What it's like to have OCD...

Hinzugefügt: 2026-05-14

[00:00:00]I saw a doctor explain OCD and and they showed brain scans and stuff. Basically, I'm I'm constantly stressed. The OCD brain scan was like lit up constantly at rest. Hey girl, are you obsessivecompulsive disorder? Because you light my brain up at rest and I am scared and I am anxious. Why constantly stressed? I don't know. Ask the disorder. You want to see the brain scan? I'll show you. I got it on an Instagram reel. I sent it to Finina to explain who I am.

[00:00:30]>> Okay, so now we're to the active scan.

[00:00:33]Healthy back part of your brain is active. Everything else sort of quiet.

[00:00:38]People who have obsessive compulsive disorder, and this has been published about 200 times in the medical literature, their frontal loves work too hard.

[00:00:49]>> Always on that grind, baby. Grinding hustle culture right here. Oh. Wo, you rest your brain. I'm always grinding thinking about the next horrible thing that could maybe happen. Yeah, get. It's kind of scary. Uh, but it makes a lot of sense. And then I was I saw that information and I was like, well, okay, I'm using my brain more. Surely my memory is better or something like there's got to be some benefit. No, actually, if anything, OCD is more likely to make your memory worse. But there there also was a study that I saw that said that it makes it better. Who knows? The only the only thing I could find as like a definitive is that it makes you more creative. Yay.

[00:01:40]I mean, I love that. That's great for me, but that's like the the unemployed benefit, you know? AI could do that now.

[00:01:47]I don't know if you could be talentless and have OCD because the whole thing is it like makes you creative because of the way your brain works or whatever cuz you think oh another of the positives attention to detail. Yeah, sure thing buddy.

[00:02:03]Yeah, but like that's the whole problem.

[00:02:05]I'm googling it right now. This is definitely an OCD thing to do by the way. Hidden strength OCD as a superpower.

[00:02:13]flight.

[00:02:16]No exceptional organizational skills.

[00:02:19]What that translates to me is just like I need to have a plan. I need to know what's going on. I need to have organization and then I just get stressed about it.

[00:02:32]I'm not good at it. I just need to have it. Creativity. Some individuals with OCD often develop creative ways of coping with the anxiety caused by intrusive thoughts and obsessions.

[00:02:42]That's such code may find solace in artistic pursuits such as painting, drawing, writing, music, or other forms of creative expression. Engaging in creative activities can serve as an outlet for their emotions and allow them to channel their thoughts into something productive and meaningful. Good.

[00:02:58]Attention to detail often focus people with OCD often focus on intricate aspects of tasks, projects or situations to a greater extent than their peers.

[00:03:07]This trait allows people to identify nuances others might overlook, contributing to thoroughess, accuracy, and precision in their work. Put that [ __ ] on my Tinder profile. Determination and resilience. Cope. And then the final one, empathy, even more cope. There are no benefits besides the creative one.

[00:03:27]People see can develop inventive solutions and amazing art when aligning their strengths with the right task.

[00:03:31]Most people can spend hours coming up with creative ideas because their brains operate differently. Therefore, individuals can often unique insights into the world of art and creativity.

[00:03:40]Yay. The unemployed approach.

[00:03:44]I'm worried about how long I'm going to live because we have modern medicine and such, but we've got lots of chemicals in the food. Less than American chemicals cuz we actually we actually ban stuff.

[00:03:58]But like there's all preservatives and chemicals and [ __ ] that could take like decades off my life. I could be nearing the end because I've been having that since birth. My family were not cook from scratch family. Well, my mom wasn't. We were a preservatives family.

[00:04:14]You're eating American chemical slop right now. Is it good? Supposed to be tastier than our food. So, I kind of I don't know. It's fine. You eat organic and you feel like you're going to die.

[00:04:24]Delusion it is. Then I will just have to go to delusion instead. Delusion. That shall be my cure. No food can hurt me.

[00:04:32]Not even the chemicals. According to Americans, incredibly vague. That's like such a generalization. One American I saw in a YouTube video, British food in comparison is bland, which I I that's probably probably true. But I don't think it's that the food is bland so much. I think maybe just the the pallets are different. I think maybe the average American is used to a higher grade of sodium. Like the the video that I watched was like an American trying British McDonald's and they were like, "This is bland. This is really bland."

[00:05:09]And that that's like the saltiest thing we have. And I think I don't think it's a case of we don't have salt cuz we clearly do. You can see it. I think it's a different palette. I think you you guys do something to your food that shouldn't be allowed. I've had an amount of ice cream. Look at that. This is This is not my dinner. This is a preparation.

[00:05:28]Preparing myself for dinner. I can't just dive right in. It would cause shock. Get the [ __ ] out of here. Yeah.

[00:05:35]If I just ate my dinner, my body would just go into shock cuz it wasn't ready.

[00:05:38]But now I've prepared it perfectly with a hit of ice cream. This is what happens when you don't do drugs or drink alcohol. You just become me. You just become slightly insane. I haven't stopped. They put something addicting in this. It's kind of scary. I'm pretty sure Finster uh bought that for me because they wanted me to try the woke ice cream. They don't eat chocolate ice cream. They eat something worse, I guess. I don't know who doesn't eat chocolate ice cream. My body is low on on slop, chat. Please, do you have any slop for me? I just spilled this down my [ __ ] self. Do you have any slop for me, chat? Uh I just have to I push my [ __ ] glasses up like a nerd. I don't need them. Sweat is massive. Yeah, it's cool.

[00:06:28][ __ ] I got carried away. I have a bra and it's fine. It was not to your ass.

[00:06:33]You got to get You got to wake up real early in the morning to catch me slipping. I I'm very hyper aware of everything. Of my body, of my bones, of my feelings, of my organs, of the blood inside of me, the camera, the microphone, everything. I'm aware of all of it. I'm aware all the time. dolphins micro sleep kind of. They sleep for like they one side of their brain sleeps for like 15 minutes at a time or something and then they swap for a couple hours.

[00:07:03]They have weird uh they have weird sleep because otherwise they drown cuz they're [ __ ] idiot mammals who decided to live in the ocean when they can't [ __ ] breathe underwater. I hate that fact. They're so stupid. You had to invent [ __ ] microb brain sleeping so that they didn't just die. Why do you know so much about dolphins? Because after the [ __ ] dolphin conversation that we had on stream, I was like I think Finn asked how they sleep and I was like I don't I think they sort of like half sleep. And then I Googled it.

[00:07:41]I was right. They half sleep. [ __ ] stupid. Worth it for the chance of LSD and hand jobs? Don't say you wouldn't. I might I'd consider it if NASA came up to me and was like, "You can have LSD and hand drops. All you have to do is live under water." No. It's so stupid. What kind of idiot mammal does that? Like, what? Aren't they the smartest mammals, too? Uh, no. Are we mammals? I I don't think so.

[00:08:06]Are we still talking about the dolphin that got whacked off? Like, it's a normal thing that you can just brush off. Yes, we're still talking about it because it's a huge point in history.

[00:08:17]Okay. It will never be repeated. It was a one-time event that we are lucky enough to have documented online so we can all reference it. Okay. Yeah, we are mammals. Yeah. Yeah. So, we are the smartest mammal. Duh. You think weirder things have happened? No way. She was joking that doll. Well, she wasn't. She let the dolphin rub up against her or something. Whatever. Same sort of thing.

[00:08:40]Kind of idiot [ __ ] mammal lives under water. So stupid. Like I'd get it if they could breathe, but they can't. And like I'd understand if it was like whales like they're fine cuz they can hold their breath like a [ __ ] viltroite in space. But dolphin can't hold their breath. They have to breathe a lot. 15 minutes. Stupid. How long can a whale hold its breath? How long whale hold breath? This is how I learn all my information. Uh they can hold their breath from 45 minutes to two over two hours. The longest dive recorded is over 3.5 hours.

[00:09:19][ __ ] dolphins. What can they do? 15 minutes of breath holding like an idiot.

[00:09:23]I'm anti- dolphin. I think I think I'm an idiot. Wait, no. I know that. I know I'm an idiot, but I'm I think I'm anti- dolphin. Wait. Whales sleep like this.

[00:09:34]And I don't know why. When sperm whales, haha, need a nap, they take a deep breath, dive down about 45 ft, and arrange themselves into perfectly level vertical patterns. They sleep still for up to two hours at a time between breaths in pods of five or six for protection. Protection from what?

[00:09:51]They're [ __ ] whales, aren't they?

[00:09:52]Like the tanks of the ocean. What the [ __ ] do they need protection from? I guess gang violence. I don't know.

[00:09:59]Orcas, why am I anti-dolphin? cuz they can't [ __ ] breathe under water yet they choose to live there. It's [ __ ] stupid. They're more active. Yeah, it's just okay. you just have to run around all day and remembering to come up for air to like Okay, so I think the reason I don't like it is because I find micromanaging like stressful games where you have to manage your like thirst and hell like thirst and hunger and stuff like that that isn't like Minecraft or whatever like don't starve like that kind of thing. That stresses me the hell out. I hate that. It's too many things I have to worry about and I will I will be anxious and stressed until I have like an obscene amount of resources. Okay, dolphin. If I was a dolphin, I would be constantly stressed because I would be like, "Oh, [ __ ] I have to breathe soon.

[00:10:49][ __ ] [ __ ] I have to breathe soon. I would just be constantly thinking about it. I wouldn't be able to do it. I'd be like, "Oh, do you want to dive down here and get high on this puffer fish?" No, because I can only hold my breath for 15 minutes. And and they can also choose to stop breathing, which is kind of cool.

[00:11:05]And in a weird way, orca pods, six to 30 whales in a pod, breathe in unison. They form a tight circle, then surface for air and resubmerged as one while sleeping. That's from 10 years ago. So, it's probably not true. If I see a fact that's like 10 years ago, I honestly I just don't believe it cuz things things change so much. OCT dolphin be like, "Hey, hey, how is good? I think they're at work." I don't know. It's annoying how much people ask about a different streamer. It's because I'm the worst of the streamers on my platform. I'm the least interesting. I suck. That would be more interest. No, shut up. I think um I don't know. It's because I I have put very lovely people on my platform who are very funny and attractive and cool.

[00:11:56]mostly funny and I play the role of like whatever that person said I react whatever insane thing PB or Finn would say I would react as you know like that is insane and I I played the straight woman in in comedy not in gend not in sexuality so people like Pivy and Finn would be doing very outlandish nonsense and I would be more reserved and regular and I get to the nonsense when I when I'm alone cuz no one else is there to do the nonsense. I I keep it like you know they're funny but they need to be directed in the right way.

[00:12:36]>> You're the funniest and coolest stream actually.

[00:12:39]>> Thank you. Oh, I don't know. I don't know.

[00:12:42]>> I coolest streamer ever.

[00:12:44]>> You guys are being nice. It's okay. I'm fine. Don't worry about it. I don't know. I just think like I maybe because they're new. there's novelty and people are like these people are so cool and they ask about them and stuff and you know there there's definitely been a couple times where I've had in my head this like like people just want like PB to be here instead or something. But we got through that now. I don't feel like that anymore. That was ages ago as well.

[00:13:13]That wasn't now >> 4 months.

[00:13:16]I'm the only actual streamer. Thank you.

[00:13:18]Shipped her off to Canada.

[00:13:21]>> You're so interesting that I am chucking money at you just to say hi.

[00:13:24]>> Shipping paper off to That's so funny. I did not do that. Obviously. Oh, you remember when you first started streaming in your old apartment where you said you feel like a side character?

[00:13:32]Exactly. Yeah, that did happen. I did feel like a side character for a little bit cuz I, you know, I had to do a lot of setup in the streams rather than being goofy. You can ask a question.

[00:13:44]Yes, you can. You can try. The mods might get you, but you might be quicker.

[00:13:49]Who knows? I'm more of a girl or a woman? I don't know what to do about that. What does that really mean? Could you expand on the question? Girl to me means child. I'm a woman. Tomboy. That just means like a girl that has like less feminine interests. I don't. Not really. Maybe you could argue that. I come across like that on stream definitely. But in real life, I'm just a bit I'm just a bit girly. You know, they got yeated. No, they got allowed back. I don't know about the the girl woman part. That that threw me because girl is like child. Woman is adult woman. Adult human female. That's me. You don't have to be a child to be a girl or a boy.

[00:14:31]Okay, I guess. But I feel like that is like the technical definition, is it not? Yeah. If this whole like girl tomboy ass thingy thingy thingy, right, it's just because I don't wear like dresses, that's ridiculous. I like I love like street wear, oversized clothes, you know? I like weird stuff. I don't I I had my phase of like only wearing dresses and skirts. Look, how is this not like This is fine. You not I'm not wearing a skirt right now. Still [ __ ] feminine. Look. Wiggly ass jiggly ass legs. You can you can wear anything. You can once you get confident in yourself and you you like your body, etc., you can wear anything. Which is what happened to me. I like my I like my shape. So I I can wear whatever I want.

[00:15:22]And I was like, you know what? Jeans are pretty cool. I like them. I do have jiggly thighs. Yes. Yes. In your head, tomboy are just women who wear cowboy hats. Oh, I want to live in your world.

[00:15:32]I want to live in your world. Please. I did not used to wrestle. No, that is entirely in your brain. Was there oil involved? Who was the other lady?