This Is How We Stop Hantavirus

Added: 2026-05-12

[00:00:00]Get this guy up. What is this? Passenger on board the cruise ship that has suspected haunt virus outbreak where three people have died and five to six people are sick cries out as a ship remains near Cape Verde. Haunt virus is rare. Go up. Sorry. Haunt virus is rare but serious illness usually spread through contact with rodents or their waste. Let's listen to this guy. He's making a uh his haunt virus statement.

[00:00:22]Here he is.

[00:00:23]>> I normally wouldn't make a video like this, but I feel like I need to say something. So, I wrote a few things down. I am currently on board the MV Hobbyas, and what's happening right now is very real for all of us here.

[00:00:38]>> We're not just a story.

[00:00:40]>> All right.

[00:00:40]>> We're not >> Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

[00:00:45]Who told you to get on a boat?

[00:00:51]I'm dead serious.

[00:00:55]I went on the Impractal Joker cruise once to do standup comedy. I walked off that boat. I said, "I'll kill myself.

[00:01:01]There's no amount of money you could offer me to do a cruise gig ever again in my life." I said, "I'll kill myself if I have to get on another cruise. I will take my own life. I will gladly take my own life." When this guy goes, "We're not just a story." We know you're not just a story. If we thought you IT WAS JUST A STORY, WE'D LET YOU DOCK.

[00:01:18]WE KNOW IT'S NOT JUST A STORY. THAT'S WHY YOU'RE NOT DOCKING WITH HAN VIRUS.

[00:01:23]WE GOT TOO MANY [ __ ] PROBLEMS. WE GOT AI. WE GOT WE GOT IRAN. WE GOT ALL THIS [ __ ] GOING ON. WE GOT ALIENS. WE GOT THE PRICE OF OIL. AND THEN YOU THINK you're going to bring a haunt the virus? No, we're not just a story. No, you're not.

[00:01:40]And and I feel bad for this person. And I'm not saying that this person doesn't deserve empathy or sympathy. I'm simply saying that the boat he's on should be struck with a missile and they they should burn alive with their choices.

[00:01:54]And I'm not saying they don't deserve sympathy or empathy. I'm saying you got on the boat, you should be killed. I'M I'M SERIOUS. I'M SERIOUS TONIGHT. I'VE had enough. These people, they bring these rare outbreaks from the buffet of a cruise ship with rodent [ __ ] and then they're mad that they can't GO WAL AROUND [ __ ] MACY'S. YOU LIVE with your choice. Sit in your bunk on the cruise and get ready to get struck with a missile. You're dead. We're going to kill you. You're dead. HAUNT THE VIRUS will not give kill you. The US government will. I'm telling you, I'm sour. You know, Trump, his decisions I don't like. I've soured on him. I thought he had some real good points early on, but I'll tell you this. If he blows up this ship, if he blows up this Havirus ship, I'm back.

[00:02:46]Let's listen to the rest of his statement. Because by the way, I am not I am serious when I say that you can't take a cruise and then bring like a plague back.

[00:02:59]That's not the way it works. But again, let's start him from the beginning, please. Here, uh, this guy is on the Havirus cruise ship. Havirus, friend of the show. Let's listen to this gentleman. I normally wouldn't make a video like this, but I feel like I need to say something. So, I wrote a few things down.

[00:03:18]>> Can you stop this for a minute? Why does everyone feel they need to say something? He might He feels like he's I know he feels like he's dying and it's sad and it's horrible and I get it, >> but here's the deal. You're sitting there in a green shirt and you go, I feel like I need to say something. And then I guarantee you I'm somehow I get blamed. Like, watch. I I don't know if he's going to do this, but I feel like this is gonna get there's going to be very like it's not going to take a Here's the what he should say. Are you ready? Hey, um we're pretty [ __ ] and there's haunt virus here. It's a real thing. It's not just a story and we realize that it is a very dangerous outbreak and you know even with the best tracking of people and everything. It's going to be it's going to it's going to pose an unnecessary risk to human civilization.

[00:04:10]We don't need another pandemic. We haven't even recovered from the last one. So, I've made this video to ask the government to strike our boat with a missile and blow us up instantaneously and kill us instantly so that the rest of the world can live. Love you, mom.

[00:04:31]Love you, Dad. But let's see what he actually says. That's the selfless thing. The selfless thing for all these people to do on this haunt chip is to take their own life.

[00:04:44]Selflessly.

[00:04:46]Selflessly.

[00:04:48]They should all walk the [ __ ] plank.

[00:04:52]No, they should walk the plank. I've had enough of this now. An old school pirate plank. The Trump administration with my full support. I'll be back. JD Van, stop telling people you don't like me because I got a big mouth, by the way. We'll get We'll get Joe Kent in there. How about that? I'm kidding. But he does have that jaw. Um, hont. They walk the plank.

[00:05:19]Is it my fault this guy goes to the Iran war? I'm the problem.

[00:05:24]They they make them walk the plank.

[00:05:28]Now he's freaking out about AI. You see this JD Vance? He's freaking out about AI. He's all upset about the AI. WHO'S DOING THE AI?

[00:05:35]Who's doing that?

[00:05:37]They they they have a plank and they make them walk the plank and god I loved pirate stuff as a kid. And you make them walk the plank and they get and at the end of the plank they get to say something.

[00:05:50]They get to say something like, "Hi, I this sucks.

[00:05:56]I feel really scared. I don't know what comes after this. The government just said there was no God and aliens created all of us." That's the last thing I read in my bunk before I was made to walk the plank because this boat has a haunt virus outbreak. That was kind of disturbing that that's the last thing I read. But I shouldn't have gone on Facebook. That was my fault. I went on Meta. I went on Facebook. There was an article that there was no God. We're all created by aliens. So, I guess this is literally the last thing I'll ever do.

[00:06:21]Um, but I completely understand and and agree with our government's decision to make everyone on the ship walk the plank instead of posing an unnecessary risk before the summer months where we hope we see a little spike in spending and the economy repair itself uh by people are buying Martins's potato rolls, uh, burgers, dogs, etc. You know how it is.

[00:06:39]Couple of vacations.

[00:06:42]Anyway, let's watch his statement. By the way, this seems insensitive. It's actually not. And you're a child if you think it is. Continue. I am currently on board the MV Hondias.

[00:06:51]>> Yes.

[00:06:52]>> And what's happening right now is very real for all of us here.

[00:06:56]>> I get it.

[00:06:56]>> We're not just a story.

[00:06:58]>> Totally.

[00:06:59]>> We're not just headlines.

[00:07:01]>> Okay.

[00:07:01]>> With people.

[00:07:02]>> Yes.

[00:07:03]>> People with families, >> okay, >> with lives, >> okay, >> with people waiting for us at home.

[00:07:08]>> I know.

[00:07:11]>> There's a lot of uncertainty. And that's the hardest part.

[00:07:18]All we want right now is to feel safe, to have clarity, >> and to get home. So, if you're seeing coverage about this, just remember that there are real people behind it, and that this isn't something happening.

[00:07:34]>> Well, >> somewhere far away, it's happening to us right now. I'll share more when I can.

[00:07:41]>> What does the statement even mean?

[00:07:44]I know it's a real boat with real people with honors. I don't think it's AI.

[00:07:49]What's he saying?

[00:07:51]Does he want Does he think I'm gonna And I feel bad for him in his trembling voice. He's sad. But does he think I'm going to say come back to with the haunt virus? I I just did a photo shoot and I look good in some of these.

[00:08:06]I just interviewed the cast of Selling Sunset. I don't want haunt virus.

[00:08:12]That's a non-statement statement.

[00:08:15]We're real people. We exist. We're on a boat. We have haunt virus. Uh uh.

[00:08:22]We get it. We know you're real people.

[00:08:25]We know you have families and and people that love you. That's the problem. We don't want you infecting them with [ __ ] hot virus.