How to Let Go and Start Fresh 🌿 Buddhist Wisdom for Perfect Life

Added: 2026-05-28

[00:00:00]I know it is very difficult to forget the past memories.

[00:00:05]I know it is very difficult to forgive yourself for the things that you have done in the past.

[00:00:14]But at the end of our life, at the end of our day what we all need is [music] nothing but just the peace in our mind.

[00:00:27]But in order to find that peace >> [music] >> we need somehow we need to let go of that past memory. Let go of that things that hurt us.

[00:00:38]But how?

[00:00:40]Is there a way [music] to find that peacefulness within our mind? Well, let's discuss about it in this video.

[00:00:46][music] If you look at the past memories uh I heard this nice quote about the past memories.

[00:00:53]>> [music] >> It says thinking about and worrying about past is like dragging a boat on a dry land.

[00:01:02]Okay?

[00:01:03]Now, [music] where we can use the boat?

[00:01:07]We can use it on water.

[00:01:09]But if you try to drag that boat onto dry land and take it wherever take it with you to wherever you go what will happen to [music] you?

[00:01:19]It will become a burden to you. It will hurt you. It is so [music] heavy.

[00:01:23]And there is no use in the in the same place.

[00:01:26]Right? You cannot use the boat on the dry land.

[00:01:30]Okay? Holding onto past memories is also like that.

[00:01:34]Right?

[00:01:35]>> [music] >> There's no use of it. Right? We are not letting that past memory to be in the correct place.

[00:01:42]We're taking it to wherever we go and every every place that we [music] go.

[00:01:47]And it will keep hurting us. So, what we can do to forgive ourselves and let go of that past memory.

[00:01:55]Well, certain [music] there are certain things that can do. One of the most important things that you have to realize in this world is that not [music] everything in this world is totally under our control.

[00:02:09]There are people around you, okay? There are things around you. There are certain things that is happening around you, but not everything and not everyone of them is totally under your control.

[00:02:22]Okay? We have to deal with it, but it is not out it is out of our control.

[00:02:28]How people treat you.

[00:02:31]You cannot do anything about it. How people think about you.

[00:02:35]You have no control over it. How people talk to you, how people behave in front of you, >> [music] >> the things that is happening in this environment, in the nature, there are things that is out of our control.

[00:02:49]Okay?

[00:02:50]If we try and if you realize that >> [music] >> this is the truth, okay? You cannot do anything about it. Should I worry about them? Then you come to the conclusion that I I don't want to worry about it because it is out of my range. Okay? So, this is one reality that you have to understand. [music] The world is not totally under your control. Why? Because we are so busy >> [music] >> in our life trying to control the things that are around ourself that are out of out of our control.

[00:03:26]Okay? So, realize that not everything is under your control. And the next thing that you have to do is [music] this might surprise you. Now, a lot of you lot of people are trying to forget the past memory.

[00:03:40]Okay? I would say don't try to [music] forget past memories.

[00:03:47]Okay? Don't try to do it.

[00:03:49]What will happen if If try to do it? The more you try to forget something, the more it will haunt your mind.

[00:03:56]>> [music] >> Isn't that true?

[00:03:58]Yes, do it practically, right? Try to forget something, it will come back to your mind.

[00:04:03]Okay? I would say, rather than trying to forgetting forget the past memory, I would say let [music] it fade away from your life.

[00:04:12]Okay?

[00:04:13]Let it fade away. How to do it?

[00:04:17]Fading away is happening with [music] time. Okay? It takes time. It's something like healing a wound. Okay? To heal a wound, it takes time. Okay?

[00:04:27]>> [snorts] >> So, what we have to do is we have to give less attention to >> [music] >> that memory.

[00:04:35]Okay? Now, most of the time what happens in our us is when past memories haunt us, we give so much attention to it. We give so much awareness to it and think like this is the biggest tragedy in my life. This is the biggest mistake that I have done in my life. Now, my life is worse.

[00:04:55]Okay?

[00:04:57]The The more we give attention to something, it will grow. That is the nature of the mind. The Buddha said, the more you give attention to something, these kind of thoughts come again and again to your mind. So, what we have to do is give [music] less attention to it.

[00:05:14]But, how? Okay? Now, some of you say it is very easy for you to say that give less attention to it.

[00:05:21]But, it is very difficult. I know it is very difficult, but there is certain thing There's one thing that we can do.

[00:05:28]We can identify that [music] thought as a thought. Okay? Let's say these past memories, they are always the thoughts inside our mind. Okay?

[00:05:39]And also there are certain good memories and happy memories.

[00:05:43]All of them are just thoughts.

[00:05:46]Okay? The only difference between these hurtful memories, past memories, and the good memories is the way we look at that thought.

[00:05:56]Okay? The perspective towards that thought.

[00:06:00]If we can identify, oh, this is just [music] a thought. There's no difference.

[00:06:06]Okay? It will come to our mind and this will fade away and this will pass away by the time with the time. So, I must give some time to my mind, to let my mind heal. When you do that, the past memories will start fade away little by little. Why? Because you are giving less attention to it.

[00:06:26]Okay?

[00:06:27]Then, there will be a day that comes then you come to a conclusion and you will realize that these past memories >> [music] >> will are no longer hurting you. Okay?

[00:06:40]In my life, [music] I have I had bad memories. Okay? The reason why I'm telling this is because I've been in the same situation as you guys.

[00:06:50]Okay? There was so so many past bad memories and mistakes that I have done in the past.

[00:06:58]But, when we give less attention to that, it will fade away.

[00:07:04]Okay? Then, >> [music] >> you will be okay with those past memories. So, that is what I have to share with you in this video. So, just let your past memories fade away from your life. Learn from your past, learn from your tears, and let your tears water the seeds of your future success.

[00:07:27]Keep that in your mind.

[00:07:28]Welcome to yet another episode in Inner Guide Q&A program.

[00:07:33]Today, we are going to talk about how to deal with past memories.

[00:07:38]They are the memories that holding us back and destroying our present moment and our future.

[00:07:45]So, how can we deal with these past memories?

[00:07:48]First of all, I will tell you a nice story.

[00:07:53]In the Buddha's time, there was a murderer.

[00:07:57]Now, he wasn't just a murderer, he was a serial killer.

[00:08:02]He killed thousands and thousands of people.

[00:08:06]And do you know what he did to those dead people?

[00:08:10]He cut a finger from each one of them and he he made a garland out of that fingers.

[00:08:19]And he put and he wore that garland around his neck.

[00:08:23]So, his name was Angulimala, the person who wears the garland of fingers.

[00:08:31]With the help of the great supreme Buddha, he became an innocent person again.

[00:08:39]Before becoming a serial killer, he was just an innocent boy.

[00:08:46]But, >> [music] >> with the bad companionship, he was he became a serial killer.

[00:08:53]So, with the Buddha's help, he became an innocent person again and he became a monk.

[00:09:02]After that, he realized the teachings of the Buddha and he became enlightened.

[00:09:11]The reason for his enlightenment was he did not let his past to define who he is.

[00:09:21]Right? He did not regret about what he has done in the past.

[00:09:26]Instead, he focused on the present moment. The Buddha advised Angulimala, "After becoming a monk, think of yourself as a newly born person, a new person, and do not let your past to define who you are.

[00:09:46]So, he did meditations, and he practiced the path of the Buddha, and he became enlightened.

[00:09:55]So, that was the little story. So, what we can take from this little story?

[00:10:01]If you're holding onto the past, and if you're letting your past to define who you are, right?

[00:10:09]You will never be the person that who you want to be.

[00:10:13]So, remember, mistakes can happen by anyone. We make mistakes. That is why we are known as humans.

[00:10:21]Okay? So, mistakes can happen. Even the good people make mistakes.

[00:10:25]That doesn't mean that they need to suffer, and they need to uh regret about the things for the whole life.

[00:10:32]Right? We make mistakes, and what we have to do, we have to focus on the present moment.

[00:10:40]Think of yourself, now I have done a mistake in the past, but now what should I do to become a good person?

[00:10:51]When you think of that, you're focusing on the present moment.

[00:10:56]That is what you have to do. Every time you're regretting about the past memories, the things that has happened in the past, you are touching the wound of yourself.

[00:11:08]You know, the miserable moments that has happened in the past is like a wound.

[00:11:13]It takes times to heal.

[00:11:15]So, if you keep on touching into that wound, it will never be healed.

[00:11:21]So, what you have to do? Should you forget the past?

[00:11:25]Of course not.

[00:11:26]You should not forget the past, and you cannot forget the past.

[00:11:32]Remember, the more you try to forget the past, the more it will haunt your memories again and again. So, what you have to do?

[00:11:42]You have to let your miserable and painful past memories to just fade away from your life.

[00:11:50]Right?

[00:11:51]So, to do that, you should not give much attention to >> [music] >> the past miserable painful memories.

[00:12:00]Right? When we are not giving any attention to something, chances are very high for it to fade away from our memories.

[00:12:09]So, what you have to do? Just do not give any attention to those past memories.

[00:12:15]Okay?

[00:12:17]And that is why our great teacher supreme Buddha taught us in Bhaddekaratta Sutta, Atītaṃ nānussareyya, nappatikankhe anāgataṃ.

[00:12:30]Do not dwell on the past.

[00:12:34]Nappatikankhe anāgataṃ. Do not dream dream too much on the future.

[00:12:41]Yad atītaṃ pahīnaṃ taṃ, appattañca anāgataṃ. The past has gone now. It is over.

[00:12:50]And the future hasn't yet come.

[00:12:53]And Buddha said, "Paccuppannañca yo dhammaṃ, tattha tattha vipassati." You have to focus on the present moment and do what is right right here, right now.

[00:13:07]So, do not let the past to define who you are, and focus on the present moment, and think, "What can I do to become a better person now?"

[00:13:18]Admit your faults. Learn from your past.

[00:13:21]Do not make it a wound and a painful situation. Just learn from it.

[00:13:27]Right? And then you can think, "What should I do to become a person a better person right here, right now?"

[00:13:36]Right? When you do the good things and when you do the right thing in the present moment, your past will be a good one and your future will be also a good one.

[00:13:47]>> [music] >> So, what you have to do, you only own this present moment.

[00:13:52]Always keep it in your mind, right? The moment that you only own is this moment.

[00:13:58]Right? In the past what has happened in the past, you cannot control it. What is going to happen in the future, you have no control about that. What you have in your hand is this present moment. So, focus on the present moment, do the good things, be a good person, and your future will be a better one. Your past will be a better one also. So, practice the Buddha's teachings and stay in the present moment. Namo Buddhaya.

[00:14:27]Namo Buddhaya.

[00:14:29]Welcome to another video.

[00:14:32]In today's video, let's talk about how to control our negative emotions and how to control our mind.

[00:14:40]Well, the nature of our mind is it always likes to wander in negative emotions and negative thoughts.

[00:14:49]Negative thoughts like anger, desire, or lust, or then jealousy, maybe resentment.

[00:14:58]These are the negative thoughts that our mind likes to wander in.

[00:15:03]So, how can we control it?

[00:15:06]Well, our great teacher Supreme Buddha introduced us a gradual training where you can practice this controlling of negative emotions or negative thoughts in your mind.

[00:15:18]So, without any further ado, I'm going to introduce them to you. So, first and foremost, before getting into these steps, there is there is one thing that you have to practice and there's one thing that you have to master. And that is awareness.

[00:15:33]If you are not aware of what you are thinking, if you are not mindful about what you are thinking, then you cannot control it.

[00:15:42]So, you have to totally understand and you have to totally be aware of what you are thinking.

[00:15:49]Okay?

[00:15:50]So, whenever you find when you whenever you become aware of what you are thinking, then you will have that power to control it. So, here comes the first step.

[00:16:01]Buddha says, whenever you become aware of your mind is wandering in negative thoughts like anger or lustful thoughts or or resentment or jealousy, the first thing is to shift your thought pattern to something wholesome. There are some wholesome thoughts in your mind which makes you peaceful.

[00:16:22]Maybe like thinking of something that you have done in the past like maybe you helped someone. Whenever you think that thought, your mind becomes happy and peaceful. So, what you're going to do is whenever you become aware of your negative thoughts, we're going to shift our thought pattern to something that is wholesome, something that makes us peaceful.

[00:16:45]So, that is the first thing that Buddha says. Shift your thoughts to wholesome thoughts.

[00:16:51]If that first step did not work out, then what you have to do, go for the next step. What is that? Buddha says, think about the disadvantages of thinking negative emotions.

[00:17:04]Right? If you are constantly having angry thoughts, then you have to think, these thoughts are hurting myself and others. If I take actions according to these thoughts, it will hurt myself and the others. Remember, >> [music] >> it may be a little thought of anger, but if it grow up, what will happen? It will be destructive.

[00:17:26]So, what do you have to do? Think about the drawbacks or disadvantages of thinking these negative thoughts.

[00:17:33]Then, whenever you see these disadvantages, your mind will tend to stay away from these negative thoughts.

[00:17:41]Most of the time, we are not aware of these disadvantages.

[00:17:45]Okay? So, what do you have to do? Think, if I keep on thinking these negative thoughts, it will not going It is not going to help me. It will disrupt my peacefulness.

[00:17:57]Right? That is the second step.

[00:17:59]Then, as the third step, Buddha says, "Pay no mind. Pay no attention."

[00:18:06]If the second step did not work out, go for the third step to not to pay any attention to that thought. Right? See, whenever we give so much attention to something, maybe a thought, it grows again and again. It grows more, right?

[00:18:24]For an example, if you became angry with someone, and if you keep thinking about him again and again and becoming angry, that anger will grow more and more. So, what do you have to do?

[00:18:37]We have to let the thought be a thought without paying much attention.

[00:18:44]Right? When you just stay away from giving attention, then it will fade away from your mind. It's something like this.

[00:18:52]Have you seen little babies when they fall down, they start to cry, right? If the parent or or the mother or father see that it is not a big deal of falling, if mother or father did not give any attention to that baby, what does he do?

[00:19:10]He just get He just don't care about that. He He will stop crying. Same thing goes with our mind. If we did not pay any attention to that thought, right? If you did not care about that thought and just let it go and let it pass away from our mind, then it will fade away. That is one way of doing that. If the third step did not work for you, then the Buddha says, go for the fourth step to relax your thought process.

[00:19:39]Right? Now, remember, when you think negative thoughts, your mind becomes so much busy, so much rough, and distracted.

[00:19:50]So, what you are going to do is you're thinking, why am I thinking these distracting thoughts? These uh negative thoughts that are making me so much busy and making me distracted.

[00:20:04]Right?

[00:20:05]So, what you're going to do is you're relaxing your thought process to something very soft and subtle.

[00:20:13]Maybe like loving kindness. Maybe like compassion, right? Maybe like gratefulness.

[00:20:20]When you think those thoughts, when you think more positive thoughts, your mind or your thought process becomes so much relaxed. And then, if the fourth step did not work for you, then it comes the final step.

[00:20:36]This is something that we have to do with a great care. I do not recommend for everyone to do this. This should be done with a great experience and a good practice, right? And that is to crush your thought with awareness, right? You have to be totally aware of your thinking pattern and have a good determination to your mind that I'm not going to think these negative thoughts, right? But this should not be done by everyone, right?

[00:21:07]Some may be not good at this, right? If you keep on becoming aware and if you keep on forcing this mind, it will grow more and more these negative thoughts. So, if all those four steps did not work for you, then you have to go for the final [music] step, right? So, it is much better to practice these four thoughts before doing the final one. Okay? So, practice these things. When you practice, you will feel and you will understand that your negative emotions are fading away little by little.

[00:21:42]Remember, this is not going to happen overnight.

[00:21:47]It will take a long, long time to do this, but you have to keep on practicing. Keep on doing it. Make it a habit, and then you will become a master of it. So, practice this practice and make your mind a place where free from negative thoughts.

[00:22:08]Namo Buddhaya.