UUID as a service?!

Added: 2026-06-04

[00:00:00]I do have to ask this question. Cuz I've worked at a place where we've had a lot of microservices. I mean, we're talking about a decent amount. Like for me to be able to get a video, I've had to go through five to seven layers of microservices before. Like that that does exist. Okay, it's been pretty bad.

[00:00:17]But is this real am I getting rage baited from Reddit? Funny story, no one will believe, but it's true. A good friend of mine joined a startup as CTO 10 years ago. High growth phase, maybe 200 devs. In his first week, he discovered the company had a microservice for generating new UUIDs.

[00:00:31]One endpoint with its own dedicated team of three engineers. Is that possible?

[00:00:36]Like is this actually possible? Is he he's rage baiting? This feels like rage bait. But at the same time, like I'm not going to lie to you. I've been a part of really micro serviced places, and this like isn't necessarily that far off.

[00:00:51]Including a database guy, the plot thickens. Okay, that that does sound like actually like a good plot. Other teams were instructed to call this service every time they needed a new safe UUID. My pal asked what the F. I turned turned out the service had its own DB to store every previously issued UUID. I actually didn't read this. I just knew the general concept. I Just hold on. I just need Just can I can I have a moment? Can a man have a moment for a second? I'm struggling, okay? Just let me just let me have it for a second, okay?

[00:01:19]>> [laughter] >> Okay. Okay, I I feel like I'm back.

[00:01:22]Okay, hey. Hey, we're so back.

[00:01:25]>> [laughter] >> No, I'm not back. Oh my gosh, imagine storing a Like imagine having a table of previously used UUIDs. Like just that as a concept. Like just Just for a second, imagine being in a room. Okay, you're in a room, there's a bunch of people talking, and you actually get on the whiteboard, and somebody at some point has drawn something that looks like this. That's like P UUIDs, and actually has it just UUIDs, and then someone puts it here like unique.

[00:01:55]>> [laughter] >> Like someone someone actually draws a diagram.

[00:02:03]>> [laughter] >> And like there's like three people in the meeting going, "Yeah, that that seems about right."

[00:02:09]>> [laughter] >> So funny.

[00:02:12]Oh, they call it a GUID. No, that's a Microsoft UUID. Oh, that's a Microsoft universal uh uni- unique identifier.

[00:02:20]Microsoft unique identifier is a GUID.

[00:02:23]Global unique identifier. That's different. It actually has a completely different format. GUID format. Like if you look at it. Uh no, see that's a UUID, you dummy. Give me the Give me the GUID. No, no, stop it. See, it's it They can't even It can't even do it. I want the Microsoft GUID. Uh Microsoft GUID. I want the Microsoft GUID. There. Yeah, give me that Microsoft GUID. Yeah, yeah. It's a little bit different. I know that. I can't I can't remember the the reasons what makes it Yeah, Microsoft GUIDs have like seven versions. Yeah. They're different than the other ones. Yeah, yeah, there we go. Yeah, it's like XX Yeah, yeah, it's it's just it's goofy looking, right? It's different. Um let's go on. It turns out the service had its own DB to store it. I still Dude, I I really love this idea that someone There was a diagram.

[00:03:07]>> [laughter] >> And it honestly it just tickles me every time I think about it. I just I would love I want to be in a meeting. Like this idea of being a part of really dumb meetings just seems so funny to me. Like people designing the dumbest possible and having multiple people agree with him. Seems good. Requests were handled as follows. It would generate a UUID, then validate it by checking its own database to ensure the newly generated UUID didn't match any previously generated UUIDs, then insert it, and return it to the client. Peace of mind, I guess. The team had its own Kanban board and sprints.

[00:03:42]>> [laughter] >> I [laughter and gasps] want I I want to be in a retro so bad. Why can't Why can't I be a part of a retro? Like dude, this is rage bait. It If this is rage bait, it makes me so funny. Any blockers? Fellas, any blockers this morning? Are you working on the the universal the new unique universal timestamp V2 algorithm? Has to be rage bait. Dude, it has to be. See, now the the good part now, just in case anybody's wondering, see, now we have 20X engineers. You don't need to have this meeting and design this diagram.

[00:04:19]You can just have AI quickly whip it up for you super quick because AI will be like, "Oh man, that's a genius move."

[00:04:27]You know what I mean? There is technically a chance they could collide.

[00:04:32]Hey, technically fellas, there's a chance these boys could collide. I mean, we need We need to make sure this is the only way to guarantee It makes me happy. I'm sorry. It just makes me happy. I just want you to know that now. I'm very happy in life, and so thank you very much for this very hilarious thing. I appreciate it. I don't know if it's real or not, but it just the cockles, you know, where Christmas is stored in my heart, the cockles of my heart, they're warm right now. They're just genuinely warm. Thank you.