The WORST Dates Ever...

[00:00:00]If I shat myself on a date, I don't know what I would do. I don't want to face someone after I've just shat myself.

[00:00:08]What is the last date that you went on that didn't quite go as planned? As you guys know, I'm polyamorous. I have three [music] boyfriends, and while I have gone on a couple first dates in the past four or five years, they've mostly just fizzled out and not gone anywhere. I haven't had a traumatic or strange [music] date in a really long time. I'm bored. That's why I thought that I would entertain myself by hearing about how other people are currently navigating the dating world. Maybe so I can feel slightly better about not navigating through it at this current moment. I don't know. We've had a lot of conversations on here recently about dating and romance, and I thought that I would continue that conversation by showing you guys some videos made by folks who have gone on some very, very strange dates, [music] and I wanted to doodle alongside those videos. So, if that sounds like something of interest to you, stick around. And also, if you haven't already, subscribe to my YouTube channel so that you can get notifications every single time I upload.

[00:01:06]>> The worst date I've ever been on. Me and this boy go out to eat. It's perfect. We had set it up the week before. He said, "I'm going to come pick you up." Great.

[00:01:13]Love that. Love a man with a car. Baby, I talk to bums. These bums don't have cars. So, for you to have a car, you already get an A+ in my book. Boom, he picks me up, and he already had the restaurant that he wanted to go to in mind. He didn't ask me anything, and that's just how I like it. Don't ask me [ __ ] just take me where you want to take me. He took me to this cutsey little spot on the Lower East Side. We get in there, we already have a reservation. He said, "Reservation for two, under Figueroa."

[00:01:37]Bet. We get sat, we get drinks, a little appetizer to share. We're talking, the conversation's good. He's really, really [ __ ] funny. [ __ ] this date just kept getting better and better. He's cute, he's funny, he seems like he got money. Boom, he goes, "Would you like another drink?" I'm like, "Hell yeah, I'm down for round two." Our entrees haven't arrived yet, so we get a second round of drinks. These drinks are so nice, bro. Like, I love a good drink with a nice little cup with a little garnish. I'm just a girl. And he's just a boy, but he's loving them shits, too.

[00:02:05]We like knocking them shits back at this point. Now, our entrees are here. We get a third drink. I'm feeling them. He's clearly feeling them cuz we just yapping away. He telling me about his life story. I'm telling him my life story.

[00:02:16]Then we get little boxes to put our leftover food to go. But then he was like, "Would you like dessert?" And I am a dessert girly. Like, absolutely. Baby, I get that dessert menu. That [ __ ] look good as [ __ ] So, we end up getting like this chocolate lava cake mousse thing.

[00:02:29]Then our server comes and sets the bill on the table. Normally, I would pull out my lip gloss and start applying it as he picks up the check, starts pulling out his card. As I'm sitting here about to pull out my lip gloss to reapply it, the check is still sitting in the center of the table. What's taking him so long?

[00:02:48]Why is he not picking it up? I'm applying my lip gloss. I finish. I put it back in my little baguette. Check is still there.

[00:02:54]So, now I'm just looking around. Some people don't like to pay right away.

[00:02:58]Some people like to stay and talk. So, I'm like, he must just want to stay and talk. And you know what? I don't care.

[00:03:02]We can stay and talk. But now it's been 15 minutes and we're still chatting.

[00:03:06]Eventually, I'm just like, "Are you ready to go?" He was like, "Yeah, let me just go to the bathroom." I'm like, "Do you want to just put your card down so that while you're in the bathroom, he could take the payment? And then when you come back from the bathroom, all you got to do is sign and we can leave or like" And he was like, "My card?" He was acting confused. [ __ ] I was actually confused. Yes, your card. What do you mean, my card? Your card. Hello? Unless you're using cash. Baby, this man said, "Oh, baby, I thought this was on you."

[00:03:34]What the [ __ ] made you think that?

[00:03:36]Listen, I'm not a bougie [ __ ] I'll pay for dates. I love taking men out on dates. But this is our first date. And this is a date that you initiated. And this is a restaurant that you chose. And these are reservations that you made.

[00:03:49]You picked me up. You brought me here.

[00:03:51]Therefore, you have to pay. It's like obviously I'm not going to pay for this [ __ ] What the [ __ ] He was like, "Yeah, you wanted me to take you on a date, so I took you here, but you got to pay for it." Why the [ __ ] would I have to pay for it?

[00:04:03]What? And my thing is, too, right? If I'm on a date with someone and I know I'm not paying, I don't even look at the check. I don't give a [ __ ] how much the check is because I'm not paying. The only way I'll look at a check is if I'm the one that's paying. But if someone else is paying, I'm not looking. That's none of my [ __ ] business. I don't care. He opened it. He said it's 160. Here you go. Take care of it while I go to the bathroom. I'll be right back. I took that [ __ ] I closed it. When I said, "Absolutely the [ __ ] not. You can take care of that [ __ ] right now, then you can go to the bathroom. I'm not paying for this date." He was like, "I'm not paying for the date either. This was something you wanted to do. I don't take [ __ ] out on dates." Oh, you don't take [ __ ] out on dates? Okay, bet. I pull my phone out. He said, "What are you doing?" I'm like, "Oh, I'm just transferring some funds from my savings to my checking so I can go take care of this, but I have Apple Pay, so I have to go up to the front." He said, "Okay, do what you got to do. The second date's on me." I said, "Okay, no problem. While you going to the bathroom, I'll go take care of the bill." I was on my phone ordering my Uber. I said, "Yeah, go ahead. Go to the bathroom. I'll take care of the bill while you're in there."

[00:05:02]I went up to the front. I said, "Thank you so much. Everything was excellent.

[00:05:06]I'm going to step outside, but my date is going to take care of the bill. Don't worry. He said he was going to tip you 30%." Went outside, my Uber was there, got in my [ __ ] and I left. [ __ ] is you talking about?

[00:05:16]>> This story is a kiki and a half. For me, this is a topic that I find fascinating, and I have my own slightly unpopular position about this. So, I'll start with asking you guys the question. Who is supposed to pay for dates?

[00:05:34]In your opinion, who is supposed to pay for dates? I am someone who would describe themselves as tragically heterosexual. So, it's pretty common for me, at least, that the men that I go out on dates with are people who are comfortable paying for the date. As a polyamorous person, my partners all have various different feelings about this.

[00:05:57]When I first started dating Nathan, we definitely had a bit more of an egalitarian approach. This was the phase of my life where I was eager to pay the bill, eager to show up and be the person who could afford to eat places, right?

[00:06:17]In my 20s, I spent a lot of time doing [ __ ] that I did not want to do because I thought that that's what I had to do.

[00:06:25]And I appreciated reaching a point in my life where I wasn't in a situation where I had to do whatever a man wanted me to do because that man had money. So, I appreciated paying for myself. And so, when Nathan and I first started dating, it was common for me to pay at least my half. To this day, I would say that Nathan and I have a relationship where we are used to paying for each other.

[00:06:51]Alexander is the kind of guy who doesn't want for me to pay for anything. His attitude is sometimes like, "Oh, you know, if you want to pay for it, I'll let you pay for it, but I don't want you to pay for it." He's not going to stop me from having that moment where I can do it on my own, but he doesn't really want me to. Frankly, he is more successful than I am, and makes than me, and he should be paying for everything.

[00:07:18]Edward is the partner that I spend most of my time with, and him and I go back and forth in that he does not like for me to spend money. He doesn't like for me to pay for things. But, a lot of times, I end up having more cash than him. So, a lot of times, I'll end up doing something, and then he pays me back. I do sort of appreciate that he's not comfortable with it because a big issue with my ex was that there was a certain point where I was paying for everything. We really broke up because of that. Money can end up being a big issue within a relationship, and I think that if you are a person who doesn't exactly have a good grasp on like exactly how money's going to be divided within your relationship, you're destined to have it be an issue for this particular guy.

[00:08:11]I get the impression that he was just trying to get a meal. When it comes to first dates, my mentality is this. Can I pay for my first date? Yes. I don't agree to go out to eat unless I can ensure that I'm actually going to be able to afford it. I know that I don't really want to date a man who couldn't pay for my date. My mentality is if you can't pay for the date, I don't think that we're going to necessarily get along. And that's just because of where I'm currently at in my life. I don't really want to date people for whom I would have to financially support because I do have the experience of financially supporting a partner. It is a particular sore spot for me. I don't want to be in a situation where I feel like it's up to me to provide. Anyway, let's get into our second video. Welcome back to a segment we call talking [ __ ] while debating and [ __ ] Today, we're going to be talking about how I just got back from a 35-minute date. 35 minutes.

[00:09:14]I walked in at 7:00. No, you know what?

[00:09:17]7:03. I walked in at 7:03 after he was incessantly texting me asking for my update. I said I was running a couple minutes late. I said no more than five.

[00:09:25]He was like, "Okay, great. Like I'm waiting at the bar." I take my AirPods out, and I'm like putting it in my purse. I look to my right. This man is staring at me. I realize it is the man that I'm meeting. Mind you, he said he was 6 ft. But I look over and I am staring him directly in the eye.

[00:09:42]I'm sorry, but a 6 ft to a 5 6 I a difference. So, we've already got a strike, right? Well, we walk into the bar.

[00:09:49]He puts down on my back like I open my own door. Okay, man can't even open the [ __ ] door for me. So, I open the door, he's got his hand behind me and then he like goes in front of me to then be like, "Oh yeah, I want that table."

[00:09:59]It's like, okay, clearly not even a single reservation. Like this is just a walk-up going bar.

[00:10:05]And so, [clears throat] we sit down, whatever, QR code. He like scoffs at the QR code and I was like, "It's really not that deep." Whatever, but he starts to scan it and then he sees that I pull out my phone to scan it and he puts his phone away. I scan it. I'm looking at the menu and then he takes my phone out of my hand to look at the menu. He's like, "I want this one." And he picks it and then he closes out my phone and I'm like, "Oh, okay." Anyway, made a comment about how he has lived in New York for years. I was like, "Oh, obviously, where are you coming from? Like what's the vibe?" He's like, "Oh, I'm coming from San Diego." And I was like, "Oh my gosh, the San Diego to New York pipeline. You don't hear that people often because of the beach." He was like, "Yeah, well, I was hanging out at the beach all the time." And I was like, "Yeah, no, who would want that?" I was like, "Oh, why were you in San Diego?"

[00:10:46]And he was like, "Well, my wife, or I guess my ex-wife." And I was like, "Oh, tell me more." And he was like, "Well, you want me to tell you all my secrets?

[00:10:54]I'm not going to tell you that." I was just like, "Well, you're the one that responded that you got to lie." Yes, of which transitions into the my wife and then I stayed for a little bit because of my 99 children. Please explain to me why the [ __ ] you would say that. Because you immediately go like, "No, I'm just kidding." Honestly, all of the sperm I pump out, it wouldn't be shocking. And then I start pouring some water and he's like, "Oh, you're kind of making a mess. Like it's a little wet.

[00:11:21]It's a little hard for me to focus because you're making it so wet around here."

[00:11:25]He just out of the blue, like we took a sip, there was kind of an awkward pause and he immediately goes, "So, you had a threesome before?"

[00:11:31]I'm like, I don't know where he thinks this is going. I immediately transitioned to something else and then he's like, "Well, okay, but like, have you been with any women? Like, would you consider? Like, can we talk about this more in depth?" And I was like, "Well, you know, I've kissed my friends. Like, ooh la la, but no." And he was just like, "Mhm, like, we're going to have to change that for you if we're going to work out here." You think this is going somewhere in the sense that And this dude I swear I drank this entire water cup before our drinks have even come because I feel like I'm self-conscious of the fact that I don't want to be there. And you can tell our server is kind of like, "Literally, what is happening?" And so, she brings our drinks and it looks like an espresso martini vibe. He looks at it and he's like, "This is the gayest drink I've ever seen."

[00:12:14]Should have walked out right there. I had like three sips left in my drink and he was like, "So, you want to get out of here?" Yeah, I want to get out of here and go home. One of the things that's been a point of conversation on social media is the idea that a lot of men use dating apps for free sex work. I honestly do think that there's something to that because a lot of the times when I have talked to people on dating apps, I always walk away with this question of like, "What would make you think that I would want to continue to see you?" I get so many messages from dudes and the messages are like, "Come over. I'm ready. I'm here now." And it's sort of like, "What does that have to do with me?" Like, uh-huh and then stopped and then finishing our drinks, the lady comes over and she was like, "Can I get you another drink?" And I was like, "You can kindly get me the check."

[00:13:10]Of which, I think he thought that I had changed my mind in a matter of seconds because he just seemed as if, "Oh, she wants the check. We're obviously leaving together."

[00:13:21]Um, the check comes, man did not even attempt to pretend that he was okay with taking the check. I whip out my wallet and put my card down because I'm like, "No way am I going to let this man think that if he pays, he's taking me anywhere." So, he didn't even try.

[00:13:35]Didn't even blink an eye. The girl came back. She gave him a little side eye when she picked up check with both of our cards. We signed. I put on my jacket. I started leaving.

[00:13:43]He's right behind me. We get out the door. He tries to grab my hand. I pulled away and he was like, "Oh, haha, like, you know, at least we both have umbrellas so we can be in the rain together and go to our next spot." Next spot? Sir, my next spot is going to be in my home telling the internet about you because you're horrible.

[00:14:04]>> I get that it's a male fantasy that one day a woman is going to look your way and be interested in being with you.

[00:14:12]But I don't want that. I want to be in a relationship with someone who actually gets me and actually wants to be with me. I don't want to [ __ ] some dude that I just met online. That baffles these dudes. It baffles them that I would actually want to know them a bit more before [ __ ] them. I think a lot of dudes don't quite understand how to connect with women and I think it's because they are thinking that connecting with women is exactly the way that it works in porn. Like this guy, he was giving her porn lines. It wasn't smooth. It was complete porn [ __ ] that I know he thought would work. This guy probably really genuinely thought like, "Oh, I'm going to say this line.

[00:14:59]She's going to hear it and she's going to be so taken by me that she goes home with me and it's this strange, very strange, very odd delusion that a lot of these men suffer. I don't think there's anything wrong with hooking up, but I want to make it very clear that I'm not sex negative. It's more like I know for myself that sex is one of those things that's developed over time. I'm not just going to have a conversation with you and then be like, "Oh yeah, let's [ __ ] go for it." And frankly, with my partners, my partners were all very patient with me. No one rushed into the bed with me, and I think that's a really big part why we're still together. To me, being in a relationship takes time, understanding, patience. And the sort of person that is pushing you, where you guys have just [ __ ] met, the kind of person that's already trying to get you to go back with them, that's not ever going to be a person who gives a [ __ ] about you in the way that you really want. It's one thing if you guys are already sort of on that vibe, but that very clearly wasn't the case here. This was a guy who he wanted to have a certain porn-informed, in my opinion, experience. And I frankly find it kind of sad that men are so maladjusted to the point where they genuinely think that it's reasonable to think that women are just going to throw themselves at them. I think taking care of yourself is the number one thing a guy can do to get someone interested in them. But also, recognizing that women exist in a misogynistic culture where men are asking that of them constantly goes a really far way.

[00:16:43]>> I literally was like, "No, my next spot will be going home." And he was like, "Home?"

[00:16:48]"Yeah, okay, fine." And then he just kind of was awkward. And just to really nail in the coffin for him, I was like, "It was really nice meeting you." And I gave him a little side hug. And he tries to pull me in close. That's on me, but at the same time, I was like, "No, you do not get the last word in this." And so, yeah.

[00:17:05]And then I went down the stairs to the train in hopes that he wasn't following me.

[00:17:10]And now I'm here deboning a chicken.

[00:17:12]>> It's crazy to me that there are men who genuinely think like, "Oh, if I go online and I talk to a girl and she talks to me, that must mean that it's a high likelihood that she is going to desire a connection." I don't know why you would think that. Ultimately, for me, I'm just going to speak for myself, but for most women, I think that you need to feel some degree of safety before that's a conversation that you're having. It baffles me how frequently I talk to men and it's like they resent the very idea that I would want to be safe.

[00:17:52]It's like they resent the very idea that I would want to be sure about who I'm going back with.

[00:17:59]And it's very strange, very strange.

[00:18:02]Because I often find myself wondering, like, do you ever find that this works out for you? Because at the end of the day, I'm not a person who's going to just talk to you online and think that you're so interesting, so seductive, so attractive that of the men that I could go and [ __ ] I'm going to [ __ ] you. I'm going to go to dinner with you and it's going to be a sex thing. So many men seem to think that that's like the norm. It's genuinely something that baffles my brain. Let's watch the next video.

[00:18:35]>> I just got back from my first date and it was a train wreck. I am horrified, traumatized, embarrassed. I don't know if I can ever show my face again.

[00:18:44]Please, let me explain what happened.

[00:18:46]So, I ended up matching with this gorgeous girl on Hinge. She was my type, she liked golfing, she liked working out, she liked snowboarding. And she messaged me first. It almost felt too good to be true. But we sent a few messages back and forth on Hinge before I asked for her number. And we started texting back and forth for a few days, talking about the basic get-to-know-each-other stuff. What do you do for work? Do you have any pets?

[00:19:07]What's your favorite food? Do your parents even love you? After a few days of that, I asked her if she wanted to meet me out for dinner tonight. She said yes. So, we made the plans to meet at 7:00. And I asked her if she wanted to go to this American diner, think of like Chili's, but locally owned. So, I'm going about my day today, wake up, go hit the gym. WWE 2K16 just came out, so I played a little bit of that, and then I just hung out till I started getting ready. I get ready, and this place is a lot closer to her than it is to me, so I leave the house at like 6:20.

[00:19:35]Head on out, and I get to the restaurant at about 6:55. I get a text back at 7:05. She tells me she's here. We meet up at the front, and she looked even more gorgeous in person than she did on her pictures. So, we do our introduction, and then we head on in. We stop at the host stand, talk to them, and then we go sit at our table. It's Saturday night. I've had a long week, so I asked her if she wanted a drink, and she said yes. I ended up getting a Blue Moon, and I was pretty shocked and impressed when she ordered an IPA. I don't even drink IPAs. I think they're disgusting. This place had their own version of an appetizer sampler. We decided to get that to share, and then for dinner, I just got a burger. She got some sort of chicken sandwich. We're just talking, waiting for our appetizer to come out. Conversation is flowing really well, really witty, a little bit flirty. I'm having a great time. Like, I've seen zero red flags so far. She's engaging in the conversation. She's not on her phone the whole time. She's asking normal questions. She's not trauma dumping. I think I finally found my match. While we're talking, the appetizer comes, and we start taking a few bites, and to me, it just tasted like old oil. I don't know if you know what that tastes like, but when like a pizza shop or any fryer you don't change your oil, you can taste it. It just feels dirty. So, I had one mozzarella stick and a couple pickle chips, and I was like, I think I'm full on that. I want to save room for dinner. Our entrees come like 10 minutes later.

[00:20:49]Waiter drops them off. We get another round of drinks. I'm two bites into my burger. Out of nowhere, my stomach starts doing backflips. Pain that you're shuffling around in your chair, trying to get comfortable. But, I'm trying to play it cool. I'm having a good date. I don't want to be like, "Oh, excuse me.

[00:21:03]I'm going to go take a shit." So, I power through. I stopped eating my burger. I took one more bite, I didn't feel well. I told her I wasn't that hungry. But she's enjoying her food and I'm enjoying the conversation. While we're talking, I go to take a sip of my beer. And you know when something goes down the wrong tube? I start coughing.

[00:21:19]Aggressively, embarrassingly coughing cuz I'm choking on my beer. I don't even know how to say this. I cough one time too hard. One time. I wouldn't wish what I experienced on my worst enemy, truly.

[00:21:33]I'm coughing. I [ __ ] myself. I coughed so hard that I [ __ ] myself. It took a second for the realization to kick in and I look at my date with the fear of God in my eyes. And we're mid-conversation, having a good conversation. She's checking on me cuz I'm coughing. She goes, "You okay?" I go, "Yeah. Yeah, I'm good." And I'm panicking in my head. I go in my pocket, grab my phone, pull it out like somebody called me, look at her, go, "I got to take this. I'll be right back. Just give me a second to step outside." And just get out and waddle to the door. And I just left. I didn't know what else to do. I left, get in my car, stomach is still making sounds. I'm stripping in my car, literally looking for anything.

[00:22:11]Thank God I had a couple napkins in my glove box to clean up the best I could.

[00:22:15]And I I drive home just a [ __ ] shirt on. Praying to God I don't get pulled over. Praying to God I don't hit a bump and it happens again. I am traumatized.

[00:22:23]I don't think I can ever go out in public again. I didn't know what to do.

[00:22:26]I left that poor girl at the restaurant.

[00:22:28]What was I supposed to tell her? I don't know. How do I fix this? How do I make it up to her? How did this happen? I pray to God that she never sees this video. I pray to God that I can find some sort of excuse to see this girl again.

[00:22:40]>> Oh my God. That is like top 10 like worst nightmare. [ __ ] yourself on a date. What would you do in that situation? Oh my God. [laughter] This would be me on a date with someone who [ __ ] their pants. I would try to be empathetic, but I would just laugh. And I would have to apologize and explain that I'm not laughing at them. It's just kind of funny, especially cuz you were laughing and then it caused you to [ __ ] which means that you probably thought it was going to be a fart and you were like, I'm just going to let it rip, she might not notice. I'm dead. If I shat myself on a date, I don't know what I would do. I want to say that I would be mature and be like, let's talk about it, like, let's have a conversation, but I would probably do the same thing. I don't want to face someone after I've just shat myself and frankly, I think he probably made the right call. I would probably text her and be like, hey, I had an accident, I have to go. I'm really embarrassed, but I had a great time. Maybe I'll do a coffee date with him next time, maybe. Maybe. I would definitely pay for my portion of the bill.

[00:23:50]>> One of the worst dates I've ever been on was the first and only time I was ever asked to a school dance by a boy and it was entirely my fault. Not only was it fairly obvious to everybody except for myself that I was a raging lesbian. I was also tall and gangly and awkward and autistic and to my knowledge, I did not really get a lot of attention from boys.

[00:24:09]I was caught off guard when the boy who sat next to me in my public speaking class asked me if I had any plans for the winter formal dance my freshman year of high school. Not only did I have no intention of going to winter formal because I hated school dances, winter formal was on my birthday that year. So, there was no way I was going to be spending my birthday slow dancing with a boy at a school dance. I was like, no, I don't think I'm going to go cuz it's on my birthday this year and I don't want to spend my birthday at a school dance.

[00:24:37]And he was like, well, if somebody asked you, would you reconsider? My autistic brain does not pick up on indirect communication whatsoever. I did not clock that he was trying to gauge whether or not I would be interested in going to the dance with him. The next day, I go to school and I open my locker and it is completely full of paper cranes that he had been folding while sitting next to me in our public speaking class. And inside all of them he had written winter formal, and he put roses in my locker, and it was really sweet. Like, how could I say no to that, especially after I told him I would reconsider going to the dance if somebody asked me. So, I say yes, and then I immediately start to panic because there is nothing I want to do on this earth less than go to a dance with a boy and slow dance with him and like look into his eyes. That literally makes me want to crawl out of my skin, but I'm definitely not a lesbian. But the last second, I asked two of my best friends to come with me on my date with this boy, one of which is like my original extremely toxic homoerotic high school female friendship that was fueled by jealousy and spite. We take our pictures together, he gives me a corsage, I'm 5 in taller than him because I'm the second tallest person in my grade. Our outfits were completely uncoordinated, but he just happened to coordinate his outfit perfectly with my friend Jasmine.

[00:26:03]It is awkward. Nobody knows what to say.

[00:26:07]My mom is driving us to the dance, and the car is silent. Every sentence I say is directed at Jasmine or my other friend. This poor guy was along for the ride. We get to the dance. It's what you would expect for a high school dance.

[00:26:24]Not very many people showed up. It was a really big empty auditorium. Nobody was really dancing. My friend Sierra was rolling around on her Heelys. Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran starts playing, and this guy that I'm with turns to me waiting for a slow dance. Made it 30 seconds into the song before I was like, I really need to go get a glass of water, and I ran out to the hallway to get some water so that I could wait out the rest of the slow dance, leaving him alone on the dance floor. Oh my god, come back from getting my glass of water, and my friend Jasmine has been so gracious as to take over the slow dance for me, so that he's not stranded alone in the middle of the dance floor. Just left me alone to slow dance with the other friend I had come to the dance with. Totally as a joke. Thank god, the slow song ended, we could go back to getting our groove on. Then, out of nowhere, we four mere freshmen, one of whom had just turned 15 that very eve, were approached by a junior. Like, we thought this guy was so cool. Like, he played the drums, and he had long hair.

[00:27:34]He asked us if we wanted to go to Sherry's with him after the dance was over. Sherry's was a 24-hour diner chain, the place to go after a school dance. So, we knew if we were getting invited to Sherry's after the school dance, we were in. This was our ticket to being cool. So, I immediately say yes on all of our behalfs. I do not ask my parents if it's okay to stay out past curfew. It did not occur to me to ask my parents until we were halfway to Sherry's, and we realized that this guy who invited us was driving a little bit crazy. And we all looked at each other, and we realized, "Oh my god, he's drunk.

[00:28:17]He's drunk, and he's driving us children to Sherry's at night?" And I immediately had the realization of, "Oh my god, if I don't die in this car right now, my mother is going to kill me when I finally make it home after all of this."

[00:28:34]We make it to Sherry's, and it is already 15 minutes before my curfew. And I realize I'm going to have to call my mom to come pick up me and my friends from this hangout immediately after getting there, because I didn't ask if it was okay to stay out past curfew and the person who drove us there was drunk.

[00:28:54]She's driving us home, getting closer to my house, and she realizes she needs to drop off this guy I've been on a date with and she has no idea where he lives.

[00:29:03]She's like, "Hey, where is a good spot to drop you off?" And he says, "Oh, I'm just going to go to my friend's house down the street, so you can drop me off right here." She pulls over and lets him out, this 14-year-old boy who's the size of a string bean, out onto the street at like 12:30 a.m. in the middle of December. And then we went home and I got in enormous trouble and I went out of my way never to willingly interact with or talk to this boy ever again, which was excruciatingly difficult considering my class in high school had like 60 people in it total. This whole time I had no idea this boy had a crush on me. I thought he was asking me cuz he had nothing better to do. There was no way he could have any feelings for me until I went to school the next day and everyone was mad at me. I did not speak to this kid again until the night we graduated high school at our school's senior all-night party and a group of us were sitting to be drawn by a character artist and he was sitting next to me. He turns to me, "I need to tell you something before we probably never see each other again." He was like, "Do you remember when I asked you for the dance our freshman year of high school and your mom dropped me off at my friend's house at the end of the night?" He goes, "That wasn't my friend's house. I just wanted to get out of the car. My house was 4 miles away." This kid walked 4 miles in the middle of the night in December to escape the horrible date we were on. And that haunted me for months until I saw him on Tinder lying about his age and cheating on his girlfriend, and then I didn't feel bad anymore.

[00:31:00]>> That is so funny. Do you guys remember prom? Prom for me was not nearly as interesting. Like I was definitely a I don't know how to describe me. I wasn't really a nerd. I was more like a strange artsy child who did not really want to do what all the kids were doing. You know, we were very contrarian in terms of our little friend group.

[00:31:26]Like my friend group, we were basically we're all smart kids, right? We're all smart kids, but we were all different.

[00:31:33]We were probably one of the more diverse friend groups on campus, but we were still predominantly Asian cuz the community was predominantly Asian. We used to have so much fun just hanging around and talking about how much we weren't like everyone else that was there. It's such a funny thing to think about now. We had prom at the Aquarium of the Pacific, by the way, if you are from Southern California. We all dressed in our prom outfits and got We were up on the top floor looking down at everyone judging them because none of us had dates and none of us were participating in the whole ritual of it.

[00:32:09]And we just thought we were so cool.

[00:32:11]When I think back to that time, I kind of wish that I went with someone and I was myself, but at the end of the day, it's kind of a blip. At least it was for me.

[00:32:22]It was not at all what Hollywood tried to make it seem like it would be. It was more like just a thing that happened. I think it's so funny that also drinking is part of the story because one of the things that really got me when I went away to college was that everyone was drinking alcohol cuz I did not go to a high school where everyone was drinking alcohol. It was very strange to me that people drank alcohol.

[00:32:45]Yeah, no one that I knew was drinking alcohol at prom, but I think that's because I only knew the kids who didn't drink. Anyway, let me find another one.

[00:32:55]>> Story time on how I just went on the worst first date of my life ever. I'm still [clears throat] trying to wrap my head around it, honestly. So, I went out with one of my coworkers yesterday. So, I thought it was a safe bet. It's somebody who I've built bench with.

[00:33:07]We've had a relationship. So, it's like we're close. Her birthday is today. So, I decided let me just go ahead and take her on a date. We've been flirting around the office, so it just made sense. So, I invite her on a Wednesday.

[00:33:18]I say, "Hey, I want to take you out on Friday." She knew about it. Friday comes, I go into work. I'm expecting to see her. She's not there. She doesn't come to work that day. So, I don't really overthink it, but I am thinking like, "Okay, if she's not coming to work, changes the plans a little bit, but again, I don't stress it." She calls me once today. It's about to be over and she says, "Are we still going out? Where do you want to meet?" Asking me about the plans. Mind you, she already knew the plans, but cool. I say, "We're going to meet at such and such spot at 5:30."

[00:33:43]I get there at 5:30. Happy hour is going on. I'm waiting.

[00:33:48]She doesn't show up until 6:00. Happy hour ends at 6:00. She's late. I'm like, "All right, let me go ahead and order things for the table." I order two red wines and some calamari. As soon as she gets there, she sits down. She's complaining about the drink that I ordered her. This is happy hour, so it's kind of like you missed it. I was trying to do you a favor and get you something.

[00:34:07]And she's complaining about the drink that I got her. She said that the calamari tastes frozen. She's complaining to the server. Mind you, this is off the sit-down. This is off the sit-down. The server just so happens to be a Hispanic guy. He has people beside him. It was such a long night and I was so embarrassed. He has people beside him who specifically asked for him. So, they're talking. [music] They're speaking in Spanish to each other. She complains to the bartender about him speaking in Spanish because we don't understand Spanish. The conversation was not meant for us. He was talking to somebody else. It was not meant for us. She turns to me and she says, "That's probably It's probably a drug deal going on." All right. I feel like that comment shifted the entire night for me because why would you just judge these people like that? They're complaining about the food. They're complaining about the Spanish speaking.

[00:34:53]Then saying that he's a drug dealer.

[00:34:54]Okay. All right. Oh my gosh. It's so much to the story. Then Now we're drinking. We're drunk at this point.

[00:34:59]It's time to order food. So, the guy brings us the menu. The girl said, "I want what the people have beside us."

[00:35:05]All right. Cool. That's what she says.

[00:35:07]"I want what the people have beside us."

[00:35:10]That's what the man did. He put in the order. He brought the order out. She said, "This doesn't look like what they have beside us. The steak isn't as big as their steak." I don't I don't eat too much steak, but I feel like skirt steaks are all one size cuz that's what it is.

[00:35:25]They might be different, but you know what I'm saying? It's not going to be identical. She complained. She told the man that this is not what she wanted.

[00:35:31]They got into a back and forth argument.

[00:35:33]She called the manager over to the table. Now her and the manager are going at it. The server like the bartender is trying to talk to her. She said, "Don't talk to me."

[00:35:42]Now mind you, this is a place that I go often. I frequent because I enjoy this place. I go to the bar so much. So, now it's like you're a reflection of me at this point. All right. So, cool. She complained. The manager is like, "I'll give you guys a free drinks." He gave us free drinks and I think like a free dessert. A dessert that I didn't ask for it. Like I didn't want it. Like she's complaining at this point. All right.

[00:36:02]Cool. So, the night is over. The [snorts] bartender who always talks to me is not talking to me at this point.

[00:36:07]So, when I go to the bathroom, I have a moment with him and I apologize for her behavior because I was embarrassed. I'm still so embarrassed. If you see this video, again, I'm still so embarrassed.

[00:36:17]I hated how she treated [clears throat] you. I hated how the night went. It just makes it even worse because this is a person who I have to see every single day at work. I will never be taking her out on a date again and I'm just I'm just going to end here. It was terrible, a bad experience.

[00:36:30]>> I think a lot of people discount that the way you treat staff is pretty massive. If you are disrespectful to the people that have to be there, that are working to get you your food, I do think that that's an indication of what is to come. I have not dated in a very long time the sort of men who are rude to waitstaff. But I remember when I was in Orange County, I dealt with this a little bit where you could tell that some of the men that were going out with me had an attitude about how they were supposed to be waited on and things like that. And frankly, it's so off-putting.

[00:37:09]You should be able to objectively observe what's going on and recognize that the person who is doing service for you likely has not thought of that as the most important thing in their life and the thing that they wanted to do, right? Some people feel that way, but I would venture to guess that's not the case here. So, bare minimum, you should respect them. And I think that when you can't respect someone even in that capacity, it says a lot. It says an awful lot. This to me sounds like someone who goes to restaurants and they abuse waitstaff largely because they can. Largely as like a show of power.

[00:37:51]And I think that is so unappealing, so unattractive. And also, I don't care what your racial background is. I think people who say [ __ ] like that about Spanish speaking are incredibly ignorant, incredibly ignorant. In most places in the world, it is common to speak more than one language. In Mexico, it is common to speak more than one language, right? So, Americans resenting people for speaking another language, I think are telling on themselves. Because in most places in the world, it is an asset to be able to speak more than one language. America is one of the few places where speaking more than one language can get you socially outcasted.

[00:38:31]So anyway, those are the bad dates I wanted to watch today. Let me know how you felt about these videos. If you've got a bad date that you think qualifies as a worst date, I would love to hear what your date was like. Please give me entertaining things to read while I'm on the train. I would really appreciate it.

[00:38:49]Anyway, that'll do it for this video. I wanted to remind you guys that this hoodie is available in my shop. I've got a whole bunch of hoodies in my shop. A lot of you guys have pointed out that my hoodies are very like Y2K 2008 and that is definitely what I'm going for. Oh, and would you look at that? I've also got this very cute bikini on that you can also find in my store.

[00:39:12]Anyway, I'll talk to you guys next time and as per usual, I want you to always remember and to never forget that you are beautiful and you are loved.

[00:39:22]Bye.