Fa’afafine: A Different Understanding of Gender

Added: 2026-05-05

[00:00:00]Hey there, this is Ivy Leon, the trans girl next door.

[00:00:09]Today I want to take you to Samoa. Today I want to talk about Fafini and Fafatama. In Samoa and across parts of the Polynesia, there have long existed social categories that don't fit neatly into the male or female framework many western societies take for granted. I'm talking about the fafaini and the fafatama. These are simoan terms like many identities from outside the west.

[00:00:33]They don't translate perfectly into our languages like English or Spanish because sometimes these concepts they start from a completely different base from what we understand about gender.

[00:00:44]Okay. So, fafaini generally refers to people assigned male at birth who embodied feminine roles and expressions.

[00:00:52]Fafatama generally refers to people assigned female at birth who embodied masculine roles and identities. Now if you immediately try to translate these terms into trans women and trans men, you might missed one important point.

[00:01:06]Many people assume gender is always about the same core idea like something very personal like who I am inside. But that is not the only way societies had approach to personhood. Some cultures place more emphasis on who are you to others? How do you contribute? What role do you play in your family? I mean, that doesn't erase inner identity, but it changes what gets centered. And this is what makes simoa especially interesting because in many western conversations, gender, it's like it becomes an individual declaration, like my truth, my label, like my self-expression. But in simoa, gender is more related to what do you do in the structure mostly of the family or maybe the communal life. What defines you like a fafini for example?

[00:01:54]It's like you helping your siblings, you helping care for the elder, you contributing to ceremonies. You know what I mean? To to to assume that role that feminine siman role because fafaini translating it, it means in the way of a woman and fafama it means in a way of a man. It's kind of like assuming that cultural role. So that's why the framework is not who I am but how do I belong and that's a radically different starting point. This is very interesting like fafini are often like recognizing early life sometimes through behavior sometimes through preferences or just simply because people around them can see that child you know expressing themsel like the opposite gender. And even though there is no 100% acceptance, families do not panic. In the majority of the cases, it's like, okay, that's who they are and they try to embrace them and to protect them because they know life is not always easy for a Fafini or a Fafatama because they do face discrimination, but it seems to be not that deep. Fafini have always been known for being very involved into the family life and the family structure and the community life. And that really gets my attention because when I did the video of the marshes, you know, they were as well related to the family structure and the family care and stuff like that. And kind of like blows my mind how in the west sometimes families like stop talking with their children because they're trans. Even if you're an adult, maybe your parents just stop talking to you because they don't accept that you're trans. And that blows my mind how different families can react you know within this context of the different cultures. So it's like wow fafini within families are often understood as something very valuable and someone needed and this is something very interesting that I think it has to do with their language but the question what are you like it doesn't exist. The question is how do you show up and that it's like wow it's it's like a strong difference because the the question how do you show up kind of take me to do something more like like what are your pronouns kind of question but here again like I always say no kilter is like a utopia modern Samoa has also been shaped by Christianity globalization of course tourism social media and like an imported moral framework work. So nowadays can be tension between religion and traditional recognition and family expectations of course and with all of those contexts simultaneously going on there. Some of them can embrace it and some of them not. That contradiction is not something unusual. It's modern life.

[00:04:40]So what does all of this tell us? Gender is not a global universal truth.

[00:04:46]Different societies build meaning differently. Some center individual identity. Some others center family role. Some center religion and spirituality. And some others center conformity. And depending on what that society values, gender can look very different. I think when society values usefulness over conformity, difference can find a place. When society values conformity over humanity, like difference becomes a threat. And that applies far beyond Samoa. So maybe the question isn't how many genders are there. That will depend on the culture and the structure of the society. Maybe we should think what does society think a person is for. Because I think the way we sense gender has a lot to do with the way society made us think we should be.

[00:05:40]Is that making sense? Because some cultures begin with the with the self, others begin with a relationship with others. Some of them ask who I am, others who are we. And depending on where you begin, everything change. And depending on what the society expects from you, that also change in a society where you need to have a family to reproduce yourself and bring more people to the world to be useful for the system. Well, that says a lot about the framework of that society and that's the western society. So, if you think that way, maybe you can understand why they look at us as a threat because we are not going to have children. Well, most of us, we are not going to have children. So, the way the society understands gender won't ever have us into consideration because we are not we are not useful for this system. So yeah, I think depending on where you begin, everything else changes, even gender.

[00:06:40]And like I already said, whoever has the power can standardize norms, but norms are not the truth. And maybe what many people call natural is often just what became dominant. If you made it this far in the video, thank you so much. I'm going to ask you to leave a like, to leave a comment, and to subscribe. You can follow me as well on my social media. It's completely free, and it really helps me grow. If you want to support my channel, you can join the memberships. And if you want to give me a little extra support, you can donate as much as you want through PayPal me.

[00:07:11]Thank you all so much for being here.

[00:07:12]This was Ivy Leon and I'll see you next video.

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