Female social dynamics often operate through an invisible 'relational web' where individuals track emotional and social connections, creating complex networks of obligation, status, and mutual monitoring. This system can be particularly challenging for autistic individuals who may not intuitively understand these unwritten social rules, leading to misinterpretation of intentions and social exclusion. The key insight is that healthy relationships require explicit communication rather than relying on implicit social cues, and individuals have the right to exit toxic relational environments that prioritize status competition over genuine connection.
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Okay, and we're live. Hello everybody.
Welcome back to Honeybadger Radio. My name is Brian Allison and this is Maintaining Frame.
>> What?
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>> We're back after being knocked offline.
Well, it was it there was uh yeah, my internet went down like right before the show was supposed to start and it didn't come on for about an hour or so and um so yeah, we just >> pushed it up. Yeah, it was it it was down for a while.
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>> And uh and then when I started the stream up today, for some reason, uh Reream didn't alter my titles to give it the new titles that for this show and YouTube didn't take the ingest. So, I had to it created a new instance, but I shared it with you guys and um yeah, you should be you should be good now.
>> Get in the YouTube.
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>> Curse you YouTube.
>> Get in the YouTube. Get in the YouTube restream G. Get in it. Okay, >> it didn't go in, but we're good now.
We're here. And uh we're going to be looking at um this video. Somebody in our um comment section recommended it. That's how I found it. I don't know if you saw that. Like we got a comment on another video >> where >> uh let me see here. I I will uh go to it and show you. Well, I'll read it out for you guys.
>> So, cuz it's I I'm assuming it's related to another video that was uh shared.
So, let me see if I can find it. Um, we get a we get a lot of comments, so it's hard to find here. Like scrolling back through the comment section.
>> Yeah, you actually uh we do actually go in our comment section.
>> Yeah, >> sometimes regretfully, but but not always. Often you guys have very interesting things to add. Um like uh recommendations like this one, which >> Oh, yeah. Here it is.
>> Bejorn. It was from uh Bejorn Johnson who posted on our children excist men to blame video which was like a couple of videos back where I think we're reacting to Brian Claire and um queer Kiwis's videos on like you know uh boy moms and uh girl dads and they said the YouTube channel the font spot did a very concise video not really it's about a half hour long about destructive behavior among women and particularly how that affected her as an autistic woman. The gossip, the ostracization, the evershifting landscape. I found it interesting how many people called it internalized misogyny when the purpose was to hold women accountable for behaviors that affected her negatively. It's called why female social dynamics genuinely terrify me as an autistic woman by the thought spot. And so, um, yeah. So, I thought I would look up the video and, uh, share it. So, this is what we're going to be looking at today is this woman who is trying very, very hard not to upset women because she's about to deliver the mildest criticism ever.
[laughter] And of course, it's probably not going to work out. So, anyway, um Allison, you're muted, I think. I assume you wanted to say something.
>> Oh, yes, I did. I am. I am. And I do want to say something. You know me well.
Um, yes. The most I just laughed when you said this woman doesn't want to criticize women. [laughter] You got to make >> Well, she she does, but she's trying to be very like >> diplomatic, >> whereas I don't give a crap anymore. Not sure if I ever did, but um yeah, like I I I'm I'm of the opinion that if women want me to abide by these kinds of behaviors and tolerate them, then I have no need of them, no need of their company.
Um and that's that's sort of my position. I will not be silenced and I will not be manipulated. and I won't be put through a labyrinth of catch 22s and I will not signal against my own ethical substrate some kind of allegiance to the consensus and if that means that I am socially ostracized and removed from the company of women then so be it although interestingly enough there are women who have accompanied me in my exile so there you go and uh that's uh that that's my line in the sand maybe it's more like a line in concrete I'm not going I'm not going to uh I'm not going to live my life walking on eggshells just for women's approval.
And I think this woman needs to make that decision for herself as well. And honestly, it doesn't mean that she'll necessarily be without female company.
She'll just have a better better quality of female company, right? And why would you want anybody in your life that that increases your cortisol load, right? It's just it's not worth it. All right. And on that um on that note, you can decrease my cortisol load and Brian's cortisol load and Hannah's cortisol load by supporting the show at Feed the Bad. See, that's segue. It's so smooth. I'm patting myself on the back for that one. At feedthebadger.comsupport.
>> Very much. very much essential to make sure we can continue to bring you this content and um it's as far as I know it's very unique because we situate the problem right in the relationship between men and women. I do that very explicitly. I don't think any other politics is really more relevant than that. Everything else is downstream of it. If you want to look at it this way, men and women were the first two economic um groups with uh perhaps differing interests in these the human experiment.
And if there is trouble in paradise, it usually originates there. So if you want to be take part in that and also realize that the most important issue to address is the relationship between men and women. And uh as a result, the most important ideology to oppose is the one that insists that the relationship between men and women is not characterized by complimentarianism, cooperation, dare I say love, but oppression, competition, destruction, abuse, and uh their their perennial favorite grape.
then uh support us at feedthebadger.comsupport.
And if you want to send us a message at any time throughout the show, you can do so at feedthebadger.com/just tip. Oh yeah, one more note. The fundraiser, we got three days left on it. We're still at about 4,500 left to go. So please help help. Uh so yeah, and you can do that at feedthebadger.com/support feedbger.comjust to send us a message and badgeration.
And if you want to read more in the more in-depth stuff that I do, it's got less squirreling because when I write things out, I can actually focus on a through line. When I'm talking, I tend to go everywhere. So, it's a little bit a little bit more, I guess, followable, understandable.
So, badgeration.online if you want to read more of my thoughts based on the frameworks that I've established for analysis and all that kind. Just now I did a 20-minute takedown uh of a paper that one of our patrons sent through which basically found or it alleges that it found no association between testosterone and risk-taking.
And what it actually found is that there's no association between testosterone and gambling. But think about the biggest gamblers, old women, [snorts] right? gambling doesn't necess like the the gambling isn't something that necessarily is recruited by testosterone. It's often recruited by other pathways in the brain and they didn't account for that. So their freaking study and the assumption because it all landed on oh it's all socialization because of course it does.
If there's anything that that men do better than women, we have to nullify it and attribute it to socialization, right? It can't even assert that because it hasn't differentiated between gambling that's associated with androgens and gambling that's dissociated with dopagenic rewards which is what the old women are doing. Right.
Okay. So, this 20 minutes took to tear that thing apart. If you're interested in seeing that process, go to badgeration.online.
All right. Take take it away, Brian.
>> All right. So, first we'll start with uh her little opening on this, which basically just sets it up. And uh yeah, let's take a look.
>> Let's talk about why female social dynamics genuinely terrifies me as an autistic [music] woman.
>> All right, so uh just right off the bat, um so we have a couple things, right?
She's afraid of female social dynamics.
what it is about it that's terrifying.
And she uh claims to be autistic. So, and I'm not saying claims I'm not saying that she's not. I'm saying that this is the claim. I don't you know, I'm not sure like how she determined it, but this is what she's telling us. So, >> okay.
>> Um, yeah, go ahead.
>> This isn't be just because you're you're autistic. I think what's happening here is women who aren't autistic get a greater benefit from interacting with other women than autistic women do. So for them the the there's a balance.
There's the congenital warmth that other women give them. I guess there's the mother need that are provided by other women. But then you have the autistic women. They probably don't need as much as that. they don't get as much out of the um affiliative warmth of the oxytocin web. So, they're not getting the initi the incentive and they're pretty much eating the downside which is going to make it more stressful for them.
I just wanted to point that out. But, however, the social problems of women in groups, that's a constant for all women. It's just that I think autistic women don't get the benefit, so they're left with the detriments, the negatives.
All right, let's keep going.
>> All right, so let's get into the first time code.
Um, all right, so 629, right? Uh, we'll go to this bit right here >> from. But yes, with that being said, let's just dive into this video. Let's have this important discussion and let's deconstruct together. Just texted my friend if they wanted to go to lunch and they said, "Sure."
[gasps] Oh, I didn't know that you wanted to sever ties with me. Oh, I didn't know that I was a hideous beast and you hated me. I didn't know that. It's okay. I'll just block your number. You've probably already blocked mine. You probably [ __ ] hate me. You probably have a voodoo at all and you just keep [ __ ] poking it.
>> Okay, wait. Wait.
What? What? Okay, go back here. I need to observe this again >> cuz this specimen of behavior is just insane.
>> What the >> Okay, let's see it. Let's see it.
>> Ban as a response.
Ban the use of sure. Okay, take it away, Brian. Let's look at it again.
>> They said, "Sure."
[sighs and gasps] Oh, I didn't know that you wanted to sabvertise with me. Oh, I didn't know that I was a hideous beast and you hated me. I didn't know that.
>> This is why lesbian relationships have the highest rate of domestic violence and divorce.
>> That escalated quickly.
>> I mean, that really got out of hand fast.
>> Indeed.
Like what?
>> Yeah. Like >> what the >> this I this Go ahead, Al. I'm sorry.
>> Sure. Like what?
That's fine. Like for me, that's like neutral. It's like, okay, good. He She wants to go have lunch with me. What's the rest of this? Does she just have like a a cue of self-destructive thoughts that she just needs to t-shirt cannon onto somebody in her vicinity and and force them to take responsibility for? Like this is okay. Honestly, this behavior sounds borderline.
She sounds like she has some serious mental health issue, some uh personality disorder going on there.
So, but I again like if this is female behavior and I would have to say that this is definitely something I've observed among women at least it's a failure mode that mostly women have.
I I really can't see it with men. Um then yes, this is female behavior. May not be all women. Maybe some women like stop the attributing my own negative thoughts about myself to other people.
train. Maybe they have some perspective.
Maybe this woman is filming this TikTok because she has some perspective and she's like, "Look at what my strange brain did.
Maybe we should watch to the end." Maybe there's a saving throw somewhere in here.
>> Go ahead, Brian.
>> I'll just block your number. You've probably already blocked mine. You probably [ __ ] hate me. You probably have a voodoo doll and you just keep [ __ ] poking it.
Oh, have you watched any good shows recently?
>> Yeah.
>> What the [ __ ] >> What?
>> Okay. So, there was no saving throw unless >> she's giving She's giving Oh, you mean like that? This is like a prank or some kind of like uh bit that she's doing?
>> Yeah, she's a It's a bit I mean, it's it's authentic enough. I've seen this behavior. But, uh >> yeah, even if it's a bit, it's like probably a bit that's trying to like shine a light on a real phenomenon, you know? Oh, god. like where people will basically read into everything too much and it's always like not in their favor which is kind of a narcissistic trait and I know that that word is overused but like when you think that you're uniquely awful it's still about you. So, uh, anyway, because the person did agree to go to lunch, they they said, "Sure."
>> I type I I react I respond that way all the time. Like, if people ask me things, I'll say, "Yeah, sure." And that's it.
>> And I'm I mean, now that I've seen this, I'm like, "Are people reading into that a bunch and thinking that I hate them?"
>> No. No, not if they're men. Although, I have to say that you when you text me fine, it does give me pause. [laughter] I'm like, wait.
But I don't know if that's because I'm a woman or because I'm used to dealing with and I've got like a like a conditioned anxious response to the word fine now.
>> I'm like, is he really probably? I have to I have to do that extra beat. I'm like, "Yeah, yeah, he's probably fine.
>> I don't have to read into this."
Um, but yeah, that's a I I I see that we now have a man on the screen, so I'm guessing he's about to get it with both barrels.
>> Again, this could also just be a bit, but let's let's take a look.
>> But but I do want to point something out.
>> When we look at this, doesn't it make perfect sense that the human race needs a buffer from this kind of behavior?
Like a place where this kind of behavior just sort of dies and stops. Otherwise, we just end up with endless cycles of reading into things negatively and then that sparks somebody else responding negatively because you just read into their motivations negatively and it just goes back and forth and back and forth and then the whole world is just a smoking crater. It's almost like that kind of mentality needs a place where it just like that there's people a group of people that form like a firewall to stop it, you know, that don't actually work off of that kind of logic. You know what I mean? Otherwise, uh the human race would have yeated itself off of Earth long ago. But anyway, let's hear what this guy's going to be dealing with.
>> Okay.
>> Yeah. Actually, I just finished up Severance. The finale was insane.
>> Oh, yeah. Yeah, I heard that one was good.
>> What toppings did you get?
>> Um, I got M&M's.
>> Oh, just M&M's.
>> Yeah, mini M&M's.
>> Cool. Did you want to know what toppings I got?
>> As an autistic one.
>> Oh.
>> Oh my god.
>> So, like the severance thing, I guess he asked him about a show and he basically said, "Yeah, it was awesome." something that he didn't he did not essentially like respond with and what of you think you know or what did you watch or something like he didn't invite her in so and then with the M&M's. Yeah. So I I see I see the anger there. I see that.
>> Sorry ladies guys don't they're not generally we're not like that. Like take the initiative.
[laughter] >> All right. Anyway, >> yeah. You want me to play more or do you want to say something to that?
Sorry, I was just struggling with my mute button. Um, yes, I would imagine that autistic women don't necessarily fall into that because um, you know, if they have a if they have a love of dinosaurs, you will hear about it, right? If they if they got dinosaur shaped sprinkles on their freaking McFlurry, you will hear about it. um you know if they had a particular opinion about the end of that TV show you will hear about it like they don't have to wait to be prompted thus the autism okay let's keep going >> okay >> engaging in group dynamics with other women has honestly been one of the most terrifying social experiences of my life because so much of female socialization relies on covert communication. There's this entire invisible relational network operating underneath the surface at all times. Everyone is subtly tracking each other emotionally, socially, relationally. People are keeping track of who affirmed who, who reciprocated, who mirrored who correctly, who is aligned, who is safe, who is a threat, who belongs, and who >> You know what that is? You know what that is right there, Brian?
That's >> the correlational web >> web that I keep talking about and that I have analyzed the uh >> the nature of and also shows up in all of the writing that women do.
>> The relational topography that's their big cognitive process. That's their big cognitive um task is to map the relationships of everyone in their social sphere to create that topology.
And of course uh I would say that autistic women probably do that as well.
However, they have a twist. They're not mapping people. They're mapping operations. So if you can imagine a web but the nodes are tasks or concrete action like concrete facts or all of that like um things that happen or affect the the real world but they have it in a sort of a web format so that their topology is the topology of operations rather than the topology of relationships.
Um, which is a it's an interesting way to think about autistic women. But anyway, continue.
>> All right.
>> And as an autistic woman, I often feel like everyone else got the manual except me. Now, one of the biggest behaviors that women >> Wait, wait, wait. Yeah, I was going to say I I'm not I I don't know that you have to be autistic to feel like you didn't get the manual on that, but maybe it's because I'm a man because in that sphere and uh I'm glad I don't. I think that there's some uh it has it's not useless, but it's challenging.
>> Um yeah, it probably has its place. I think it's being misappropriate or misused these days. Well, because it's it's being misused because there's no check on it. And there's no check on it because the women who are the most that like have the greatest influence in the relational web have no custodial sense towards anyone else but themselves.
That's why they're consistently insisting that the if you want to have sisterhood, you cannot complain about the behavior of other women. That doesn't that doesn't benefit women. It benefits the women who are predators who have absolutely no sense of responsibility towards other people.
Every woman who says, "Oh, uh, we should all be in our Lilith era or we should have Jezebel energy or we shouldn't be accoman who speaks out against the behavior of other women is a traitor to the sisterhood." She's a predator.
She's the predator who has spun a web of traps and doesn't want to be called out for it. Now, the the existence of a relational web should be able to manage an autistic woman, right? There should be some kind of sense of responsibility to other people in it. That's probably the way it worked in the past when women had the V1 AR cross activation that I keep talking about, you know, and actually were able to engage in custodial monitoring and understanding individuality.
Okay. Now, it doesn't because it's all status orientated, right? And I think ultimately, if I can go on a little bit, >> hold on a second, Alison, I'm sorry.
Hold on. People are saying that your audio is not working. I don't know why though because it's >> Yeah, but I see your activity just fine.
Like >> are you guys Can you guys hear me?
>> Oh goodness.
>> I want to see if they can hear me. Let me let me listen back to it. Hold on a second. I'm just gonna >> No, I can hear you just fine. No, it's working.
>> What the heck? No.
>> Wes Wolver and Philip Williams, would you guys Can anybody else hear us?
Because I can hear us.
>> Um I mean I checked I just went back into the video and listened.
>> Yeah. So uh double check that your peering is working. I guess or what I was going to say is that the admonition for women to submit to men may actually be even more like wide like a have a wider kind of effect because I first of all I don't think submit really captures what's happening but it's like this but it actually takes what's happening and translates it into relational web terms which are hierarchical but what's happening really isn't submission it's engaging in a relationship that's ultimately complimentarian and understanding that your most fundamental relationship is cooperative and comp complimentarian which provides like a balanced like a place where that relational web thinking doesn't apply and if it's women's most important relationship it creates more of a contrast or a a way of evaluating their behavior within the weight relationship you see what I'm saying [snorts] >> like it it creates Um, it creates a Okay, I can't find the words for it. I'm sorry, guys. But I will I'll think about what the right word is. I'll just leave that right there. We can continue.
>> Okay. Uh, yeah, there's another minute or so. Please, guys, send in a super cow or super chat or something if you want to comment on this. All right, so I got another minute left in this uh time code >> dynamics exhibit that genuinely scares me is the giving to get dynamic. This is basically when women perform care and it's not necessarily because they want to, although it can come from genuine care, but the primary reason for them performing care is to actually get their own needs met by you. Usually this behavior is born from women not being able to directly communicate when they have a need. And so the only way to get a need met is to first do it for another person because now that person is obligated to do the same thing back for you in >> Okay.
I don't know if you want to say anything to that or if I should just keep playing.
Alison, you're muted again, >> right?
>> Yeah. I wanted uh Yeah. I mean, the reciprocal care thing.
H Yeah, that is a difficult one to navigate.
Um, I just, uh, personally I just sort of do things almost compulsively without really an expectation of return. Um, I got a uh, a burr on me. That happened.
Oh, >> probably.
>> Yeah. So she's so she's saying that um she's basically like maybe that maybe she is autistic because she's basically saying it seems like women only show care because they're expecting something back and it's like a weird thing that I don't quite understand and it's like yeah I get that and you could say that it's just become like transactional but I I don't know like if you would you do something for someone who's never done anything for do. Yeah, some people would. Would you would you do it frequently or would you just not really think about it? Like as as a man, I don't think about it. I mean, I'm going to say as a man the way I am is I don't think about it. Like, you know, I just help people out, you know, if they if if I can and if they need it.
>> That's it. And it's purely based on what I you know what I don't generally expect anything.
>> Um so maybe that's the difference. But yeah.
>> Yeah. Well, I mean, it might be um I would honestly say that she's giving women who do this a bit of credit by saying, "Oh, they have no other way to ask for what they want." I think what the intent is is that you control the obligation and you can create obligation whenever you want is more the uh the the effect of that. But um yeah, I let's let's continue.
>> Okay.
>> In the name of reciprocity. How many siblings did you say you had?
>> Uh, I have two. I have two brothers.
>> Oh my gosh, that must have been so fun growing up with two brothers.
>> Okay, let me go back a little bit to see what that there's a there's some text on the screen here. Uh, asking people questions about them just so they can ask you questions about you because you don't feel like you're allowed to talk about yourself otherwise. Okay, so that's >> that's not accurate. That's that is definitely self- victimization, right? Okay. If you didn't feel like you're allowed to talk to yourself otherwise, you wouldn't have the expectation that they would ask after you. You're creating, this is actually control freakery. You are doing something for somebody else. So, you create obligation in them, which means you control the process of obligation, right? That's That's not what is it? Cuz you don't feel like you're allowed to talk about yourself otherwise. Nonsense, right? That's nonsense. That's a self That's a lie. It's an egop preserving lie. You're pretending you're a victim of your own control freakery.
Um what you're doing is you're creating an obligation. And if you really didn't think you had the right to talk about yourself, you wouldn't have this entitlement and this sense of resentment if the person doesn't fulfill the obligations that you chose to give them.
>> Now, I'm not sure why women do this, but this is uh it's it's a bit ridiculous. If you just want to talk about something, just talk about it, right? And the and I think it's just maybe it's because they're worried about rejection. Like if they just talk about whatever experience they want to talk about, then they're afraid that the person that they're talking to will be like, "I'm not interested." So they have to precreate the obligation to close off the rejection or they're pre-creating the obligation so it feels like the person is coming to them, which is ego gratification.
like I I don't see this as this is like um because you don't feel like you're allowed to talk about yourself otherwise. That's nonsense because again, if that was true, you wouldn't have the feeling of entitlement after having made the obligation.
I think it's much better answered by you're a control freak. If you want to talk about something, talk about it and accept the potential of rejection and accept that you are the one beseeching someone else, right? You're the one who's uh you since you can't create the pre preload with obligation with the other person, you are introducing the topic and they get to decide to reject or receive it. They're not beseeching you anymore, which I think is really what this is doing. You create the obligation. Then the person asks you, which is a beseeching.
So they're trying to induce submission in other people through this action. And then when it doesn't land, when it gets no sailed and they're like, "Yeah, no, I'm not interested in playing your dominance game." They get they get angry.
That's entitlement plus entitlement plus entitlement plus entitlement.
Just talk about what you want to talk about and deal with the fact that that means the person you're talking to can reject or receive it and you don't get to get the uh ego boost of having them beseech you with a question.
You see what I'm saying? It's like court. The question is courting.
>> The question is going to somebody else and giving them the option to answer or not. That's what she's trying to elicit.
And that none of that is victimhood unless you presume that your entitlements are owed to you. That the obligations that you've induced into another person are genuine obligations that you are entitled to cash in. And that you forcing another person to beseech you to treat you as the dominant party and them as the submissive courting uh beseeching party is somehow another entitlement that you're owed.
And that's why her face doesn't look victimized.
It looks affronted.
Do you see that?
>> Mhm.
Yeah, I do. It is entitlement. It's entirely.
>> I mean, if you want to talk about your siblings, just talk about them.
>> Yeah.
>> But you don't want to. You want to be asked to. You want people to to have to take an active interest in you so that you can talk about yourself.
>> Yeah. But from a position of strength because they have taken the interest.
You see what I'm saying?
>> Mhm.
>> You are in position now to refuse or deny their interest which you have actually induced in them with this preloaded obligation. And of course, autistic women walk into this and they just share, you know, they they want to talk about something, they talk about it. They don't do the pre-obligation thing. They just lay it out there. And I wonder I I'd have to think a bit about how that would be received by someone who does the whole pre-obligation uh dominance move.
I would imagine that they would not treat that very charitable charitably.
They would probably see that as the autistic woman being entitled somehow to their time.
>> Yeah.
>> Because they haven't done the dance of preloading obligation. They just said instead just went right in with it.
Or maybe it's exposing the bones of this entire thing. But yeah, I can see why this would have um this woman would have ended up on the wrong side of this particular ridiculous dominance exchange. Okay.
All right. Uh I got a super cow from official reverse traditionalism channel on YouTube for $10 and they say your audio is fine, just fine. And that includes this video. So >> from the Department of Interior.
>> Oh yes. How are you?
>> Fine. Just fine.
>> Fine. Just fine.
>> Fine. Fine. Just fine. Fine. Just fine.
Fine. Just fine. Just fine.
>> Just fine.
>> Fine. Just fine.
>> Fine. Just fine.
>> Okay. Thank you. Um, yeah, if you guys send like a a YouTube link that's really short, I might play it. No promises, though. All right. Uh, let's see. This has a little bit more left in it, so Oh, now there's no sound, of course.
Hold on.
I got to do this over again.
All right.
>> And so this becomes an issue when women end up overextending themselves and offering love and care to other people when they genuinely don't want to and aren't capable of it. How of >> All right.
[clears throat] Uh you want me to This was the the the length of the time code, but I can play more if you're interested or I can because they they offer love or that's not love. They offer affiliation to people when they don't when they have ulterior motives and they want something. So that sounds like the uh nice guy.
>> It does, doesn't it?
>> The much condemned nice guy. Sounds like women are doing the nice guy thing.
>> H >> interesting. Even then, she gives that that those women the benefit of the doubt >> and says, "Oh, yeah, it might be." You know, often coming from a real place of care and concern.
>> Nope.
>> I mean, that's what she's saying.
>> Yeah. And also, I think that they misunderstand the nice guy thing. You know, it is possible for a man to want to get to know a woman before he expresses any sexual interest in her.
>> Yeah.
>> Right. That's that that is a thing that happens.
But also, this is apparently a dynamic that women engage in. So, no wonder they project it onto men and fundamentally don't understand it. Um, but yeah. Okay, let's uh actually before we continue, I just want to remind everybody we are doing our monthly fundraiser feebadger.com/support.
Please help out. In fact, I'm try I've try I'm have this new plugin and I want to make sure it works. So, even if you just like could go and put in, and I don't want to say even if you go, anybody out there who just wants to do like five bucks, 10 bucks, just go to feedthebadger.com/support and put it through so I can make sure that this is all working. Um, that would be really appreciated. Just take the time. I know you want to listen to our duulit tones and our great and cosmic wisdoms, but please take the time to go to feedthebadger.com/support and put something in so I can make sure the plug-in works and we can start moving this towards the goal, which is keeping going, you know, handing the baton off to another month of Honeybadger Radio. All right, continue, Brian.
>> All right, I'm going to go to the next time code 919.
Okay, >> I got >> and let me look at the uh hold on.
>> Love and care back to them.
>> What toppings did you get?
>> So, this is the same video where you talking about the M&M's, but there's comments on the screen.
>> Um, >> so it says here, I take it as they don't care. Like, this is like how these people are reacting to this guy. How do they treat it? Uh, another one says like, "I didn't realize I was interviewing you. I'm an open book. It's all blank pages." They're not interested. That's why they don't ask questions. Move on immediately. Stop trying to teach them your time is valuable. This is why the three strikes rule exists. Three questions asked and no questions returned means you're out.
So, this is at women getting angry at this at this clip.
>> I got M&M's.
>> Oh, just M&M's. Yeah. Mini M&M's.
>> Cool. Did you want to know what toppings I got? And this becomes an issue for people.
>> I have a I actually have a hilarious anecdote from this. Right.
Okay. I don't know if I've I've said this, but that's just a man doing what men do. The sharing an experience of your toppings is not the first place where they go. They're just you've just initiated tax a very shallow task loop for him. What are my toppings? Well, these are my toppings. task loop completed. That's it. It's the way he thinks. And um often you're expecting men to operate in a register that they don't natively occupy. And I'm going to I'm going to use sort of an amusing anecdote with my husband Jonathan.
Right. So, we went to the city to pick something up that uh um we had to he had to I was going doing a medical thing. he had to go to the to the guy who had like um meat and uh pick the pick it up, right? And uh while I was away and when he finally picked me up from my appointment, I asked him, "Okay, so what did you guys talk about?" Because I was curious. And he said, "Oh, we just were talking about, you know, uh grazing stuff like that, like farmer shit." And um and I said, "Oh, okay. All right, cool." And um and then we he he wanted to go find these Fallout sodas. So we spent like an hour trying to go to like cos and other places to try to find these sodas. And then when we couldn't find them and the task loop completed, he told me, "Oh, by the way, he talked about men's issues."
And I'm like, would that not be the most salient thing to tell me when I asked considering and he and he he said, 'Y yeah, I told him that my wife talks about men's issues on her podcast. And I'm like, why did it take until this task loop was completed for you to act?
And that's exactly it. The task loop was initiated and the salient social details were suppressed until the task loop was completed. Right? And so what these women are doing is they're demanding men think in a way that they don't.
Right? The cognitive load is on completing task loops. Maybe when you get in between one, you might get the social register like the things that are that you think are more salient and he doesn't. And if you don't want a man, get yourself a woman. But you know, there are some serious detriments to getting a woman. suicide, domestic abuse, sexual abuse, divorce. You know, you have to consider that. You have to consider that you're going to have two people reading the worst into each other in a relationship rather than a person who's going to read the worst, but the other person is just going to be like, "Okay, that's not what I meant." Instead of being like, "I can't believe I can't believe you, Susan. I can't believe that you did that. That you said that. Oh my god, Susan. I'm punching you now. I'm punching you now. I'm beating you now.
I'm stabbing you now. Like is because you both are doing the hysteria thing.
You're feeding off of each other. So instead of having somebody who says, "Okay, I'm sorry. That's not what I meant." You have somebody who's then taking offense at your negative reading into her intentions. So now you have a feedback loop of absolute chaos and violence. So if you want that, do the female route. Now, this may not have been the case for lesbians like two generations ago, right? But it is definitely now because almost all women are oxytocin generalists. So, they do not have a break on this crazy train.
No, I'm not going to I'm not going to speak to the old school like the old school non-political lesbians that used to exist generations ago, right?
But the ones now have the same problem that all women have in our culture. Too much safety has not led to getting that V1 AR activated, which is a break on this bad faith hysteria.
Okay? So, you make your choice. You want another woman, you are going to probably at some point end up in the hysteria negative feedback loop, which is going to lead to domestic violence. It's going to lead probably to domestic murder.
It's going to not probably since it's a small amount, but it still is quite a bit there. It's going to lead to divorce. It's going to lead to a a massive radioactive crater in your social landscape. Right? That's that's what you get when you put two hysteria machines together. I'm going to use the word hysteria because this is hysteria.
And that's not what you get when you have one party being like, "Uh, wait, no, I didn't." Who actually takes responsibility instead of projecting bad faith back onto you.
>> Yeah.
>> Okay. Now, I' I've done my bio essentialist thing for the day. Let's keep going.
>> Okay. All right.
Uh, let me see. Yeah, there's more to this.
>> Who take things literally as a default?
There's been so many times throughout my life where a woman will compliment me, for example. I will just say, "Thank you, right?" And I won't necessarily return the compliment back because to me, it's just like I see it as you noticing something and wanting to compliment me. And I'm going to receive that compliment, that gesture, and let it actually sink in and appreciate it.
And so in moments where I'm not returning a compliment back, it will pretty immediately be interpreted as me actively rejecting this person.
>> God, I imagine I can't I can't live like that. Like if somebody if I give a compliment, I just give one. I don't I don't I don't wait to hear them give one back. Like why? When where does it end?
[laughter] like we're just farming for compliments. Uh anyway, so yeah, compliment farming, I guess. It's like if you are upset that you didn't get a thank you in return, why did you give a thank you to begin with? Like why start the chain? Unless you think the only reason to do it is because you're getting something out of it. Uh I don't know. That makes me crazy.
What is there to thank you for? I don't know >> and their needs. And it makes a lot of sense, right? Because if someone's complimenting you because they genuinely want to, they're not going to interpret you saying thank you as rejection, right? But if someone is complimenting you specifically for you to compliment them back, and you don't compliment them back, of course, they're going to interpret your lack of complimenting them back as you actively rejecting them and not >> Yeah. But then it's not a compliment.
It's not it's not a you know it's not freely given. It's conditional. So it's worthless anyway.
>> Well, it's basically it's basically tithing to the the social web. But you're right. It is >> if it's not freely given, then what are you complimenting?
>> Yeah.
But like what you're doing is you're wanting you're you're wanting you're actually complimenting yourself. You're like uh it's very odd. And it's probably one of the reasons why I've consistently been alienated from female groups.
That's a Yeah, that's a thing. Okay, let's keep going.
>> All right.
>> Liking them. Does that make sense? And obviously as an autistic person, I'm not going to know why you're doing something to me. I'm not going to interpret the underlying meaning behind it. And this is why I think over time I've grown to be very weary and almost skeptical and cynical of the love, care, and connection that women offer me because I never really know how genuine it is or whether or not this woman is only saying or doing certain things because it's expected, it's normal, or they need something from me. But also, >> I mean, I wouldn't get upset about it, you know? I would just associate with people who actually want the best for me and not the people who see our whole like u relationship as just like this I don't know like this obligation like that's just like filled with obligations.
That grosses me out. I got a Rumble rant from Nova for a dollar. Thank you, Nova.
And he says, "The most paranoid inducing feminine behavior I have ever had to deal with deal for men was either walking on eggshells because he's mentally unstable or putting up with feminine men."
All right. Yeah, it's No, you don't want I don't want to live like that. I don't want to live like that.
And I think this girl actually is probably has women like this in her orbit, which is why she's made this video, obviously. But it's really probably really hard for her because it's like, wait, so you're not really my friends because I mean, she's not going to land on that, I don't think. But that's what it sounds like. It sounds like you're around a bunch of people and maybe this is like a you know like this entire network of women that you're in.
They're not they don't really like each other that much but they're just sort of like using each other for emotional, you know, stability or like a sense of belonging, but like nothing outside of that. I don't know if that makes sense.
Alison, do you want to say anything to that or?
>> Yeah, I'll say. Yeah.
>> Okay. Sure.
[laughter] >> It's fine. Fine. It's fine.
>> Fine. Okay. There's a little bit left in this clip and then I'll I'll just pause it and let you talk.
>> You're going to hold it against me when I'm not going to immediately jump into doing the same things back for them.
Right. It's like, am I a dog? Just because you throw a treat at me doesn't mean that I now owe you something.
Right? If you want something, ask me and I can figure out whether or not I'm willing to do it for you. It is.
>> Oh yeah.
>> Yeah. But then then you are in position of declining, right? You don't understand that that it's all about being in a position of creating pre-obligation so you aren't in a position to decline.
And it's it's I don't know. It's like women just seem to at least women like this just seem to their native registers catch 22s everywhere.
>> And um and I >> I don't think that this is necessarily normal female. I mean it's normal female behavior completely absent any kind of survival threat which would have been present throughout all of human history. So what we're seeing now is be female behavior driven to an extreme based on the fact that they don't have to interact with reality anymore.
So they live entirely in these kind of webs, these top topologies that never have to actually address real things that have to happen like getting the crop off, harvesting the potatoes, you know, making sure the chickens don't die of mange or whatever. Like these are physical operations that take the female mind and put them in the real world. And that doesn't happen anymore. Everything is avocado toast and symbols. And that means any kind of uh operation can be deferred to someone else.
So, so I want to I want to repeat that.
I think that this uh is not likely the behavior of the woman throughout human history, particularly when literally at I mean at some point female homminids had a much closer relationship to a dangerous environment than they did after agriculture, you know, and definitely after the industrial revolution. So you got to consider that this is this is um this is a failure mode of the female brain, but it's a failure mode we likely have not encountered since like the Bronze Age palace herum economies um you know for for millennia, right? So this is this is a failure mode that's definitely particular to women's brains but probably not as common as you think based on this society.
because it's everywhere in our society because everything is too comfortable. I mean, even if you take urban women versus rural women, you see a difference like rural women have more of a stoicism, more of a sense of efficacy in the world, right? They they adhere to values that are closer to masculine values. And it's because they live at an edge where they know that there is animals that pre prey on humans that there is weather that can destroy you, you know, and there are conditions that need to be met to survive. So there's a difference there and you know women in poverty probably are in a similar situation. So even in our own cultures there's a gradient and I think that gradient exactly matches how much survival threat a woman is actually experiencing in her life and if it's minimal like her only survival threat is the the number on the scale I guess then you are going to get this behavior the pure failure mode of femininity.
Okay.
All right. Uh, let's see. 14. Yeah, here we go.
There's another minute left >> with a woman. They will just disappear out of nowhere and you don't even know what happened. And then often times when you do talk to them about it, the conversations at that point not even helpful. It's not about conflict resolution. It's just about accusing you and it's about letting out the resentment because at that point they already identify you as a bad person because that's what it takes for them to walk away from you or to finally communicate their issues with you. And there's just something deeply wrong about that where women feel like the only way to justify their frustration, their resentment, is to definitively label someone as a bad person in order to finally say, "How could you have done this? How could you have missed this?
How could you have made this mistake again and again?" those days where I talked to you less. How could you have not seen that there was an issue there and the issue was this and you should have done this in order to resolve the issue. I shouldn't have brought it up to you. You should have saw the signs and the signals. You should have known.
>> How has he not noticed that?
>> So yeah.
Um so basically you get in trouble for something you didn't know you did and then when you they won't talk to you about it. They won't explain where it comes from or what happened. And when if you do manage to sit them down, they just attack you. They've just decided you're guilty. That's basically Yeah.
Welcome to everything men deal with all the time [laughter] where we don't know what we did. You know, men, we don't know what we did because you don't the women don't want to talk to them about it in general.
They just expect men to like intuitit it and just be like able to read it. And that it's childish. It's childish. It's like it's like when a baby's crying, you got to figure out what the baby wants.
The only reason why you can't figure it out is because the baby can't talk. When your dog is barking at you, you know, and like circling you you you have a few guesses as to what he wants, but the dog can't talk. So, you have to kind of like, you know, try different things to see. But he doesn't resent you for not knowing. The baby's not angry at you.
It's just like he just pooped his pants or he's hungry or he's tired or whatever. With human women that are able to speak words, [laughter] we should expect that they will be able to tell us, but they I don't know. I don't know what it is. I think that they feel unsafe if people can't intuitit their needs. I think that's why they are are the way they are. But that's just a guess.
They feel unsafe because it means that there are people who are not paying attention to them, you know.
>> Yeah. Well, their best chance at getting someone who intuitits their needs is a husband and not a wife.
Um, and even then, you know, like you might want to actually give your husband a chance.
um and understand how men work. So you don't expect him to ask like this. This is the funny thing. This guy has probably done a ton of stuff that required him to intuit it what she wanted, right? And she doesn't even see it because it's invisible. And that's the point. He doesn't want to actually put that on her. how much he does actually do in order to make her life easier. You know, probably things that she doesn't even realize because they just happen and they are invisible because the thing that they prevented didn't happen. You see what I'm saying? Jonathan or Jonathan? Brian.
>> Yeah.
>> Sorry.
>> Sorry, Brian. [laughter] >> Godamn.
You know, I sometimes call Jon and Brian, too. That's That's really awkward. [laughter] Um, [snorts] but yeah, like they they they intuit it like things that need to happen to prevent something and you never know because the thing that they prevented didn't happen. So it's like something you don't notice things that didn't happen, right? And she he's probably doing all kinds of stuff like that for her, but he's not as capable of understanding things in terms of relational web thinking because that's not his native modality. So he doesn't understand that she's creating an obligation for him to and if he does honestly ladies if there's anybody listening if there's any lady out there smart enough to actually be listening to us rather than manifest um if he does understand the social web run do not walk run those men are actually genuinely dangerous >> because their cognitive their cognitive center isn't in custodial monitoring.
It's in relational manipulation.
Those are the sociopaths and that's why they're so attractive to women because they can model how women think, but they do so in the same way that, you know, cats make sounds that sound like they're prey or uh leopards have spots so they they are camouflaged. It's because they use that as camouflage and they use that as enticement. You know, like the the the deep we deep sea fish with the with the light, that's what they're doing.
>> Yeah.
>> I mean, it's a small subset of men, but that's what they're doing.
So, if the guy is if the guy is verbally fluent and he isn't like a trouidor who's had to learn to be that way and had to uh cultivate the skill over decades, then um that actually is a bad that actually is a red red flag because again the the the weight of cognitive processing isn't in the custodial, it's in the relationship management And men who are in relationship management as opposed to custodial don't actually give a [ __ ] about you. So the guy this guy being like I I didn't ask you about your co your that's exactly what you want. I mean if he did it's is not necessarily like a uh like a huge red flag. I don't want to oversell it.
He might just um I don't know. He might just have learned from previous relationships what to do.
>> Yeah. But uh but if gen in general he's that fluid, especially right off the bat, that's not a good thing. There's a reason why they call it the sociopathic personality style and that it's particularly attractive to women.
It's because it is relationally manipulative in the way women are. But then again, that means their cognitive center of gravity isn't in that custodial layer. It's in that relational layer. And that's not a good sign for a man. Okay, let's keep going. All right, I got another super cow and then I'll play the rest of this. There's like 10 or so seconds left in this one. About Yeah, about 10 seconds. Great. Endors gives us $5 and says, "Oblatory superchild for relational web purposes."
So anyway, nice outfits the both of you are wearing today. I could never have the courage to wear anything quite like it. Hi. He he twirls hair and shoots daggers.
Okay, >> I really appreciate the super chats, but could somebody just take a moment to go to feedthebadger.com/support and put something through so I know that this is working.
feedthebadger.com/support.
>> You have to check the vos on that, too.
I don't know.
>> Yeah. No, I am checking the vos. I'm not >> Okay. Okay.
>> Like just five bucks. Anybody just go there support >> harassing you to do this.
>> Yeah.
>> Up to you. You should have saw the signs and the signals. You should have known.
How has he not noticed that I'm mad at him? We haven't talked in 20 minutes. I hear it all the time, whether it's relationship, friendship, or whatever.
This overarching theme of they should have known, you should have known. And I >> Yeah, basically it's uh Yeah. Uh unworkable.
All right. So, yes, that that I mean that's okay. 1659. Next one.
Oh, 1659.
>> This is why women need to be on farms.
Here, here, hear me out. This is why women need to homestead. Okay. When you know, there's 20 minutes of silence for a woman who's homesteading. That's going to be filled with, okay, which which chickens are gimpy and I have to rotate into like the the the the uh convolescence hut. uh where are the the cows cving? What's happening with the lambs? You know, that kind of thing.
Where what crop rotation needs? All of the stuff that occupies the brain of somebody who has to manage a working farm starts to fill that space. It's probably why the Bible is really clear.
I think it's Proverbs 31. You know, the woman who is a good wife is busy doing things that materially benefit her family.
even uh investing funds in things, just doing something that actually is materially benefiting people other than herself and isn't like a status play. It's it's it's about building something, you know, it's because we need to occupy those 20 minutes with something other than why is he ignoring me? He hates me. She He must think I'm a ugly beast. I I can't believe that he would do this to me. you know, that needs to be occupied with chickens, eggs, egg aprons, uh, taking care of kids, taking care of animals, taking care of vegetables, you know, that that's what needs to go there.
That's just my theory or conjecture. It isn't proven. All right.
>> Mhm. Okay.
to know when you're hurt, to know when you have a certain need, a certain expectation, unless you have already talked to them about it directly and given them a chance to show you whether or not they're able to implement that knowledge into the relationship. And a lot of female dynamics are born from them genuinely thinking it's a reasonable expectation that other people should know what they should and shouldn't do, say and shouldn't say without an overt explicit conversation about it.
So, she's basically just detest the idea of the this expectation um like that like there's non-communication happening, but you're supposed to just know. Oh, God. I I I'm with you, lady. I am 100% with you. So, um and uh yeah, no, I won't I won't do it. I I won't do it.
And you end up in a situation where you have to like check in on people like, "Are you okay? What's on your mind? What are you thinking? Oh god, I can't do it.
Uh, just tell me. Just [ __ ] tell me, dude.
I'm going to ignore you. I'm going to ignore you until you just tell me." So, um, Alison, do you want to say anything or should I keep going?
All right, I'm going to keep going then.
All right, so what? No, what are we at now?
>> I was muted. I'm trying to figure out if the fundraiser is not working or if nobody's actually going.
[laughter] Once again, feedthebadger.com/support.
Can somebody put me out of my misery?
Like five bucks, 10 bucks, just so I know that this is actually working because I had to do a whole bunch of stuff. Um, all right. Okay, let's keep going.
Because women are taught to be agreeable, to not complain, to not directly express their needs, to avoid overt confrontation.
>> Okay, pause it there.
>> Honestly think >> Do you honestly think men are wanting this?
>> She's saying women are taught this to that that was what I was going to point out. Women are taught not to be confrontational. So there it's completely out of their control, guys.
They can't help it. They were they were socialized to be like this.
>> They like nobody like men don't want them to be like this. Like this as we can see because she uses this as a framing for female autist. But what this is directed at is at men. Men are the ones who are going to be hurting as a result of this behavior. Not the women.
The women are the ones who are getting angry and abusing the men for behaving in a way consistent with how men are.
Right? You see what I'm saying? So then she's turning around and saying, "Well, who's socializing them to do it this way? It's not men. Do you think men want women angry at them?
Do you think this is some kind of conspiracy for men to be like, I want my wife to be pissed at me and emotionally abuse me and nag me? That's that's what that's my those are goals in my life."
No, the you you are you are taking the one who has the entitlement, has the abusive mindset, and you're blaming her behavior on her victim, which is the man. And I know that this is all like said in justest, right? It's said like, "Oh, this is just humorous what these women are doing to their partners." But I would argue that no, we we make it humorous because we want to deflect from it. But this is actually abusive.
Creating these catch 22s that your partner gets sucked into is abusive behavior.
Like flat out. So she's essentially saying that women can't help the fact that they're abusive. Well, then they should be taken out of every position of power and any kind of control over children.
H is that what you want to say about women?
Women are just taught to be abusive and they can't control it. All right. Well, if that's the case, then women can't be in positions of responsibility over anyone.
>> I don't have any more to say.
>> All right.
>> Instead of directly telling you there's an issue, many women will continue smiling at you. They'll continue acting friendly toward you, all while resentment is actually quietly building underneath the surface. And so when the day finally comes where they suddenly ghost you, they cut you off, they turn cold, you're left sitting there trying to reverse engineer what happened. Was it my tone? Was it my body language? Was it something I forgot to say? Was it something I said too bluntly? Did I not text back fast enough? Did I fail to emotionally mirror them correctly? Did I unknowingly violate some sort of invisible social contract? And because nobody explicitly tells you what happened, you end up trapped in this cycle of hypervigilance and selfanalysis.
This is why so many autistic people when dealing with these sorts of relational dynamics, we end up just ruminating on what could have went wrong. What did we do wrong? And we >> It's their fault. [ __ ] them. That's what I say. It's their fault. Just Just get on with your life. If they're going to act that way, don't don't engage. Be like, "Look, >> I'm not the kind of person that does this." They're if they know you're autistic according to your, you know, what you say is true, then they're the ones being insensitive.
And instead of like rather like, you know, sort of countering resentment with more resentment, just check out. Just say, "Look, I'm not doing this. I'm not playing these games." Cuz that's what they are. They're games. They're testing you to see how much you care about them because they're insecure.
Uh, Coloid says, "Why is she applying her mental illness everyone?" She's not.
She's just talking about her experience.
But what she doesn't realize, I don't know what her channel is really about cuz I I I I don't watch her content or anything, but what she doesn't realize is that what she's expressing, the frustration is like most men know this.
They they have this we make we make jokes about it. We have ways to sort of like, you know, talk about it. Um, but it's not it's not like a thing that autistic women deal with. I think it's for people who are normalrained maybe. I don't know. I don't I don't want to be mean, but like I don't think you have to be on the spectrum to recognize that that's like kind of abusive behavior. It is abusive. So anyway, um somebody send in some support cuz Allison's like distracted. She can't she can't actually comment on the video right now, it appears.
Uh that's the end of that time code. No, the the next one like links right into this one though, so I'm just going to play it from here. She's going to talk about the Yeah. more of this hypervigilant stuff.
>> End up just picking ourselves apart for probably hundreds of reasons that don't even matter. But it's because, >> you know, what's interesting is that you're overthinking what these people are doing to you. And what these people have done, these other women have done is a product of their own overthinking.
So, you're overthinking, they're overthinking, and this is why you should just be direct. But, you know, women are the great communicators, guys. They they know how to communicate. They're they're emotionally intelligent, you know. Uh, Novaan 21 gives us a dollar and says, "The only blame I put on anything manlated are the simps who protect my lady, a woman's crying. We must tear up the Constitution to remedy the lady's distress." Nah, f them. Thank you, Nova.
Yeah, that yeah, that that's a problem.
White knights are a big problem. Okay, >> we don't know what happened that we have to just keep looking for what went wrong. Think about it. You know, if there's any neurotypical non-aututistic person watching this, when you're non-aututistic, you could generally understand, okay, I see why this person's frustrated with me, or I could see why this falling out happened. I did this or I failed to do this. But as an autistic person, you could genuinely be so so so lost as to what you could have said or did wrong, how you could have failed. And so from our point of view, you could be doing the most trying to maintain a relationship and then out of nowhere someone disappears or out of nowhere someone doesn't like you anymore and then you're immediately faced with a consequence without even knowing that the consequence was coming.
>> Yeah. You got to you got to just accept it. Like um women don't integrate certain types of uh individuals well and you just have to accept it.
and um move on with your life.
>> Yeah. Interesting. Like >> I'm not exactly sure what it is that's so critical about being part of this the relational web. The the the the truth is that this relational web has almost no connection to any kind of resources and for the most part is just destructive.
Like I'm not saying that all relational webs are like that, but modern-day relational webs for women are incredibly destructive and toxic and they're probably not worth being part of.
you you you remove it from your life.
It's like defing a toxic relative. You remove it from your life and you're going to find it a lot better. Now, of course, with normal more normal women, they they have mother need or whatever it is that keeps them adhering to the the toxic expectations of the sisterhood and um so they're not going to be able to exit it. But as an autistic woman, you you should be able to have a little bit more leeway on that.
And it's it's not your fault. Like people will say that you exiting the sisterhood and you deciding not to play by the relational webs rules is some kind of failing. It's not. You have every right to set those boundaries and say, "No, I'm not going to deal with women who try to silence me. I'm not going to deal with women who play these stupid games. I'm not going to deal with women who are overtly abusive and think that this is an acceptable way to conduct a relationship using catch 22s and and preloading obligation because they're they don't want to deal with the potential of rejection or they want to make you into a supplicant. That was the word, a supplicant, right? All of this behavior is utterly toxic and it's showing up in their own statistics like the statistics of normal women. They're miserable.
And the more objective you look at in terms of measures like um health days missed, SSRIs, um diagnosis of mental health disorders, the more you look at the more concrete measures, the more miserable like even more miserable women have gotten over the generations as this has this social web has become more entrenched and toxic. So why would you want to take part in that? Like what benefit do you get out of it? like these women don't control any resources, right? And how much benefit do you get out of like this this vague ail warmth and affiliation if you know at the end of the day it hides a bunch of meat hooks that could tear you apart emotionally? Like just be like, "Yeah, no, that's okay. I'm good. I'm fine."
And if you're able to do that, that doesn't make you a bad woman. You're not obligated to them. Now, that's the big thing. None of us are obligated to a toxic relational web created by a sisterhood of predators. Predators.
We're not obligated to what was the the the female spider in in um in uh Lord of the Rings. I forget the name.
>> Sheilob.
>> Yeah. You're not obligated to Sheilob and Sheilob's sisters, right? You're not obligated to take part.
It's not necessary.
It's not It's not It doesn't make you a bad person to just walk away from it.
>> Yeah. She's still kind of also worrying about her like this whole thing. She's still concerned about her position within the the web as well. So, >> yeah.
>> And that's why this video exists.
>> Yeah. She she still wants to be part of it, but the thing is that it's not going to change.
Maybe what you can do is step out of it and create a web that's healthier, like a set of relationships that are less toxic if you need that from other women.
>> But uh you're just not going to get it from the current relational web. You are not going to get a fair shake. You know, maybe you're you're thinking you can exchange the recognition of your victimhood as a as an autistic woman for a fair shake in the sisterhood. Eh, no.
Because they don't fundamentally understand the mentality of autistic people, right? And all you'll get is condescension and becoming someone's pet. You want that? It's its own kind of misery.
All right, let's keep going. All right, I got a super cow from official reverse traditionalism channel on YouTube for $5 and they say the fundraiser is in fact not working for me.
>> Oh, for God's sake. So, that's what it is.
>> Yeah.
>> Does any Does anybody else have this problem?
[sighs] >> Okay, I will start the next section.
It's not >> what >> Well, that explains it.
>> Yeah.
>> All right. All right, I'm going to play the next section called inshment. So, here we go.
>> Thing about female dynamics that genuinely scares me is how much we're socialized to imsh with each other. Now, for those of you who may not know what imshment means, it is basically a relationship pattern where emotional boundaries are so blurred that individuals lose their sense of self.
This is very very very prominent within female dynamics. Imshment is so so so deeply ingrained in how women tend to bond with other people. I am you. You are me. There's nothing I say or do that you wouldn't say or do and therefore you shouldn't say or do things that I wouldn't. Right? That there's this constant need to like be as similar to each other and assimilated to each other as possible. I remember a lot of my fe >> I'm gonna pause it there just you know for the banana. There's more to the to to this than that but go ahead.
>> All right. So I want to do a big shout out to uh the great indoors who put $750 through the old project for the fundraiser or the old um product for the fundraiser. So thank you. I'm guessing it's because current one doesn't work which is really unfortunate and that would explain why nobody's put anything through for the last two days. Um, that's really unfortunate, but thank you for getting the work around and I can apply this manually. So, I appreciate it. And, um, I don't know. I guess uh I guess guys, for now, you can go to feedthebadger.combadger-media-blitz.
Badger. Let me just double check that media blitz. And put it through the old link.
Nope, that's the same one. So, I don't even Oh, wait. Prod, it's uh products badger. So, okay. So, it is feedthebadger.coms/badger-media-blitz and you can put it through there and um and I will put it through to the current fundraiser manually. I do have a message to them about a horse, of course, and hopefully they'll get back to me and we can get this fixed. So, it is true that it's broken. Thank you. I'm glad we could do this wonderful um wonderful Oh, god damn.
>> Thanks for getting it working. Well, >> 60% of the time it works every time.
>> Two anchor man sound bites in one show.
All right. Um, so, uh, play a little bit more of this one.
Friends would change what they were wearing or looking like depending on what I was choosing to wear and look like. Little things like if I was going out with a friend, she would call me ahead of time and ask me, "What are you wearing? What is your makeup going to look like? What are you going to do with your hair?" And little things like that made me feel really suffocated cuz it's like, I don't want you to change yourself to match me, right? And that was deeply ingrained in a lot of my female friendships throughout my life is just this need to be exactly like each other. And you don't have space to be your own person or >> Okay. Okay. So that's weird.
But women do do that. [laughter] So I I I think and and yet they don't want you to wear the same clothes. Like they don't want you dressed the same, but they want to match in some way. They want to coordinate. That's more I think it's like social signaling your friend group, I guess. Like, oh, we and and the whole thing about the enshment, it reminds me of the scene from Midsummer.
I always go back to this scene where the girl, the main character girl starts crying and a whole bunch of other women who she doesn't even know. They all crowd around her and huddle and they all cry together even though they don't know her. They don't have any reason to cry themselves, but they want to create like this group cry. And so they group cry together and it's super creepy.
And I I saw it and I was like, "This is [ __ ] weird. I'm I'm very uncomfortable." But I think it was it was saying something very interesting.
It was it was a cult, but I think that this is also like how they sort of signal that we're all in this together even though I don't know you and all that. Just weird, dude.
All right, I'm going to keep going then.
>> Yes. Yes. I'm trying to figure this out.
Sorry.
>> All right. be autonomous without it directly triggering your female friend.
For example, if I tell my female friend, I want to put some time and effort into learning American Sign Language, right?
Instead of her taking curiosity over this interest of mine, immediately she starts picking herself apart. Oh my god, I feel like I'm so lazy. I feel like during my free time, all I do is rest and eat and sleep, and I feel like I should probably start learning something new, too. Oh, I'm so useless. Either that or she'll start being defensive, right? Oh, I just feel like I work all the time and I don't even have free time and whatever free time I have, I feel like all I could do is just rest and nap and do chores. I don't have as much free time as you to learn a language. It's like this weird thing where instead of seeing you as your own person, she sees you as a measuring tool for herself.
>> Yeah, that's the relational web thinking.
Yeah. And you you don't you like I I actually wonder if autistic women are literally just women who have V1A R activation cross activation like they're just literally like um either they have it either they have had experiences that encourage it or alternatively they're like a a sub genotype that just activates more readily. That makes sense because this is uh like yes, this is entirely entirely explained by relational web thinking. Like yes, they just see you in terms of their own status. There's some weird feedback going on, Brian. They just see you in terms of >> Yeah.
>> All right. Go ahead.
>> Yeah. They just see you in terms of some um their own status, their own relationship in the web. Like she's literally describing what I've been talking about with the relational web and the topology.
and um and and also describing how shallow the connections are between people in this. It really is about resources, not actual affection and not actually understanding each other as individuals.
It's just which is hilarious because the most important thing apparently for members of the relational web is to be seen. Well, you're not going to be seen by people who only see you in terms of what you say about themselves.
Like they're constantly seeking what they can only get from a man. Let's be honest.
Okay.
>> Yeah.
>> Shall we continue? I don't know. There's some weird sort of feedback going on.
You're like, >> "What do you hear?"
>> Like the mic is a little overdriven.
>> Um or yours? No. Yours? It's like Yeah.
It's like overdriven. Like it's too it's it's peing.
>> It's real weird. Uh, do you guys get that? It could be It could just be the >> It's fine now. It's fine now.
>> Well, that's weird.
>> Yeah, it is.
>> Okay.
>> All right. Let's Let's keep going.
>> All right. Let's keep going. This is uh 22:15. Uh there's a little bit left in this clip, like 30 seconds.
>> And so now you're given the responsibility. I just I just wanted to add I think this sounds just like a woman who is pretending to care about something you're doing but just wants to talk about herself.
>> So that's why she's like, "Oh, the woman that she's referring to that's like, "Oh my god, I'm so lazy. I wish I had time to do stuff. I wish I had time to learn something new, but I'm so tired all the time. I feel like such a loser." And it's like fishing for, "Oh, no, you're fine. You're great. No, I I I just, you know, it's like fishing for people to like just give them this sort of unconditional moral support or or or just shower them with compliments and useless dril like maybe you are lazy.
Maybe you should do something else with your life. I don't know. But I think that women are all Well, this is like also just com um it's the problem of comparing yourself to someone else. you know, she's comparing herself and it's just like, you shouldn't do that. It's not good for you anyway.
>> Of needing to reassure her of her existence. Oh, you're doing fine. You don't have to learn ASL if you don't want to. You could nap on your free time if you want to. Or you have to do emotional labor for her when she's defensive and telling you that she doesn't have free time to learn something new. And you have to be like, "Okay, yeah, you don't have to learn something new if you don't want to." Or you have to downplay yourself to make herself feel better. That's even worse.
Where you have to be like, "H, yeah, I do have all this free time and I may as well do something useful with it cuz otherwise I would have nothing to do with myself. I'm not as busy as you."
You're doing >> I'm dying.
I'm dying. Yeah, >> it's all status jockeying. It's all status jockeying.
>> Yeah. Exhausting is what it is.
It's exhausting.
All right. 2408.
Um, this is about uh how autistic women are vulnerable with their because they're they'll be misinterpreted as arrogant or manipulative. Let's see. Talking about autist. That sounds like what men are often misinterpreted. This is what I'm I find interesting about this is that all the stuff that she's like talking about that she's experiencing as a quote autistic woman end quote just sounds like stuff men deal with.
>> Yeah. [laughter] >> Who would have thought? But okay. group consensus becomes incredibly powerful tools and unfortunately marginalized women often become the easiest targets within those systems, especially autistic women because >> Oh, okay. So, now she's the biggest female victim of this relational web stuff. Now she's making this like marginalized people argument for this.
All right, you lost me there, lady.
>> Autistic women often don't perform the expected social rituals correctly. We may not flatter correctly. We may not emotionally mirror correctly. We may not socially rank correctly. We may not participate in gossip correctly. We may not understand alliance building correctly. And if you >> don't you know that like uh socially ranking people and gossiping those are not good qualities those are not good things to do it it's >> they're they're not they're not qualities that you want to be able to be a better participant in. They're things that you want to reduce because they they're very destructive and if used recklessly. I mean there's a purpose to like communicating information about you know like like you know we say well where does gossip come from because it's not like something that exists on its own and it's not like it's something that's completely useless and without any value but there's I think that if you did it in a way that was good which is essentially communicating news about people in the social web as it were that's what it was what it would have been good for in a way that's productive you um you probably wouldn't even call it gossip. You just call it something else, something like news, you know. But now we're get to the point now because we just assume that whatever however women do anything is by default good, especially if it's done by a majority.
Um then >> yeah, why would you want to be >> Yeah, this is like honestly now that I think about it, a lot of these Christian um kind of expectations sort of tamp down on the negatives of the social web. But why would you want to gossip or create coalitions or do any of this properly? These are like not good things like Brian is saying.
>> No, no, gossip is actually is actually a sin.
not like it not, you know, it's not like murder or anything, but it's it's it's basically erodess social trust. It could break down um communities. It can be very destructive. So, it's seen as a sin. It's called um let's say frivolous use of language, you know. So, because you're using it for you're using it to hurt people or to you and it it usually involves lying or exaggerating or dramatizing, >> you know, hyper hyperbole, things like that.
>> Yeah.
>> Okay. I think it's more than frivolous.
It's actually very destructive.
>> No, I know. But I'm saying it's called frivolous speech or um wasteful speech. So, I'm not saying that like all wasteful speech is gossip. I mean say gossip is is like a form of that but it's it's there's a lot of harm that it can do. So um great says uh well [ __ ] did I do it again? I was trying to donate through the current fundraiser. Where's the correct link?
>> Uh okay no I'm not I'm not I'm not saying uh at you great indoors. I'm just h I'm just doing that.
>> She's frustrated with the fundraiser.
>> The fundraiser >> accessibility.
>> Yeah.
>> So, you got support back up again. Is that the one?
>> Yeah, that's the one. go to there and it should it should give you I wonder if it's not giving the correct it's not going to the correct place but uh great endorse go to that link just click that link and tell me where you go it should have um the the um the the shorts uh badger with a cigarette like aviation badger with a cigarette on it.
All right, let's let's let's How many more time codes are there?
um this one which is this one and two more but we don't have to do them all.
There's there's three basically.
>> Okay.
>> All right.
>> Don't understand the rules of the system. You become incredibly vulnerable inside it. And I also think that >> Yeah. Well, everybody is like ladies like every woman. There are women who are perfectly non autistic who play this badly and get slammed. you you are wanting a cheat code that uh which when we should really be asking is this a game that women should be playing in the first place.
>> Yep.
>> Like you wanting a cheat code does not make you better than anyone else.
Nor does it obligate people to give it to you.
>> Yeah.
>> So okay.
>> All right. Consequences of this gets amplified when you are a woman yourself and you are conventionally attractive.
Because when other women see that you are also a woman, they expect you to know about those social contracts and be operating within those social contracts.
And so they're going to be harder on you when you miss certain signals. They don't think >> they're pretty hard on, too.
>> They're pretty damn hard. I mean, I think they just assume men are just dumb and don't get it, so they're ready to to be mean to them. I think with women, they're just surprised like, "What? You don't get it? You're not a man?"
>> And yet, they don't have any forgiveness for men not getting it.
>> No, of course not.
>> Missed a signal. They will oftentimes judge, oh, Irene purposefully didn't reciprocate me or mirror me because she doesn't want to because she isn't an ally. You know, things like that.
Whereas, let's say a woman judging a man, she might be more forgiving like, uh, men just don't know, whatever. You know, again, I'm generalizing, but women tend to be a lot harder on other women than they are of men when it comes to these sort of invisible social contracts and rules.
>> I mean, that might be true because they don't have high expectations of men anyway. In that regard, it's sort of like, you know, women who are anti-feminists probably get it heart worse than men who are anti-feminist because they assume that men are are opposed to it anyway. But a woman that's opposed to it is like a traitor. It's like they hate traitors more than the enemy, you know?
>> I mean, as an example. So, >> I'm not exactly. Yeah. And it it does feel that way, doesn't it? Even though I would say that I I don't know being a traitor to Sheilob, I think that's actually not a bad thing.
>> I'm sorry. I'm not going to be part of a relational web that's controlled by a bunch of Sheilob and her sisters.
>> You just put in my mind like Sheilob the spider from Lord of the Rings, but she's like a live streamer that like collects money and says sprinkle sprinkle because it sounds like Shira, but it's Sheilob.
Sheilob with a weave >> and some big old hoop earrings or some like really big earrings >> just, you know, do that >> quietly sitting in front of a mirror, >> not not speaking for several moments and occasionally just saying sprinkle sprinkle. But anyway, um [laughter] anyway, so let let's see. There's 25 44.
There's another uh minute of this one or about 30 seconds. She's in her arachnid era. Yes. [laughter] >> And I think conventionally attractive women end up being targeted more because people often times assumes that attractive women are socially aware, strategic, intentional, and socially skilled. So >> is this a humble brag? Are you talking about yourself now?
>> Yeah, just humble bragging.
>> Okay.
>> Okay. It's like mid to me, but >> okay.
>> Well, she's not sure. She probably she might be better looking off camera because wide faces tend to be >> um >> Yeah.
>> But um like I I know the I know the pain of having a wide face, let me tell you.
[laughter] >> I come on screen and people are like, "Oh, the full moon's out." Like [laughter] >> it's Mac tonight. I'm sorry, >> Lam more. [laughter] When the moon hits your Okay, I'll stop.
But yeah, so she might actually be more attractive in person. That's entirely possible. But um yeah, that does feel a little bit like a humble brag, but also again, she's complaining about not being able to rape and pillage like the other warlords.
Guys, guys, I'm just not able to.
>> She's being excluded from the raping and pillaging. I feel like I'm being left out of this.
>> I'm Yeah, I'm being left out of this.
Like, you might want to put some breaks on here and think about whether or not you should really be engaging it in the first place because this behavior, like what she's saying is, I am the victim of this behavior. Well, you want to be good at it or you want to get a a cheat code so you can victimize other people with this behavior? What? You want sympathy for that? Like, I don't think so.
They're not going to get it from me.
Like really what you should be doing is saying um this is bad behavior.
I don't want to be good at it. I want you guys to stop.
Right? And if you don't stop, I'm not going to be part of it.
>> That's that is the ethical position to take. I'm not going to be part of this.
I don't want to see I don't want to be subject to it and I don't want to see other women subject to it. So, I'm not going to take part in it. Bye. And if you want to call me a traitor for having done that, fine. You go off and rape and pillage. I'll be here trying to build something with all of the autists and the men. Like, [laughter] and then you better not come back and say you owe it. Like, we owe you anything because we don't.
All right.
>> All right. Uh, okay. There's like 30 seconds left in this one. 20 seconds. If you're autistic, attractive, and quiet, the trifecta, people will often project motives onto you that aren't even real.
Your silence gets interpreted as arrogance. Your awkwardness gets interpreted as manipulation. Your independence gets interpreted as superiority. And your social withdrawal gets interpreted as judgment. I don't know about you guys and I don't want to admit that I am conventionally attractive because I don't think about attractiveness in that way but I am at least aware enough to know that a lot of people would look at me and find me conventionally attractive and as a conventionally attractive autistic woman I can guarantee you that I have been misinterpreted to be all of those things.
>> Okay, this is this is a statement I would never make, but okay.
I'm not going to like shoot her down or or roast her or anything for for this, but I will say that it sounds to me like you are around a bunch of very vindictive, petty women that um are only interested in essentially like crabs in a bucket. They're the crabs in the bucket, you know? They want to they want to keep you um in whatever way humble I guess level like they believe in equality in in in so far as it means that no one is allowed to stand out in any way and if you are behaving in the way that you say like you're you know a bit quiet you're a bit um awkward and all that then yeah they probably see that as something of a threat.
because you it makes you unique in some way and they don't want that. Um, so yeah, I mean I I I think that you you might have and I look, yeah, you might have like uh haters. You might be friends with haters and not because you're, you know, conventionally attractive. I think it's just because they they're again they're petty and uh they're just doing that. They're probably doing that to each other. In fact, most likely they they are there's probably gossip going on between other women in the circle against other women.
It's like a sewing circle of, you know, vindictive women constantly making jabs at each other and doing it in a passive aggressive way and maybe they're gossiping and all that and it's probably inevitably going to collapse on itself.
So, trying to figure out what this stream is about. Duke Nukem, uh, we are looking at and reacting to a video and doing an analysis of female behavior, specifically the relational web, um, based on this video because this is what we like to do.
>> Is that a fair description?
This is what we like to do while we are analyzing female behavior essentially.
>> Yes.
>> And uh so that people can learn how to navigate it while not getting destroyed.
And unfortunately in this case she just needs to walk away. She can't keep trying to extort a cheap cheat code or so that she can also be a rap.
No, I'm sorry. Go ahead. I I was just there was something was happening with my uh paw space.
>> Okay. I just I just wanted to I just I just was quiet because I was trying to figure out if you were doing something.
And um she just she also wants to be able to rape and pillage >> with the other warlords.
And it's like, well, maybe you should reconsider that raping and pillaging is good.
um uh aka all of these behaviors, coalitional uh behaviors, um manipulative behaviors, ostracizing behaviors, social destructive behaviors that these women are doing, maybe you shouldn't want to be able to do them.
Maybe you should not do them. Maybe you should consider not belonging to a toxic sisterhood instead of saying, "I want a cheat code because I'm autistic.
So that is uh that is what we were talking about. So let's continue.
>> All right. Next time code >> losing access to things because the social wave can be turned against them and things like that. And honestly I think a lot of autistic women become deeply traumatized by female group dynamics because we spend years accidentally violating invisible rules we did not even know existed. You start realizing that warmth isn't always safe.
Care isn't always unconditional.
Niceness doesn't always mean honesty.
And belonging can disappear over.
>> Yeah, that's everybody. Like literally, that's everybody in this in this toxic nonsense. Not just autistic women.
>> Like perfectly normal.
>> Imagine what it's like to be an autistic man.
Perfectly normal women can experience that the the affiliative warmth with nothing beneath it is just an empty an empty wrapper for expectations, right? That plenty of normal women have experienced this thing too because it's like she's trying to pretend that the toxicity is because she's autistic. No, the toxicity targets you more because you're autistic, but the toxicity exists regardless of whether you're autistic.
And you may want to say, "Oh, hey, give me a check cheat code to avoid the toxicity."
But that is you're still going to be working within a system that's toxic and harmful and targets people. You just don't want to be its target. Well, where does that put you then? It puts you at the trigger. It puts you on the other side of the gun. And that's is that what you want to buy into?
Is that where you think that you should be? In which case, you know, you um live by the sword, you die by the sword, lady. You want to be part of this toxic community. Then you are fully available to be the target of its toxicity, right? You don't get to be in it and not have to deal with the downsides. That's that's what's really annoying about this behavior. I want all the benefits, but I don't want to have to deal with the downsides. I want all the benefits of raping and pillaging, but I don't want to be uh, you know, raped and pillaged in turn. Well, sorry. You set the rules.
That means you get to be victims of the rules that you set.
Don't uh hate the player, hate the game.
Or sorry, what? Don't hate the game, hate the player. I don't know what it was. Well, if you're going to play this game, you got to expect, you got to eat the downside of it.
It's and trying to get out of it by getting a cheat code because your autistic is not. It's well, okay, you can do that and maybe you'll get it.
Maybe you'll be able to play this toxic game completely invulnerable, but unfortunately you lose my sympathy.
>> Yeah.
>> What? [snorts] >> Yeah. All right. Um, >> eventually you become hyper aware of how quickly groups can collectively turn on someone once they've unconsciously been categorized as the outsider. And so at this point in my life when I am meeting people and building relationships with them, there's a few things that I have to look out for. Especially because I'm a woman, I'm autistic, and I am conventionally attractive. I have to be very weary of the types of people I'm surrounding myself with because if I am not weary of that, I will end up fostering relationship dynamics with people that are going to be very, very, very draining.
Weary, not weary. Weary means you're tired of it. Weary means you're like aware. Sorry, I sped. But um again, I'm getting more of a little bit of a humble brag here. I'm going to have to take care of me now. Look, I'm not mad at her. I'm glad she she's pointing this out, but little bit humble braggy there >> because they have expectations of me and because I won't have space to be myself without triggering other people. And so the things that I look out for is how much of myself can I be without it triggering other people, right? Can they just let me be myself without having to feel insecure with themselves or without becoming defensive or needing to bring me down or needing me to bring myself down in order to make them feel better or need >> Okay. Okay. Okay. Again, [laughter] it's it's it's hard being this hot and autistic. Did I Did I tell you guys I'm autistic? I'm autistic, by the way. I'm autistic.
Would an autistic person say that they're also very conventionally attractive?
I'm not I'm serious. I'm wondering. I don't know. Does that sound like something they would say?
>> No.
>> Just you don't think so?
>> Maybe.
>> I don't know. I don't know. I'm asking.
I don't know.
>> I'm thinking she doesn't realize how it comes across. Maybe. So, maybe it would be >> That's possible. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe she doesn't realize how it comes across.
Like she's not trying to sound like she's saying, "Oh, the burden of being this hot. It's unbearable. I can't make friends." You know, but she's got that conventionally attractive flag in her bio. [laughter] Is it a puzzle piece like the autism one? Um, okay. Anyway, that's the second to last time code. Any any thoughts on that before I get to the last one?
Well, yeah, it's pretty much what you have to do. You just have to decide who you're going to let in your life and not worry about the sisterhood. The sisterhood is a is a status jockeying game.
Um, and if you don't play it well, I would suggest just exit it.
Um, it's not it's what fun people fundamentally don't realize is it's not about being nice. It's not about compassion.
It's not about empathy. It's about winning.
It's about being the top Sheilob.
>> Yep.
>> And gathering all of the resources to you and being the one who determines who gets seen, whatever the hell that means, and who gets ejected.
It has absolutely nothing to do with anything positive. It is not the source of any kind of good in humanity. It is simply a dominance game, right? And if you don't want to play it, that actually speaks better to you.
If you don't want to be involved, you don't want to do the status jocking, you don't want to do the resource acquisition thing, that actually feels speaks better of you. You want to maintain your ethics about gossiping, about coalition building, about manipulation, about ostracization, about demanding consensus and silencing people. If you want to say, you know what, I'm not going to be a warlord, right? I'm not going to do that.
In fact, I am going to prevent other warlords from warladying around. That that is something respectable and admirable. There is no obligation to pay attention to, to invite into your life or to participate in this dominance.
What is a good way uh blood sport that women are engaging in, this freaking social media blood sport, right? And if you say no, that makes you a better person.
>> Stick to your own. Stick to what you can help the people you genuinely feel warm towards and want to make sure they are protected and provided for, right? Cling to your V1 AR acts cross activation, you know, do that because again the social media blood sport, you can't expect anything good out of it. All you can expect is contempt, anger, hatred, mutilation, social mutilation, destruction, and misery. So just don't don't take part. Don't take part in Sheila's grand ride of sisterhood. It's not worth it.
>> Yep.
>> That's all I can say.
>> Okay. Uh so this is the last time code. desires.
We are in charge of ourselves, right? We collaborate on an equal relationship, an equal give and take, and we coexist and we can even co-regulate, but that's something we are equally asking for and building together. And another thing that I look for is just someone who's able to be honest. Even when honesty isn't easy, even if it risks hurting my feelings, I need someone to be willing to be confrontational and honest enough to tell me when something is bothering them, telling me when they have a certain need that's not getting met.
>> Don't seek this.
>> Don't seek this in Sheilub's >> grand ride of female blood sports. Like, why are you seeking this there? You're not going to get it.
Like it's it's like you're you're you're going to you're like you're going to an MMA match and you're stepping in the ring and you're like, "Why are you punching me? I wanted to learn ballroom dancing. You're in the wrong place, lady.
Just get out of that place. Jesus.
You're like in the the gladiator pit.
You're like in the like um Jin Jin bottle called it the female snake pit.
You've walked into the gladiator pit unarmed.
knowing that you have a disability that makes it more difficult for you to even compete toe-to-toe with the female gladiators and you're like, I I can't handle this b give me give me a give me a handicap. Like, what are you doing?
Don't get in the pit.
Stay out of it.
Like what's really really weird is how women just are convinced that they need to be in the pit. No, you don't need to be in the pit.
Don't don't follow your mother need into the pit. That's how they get you. That's how they get fresh blood for the blood god in the female snake pit.
Just stay away from it.
Let the let the let the uh let the women who are the best at being utteristic savages pursue whatever aims they have in the snake pit and you just stay out of it.
Just maybe get some popcorn and watch and just warn everybody else away from it. Just like have to do this.
>> You don't have to do this. You don't have to take part in the savagery, in the destruction.
Yeah. You don't have to take part in the evisceration in the in the desire for blood that that uh characterizes the sisterhood. And you know that that the more that they talk about how everything is just, you know, fuzzy and peaches and sweet and warm, the more they are hiding or they're just pretending they are something they are not. That is just a predator putting up a facade to suck you in.
Don't Don't fall for it.
>> True.
>> It's men who are the romantics.
It's women who are the savages. Just remember that.
>> All right.
>> All right. Let's keep going.
>> When they're frustrated, disappointed, telling me what's going on, right? And actually opening up a conversation about it because I cannot sit here and ruminate on what's going on with a person, how to look out for certain signals that might mean something, and how to interpret that, right? Oh, this person looked really happy and smiley and loving, but are they actually or are they actually secretly upset with me?
And if they are secretly upset with me, what did I do wrong? And how do I make up for it? I cannot do that, dude. Like, really, I cannot do that. When I love someone, >> you shouldn't do that. Don't put up with that. Don't do it. All right. She says, "When I love someone," so I guess she's somehow platonic >> and I care. I will do so much for them.
But I cannot do anything unless it is brought to me first. It is so important to me that love is shown between me and another person through having explicit and vulnerable conversations with each other. Even if that means someone is telling me I hurt their feelings, even if that means they're telling me I failed them, I need them to tell me that. I need them to explain how it impacted them. explain what they expect from it so that we could have >> You're doing the autistic thing.
>> You're doing the autistic thing right here, right now. You are mistaking the surface for the substance. You are looking at the fluffy bunnies that the sisterhood strews around its blood sports arena and you're saying, "Oh, that's what they want." No, they don't want that. That's what it's using to suck you into their misery and their destruction, right? You are mistaking again the PR for the product.
You are not going to get that from the sisterhood.
You are not going to get love. You're not going to get honesty. You're not going to get vulnerability. What you are going to get is status jockeying to the death. Right? That's it. Stop walking into the gladiator pit and asking why you're being stabbed instead of hugged.
Your problem is you do not understand what you're dealing with.
And again, it it is the autistic thing.
You are mistaking the surface surface for the substance. Do you see what I'm saying, Brian?
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. Yeah. I I I see. So, that's an autistic thing >> to like see the surface and um >> what people say they are for what they actually are. Don't look at these women in terms of what they say they are. Look at them in terms of what they do.
>> Yes.
>> Okay.
>> Yeah. She seems to be confused by what they're doing, which is why she's like, "Oh, I don't understand. You should be doing things this way. I think this would be better." Not realizing that, no, this isn't a bug. This is a feature.
Mhm.
>> Okay.
>> That I could better understand and so that we could collaborate on what to do about it. Right. If they don't open up the doorway into understanding what's going on within them, then I will never know that there's something happening beneath the surface within them. I will never be given the opportunity to do something about it. You know what I'm saying? And when >> All right, that that was the last. So that's basically the importance of explicit and vulnerable conversations and relationships to avoid emotional confusion and allow for understanding and support. Uh again, this is assuming that was that that's the goal. So that's the last time code, Alison.
>> Okay.
>> So that's the video.
What are you doing?
I reversed the mutes. Sorry. Well, one, she wants the cheat code to be a bastard or be [snorts] a [ __ ] right? She wants to be able to run with the big girls that she loves and be able to fight or something. Or alternatively, she's completely misunderstanding the situation because she's an autist. She thinks that this is a source of companionship and warmth and love and mutual understanding.
And what she's wandered into is the female gladiator pit.
And the real problem here is, well, I mean, it's a problem that the female gladiator pit exists. You know that social media blood sports exists for women. That is a problem in and of itself. But her problem is that she's mistaking it for something it isn't. It is not a hug box.
It is a blood sport.
It presents itself like it's a hug box for some reason. I don't know why women have to do this. They have to pretend that they're something they're not.
Probably because that's what predators do. But it is a blood sport. And if you want to walk into the arena, be prepared to be shipped.
Mhm.
>> And even nor even normal women who are not autistic will be shd.
You'll get your turn at the top and then you will be destroyed by the people below you clawing their way up. The women below you clawing their way up. It is an everending cycle of blood and destruction. And if you want to take part, you better be on the top of your female relational web game because if you're not, you are going to be the thing that's stepped on.
And um if you want to have warmth and gener genuine care and truth and vulnerability, then vet your friends [snorts] and uh keep it to the people that are closest to you. Godspeed.
Don't expect Sheil Love to be anything but what she is.
[snorts] That's it.
>> Yep.
>> All right. I wanted to say thank you to the great Endors. You actually put something through so I think it works.
It's at feedthebadger.com/support.
Please do help us out because we we are here because you continue to support us basically.
Um, and uh, uh, feedthebadger.com/justthetip if you want to send us a message even after the show is over because we will read it at the next show that's similar like it makes sense to read it at if that makes sense.
>> Yeah, maybe maybe on Friday or next Monday.
>> Yeah. Yeah.
And uh we are at god this is really awfully difficult to navigate so I can see why people are having trouble with it. Um so we are at 3 673 left to go for this month. So 3673.
There's a little bit of arithmetic tick there. That's why it took a while. And if you would like to help out, it is at feedthebadger.com/support.
Although the old version of this is at feedthebadger.com/project/badger-mediatlitz and um that works as well.
Um I will just have to do a lot of work to apply it to the fundraiser which can be it's a bit of a pain. But anyway, those are the options. Please help us out. Badgeration.online online if you want to read more of my um analysis of the things that we talk about. And I'll hand it back to Brian since we are well over the hour.
>> Yes. So, if you guys like this video, please hit like. Subscribe if you're not already subscribed, hit the bell for notifications, leave us a comment, let me know what you guys think about what we talked about in the show today, and share the video because sharing is caring. Thanks so much for coming on this episode of Maintaining Frame, and we'll talk to you guys in the next one.
See you at 7 for Hannah's thing. uh basically in like 4 hours. Uh talk to you guys next time.
>> Men's right activists are machines, dude. Okay, they are literal machines.
They are talking point machines. They are impossible to [ __ ] deal with.
Especially if you have like especially if you have like a a couple dudes who have good memory on top of that, too.
Holy [ __ ] you're [ __ ]
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