kinks, coils and culture

Added: 2026-05-11

[00:00:10]For me, it was when I was in year seven.

[00:00:13]So, not that early, but um just remember having to It was fun when I actually had to deal with my natural hair by myself.

[00:00:20]And it was just so exhausting having to wake up that much early and like combing out the afro every single day. And like um I remember telling my dad this and he started helping me do it. So and he was very gentle as well which made it like a lot nicer and a lot easier.

[00:00:36]The experiences that I still talk about to this day is this woman called Candy.

[00:00:41]And she, you know, I was really excited to go to her cuz like when I was younger I was like, "Oh my god, she must be so sweet." Like she must be really lovely.

[00:00:49]She was so mean. She was so rough with my hair. I was like trying my best. I remember like trying to hold in my tears and I was like silently crying in the chair and she was like, "Stop crying before I give you something to cry about." I was like, "Oh my gosh." Like where am I?

[00:01:04]Come get me.

[00:01:05]>> I was like, "This is that's actually what I was saying." I was like, "Mom, come get me." And she was actually just horrible. And the hair didn't even look that good afterwards. And I was like telling my mom, I was like, "She was so horrible." And I still talk about Candy to this day. It goes to show like how much it actually does stick with you.

[00:01:20]>> Yeah. cuz this must have happened when I was like seven. So now I'm 21. She like she actually still could catch these hairs.

[00:01:31]>> It you just feel you don't feel confident when like your hair is like >> Yeah. I was think like we are the only people that like it's that >> exactly like everyone else like if you have a bad hair put a hat on or something but like with us is like deeper cuz like >> you also have the judgment of like everyone else but then in your community >> you have judgment from that too.

[00:01:53]>> Yeah.

[00:01:53]>> Like >> even though like you know we spoke about how uplifting it is to have like other black women compliment your hair. If your hair isn't looking cute, >> you're getting looked by, you know, old people.

[00:02:08]>> I like to be kind of experimental with the hairstyles that I do get. So, I feel like that kind of >> shows my identity. That kind of like brings it out a little bit. Um, but yeah, I think it's it's great that we can like do so much with our hair and like experiment and like, you know, I like Yeah, I love how versatile we can be with our hair.

[00:02:30]>> It just goes to show and I think that like we're so creative as well. Every like black women never find like we never run out of things to do with our hair. Like there's always something new.

[00:02:44]And I think that's there's something that's so beautiful about that. like with how long we've been around and like you'll still see stuff like >> you know crafting designs into your hair and like different colors and even like shaping your hair puffs into different shapes. I think that it's so cool to be able to do that and >> it's like we're not tied down to one thing. Um, but that's something that you might feel like when you're younger, like there's not as much variety, >> but like as you get older, it's like, you know what, >> there's actually like the world is my oyster when it comes to my hair, which I think is really cool.

[00:03:28]>> Since I've got my locks, it's definitely helped me grow confidence with my hair.

[00:03:31]Like, I genuinely couldn't I did not like my hair before it was locked up. I was very much over it. But, um, yeah, I think I brought my confidence back with it. Um, Yeah. I really think it actually depends who you go to cuz I was when I used to get like my protective styles done a lot. I would go to like the salons but it would be like a auntie salon and sometimes they'll make the odd little comment like oh your hair is really thick or like just the little comments that make you like doubt yourself. Oh sorry. I would literally tell her oh sorry oh like she'll be combing out with a blow dryer and she's like oh wow this really thick hair. Oh my god I can't even get a comb through it. I'm like, "My bad, bro. Like, not what you want me to say." So, then I stopped going to the aunties. And I think that's when I really started like just getting fed up with the whole like cycle of just get wash of the hair. Like, get it done, take it out, get it done again. Like, it just >> Yeah, I definitely know like you went to aunties and stuff and they're just like, "Oh, your hair's too thick." Or like, "I can't do anything with it." or like they'll make sure they'll be like, "Oh, make sure your hair is like relaxed before you come." Why? Like you should be able to manage. Yeah. Like we all have the same hair.

[00:04:43]>> Or imagine they'll be like, "Oh, like I remember one time I showed her this style." She's like, "It's not going to work on your hair. You have to just pick something else." I'm like, "This is this is literally a black girl. What are you talking about? It's not going to work on my hair."

[00:04:53]>> Remember like last year I was getting my hair done for my birthday. And I went to one of those Instagram raiders and like you would think that they're just like it's just aunties that have this like mindset but like literally this girl she was like 25 and she was like blow drying my hair. She was like oh your hair is just like really thick like and then she was using lots of gel and stuff and it's just like >> you should know better. Like you should actually know better. These aunties like sure fine I can understand the ignorance but you you're like 25. Like how can you be a service provider? How can you be a braider and not know how to braid?

[00:05:24]>> Yeah. And that's literally it. She just didn't know what she was doing from when she's adding all that gel.

[00:05:28]>> All that gel blow drying. Like it just it doesn't even need that. Like >> you don't even need gel to like braid.

[00:05:35]Like you really don't.

[00:05:36]>> Some some people don't even need your hair to be blowdried to get like >> No.

[00:05:45]>> My mom always like used to do my hair.

[00:05:47]She actually still does my hair when I come home.

[00:05:49]>> But I actually love it because it's like a little bubbling experience. Yeah. with my mom. It's like genuinely it just our connection feels so deep when like she's doing my hair and like she puts so much love into it.

[00:06:04]>> So like I just love it.

[00:06:06]>> A It's really beautiful when you have your mom doing it.

[00:06:10]>> Yeah.

[00:06:11]>> When I got my locks, my aunt, she's the one who even put these in my hair.

[00:06:14]They're just supposed to be a little twist and I was like, let's let's keep them locked up.

[00:06:18]>> And yeah, she would just sit there. I was saying to her as she just like crocheted and everything was like hours and we just like watched some bridges on the thumbnail. The bonding experience when you get your hair done by someone that doesn't have like internal >> then it's just totally different >> and like when I feel like maybe they're upset that they have to do their job which kind of silly like when it's your family doing it like they're doing it because they're choosing to do it.

[00:06:45]Is this the way that you leave me?

[00:06:48]>> Like she doing it like it's just really like generational. Beautiful.

[00:06:53]>> I don't want to be friends.

[00:06:56]What's it going to take for you to believe me?

[00:07:02]Is this the way that you want it to end?

[00:07:07]Is this the way that you need me?