When Sex Means Nothing, This Happens...

[00:00:00]Hello my dears. I think that we've been living through one of the most fascinating cultural experiments in modern history. A shift that fundamentally changed how people view and treat sex. In the 1960s and '7s, a movement often referred to as the sexual revolution promised us that greater sexual freedom would make people happier, more fulfilled, and less constrained. And I definitely think enough time has passed now for us to see whether or not these claims actually held up because these ideas have been shaping society for decades at this point. And for our generation, these views aren't even rebellious. I think a lot of people would say that they're pretty much the norm. We are the product of ideas that were created long before our time. Yet, we've grown up surrounded by their impact. Now, when people often talk about the consequences of the sexual revolution, the conversation tends to be centered around dating, relationships, and marriage. and it kind of just stops there. But I honestly think that the impact of the sexual revolution goes far beyond just dating.

[00:00:56]And I think it's affected so many aspects of modern life that even its pioneers couldn't have anticipated.

[00:01:01]Because changing how people view sex doesn't just influence who they sleep with. It also affects things like technology, entertainment, government policy, and also just how people generally view each other. And now that so much time has passed, we can definitely now look around us and finally answer that question of what actually happens to a society when sex starts to lose its meaning. For most of human history, sex was generally understood as being connected to things like commitment, family formation, and long-term responsibility. But the sexual revolution definitely changed many of those assumptions. In the 1960s and 1970s, a growing number of activists, academics, and cultural figures argued that sex should be viewed as a form of personal freedom, separated from marriage commitment and family creation.

[00:01:49]The idea was that doing so would lead to less restrictions and much more freedom and fulfillment than the more stricter attitudes at the time. Helen Gurly Brown and Hugh Hefner helped to popularize these ideas through their magazines like Cosmopolitan and Playboy. And do pay attention to Hefner and Playboy because they were actually a lot more instrumental in some of the changes we'll be discussing today than I think a lot of people actually realize or are aware of. With the backing of these really popular magazines, the ideas that were pushed during the sexual revolution moved from the fringes and straight into the mainstream. And we can see evidence of this today because many of the ideas that were pushed during the sexual revolution are so commonplace now that many people don't even think to question them. Now, as sex stopped being viewed as something that was centered around marriage or family formation, it started to be viewed as something that could be recreational. The arrival of reliable contraception, particularly the contraceptive pill, definitely helped with this shift. Now, while the pill was primarily offered to married women, there was a lot of campaigning during the 1960s and '7s to make it more available to unmarried women as well.

[00:02:57]Now, Hefner was a very strong advocate for this and he pushed for things like this as well as legalized abortion through his magazine Playboy as well as his public advocacy. So, after the contraceptive pill and legalized abortion came into play and sex started to be viewed as recreational, we then started to see the rise in things like pornography. Now, the reason why this happened shortly after is because as our attitudes about sex began to change, our attitudes and views on obscenity laws also began to change. And because of this, it made it increasingly more difficult to prohibit pornography.

[00:03:33]Because rather than this type of content being viewed strictly through the lens of obscenity, it was now starting to be viewed as a form of art or expression, which made it a lot easier to protect under free speech laws. Now, Playboy was definitely the start of making this kind of imagery mainstream. It played an important role by taking what had once largely existed on the fringes of society and turning it into something that could be packaged, marketed, and sold to ordinary consumers. And then once sexual content became more mainstream, technology definitely accelerated this because first it was magazines, then it was films, and then it became VHS, DVDs, and now the internet. With each new technological advancement, porn became cheaper, easier to access, and just generally a lot more available than ever before. However, this also led to a lot more people being able to access this content than ever before, which then resulted in people being able to access this content even earlier than generations before. I remember watching Stacy Douly's documentary on Lily Phillips and there's a part within the documentary where she's talking to Lily Phillips and her friend Arabella and she's asking them how old they were when they first came across this kind of explicit content.

[00:04:41]Both Lily and Arabella tell Stacy that they first encountered this kind of stuff when they were young children. And Stacy is quite clearly shocked and horrified by this.

[00:04:51]>> How old were you, Arabella, when you first watched porn?

[00:04:54]>> I think about 12.

[00:04:56]>> Stop. Yeah, >> that's young.

[00:04:59]>> It's crazy that you're surprised at that cuz I feel like sitting here like >> How old How old were you?

[00:05:05]>> I think I think I was like 12, 13. I think like year seven at school or something.

[00:05:11]>> Yeah, >> but we didn't go looking for it. We had boy show.

[00:05:14]>> We had I had Yeah, I had a friend who showed it to me.

[00:05:17]>> Now, personally, when I watched this part of the documentary, all I could really think was, "Yeah, same." And just like them, I was exposed to it through someone else showing it to me. And to be honest, I think for many people within our generation, this is kind of normal.

[00:05:30]Unfortunately, there are a lot of young people who discovered content when they were really young children and it was because someone else showed it to them.

[00:05:37]Often it is another child to be honest because the reality of it is children are accessing this content very easily online and that has been the case for quite some time now. For older generations, accessing this kind of content actually required effort. you had to actively seek it out, know where to find it, show your ID and go and purchase it in a shop. Compared to nowadays where this kind of content is pretty much in your pocket just waiting for you. And in many cases, it does unfortunately act as a form of digital sex education. It has influenced how an entire generation of young people view sex and it has also desensitized them from the more extreme acts. Because of children increasingly being able to access this kind of material, we've started to see government officials argue that this is one of the reasons new measurements are needed to limit children's access to parts of the internet. We've seen things like the online safety act here in the UK as well as in Australia and in the US. Some states have now started applying age verification systems for certain websites or social media platforms. Now, while of course these measures are often put forward as being about children, they of course don't only affect children. They affect pretty much anyone who wants to use the internet. These measures often require you to submit sensitive information to third-party sites. So, they require you to submit things like your driving license, your passport, etc. Which has of course led to a lot of concerns about privacy, data protection, as well as just general government overreach. Now, this is interesting, right? Considering the promises of the sexual revolution were that we would receive more freedoms, yet I can't help but notice that everything I've just discussed and listed sound very much like more restrictions. Now, the commercialization of sex definitely didn't just stop with pornography. Once sex became something that could be packaged, marketed, and sold, it became a lot easier to just treat it as a commodity. And over time, we've definitely seen an escalation in how this looks and how this plays out.

[00:07:35]Because Playboy sold the seductive imagery, but then porn sold the actual act as a form of content. But then Only Fans then sold you digital access to the creators of said content. You could chat with them as well as submit requests.

[00:07:48]But over time, all of this stuff starts losing its novelty. And as something loses its novelty, people often feel the need to escalate in order to still be competitive and stand out. And that is, in my opinion, how we get to people like Bonnie Blue and Lily Phillips. Because since the rise of Only Fans, it's become very oversaturated, which means that it's become a lot more difficult for people to stand out and compete and make a lot of money on the platform. So, we see people like Bonnie Blue and Lily Phillips inventing new ways to stand out and be highly competitive. Because, I mean, after all, many of us only know their names because of the insane stunts and the insane headlines they keep generating because of their insane stunts. But I do honestly view Bonnie Blue and Lily Phillips as just another stage in this escalation because I mean why settle for just digitally accessing them through the chat service on Only Fans when you can get in the queue and actually physically access them. Now what's been interesting to watch is hearing how other women who are also in this industry how they've reacted to creators like Bonnie Blue and Lily Phillips. I've seen other creators within the same line of work publicly speaking out against Lily and Bonnie and stating how their actions have had an effect on the industry as a whole.

[00:09:00]Because outside of ethical concerns, there are some creators who dislike what Bonnie Blue and Lily Phillips do because they think it encourages things like copycats as well as people feeling pressured to also do what they're doing in order to remain competitive. I've seen some creators say how they've also started having requests to do the same kind of stunts. And I guess this also does kind of clash with one of the other promises that we were given from the sexual revolution, which was that having more sexual freedom would lead to more personal choice. And I guess you could say that Lily and Bonnie are an example of that. And I would agree with you.

[00:09:33]They are definitely exercising their free will and their choice to engage in this kind of stuff. But what about the ripple effect that it has on other people who feel pressured to make a choice that they don't want to make in order to continue making a living on this platform or in this industry?

[00:09:48]Because if the marketplace begins to reward extreme acts and you then feel pressured to conform and start doing these extreme acts in order to continue making a living for yourself, especially if you're in an industry where entering this line of work can kind of compromise your ability to get a different job. You then may feel pressured to stay in it.

[00:10:06]And if you're staying in it, then you got to be competitive. And so you might feel a lot of pressure to start doing some of these stunts yourself. But if all of this freedom was supposed to reward us with more choice, can someone really be making a choice if it's coming from a place of pressure? And it doesn't really just stop with sex workers. Now that sex is no longer viewed as something that has any real inherent meaning or has any real significance, it has led to things like hookup culture and a lot of people feeling pressured to sleep with people a lot earlier than they would like to in order to be competitive in the dating world. So what this suggests to me is that the pressure that the sexual revolution tried to erase never fully disappeared. It just now comes from a different direction.

[00:10:46]Rather than people feeling pressure to be sexually restrictive, many people now feel pressure to be sexually active. And again, is that really personal freedom?

[00:10:55]And is that personal choice if you're doing something from a place of pressure? Now, one of the other major effects we've seen of exposing an entire generation to this explicit content is how it's also started to affect mainstream entertainment. A lot of people have noticed how modern western TV shows and films just seem to have a lot of nudity and sex scenes in more recent times. And it's definitely not something that they are subtle about by any means. And it is something that a lot of young people have actually grown very very tired of. This has become so excessive now at this point that we've even seen actresses speaking out about how they've had to actively request less sex scenes or less nude scenes. A good example of this is Euphoria. Both Sydney Sweeney and Alexa Demi have publicly spoken out about having to request that their characters receive less sex scenes and nude scenes. I think that Alexa Demi is a good example of the kind of pressure that is now put on women because of this more pornified age that we're living in. as she discusses how she was worried that if she spoke out about her discomfort that it might cost her her role. She said in an interview, "I thought that if I said no to doing them, then I wouldn't have the part. Not because anyone said that to me, but because I was so young and I didn't know. I'm not saying I don't love sex. I think that it can be portrayed beautifully and I know the show is trying to portray the life of teenage girls. But once I did it, I realized, okay, I don't love how this feels." It's interesting to me because it's almost as if she's worried that she's going to be criticized for having this take or as if people are going to view her as not being sex positive or something. So, she feels the need to just kind of let you know she does actually think sex can be beautiful and you know she loves it but she just doesn't want to do it on camera. I just don't think she even she should even feel the need to say that in order to just say listen I don't want to do sex scenes. Now, Sydney Sweeney has also spoken about how she had to request less top scenes in season two of Euphoria as she told an interviewer, "There are moments where my character Cassie was supposed to be shirtless, and I would tell Sam, I don't really think this is necessary here." And he was like, "Okay, we don't need it." Now, it is reassuring to me that both of these actresses were able to clearly state their boundaries and their boundaries were respected. But I can't help but think about the other actors and actresses who maybe don't have the same kind of treatment. And it also does raise the question of why are there so many sex scenes and so many nude scenes to the point where actors or actresses are even having to request cutbacks in the first place? Could it be that as pornography started to become a lot more mainstream, writers, producers, directors started viewing it as a just another default storytelling tool. Even though very often it adds very little to the story. Like sometimes you'll be watching something, you're just like, "Okay, why am I seeing boobs?" Because if it is starting to become just another storytelling tool, then it will definitely explain why there's so much of it in Western media. And as I said, this is something that young audiences are growing very, very tired of. There is no shortage of people going online to express their frustrations with this being done so much. I'm really not so sure what these TV and movie producers think their audience wants to see anymore. But I can promise you that when I sit down on the couch next to my father to watch our favorite show, I do not want to see someone's massive [ __ ] I just want to watch a movie without having to see boobs or micro penis or a penis or a penis in the boobs. Like I'm [clears throat] tired. I'm tired of seeing the nudity. Why can't you just show us the bed moving up and down? Why can't you just imply it like and we'll guess we're not dumb. We went to school so we'll know what's happening. But what I have found really interesting is that this is one of the cited reasons for why a lot of Western audiences are now gravitating towards Kdramas. A lot of people, especially those who are fans of the romance genre, are essentially retreating at this point to Kdramas. The reason why I find the Western appeal towards Kdramas so interesting is that it kind of pokes a massive hole in the assumption that all people want to see and all people want to view is sex. The idea that sex sells is definitely being challenged here because if sex is all that people want and if sex sells so well, then why are people retreating to other forms of media that do a lot less of it? Because for many young western viewers, particularly women who seem to be gravitating towards these shows, they often state the reason why they find them so appealing is because they place a greater emphasis on emotional connection, courtship, and romance, which I think is very, very revealing.

[00:15:34]For such a long time now, we've been told to simply separate sex from all of these things. Separate it from commitment, separate it from romance, separate it from attachment. And yet, we find Western audiences gravitating towards stories and plots from other countries that place great emphasis on the very things that we've been told we don't want or need. Because if people are willing to go elsewhere and watch foreign shows, even if it means having to read subtitles the entire time to even be able to understand what the hell is going on there, it definitely does poke a hole in the idea that the only reason we cared about these things like attachment, romance, emotions, and all of this stuff. The only reason why we cared about that is because of social conditioning and because of, you know, society told us to care about it. It does poke a hole in that because we've been told the complete opposite. Yet people still gravitate towards those things and people still clearly have a desire for those things enough to go through that much effort to get it elsewhere. Now of course the most obvious place that these changes have affected us is definitely when it comes to relationships and dating. One of the central ideas of the sexual revolution was the idea that sex and commitment could be completely separated. And to some extent it can be. But when an entire culture starts treating sex and commitment as something that are completely unrelated, that definitely has a massive impact on how relationships start to look and form.

[00:17:05]Over the last few decades, we've seen the rise in things like casual sex, situationships, and just a general aversion to commitment. Many people now describe modern dating as unfulfilling, exhausting, and just a general headache.

[00:17:18]At the same time, we've seen a lot of growing concerns around things like loneliness and a lot of young people not being able to find the companionship that they really desire. And in a very interesting and ironic twist, despite people having more sexual freedom and premarital sex being far less taboo than it ever was before, we've actually seen young people having even less sex than the generations before them. And some people also believe that separating sex from commitment has also made dating very, very transactional. Because I guess if sex is no longer seen as something that's inherently intimate or meaningful, if it's no longer viewed as something that builds an attachment or can strengthen an attachment, then the question is what does? Because it does generally feel like something was taken away but not really replaced with anything else. And I guess that could be one of the reasons why a lot of young people feel very unanchored in modern dating because all of the things that have traditionally encouraged things like intimacy, connection, and commitment, we've been told no longer do that. And yet we haven't been told what should do that instead.

[00:18:20]Now the ideas that were pushed during the sexual revolution were largely centered around individual freedom and individual choice. But the problem is once ideas become mainstream they can no longer be just about the individual because now they affect the whole of society including the people who don't want those changes or don't agree to those ideas. Because once these ideas became mainstream, they then started to affect relationships and that then affected families which then affected communities which then ultimately affect society. Now, if I'm being fair to the sexual revolution, I don't think that it was all bad. I definitely think there were some good things that came from it.

[00:18:54]Where I have reservations is around the views and attitudes towards sex that they introduced into western societies because I do think that the sexual revolution is one example of what happens when you take fringe ideas and you make them mainstream. There will definitely always be unintended consequences when you do something like that. I can't help but notice that throughout this video we've definitely identified a pattern which was that a change was made, a problem was solved, but then a new problem was created. And I'm sure that many of the people who are behind this movement genuinely believe that they were making society a better place. But again, this is just another example of what can happen when people don't think about unintended consequences. Because having good intentions is not enough to guarantee good outcomes. And all of this is why I think the sexual revolution is one of the most fascinating cultural experiments that have happened in modern history. because it's now old enough for us to really take a look and see whether or not many of the promises they made actually came into fruition and also whether or not the changes that they pushed actually made society better or not. But one thing I do think it does reveal for sure is the dangers of dismantling something without replacing it with something else. I also think it reveals how some of the things that we were told were purely social conditioning are actually much deeper than that. We actively see people seeking out the very things that they were told aren't important or that they don't need, but they haven't been taught to look for that. The fact that they still desire those things to me just is of one example of how perhaps some of the things that we desire are much deeper than just social conditioning.

[00:20:28]But those are just my thoughts. I would love to know what yours are, though. Do you think that there are other areas in society that have been affected by the sexual revolution that I didn't touch on in this video? And do you think that we might successfully find good replacements or good alternatives for some of the things that we lost during the sexual revolution? I would love to know what your general thought is on this topic down below in the comments.

[00:20:49]So do let me know. If you found this video interesting, then why not like and subscribe. Thank you so very much for giving your time today. I will see you in my next video.