Real Friends Vs. Fake Friends: How To Tell The Difference

追加: 2026-06-05

[00:00:00]I'm excited for today's topic. Today's topic is long overdue.

[00:00:08]Plus, today's topic is about fake friends and we're going to cover how to spot them, how to avoid them, what to do is a fake friend, and why protecting your peace is more important than having a bunch of friends. So, buckle up. Sign number one of having a fake friend. They love your struggles.

[00:00:38]Basically, pay attention to those that when your life is falling apart, they're like first in line to know everything.

[00:00:49]You have drama in your life, Jo. You have issues with family, Job. She's the first in line to get all I'm going to say she because my like the friends I make are girls for if you have a guy best friend I don't know girl but yeah they're available all the time when your life is falling apart nowhere to be seen whenever something good in life happens to you they're nowhere to be seen you know what I mean because a fake friend only wants like what's bad for you they never want you to be better than them or do better than them. But pay attention to that. Like when you call them to tell them something good happened, I call I'm having a shitty time.

[00:01:33]Whatever. She's there. I'm talking to her.

[00:01:40]You know what I mean? But then the moment I call like, "Oh my goodness, everything is sorted. I got a promotion at work." Whatever.

[00:01:48]Done. The times you start calling her, she's not there. Why? They don't like it. Fake friends don't like when you're doing better than them. You're trying to get your life together. Do you know what I mean? These are the types of people you need to pay attention to. Like if they're available when you have good times and bad times, that's a very amazing friend. Do you know what I mean?

[00:02:02]But those that are only available in the shitty times, that's a fake friend because they just want the drama, girl.

[00:02:07]They just want the tea. They don't want to know whether you're good or not.

[00:02:10]Because the moment that you're good and you tell them that you're good, they're nowhere to be found. And they have nothing to say. They always have something to say when something shitty is happening. Yeah. But they have nothing to say when something good is happening. And then they avoid you.

[00:02:21]That's sign one. Sign number two, everything is a competition. Everything is a competition. You tell them, "Oh my goodness, thank God. Today I drank a liter and a half of water." No, I drank, too. I'm going to do my master's degree.

[00:02:36]What is it with master's degree? I got married. I've done everything. I don't need to do that. Like, okay, pay attention to that.

[00:02:49]I dyed my hair. I could never dye my hair.

[00:02:56]Why is everything in competition? That is a fake friend. A friend that always has to one up you as well. That's a fake friend. Avoid like the good news to celebrate with you.

[00:03:13]They hear the good news and they start preparing all the better [ __ ] they've done just to compete with you.

[00:03:22]Like that's not a friend. That's not a good friend. No. I tell you my good news. You appreciate that good news and move on.

[00:03:31]Everything is a competition.

[00:03:34]The moment you realize this, start questioning that friendship because that's not a friendship. That's a competition. We're not in the Olympics.

[00:03:42]Thank you very much. Sign number three and it's like divided this view friends that gossip with you about other people.

[00:03:52]Friendships we gossip. Yeah, we gossip that persons and for example I've had a best friend for 10 years. Yeah. I promise you I promise you our gossip has nothing to do with other people. It's genuinely about my life and her life.

[00:04:23]So be careful. We all like the gossip and this is very important. It depends what type of gossip. The same way that person talks about other people to you, she does the same thing behind your back about you.

[00:04:36]Your friendship should not be to tell me that person is my best friend. That's my friend. And all you talk about is other people's lives and how other people are living. That is not a good friendship.

[00:04:48]That is not what friendships are supposed to be for. Friendships uh you motivate each other. You be there for each other. Uh I don't know mentally, spiritually. You're going through a tough time. They are the shoulder you cry on, you know, other than your families. Do you know what I mean? Uh, by the way, I'm using a friendship should not just be just about gossiping other people. You should be striving to be better people. You should be, I don't know, being um setting goals together, trying to motivate each other. She friendships that you just gossip are not friendships because the moment you leave that table, they will find another person to put in that chair and they will talk to about you. M I don't make the rules. This is genuinely what it is. fight with fight with this is the reality. So when you sit here and you're thinking, is she talking about so and so? Is she talking about me? Maybe it is you. Maybe you are as I'm speaking to you.

[00:05:44]This is not a friendship. A friendship should not be just about gossiping gossip.

[00:05:52]I gossip about my life. I start chatting [ __ ] about my life to her and she starts chatting [ __ ] about her life to me.

[00:05:56]That's type of gossip. But for me to keep gossiping about day and night, that's not a friendship.

[00:06:02]I don't need that friendship. I've got [ __ ] to do. Sign number four, the backhanded compliments.

[00:06:24]No, that's that's not a good friend.

[00:06:27]That's not a good friend. That's not someone that I want to give me backhanded compliments. What is this?

[00:06:32]And then this isn't honesty. This is her trying to put your self-esteem down and make herself feel better. Fake friends love hiding insults instead of compliments.

[00:06:53]listen to the words that these people are saying to you. Do you know what I mean? Like somebody says, "Wow, you it actually looks good on you." What you mean actually? Of course it looks good on me. What do you mean? If they're not your number one fan, that is not a good friend. And that is not that's not that's a fake friend.

[00:07:12]Stop making excuses for people.

[00:07:15]The her way of talking is just rudeness.

[00:07:19]That's a rude [ __ ] And I don't like rude [ __ ] in my circle. Thank you very much. Sign number five. Last sign.

[00:07:26]They only call when they need something.

[00:07:35]That's the only time they call. They don't call to check up on you. They don't call to I don't know. They don't want to grab a coffee. They don't want to check up on your family. So, you're telling me that's a friend? A friend that always calls you in their time of need and to ask for favors is not a friend. That's some that's a leech.

[00:07:52]That's somebody that's using you. That somebody is taking advantage of you and you need to wake up. Damn, this sounds harsh.

[00:08:00]Reality. That's not a friend. And if you are this person that only calls a specific person for favor, stop doing that. That's [ __ ] annoying and that's unnecessary.

[00:08:12]You start eating off of them. Now, I feel like a lot of people at home because one of two things. One, you have no backbone and you just leave them and you're like, "It is what it is.

[00:08:23]This is the reality of life." No, this is not the reality of life. You don't have to be in that situation. And two, I've known her for like all my life.

[00:08:38]Babe, just because someone has known you for the first 10 years of your life does not give them the right to be in the next 10.

[00:08:50]It doesn't make sense. I've known people since the age of five. I've stopped talking to them at the age of 21.

[00:08:58]But scoot, we're not the same person. I don't like the friendship that we have.

[00:09:02]All you do is gossip to me. All you do is basically call me when you need something. That's not a friendship. And I don't care.

[00:09:14]People grow apart. People have different priorities. You wake up.

[00:09:19]Actually, she's in competition with me. Every time I feel good about myself, she gives me backhanded compliments. You don't have to stay loyal like that. Does that make sense?

[00:09:35]You have to stay loyal to them. Not when something is [ __ ] up your peace of mind. It doesn't make sense to me.

[00:09:44]It doesn't process in my head. If I realize that someone is draining my energy, giving me backhanded compliments, always in competition with me, only calls me when they need me, why would I keep them in my life? I can avoid them, which is what we're going to talk to talk about next. the I'm just saying you do not need to have a thousand people that you know. You can have acquaintances. You can have people like you can have colleagues, acquaintances, a friend of a friend, but not everyone is your friend. Do you know what I mean? Like learn the difference.

[00:10:18]Once you realize that someone is a fake friend, here's how to avoid them. One, stop oversharing.

[00:10:29]Stop giving them everything about your life. That's enough. Whatever you've shared before, good. It is what it is.

[00:10:35]But from now on, stop sharing with them.

[00:10:38]You've realized is a fake friend. Stop sharing with her.

[00:10:44]There's nothing else you can do right now but stopping the communication to that extent. Another thing, watch what they do, not what they say. Everybody claims to be a good friend. Everybody claims to be loyal. Everybody claims whatever. See what they do. The signs that I mentioned earlier, go through them. Somebody says, "I'm there for you.

[00:11:11]I am always there for you." And then when you call them, they're never answering. If somebody's always gossiping to you about other females, let's say other people, watch that. Keep that in mind.

[00:11:22]I'm telling you, having a friendship that's solely based on gossip. Mishy friendship, they're using you. That's a fake friend because they like remember when I said and know some people they only answer when you're going through [ __ ] and then when you're going through good stuff, they don't answer. Why is that?

[00:11:43]Why is that? They're collecting information so that they can use that information and take it to another [ __ ] that they know and share it with her. As harsh as this sounds, not everybody that's interested in your struggles is going to be interested in your victories. The people that are only interested in your struggles and not your victories are fake friends. They just love to see you struggle. That's not a good friend. They don't even help you with the struggles and you're telling them you're like, "Hey, they don't even try and help out." And that is not a friend. Another way to avoid friend, get comfortable with distance.

[00:12:15]Get comfortable with it. You don't always need to be available. You don't always need to answer. You don't always need to have someone around you. You know, I promise you, as soon as you distance yourself and you're not um in contact with that person, watch how you're going to feel better about yourself. Your life is going to elevate.

[00:12:33]You're going to pay attention more to your good habits. You're going to love yourself more. And that's just the reality of things.

[00:12:41]That's making the rules. Okay? This is just the reality of it. And I know some of you are watching and you're feeling butt hurt.

[00:12:50]And you know the truth like you start getting annoyed at what I'm saying. Check your friend. Friend, check your friend. Yeah, I'm just I'm just being honest with you. I'm saying this from experience. I am 27 years old.

[00:13:07]I've had hella friends. I got one solid friend, [ __ ] 10 years. But them 10 years. Yeah. the [ __ ] that I've gone through and the [ __ ] that she's gone through and the highs and lows constant.

[00:13:18]I always say Vea, she is the most constant consistent person in my life.

[00:13:25]Never never sensed, never smelled competition, never smelled jealousy, never smelled, you know what I mean? Hatred, just love, pure love, pure sisterhood.

[00:13:36]So when I when I whenever I spoken about and you feel targeted or you feel like your friendship is targeted, I don't make the rules. The biggest lesson in this is you do not need 10 friends. You don't need 20 friends. You don't need 30 friends. You don't need five friends. You just need one solid person.

[00:13:59]And you know what? A good friend is really rare to come by.

[00:14:04]is like, you know what I mean? Like that's my friend. I can rely on them if I need anything. I know they'll I know they'll be my shoulder to cry on if anything happens. I know they're going to celebrate my wins more than me. That's her friend. Mand she's rude and she gives backhanded compliments cuz that's just how she is.

[00:14:23]She's a bitter jealous [ __ ] That's what your friend is. You know what I mean? And if you feel offended about by this cuz I'm calling your friend a jealous [ __ ] I said what I said. It's easy to spot an enemy because their their actions are quite straightforward.

[00:14:41]Do you know what I mean? They're not really hard to spot. But a fake friend that disguises themselves as likely competitions.

[00:15:02]You're not my friend.

[00:15:07]Remember this. It's better to be alone than to have shitty company. And I will say this until the day I go. I am the number one person who says, "I'd rather stay alone than have fake people, fake friends around me."

[00:15:22]You know what I mean? It is very important to protect your peace. I don't understand.

[00:15:31]The more people you have, the more problems. You know when you say more money, more problems. In my opinion, more people, more problems. If you just know one or two person, okay, that's manageable. You know, 20 people, and she claims she this.

[00:15:50]I got enough problems on my own. I've got limited time here. Let me focus. I don't have time to keep gossiping. Okay.

[00:16:00]What's