57]It is.

[00:12:58]>> It does. Yeah. It doesn't include a doing or a non-doing.

[00:13:07][clears throat] >> Gosh.

[00:13:13]And I'm just like you always voraciously reading everything, right?

[00:13:17]>> Mhm.

[00:13:18]>> I was trying to figure out everything.

[00:13:21]And what I was just doing was just really maintaining the seeking. I was reinforcing it over and over and over again.

[00:13:28]>> Mhm.

[00:13:29]>> Kind of like what Alan Watt said, right?

[00:13:30]Is forget about it.

[00:13:32]>> Yes. Because >> any attempt to do even subtly is like driving it.

[00:13:43]>> Yeah.

[00:13:44]>> Driving the resistance.

[00:13:46]>> So all it really >> It's just like a Chinese finger trap.

[00:13:50]had enough of those. Right. The more that you resist, right?

[00:13:53]>> Yeah.

[00:13:57]So, actually, I've already been not resisting.

[00:14:07]Just >> what do you mean without that?

[00:14:14]>> What's here? Sometimes resists still.

[00:14:16]>> Yeah. Yeah. But what's a common denominator of I resisting I'm not resisting and if you see that that the fabricated eye will keep on maintain itself over and over again what do I do what do I need not to do you know what do I need to see >> and and and if you take away the it's just a process of elimination what are you without that I thought >> but it's like it feels like it's so ingrained that like how can this go on?

[00:14:49]>> Yeah.

[00:14:49]>> Including the body without >> but what do you what do you if you take away the past or the future?

[00:14:55]>> Do you believe that?

[00:14:57]>> If I take away the past >> or the future, where's that belief that it's so ingrained?

[00:15:01]>> Oh, it it only exists there. Right. The the person the character only also exists when thinking is occurring.

[00:15:09]>> That's right. Yeah.

[00:15:11]>> So, >> and it's always here. It's always here.

[00:15:14]Right. But the thinking keeps on trying to navigate.

[00:15:17]>> It's almost like this.

[00:15:18]>> It's like this back and forth, back and forth. Past, future, past, future. If you go flip it vertically, right?

[00:15:26]>> Mhm.

[00:15:27]>> Where's the past in the future? Where are you?

[00:15:33]Where's your mind?

[00:15:54]So all this can go on without effort.

[00:15:57]>> Yeah.

[00:16:02]Gosh.

[00:16:05]I don't try to do or not do anymore, right? Because at one point I was like, "So which one is it? One teacher is saying do >> and the other person saying no, not non-doing."

[00:16:14]>> Uh-huh. Yeah. So there's really no distinction between >> It's they're both thoughts.

[00:16:20]>> Decision and happening. Decision and action.

[00:16:23]>> Yeah.

[00:16:28]Again, let's just let's just go direct to the point, right? If every single word is made up, then everything that you think, hear, and know about this is also made up.

[00:16:37]It's made up all the way down.

[00:16:41]You can go a rabbit hole of thinking. It will just be more made up.

[00:16:47]>> This seems This seems real.

[00:16:50]>> Yeah.

[00:16:50]>> To me.

[00:16:51]>> Yeah. Yeah. What's between real and not real?

[00:16:56]>> Just what's here.

[00:16:57]>> That's exactly what it is. But you the moment that we label it as real or unreal then we have a um a preconditioned memory of what's real or not real and then we just assumed so I'm thinking now that this is real I'm not saying that it's not real or real because that's just what I thought right >> when there's a direct you know for example does a does a toddler have to distinguish if this is real or not real Or [laughter] again, the tendency of of the seekers to try to see everything as an illusion.

[00:17:37]>> But the one that's trying to see that it's an illusion is also an illusion.

[00:17:53]So there's nothing to do.

[00:17:56]>> Well, what's between doing and not doing? Yeah.

[00:18:14]>> It's like the thoughts keep trying to figure it out >> and that's what it will do because that's just but it's still a thought.

[00:18:23]If thoughts are all made up so even trying to figure it out is simply just a thought.

[00:18:29]And if you go really directly to the thought, it's just made up of words.

[00:18:34]Words are made up of alphabets. They're all just fabrications.

[00:18:39]Think of a word that's not made up. I'm just really going direct.

[00:18:45]>> Mhm. I'm just going going going for the juggler of what's really obvious, right?

[00:18:50]So everything that I'm saying is made up. Everything that you're thinking is made up. And we can go around and around and around and make makebelieve language. But if we But what are you without language?

[00:19:27]you whatever this is, I don't know.

[00:19:30]>> Yeah. And no one knows because all the tool that everyone knows is just language. So they're just making up stuff, >> you know, unconsciously, right? It's like people are talking about this non-stop >> and as if they know it, but but at the same token, you'll hear that non-duality is unknowable. It's unthinkable. You can't really express it. Yet there's so much talks about it.

[00:19:53]>> Mhm.

[00:19:56]So what's between knowing and not knowing?

[00:20:07]>> Just what's here.

[00:20:08]>> Yeah.

[00:20:11][laughter] So I could never res there was no one here to ever resist or >> or not resist >> not resist.

[00:20:27]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:20:32][laughter] Like I feel like for in intellectually I've heard that for so long, but I mean it's just without thought.

[00:20:51]>> Yeah.

[00:20:53][laughter] >> I remember those days, you know, and I'm like, I can't seem to understand what they're talking about.

[00:21:02]Yeah. Gosh, what's all that about? I mean, gosh. But the individual experience has been a beautiful thing.

[00:21:13]>> Yeah.

[00:21:14]>> So, Oh. So, it's there's nothing wrong with that. No.

[00:21:38]>> [laughter] >> Thank you.

[00:21:45]>> You're welcome. [laughter] >> I didn't do anything.

[00:21:52]>> I know. I know. [laughter] Gosh.

[00:22:00]Oh my gosh. There's just been so much like hullaloo for just I mean Noah Yeah, sure. The be the individual experience was beautiful, but like that's all it was ever there for.

[00:22:15]>> Yeah.

[00:22:19]Very Gosh, [laughter] it's crazy.

[00:22:27]Unbelievable, huh?

[00:22:29]>> Yeah.

[00:22:29]>> Yeah.

[00:22:30]>> Truly.

[00:22:38]>> So there's there's nothing wrong.

[00:22:41]>> No.

[00:22:41]>> Gosh.

[00:22:42]>> I can't remember feeling Yeah. Yeah.

[00:22:44]That too. But I can't remember feeling that. I've been living with this feeling that just of of a constant unease to various degrees.

[00:22:57]>> Yeah.

[00:22:58]>> And it's just it's just whatever's happening.

[00:23:07]>> Yeah. It's like you're carrying this conceptual backpack full of rocks that you've been carrying around and then you know what it's almost like oh I don't have to carry that. [laughter] >> Yeah. How amazing.

[00:23:24]>> Yeah.

[00:23:28]>> How amazing.

[00:23:29]>> Yeah.

[00:23:29]>> Um >> and there's nothing to add. There's nothing to deduct anymore, right? It's just clear. Um there's nothing really to figure out you know it's it's so simple and and be before you say well how do I maintain this well what are you without the next >> I know Yeah.

[00:24:06]Incredible.

[00:24:13]>> So simple.

[00:24:22]It's like, what do you even talk about now?

[00:24:24]>> I know. I know. Well, you know what? I'm going to suggest that um you walk around and then I'm going to book you another session because you have 30 minutes left and you don't have to pay. So, we can do a follow-up. Save you a bit of money, too.

[00:24:42]>> Oh, that that's fantastic. But I I love to continue to support your channel in regards Oh, thank you. just in general.

[00:24:50]So, >> thank you. I love doing what I do, right? Because it's so simple and it's just so, you know, so um natural.

[00:24:59][snorts] >> I mean, it's just incredible, right?

[00:25:07]>> Yeah.

[00:25:11]>> Well, thank you so much.

[00:25:12]>> You're welcome. You're welcome, Taylor.

[00:25:14]I'm going to stop recording here and uh Okay.