The Box | The Offer | Beyond Infinity

Added: 2026-05-28

[00:00:00]Your summer favorites are back, just strut their stuff. It's Roger, Dwayne, and ReRun. There's Roger's mama and his lovable sister Dee.

[00:00:10]It's the premiere of the show that answers the hilarious question, "What's happening?" Next Saturday night on ABC.

[00:00:21]Hello.

[00:00:23]May I help you?

[00:00:25]Mrs. Lewis?

[00:00:32]Yes.

[00:00:33]Hello.

[00:00:35]My name is Arlington [music] Stewart.

[00:00:38]I assume you received the box I left on your doorstep.

[00:00:43]Yes. And you found the button unit inside the box.

[00:00:49]Is that what you call it?

[00:00:51]Button unit?

[00:00:53]Yes, we do.

[00:00:58]Please don't let my appearance frighten you. I assure you I'm not a monster. I'm just a man with a job to do.

[00:01:08]May I come in?

[00:01:11]Sure.

[00:01:19]Can I offer you anything?

[00:01:21]Oh, no, thank you. I never have much of an appetite.

[00:01:25]Um shall we sit down?

[00:01:36]So, are you trying to sell me something?

[00:01:41]Yes, in a way. I do have an offer to make.

[00:01:45]What are you offering?

[00:01:47]A financial opportunity.

[00:01:50]Let me explain.

[00:01:54]In this envelope, there is a key.

[00:01:57]I'll show you.

[00:02:00]This key opens the glass dome to the button unit.

[00:02:06]Now, now, if you push the button, two things will happen.

[00:02:17]First, someone, somewhere in the world, whom you don't know, will die.

[00:02:27]Second, you will receive a payment of $1 million, tax-free.

[00:02:42]The payment will be delivered to you by me, in cash, just as you see here.

[00:02:59]Oh, and Mrs. Lewis, please permit me to present to you this crisp $100 bill as a gift in exchange for your kindness in allowing me into your home.

[00:03:17]You're going [music] to give me this $100 bill even if I say no?

[00:03:22]That is correct.

[00:03:28]Are you for real?

[00:03:30]Oh, I assure you, Mrs. Lewis, this offer is quite real.

[00:03:37]Who do you work for?

[00:03:40]Guarantee of payment comes with three restrictions, I'm afraid.

[00:03:45]One, I am not permitted to disclose any information about the identity of my employers.

[00:03:53]Two, you are not permitted to discuss [music] the details of this with anyone except your husband, of course.

[00:04:02]Three, you have 24 hours.

[00:04:08]You have until 5:00 tomorrow to make your decision.

[00:04:12]At which point I shall return and retrieve the button unit.

[00:04:19]It will be reprogrammed and the offer will be made to someone else.

[00:04:28]It's been a pleasure meeting you, Mrs. Lewis.

[00:04:43]It's a new prosthesis for a foot. You got it.

[00:04:46]What?

[00:04:47]I'm using the new GE Silastic polymer to develop for the pilot chairs. For the shuttle.

[00:04:52]Nice bell. Thank you. Hey.

[00:04:55]What happened to her foot?

[00:04:59]When she was 17, her brother dropped a barbell on her foot.

[00:05:04]She thinks one of her toes is broken, so she goes to the hospital.

[00:05:07]>> [snorts] >> Doctor sets her in a chair, turns the X-ray machine on, and goes to check on another patient down the hall, and he forgets all about Norma.

[00:05:16]Leaves the X-ray machine running.

[00:05:19]Uh, she This That's That's not good. No.

[00:05:24]The tissue in four of her toes was completely destroyed by the radiation.

[00:05:28]They had to amputate four of her toes?

[00:05:30]Yep.

[00:05:31]Then they had to go in and get a bunch of skin from her inner thigh to cover the front of her foot.

[00:05:35]This is back in 1958, so they didn't have the skin graft techniques they do now.

[00:05:40]She had to sit [music] like this, the same position, full body cast, for a month, waiting for it to heal. Jesus. I hope she sued this idiot.

[00:05:52]Oh yeah, [music] her family sued and they won.

[00:05:54]What was the settlement?

[00:05:55]$10,000.

[00:05:59]If this sucker works, she can start jogging again.

[00:06:02]I hope so.

[00:06:04]>> [clears throat] [snorts] >> That's a nice thing you're doing for Norma.

[00:06:10]Thank you, sir.

[00:06:11]One good turn deserves another.

[00:06:13]This just arrived for you. Certified mail from uh With the astronaut corps?

[00:06:47]Is it a joke?

[00:06:49]Uh that's why it came. Nobody opened it.

[00:06:53]It says I was rejected.

[00:06:56]Why?

[00:07:01]Arthur Lewis.

[00:07:02]His astronaut application was rejected.

[00:07:05]Can you tell me why?

[00:07:09]Okay.

[00:07:14]Arthur, they say you failed the psychological exam.

[00:07:23]You got to be kidding me.

[00:07:25]That makes no sense.

[00:07:38]Norma, I I I aced every test.

[00:07:43]But I was counting on this.

[00:07:51]You know, I mean what am I supposed to do with the rest of my life?

[00:07:56]There are many great opportunities here.

[00:07:59]No, we just got a grant to develop optics for the new planetary camera system. You're perfect for it.

[00:08:07]Quasi-managerial position [music] that doesn't exist?

[00:08:35]Well, I'll always have Mars.

[00:08:41]Alice, honey, when you and me going to get together?

[00:08:45]When Barry Goldwater gets together with Jane Fonda.

[00:08:49]Before I could ask him any more questions, he got in his car and drove away.

[00:08:57]What are you doing?

[00:08:59]Careful. Oh, come on. You can't think this thing's real.

[00:09:03]Did you get his license plate?

[00:09:04]No.

[00:09:06]Your dad's a cop, Norma. You always got to get the license plate.

[00:09:08]>> Well, I was a little overwhelmed. Okay, so somewhere in the world, someone you don't know will die.

[00:09:15]Yes, those were his exact words. Did he say how they would die?

[00:09:19]No.

[00:09:22]And he offered you a briefcase full of cash.

[00:09:25]Yes, he said it was a million dollars and it looked real.

[00:09:33]What did he look like?

[00:09:36]I don't want to What do you mean?

[00:09:40]He must have been a burn victim because half of his face was gone.

[00:09:45]Really? Yeah, it's gone.

[00:09:50]Are you messing with me? You know Yes, you are.

[00:09:52]>> No, I'm not.

[00:09:56]Where do you like to play?

[00:09:59]I'll lock it up downstairs. All right.