Why Successful Women Protect Their Time, Energy & Peace

Added: 2026-06-11

[00:00:00]Guys, get straight. Your colleagues are not your friends. Okay? Who you work with doesn't >> in your industry.

[00:00:05]>> In your industry. And think of someone you look up to in your career circle.

[00:00:09]Do you know where they go grocery shopping? And do you need to know? No, right? But your your relevance with them is are they good at their job? Do they deliver? Are they reliable? All of that stuff. And it just needs to be that much. So, I think the boundaries just come in where as long as don't feel the need to offer.

[00:00:26]>> Yeah.

[00:00:26]>> Let me take you out. You don't need to always do that, right? You just can meet at that point of work and the commonality be like, thank you.

[00:00:33]>> And I feel like we're conditioned. Like Rina, when we've spoken, you'll just like you'll just give me an encouragement to say that I'm really sorry, I'm just life is really full at the moment. Whereas I would give like 7,000 reasons why my life is really full and I would really love to, but like and Rina is just like, thank you so much. Like, that's really kind of >> I would suggest any try this. Have like a saved draft of a message. No, genuinely. And then just copy and send it. Cuz then you have it like, thank you so much for like just at capacity right now. Or if you have an assistant, direct them that way. And I learned this from another mentor that I look up to. She runs a restaurant chain around the UK.

[00:01:09]And we sat on a meeting once and at the end of the meeting she said to me, "Vee, did you ever notice my phone ring?" I said, "No." She was like, "Because to reach before you reach me, there are three other tiers >> Yeah.

[00:01:18]>> of people you have to go through."

[00:01:20]>> Yeah.

[00:01:20]>> And I was like, "Wow, I want to be that person one day, right?" And it really taught me a lot. So, I think don't you are as loving and caring and all of this comes from the environment you were raised in.

[00:01:31]But I would say put those systems in place. You're going to have so much more free space in your mind.

[00:01:35]>> But I think it also means getting clear on what your priorities are. Cuz I think we've spoken before, if we let the world, even people that were in intentions' ideas, dictate our schedule, we'll never really get to where we want to. So, I think from a work perspective now and when it comes to dreams, with my network, with expanding my network, with nurturing my network. Not even in a like necessarily completely transactional way, but I'm very clear on what are my priorities. So, random coffees to find out why you started something is just like I would really love to.

[00:02:09]>> Yeah.

[00:02:10]>> But random coffees that's that's also priority of mine at the moment. I want to be around people who are building, who are scaling, who we can partner together. So, I do yeah, when it comes to networking and growing our dreams, it's also about getting really clear cuz networking is not friendship. So, obviously with your friendships you're not transactional. You don't meet up with your friends for what they can give to you, but I think women sometimes that's why we find the networking bit hard is we don't separate >> Too much emotional connections.

[00:02:39]Make it too complex. Like every woman has a network and I'll tell you like one example. If you ask a woman, can you recommend someone for nails? Can you recommend someone who can come and do they will tell you three people this area in North London, South London.

[00:02:52]>> And that's what women are really good at, sharing information.

[00:02:54]>> Exactly. Yeah.

[00:02:55]>> we have networks for things we care about or invested in. If you're really interested in finance and business, you will have networks of people, be it men, women, who are good at that field. If you're into beauty and, you know, >> I think it's seeing things as a funnel.

[00:03:09]You're the vessel and then as a funnel.

[00:03:12]And there is only so much that can get through the funnel. It was a massive game changer when I hired my first EA and she came in as my bouncer. No one No one could because that was how I scaled.

[00:03:25]I scaled by being available to the external, not the internal of taking half an hour to get to my desk because and there was nothing wrong with the team, but and and she was very very much like the sort of come to me first.

[00:03:40]By which point a lot would drop off. So, you were talking about your DMs. So, for example, on Instagram, I would highly recommend you do an auto response which is thanks so much for reaching out. I don't actually tend to turn my DMs. If you want to drop me a line, here's my email. You already have people who have the intention, but they drop off. And if you put things through the the funnel each time, it's a filter. Because the people that really are intentional and want to get to you, one, they're probably worth the time.

[00:04:13]But the other tip and trick I would say is maybe it's that they don't need that time with you anyway. So even by you saying, "Hey, why don't I connect you with so-and-so?" or "Why don't you have a look at this resource?"

[00:04:28]it just pushes it back out. Because what we want to be doing if people are actually wanting to plug in and harvest, which they can't help it. If you're inspirational and you're a position of authority and wisdom, people will want to plug in to you. And that's obviously what's happening with you.

[00:04:44]But the key is that you don't need to be the sole energy source of that and the wisdom source. Say you actually almost have a kind of >> Like, "Have you watched this magnify video?" Like, no, literally I'm like, "Watch this you" cuz people say to me, "Can you find me a scripture Shinae on how you prayed for this?" And I'm thinking, "You can Google this scripture." I mean, I cannot Google Yeah, Google can get like, you know, so it's >> But the more you do that, the more people, you know, because otherwise it's sort of like, you know, we receive what we make ourselves available for. So the more people actually talk within their networks to each other rather than everyone facing you, the more that it will become that they take that agency back.

[00:05:27]>> I mean, as you're speaking, I'm thinking it's I'm in the definitely stage of building a team or building a system.

[00:05:34]I'm building systems now like for the first time ever, but I do think there is a level of it's not arrogance, but it's like, "Wow, I take myself seriously." That I've been afraid to admit to myself that >> we take our dreams and time seriously, though?

[00:05:48]>> But I again, it's that dimming your light thing that Oh, like I remember I had someone come and help me once I was speaking, and everyone was sort of like, "Oh, now Shinae's got an assistant.

[00:05:56]Shinae's got an assistant." And I was like, "Okay."

[00:05:59]And I felt very like what like why is it like why is that a thing? I know so many people that have assistants, but I think it's that acceptance that I have a great work to do, and I deserve the help, and I deserve the support.

[00:06:10]>> protect and respect >> taking me a while to accept the help.

[00:06:15]>> If you timesheet out your time.

[00:06:18]And you know, I used to have people say to me, "Can I buy you a coffee?" I was like, "I can definitely buy my own coffee, but my hourly rate is" and it wasn't it it was just helping them understand that a coffee wasn't appealing for me.

[00:06:32]I'm sure they were very interesting, and you know, I do think you need to make time for people to a certain extent.

[00:06:38]But really looking at how they formulate their ask towards you as well. That's really important because you can get a really good of how serious people are about your time.

[00:06:48]>> No, your time, your hours, your minutes are so valuable even to people that don't really love you. So, how much more should you value your time and what you do with it? So, it's been yeah, it's That was That's one thing I love about my work that there is a value to my time.

[00:07:04]>> That's probably why you've been sent to be a lawyer.

[00:07:08]>> To teach with I think I think it's so easy to coast through life and let others make that decision for you and take you like, "I'm going come with me.

[00:07:16]Be my plus one. Be my" But I really think if you're serious about getting ahead in your relations, in your career, with your ambitions, you have to get intentional about it.

[00:07:25]>> But even things like with your health, you know, like everything is that sort of how do you just retain [music] that intentional?

[00:07:33]And you know, we all have that friend who's like, "Go on, just have another one or this."

[00:07:37]>> [music] >> And if you're really serious about reaching goals and things like that, you've got to really assess and analyze.

[00:07:43]Is that the best [music] for me?