Single in Japan: What's Stopping Women From Marriage?

Added: 2026-05-16

[00:00:04]Hello. Hello. It's Mana. So, I'm still single and  honestly there are a lot of single women in their 30s and 40s in Japan right now. But why? Why don't  they get married? And yes, me neither. Why don't they look for the one or is it actually becoming  harder to find the right person these days? Japan is going through a really uncertain time. Prices  keep rising. Life is more stressful than ever.

[00:00:29]And many people are struggling with the future. In  the situation like this, some people might think marriage would become more important because  two people can support each other emotionally, financially, and mentally. But interestingly,  many Japanese women are still staying single or struggling to find a right partner. And trust me,  the reasons are much deeper and more complicated than the people outside Japan might imagine. Some  of these reasons come from personal experiences and some are connected to the reality of modern  Japanese society. These are definitely some of the reasons why I gradually gave up marriage  and slowly started losing the desire for it.

[00:01:09]By watching this video, you may get a glimpse  into what's really happening in the lives of many Japanese women today. Are ready? Let's  get started. The first reason is actually very personal and I think many Japanese women who focus  on their careers might relate to this. In my 30s, I was completely focused on my work and building  my career. Then when I was 39, one of my male friends who I sometimes mention in my story said  to me, "Wow, Mana, you are late. 39 sounds really old for men. I'm sorry." And honestly until that  moment I had never seriously thought that I might be too late to find a partner. But around that  time I started hearing comments like you are late more and more often. As I got older those words  started quietly whispering into my everyday life.

[00:02:03]So instead I decided to focus even more on my  career and work as a head chef. In Japan, there's still quiet prejudice towards older women in  society. And I think many women in their 30s and 40s slightly feel this pressure too. In fact, many  single women started giving up on relationships once they reach around 40. Of course, biologically  having a children can become more difficult with age, but it made me realize how strong the social  pressure and the stereotypes around age is still on in Japan. And I think many Japanese women carry  these feelings inside without talking about them openly. The second reason is really connect to the  first one. This is just my personal experience, but if you work in a restaurant industry in Japan,  especially if you aim to become a head chef, you often end up working extremely long  hours. And I think this is also connected to Japan's low productivity and chronic staffing  problems and intense work culture. After working long hours every day, I just needed time to  recover mentally and physically. So naturally, I started cutting down the time and energy I had  to meet new people or look for the relationship.

[00:03:23]And before you realize it, you get older and  suddenly the situation around you has completely changed. The third reason is that Japan is  actually extremely comfortable for single people.

[00:03:36]Especially in Tokyo, there are so many people  living alone here, particularly single workers, that Japan has created countless services designed  specifically for one person lifestyles. You can eat alone without feeling awkward. You can rent  tiny apartments made for solo living. There are single seats in restaurants, convenience stores  everywhere. Food delivery. Solo karaoke or solo travel packages. Even one person barbecue  and Yakiniku exists now. Because of that, the environment in Japan makes being alone feel  very normal and it gives people a sense of comfort and ease about living alone. The fourth reason  is dating Apps and social platforms. These days, the amount of scams, fake behavior, and suspicious  people on some apps has become a really serious problem. In my previous video, I said I never used  dating apps, but actually I did try one once many years ago. My uncle was worried about me and even  paid for the membership. So, I thought, all right, maybe I should at least try it once. But then  what happened was after I registered my profile, I suddenly received so many messages and some of  them were almost exactly the same. It made me feel that they weren't sincere at all, like they were  just copy and paste messages sent randomly to a lot of women. And also when I used the popular  language exchange app, I received the messages from some people and talked with them for a while.  But after we had been chatting for some time, if I didn't reply for a little while, one guy suddenly  started sending me a huge number of messages in a single day. At that point, it started to feel  really uncomfortable like he had bad intentions.

[00:05:29]He even said things like, "Tell me your personal  address.!!!" Now from those experiences I started to feeling that it was really difficult to tell  which people were generally normal and sincere. In Japan people even warn each other about certain  patterns. For example, I've heard people say, 'be careful men taking the photos with pets.  Some of them are scammers. But then it becomes confusing because after hearing some warnings you  start wondering wait then who's actually normal.

[00:06:02]So in the end I started feeling exhausted before I  even meet someone properly. Of course many people genuinely find love on dating but honestly it also  depends on a lot on luck. The fifth reason is a lack of emotional attachment or emotional energy  towards relationships. And honestly, I think this is something many men feel too, not only women.  As people get older, many start choosing things that feel lighter, easier, and less emotionally  exhausting. People become quicker to give up, and they naturally choose more efficient and  peaceful ways to live. Because of life experience, you start to predict outcomes before things even  begin. You can almost see the future from past experiences. Of course, people still feel lonely  sometimes, but at the same time, many think, "Do I really want to risk getting hurt again?" And  little by little, protecting your peace starts to feel safer than opening your heart to someone  new. Ironically, this mindset can make people even more lonelier over time. And another thing  is as you get older and become more independent, it becomes rare to meet someone who makes you  think, ' I really want this person in my life!'

[00:07:17]because they've already built a stable life on  their own. So I think this lack of emotional attachment or maybe emotional urgency is one  of the biggest reasons it becomes harder to find a partner later in life. The sixth reason  is that there's now a huge gap between real life and social media. Personally, I feel that many  photos and videos online are becoming very far removed from reality. On YouTube, for example, you  mostly see successful channels, but in reality, those people are only in a small percentage.  Many creators spend a huge amount of time, money, and strategy behind the scenes. Success is  not easy at all. But because people constantly see these polished lives online, many start chasing  unrealistic lifestyles appearances, relationships or success. And little by little, some people  begin struggling to accept ordinary real life as it is. I think this is becoming a kind of modern  disease in society like people are emotionally living inside that highlights instead of reality.  Do you see these tendencies in your country too?

[00:08:26]Now living with AI is becoming normal and we  may face an even more unrealistic world in the future. That's why I think real human connection  is becoming more important than ever. We need to value real conversations, kindness towards others  and the present moment. Because if everything around us becomes more artificial, maybe the most  precious thing will be something very simple.

[00:08:50]being genuinely yourself, building real value  in your life and truly living your own real life and most importantly finding real love. I don't  think there's any substitute for genuine human connection. I hope you will find a great partner  in your real life. Thank you so much for watching my video until the end, I would be happy hit  subscribe button. See you in the next video. Bye.