China’s Rural "Leftover Women" Scare Off 25 Million Single Men: ￥1.08M Dowry, Pregnant with a Kid!

追加: 2026-05-10

[00:00:00]The Mayday holiday marks the peak season for rural youth matchmaking in China.

[00:00:05]Let's take a look into the reality that surrounds matchmaking in rural areas. Be prepared because the upcoming conversation might just challenge your perceptions.

[00:00:17]>> Come sit down. Let me pour you some water.

[00:00:20]>> Hey, don't pour it yet.

[00:00:21]>> What's wrong?

[00:00:22]>> Didn't the person before just drink this? Why hasn't it been poured out?

[00:00:26]>> Why are you so picky? He didn't drink it. Did you see this? Matchmaking has become like an assembly line, moving one after another, and they can't even be bothered to switch out the drinking cups.

[00:00:37]>> Do you own a house? Uh, >> yes, we have one at the village.

[00:00:40]>> So, I'll have to go and live in the village with you.

[00:00:43]>> Having a house in the village is pretty good, isn't it?

[00:00:45]>> Aren't a car and a house the basic requirements these days?

[00:00:49]>> Oh, so what are your requirements then?

[00:00:51]I want a bride price of 288,000, five gold items, and a diamond ring, plus an Apple.

[00:00:58]>> Apple? What Apple?

[00:01:00]>> An Apple iPhone, of course.

[00:01:01]>> But don't you already have one?

[00:01:03]>> It's not the latest model. I want the 17 Pro Max.

[00:01:06]>> Oh, is that not good enough?

[00:01:08]>> Not good enough. That won't satisfy me.

[00:01:11]>> This is the reality of rural matchmaking. There's no romance, no shy courtship, just a checklist of material demands from the traditional expectations such as a car and the house, a high bride price, and five gold items and a diamond ring to modern-day necessities like the iPhone. This isn't about marriage. It's nothing more than blatant demands made with a sense of entitlement.

[00:01:34]>> Any other requirements?

[00:01:36]>> One more. My mom is urging me to get married, mainly because my older brother isn't married yet. The bride price you give me will all go to my brother so that he can get married.

[00:01:45]>> How old is your brother?

[00:01:46]>> He's 35 this year.

[00:01:48]>> Oh, so the bride price is actually for your brother to get married.

[00:01:51]>> Yes.

[00:01:52]>> This isn't matchmaking. It's clearly a transaction of selling daughter in exchange for a daughter-in-law. No wonder the mother is so eager. She's simply in a rush to get her son married.

[00:02:01]At a matchmaking event in a rural village in Her, a 2002born delivery man showed up with a box of instant noodles as a gift. Awaiting him was the woman dressed in her pajamas, having just woken up.

[00:02:13]>> Another one. Why don't you grab a chair from over there?

[00:02:16]>> So, I'll sit here. Where do you work?

[00:02:19]>> I don't work. Isn't this matchmaking?

[00:02:22]I'm waiting to get married. How did you get here?

[00:02:24]>> I drove.

[00:02:25]>> What kind of car do you drive?

[00:02:27]>> It's a car that's even cooler than a BMW.

[00:02:30]>> What car is that?

[00:02:31]>> Baun.

[00:02:33]>> What do you do for work?

[00:02:34]>> I delivered food in Tangjin last year.

[00:02:37]How much can you make delivering food?

[00:02:39]And you're still here for matchmaking?

[00:02:40]>> 7 to 8,000.

[00:02:41]>> Do you have a house?

[00:02:43]>> There's a house in the village, but it's a single story.

[00:02:46]>> No house in the county.

[00:02:47]>> Haven't bought one in the county yet.

[00:02:49]>> If you buy it, will it be a full payment or a mortgage?

[00:02:53]>> A mortgage? We'll pay it off together.

[00:02:55]What year were you born?

[00:02:56]>> I'm 2003. How about you?

[00:02:58]>> I'm 2002. Any other requirements?

[00:03:01]>> I just want to find someone with money.

[00:03:03]How much bride price can you offer? The bride price is usually around 100,000.

[00:03:08]>> We want 188,000. This is my new iPhone 17. You have to pay for it and you have to buy me a mink coat.

[00:03:16]>> Winter is already over.

[00:03:18]>> I still want it even after winter.

[00:03:20]>> Where do you work?

[00:03:21]>> I don't work. Even if I get married, I won't work. Just so you know.

[00:03:26]>> You're in pajamas. Did you just wake up?

[00:03:28]>> Yeah, I just woke up.

[00:03:30]>> Matchmaking during the new year must be busy. Yeah, I've seen three today.

[00:03:35]>> Don't you dress up for matchmaking?

[00:03:37]>> What's there to dress up for? Once you're married, it's the same anyway.

[00:03:41]One comes, they're another. It's a hassle.

[00:03:44]>> Rural areas are like this. Income isn't that high.

[00:03:47]>> I don't care. I just want to find someone rich. I don't want to work. It's tiring. If I find someone rich, I won't have to work. Just letting you know in advance. The bride price won't be returned.

[00:03:58]>> How about we exchange contact info?

[00:04:00]>> I won't add you. I'm not interested in you. You can go. You're too poor. Just go.

[00:04:05]>> Showing up in pajamas for a matchmaking session, meeting endless different prospects in one day, and skipping even the basic polite formalities. Not working after marriage, this isn't matchmaking. It's a straightforward looking for a ticket to a comfortable life. Behind this attitude lies the confidence given to women by their absolute advantage in the rural matchmaking market. Now, let's take a look at this matchmaking with a pregnant woman. It's truly mind-blowing.

[00:04:35]What are your requirements?

[00:04:37]>> As long as there's a house, I guess. But the matchmaker has already told you about my situation, right?

[00:04:43]>> No, I don't know.

[00:04:44]>> I have a baby. I'm pregnant.

[00:04:46]>> Pregnant? You're still doing matchmaking while pregnant?

[00:04:50]>> Well, how should I put it? My boyfriend's family didn't improve and he ran off. I can't find him. I went to the hospital and the doctor said that if I abort, I might not be able to get pregnant again. I want to keep it. Oh, that's complicated.

[00:05:03]>> How much do you earn per month >> in bowing? About 10,000 to 20,000.

[00:05:09]>> Let me tell you my requirements. I'm truly pregnant, so I don't want too much for the bride price. Just 1888,000. You need to understand my girlfriends are asking for 280,000 or 380,000. I just want to find someone honest.

[00:05:23]>> Can I go out and think about it?

[00:05:25]>> Do you think my conditions are reasonable? I want to have the baby and stay home without working, but your income won't be enough to support the two of us. The main thing is, um, I need security for me and the baby.

[00:05:37]>> This isn't about finding a partner for matchmaking. It's clearly about looking for someone to pick up the tab. But if you think this is the worst of it, you're underestimating the level of absurdity in the rural matchmaking market. Let's take a look at another explosive matchmaking scenario.

[00:05:54]>> The bride price doesn't really matter.

[00:05:56]The main thing is my family is pressuring me to have kids.

[00:06:00]>> That's perfect. My family is pressuring me to have kids, too.

[00:06:04]>> Well, then if the first child is a girl, do you think that's okay?

[00:06:08]>> A girl? It's fine. My family can accept that.

[00:06:11]>> Well, I already have one child.

[00:06:12]>> You have a child? So, you've been married before?

[00:06:15]>> Yeah. Isn't it normal to be remarried with a child?

[00:06:19]>> Well, my mom really prefers a son, so that's a bit uncomfortable.

[00:06:23]>> That's no problems. I'm pregnant with another one. What? Another one?

[00:06:28]>> It's a boy. Th >> This isn't going to work for me. The matchmaker didn't tell me about this.

[00:06:33]This really won't do.

[00:06:35]>> My mom said the dowry is 200,000.

[00:06:38]>> How much? 200,000 >> plus a house.

[00:06:42]>> A house? Wow. I'm a softy. Maybe we should talk.

[00:06:46]>> And a Range Rover.

[00:06:48]>> Are you serious?

[00:06:49]>> Why would I lie to you?

[00:06:51]>> Well, you've got to promise me one thing. Don't let the kids go looking for their real dad later. Don't worry, I won't. I don't even know who the dad is.

[00:06:59]>> Ah, that's good. That's good. A second marriage with one child and pregnant with a second, not even knowing who the father of the child is. It's obvious she's not doing anything serious for a living. No wonder people are saying that with the current economic downturn, even city girls who can't make money are going back to their hometowns to find someone to settle down with. Now, let's look at the man's reaction. At first, when faced with the reality of an unwid pregnancy and carrying another man's child, the man shows resistance and dissatisfaction in line with traditional values. However, when the woman throws in the hefty diary of 200,000, a house, and a Range Rover, the man's absurd response, I'm a softy, instantly shatters his pretense with moral high ground. This is the reality of rural matchmaking today. It's no longer about finding a partner, but a full-fledged transaction.

[00:07:49]Many nizens have also shared their own bizarre matchmaking experiences. I'm born in 2004. My family has already introduced a widow for me. A few days ago, I went to a matchmaking session and the matchmaker said the girl was very quiet and didn't like to go out. I went to meet her and it turns out she's been bedridden for 2 years. I've been on 500 matchmaking dates and next month I'm getting married, not to the matchmaking candidate, but to the matchmaker herself. On my first matchmaking date, I went to the woman's house. I had just sat down when an elderly relative passed away. They insisted I pay for the funeral expenses, saying I was the one who caused the death. Recently, the matchmaker introduced me to a person in a vegetative state, saying they'd wake up soon and I should hurry up and commit because the price will go up once they wake up. These seemingly comedic stories shadow the real struggles and the tears of single young men. In these matchmaking situations, men often become like a coveted piece of meat, having to face the other party's ruthless economic scrutiny and prepare for any number of jaw-dropping additional conditions. Why are rural girls so straightforward in presenting such outrageous demands during matchmaking? Why do some young men continue to endure these humiliating and awkward situations? The reason lies in the cold statistics and harsh reality of the population structure. Rural youth face an extremely challenging marriage market. Too many bachelors, too few girls.

[00:09:21]Honestly, it's really hard to find a wife these days. I'm 38. I have a house and a car, and I'm 1.78 m tall. It should be easy for me, but it's actually not. Women's expectations are too high.

[00:09:33]They already want a house in the city, at least 100 m, worth more than 600,000, which I can't afford. A few days ago, the matchmaker brought a woman along and there were six people in total. They all wanted 200 yen each as a meeting gift.

[00:09:47]And then after adding me on WeChat, they never replied. There are too many scammers like this in the matchmaking business now. I've already lowered my standards a lot. I don't care if she's a bit unattractive or short. Around 1 m is fine. She can be a bit overweight, too, as long as her character is good and she's willing to live a good life with me. But I still can't afford to get married. The average person only makes 6 or 7,000 a month. Saving 2 or 3,000 a year is already a big deal. Even after working for 20 years, you still can't afford a wedding. Looking at the bride price and the negative trends now, I feel so helpless. If I don't get married, I feel like I'm letting myself and my family down. What's the point of living if I don't have someone to rely on in my old age? If I get sick, no one will take care of me. That's the reality. It's so stressful.

[00:10:37]This complaint from a 38-year-old man represents the voice of millions of older single men in rural China. Today, in rural areas, young men in their 20s to early 40s are mostly bachelors.

[00:10:49]Official data shows that the number of single men of marriable age in rural China has surpassed 25 million. In the group of older unmarried people in rural areas, the gender ratio has even reached an astounding 13-2.

[00:11:03]This absolute imbalance of more men than women has completely altered the supply and demand relationship in the matchmaking market. So where have the eligible rural women gone? The answer is that most rural women have chosen to go work or study elsewhere. The data shows that nearly 45% of rural migrant workers are women and nearly 70% of them chose to marry and have children at their place of work. This is an irreversible demographic shift. Meanwhile, rural men, due to the need to inherit family property and support their parents, are more likely to stay behind or eventually return home. This female outflow male retention dynamic has directly caused a significant vacuum of eligible women in inland rural areas. Of course, the historical roots of the severe gender imbalance in rural China cannot be separated from decades of the CCP's family planning policies and the traditional clan mentality in rural areas. In traditional rural society, the ideas of raising children for old age and continuing the family line have deep roots. When only one child was allowed, many female infants were abandoned before they were even born. This led to a long-standing serious deviation in China's birth gender ratio. The gender imbalance that accumulated over those years has now turned into a harsh reality, precisely backfiring on the marriage prospects of this generation of men. As a result, the scarcity makes things precious phenomenon has played out in the marriage market. Women have become the absolute sellers in this market with some women going on four or five matchmaking dates a day or even 10 or more like company executives interviewing low-level employees. In this extremely imbalanced supply and demand situation, the phenomenon of sky-high bride prices has emerged. In some rural areas, the average bride price has skyrocketed to 150,000 to 200,000 yen. And in certain areas, it can even reach 300,000 UN. This amount is equivalent to the total income of an ordinary rural family for 10 years. In addition, there are demands for immovable assets such as a car and a house in the county town, free gold items, five gold items, and a diamond ring, and even the latest model Apple iPhone, which has become a trend. Let's take a look at how the parents of both sides negotiate the bride price.

[00:13:29]>> Today, my dad and I went to the woman's house to talk about the bride price.

[00:13:33]We're here to discuss their marriage, see how we can work things out. We talked yesterday and they want 1.08 million.

[00:13:41]>> 1.8 million. Honestly, I can't come up with that.

[00:13:44]>> You can't come up with it. But that's the child's request.

[00:13:48]>> You can't just listen to the kid, though. You adults need to take the lead here, too, right?

[00:13:53]>> Isn't this how it's done here?

[00:13:55]>> To be honest, how much money do we, the farmers have? We're all working for others. If we make 100,000 or 80,000 a year, that's already good. I really can't afford that. Well, if you can't come up with it, my daughter says, "Forget it."

[00:14:09]>> I see. They're getting along well. There doesn't seem to be any problem.

[00:14:13]>> That's not the point. It's her and her brother as well.

[00:14:16]>> At this moment, the girl's younger brother enters and directly sets the price. 1.08 million, not a penny less. I still need to buy an Audi and a house later. You have to follow the proper procedures. I really can't afford it. If you're willing, we can keep talking, but if not, then forget it. Let's go. Let's go.

[00:14:35]1.8 million. They really dare to ask for that. What a steep demand. Looks like this marriage isn't happening. A nizen's comments have been eye opening. Maybe you just want to marry a wife, but she just wants to escape poverty and maybe help her brother do the same. Huh?

[00:14:51]Today's marriages aren't about you marrying me or me marrying you. It's about us raiding each other's families.

[00:14:58]What's even more brutal is the existence of a harsh contempt chain in the matchmaking market. Young men with two sons are placed at the very bottom of this chain. This not only means the woman will receive fewer resources, but also that they may face complex sister-in-law relationships and heavy burdens of supporting aging parents in the future. Parents empty their life savings and borrow money everywhere just to secure a wife for their son. But these marriages built on a foundation of high bride prices are often incredibly fragile. The slightest problem can lead to divorce, leaving both personal and financial losses in the end. If rural matchmaking is a simple, crude, bride price auction, then urban matchmaking is a sophisticated and complex asset restructuring and class defense battle.

[00:15:45]During the Mayday holiday, not only are the rural matchmaking scenes bustling, but the matchmaking corners in city parks are equally crowded and even more lively than popular tourist spots. With umbrellas wide open, countless eager parents gathered on the front lines for a chance to seal their children's happy future. However, unlike in rural areas, the matchmaking logic here has a completely different vibe. At the matchmaking corner in People's Park in Shanghai, a woman passionately introduces her precious daughter. My daughter graduated with a master's degree from a 985 university, works in HR at a foreign company, and earns 300,000 a year. The man must be a new Shanghai resident or a local, have an independent apartment in the central city with no mortgage, be 175 cm or taller, and have at least a master's degree. These aren't high requirements.

[00:16:37]We just believe in matching social status. A man hearing this wasn't happy.

[00:16:42]These young girls have too many demands.

[00:16:44]My son may not have a house, but he works hard. Why do people start by looking at the household registration book and property title? In cities, the bride price isn't always the only hard requirement. In economically developed regions like Jangsu, Ja Jang, and Shanghai, the woman's family might even offer a generous dowry. However, this doesn't mean it makes it easier. Their thresholds in cities are not only high, but also hidden and almost impossible to meet. What matters here is strong alliances and social matching.

[00:17:13]education, household registration, property location, and whether the parents have a pension, each factor is quantified into scores on a form.

[00:17:22]Interestingly, the matchmaking dilemma in cities mirrors the rural situation in a peculiar way. In rural areas, there is a leftover man crisis, while in cities, it's leftover woman anxiety. In traditional Chinese views, marriage often follows the male higher female lower matching gradient where women tend to look for men with higher economic conditions and education than themselves. While men are willing to marry women whose conditions are slightly lower than theirs. If we divide men and women by their marriage conditions into four categories, A, B, C, and D. A men marry Boman. Bmen marry C woman. Cmen marry D woman. So who's left? the most eligible A woman and the least eligible D men. Therefore, rural leftover men are essentially the victims of the urban rural wealth gap, which causes women to flow in a one-way direction. Meanwhile, leftover women of the cities are a result of the clash between women's growing independence and the traditional mindset to admire the strong. While they seem to be living in two different worlds, both groups are ultimately struggling in the same tangled web of marriage and dating.

[00:18:29]After experiencing the materialistic price tags and conditional calculations of the matchmaking market, more and more young people are choosing to opt out of the game, becoming part of the no dating, no marriage, no children, no house group. The four nos are not just about giving up or slacking off. They represent a deep, heavy sigh of resignation. When the high bride prices and various bizarre demands come rushing in, love is no longer the focus. All that remains are material interests and calculations.

[00:18:58]Not getting married is because when the average cost of marriage exceeds eight times the national average disposable income, many young people realize that marriage has become an incredibly expensive luxury for them. Not buying a house is because draining six wallets for a 30-year mortgage means living the rest of your life too afraid to quit your job or get sick, becoming a slave to concrete and steel. Not having children is due to the staggering costs of education and time commitment which are enough to overwhelm any ordinary middle-class family without a strong financial foundation. As a result, this generation of young people is going through a profound awakening. If marriage doesn't enhance their quality of life, but instead becomes a burden, trapping them in the grind of a massive economic system, then staying single is the most sensible way to protect themselves.