Coming Out At Work

Added: 2026-06-03

[00:00:00]Hey yo, did you know that the merch store opened yesterday and you can literally click the link down below to like GET THINGS? BUT YEAH, let's talk about gay things because it's pride month. But honestly, no. The topic of this video is not gay things unless you are trans and gay, which is like totally valid. I did a video a while ago which was specifically about coming out to like your parents, right? But some of you might have done that. Some of you might just be curious how to come out to like other people as well, right? And this video will be how to come out at work. And there will be probably one how to come out to friends in the future, right? To like cover all the topics. And no, I will not make a how to come out to your pet video because your pet loves you anyway and they don't understand because it's a pet. Let's be honest.

[00:00:46]Okay. Sorry. I know Jeremy the cat is the smartest boy out there, but like you know what I mean? He licks his butt.

[00:00:54]Okay. Okay. Okay. Anyway, coming out at work. So, I'm going to start with an example of how I I did it and then like things you could do, right? I was very fortunate, right? That I already knew from the beginning that the group of co-workers I had were like very like leftwing if or open-minded is like the better term, right? Um because it's like it's a public library.

[00:01:25]Right? If you would have like people with like some of opinions that are like out there in the world, I probably wouldn't be working there in the first place. Okay. So, I knew that it was pretty safe to do. Not saying it's easy, but it was safe to do. So, what I chose to do is the very first thing I did was tell just the boss of that single library, right? We're like a big system with like many libraries obviously, but I just told that one person and uh I talked with her and I was like, "Yeah, um the way I want to do it would probably be I'm telling you now, then at a later point I want to tell like the people in our small team and then at a later time I'm going to write an email to literally everybody in this company to do that, right?"

[00:02:14]So I told her and like she was so happy, right, that I told her that I was like um trusting enough in her to be able to tell her which is like yeah that's cool.

[00:02:25]Not everybody is lucky enough to have that kind of relationship, right? Um, so I did tell her and then like maybe twoish weeks later I told like the whole team and again they were all very supportive and at first I went still by my dad name because I had like a big thing where for my personal mind I needed to first change my name on my actual legal documents to start using my new name. Didn't do that in the end. I I asked them to call me by my new name like 2 months before I actually changed my name legally. Okay, so that was cool, right? And to be honest, in the like over a year that they have started calling me a new name, only once maybe twice did I have a hiccup. That's insane, right? If you have come out to anybody, right? doesn't matter, friends, family, work colleagues. It's so easy for people that don't like are in that situation to like make the quick mistake because they have known you for so long for like the old name and the old pronouns. But literally, um I like didn't even realize it at the time, right? But I'm realizing it now talking about it. Like it's insane how good they were with that, right? Um that they really never made that mistake. It's like it's beautiful, right? I love my co-workers, right? I always say like I'm working towards not having to do my IRL job anymore and I want to do YouTube full-time and I do.

[00:03:56]But like I do really like the people in my work. Um which is why I'm still working there. Anyway, so I told them and I believe either on the same day or like a week later um I'm not entirely sure anymore. It's been like a while. I wrote an email, not too long, but like a longer than average email explaining like the whole situation um about my new name, my new pronouns, and I attached like a little video and stuff as well and like a saying and all that kind of jazz, right? And I literally addressed the mail to like everybody at the company. And before I sent the mail, I had like a coworker of mine that I already told like proofread it, right?

[00:04:42]Because like that's what you do when you work in a company and you want to try to be an adult, you know, and you're not that good with like spelling yourself.

[00:04:51]So, we did that and in like the first week I got like so many replies from people. They were either like congratulations or I'm so happy for you or one coworker of whom I had suspected that they were somewhere on the LGBTQ um spectrum, they basically wrote a mail like welcome under the rainbow banner and the way they worded it made it like obvious that they were part under that banner as well, right?

[00:05:23]And then another person liked like my ex approach. My god, words help liked the approach so much that they had asked if they could show this email to a friend of them because that friend was in a similar situation and was thinking about if they wanted to come out at work as well. I was like, "Sure, please, please, please show them." Right? If it can help somebody else, show them. I have nothing to lose and or have against that, right?

[00:05:47]But again, nice that they ask. And I think one of the sweetest things ever and it's hard to explain. I need to explain. something about Germany first.

[00:05:59]Basically, most German companies might even be all I don't know if it's like completely required by law have like something called which translate to like the support person for women that's like it's not a good translation. I don't know how like to translate it like perfectly but basically that person has a role to make sure that in the company women are treated equally as the man and nothing goes wrong. you can go to them if there's like sexual harassment any of those kind of things right there's a specific person for that and I believe most companies are required to have that after a certain amount of like people and obviously I never had contact with that person before because this person is only there for the women right but like on the day I sent out the email they contacted me and were like yo welcome if you have like any needs you can like message us and I was like oh my [ __ ] god that's the sweetest goddamn thing I've ever seen Okay, that was almost made me cry. I'M ALMOST CRYING THINKING ABOUT IT NOW. What the hell?

[00:07:05]Yeah. So, that's what I did.

[00:07:08]And um after I send the mail, it was a little bit awkward seeing like other people from like not my library but from like the system for the first time. But again, like no one ever like misgendered me or something because I do know that like this library has a pretty high standards on who they like even hire and if you have like any like stupid opinions, right? Probably you don't work anywhere or you're like smart enough to shut out shut up about them. Okay, so yeah, that's how I came out. Ma'am, there almost eight minutes to explain. That was crazy. But maybe like my explanation already helped you, right?

[00:07:49]So coming out at work I feel like depends on multiple things right number one whom at work do you want to come out to right only specific people only your team the whole company only your boss like because like every like working situation is like so different right like in our place I always work with like the same like five to six people day by day by day right but if you're like in a big company you either like work by yourself or you maybe have rotating teams or who know I don't I don't know how other jobs work I know how mine works okay like shut up um but yeah you have to decide first who you want to come out to and I think after you have like determined to whom you want to come out to um I liked my approach quite a lot right if you're like the person in charge your boss your chef whatever the hell is like someone you can trust someone you can talk to. I would probably talk to them first and maybe ask them if they have any tips of how you can convey this message together, right? You could also cold turkey from the very beginning, write an email like to everybody if you just want to like have it done with, but I almost feel like that's my personal opinion, right? I almost feel like that's too disrespectful to the people you work with day by day. I feel like they almost have like a right to know first. Obviously they don't. Obviously they don't. This is your life. Okay. But like in my mind it was that way, right?

[00:09:24]I would have felt that I disrespected them and I would have felt bad if like did if I didn't tell them before I like wrote the email and then like suddenly read the email they're like, "Huh? What?

[00:09:34]What? What?" Because then it seems like I didn't trust them enough to tell them, right? That that's the thing. That's the thing. Okay. So that's probably how I would do it, right? Try to talk with your boss if they are approachable. Then like talk with your team and then like if you care, write a companywide email, right?

[00:09:55]Otherwise, you don't have to do that.

[00:09:59]But here's the thing, right? If you do come out to your team and your boss and you getting start called a new name, a new pronouns and then at some point other people from the company either come like to your place or you go somewhere else and then they don't know that you're trans, right? So either they're going to get confused when somebody suddenly addresses you differently or if you go there, they will obviously misgender you, but they don't even know that they misgender you because like you never told them, right?

[00:10:26]So it's like it's always weird if you like don't tell anybody else. So like I would always tell or try to tell like everybody.

[00:10:36]But yeah, that is like the work coming out a video. And now actually I do want to talk about one more thing because one of the reasons that I had an pretty easy time to come out was because I live in Germany. Okay. And Germany has many stupid laws, okay? But Germany also has many, many good laws. And some of those laws make it like basically illegal and slash impossible to get rid of people for reasons like their sexual orientation, their gender, they're suddenly trans or whatever, right? It's like the company cannot fire you, get rid of you because of like those reasons. So, like I obviously had like no not even the slightest bit of like anxiety that I would lose my job. But I do know sadly that in America that's not the case in America. Probably not everywhere, right?

[00:11:34]But the typical American thing you hear is like your boss can basically fire you because they didn't like what t-shirt you wore that day, right? There's like no like worker protection in like many places. So technically, if somebody in the higher up positions who makes these decisions doesn't like the fact that now like a trans person is working in the like company, they could fire you. And that's like a real possibility in third world countries like America. Okay, don't get at me just because I called you third world country, but you probably accept that by this point. Okay, non against the Americans watching this video. I love you so much, but like can we just agree that your country is currently [ __ ] Okay. And I don't know what to do against that. I really don't. Like I really don't. Man, I wish I wish there was better news, right? But you will have to check what like your local laws are. If you can be fired for any such reasons, and if that is a thing where you think you could lose your job if you come out at work, then maybe don't, right? Sure, it will suck that you get misgendered. And sure at some point if you are on HRT and you are transitioning you might want to wear different clothes or it will be physically visible on your body that you are transitioning. Indeed I'm talking about boobs and stuff like that right um at that point you kind of have to tell them although I have heard stories about people basically never telling them and you will not believe how oblivious sis people can be to these changes. Okay. Is crazy. Is crazy. Okay.

[00:13:12]Main topic of the video over. There's one last thing I want to talk about.

[00:13:16]It's a personal thing which is why it's at the end of the video. I have made so many like little shilling videos where I recommended you items to get stuff. And thank you so much every time you do support them, right? But I often have like skirts in there and I was talking about buying one for myself and I didn't have one before, right? I never in my life wore a skirt until 2 days ago. Oh my god. I probably make a whole video at some point, right?

[00:13:43]But I just wanted to mention here that 2 days ago, actually 3 days ago, the package arrived and then 2 days ago, I wore a skirt and visited my mother. My god, skirt go spinny. It was so nice because it's getting warmer in Germany now because it's summer to not have to wear the jeans all the time. Have a little skirt.

[00:14:05]I have a little top with it. It was beautiful. And the reaction from my mom.

[00:14:11]Honestly, I find it funny, but some of you might find it offensive. Okay? But I it's my situation, okay? You don't get to decide what it is. And it's funny, okay?

[00:14:23]her literal respon like I told her before I visited her that I would arrive in the skirt because I was like if I just do that without telling her oh my god my sweet old mother is going to get like a heart attack or something okay so I told her and then like when I I was there we had a talk she like didn't really mention it that when I was like leaving she was like said the sentence and obviously translation into English because she speaks German it's not as bad as I thought what it would be and honestly I find that a [ __ ] funny and b in I know my mom right that's basically a compliment right because she was like I totally accept that you want to be a woman slash you are I totally accept this she calls me by my new name she uses the new pronoun she screws up quite a lot but like she's old she's okay she's the only person that's allowed to do that okay she's the only person that's allowed to misgender me because like my god Okay.

[00:15:22]So, I knew that, but from the very beginning, from the first day I came out to her, she was like, "You're not going to start to wear like dresses and skirts, right?" Because like in her mind, she could not imagine her child wearing such clothing. So, for her going from that stance to it's not as bad as I thought, that's basically like another person telling you, "You look goddamn [ __ ] amazing." Okay.

[00:15:49]So that was cool. Anyway, shy out. Happy pride.