How Native Speakers REALLY Use “Get Over” in English | Speak About Problems Naturally

[00:00:00]Welcome to Speak English Fluently. I'm Maya and I'm here with Ben. Before we begin, subscribe to the channel so you can keep practicing real, natural English with us.

[00:00:10]>> Hi everyone. Maya, I need your help today.

[00:00:13]>> Oh, no. What happened?

[00:00:15]>> I had a terrible cold last week. The cold is gone, but I still feel tired. I told my coworker, "I finished my cold."

[00:00:24]And she looked confused.

[00:00:26]>> I can understand why. Native speakers usually don't say, "I finished my cold."

[00:00:32]>> Then what should I say?

[00:00:33]>> You can say, "I'm getting over a cold."

[00:00:36]>> Getting over a cold?

[00:00:38]>> Exactly. It means you're recovering. The illness is becoming weaker and you're slowly feeling better.

[00:00:45]>> That phrase sounds useful.

[00:00:47]>> It is very useful because we can use get over for illnesses, emotional pain, fears, difficulties, and surprising situations.

[00:00:56]>> So today we're learning how to use get over naturally.

[00:01:00]>> That's right. Let's begin with four simple meanings.

[00:01:04]>> Four meanings? Okay, I'm ready.

[00:01:06]>> The first meaning is to recover from an illness.

[00:01:10]>> Like, "I'm getting over a cold."

[00:01:12]>> Perfect. You could also say, "She's getting over the flu." Or "It took him a week to get over the stomach bug."

[00:01:20]>> What's a stomach bug?

[00:01:22]>> It's an informal way to describe a short illness that causes stomach problems.

[00:01:27]>> So if I'm completely healthy again, can I say, "I got over my cold?"

[00:01:32]>> Yes. "I got over my cold." means the illness has passed and you've recovered.

[00:01:37]>> And "I'm getting over my cold." means I'm still recovering.

[00:01:41]>> Exactly. Notice the difference between the completed action and the action in progress.

[00:01:47]>> Let me try another one. My sister is getting over the flu, so she's staying home today.

[00:01:53]>> Excellent. That sounds completely natural.

[00:01:56]>> What's the second meaning?

[00:01:58]>> The second meaning is to recover emotionally after something painful or disappointing.

[00:02:03]>> Like a breakup?

[00:02:05]>> Yes. For example, it took her months to get over the breakup.

[00:02:09]>> Does that mean she forgot the person?

[00:02:12]>> Not necessarily. It means she stopped feeling so hurt and was able to move forward with her life.

[00:02:18]>> So I could say, he still hasn't gotten over his ex-girlfriend.

[00:02:22]>> Very natural.

[00:02:24]>> Wait, why did I say gotten instead of got?

[00:02:27]>> Good question. In American English, we often use gotten as the past participle.

[00:02:33]We say, he got over it last year, but he hasn't gotten over it yet.

[00:02:39]>> So got is simple past and gotten often appears with has, have, or had.

[00:02:45]>> Exactly. British English may use got in some of those sentences, but today we're focusing mainly on everyday American English.

[00:02:54]>> Can get over describe smaller disappointments, too?

[00:02:58]>> Absolutely. Imagine your favorite basketball team loses an important game.

[00:03:03]>> That would hurt.

[00:03:04]>> You could say, Ben still hasn't gotten over the loss.

[00:03:08]>> I feel personally attacked.

[00:03:11]>> You'll get over it.

[00:03:13]>> Hey, you used the phrase on me.

[00:03:15]>> I did, and that sentence means your negative feeling will pass.

[00:03:20]>> So, you'll get over it can sound encouraging.

[00:03:23]>> Sometimes, yes. But be careful, it can also sound cold or rude if someone is dealing with serious pain.

[00:03:30]>> For example, if my friend loses his job, I shouldn't immediately say, you'll get over it.

[00:03:36]>> Correct. That may sound like you don't care. A kinder response would be, I'm sorry, that must be difficult. I hope things get better soon.

[00:03:45]>> Then later I could say, I know it'll take time to get over this.

[00:03:49]>> Exactly. The context and your tone are important.

[00:03:53]>> What's the third meaning?

[00:03:55]>> The third meaning is to overcome a fear, habit, or personal difficulty.

[00:04:00]>> Can I say I'm trying to get over my fear of flying?

[00:04:04]>> Yes. That means you're trying to stop being afraid of flying.

[00:04:08]>> What about she got over her fear of speaking in public?

[00:04:12]>> Perfect. Maybe she practiced, gained confidence, and no longer felt extremely nervous.

[00:04:18]>> I need to get over my fear of making mistakes in English.

[00:04:21]>> That's an excellent example, and it's an important message for our listeners.

[00:04:26]Mistakes are a normal part of learning.

[00:04:28]>> So, don't wait until your English is perfect.

[00:04:32]>> Right. Speak, notice the mistake, correct it, and continue.

[00:04:36]>> Can we use get over for a bad habit?

[00:04:39]>> Sometimes, but get over isn't always the best choice for habits. We usually say break a habit or quit a habit.

[00:04:47]>> So, I need to get over biting my nails sounds strange?

[00:04:52]>> A little. I need to stop biting my nails or I need to break that habit sounds better.

[00:04:58]>> Good correction. We shouldn't force one phrase into every situation.

[00:05:02]>> Exactly. Natural English is about choosing the phrase that fits the situation.

[00:05:08]>> And the fourth meaning?

[00:05:09]>> The fourth meaning is very conversational. We use I can't get over when something surprises, impresses, or shocks us.

[00:05:19]>> Is this meaning connected to recovery?

[00:05:21]>> Not directly. Here, it means you can't stop thinking about something because it's so surprising.

[00:05:28]>> Give me an example.

[00:05:29]>> I can't get over how beautiful this house is.

[00:05:32]>> That means the house is so beautiful that I keep thinking about it.

[00:05:37]>> Exactly.

[00:05:38]>> I can't get over how expensive groceries are now.

[00:05:42]>> Very natural. You're shocked by the prices.

[00:05:45]>> I can't get over how much your puppy has grown.

[00:05:48]>> Perfect. Native speakers use that structure all the time. I can't get over how plus a complete idea.

[00:05:56]>> Can I say, I can't get over your new haircut?

[00:06:00]>> You can, but your tone matters.

[00:06:03]>> Why?

[00:06:04]>> Because the person may wonder whether you love it or hate it.

[00:06:07]>> Oh, that's dangerous.

[00:06:09]>> Add more information. Say, I can't get over your new haircut. It looks amazing.

[00:06:14]>> That's safer.

[00:06:16]>> Much safer.

[00:06:17]>> Let's review the four meanings before my brain gets tired.

[00:06:21]>> First, recover from an illness. I'm getting over a cold.

[00:06:25]>> Second, recover emotionally. She's getting over a difficult breakup.

[00:06:30]>> Third, overcome a fear or difficulty. He got over his fear of driving.

[00:06:36]>> Fourth, feel very surprised or impressed. I can't get over how good this food is.

[00:06:43]>> Excellent. Now, let's build a daily phrase pack.

[00:06:47]>> I'm ready.

[00:06:48]>> Phrase one, I'm still getting over it.

[00:06:51]>> We use that when the experience is recent and we still feel affected.

[00:06:56]>> Phrase two, it took me a while to get over it.

[00:06:59]>> Meaning recovery wasn't quick.

[00:07:02]>> Phrase three, she'll get over it eventually.

[00:07:05]>> Eventually means after some time.

[00:07:08]>> Phrase four, I'm finally over it.

[00:07:11]>> Does be over it have the same meaning?

[00:07:14]>> Often, yes. I'm over it means it no longer bothers me.

[00:07:18]>> Phrase five, Ben?

[00:07:20]>> He never really got over the disappointment.

[00:07:23]>> Phrase six, I'm trying to get over my fear of failure.

[00:07:27]>> Good. Phrase seven, are you over your cold yet?

[00:07:31]>> That asks whether the person has completely recovered.

[00:07:34]>> Phrase eight, I can't get over how quickly time passes.

[00:07:39]>> That one feels very real.

[00:07:41]>> Phrase nine, you need time to get over something like that.

[00:07:45]>> And phrase 10, Ben?

[00:07:47]>> Don't rush yourself. You'll get over it when you're ready.

[00:07:51]>> That sounds much kinder than simply saying, "Get over it."

[00:07:55]>> Definitely. In fact, get over it by itself often sounds impatient.

[00:08:00]>> Like, "Stop complaining and get over it."

[00:08:03]>> Exactly. You may hear it in arguments, movies, or jokes, but use it carefully.

[00:08:09]>> Time for a quick quiz?

[00:08:11]>> Yes. Listeners, answer before Ben does.

[00:08:14]Number one. Lisa had the flu, but she's feeling better each day. Should we say, "Lisa is getting over the flu?" or "Lisa is getting above the flu?"

[00:08:24]>> Lisa is getting over the flu.

[00:08:27]>> Correct. Number two. Your friend is slowly recovering after a breakup.

[00:08:32]Complete the sentence. He hasn't blank the breakup yet.

[00:08:36]>> He hasn't gotten over the breakup yet.

[00:08:39]>> Perfect. Number three. You're amazed because your friend's baby has grown so much. What can you say?

[00:08:46]>> I can't get over how much the baby has grown.

[00:08:49]>> Excellent. Number four. Which sentence sounds rude when someone is seriously upset? Take the time you need or just get over it.

[00:08:58]>> Just get over it.

[00:09:00]>> Correct. Number five. Is this natural? I need to get over my habit of checking my phone.

[00:09:07]>> It's understandable, but I need to break my habit of checking my phone sounds more natural.

[00:09:13]>> Great job.

[00:09:15]>> I think I'm getting the hang of this.

[00:09:17]>> And get the hang of something means you're beginning to understand how to do it.

[00:09:22]>> Another useful phrase is for another day.

[00:09:24]>> Before we finish this part, here's a question for everyone listening. What's something difficult you've successfully gotten over?

[00:09:32]>> It could be an illness, a fear, a disappointment, or even your fear of speaking English.

[00:09:38]>> Think of one answer and say it aloud using get over.

[00:09:42]>> My answer is, I got over my fear of speaking in meetings.

[00:09:46]>> And my answer is, I finally got over a terrible cold I had last winter.

[00:09:52]>> Now I understand why saying I finished my cold sounded unusual.

[00:09:57]>> Exactly. You don't finish a cold like you finish a sandwich.

[00:10:02]>> Good, because that would be the worst sandwich ever.

[00:10:05]>> In the next part, we'll practice get over in longer conversations and compare it with similar expressions that learners often confuse.

[00:10:13]Let's continue with a situation many people experience. Imagine you make a mistake at work and you keep thinking about it all week.

[00:10:24]>> That happens to me. One small mistake can live in my head for five business days.

[00:10:30]>> Then you might say, "I'm having trouble getting over my mistake."

[00:10:35]>> Does that mean I'm still upset or embarrassed about it?

[00:10:39]>> Exactly. You understand what happened, but you can't stop thinking about it or feeling bad.

[00:10:46]>> Can I also say, "I can't get over my mistake?"

[00:10:49]>> Yes, but that sentence can have two meanings depending on your tone.

[00:10:54]>> Two meanings?

[00:10:56]>> It might mean you're emotionally unable to move past the mistake, but it could also mean you're shocked that you made it.

[00:11:05]>> So, the situation makes the meaning clear.

[00:11:07]>> Right. For example, "I can't get over how careless I was." Clearly shows surprise and regret.

[00:11:16]>> What does careless mean?

[00:11:18]>> It means not giving enough attention to what you're doing.

[00:11:22]>> Let me make a sentence. I sent the email to the wrong customer and I can't get over how careless I was.

[00:11:29]>> Very good. Now imagine your manager forgave you. The customer wasn't angry and the problem was fixed.

[00:11:37]>> But I'm still thinking about it every night.

[00:11:40]>> Then I might tell you, "Ben, you need to forgive yourself and move on."

[00:11:45]>> Can you say, "You need to get over it?"

[00:11:48]>> Grammatically, yes, but emotionally, it sounds less gentle.

[00:11:54]>> So, move on often sounds more supportive?

[00:11:57]>> Usually. Move on means stop focusing on the past and continue with your life.

[00:12:03]>> Are get over and move on always the same?

[00:12:07]>> No, they're related, but there's a difference.

[00:12:11]>> Explain it simply.

[00:12:13]>> Get over focuses on recovering from the emotional effect. Move on focuses on taking your attention away from the past and continuing forward.

[00:12:24]>> Can you give us an example with both phrases?

[00:12:27]>> Sure. It took Nina months to get over the breakup, but now she's ready to move on and meet new people.

[00:12:34]>> First, her emotional pain became weaker, then she started a new chapter.

[00:12:40]>> Exactly.

[00:12:41]>> Could someone move on without completely getting over something?

[00:12:45]>> Yes. Imagine someone loses an important opportunity. They may still feel disappointed, but they decide to apply somewhere else.

[00:12:54]>> So, they're moving on even though they haven't completely gotten over the disappointment.

[00:12:59]>> Perfect.

[00:13:00]>> Let's practice this in a real conversation.

[00:13:03]>> All right. You're my friend and you didn't get the promotion you wanted.

[00:13:08]>> Maya, I'm really disappointed. I worked hard all year, but they gave the promotion to someone else.

[00:13:15]>> I'm sorry. I know how much you wanted it.

[00:13:18]>> I don't think I'll get over this.

[00:13:20]>> You will, but don't pressure yourself to feel better immediately.

[00:13:24]>> I keep wondering what I did wrong.

[00:13:27]>> Did your manager give you any feedback?

[00:13:29]>> Yes, she said my work was good, but I need more leadership experience.

[00:13:34]>> Then perhaps you can use that feedback and prepare for the next opportunity.

[00:13:39]>> You're right. I'm still upset, but I need to move forward.

[00:13:43]>> That sounded natural. You didn't suddenly become happy. You simply decided to take a useful next step.

[00:13:51]>> Real recovery takes time.

[00:13:53]>> Exactly. Now let's compare get over with recover from.

[00:13:59]>> They sound very similar.

[00:14:01]>> They often are. Recover from is a little more formal and is commonly used for illnesses, injuries, difficult experiences, or financial problems.

[00:14:12]>> For example, he's recovering from surgery.

[00:14:16]>> Correct. He's getting over surgery is possible in some contexts, but recovering from surgery is more natural because surgery is a serious medical event.

[00:14:27]>> What about a cold?

[00:14:29]>> Both work. I'm recovering from a cold sounds slightly formal. I'm getting over a cold sounds more conversational.

[00:14:37]>> So at the office, I might say I'm getting over a cold.

[00:14:42]>> Yes.

[00:14:43]>> And a doctor might say you're recovering well.

[00:14:46]>> Exactly.

[00:14:47]>> Can businesses recover, too?

[00:14:49]>> Yes. You might hear the business is still recovering from last year's losses.

[00:14:55]>> Would the business is getting over last year's losses sound natural?

[00:15:00]>> It's understandable, but recovering from is better in that situation.

[00:15:06]>> So one useful rule is that get over is common in personal everyday conversation.

[00:15:12]>> That's a good rule, but remember it can also describe serious emotional experiences. The important thing is using a respectful tone.

[00:15:22]>> Let's talk about be over something. We used I'm over it earlier.

[00:15:27]>> Good idea. Be over something often describes the result. The problem or feeling no longer controls you.

[00:15:35]>> And get over something describes the process of reaching that result.

[00:15:40]>> Exactly. Listen to these two sentences.

[00:15:44]I'm getting over the breakup. I'm over the breakup.

[00:15:49]>> The first means I'm still recovering.

[00:15:51]The second means I've recovered.

[00:15:53]>> Perfect.

[00:15:55]>> Could I say I'm almost over my cold?

[00:15:58]>> Yes, that means you're nearly healthy again.

[00:16:01]>> I'm completely over my fear of dogs.

[00:16:04]>> Good. That means the fear is gone.

[00:16:06]>> I'm not over what happened yesterday.

[00:16:09]>> Also natural. You're still emotionally affected by it.

[00:16:13]>> Sometimes people say, "I'm so over this."

[00:16:16]>> That has another conversational meaning.

[00:16:19]>> What does it mean?

[00:16:21]>> It means you're tired, annoyed, or no longer interested in a situation.

[00:16:27]>> Like, "The internet has stopped working three times today. I'm so over this."

[00:16:33]>> Exactly. You're frustrated and you don't want to deal with it anymore.

[00:16:37]>> Is that the same as recovering?

[00:16:40]>> No, this is an informal expression of annoyance.

[00:16:44]>> We've been waiting for 2 hours. I'm over it. Let's leave.

[00:16:48]>> Very natural. Could I say that in a formal meeting? I wouldn't recommend it.

[00:16:53]It may sound too emotional or disrespectful.

[00:16:57]>> What could I say instead?

[00:16:59]>> You could say, "I don't think this approach is working." Or, "Perhaps we should consider another option."

[00:17:06]>> That sounds more professional than "I'm so over this meeting."

[00:17:10]>> Much more professional, especially if your manager is sitting beside you.

[00:17:15]>> What if my manager says it first? Then you can quietly agree. Quietly? Very quietly. Let's do another guided practice. This time you're recovering from a fear of driving on highways.

[00:17:30]Okay, I'm getting over too my fear of driving on highways. Small correction, don't use to after get over in this structure. So I should say I'm getting over my fear of driving on highways.

[00:17:46]Correct. Get over is followed directly by the problem, fear, illness, or experience. She got over her fear. Yes.

[00:17:56]He got over the disappointment. Good.

[00:17:59]We're getting over a difficult week.

[00:18:01]That works, too. It means the difficult week affected you, but you're starting to feel normal again. What about get over with? Be careful. Get over and get something over with are different expressions. I've heard people say, "Let's get it over with." That means let's complete an unpleasant task so we don't have to worry about it anymore. So before a difficult exam, I could say, "I'm nervous, but I just want to get it over with." Exactly. But I want to get over the exam means I want to recover emotionally from the exam. Right. Though that sentence would only make sense if the exam was a very stressful experience. Let's compare them again. I need to get over my fear of the dentist means you want to stop being afraid. You want to get the dentist appointment over with means you want to finish the unpleasant appointment. Excellent. Those two expressions are easy to confuse. I can imagine a learner saying, "I want to get over with my homework." Yes, but the correct sentence is, "I want to get my homework over with.

[00:19:13]>> Where does the homework go?

[00:19:14]>> Between get and over with.

[00:19:17]>> Get my homework over with.

[00:19:20]>> Correct. With a pronoun, say get it over with.

[00:19:24]>> Not get over with it.

[00:19:26]>> Right. That word order sounds unnatural.

[00:19:29]>> I think we need a quick phrase pack for these differences.

[00:19:32]>> Great idea. Phrase one, I'm slowly getting over it.

[00:19:37]>> Phrase two, I haven't completely gotten over it yet.

[00:19:41]>> Phrase three, she's ready to move on.

[00:19:44]>> Phrase four, he's recovering from an injury.

[00:19:48]>> Phrase five, I'm almost over my cold.

[00:19:51]>> Phrase six, I'm so over this situation.

[00:19:55]>> Phrase seven, let's get this over with.

[00:19:58]>> Phrase eight, it was difficult, but I got through it.

[00:20:02]>> Good. Now we have another useful expression, get through.

[00:20:07]>> How is get through different from get over?

[00:20:10]>> Get through means successfully survive or complete a difficult period or experience. So, while I'm experiencing the problem, I'm trying to get through it. Exactly. Afterward, I may need time to get over it.

[00:20:26]>> That's a very useful difference.

[00:20:28]>> Imagine you have a stressful week at work.

[00:20:32]>> I just need to get through this week.

[00:20:34]>> Perfect. The week is still happening.

[00:20:37]>> Then on Saturday, I say, I need the weekend to get over that stressful week.

[00:20:43]>> Exactly. You survived it, but you still need to recover.

[00:20:47]>> Let me make another example. We helped each other get through the difficult time.

[00:20:52]>> Good.

[00:20:53]>> We took months to get over what happened.

[00:20:56]>> Excellent. Now the difference is clear.

[00:20:59]>> Can we have a mini quiz before we finish?

[00:21:02]>> Of course. Listeners, choose the best phrase. Number one, you're still experiencing a very busy month. Do you need to get through it or get over it?

[00:21:13]>> You need to get through it.

[00:21:15]>> Correct. Number two, the difficult month ended, but you still feel exhausted.

[00:21:20]Now, do you need to get through it or get over it?

[00:21:24]>> You need to get over it.

[00:21:26]>> Right. Number three, complete the sentence. I'm nervous about the interview, but I want to get blank.

[00:21:34]>> I want to get it over with.

[00:21:36]>> Correct. Number four, your friend is no longer upset about an old argument.

[00:21:42]Should you say she's over it or she's getting it over with?

[00:21:46]>> She's over it.

[00:21:48]>> Exactly. Number five, which sounds more natural for a serious operation? She's recovering from surgery or she's getting over surgery?

[00:21:58]>> She's recovering from surgery.

[00:22:01]>> Excellent.

[00:22:02]Today we learned that small changes can create completely different meanings.

[00:22:07]>> Yes, get over it, get through it, and get it over with sound similar, but they're not interchangeable.

[00:22:15]>> Get through it means survive the difficult experience.

[00:22:20]>> Get over it means recover from its effect.

[00:22:23]>> And get it over with means finish something unpleasant.

[00:22:28]>> Here's today's audience question. What's one difficult task you want to get over with this week?

[00:22:34]>> Careful, Maya. You forgot an important word.

[00:22:38]>> You caught me.

[00:22:39]>> It should be what's one difficult task you want to get over with this week.

[00:22:44]>> Actually, that still needs a correction.

[00:22:47]We should ask, what's one difficult task you want to get done this week? Or what's one difficult task you want to get over with this week?

[00:22:56]>> Now my brain needs to recover from that explanation.

[00:23:00]>> Don't worry, you'll get over it.

[00:23:02]>> In the next part, I hope.

[00:23:04]>> In the next part, we'll use these expressions in realistic conversations about work, relationships, health, fear, and everyday problems.

[00:23:14]>> Let's finish with some realistic conversations so everyone can hear how these expressions work in daily life.

[00:23:21]>> Good. I understand the rules, but I want to sound natural when I actually speak.

[00:23:27]>> That's the goal.

[00:23:29]Our first situation is about health.

[00:23:32]You're calling a friend after being sick.

[00:23:35]>> Okay.

[00:23:36]Hey, I'm feeling much better today. I think I've finally gotten over the flu.

[00:23:41]>> Excellent. Now, I'll ask, are you completely better?

[00:23:45]>> Almost. I'm still a little tired, but I'm getting over it.

[00:23:49]>> Very natural. You could also say, I'm almost over it.

[00:23:53]>> Is there any difference?

[00:23:55]>> I'm getting over it focuses on the recovery process. I'm almost over it emphasizes that you're close to being fully recovered.

[00:24:04]>> Let me add another sentence. It took me nearly 2 weeks to get over it.

[00:24:09]>> Perfect. Now, imagine your friend says, you should go running today.

[00:24:14]>> I'd say, no, I don't want to push myself too hard.

[00:24:18]>> Good. Push yourself too hard means force yourself to do more than your body or mind can comfortably handle.

[00:24:26]>> So, getting over something doesn't mean pretending everything is fine.

[00:24:30]>> Exactly. Recovery can be gradual.

[00:24:34]>> What's our second situation?

[00:24:36]>> A difficult experience at work. You gave a presentation, but you forgot an important point.

[00:24:42]>> That sounds painful.

[00:24:44]>> You come home and tell me about it.

[00:24:46]>> I completely forgot the final part of my presentation. I can't get over how nervous I became.

[00:24:52]>> That's a strong, natural sentence.

[00:24:55]You're surprised by your own reaction.

[00:24:58]>> Then I say, I don't think I'll ever get over the embarrassment.

[00:25:02]>> That sounds dramatic, but people do speak that way when they're upset.

[00:25:07]>> What would you say to support me?

[00:25:09]>> I might say, it probably felt worse to you than it looked to everyone else.

[00:25:14]>> That's often true.

[00:25:16]>> Then I might add, you made one mistake.

[00:25:19]Learn from it and don't let it control your next presentation.

[00:25:23]>> So, I could respond, you're right. I need to stop thinking about it and move on.

[00:25:29]>> Exactly. You might not be completely over it, but you can still move forward.

[00:25:34]>> I have a question. Can we say, I got over my embarrassment quickly?

[00:25:39]>> Yes, that means the uncomfortable feeling passed quickly.

[00:25:43]>> What if I'm embarrassed because I called my teacher mom?

[00:25:47]>> That may take years to get over.

[00:25:50]>> Especially if the whole class heard it.

[00:25:52]>> In that case, you may need to move to another city.

[00:25:56]>> Very supportive, Maya.

[00:25:57]>> I'm doing my best.

[00:25:59]>> Let's try a relationship situation.

[00:26:02]>> All right. Your friend recently ended a relationship and keeps checking the other person's social media.

[00:26:08]>> I say, you need to get over your ex.

[00:26:11]>> That's direct, but it may sound harsh.

[00:26:15]>> How can I make it kinder?

[00:26:17]>> Say, I know you're still trying to get over the breakup, but checking their page every hour may make it harder.

[00:26:24]>> That sounds more caring.

[00:26:25]>> Yes, it recognizes the person's feelings instead of simply ordering them to recover.

[00:26:31]>> Could I say, you deserve time to heal?

[00:26:34]>> Absolutely.

[00:26:35]Heal means to recover physically or emotionally.

[00:26:39]>> Then maybe, take your time, but try to focus on yourself.

[00:26:43]>> Very good. That sounds supportive and natural.

[00:26:47]>> What does get over someone mean, exactly?

[00:26:50]>> It means stop feeling emotionally attached to that person, especially after a relationship ends.

[00:26:56]>> So, she's not over him means she still has feelings for him.

[00:27:01]>> Correct.

[00:27:02]>> And he got over her means those feelings became weaker or disappeared.

[00:27:07]>> Exactly.

[00:27:09]>> Could get over someone sound disrespectful?

[00:27:12]>> The phrase itself is normal, but your tone matters. Emotional situations need patience.

[00:27:19]>> Now, let's talk about fear.

[00:27:21]>> Imagine you're afraid of dogs because one frightened you when you were a child.

[00:27:26]>> I've been trying to get over my fear of dogs.

[00:27:29]>> Good. What have you done to work on it?

[00:27:32]>> I started by watching dogs from a distance. Then, I spent time with my friend's small, calm dog.

[00:27:39]>> Excellent. And what happened?

[00:27:41]>> Slowly, I got more comfortable. I'm not completely over my fear, but I'm making progress.

[00:27:48]>> That is a very natural way to describe gradual improvement.

[00:27:52]>> Can we use get past here?

[00:27:54]>> Yes. Get past a fear can mean overcome it or stop allowing it to block you.

[00:28:00]>> So, I'm trying to get past my fear of flying is similar to I'm trying to get over my fear of flying.

[00:28:08]>> Correct. Get past often emphasizes moving beyond an obstacle.

[00:28:13]>> Give me another example.

[00:28:15]>> We need to get past this disagreement and work together.

[00:28:18]>> That sounds slightly different from emotional recovery.

[00:28:22]>> It is. Get past often means stop allowing a problem to prevent progress.

[00:28:28]>> So, after an argument, two coworkers may say, "Let's get past this and focus on the project."

[00:28:34]>> Exactly.

[00:28:36]>> But if one coworker still feels hurt, they might say, "I'm trying to get over what happened."

[00:28:42]>> Perfect distinction. Now, we have many similar expressions.

[00:28:47]>> Let's organize them clearly.

[00:28:49]>> Get through means survive or complete a difficult period.

[00:28:54]>> Get over means recover from an illness, feeling, fear, or difficult experience.

[00:29:00]>> Move on means stop focusing on the past and continue forward.

[00:29:05]>> Get past means move beyond an obstacle or disagreement.

[00:29:10]>> Get something over with quickly means finish an unpleasant task.

[00:29:15]>> Excellent. Now, let's build one final phrase pack.

[00:29:19]>> Phrase one, I'm still trying to get over what happened.

[00:29:23]>> Phrase two, it took me longer than I expected to get over it.

[00:29:27]>> Phrase three, she's finally starting to move on.

[00:29:31]>> Phrase four, we'll get through this together.

[00:29:35]>> Phrase five, let's get past this and find a solution.

[00:29:39]>> Phrase six, I just want to get the appointment over with.

[00:29:43]>> Phrase seven, I can't get over how different this place looks.

[00:29:48]>> Phrase eight, he never completely got over the disappointment.

[00:29:52]>> Phrase nine, I'm almost over my cold.

[00:29:55]>> Phrase 10, don't rush yourself. These things take time.

[00:29:59]>> That last one doesn't use the target expression, but it's useful when supporting someone.

[00:30:05]>> Exactly. Natural conversation isn't about repeating one expression in every sentence.

[00:30:11]>> It's about choosing the right expression for the situation.

[00:30:15]>> Now, it's time for our final quiz.

[00:30:18]>> Listeners, answer out loud before I do.

[00:30:21]Number one, your vacation ended badly and you're still disappointed. Complete the sentence. I'm still trying to blank what happened.

[00:30:31]>> I'm still trying to get over what happened.

[00:30:33]>> Correct. Number two, you have a difficult exam tomorrow and want to finish it quickly. Which phrase fits?

[00:30:41]>> I just want to get it over with.

[00:30:43]>> Correct. Number three, your friend is amazed by how much your city has changed. What can they say?

[00:30:50]>> I can't get over how much the city has changed.

[00:30:54]>> Excellent. Number four, you're currently experiencing a stressful week. Which sentence is better? I'm trying to get through this week or I'm trying to get over this week?

[00:31:05]>> I'm trying to get through this week.

[00:31:07]>> Right. Number five, the stressful week has ended but you still feel exhausted.

[00:31:14]>> I'm trying to get over the stress of last week.

[00:31:17]>> Perfect. Number six, two friends want to stop arguing and repair their friendship.

[00:31:22]>> They need to get past the argument and talk honestly.

[00:31:26]>> Great.

[00:31:27]>> Can I make one final mini story using all the expressions?

[00:31:31]>> Go ahead.

[00:31:32]>> Last month, I had an important job interview. I was extremely nervous but I got through it. Afterward, I couldn't get over one answer I gave because it sounded terrible. I kept replaying it in my mind. A few days later, I decided to get past the embarrassment and move on.

[00:31:51]I didn't get the job but I learned from the experience. Now, I'm preparing for another interview and I just want to get the nervous waiting over with.

[00:32:01]>> Very good. One small correction at the end.

[00:32:04]>> What should I say?

[00:32:06]>> I just want to get the waiting over with sounds better. Nervous waiting is understandable but it isn't necessary.

[00:32:13][clears throat] >> So, the improved version is now I'm preparing for another interview and I just want to get the waiting over with.

[00:32:22]>> Exactly. That was a strong example because you used each phrase for a different purpose.

[00:32:28]>> Let's recap today's main lessons.

[00:32:30]>> Use get over when someone recovers from an illness. I'm getting over a cold.

[00:32:36]>> Use it when emotional pain becomes weaker. She's getting over the breakup.

[00:32:41]>> Use it for fears and personal difficulties. He got over his fear of driving.

[00:32:47]>> Use I can't get over when something surprises or impresses you. I can't get over how beautiful the view is.

[00:32:55]>> Remember that get over it can sound rude, especially when someone is seriously hurt or upset.

[00:33:01]>> And don't confuse get it over with with get over it.

[00:33:06]>> Before we go, answer this question in the comments. What's something difficult you've gotten over and what helped you recover?

[00:33:13]>> Try to write a complete sentence such as, I got over my fear of speaking English by practicing a little every day.

[00:33:21]>> Subscribe to Speak English Fluently, like this episode, and share it with someone who wants to understand real everyday English.

[00:33:29]>> Keep practicing, keep making mistakes, and don't let one difficult moment stop you.

[00:33:35]>> You may not get over every challenge immediately, but every small step helps you move forward.

[00:33:41]>> And if today's lesson felt difficult, don't worry.

[00:33:45]>> With practice, you'll get over that, too.