sexual identity breakdown by generation, deciding to have kids, and name popularity

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[00:00:00]Hello peepeees. Today we are talking bisexuality. We are talking pregnancy.

[00:00:04]And we are talking munchousins. Oh, I knew none of this. Taran prepped the episode. So, we're all surprised together.

[00:00:22]>> Hello and welcome to Staying Up with Cammy and Taran. I'm Cammy.

[00:00:25]>> And I'm Taran. And every night me and my baby get to sleep together cuz we're married. every week. We invite you to join us to our sleepover. So, thanks for staying up.

[00:00:32]>> Thanks for staying up. Hi, peepee. Sorry for the late week episode, but you got a bonus up this week, so I think it's probably nice that they were a little spaced out. Whoa.

[00:00:40]>> How in the hell are you, peepee?

[00:00:42]>> Your your pause face there. Just kidding.

[00:00:44]>> I was getting excited to say that to >> Ready to say, >> how in the hell are you pee?

[00:00:48]>> How the heck you do on TV?

[00:00:50]>> So, yes. Hello. It is me again.

[00:00:53]>> God, this sparkling water is so good. I haven't had this in a minute.

[00:00:56]>> Crazy. This is not sponsored, but I would do anything for it to be sponsored.

[00:00:59]>> Yeah.

[00:00:59]>> Yet again, the Yuzu Mandarin Spin Drift >> gets me off my fuking ass.

[00:01:05]>> Yeah, we learned that there's certain sparkling waters you're actually not supposed to have, but Spin Drift is the good one. It's like the most natural, right?

[00:01:12]>> Um, >> no. This is one we're not supposed to have.

[00:01:14]>> No, I do think Spin No, cuz we switched to Spin Drift. We were doing something else.

[00:01:18]>> Spin Drift is the good one.

[00:01:19]>> Yeah, cuz it's like juices straight.

[00:01:21]>> No, this is the good one. I forget what was in the other ones. That's not good for you. You know, I would love Distributed by Spinder Sparkling Water Co. Newton, Massachusetts. I'd love to go where they make this.

[00:01:31]>> Really?

[00:01:32]>> Yeah, I'd love to see it.

[00:01:33]>> Well, let's go to Massachusetts, babe.

[00:01:34]>> How fun would that be?

[00:01:35]>> That would be really cute.

[00:01:36]>> What do you think it's like in there?

[00:01:38]>> M. It's probably just like a big factory like >> Do you think people are happy?

[00:01:43]>> I sure hope so.

[00:01:45]>> I hope that everyone in there is like like really happy.

[00:01:50]>> You want it to be like chocolate chat factory.

[00:01:52]>> Yeah. I was thinking like seven dwarfs like hi ho hi ho.

[00:01:55]>> That is what exactly what I was picturing.

[00:01:57]>> I don't know if they're happy going to work actually. I don't know >> the dwarves.

[00:02:00]>> Yeah.

[00:02:01]>> Where do they work?

[00:02:02]>> Like a factory like a coal mine in my head. I don't know.

[00:02:06]>> Where do they work?

[00:02:07]>> To work we go. Where do they work?

[00:02:09]>> Hi ho. Hi ho.

[00:02:10]>> What if they're strippers?

[00:02:11]>> We How's it What are the words?

[00:02:16]>> Me. Hi ho.

[00:02:17]>> Hi ho. Also I'm still in my pajama top from this morning. So >> that doesn't look like a pajama top at all. Oh, thanks. And do you like my shorts?

[00:02:24]>> Pajama. I love that you say pajama.

[00:02:26]>> What do you want me to say?

[00:02:27]>> Pajamas.

[00:02:29]>> Bananas and pajamas.

[00:02:30]>> You know what's funny? Pajama and pajama. It feels like what?

[00:02:34]>> It feels like what like European people >> doing an American accent would sound like. They'd be like, "Got to put on my pajamas."

[00:02:43]>> Pajama. They're both great.

[00:02:45]>> I say pajama. Is that a Pittsburgh thing?

[00:02:47]>> No. A lot of people like I say pajamas sometimes, but I think I say pajamas and I say pajamas.

[00:02:52]>> Pajamas. Pajamas sounds very >> pajamas. Pajamas is gross.

[00:02:56]>> Yeah, >> PJs is what we would say.

[00:02:58]>> And we're not talking about private jets. Never been on one of them.

[00:03:01]>> But boy, I would love to. You never been on a private jet? That's not true.

[00:03:04]>> Yes, it is. When would I have been on a private jet?

[00:03:07]>> I thought you'd been on one.

[00:03:09]>> No.

[00:03:10]>> Like on a one of your Vegas trips?

[00:03:12]>> No.

[00:03:13]>> With all those girls you'd go to Vegas with? I went to Vegas one time. And >> you've only been to Vegas once?

[00:03:19]>> No, like with with that girl.

[00:03:21]>> With the girls, right?

[00:03:21]>> With the girls.

[00:03:22]>> Um >> I've been on a private jet.

[00:03:25]>> You have? Oh, I did know that.

[00:03:26]>> Where'd you go?

[00:03:28]>> To Napa?

[00:03:29]>> Yeah. With like someone your dad worked with?

[00:03:31]>> Yeah.

[00:03:32]>> That's cool. Is it like their private jet?

[00:03:36]>> No, they just chartered it like when they wanted to fly.

[00:03:39]>> Boo. Lame. Can't even afford your own private >> chartered. I actually think well I don't know the finances of it all because why would I know the finances of a private jet but I do feel like chartering it is like lame.

[00:03:51]>> Why? Because it's like it doesn't >> really you're going to spend $500,000 for one flight. Grow up. You can't sit in front class in first class.

[00:03:59]>> Yeah. It seems like not very financially smart. Like I get whenever there's singers who are like I have a show in Berlin and one night and then in New York the next and it's like I need to get there and I need to get there on time.

[00:04:13]>> Same.

[00:04:13]>> That I can understand. But like flying private to Vegas. It's like just [ __ ] drive >> 50 bucks tank of gas. I just like private van. Literally have someone drive you. Get like a sick ass RV and that would still be less bad to the environment and more cost >> or like a limo with like a jacuzzi.

[00:04:33]>> Yeah. Like like be silly about fun.

[00:04:35]Yeah. Get like a party bus.

[00:04:38]>> I wonder what I wonder what like >> it costs for the Jonas Brothers to fly private. Like what are how a lot.

[00:04:47]>> That's crazy. Why are the Jonas Brothers?

[00:04:49]>> I did one time look into cost of >> chartering a private plane because >> because the dogs can't fly on a normal flight.

[00:04:58]>> So, we would fly private to >> There is like a pet one now. I know that. But I was like, "Oh, I wonder how expensive it would be to just like one time fly them." And it was hundreds of thousands of dollars.

[00:05:10]>> I mean, yeah, I think it's at least like it's a hundred grand.

[00:05:13]>> Insane. cuz you have to pay for the the plane, the fuel, the pilot. You're paying everyone's salaries. And I didn't even think about this. I was at um an event the other day and this girl I sat next to, she used to be um a stewardist for private flights only, which would be so cool. I feel like I'd be really good at that.

[00:05:32]>> You would be amazing at that.

[00:05:34]>> But I was like, you know what I never thought about is when they, let's say they fly you to, you're going Fiji private. I don't even know if you can do that with like whatever. Just imagine you're flying Fiji private.

[00:05:45]>> Then the plane stays there.

[00:05:47]>> Mhm.

[00:05:48]>> So anyone working on the plane >> gets to just be on vacation.

[00:05:52]>> So then you're not just paying for >> the plane, the fuel, the staff, blah blah blah. You're paying for their rooms, their like they're on a work trip at that point. I don't know that you have to pay for that. I'm sure you do.

[00:06:04]You have to like staff it. That's just like normal flight attendants get paid if they have a layover somewhere.

[00:06:11]They're like flying to Boston. Their room's covered. They probably get food stipens.

[00:06:16]>> It says a touring artist during occasional one-offs is spending 15 to 65k per flight.

[00:06:23]>> No, >> depending on distance and aircraft.

[00:06:27]Private aviation is reserved for the top 3% think stadium level and the costs are baked into tour budgets and often partially offset by the economics of playing more shows.

[00:06:38]>> Um, no, I don't want that. I want like regular Well, I mean, I guess no regular >> LA to Vegas 5 to 11,000 on turbo props and light jets. No way. But that's probably per seat. You can buy a seat on different private planes, too.

[00:06:55]>> Okay. Wait, I'm talking about the whole plane.

[00:07:00]>> Yeah, like we're chartering. We're, you know, >> like for 10 people. Did you see the one influencer this makeup brand or it's like a I don't even really know what it's like Swan Cosmetics I think. I don't know. It's like a >> Why are you looking at me? Swan.

[00:07:13]>> It's like a a mirror and it like I don't know. I really don't know what the product is but they like very little known brand. They paid for her whole bachelorette trip and part of it was this massive private plane for her and all her friends.

[00:07:27]>> That's so fun.

[00:07:28]>> I know. It's crazy.

[00:07:29]>> Um okay, here we go. This is much more where we're at.

[00:07:33]>> Okay. A heavy jet like a Gulfream as we know.

[00:07:37]>> I don't know what that is. Uh a Gulfream G450. You don't know.

[00:07:42]>> Right. Right.

[00:07:42]>> What about a Challenger 650?

[00:07:44]>> For sure.

[00:07:45]>> GFream 450 or ultra long range jet.

[00:07:49]>> Very kind. Just tell me how much it costs.

[00:07:50]>> I'm getting there. Jesus. I'm going to put you in timeout if you interrupt me like that again.

[00:07:55]>> Is the appropriate class VIP airliners with 10 plus pass passenger capacity starts at 8,000 an hour. Realistically, you're looking at 8,000 to 14,000 an hour all in for a true 10 seat configuration. So LA to NYC would be 50 to 80 one way. NYC to Miami 30 to 50. US to Europe would be 120.

[00:08:17]>> But then like split 10 ways.

[00:08:19]>> See, that's kind of why I'm like, wait, now I get why the Jonas Brothers fly private. There's three of them.

[00:08:26]>> Everything is split three. Do you think they all make the same amount of money?

[00:08:30]Like do you think from the tour or like in general? Do you think heaven is raking the >> Yeah, but it's like at this point they are a unit >> where they don't really work the same way if you get rid of one. Like they are the whole group which as we've seen their solo careers are just never exactly the same as them together. I mean, Nick was >> for sure and now he's an actor, >> but not the way. Yes, they can do other stuff, but the way that their shows sell out like crazy. It is them as a unit. I think I'd be really upset to find out that they don't have a even split between them. Like it should be 33% of them.

[00:09:08]>> I was asking if you you were saying do they all make the same? I That's what I was asking.

[00:09:13]>> No, no, no. Not like brand deal everything. I'm saying like when they do a song, are they getting the same amount of royalties from that?

[00:09:20]>> I don't think they're cutting Kevin a less deal than the rest.

[00:09:24]>> Yeah. Or they're like unless you start singing.

[00:09:27]>> And now but also now he's the show pony >> on albums if he's not singing even background vocals. Like maybe you don't get as much if you're only playing instruments.

[00:09:38]>> I hope they all make equal.

[00:09:40]>> I high hope. High hope.

[00:09:42]>> Exactly.

[00:09:42]>> You know, I was thinking about them the other day. You're always thinking about the movies.

[00:09:46]>> You know, I it's been a lot less >> lately. What they do to you?

[00:09:50]>> Well, I think like once we saw their shows like a thousand times and like, >> you know, now they're kind of everywhere. I open my phone and they're everywhere.

[00:09:56]>> Yeah.

[00:09:57]>> And like Joe's just like in New York in every room.

[00:10:00]>> They're to be in every room. He needs things to be like a little elusive.

[00:10:04]>> I'm like, leave them wanting more.

[00:10:05]You're giving you're leaving me wanting less.

[00:10:08]>> Well, I was just thinking how crazy their life would be where like they're famous obviously. They're like extremely famous, but they're not like ever like right now. They're not like super trendy famous as a group. They are so different than anyone else. They're not like, "Oh, you're we like go watch them to have a laugh where it's like >> No, it's not like ironic. Haha.

[00:10:33]>> Yeah. Like, oh, remember this band from when we grew up?"

[00:10:35]>> Yes.

[00:10:36]>> But it's also not like, "Oh my god, their new album's coming out. I'm so excited. I'm playing it in the car.

[00:10:43]>> And then think about it, babe. They're right now in Argentina, I think, or something. And they're >> cuz I I'm telling you, they're on my feeds all the time. And they're performing for sold out crazy arenas, ravenous arenas.

[00:10:58]>> They could do an arena show every night in the same city. It would be sold out for years.

[00:11:03]>> Well, that's not true because remember they No. Remember that they canled their Dodgers one?

[00:11:09]>> They're playing at the Dodgers stadium and they they Downsized.

[00:11:13]>> Downsized.

[00:11:14]>> Yeah, we didn't go to the daughter the >> I know we didn't go there, but I feel like they did SoFi or whatever.

[00:11:20]Something bigger.

[00:11:22]>> They did not do So, right, right, right.

[00:11:31]>> Doesn't that fit like a million people?

[00:11:34]>> I don't know. We've seen Joe's at SoFi.

[00:11:36]>> I know, but like we saw Beyonce at SoFi.

[00:11:38]>> Yeah, that's different.

[00:11:39]>> Like >> so different. Like maybe them 10 years ago or 15 years ago.

[00:11:43]>> Du at Sofi.

[00:11:46]>> Taylor Swift was Taylor Swift was at >> Beyonce. Taylor Okay. Okay.

[00:11:49]>> Duo was at the forum.

[00:11:50]>> Right. Right. Right. Right.

[00:11:51]>> Uh I think the Jonas Brothers were at Crypto.

[00:11:55]>> They're all the same to me. They're they're all on the same half mile radius. I We park in the same place.

[00:12:02]Like I never know where I am.

[00:12:03]>> But can you believe that right now while we're sitting here like living our life, the Jonas Brothers must feel like their life is a movie. Like there are three brothers from a small town in New Jersey that >> if I had to be convinced that like to become famous you make a deal with the devil or like you have to sell your first >> it would be them to me.

[00:12:24]>> Oh >> yes it would.

[00:12:26]>> Girl what?

[00:12:26]>> Yeah. And then they hide behind like purity culture and Christianity.

[00:12:30]>> Oh they did that for like four years.

[00:12:31]>> No I know but like they it is so movie worthy. Like the Jonas Brothers was it Christmas movie?

[00:12:38]>> Yeah. That was so great.

[00:12:40]>> Okay, lock in. Peep is that movie with lowkey amazing.

[00:12:43]>> I forgot you guys were here for a second.

[00:12:44]>> Me, too.

[00:12:47]>> No. Okay. Sorry, guys. Um, but I don't like it does feel like a movie. Like, it feels fake.

[00:12:53]>> And then the fact that they can just stay around forever and then like, oh, we have our solo careers and sometimes they work and sometimes we don't. And they're like, we hate each other for a minute, but now we love each other.

[00:13:03]Like, it feels >> fake. That's what I'm telling you. that I'm like, "Oh, oh, oh, someone wrote a script for them."

[00:13:08]>> That's the thought I was having the other day. I don't remember why, but I was like, "They could have sold." Not like they would worship the [ __ ] devil. I'm saying like if there was some way to be like, "Hey, you press this button, you become famous, but you just have to follow these rules." It's them >> and like the scene is that all three of them put their hands on top of each other and they went one, two, three, >> Jonas Brothers.

[00:13:27]>> And then they pushed it to push the button.

[00:13:29]>> Right. Right.

[00:13:30]>> Plus, you said, "Oh, plus >> blessed." Anyway, you we me you. What did you say? You wee me. I like that.

[00:13:37]You wee me. Oh, sorry. I know you don't like that sound.

[00:13:40]>> Hate it. Um, how are you, honey?

[00:13:43]>> I'm chilling. You know what's not so good about you?

[00:13:46]>> Okay, go ahead.

[00:13:47]>> You keep hurting your same finger on your same hurting myself a lot lately.

[00:13:51]>> Taran stubbed her little finger. Then she burned a finger twice. Is it the same finger as a stubbed finger?

[00:13:58]>> Uh, no. This is the finger I burned.

[00:14:00]This is the finger I stubbed and burned.

[00:14:02]And then I and then I hurt my thumb.

[00:14:04]>> Oh, other hand. Other hand unlocked.

[00:14:06]>> Uh, yep. I've moved to my left. Okay.

[00:14:08]I'm sick of hurting my right.

[00:14:09]>> Your right hand's getting a break.

[00:14:10]>> Um, anyways, go ahead. How are you?

[00:14:12]>> Oh, I'm good. I um >> Yeah, >> I'm good.

[00:14:18]>> I think I'm good. I think uh >> I think >> Yeah, I don't know. I haven't put much thought into it this week. Um, >> you had therapy this morning. The peeps have been loving the bonus episode where we talked to Dr. McGra.

[00:14:29]>> If you haven't checked it out, check it out. It was really great.

[00:14:32]>> Yeah. I I'll use my me to share that I am so excited to be able to be interviewing other people and I think that's so fun and to get to start with like >> my thing that was like so near and dear to me was just also awesome.

[00:14:52]>> Um and I'm just loving to see the comments come through. I think mostly what we've seen is on YouTube. I don't think I've seen anything on Spotify yet, but um so fun to see that you guys liked it, got something out of it, whether you have OCD or not. So um Pillow Talk is our new series. It is out now uh with our first episode. Pillow Talk will be us having guests and we're so excited about it. So yeah, I'm feeling excited.

[00:15:16]I'm feeling creative and I >> It's fun to have a new creative outlet.

[00:15:20]>> Yeah. Yeah. And I had a great chat with my therapist this morning just talking about like more than what we normally talk about with OCD. We were talking about like manifestation and how I can still incorporate it or prayer or something like that into my life.

[00:15:35]>> Yeah. You're like working on don't believe your thoughts, but you don't want that to eliminate like I can't think good things, >> right?

[00:15:42]>> Which is really weird, >> right? So anyway, we talked all about that and it was really fun.

[00:15:46]>> Yeah. Good.

[00:15:47]>> How are you?

[00:15:47]>> And then you had like a little adjustment. a chiropractor.

[00:15:51]>> Yes. Guys, can't recommend enough. Uh if you live in the LA area, go see Dr. Michael Delquort. I love his name.

[00:16:00]>> He has such a fancy name.

[00:16:01]>> He has such a fancy name. He is a chiropractor, but more than that, he's an active release technique.

[00:16:08]>> We're going to like talk about his personality, >> but more than that, he's a gorgeous, gorgeous man.

[00:16:11]>> Oh my god, he's so silly. I love that.

[00:16:13]>> He's such a goober. I I finally got Cam and you loved it.

[00:16:17]>> Yeah, I think we talked about that last week.

[00:16:18]>> Okay. But it's called art and it's really amazing and you basically can tell him anything.

[00:16:23]>> What's art?

[00:16:24]>> Active release technique. That's like how he holds and you have to like move your arm in a certain way or >> good and bad.

[00:16:30]>> Yeah. He basically finds like a knot or a nerve or something that's bothering you and then does all these like complex but like little movements and then it loosens in really nice ways. So if you go tell him that I sent you because he loves when I send people to him. Um and he loves me a lot. So you might get great treatment if he finds out you're one of us.

[00:16:52]>> Yeah.

[00:16:52]>> And how are you my love?

[00:16:54]>> I'm good. Um I've been reading a bit again.

[00:16:57]>> You have been?

[00:16:58]>> Yeah. It's been really nice. So we've been listening to relistening to rereading I don't know. Uh seven I I wanted to say the seven wives. That sounds so much better.

[00:17:10]>> Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugans.

[00:17:13]>> Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo because this weekend is book club.

[00:17:16]>> Sunday lock in either.

[00:17:18]>> Sunday. Did you tell people the exact time? Cuz when I looked you said like Saturday or Sunday. I did, honey. Oh, you did?

[00:17:24]>> Yep.

[00:17:24]>> Okay. So, it's Sunday at what time?

[00:17:25]>> 11. 11.

[00:17:26]>> 11 PST. We'll see you guys Sunday at 11.

[00:17:30]Um, it's been so nice rereading that, listening to it, listening to it for the first time, experiencing the story for the second time.

[00:17:37]>> Okay. You don't have to do all of that when you say an audio book. You know, >> I feel really wrong saying I'm reading something if I'm listening to something.

[00:17:43]>> I always say reading because I also >> do the read and listen feature.

[00:17:48]>> I don't.

[00:17:49]>> Okay, then. Yeah, you can't tell anyone you read anything.

[00:17:51]>> I'm showering and listening to it.

[00:17:52]Anyway, >> you're not reading li.

[00:17:54]>> I'm listening to that and it's really fun to experience that story again. But then I also a friend of mine recommended this book on pregnancy which I have mixed feelings about but I wanted to share some stuff about it with you. I would love before we get into that. How are we >> and then I'll go back to that.

[00:18:11]>> I think we're good. I'm trying you pondered so heavy.

[00:18:14]>> Well, I'm trying to be a good partner to you this week. Um >> and I'm noticing you're feeling just a little wave of like you're feeling a little down this week.

[00:18:25]>> Yeah.

[00:18:26]>> And it's hard for me right now to know how to be there for you.

[00:18:31]>> Yeah.

[00:18:31]>> Because you don't know how to be there for you during this time.

[00:18:34]>> Right. during this down spell. So, it's just, you know, I like I feel like we are good, but I also feel like a lot of anxiety that I'm not being a good partner for you.

[00:18:48]>> Yeah, I hear you. Um, you're being great.

[00:18:50]>> Okay.

[00:18:50]>> One thing I really thought was so cute and funny, um, Taran had to return something and she just kept putting it off, but it was like a return that was for a work thing for me. it too much background.

[00:19:02]But she kept putting off, kept pushing it off, and I was like getting a little frustrated, but I wasn't really saying anything. And then you finally returned it. And >> I also kept getting closer to doing it, but never doing it where like I put the box downstairs, then I put the boxes in the car, >> just moving around, but it was like never actually getting done. And she did it and came home and was like, "Sorry, I'm a doofus, and I shouldn't have taken so long to do that. that was so easy and that didn't impact me. It impacted you, but it was the thing I had to do. And I really appreciated just like that acknowledgement. It's so much easier to like get over things and not give a [ __ ] when someone else acknowledges it instead of like >> me having to be like, "Hey, >> that didn't feel good." Blah, blah, blah. And then, yeah, even if you handle that well and you're like, "I'm sorry, whatever." It's so much nicer to just be like, >> "That was silly. I should handle that quicker. Yeah, sorry." And then it's like, "Well, I'm not gonna be mad at that." you know, appreciate it.

[00:20:00]>> Good job.

[00:20:00]>> That's an unlocked girl.

[00:20:02]>> Yes. Um, okay. Anyways, the book that I'm reading right now, my friend recommended. It's called Expecting Better and it's by Emily Auster. She's an economist.

[00:20:13]And basically, when she got pregnant, she was very frustrated or when she was thinking about getting pregnant, I think it was, she was really frustrated with how confusing information is. And I think this goes back to a topic we talk about a lot on the podcast, which is women's health is so confusing. Yes.

[00:20:27]>> And a lot of times women don't experience this until they're trying to get pregnant or are pregnant because that's the first time we're like really going to doctors for things. Like there's unless you have like a health issue or a big surgery. You're not really having to deal with doctors as often. And over these last two whatever years doing fertility stuff, it's been really apparent to me. It's hard because I like to just trust an expert. I want to be like, you know what you're doing.

[00:20:54]I'm just going to follow you. Not blindly, but like who am I to question you? I'm not a doctor.

[00:21:00]>> And who am I to quote unquote research cuz not really research. I'm not like doing studies and tests and like getting peer reviewed, right?

[00:21:08]>> I'm googling [ __ ] So who >> And you're like And you're like putting research against other research and being like, "What do I more?"

[00:21:15]>> Yeah. reading Reddit and blogs and like and using no medical background to try to differentiate what is what. But it is also hard because doctors have a lot of specific opinions and they're basing stuff on certain studies and they're not really giving you stats. So Emily was frustrated because she being an economist is and she's also a teacher.

[00:21:39]She's used to we look at the facts and then you it's like risk assessment where to one person how much a house is worth is more or less than to another person.

[00:21:51]Even if you look at all of the stats of like how much is a house worth in the area and how many bedrooms and square footage whatever but then you might go well this is perfect home for my family and it's where I want to be. So you're willing to spend a little bit more than someone else.

[00:22:03]>> Yeah. And when you ask doctors questions like if I am planning to get pregnant in the next year, should I stop drinking coffee? They are only going to have so much information. One, a lot of tests are very limited because we don't test stuff on pregnant women, right? Because >> which we should start testing pregnant women >> and I mean we do to an extent on certain things and there's ways to test without specifically being like here pregnant women, you're going to have 20 cups of coffee a day and let's see if your baby comes out normal. Like obviously that would be insane, but you can go retroactively and say >> how much coffee did you have during your pregnancy and there's no issues. So, but then you have to think about other issues that can come to play. Um there's been a lot of studies on like are TVs okay for kids. There's been a ton of studies that like kids under two should not watch TV.

[00:22:55]>> Okay. But then it's confusing because it's the we're not telling kids parents like, "Hey, have your kid watch eight hours of TV a day. We want to see how it impacts them." So instead, they're going and finding kids who are watching a lot of TV.

[00:23:09]>> But then there's other variables, >> right? Why is the kid watching so much TV?

[00:23:13]>> Yeah. It's like, are they neglected?

[00:23:15]Yeah.

[00:23:15]>> Are they have too many siblings in the house? Like there's so many variables, you don't know what's what. So she, the point of her book is to just take the facts that she looks into. She finds all the studies and share them in a digestible way so you can make your own opinions.

[00:23:30]>> I love the concept. She very quickly threw me off with her alcohol consumption. Um >> she time for the throwdown.

[00:23:42]>> She didn't say that she recommends or doesn't recommend anything in this book.

[00:23:45]It's like the only thing she's like the one thing I will say is that there's no disputing it. Smoking is bad. Smoking is bad. Why? Right. Love that. Agree.

[00:23:55]>> But then she basically goes in to say that like >> alcohol isn't a big deal.

[00:24:00]>> Oh, in in small amounts. However, her small amounts of drinking is one drink a day.

[00:24:09]One drink a day, I think, for anyone's body, pregnant or not, is too much drinking.

[00:24:14]>> Interesting.

[00:24:14]>> Drinking every single day. This wasn't like you are at an engagement party for your best friend and you want a glass of champagne. Sure.

[00:24:24]But she takes a lot of studies that were done in places like Australia who have different drinking cultures and she's comparing it to America. We have like very insane drinking culture like against it really like we're way more >> prude in that sense. But in Europe, in Australia, drinking culture is way more prevalent. People will go out to lunch during work and have a glass of wine.

[00:24:46]And a glass of wine isn't like to get drunk. It's because it pairs well with food.

[00:24:50]>> Right. Um, so they say you can't you can't tell me people are out at lunch in Australia being like I think they tie good yet.

[00:24:59]>> Whatever. That wasn't right.

[00:25:01]>> That was very South African. You know what I mean? Something of you.

[00:25:03]>> No, they're doing it to get a little buzz.

[00:25:05]>> Yeah. Um, >> regardless, >> but it's so funny. One of the stats that she act like she's saying she's not putting her opinion and stuff, but she strategically is not sharing every single fact that she read. And one fact she came across is that the IQ of children who came from a a mom who did have light drinking during her pregnancy have higher IQs.

[00:25:33]>> But then in my head it's similar to the watching TV thing where I'm like, "Oh girl, >> I'm just imagine imagining this chic Parisian woman." Yeah.

[00:25:40]>> Who had a couple glasses of wine while she was pregnant and she's just too cool to have a dumb kid.

[00:25:46]>> Yes. like her kid's going to be smart because she is chic as [ __ ] Like she's not >> That is so funny.

[00:25:52]>> It's insane.

[00:25:53]>> Does she Does she acknowledge that >> or she states it as fact and like this is the definitive thing? It doesn't actually matter.

[00:26:01]>> This is um Okay, let me read you this one excerpt. Um for alcohol, this means up to one drink a day in the second and third trimester and a couple of drinks a week in the first. In fact, for the most part, studies fail to show negative effects.

[00:26:18]Negative effects on babies, even at levels higher than this. By a drink here, I mean a standard drink. 4 ounces of wine, one ounce of hard liquor.

[00:26:27]Imagine you're ripping a shot and you're pregnant.

[00:26:29]>> That is crazy.

[00:26:30]>> 12 ounces of beer, no yard long margaritas. Caffeine is actually a little more complicated. She's like, alcohol, we know. Have a drink a day in the second and third trimester. Don't have too much in the beginning. There are however effects that getting pregnant and drinking during that time.

[00:26:47]So like she did say not during the first trimester.

[00:26:50]>> She said less less than that during that time.

[00:26:52]>> Give her that. Give her that.

[00:26:53]>> I'll give her that. Um but she said that if you were, let's say you get pregnant, you don't know you're pregnant, you go on a bachelorette trip, >> you're in Vegas, you are wasted. You may lose that baby more likely. It's not about like it having negative effects on the kid. It's actually not misaring.

[00:27:15]>> Um, and then that got into really interesting facts about miscarriage rates being higher, which I feel like we've talked about and like getting pregnant in general is harder, but not about that, more about miscarriages. We used to not be able to test >> for pregnancy until way later. It has changed so much. the most disgusting thing ever. One of the first pregnancy tests where like you would pee and then they would put it in the ear of a rabbit and then they'd have to kill the rabbit to I'm She like casually dropped this. I haven't looked into it, but I was like how the [ __ ] did they putting the pee into the rabbit in the ear of the rabbit and then what does the rabbit do to say that?

[00:27:54]>> I don't know. She didn't go to detail and I was like >> drops dead. Oh.

[00:28:01]>> Oh, I know. I know. I was like what the [ __ ] Anyways, with modern pregnancy tests, which are very very modern, like I'm saying like n in our lifetime >> that you can detect >> whatever the tagline is, like 5 days before your mis period. We used to not be able to do that. And that timing of getting pregnant to like 2 weeks into your mis period, the rate of miscarriage is so astronomically high.

[00:28:30]>> I think it was like >> I forget the number. I didn't write it down, but the number of women who have not known and had a miscarriage is like 50 plus%.

[00:28:42]>> That's really so crazy.

[00:28:44]>> But the more likely you have that miscarriage early on, the more likely you are to have more pregnancies. I think it just shows that you're like very cap No, very capable of >> getting pregnant and not the embryo isn't always going to implant and stick.

[00:28:57]And it's also funny cuz those numbers are very similar to IVF embryo implantation.

[00:29:02]>> Oh. So, I'm like that that just makes sense. It's like at that stage when your embryo tries to implant and starts growing, sometimes your body goes n and sometimes it's like, "Yeah, let's do it."

[00:29:12]>> Yeah.

[00:29:13]>> Um and then even harder when you're naturally getting pregnant cuz sometimes that embryo isn't a healthy embryo where a lot of times with IVF they're checking to know that it is. Did you ask the girl who recommended this book what she thought about the alcohol part? Yeah, our friend recommended it and she knows so much about pregnancy and stuff and I didn't I haven't talked to her about the alcohol part, but I asked her about tees that you can have leading up to pregnancy and when you're pregnant cuz I recently learned there's so many tees you can't have it's very confusing and I was like I need to get to the bottom of this. There's like very minimal studies and she asked if I had read the book. So yeah, I need to ask her about the drinking aspect and what she thought. I feel like she's so health conscious, too. Like, she barely drinks >> at all. So, I'd be surprised if she was down with that school of thought.

[00:29:59]>> I know. I'm just like it feels dangerous in there. I understand the book sharing like, hey, we actually don't have a lot of data, and the data we do have is like actually leaning more alcohol is safe, but obviously this isn't something to play with. Yeah.

[00:30:12]>> But it was almost like, yeah, have a glass at dinner every night. I'm like, well, give us a book report when you're done.

[00:30:17]>> I will. I'm going to keep reading it because I'm curious >> about all of the intel in it.

[00:30:22]>> I don't know that I'll be using it to make any decisions for myself in the future, but I'm I'm just curious and I think it's like an important topic that it's hard to know what is what.

[00:30:32]>> Well, I come to you with important topics.

[00:30:36]>> Oh, what do you >> And I do know what's what because I have the data.

[00:30:39]>> Okay.

[00:30:39]>> First of all, >> is this what I wasn't allowed to look at?

[00:30:42]>> Um, yes. Okay, cool.

[00:30:43]>> But I fear you might have seen it in the notes.

[00:30:45]>> I didn't look at all. Do you know?

[00:30:47]Except for when I put the story, it accidentally went in the center of whatever you're typing, but I didn't read a single word. I promise.

[00:30:54]>> Well, let's guess. This is a choose your own adventure. I have I have two things to share. Well, three, but the third I'm going to tell you first.

[00:31:00]>> Do you think it's funny if I start using um like doing a bit where people or where I like say people have munchousins or should I not do that?

[00:31:11]>> Probably not.

[00:31:12]>> Okay. Okay. I'm going to guess not.

[00:31:16]Okay. Me and my chiropractor were joking about Munchousins today. Okay. And he was like, "Yeah, people will like jokingly ask me about or they'll ask me if I have something and I'll just say like, "Oh yeah, it's Munchhousands." And I'm like, but he's he was joking. And then I was like, "Wait, that's so funny because I always think even the word munchousins is so funny.

[00:31:36]>> It is a funny word." Um, and then I was like, maybe I'll use that as a bit moving forward is just like to refer to things as munchousins, but I wasn't sure because like it's it is a disorder, but it is like >> a funny one.

[00:31:54]>> Okay.

[00:31:54]>> Um, like we're joking so much about OCD and so like I'm sure >> you can joke about it because you have it.

[00:32:00]>> Yeah.

[00:32:03]>> Like >> maybe >> and I can kind of joke about it because I live with it. But I think like if you would say you're telling me I have OCD and I might not because that would be Munchousen's by proxy.

[00:32:17]>> I think unless you are what's her face?

[00:32:20]Um >> whatever. I want to call her Rudga.

[00:32:23]That's not her name.

[00:32:24]>> Ruby Ro.

[00:32:26]>> Rose. Ruby. Rose.

[00:32:28]>> Gypsy.

[00:32:29]>> Gypsy Rose.

[00:32:32]>> Um yeah. I don't know.

[00:32:34]>> Okay, I'll leave that.

[00:32:35]>> Test it out. You can test it out.

[00:32:37]>> I'll try it tonight.

[00:32:38]>> Okay.

[00:32:38]>> We're seeing some friends tonight. I'll try the Munchousins and see if anyone's upset.

[00:32:43]>> And also, if anyone here has had Munchhousins and this is not funny, please let me know.

[00:32:47]>> Yeah. I don't know if that's a disrespectful one or not.

[00:32:50]>> You know, it's just like >> so few have had it, right? I mean, >> I don't know.

[00:32:55]>> I don't even know if they know they have it, which is true even so sad, too.

[00:32:59]>> Yeah.

[00:32:59]>> Anyway, okay. Now I have Now I have two things and you can choose.

[00:33:02]>> Okay.

[00:33:03]>> Uh, baby names.

[00:33:04]>> Ooh, yes. or we're going to do both.

[00:33:07]>> Baby names.

[00:33:08]>> Why am I picking?

[00:33:09]>> You pick which one you want to go first.

[00:33:11]Baby names or uh sexuality adult survey?

[00:33:18]>> Ooh, those are so don't go together. Um let's start with how what one's going to be weirder to transition into. It's >> Let's start with the sexuality for 100, babe.

[00:33:31]>> Okay. A a new study just came out. It was done from April 2025 to March 2026. So it like just was shared.

[00:33:41]>> Okay.

[00:33:42]>> They surveyed 80, no 58,000 US adults.

[00:33:47]>> Okay.

[00:33:47]>> Ages 18 to 64.

[00:33:49]>> Oh wow.

[00:33:50]>> They asked them to share their sexuality.

[00:33:53]>> Oh interesting. Okay.

[00:33:55]>> And it's broken down by generation.

[00:33:57]>> Okay. Okay. Boomers.

[00:33:59]95% straight, 4% homosexual, 1% bisexual.

[00:34:06]>> Wow. Wait, you're not having me guess these numbers?

[00:34:10]>> I'll I'll let you guess. Gen Z.

[00:34:11]>> Okay.

[00:34:12]>> So, boomers are 95% straight.

[00:34:14]>> Yeah, that doesn't >> Gen X goes down to 94% straight.

[00:34:18]>> Oh, wow. Very little.

[00:34:19]>> Homosexual goes down one. So it goes from 4% to 3% by >> and 2% to up by >> the same stats of queer. It's just like different versions of gray.

[00:34:30]>> Basically queer starts to get >> gray >> gray.

[00:34:33]>> Um but the straight buckets get smaller.

[00:34:36]Millennials it now goes down to 90% straight. So it went from 95 to 94 to 90.

[00:34:43]>> We're only at 10% queer our generation.

[00:34:47]>> Yeah. This is to people of 94. However, >> I I only know that 10% of people. I guess >> the breakdown is now in for millennials 5% bisexual. So, bisexual went from 1 to two to 5%.

[00:35:01]>> Jumped.

[00:35:02]>> Um 3% homosexual, 1% pansexual, and then there's probably a breakdown at the last%.

[00:35:08]>> I'm in the top. Well, I'm in the top three. She Now, Jenzie, what percent straight do you think they are? So, it went from 95 to 94 to 90.

[00:35:21]>> It's going to be a big drop. Like 75 to 80% is straight.

[00:35:28]>> 82% straight.

[00:35:29]>> Okay. Wishful thinking. Bisexuals jumps from 5% to 9%.

[00:35:34]>> Yeah, I was going to say 10%.

[00:35:36]>> And then the breakdown after is 4% homosexual, 2% bisexual or pansexual, 1% asexual, 1% queer, 1% other. So, in short, the stats land on one in five Gen Z is now nonstraight.

[00:35:52]>> Nice. One in five.

[00:35:53]>> The kids are all right.

[00:35:54]>> Isn't that crazy?

[00:35:55]>> That is crazy.

[00:35:56]>> Bisexual went from 1% to 9%.

[00:35:59]>> Yeah.

[00:36:00]>> Between generations.

[00:36:01]>> I'd like to see the breakdown of these.

[00:36:04]How many people like within that queer community went from straight to by or from other versions of queer to by? Yes.

[00:36:15]>> You know, >> and then the last like little takeaway is that this is the first time that bisexual outnumbers homosexual in a generation.

[00:36:22]>> I got to say if I had >> Yeah. a survey and they asked my sexuality >> like this one.

[00:36:29]>> I would not think to select homosexual.

[00:36:34]>> Homosexual.

[00:36:34]>> Homosexual. What would you say? Queer.

[00:36:37]>> Like if that if those were my only options like lesbian or gay.

[00:36:41]>> No, lesbian's not on here and gay is not on here.

[00:36:43]>> Yeah, lesbian not being on here is such a mess. But like >> homo, you're a homo.

[00:36:48]>> I'm I am homo.

[00:36:49]>> Homo. But I think if queer was an option, I'd probably pick that over homosexual.

[00:36:55]>> But isn't it funny like no one boomers are saying queer?

[00:36:58]>> Yeah. But like was that an option in those ones too?

[00:37:02]>> Yeah, they were this same options for everyone.

[00:37:06]>> Yeah. Wow.

[00:37:06]>> What are your theories?

[00:37:09]Why is bisexuality growing or is it actually growing? Well, I think in later or earlier times if you had the option to choose if you were bisexual, a lot of people boomer generation and even maybe X were being like, "Oh, I'm going to pick the one that I can hide in plain sight and just be straight." Like, if I have the capability of liking the opposite sex, I'm going to do that.

[00:37:38]Yeah.

[00:37:38]>> Because it's just not worth the blowback then. by eraser is real. And so that's a large piece of it too where it's like people just didn't know that it was okay to be by.

[00:37:47]>> Yeah. I think even if they were aware that they were attracted to the same sex, they were like not going there.

[00:37:52]Yep.

[00:37:52]>> Then if they were capable of being attracted to the same sex, they maybe weren't even aware.

[00:37:58]>> So it's like >> whether the awareness was there, >> you would choose not to or the awareness wasn't there. There's way more representation these days. And then you also have like if you were somebody who was attracted to the same sex >> and typically like met someone that you were so in love with then it was like you go through this whole process you come out. You're not going to contradict that later on to be like well actually I I'm more fluid than that. It's not just that black and white. It is a little bit more grayscale here.

[00:38:30]>> So I think people are more like it's this or that. There's no in between for a long time.

[00:38:35]True. Some other that's like a fact.

[00:38:39]>> No, I mean all of those these are theories. Theory can be No. No. Like a theory is a theory.

[00:38:44]>> I thought you like had an answer.

[00:38:45]>> No.

[00:38:47]Some other thoughts is social desiraability shift. Meaning older generations grew up when disclosure was genuinely dangerous.

[00:38:54]>> So the data reflects people's safety in saying it, not necessarily who it's true for.

[00:39:00]>> Like someone might >> This was only done during this last year though. Yeah. It's not like they were asked during their teen years, but even now they're not. They're like, "No, I'm not.

[00:39:08]>> I've made it my whole life." Yeah.

[00:39:09]>> Yeah. You think I'm going to out myself for this [ __ ] survey?

[00:39:12]>> Another is um the identity vocabulary expanding. So, bisexual and pansexual barely existed as common language in the '9s.

[00:39:20]>> So, they didn't even know to say it.

[00:39:22]>> Yeah.

[00:39:22]>> Um >> Oh, do you How many people do you think on here aren't out, but they took the survey and they like for the first time said it checked a box that wasn't just straight? Yep. Um, minority stress theory. As stigma decreases, the physiological cost of claiming a non-straight identity goes down, which means lower cost equals more disclosure.

[00:39:44]>> Um, social contagion research shows that identity labels spread through peer networks. So, Gen Z grew up with queer peers, queer media, queer language, normalized way more from early adolescence.

[00:39:55]>> And then measurement is getting better, too.

[00:39:59]>> Yeah. So, a >> all those things. Anyway, so I thought that was interesting.

[00:40:02]>> That is so interesting.

[00:40:03]>> The buys are coming alive. They were erased and now they're back.

[00:40:06]>> They're loud.

[00:40:07]>> I mean, I guess not back. They're as loud as they've ever been.

[00:40:10]>> They're out >> now. Baby names.

[00:40:12]>> Oh boy.

[00:40:14]>> Okay. Are there any that you like? Are these top baby names?

[00:40:17]>> Which name, US name, woman's name?

[00:40:20]>> Mhm.

[00:40:21]>> Spent the most years at number one.

[00:40:24]>> Okay. I'm not sure how all these questions are going to be, but I do spend a lot of time on baby name Tik Tok. Okay. So I there is this girl that like shares a lot of lists.

[00:40:32]>> I'm just here to share two.

[00:40:33]>> But wait spent is there a time frame?

[00:40:36]>> No.

[00:40:36]>> Spent in in modern US history. Which name has spent the longest time as the top name?

[00:40:43]>> Okay. Cuz right now and for the past few years has been Olivia.

[00:40:46]>> Oh no. I'm talking 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s.

[00:40:49]I'm talking like >> um >> No, I'll give you another try.

[00:40:54]>> Am I in the right realm? I'm like, you're totally in the right realm.

[00:40:58]>> Charlotte, Cather, >> think about like grandma names.

[00:41:02]>> Nancy, grandma names.

[00:41:08]Joan. I'm just naming my grandma.

[00:41:12]>> The answer is Mary.

[00:41:16]>> Mary.

[00:41:16]>> Mary.

[00:41:17]>> Oh, that's why it's everyone's middle name now because it was like Yeah, it was everyone's ancestors names. Of course. How could I forget? Mary >> had a 400 >> I do have a grandma. Mary >> Mary had a 400year reign as number one.

[00:41:31]Wow.

[00:41:32]>> The number one baby name.

[00:41:33]>> Wait, 400 years?

[00:41:35]>> Yes.

[00:41:35]>> Whoa.

[00:41:36]>> Which name knocked it off the top in 1948?

[00:41:41]>> 1948.

[00:41:44]Wow.

[00:41:44]>> Now, this is a name. Everyone has someone in their life named this. We've talked about this.

[00:41:50]>> It's Linda.

[00:41:51]>> It's Linda.

[00:41:52]>> I was not going to guess that. Wait, but that's so funny because I have a grandma Mary and I have an aunt Linda >> and I have an aunt Linda. I don't have Grandma Mary, but um >> Linda at the peak of its usage in 1948, 5.5% of baby girls were named Linda.

[00:42:10]>> Whoa.

[00:42:10]>> 5%.

[00:42:12]>> And there was a big song uh by >> Wait, what year did it take?

[00:42:15]>> 1948. There was there was music right around there, a really popular song called Linda. And they think that that's like part of what did it. And then like somebody's wife, some famous person's wife was also named Linda at that time.

[00:42:26]>> Um, but >> Linda Evangelista, what's her name?

[00:42:30]>> I don't know. But Mary had the longest reign. Linda of all US women baby names had the highest peak.

[00:42:39]>> Oh, like it came in hot and heavy.

[00:42:40]>> Came in hot and heavy.

[00:42:41]>> Okay.

[00:42:42]>> Isn't that crazy?

[00:42:42]>> Wow.

[00:42:43]>> Yeah.

[00:42:43]>> Yeah. We always T and I are always saying everyone has an Aunt Linda. It is possibly the most dominant female name in any 5-year window in US recorded history.

[00:42:52]>> Wow. It's so funny though because I it Yeah, that makes sense that it's so consolidated because I know a million people who have like I know Mary's. I know a lot of people with middle name Mary's.

[00:43:06]>> Oh yeah. You know somebody named Mary?

[00:43:07]Who? Say it.

[00:43:09]>> My aunt and grandma.

[00:43:10]>> No. Who is she?

[00:43:11]>> E. Anyways, um what was I saying? Oh, Mary got you all tongue tied.

[00:43:19]>> But we talked about we always talk about how everyone has an aunt, Linda. Yeah. I don't know many Linda's. I only knew my aunt Linda growing up.

[00:43:27]>> Yeah, but you know Linda's everyone's aunt's name is Linda. You know that now?

[00:43:33]>> But I never personally knew a Linda except for my aunt Linda. And then you meet someone and they're like, I have an Aunt Linda. Like everyone knows one singular Linda like in their family. I know too cuz I know your aunt and you know my aunt. You >> I know. But you didn't like you only know her cuz she's my aunt. Like you didn't personally you're not like knowing many Linda's. That's why it's so clear they're all around the same age.

[00:43:53]>> It was like this quick peak like you said it came in quick and then it left really quickly. Yeah.

[00:43:57]>> Where it's like I >> you're not naming many people in the family the same name. So it's like we all have one Linda.

[00:44:04]>> So it feels kind of >> Linda.

[00:44:06]>> It feels kind of really rare.

[00:44:08]>> #Linda spread it around. My aunt Linda was the only Aunt Linda to me for so long and then like I'd meet other people my age and they'd be like my aunt's Linda too.

[00:44:18]>> Oh my Linda.

[00:44:19]>> Oh my Linda.

[00:44:20]>> #1Linda. You guys share this with your Linda.

[00:44:24]>> And let her know.

[00:44:25]>> Send this to your personal Linda.

[00:44:26]>> Send this to your personal Linda.

[00:44:28]>> It's such a cute name. Like it to me it was like >> it's so stuck in that generation that it was like oh it's like it's just an aunt name. Yeah, >> but now that I'm like hearing it in my head, I'm like, Linda, that's so cute.

[00:44:40]>> There's a Linda at my work. There might be multiple, but I know one Linda my work.

[00:44:44]>> Let's get to the pee stories.

[00:44:45]>> Doesn't Linda mean beautiful in Spanish?

[00:44:47]>> See, >> see, big yawn.

[00:44:52]>> Okay, I think I'm hungry.

[00:44:54]>> Me, too. And it's making me yawn.

[00:44:55]>> Let's do two pee stories. As always, call in. Number's in the bio or whatever. Email.

[00:45:01]>> Text me if you want to reach me.

[00:45:03]>> I'm going to read you the first one first.

[00:45:05]>> Do it, girl. Hi, long time pee pe.

[00:45:09]>> I'm sure they keep this anon will do.

[00:45:12]So, what's your name? I'm gonna say it real quick.

[00:45:14]>> Linda, I'm just kidding. No, but we will call you Linda. Linda says, "I'm a musician and I want to start posting more on social media, like talking to camera specifically. But I think what's holding me back from sharing is that I'm scared to feel judged by the people that know me and I know there's no way my videos will do well at first. I know I shouldn't care, but can you both share your best tips for someone starting out like me? Pump me up to start shooting my shot. I need to get out there. Okay.

[00:45:42]Love you both. Love your confidence to share on social media. Bye. Oh my god.

[00:45:46]No one has ever started posting on social media and not been a flop >> with Yeah. It's like no one honestly the people who just post one time like if if a Tik Tok goes viral and you open to their page, it's their only video they have >> 100%. And it's like then if they keep posting, they're not like becoming a content creator. Like that's not how it works. As long as you like what you're posting and you're a fan of what you're posting, none of it matters. The algorithm is so funky. Some of my favorite creators get very, very, very little views. And I'd be devastated if they never started. Just make what you like and make it for you. And like ask for feedback from your friends and have a good support system around you. Don't worry if no one's seeing it. who's judging you?

[00:46:31]And like we have a lot of content creator friends and this is a question that other friends in the friend group that aren't content creators or haven't been have started to ask like well I kind of want to post stuff. I want to like share my outfits. I want to share my music. I want to share my cooking.

[00:46:47]Whatever. And it's like the answer to this them is this the answer to them is the same answer we would give you or anyone which is just like if you care to do it do it. It's going to feel weird >> there. That is a non-negotiable. Like even if you love the content that you're putting out, it feels weird to post yourself online and be like, "Uh, my friends probably see this and are like, "This is weird. She's trying something."

[00:47:14]Which >> think about that part, >> which they don't, but that's what you think. And if they do, they're weird and goofy. Like, >> if they do, they're weird and goofy.

[00:47:20]That's so true.

[00:47:21]>> Why would anyone care if someone's posting online? Like, it is so bizarre.

[00:47:26]I have never met a successful creator who's ever judged somebody who started making content online. Like unless they're being a creep and leeching off of them and using them.

[00:47:36]>> I've like >> I have known many creators from very small creators to very big creators. And if somebody new is like, "Yeah, I kind of want to start posting." They are the most supportive, the most like, "Do it, go get it." So the only people are judging are people who are so scared that they would never do it. they would never even try. It's like a people hate when other people have the confidence to do things.

[00:48:02]>> So then they're like, who do you think you are that like anyone cares to see your outfit video or whatever it may be?

[00:48:07]And like we still feel weird sometimes posting things online or I do. I don't want to speak for you, but like I'll post something and be like >> feel a little cringe at myself sometimes and I'm like, but I like it. I never think of people seeing it, >> but then I never see anyone else's stuff and think they're cringey. It's just we all think that about ourselves.

[00:48:28]>> And at some point, >> you have to just get over it because what do they say? Everything you want is on the other side of cringe. Like just try. It's It's going to feel weird to try hard at anything, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. In fact, you should probably do it more if it's something you really want to do. So yeah, it's the same with everything.

[00:48:45]It's like, "Oh, I want to be a basketball player. I've never touched basketball." You're going to look Sorry, my lips did a funny thing.

[00:48:50]>> That was so crazy.

[00:48:51]>> You're going to look really silly dribbling a basketball for the first time you ever do it.

[00:48:56]>> Yeah, >> do it. And the next time it's going to be easier. I honestly I post and I don't ever think of anyone that I personally know seeing it.

[00:49:05]>> It's cuz you've been in the game for a while.

[00:49:06]>> No, but I never have. Even when I first started and I didn't have followers and Well, I was lucky because I started on Tumblr so people I knew didn't see it. I wasn't sharing it. like there wasn't other social media really at the time like it it was just different like I wasn't posting and like everyone in my life I know can see it all so I still operate from that like anonymous posting or like having my little corner of the internet so when I am talking to family or friends or people who are outside of the creator world and they're like oh yeah I liked your video on blah blah blah I'm like huh why'd you watch that when people talk about watching listening to our podcast I clam up because I'm like that's not for I mean, I love when our friends do because it's very validating.

[00:49:51]>> Friends do, but there's like certain family members I'm like, >> well, like like I was going to say adults, but like parents, I'm like, don't listen to that. But like, >> yeah, they're Yeah. I'm like I just post it. Just post it cuz you like it and you're going to keep getting better at it. And then when it's being really successful for you, they're going to be the ones feeling embarrassed.

[00:50:11]>> Two other thoughts. It's proven that we think that everyone notices things about us way more than they actually do. So, >> we're just not that important.

[00:50:18]>> Know that like you're everyone's thinking about themselves. Yeah. At the end of the day. So, they're not worried about you. They're worried about the comment they're going to leave for you or the like or the whatever. There's that. The second thing is if I've seen some creators recently who just like start the video by being like, "Hey, I feel nervous to post something online, but I'm going to do it anyway. I'm pushing myself to do it anyway. Here we go." and then they they talk about their thing, they play their song, they draw their picture, like whatever it is.

[00:50:45]>> I those things I find endearing.

[00:50:48]>> So, especially when there's people who are like this world is bizarre and you now have to be good at social media, whether you're a baker, a musician, a makeup artist, like it is embedded into marketing unfortunately and like people get hired models, actors because of their following where I feel like people also are quicker to accept that.

[00:51:11]vlogging people who do that way more gentle. It's like easier to be doing that.

[00:51:23]>> And there's tons of people who vlog their life just as a normal day. And those people get huge, too, because it's like, >> who do I think I am? I'm just me. I'm just showing you what a normal day.

[00:51:31]>> That's kind of the point. Like, I'm I'm not special. Like, that's why I've enjoyed starting vlogging again, cuz I'm like, it's such a mundane day. Yeah, >> that's what I don't like it.

[00:51:45]Shares are gold when it comes to the algorithm. So, let them share it. Let them comment on it. Or not comment, comment to each other about it.

[00:51:53]>> Watch it.

[00:51:53]>> They're getting Yeah, you're getting that retention time up. You're getting that engagement.

[00:51:58]>> Yeah, >> it's great.

[00:51:59]>> You got this. Send us your video once you put it up. We'd love to see it.

[00:52:01]>> We'll like We'll We'll comment.

[00:52:03]>> We'll like, comment, subscribe, share.

[00:52:05]>> Okay, we have one more story for today.

[00:52:07]>> Let's do it. Hi, Tammy. Hi, Karen. This is cool because I feel like I'm sending a voice note to my friends. Okay, so I'm 30. My wife is also 30. We just got married two months ago. Um, I guess my question is, how did you guys talk about having kids? How did you guys talk about finances? As lesbians, it is very expensive to do this. Um, I'm not asking cost, but break down, you know, like how much is everything? I'm trying to find stuff online because we're having more conversations of um if we want to have kids, we we both love kids, but I think we're okay with not having any if it is going to kill us um and break the bank.

[00:52:47]I am a dual citizen of um in Spain, so I could like we could do this in Spain and do it for half the price, but in Spain you cannot pick your donor. So, there is that. Um I guess there's really nothing that I need that we need to save for. we already own our home. We already had a wedding. Um, but I guess we're having more like real conversations and it's very scary how real they are that like are we going to be doing this? We we're 30. Do we want to be freezing our eggs?

[00:53:17]Um, you know, what is it going to look like? Um, we've talked about knee caring. We've talked about doing reciprocal IVF. Um, so I guess I wanted just to hear your thoughts on how you came to that conclusion. Um, and I think you guys are the perfect people for this question. Um, I would appreciate any advice. Thank you. Thank you so much.

[00:53:36]And I love the podcast. Bye, guys.

[00:53:38]>> Yeah, that's a tough cue. What are What are your thoughts, Bob?

[00:53:41]>> Um, yeah, my thoughts are if both of you could go either way.

[00:53:47]My first gut read is like, then don't have kids. Like I felt like if I feel like if we could really be like we could have a really complete life without kids.

[00:53:57]>> Yeah.

[00:53:58]>> Or we could have a great life with kids.

[00:54:01]>> I don't know that I would take on a lifelong commitment that is also very expensive.

[00:54:07]>> Mhm.

[00:54:08]>> If like I don't I didn't know for sure that I wanted it.

[00:54:11]>> Yeah.

[00:54:11]>> It like it's too big of a choice.

[00:54:13]>> Yeah. You guys could always adopt if you wanted later down the line or foster kids or do something where you like want to give back or you want to >> help raise someone or whatever. But like if my belief is like if you don't feel the need and like the want, it feels kind of too big of a choice to make.

[00:54:34]>> Yeah. Yeah. It's like if it's not like a hell yes, it's a no kind of vibe.

[00:54:37]>> I mean Yeah. Like >> Yeah. It it's to me the same as like if you look at a partner and you're like, I could marry you and that would be nice and I could also not marry you and that would also be fine. It's like that's not your person.

[00:54:52]>> Not your person, babes.

[00:54:53]>> Um, yeah. But I also think it's hard to know if you want to be a parent until you're like really in it and things could change it. And it's also scary if you do have any desire for them to be biologically from you or your wife at all. then it is something you have to think about. That's why like I would say >> if you're not ready to fully commit just freeze your eggs. Yes. Because you said you're both 30. I believe that's a great time to do it. Um as we know like egg reserve does go down. It's not like a clear cut off at 35 like we've been taught that it just like plummets. But like 3540 yeah things are going down a little bit. So, it's definitely you'll get more eggs the sooner you do it and a lot of insurance will cover that. I am happy to be transparent on price. I don't have all the numbers right now just because we've been going through this for so long and not keeping clear books on it because >> and we haven't been successful yet. So, when >> Yeah, it's I I did do a video and I'll try to find it and link it in the show notes where I broke down the process thus far back when we had like both done egg retrieval. But there are there are cost-effective ways to do it where you could try IUI. You could do um just one egg retrieval, just like one of either from you or your wife getting the eggs instead of both having to go through it.

[00:56:15]Um insurance covers different things now. So I would say before you go into it, do your research. Know what if you guys have jobs that give insurance, look into that. The idea of going to Spain, I think, is genius.

[00:56:30]I know it's annoying to not be able to pick your donor. A lot of different countries have that. I think because we had the option here, we really wanted to pick the best donor we possibly could because we could.

[00:56:41]>> Now going through all this, I'm like, I just want a baby.

[00:56:44]>> I just want to have a kid. I want to raise a kid with you.

[00:56:47]>> And I mean, there's most countries you Yeah. You have no idea what you're going into. You just go in and they're like, it could be any race. It could be any background. It could be any height. It could be any way. Whatever. You have no idea what's going on.

[00:57:00]>> It's so crazy.

[00:57:01]>> But I don't know enough about it. I would hope that the health screenings are crazy good and that they would cuz we got to compare a lot of like if somebody had really high heart disease in their family and you know that runs in your family. We weren't picking that donor. So I hope that that's in there. I think that's something that I would look into. But my advice would be like freeze your eggs if you're on the fence because I'd hate for you to want this later on and have a harder time than you need to.

[00:57:27]look into the insurance, see what it's going to cover. You already have a house, you already had the wedding. If kids are something you want, there are more cost-effective ways to do this. We have spent an extortionate amount of money on this. Um, it's also taken way longer than it should have and surgeries and all the things, but that could happen to you. You just don't know. It's like, it's just like buying a house. You think you're getting into it for one price and then you have to replace this and that. Like, I think that's a solid comparison that you probably relate to.

[00:57:55]But keep having those conversations with your wife. And I Yeah, I'm more with Taran on this of like if you're not really 100% like I want kids so bad, I don't know that you do it. But that's just I can't make that decision for you.

[00:58:12]It's such a specific person.

[00:58:15]>> It's also not something you need to know at 30. Like it's we live in a completely different time. It's so much better that we didn't didn't have to make these choices at 18, 20, 22 when we were [ __ ] idiots that saw everything through like rosecolored glasses and were like kids are easy and it's like now we all get it. This is why the birth rate's going down. Like it's not for the faint of heart and also it is expensive and things are getting more expensive and not to be doom and gloom but like it is becoming a harder thing for people to do and also people have more autonomy especially women who are deciding like okay I don't just have to live this life that the patriarchy has built for me.

[00:58:50]>> Yeah. Being a mom is not my only potential identity. And so like you are in a golden age of getting to make this choice for yourself. You don't have to know the answer. But if you think the answer could be yes in a couple years, five years, whatever, I agree that freezing your eggs, getting a head start while you can, this is the advice we tell all of our friends if they are on the fence about having kids or not, but they think they might, but they just don't know. They haven't met their person or whatever. It's like, get your eggs out. Just do it. It's it's that's the easy not it's not easy but that is like the easiest thing that you can take control over at this stage.

[00:59:29]>> Yeah.

[00:59:29]>> Then >> you'll have done a hard thing when you you you'll already have done a hard thing when you go to make that decision >> in three five whatever years. So, I think if I were in a couple of two people who didn't could truly go either way, 50/50, I would probably >> go to couples counseling >> and talk out our fears, talk out what we really want, talk out worst case, best case, like with a professional. You obviously don't have to. There's probably a million uh podcast, books, stuff of people working this out in real time, but I think I'd want to do it in like a pretty structured setting because it is such a big decision. Um, and then I would make that choice and >> start trying as soon as you know or don't try as soon as you don't know. But I agree that like doing egg retrieval, even doing egg retrieval in Spain is probably much cheaper. So, I would do that.

[01:00:26]>> Like I wish I did egg retrieval at like 18. I have already said if we have a daughter, I will offer to her for like a graduation present or whatever. If she wants to freeze her eggs to take pressure off herself for the future, I will just pay for that when she's younger because it's way easier to go through for your body, too, when you're younger.

[01:00:46]>> Um, I think this is a hard answer for us because we both without a doubt wanted children.

[01:00:52]>> Totally.

[01:00:53]It wasn't even a thought for us where we don't relate to the idea of being even partially split or having like a inkling of oh do I want kids like we both wanted them so bad. So >> I think talking to people in your life who were on the fence and then have chosen to have kids or have chosen not to have kids can be helpful. Um, also for cost, I want to say an egg retrieval can be up to $20,000, but it can be a lot more affordable with certain insuranceances, certain doctors, certain ways to do it. I'm sure it's probably the most expensive here in LA, and I know that it can be up to $20,000, which I know sounds absolutely insane if you and your wife do it. That's $40,000, and that is unheard of, but there are ways to do it. So, I think, yeah, look into that. seek more cost-effective ways to do that because if you're not wanting kids, investing up to $40,000 sounds crazy. And then if you have to do multiple rounds, that can be like, why did I just waste that money?

[01:01:48]>> But more devastating, I think, would be getting four years down the road >> deciding deciding, you know what, we finally made the choice, we want kids, and then your reserve is too low and you can't even do it.

[01:02:00]>> Yeah. At the very least, go to a doctor and have them do some tests to see your fertility rate, what they're noticing, do an ultrasound, look for any reasons that they would have concerns, >> and I don't know, can you donate your eggs >> once they're frozen?

[01:02:14]>> I believe so.

[01:02:16]>> Like >> that's a interesting, you know, then that's a money maker. If if you guys not end up caring later in life, then that could just be something >> so many families, >> helps families, is a stream of income for you.

[01:02:28]>> Yeah.

[01:02:29]>> You know, so I don't know. I there's no downside other than the upfront spend, but the Spain thing is very very useful in this and also >> so many employers pay for it now. So >> yeah, definitely look into it and talk to people who have had this dilemma before.

[01:02:44]>> You okay over there, lovey?

[01:02:45]>> Yep.

[01:02:46]>> All right, let's get out of here.

[01:02:48]>> Love you guys.

[01:02:49]>> Love you pee peeps. We will see you next week. Thanks for hanging on for this epi. Sorry that we were late. Serate.