Clerks: Why Randal was Right About Everything (Sorry Dante)

Added: 2026-05-25

[00:00:00]Here comes Rand. He's a berserker.

[00:00:06]>> We all recall the story of a hapless guy who goes into work on what should have been his day off, only to be faced with a love triangle, the death of his ex, the unusual decision to play an impromptu game of hockey on the roof, and a horrific bathroom mixup.

[00:00:26]It >> wasn't me.

[00:00:29]You're right. Who was it then, Randall?

[00:00:31]>> Which left his other ex with severe trauma. A film which would spawn the top tier catchphrases. I'm not even supposed to be here today. This job would be great if it wasn't for the [ __ ] customers. And who could forget 37.

[00:00:47]In my experience, there is no situation good or bad which can't be improved by watching clerks. And I've wanted to make a video about this film for a while, but I wasn't sure where to begin. But when I learned that Kevin Smith had originally intended to play the role of Ransel Graves himself, but realized he would be too busy, so instead took on the slightly less demanding role of Silent Bob.

[00:01:11]>> You know, there's a million fine looking women in the world do, but they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of them just cheat on you.

[00:01:17]>> I started to think about how important Randall was to the story and how in spite of his many personality flaws, he was pretty much right about everything.

[00:01:27]So, let's travel back to 1994.

[00:01:30]Not literally, because it really was 1994. YouTube didn't exist, so you won't be able to watch this video. This is just an imaginationbased game. Let's go.

[00:01:43]>> I don't know how many times I've seen Clerks, but it's a lot. And I know just how much people care about the characters. So, to mitigate anyone coming at me in the comments, I feel the need to point out that I have a parasocial relationship with protagonist Dante Hicks. I was devastated by the events of Clerks 3, and I was really excited when Brian O'Haleran made a guest appearance to talk about Dante on Smiling Friends. But this video is about Randall. As like Randall, I find myself becoming increasingly frustrated with Dante's antics. So, with this caveat, I will be reading Dante's filth throughout the course of this video.

[00:02:34]>> Oh, Randall, cuz I'm [ __ ] tired.

[00:02:39]>> Dante's problem is that he can't stand up for himself. As Randall says, he buckles like a belt, and his inability to say no to his boss is the setup for the whole film. Dante was legitimately on his day off, and he had plans for a hockey game. He would have been well within his rights to refuse to go in, or he could have lied and said he was too sick to work. He had spent the whole night asleep in his wardrobe because he didn't have the gumption to move his dog off his bed. So, this wouldn't have been completely dishonest. However, having made the decision to show up, he could have just tried to make the best of it.

[00:03:18]But instead, he spent the whole day whining about his misfortune to Randel.

[00:03:24]>> What the hell's your problem?

[00:03:26]>> This life?

[00:03:27]>> This life?

[00:03:28]>> Why do I have this life?

[00:03:29]>> In contrast, Randall likes his job. He enjoys watching videos and spending all day chatting to Dante. Whi isn't what you might call a model employee. He does have a pretty sad attitude to life in general, which I will discuss more in this video.

[00:03:51]I have done a few customer service jobs in my time and whilst most customers are okay, some of them are real dicks. The social contract between them and Ramanzel is they are supposed to just pay him for video rentals and late fees and occasionally ask him to request videos which aren't already in the store. That's it. Yet sometimes he's asked to do things that go way above his pay grade. And whilst his retribution is often disproportionate, he always has his reasons. For example, there's a lady who asks him if the videos are any good, which is a stupid question because whether films are good or not is often subjective and is influenced very much by the viewers's personal preference.

[00:04:37]I'm sure that there are a few misguided souls walking the earth who don't think the Venture Brothers or Clarks for that matter are any good. If they asked me to recommend media without providing an adequate explanation as to what genres they find interesting or entertaining, I would doubt this to give them inappropriate advice. So when the lady asked Randall for recommendations, she was already on shaky ground. Secondly, Randall is a shop assistant, and whilst he is shown to hold strong opinions about The Return of the Jedi, I'm pretty sure that his job description doesn't include him making film recommendations.

[00:05:16]If the lady wanted to know which video to rent, she could have either spoke to friends who already know her taste in movies or reads a film review in the newspaper so she would know which titles to look out for. Whilst Ramsel's reaction is extreme, a big part of me agrees with his decision to banner from RST video.

[00:05:36]>> Screw you.

[00:05:41]>> Hey, you're not allowed to RENT HERE ANYMORE. OW.

[00:05:44]>> Another situation is the young mom who interrupts Randall's phone call to ask him to order in Happy Scrappy Hero Pop for her little girl, prompting Randel to continue his phone call where he requested a long list of adult movies in front of them, much to the mom's disgust. Randel's behavior is a lot more difficult to justify than the previous situation, but I'm going to give it a go. The young mom could clearly see that Ramsel was on the phone, most likely doing something workrelated, which could have well been time-sensitive. She could have just browsed the store whilst waiting for him to finish up the phone call. She didn't look like she was in a particular rush, but instead she chose to interrupt him whilst he was busy. As whilst Randel could have explained to the person on the phone that he had a customer and he will call back in five minutes, he simply proceeded to complete the activity which he had already started before she interrupted him.

[00:06:42]Anecdotally, actor Jeff Anderson refused to read out the adult movie titles in front of the little girl as the original script had the little girl repeating back one of the titles to him, which would have made the scene so much worse.

[00:06:56]So, everyone involved knew how deeply wrong this scene was. But the scene gives the important message that customers should be aware that customer service staff are not at their beck and call and that the customer most certainly is not always right. Which brings me on to my next point.

[00:07:18]>> For all the hilarity and clerks, the film contains a very serious philosophical debate. Dante and Randall are at loggerheads about how much autonomy they hold over their own lives.

[00:07:31]Dante believes he has very little, especially in his professional life. A sentiment which Randall wholeheartedly disagrees with. This disagreement is brought into sharp contrast when a customer interrupts Randall and Dante's conversation to talk about the contents of a tabloid newspaper. The newspaper contains a series of outlandish and unbelievable stories. So, the man has two choices. Read it for his own entertainment, then talk about the stories with his friends and family, or write the letter of complaints the newspaper's editor, or he could just ignore the newspaper entirely and get on with his life. But instead, he chose to burden Dante and Randall with the unnecessary emotional labor of listening to him talking [ __ ] And from Randall's perspective, he would go on to react appropriately by gobbing a mouthful of water at him.

[00:08:28]>> I don't remember one time in his >> I'm going to BREAK YOUR [ __ ] HEAD, YOU [ __ ] CHILD.

[00:08:35]>> I'm sorry. He meant to hit me.

[00:08:36]>> Yes, it was hilarious, but people have been fired for way less than that. But Randall proves that his job title hadn't created a mental force field around him.

[00:08:46]He wasn't prevented from doing things way outside of his job description should the mood take him. Thus proving Dante's point moot. But Dante also exhibits some major hypocrisy here.

[00:09:00]During the course of his shift, Dante is guilty of dereliction of duty on two occasions. when he and Randall leave the quick stop and RST video to go to Julie Dwer's wake and play hockey on the roof.

[00:09:14]In spite of his protests, Dante's behavior indicates that deep down he knows that title doesn't dictate behavior. And to Randel's credit, he calls him out in it. But I promise to read Dante to fil in this video, and I feel like I haven't really fulfilled my promise yet. So, this brings me neatly on to Dan's love life.

[00:09:44]>> Hey, try not to suck any dick on the way through the parking lot.

[00:09:48]>> Hey, hey, you get back here.

[00:09:50]>> Dante is currently involved in a love triangle, and he is torn between his current girlfriend, Veronica, and his ex from a few years ago, Caitlyn. We find out early on that Veronica is a supportive presence in Dante's life, rescuing him from an anti-smoking mob, bringing him a lasagna for lunch. And according to Jay, she once changed his tire. At the beginning of the film, the only criticism that could be leveled at Peronica is her insistence that Dante goes back to university to improve his employment opportunities. But since Dante is constantly complaining about working at the quick stop, I don't see this as a bad thing at all. But all of this changes when the couple discussed their respective sexual histories. And we learned that Veronica's number of past partners dwarfs that of the average 22-year-old American woman by a large amount.

[00:10:46]>> 37. My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks >> in a row. This causes Dante a considerable amount of distress, and he and Veronica have a massive argument.

[00:10:57]I'm sure that out of the people watching this video, some will think that they wouldn't want to date somebody with such a large number of past partners, whilst other people will think they aren't really that bothered because it was a thing of the past. But at least at first, Dante is really upset by the 37 number. Because the past is immutable, Dante can't simply shout at Veronica and hope the 37 issue goes away. So, he will need to figure out what to do. He can either come to terms with the thought of 37 guys or break up with Veronica so that they can both find happiness elsewhere.

[00:11:35]But this is where I get really annoyed with Dante.

[00:11:43]I bet the most frequent topic of arguments is Caitlyn Bri.

[00:11:46]>> You win. I'm >> going to offer you some advice, my friend. Let the past be the past. Forget Caitlyn Bri.

[00:11:51]>> Veronica says that she has never cheated on Dante, and I believe her. She moved university to be closer to him and spends her time doing helpful things to support him. However, he has spent the past few months slightly attempting to patch things up with Caitlyn. Caitlyn and Dante were together back in high school. During their relationship, Caitlyn cheated on Dante at least eight and a half times. The half being a mixup in the dark and bedroom with chess team Alan Harris. It isn't always the case, but I like to think that the best indicator for future behavior is past behavior. And if 18-year-old Caitlyn cheated on Dante eight and a half times and was trying to patch things up with Dante when she was dating Asian design major Sang, my guess that her number might be even higher than Veronica's 37 with the added bonus of dishonesty. So with all this in mind, I can't fathom why Dante is furious with Veronica whilst holding a torch for Caitlyn. It all seems rather unfair. Randel seems incapable of keeping secrets. But in this situation, Randel's lack of discretion was for the best.

[00:13:05]>> And he told you all of this?

[00:13:07]>> Pretty much. All except the late homosexuality part. That's just my theory.

[00:13:11]>> Someone needed to tell Veronica what was going on between Caitlyn and Dante. And someone needs to call Dante out for his inconsistent attitude towards Caitlyn and Veronica's past. Dante might have eventually realized that Veronica was the love of his life. But as I said earlier, the best indicator of future behavior is often past behavior. And had they not broken up, I am pretty sure that Dante would have done a lot of other similar things to piss Veronica off. So, she is best out of it. So, all credit to Randall for stepping up here, even if it technically wasn't any of his business.

[00:13:56]This is a life of convenience for you, and any attempt to change it would shatter the pathetic microcosm you fashioned for yourself.

[00:14:02]>> Like your life's any better.

[00:14:04]>> Hey, I'm satisfied with my situation for now. Don't hear me complaining.

[00:14:07]>> Danto describes a childhood instance where he shot himself because he didn't have the gumption to lift up his potty lid. And this seems to have been a formative instance because he apparently keeps repeating this pattern of behavior. But upon scrutiny, this isn't really correct. When he closed the quick stop to play hockey and to visit Julie Dwire's wake, he demonstrated an ability to make proactive decisions in life.

[00:14:34]Even his attempts to patch things up with Caitlyn could be seen as symptomatic of this, albeit in a [ __ ] up way. But he can't recognize this, and he has a long way to go. He constantly whines about how he hates his job and is struggling with his love triangle without applying any clear decision-making processes to resolve either problem. And poor Randel has to listen to him whining about this. So whilst his choice of phrasing isn't particularly elegant, his advice to sh or get off the pot is completely appropriate for this situation.

[00:15:13]You know, [ __ ] tonight we're going to rip off this fucker's head, take out his [ __ ] soul. Remind me if he tries to buy something for me, I'm going to [ __ ] in a motherfucker's bag.

[00:15:21]>> Regulars to this channel will note that I often talk very highly about Hank Venture.

[00:15:28]>> Clones, >> Dean, that is awesome.

[00:15:33]>> And how his positive attitude to life is a real inspiration. Whilst throughout this video I have been singing Randall's praises, with all due respect, Randall is rather bitter and twisted and has demonstrated a malicious streak. Hank would never spit water on a customer or ban them from Hank Co. or say a load of highly explicit terms in front of a little girl. But Bandal expresses admiration for Jay, the Roseman who pedals weeds outside RST video. Whilst Jay is far more potty mouthed than Hank could ever be, he is a cheerful soul and he lives life on his own terms. And to Randel's eternal credit, he could see beyond their petty grievances to recognize how Hank J is.

[00:16:25]I normally make videos about the adult swim show, The Venture Brothers. So last week I told my subscribers that I was considering making a video about a Kevin Smith film and I asked them for thoughts about this idea and I also asked them for recommendations as I predicted due to the extensive use of double acts catchphrases and Star Wars references. There is quite a big crossover between the Venture brothers and the Kevin Smith fan bases. So, when I asked which Kevin Smith film I should make a video about, loads of people requested Dogma. So, I thought yes, let's do a video about Clerks. But if this one goes well, I will most likely move on to Dogma at some point in the future. Dogma was my introduction to the view ask you verse. So I have plenty to say about this. But I figured that since Clerks was the first Kevin Smith film ever. If I'm going to go on to make a Kevin Smith series, Clerks was the best place to start. I know I went in hard on Dante in this video, but since I told the story from Randall's perspective, it felt like the right thing to do. And like Randall, my criticisms come from a place of love. a strange combination of annoyance with love. So, let me know in the comments what you think. Do you think Jay expresses the right attitude to life? Or do you think another character in Clerks has the best ideas?

[00:17:53]Do you have any suggestions for other Kevin Smith films I can make videos about? I won't touch Clerk's 3 though because it's too depressing. But feel free to suggest any others. If you don't know what to write, just drop an I'm not even supposed to be here today because comments really help with the algorithm.

[00:18:13]If you enjoy this video, please give it a like, hype it, and share it on your socials because this is the first time I've made a video about Kevin Smith. I'm not sure who is going to watch this one.

[00:18:24]and of the Kevin Smith fans will be interested in my other videos. But at the point of recording, I am seriously considering making other videos about Kevin Smith. So, please subscribe if you think this sounds interesting. Plus, I'm on a mission to get to 4,000 subscribers. So, I really appreciate the support. Welcome back to all my subscribers, and thank you so much to my channel members. You guys are awesome. I had two levels of membership. The Guild of Calamitous Intent and the Peril Partnership. There are a few perks to membership such as Venure Brothers themed emojis, members badges, a shout out in the video end screen, and exclusive content, but I have recently also added a top tier of membership, the Augustus Staint Cloud package. So, if you sign up for that, I will draw a picture of your choice and post it to your house. Flynn's Arcade is a small channel, so the members really helps keep things going. So, please join if you can. Add me on Instagram, add me on Blue Sky, so you can see when I've got a new video out. The link is in my bio.

[00:19:31]So, that's all from me. I upload videos every weekend. So, unless anything comes up before then, I will see you next time.