Crowd Work in Chicago: Mario Adrion

Added: 2026-05-12

[00:00:00]You look pretty racist. What's your area of You also look so straight. You look so straight it's kind of gay. You know what I'm saying? If I had to cast a straight guy, like a straight American dude, I'd be like this guy, yeah. Did you play football or something? You look very fit, too. Football and wrestling.

[00:00:15]>> [laughter] >> Gay?

[00:00:18]Bro, football and wrestling?

[00:00:20]>> [applause] >> It doesn't get much gayer than that, dude. No, no, but you know we always have a saying, it's not gay unless you smile.

[00:00:27]>> [laughter] >> You know what I'm saying? If you rollerblade on the beach, you know smiling, that's pretty gay. You know what I'm saying? If you rollerblade on the beach serious, then it looks like you're invading a country. You know what I'm saying? Same with wrestling, right?

[00:00:38]If you're wrestling up there rolling with the guy, just like smiling, you know, then that's so gay, right? But if you wrestle with a guy just like serious face, then that's still gay. Some things are just gay. Some things are just gay.

[00:00:48]Some things are just gay. Do you ever do the what's it called? The oil check?

[00:00:52]Yeah. [laughter] Personally, no. Personally, never. Okay.

[00:00:55]So, an oil check is basically By the way, Bill is a jiu-jitsu black belt guy, so he told me all about this like wrestling stuff and basically it's Correct me if I'm wrong, it's Any homophobes in the room, buckle up, all right? So, um isn't oil check where you when you wrestle to get more grip on the body, you you put a finger up their butt?

[00:01:13]>> [laughter] >> Whatever it takes, really. What's the saying? Sometimes the means justifies the ends or whatever the saying is. We Germans are very funny people.

[00:01:26]>> [laughter] >> That's right.

[00:01:28]That's right. That's right. Joke number one.

[00:01:31]>> [laughter] >> That's how people think we sound. They think we Germans are fully autistic. To be fair, we are a little autistic, okay?

[00:01:37]I'm not going to lie. Yeah, she's nodding. Yes, yes, yes. Is your husband German? I know, that's always what happens. It's always a girl with actually an autistic German who is like, yes, very much so autistic, yeah. How does his autism manifest? He loves airplanes.

[00:01:52]>> [laughter] >> Okay, wow, you're really Okay, yeah.

[00:01:58]There's different brands of autism, you know what I mean? There's like the ones who like the who like they're counting the pebbles and then there's like Elon Musk, you know, there's like all the different spectrums. Yeah.

[00:02:05]>> [laughter] >> How do you guys meet? Studied abroad in Germany. What part of Germany?

[00:02:09]Frankfurt, yeah. That's the most autistic part of Germany. It is, it really is. It's the financial district of Germany. Or that's where the planes are.

[00:02:19]>> [laughter] >> He's so aroused about it, too. He's like in the Mariott, that's where all the planes are.

[00:02:27]That's cool. What's your favorite plane?

[00:02:28]A 350.

[00:02:29]A 350? Hell yeah, brother. Is that a military plane kind of thing? Good.

[00:02:33]Good. Good. See?

[00:02:34]>> [laughter] >> It's a nice plane. It's a beautiful plane, yeah? Yo, you know what I saw?

[00:02:39]You're going to love this. Oh my god, your German autism is going to lose it right now. I was in LA, it was around New Year's, and they had one of these crazy It looked like a UFO, truly. It was a B What's it called? Like the stealth bomber? The B-2. Look at this guy, he knew what I was going to say already, you know?

[00:02:53]So, yeah, you are truly autistic, right?

[00:02:55]You're just like, yeah. Have you seen that thing? It's a $3 billion thing just flying around LA, stealth bombing, cannot be detected by radar. Yeah, this show is just for one autistic person at this point, but you know.

[00:03:05]>> [laughter] >> Any gay guys here?

[00:03:11]Statistically, you guys are lying. I'm just going to say it right now.

[00:03:14]I'm just going to say it right now. You look so straight it's kind of gay. You know what I'm saying, dude? Like you know what I'm saying?

[00:03:19]You got the baseball cap and the flannel, too. Do you do woodworking or something like that?

[00:03:26]I'm good with the wood.

[00:03:29]It's the gayest spot to get a picture.

[00:03:32]What's your name?

[00:03:33]That's a very straight name. Joel, yeah?

[00:03:36]What do you do for a living, Joel?

[00:03:38]You build elevators? Hell yeah, bro.

[00:03:40]Joel, would you Hypothetic scenario, would you if somebody offered you $10,000, would you get your dick sucked by a guy?

[00:03:49]Earlier today? See, it's a business decision, right?

[00:03:52]Get that bag. If somebody offers you $10,000 and you don't get your dick sucked by a guy, then you're gay. You know what I'm saying? Cuz there's a limit. I think the more comfortable you are with your sexuality, the more straight you are, right? So, the more gay you can be as a straight guy, the more straight you are. There is a limit.

[00:04:06]There's a limit somewhere, right? We got to find it. Let's find it, yeah.

[00:04:09]Whatever, Joel. Do you like baseball?

[00:04:12]No? Gay?

[00:04:16]I'm getting What's the straightest thing you like?

[00:04:19]My wife. You like your wife? Yeah. Gay?

[00:04:23]>> [laughter] >> I'm kidding. I'm going to stop.

[00:04:25]I'm going to stop.

[00:04:26]>> So, Mario Adrian isn't really a very German name. It sounds like from somewhere else.

[00:04:30]>> No, they're all Germans. WE WILL ASK THE QUESTIONS.

[00:04:34]You know what? I thought the same thing, though. I mean, Adrian is not a very German name. It's actually This is like I did a 23andMe, I did a DNA test, okay?

[00:04:42]>> [clears throat] >> I'm sorry.

[00:04:44]>> [laughter] >> And uh based on my family, they're all from Germany, right? But yeah, my name is not very German. I did the DNA test thinking also there's some cool exotic mixes, cuz you Americans are very diverse for the most part, you know? I did my DNA test and I'm 91% French-German.

[00:05:03]>> [laughter] >> And I make a living [ __ ] on French people and um when I saw that, I I felt like Luke Skywalker when he found out that Darth Vader is his dad. I just felt like I WAS LIKE, NO! [screaming] THE MOST [ __ ] COUNTRIES HAVE THE wildest anthems. Italy has a crazy anthem, too. Who's Italian here?

[00:05:23]Italian? Do you Oh, Italian. Italy.

[00:05:26]What's the Italian one again? It's something about like Fratelli d'Italia.

[00:05:29]It's the most beautiful anthem. I think it's the most hardcore one, but They just changed it because it was too much.

[00:05:34]Really? They changed it?

[00:05:36]>> [laughter] >> They really did? How How long ago? Last month.

[00:05:41]>> [laughter] >> Am I too late with my show?

[00:05:49]Cannot be unpunctual, or no?

[00:05:52]>> [laughter] >> Cuz they basically they said something like "We are ready to die. We are ready to die." And I was like, yeah, that makes sense. In World War II, you know, they were too ready to die, not ready to fight, I feel like.

[00:06:00]>> [laughter] >> And then it says something like "Make her the slave of Rome's head" or something crazy like that. That's insane. And we Germans had to change our national anthem. Do you know about this, Fabio? But it was not as crazy as theirs. The German national anthem used to be Deutschland, Deutschland über alles, which means Germany, Germany above everything, which sounds bad on first, but it was actually a call for unity, cuz there's all these little kingdoms in Germany. So, Germany above everything was a call for unity, not for superiority. I sound like Diddy's lawyer right now.

[00:06:28]Whatever, guys. Have you been to the sauna here?

[00:06:31]>> [laughter] >> What about in Italy? When you go to a sauna in Italy, are people naked in there? Are people Not like in Germany.

[00:06:37]Not like in Germany? Is it only in Germany? I thought it was all over Europe.

[00:06:40]Austria, too? Yeah, Austria. Yeah, it's like a German state.

[00:06:43]>> [laughter] >> Austria is Any French people here? Yes?

[00:06:46]Okay, what's your name? Jerome. Jerome?

[00:06:48]That's amazing. Oh, Jerome, okay. Merci beaucoup.

[00:06:51]>> [laughter] >> I'm so sorry. So, Jerome, what brought you to America? Work. Work? I'm working for one of the Well, German insurance company. Really?

[00:07:00]>> [laughter] >> For German insurance company? Thanks for your service. Uh >> [laughter] >> We Germans, I think we have more respect for insurance people than veterans. Our veterans don't get discounts at all, but insurance people, we're like, oh, he's an insurance person. We love him so much, yeah. He's doing the Lord's work, yeah. So, do you have German bosses? Uh superiors? Your Führer, is he about a German?

[00:07:22]>> [laughter] >> It's a language barrier. I'm just trying to get on the same page, yeah.

[00:07:26]How is it working for a German as a French guy? Was it hard? Uh I work late, and then I learned to be on time with the German >> [laughter] >> Isn't that beautiful? And that's how we raise our kids, too, you know? Yeah.

[00:07:37][laughter] Did he chop off your thumbs or anything like that?

[00:07:42]You guys were born in Poland, all of you guys? Yeah. Yeah. Do you guys know each other from Poland or from here?

[00:07:48]Is there a like a Polish self-help group or something like that?

[00:07:50]>> [laughter] >> Yeah. All six of us. All six of us?

[00:07:55]>> [laughter] >> Is it like a kinky club you have? Like a kinky Polish club, yeah? And do you guys miss Poland sometimes? No. Yeah. No.

[00:08:03]Just for the family. Yes, for the family? Do you miss like Polish bakeries or something like that? No, we have them down the street.

[00:08:08]>> Oh, really?

[00:08:09]>> [laughter] >> You brought it. Polish people coming to America, taking jobs from Mexican bakeries.

[00:08:15]>> [laughter] >> The problem >> [applause] >> You guys fly You guys No, I never speak English. Really? Okay, is it that Is it like a Polish community, for real?

[00:08:24]Polish market.

[00:08:25]>> [laughter] >> 2 million people? Seems like a high number. Highest population outside of Warsaw, Poland. Thanks for the German autistic facts. I like that.

[00:08:37]When did that happen? Was it Germany's fault? I always feel like anything is always Germany's fault, so I'm like, okay. If 2 million people left Poland and went to the US, probably Germany's fault, yeah? Who's firing a gun in here, by the way?

[00:08:49]The lesbians. Let's go. Let's go.

[00:08:52]Point guard? Foid. Foid.

[00:08:56]Oh. I thought she was a point guard in the WNBA.

[00:09:00]>> [laughter] >> So, a foid card is the card you have to Oh, you have one? Okay, can I see this?

[00:09:07]Why do you all have guns, man? This is like Anybody can get one. You all have a gun card? That doesn't mean you have Who has a gun card here? Everybody.

[00:09:17]>> [laughter] >> Left hands, please. Sorry, that was a little too aggressive Firearms owner identification card, dude. You look like a school shooter in this photo, dude.

[00:09:27]Get him, man. Cuz he's gay.

[00:09:30]>> [laughter] >> All right, I'm going to There's a lot of sexual tension here. I'm going to let you guys figure this out. What do you have to do to get that one?

[00:09:35]>> Nothing.

[00:09:38]Is there anything like a physical like a exam like an evaluation or something?

[00:09:41]No, only for concealed carry. Concealed carry? No, it means like hidden. Yeah. I know what concealed means, you [ __ ] [ __ ] yeah.

[00:09:48]>> [laughter] >> Yeah, okay. So, in in Illinois, you cannot walk around with it with it with it open, okay? You just got to put it in your, you know.

[00:09:57]>> [laughter] >> Oh, you must be the Serbian woman.

[00:10:03]I don't know if it's a lack of emotion on your face or the little whatever you wear in your head right now that's that's awesome. Are you also Serbian?

[00:10:10]Yeah? You you dress very differently the two of you guys. Just her heat radiates on me.

[00:10:16]That's the gayest thing I've heard in my life.

[00:10:20]And what about you, sir? Do you know these people?

[00:10:23]Please help. [laughter] Do you know Do you don't know these people? Yes. You know them? Good friends. Oh, they're good friends. I thought they just sat you here and you were literally just some lonely Polish guy ready to be invaded or something like that.

[00:10:36]That's good. And what what brought you guys to America from Serbia? War.

[00:10:41]>> [laughter] >> Good. So, you Are you guys refugees? No, no, no, no. I went Kosovo happened, let's get out of here. She got here as an opportunity with her sister and then we actually met here.

[00:10:53]>> Oh, you met here, but you're both from Serbia? That's so cool. Look at that.

[00:10:56]The beautiful war love. Somebody's going to write a book about it at some point.

[00:11:00]This is great, yeah. Are you also Serbian? No. No? How do you know these guys? I DON'T.

[00:11:04]>> [laughter] >> BY THE WAY, FOR YOU AMERICANS, SERBIA IS A COUNTRY IN Europe >> [laughter] >> which is a continent that's not America.

[00:11:12]I love coming to Zanies, man. Zanies is my favorite club and one of my favorite clubs in the country and I love coming here. I proposed to my wife at Zanies Comedy Club in downtown Chicago, by the way. Yeah. Now, I was wondering why I feel so drawn to this place. I always felt this like there was something that was activated inside of me that drew me to this place and then during Bill's set, I looked at the letters of Zanies >> [laughter] >> and I realized when you rearrange the letters a little bit and the fact that you all bought tickets to the show and we sold out five shows.

[00:11:48]This is the only shows that sold out, by the way. Then that makes me think that, uh, you know, yeah. You're all sus, guys. This is all sus, yeah. This is like some weird Nazi underground meeting here in Rosemont. We're all here. We've taken over.

[00:12:02]>> [laughter] >> So, that was a joke.

[00:12:07]>> [laughter] >> She was like, "Hell yeah, brother.

[00:12:09]Finally.

[00:12:10]We're taking over."