Why American & Japanese Cultures Are Largely Incompatible

Added: 2026-05-08

[00:00:00]I'm going to say some things in this video that are going to trigger a lot of the Japan-loving foreigners, especially Americans who watch my channel and who want to move to Japan and think they're going to live in Japan for the rest of their lives. And you know, hey, I hope you do. I hope you figure that out and I hope you have a perfect, wonderful life with your J-babe wife in Japan until you die. But, the truth is America, especially if you're from America, and hey, a lot of guys are going to get triggered about this, but that's okay. I was the triggered foreigner a couple years ago in Japan when I was in denial as well.

[00:00:34]I thought Japan was going to be my home and I was going to live happily ever after here for the rest of my life because this country's perfect, right?

[00:00:42]And topic for a different video, but it's funny how there are the two sides.

[00:00:48]There's the Japan is perfect side and the I hate Japan side, which is occupied, funnily enough, by mostly foreigners who live in Japan. They just want me to hate hate on Japan and talk about how terrible Japan is all the time.

[00:01:01]And I'm actually not saying Japan is bad or good. I'm just telling you how different Japan is. And it works for the Japanese people, but it might not work for you.

[00:01:11]So, if especially if you're coming from America, man, the biggest difference and a lot of people think, "Oh, Japan and America, they're political allies. Japan is America's greatest ally. We should We need to work together and we can live happily ever ever after and cooperate together all the time." And there are a lot of ways in which America and Japan are polar opposites.

[00:01:34]In America, the whole idea of the game, if you want to be cool, if you want to be successful, if you want to be popular, stand out, assert yourself, be confident, be an individual, don't follow the crowd, look how original I am, guys. Look how much of a free thinker I am.

[00:01:57]Look how I'm going to challenge the current narrative.

[00:02:00]In Japan, all of those are basically the the worst thing that you can possibly do.

[00:02:06]Social death in Japan. If you go out and you say, "Guys, look how much I'm going to challenge the current narrative. Look how individualistic I'm going to be.

[00:02:16]Look how much I'm not going to follow other people."

[00:02:19]Japan is all about following what everybody else does. And it's it's even crazier because there's always a system to everything.

[00:02:26]Everything in Japan, there's a system, there's a way to do it, there's a way that you're expected to do it.

[00:02:32]And even in hobbies and niches that are kind of defined by being different, being original, being loud, and not giving a [ __ ] and not following the rules. Punk music, skateboarding, even in those niches in Japan, they find a way to make it so Japanese that as an American looking through your American lens, you might be like, "What?

[00:03:00]But this doesn't make any sense because the whole point of punk music is to be different and to not follow the crowd and to be casual and be wild."

[00:03:10]And in America in Japan, even in these niches like punk music, it's all about following what everybody else is doing, having the look, making sure your image is right. I used to Dude, I used to play in this band here.

[00:03:23]I used to fill in for my friend's band and we would play like hardcore shows, punk shows, and we'd show up to a show at I'll never forget this. We would show up to a show and everybody's standing around waiting for basically the the booker of the show, the promoter to meet everyone and give like a speech before we even start setting up or doing any sound checks or anything.

[00:03:47]And then like you stand there in a formal line and they give a speech to everyone and they tell you your exact times and then they bow and then you bow.

[00:03:54]And you go to everyone like formally introducing yourself all to other rest of the bands and say, "Hey, like let's work together tonight. This is going to be a great show."

[00:04:03]And then even during the set, during the middle of the set, they're playing this loud music and they're screaming and people are moshing and jumping off the walls, but the song ends and they're just like, "Arigato gozaimasu."

[00:04:15]And then between songs, they do this thing in Japan and this is just like a general music thing in Japan and I think it has to do with like professionalism.

[00:04:24]At concerts in Japan, between songs, they talk so much.

[00:04:30]And it's not just like talk like in America, people talk between songs, but that's only if you have to like change something, you have to change a guitar out, you have to tune your guitar. And the goal is to talk as little as possible.

[00:04:46]The goal is to show especially in punk shows and hardcore like, you know, maybe you go to like a famous big concert somewhere and somebody is preaching and putting on this whole act and stuff like that. But when you're going to like a local punk or hardcore show, it's all about shut the hell up, play music as much as possible. We did not come here to listen to you talk.

[00:05:05]The less you can talk, the better.

[00:05:07]And in Japan, it's like we have a 20-minute set and everyone between every song stops and gives like a little formal speech and says, "Hey, thank you everyone for coming. This is where in like They're not tuning their guitars or anything.

[00:05:22]Our band name is this. You can follow us on these socials." And they're all speaking very formal Japanese. And they go on this whole speech and they they play the next song. And this even manifested itself up to the point where I was doing band practices with this band that I was in.

[00:05:37]And at band practice, they even had written down like a set list for us to practice by.

[00:05:45]And included in the set list was the part where I was speaking in between songs cuz I was the singer. And they're like, "All right, just practice like saying some stuff."

[00:05:53]And I'm like, we don't like we don't we don't really need to talk, right? Like we we don't even need to talk and if I do have to talk, I'll just freeball it because it's really just kind of buying time until we can get our guitars tuned and start the next thing. And they're like, "No, you have to practice saying what you're going to say."

[00:06:08]And I remember being so confused. I'm like, "That's that defeats the whole purpose of like local underground punk shows, though."

[00:06:16]But in Japan, it's all about doing the right thing. It's about doing what you're expected to do, being professional, following the rules. And this you can see this in I remember skateboarding with my friend. There's a couple videos on my channel I uploaded of me skateboarding with one of my buddies here.

[00:06:31]And when I first like he helped me go buy a skateboard one day and when I bought the skateboard, he was like, "All right, what like what clothes are you going to wear?" And I was like, "I'm just going to wear the clothes that I have on now. I have like jeans and like a athletic hoodie."

[00:06:42]And he's like, "No, you got to like get some skating gear and you have to get a You have to get like a skateboard brand's What was it called?

[00:06:50]Like a like a windbreaker hoodie or something like that." And I was like, "Nah, like I'm I'm good. I'm just going to skate in this." And he was like he was so confused. He was like, "But you you're going to Like you can't skateboard in these clothes. Those aren't like skateboarding gear."

[00:07:05]And I was like, "Yeah, I can like I'm just going to do this." And he's like he was so confused. And in America, you'll come across people like that, too, and they'll be kind of like, "Oh, you're a poser, dude. You got to have the right gear on." But like they're just [ __ ] with you and they don't like really care. It's not that deep. My friend was just so confused. He was like, "But like you're just going to dress like a normie and then like like skate?"

[00:07:25]I was like, "Yeah." And he was so confused. Like you got to do the thing, though. If you're going to be this archetype, you have to do every single thing that this archetype is expected to do, even if that archetype is seen as wild and crazy and off the walls.

[00:07:42]And it's just like wow, blows absolutely blows my mind.

[00:07:46]Gift-giving as well. Gift-giving in Japan is very important. There's a whole culture to gift-giving.

[00:07:51]In America, it's all about are you original? Did it come from the heart?

[00:07:57]Did you really put your thought into it?

[00:07:59]In Japan, it's all about doing the thing that you're expected to do.

[00:08:04]And I was having a conversation with one of my friends and basically there was like a a cross-cultural gift-giving experience, right? In basically an American context.

[00:08:14]And one of my Japanese friends was like, "But how do I How do How do I do this?

[00:08:18]Like where do I write my name? What do I buy? What do I get?" And I was like, "That's You know, that's kind of the whole the whole point of gift-giving is that you get something that you want to get. It comes from the heart and it says like I put my time to think about this.

[00:08:28]I'm going to be original. I'm I thought about this on my own."

[00:08:32]And they're like, "That's so confusing to me."

[00:08:36]They're like, "All right, well, where do I write my name on it?" Like does Does it matter? Just like whatever you want.

[00:08:40]And they're like, "Well, how do I wrap it? What color What color wrapping paper do I use?" And I'm like, you know, it doesn't it just has to be from the heart. And they're like They're just like so confused by it. And they're like, "But in Japan, if it's this type of if it's this type of setting, you you give this gift and you wrap it like this and you use this color and you write your name here." And there's a specific time, too, when I was working at my my old job and I brought in some souvenirs from America because that's That's the thing you're expected to do, too, if you take time off from a job, you bring souvenirs for everybody as well.

[00:09:13]And to an American, you're like, "But that doesn't even make sense, though, because if you're expected to bring souvenirs every single time, it doesn't feel like someone got it because it came from the heart and they wanted to give you a souvenir. It feels like they just did it because that's what they're expected to do and they're just following the rules, defeats the purpose of gift-giving." But in Japan, it's not. It It's all about you you're doing the right thing, you're doing the thing that everybody expects you to do.

[00:09:37]So, anyways, I bring these souvenirs and some people weren't there that day, so I left the souvenirs for them like in the fridge.

[00:09:45]And my one friend was like, "Dude, you can't just like leave them there."

[00:09:48]I was like, "Yeah, I can. Like I can just put them in the fridge." He's like, "You're not going to come back and like give them to them in person?" I was like, "Nah, like the only thing that really matters is that I got them a gift anyways. Like that I just got him something. He's like, "No, you All right, well, at the very least you should you need to write a write letters and put like the little letter like a little note next to your gifts."

[00:10:05]And I was like, "All right, whatever."

[00:10:06]And I wrote like to blank from Jimmy.

[00:10:09]And he's like, "No, that's like you can't just write that. You like in Japan when you leave it a gift for someone or you're giving someone giving something to somebody you write this whole like there's a whole like little speech to it. Like a planned out like oh, this is how you have to write. This is the word you have to use and you have to say like o machi agari kudasai like formal Japanese please enjoy this.

[00:10:29]And I remember being like, "Dude, this is so goofy though because it gift giving isn't about gift giving isn't about doing the gift giving is about like hey, look at this.

[00:10:39]It came from my heart. I wanted to do this because I want to show you my appreciation, not because I felt obligated to do it or because I'm following the rules.

[00:10:47]But that's just in America. In Japan, it's all about I'm following the rules. I'm doing the thing that I'm expected to do. I'm doing the thing that I'm supposed to.

[00:10:55]And if I don't do it like that, it shows lack of concern, disrespect. I'm giving you something to you that I don't even that I didn't even put the time into to do it the right way.

[00:11:07]The right way is all that matters in Japan. It's not about being original.

[00:11:10]It's about just doing the right thing.

[00:11:14]There's another thing you gift giving giving cash in Japan you you know supposed to give money to people when they get married when they different events um when someone dies at a funeral you're supposed to give cash as well. But the thing is if you're going to like a a happy celebration you're giving someone cash you have to give them cash that is new and crisp.

[00:11:35]And like you know perfectly crisp new cash.

[00:11:39]And it's because like oh, this is this is a good event. This is something that I should go out of my way to withdraw new money for and congratulate you for.

[00:11:48]And then when you give gifts when you give money to someone when it's like a funeral or a sad event you're supposed to give crumpled old money.

[00:11:56]And it's like it represents oh, well, I didn't have the time to go out and withdraw it from an ATM. It's just like I had to shuffle through my old things and find this crumpled up cash.

[00:12:10]And it was so unfortunate and I had to give it to you like that.

[00:12:13]And I remember when I first learned this I was like, "What? That makes no sense.

[00:12:17]The the only thing that matters is that they're getting the money that you can help them out and give them some money."

[00:12:23]But in Japan if you did that and you didn't follow the rules and you didn't do the thing that was expected, it's like holy [ __ ] this person didn't do the right thing.

[00:12:34]They didn't put the time and effort to follow in to follow the rules and respect me on such an important day.

[00:12:42]Whether it be your wedding day and it's a happy celebration or somebody died.

[00:12:46]Wow, this person really and they're going to disrespect me and not follow the rules and do the expectations the ex the expected thing in this moment.

[00:12:58]And this is something like that's the thing that's just so funny is cuz a lot of people who know a little bit about Japan they like oh, well, the Japanese work culture sucks, dude. Japanese work culture sucks, but it's just that, you know, like Japan's sick. It's just not the work culture. So if I could just live in Japan but work at a foreign company like it's sick.

[00:13:15]It's like, dude the Japanese work culture is just a product of Japanese people and Japanese culture.

[00:13:23]You see this everywhere in Japan.

[00:13:27]Now of course the work culture is somewhere where it's manifested in the absolute worst way or it may seem like the absolute worst way through your American lens.

[00:13:37]But you see that same stuff everywhere in Japan. Every even the places where you would not expect to find it like a punk rock concert, skateboarding with your friends in the street.

[00:13:48]They're like you have to do the expected thing and if you're not doing the expected thing, it's like what's wrong with you?

[00:13:56]In America, it's all about look at me and look how original I am.

[00:14:00]Look at me taking my own volition to go do this and to push against the main narrative and to stand out.

[00:14:07]In Japan, it's all about look how good of a follower I am. Look how much I can follow the rules.

[00:14:13]Cuz it's difficult when there are countless rules around you every single day. Everybody's going to make some mistakes.

[00:14:19]But if you can be the person that does all of the studying and follows to the point where you make no mistakes and you are perfect you perfectly blend in in Japan, that's like wow, this person gets it. This person is smart. This person can be respected.

[00:14:34]Same thing for job interviews. In America, we did job interview practice in my language school in Japan.

[00:14:40]In America, how do you go to a job interview? Sit up tall, look them in the eyes, shake their hand firmly. Look how assertive I am.

[00:14:49]Look how eager I am to change this company. Look how eager I am to implement my own ideas at this company.

[00:14:57]Look how original and individualistic I'm going to be. It looks good on your resume to people if you have been around to a bunch of companies because people think oh, wow, look at this guy. They can move on to the next thing. They're determined. They're eager. They want to move up. Getting up to the next level every single day, constantly changing, pushing the narrative pushing back against old ideas.

[00:15:21]In Japan, it's the opposite.

[00:15:23]You go to a job interview. You're expected to act not super confident.

[00:15:27]You're expected to listen. You're expected to respond to the questions in a very respectful not very strong tone. You're expected to say, "I'm going to be a team player. I'm going to be able to follow the rules.

[00:15:40]I'm great at taking orders.

[00:15:43]I plan to work at this company for the rest of my life."

[00:15:46]That's how promotions work as well.

[00:15:48]Promotions work based on how long you've been at the company, how good of a follower you've been, how well you're able to take orders and listen to what other people are doing around you.

[00:15:56]In America, it's like if that's all you do, you ain't getting a promotion. You need to be busting your butt trying to get to the next level, pushing back, throwing out new ideas all the time.

[00:16:07]Look how aggressive I am. Look how assertive I am.

[00:16:11]Look at how original I am.

[00:16:13]That's not going to fly in Japan.

[00:16:16]I think that's a long enough rant for today, guys. I could talk about this subject for like 24 hours straight and all the different places in Japan where I see this.

[00:16:24]But I'm not going to bore you with all that today. Young James [email protected].

[00:16:28]Peace out.