“You Look Happier…Thanks, I Stopped Dating Black Men”, Then Why Is Marriage 0.5%?

Hinzugefügt: 2026-06-05

[00:00:26]So, there's a post by a woman that said that she's much more happier. here because she stopped dating black men.

[00:00:31]What's the problem? Men get on here, you know, all the time and say, you know, that other women are better than our own. So, what what do we what are we complaining about? Black women are more race loyal anyway. They're least likely to date out than black men anyway. Go look at Pew Research studies. I'm not making this stuff up. Black men are twice more likely to date out than black women. Black women always want a black man. Black men don't are the ones who don't cherish their own freaking community because they're the ones who who date out more.

[00:01:03]>> Let's talk about it.

[00:01:19]You've all seen it. You look happier.

[00:01:21]That's because I stopped dating black men. Key word, dating. Not because I found a loving husband, not because I'm in a stable, committed relationship, but just because I stopped dating black men.

[00:01:32]That alone tells you this isn't about love. It's not about family. It's not about legacy. It's about image. It's about bitterness. It's about performing for social media applause. But here's what's even more embarrassing. While some black women are proudly broadcasting their preference of white men or other races, the majority of those men are not responding with marriage proposals. They're not stepping up. They're not committing. In many cases, they're not even swiping right.

[00:01:57]>> Studies show that black women and Asian men are the least desirable when it comes to online dating.

[00:02:05]>> Why do you think that is the case?

[00:02:07]>> Um, I don't know why they think we're the least desirable or like the most hot. That's insane. What kind of study was this? And who did the study?

[00:02:13]>> And when they do show interest, it's often rooted in fetish and not foundation.

[00:02:18]>> I do not hate pink people.

[00:02:21]I just dislike that pink people do.

[00:02:25]Like that whole thing with, you know, the pink dudes, you know, telling me, "Oh, yeah, you know, I like, you know, black women, too." Whole time, a lot of them don't like black women.

[00:02:38]They might be sexually attracted to black women, but they don't like them.

[00:02:42]That's what a fetish is right there.

[00:02:44]Like, for real. Like, you are sexually attracted to a person, but you really ain't trying to have no relationship with them. you just want to try something.

[00:02:51]>> I've quoted this book before, but I want you guys to go take a look at it. The Dating Divide, where white men were interviewed about their views on black women, and the results were plainly clear. And I quote, "Given that black women get very little interest from white men, experiences like Deborah suggests that even poutry interest may be driven by puran interest, white men we interview confirmed the notion that black women were both highly sexual and unstable for longlasting relationships.

[00:03:18]Translation: They'll sleep with you, but they don't see you as wife material.

[00:03:22]That's not empowerment. That's exploitation. That's not progress.

[00:03:26]That's settling for less under the illusion of more.

[00:03:29]>> You know who has the lowest divorce rate and the overall happiest marriage? Black women with white men.

[00:03:39]Do you know who has the highest divorce rate?

[00:03:45]Black men and everybody.

[00:03:48]But this is the crown of the study. A white man and a black woman are 44% less likely to get divorced. H pretty interesting, isn't it? My sister, >> every time we talk about black women's dating prospects and the fact that black women marry outside of their race far less than any other group of men and women in America, here comes the same old rebuttal. When we do marry white men, our divorce rates are lower. So clearly, we're not the problem. And without fail, someone will drop a link or mention the 2008 study that's titled, "But will it last?" Marital instability among interracial and same-sex couples.

[00:04:28]Let me go ahead and break this down because it's time that the black community stop using this one outdated study as a deflection shield. It's misleading. It's incomplete. And worst of all, it's irrelevant in today's context. Let's start with what the study actually said. Yes. According to the 2008 article published in Journal of Marriage and Family, black women who married white men in the early 1990s had slightly lower divorce rates than white women married to white men. But what they never mentioned is that the study focused on marriages formed between 1990 and 1994. It followed those marriages for about 10 years and the entire interracial data set, especially black women/white men pairings, was very small in comparison to the others. So, what are we really talking about here? A couple thousand niche cases from a time when interracial marriage was still taboo, highly stigmatized, and far less common than it is today. So, yes, the few couples who did marry across racial lines back then were likely highly selective, deeply intentional, and determined to make it work. But that has zero bearing on today's interracial marriage market, where dating is casual, disposable, and often driven by vibes and algorithm suggestions. not values and commitment. So, no, quoting this 30-year-old data doesn't prove that black women magically have better marriages when they date white men. It just proves that some did okay in the 1990s. Let's continue the conversation.

[00:05:57]When only a tiny percentage of black women were marrying white men in the 1990s, somewhere around two to three% of all black female marriages, you're dealing with the sample that was unusually education focused, often from elite, upper middle class backgrounds, and extremely motivated to make the relationship work despite social pressures. Translation, these weren't average couples. They were the exception, not the rule. So trying to apply that success rate to the broader population today is like saying because elite marathon runners don't have joint pain, everyone should start running 20 miles a day. Make sense? But let's talk about what's happening now in the 2020s.

[00:06:35]Interracial marriage is far more common today. We have millions of interracial couples across every combination. And what do we see? Divorce patterns are evening out. The unique success that was attributed to early interracial marriages has disappeared because now people marry across racial lines for the same reasons they marry anyone else. Not love, values, and resilience, but convenience, attraction, and access. And when we look at more recent research, what do we find? Interracial marriages have higher divorce rates overall. The myth that white men provide some special marital haven for black women no longer supported. But let's go even deeper.

[00:07:14]Pause. Let's say just for argument sake that this outdated study still held true today. Let's say black women really do have better marriages when they marry white men. But here's the million-dollar question. Why are so few white men marrying black women? Because despite all the girl boss rhetoric, swirling encouragement, and Tik Tok talk, Jack talk very well.

[00:07:36]>> The actual numbers haven't changed much.

[00:07:38]According to Pew and Census data, only about 4% of married black women are married to white men. Meanwhile, 21% of married black men are married to non-black women, mostly white. But that's actually nothing to celebrate because black men still marry black women at a 79% clip. So again, if it's so wonderful, why are white men not lining up to put a ring on black women?

[00:08:00]Why are the marriage rates between white men and black women still so low? Why are black women still the least likely to marry out of any major racial or ethnic group of women? You can't keep citing a dusty 2008 article and ignore 2025 reality. Now, I know some will say, "We can date white men. We're desired."

[00:08:18]Let's be clear, desire is not commitment. Yes, plenty of men of all races are willing to sleep with black women. That's not the issue. But what we're talking about here is marriage, long-term commitment, family, legacy.

[00:08:32]And the truth is, most non-black men are not selecting black women as wives.

[00:08:38]Period. So, if you're a black woman who truly wants to marry a white man and not just weaponize his hypothetical existence to insult black men, then you have to ask, "What kind of woman do white men actually marry? What values do they want? How are we showing up in the market culturally, emotionally, behaviorally, and does it align with what those men are looking for?" So, let's call this out plainly. Quoting this study isn't about interracial love.

[00:09:02]It's a subtle jab at black men. See, you're the problem. we do just fine without you. But here's the irony. Black men are doing just fine, too. In fact, they're the most interraially married group of men outside of Asian-Americans.

[00:09:16]So, if white men are so great and black men are so toxic, explain why black men are being chosen by women across all races, while black women, despite higher degrees and social praise, are not being chosen at the same rates. This isn't an insult. It's a wake-up call. If you are a black woman who wants to marry outside your race, do it. Nobody's stopping you.

[00:09:35]No one's policing your love, but don't stand on an outdated, cherrypicked article from 2008 and act like it proves black men are the reason you're single in 2025. The question isn't why aren't black men stepping up. The real question is why aren't white men stepping forward. And maybe, just maybe, the answer isn't in the study. Maybe it's in the mirror. And to the black men and women who keep pariting that 2008 study, you all should be ashamed. You're leaning on a study from the early 1990s based on a tiny sample of handpicked interracial couples as if it speaks for 2025. You ignore the social media age, the swiping culture, the massive increase in casual interracial relationships, and the flatout reality that most non-black men are still not marrying black women in large numbers.

[00:10:22]In fact, let's put the numbers on the table. At one point, only 0.3% of white men were married to black women. As the most recent US census data in 2015, that number has slightly risen to just 0.5%.

[00:10:37]For all the talk about swirling, leveling up, and dating outside the race, 99.5% of white men are still marrying women who are not black. That's not systemic racism. That's market behavior. And in many cases, it's a result of an ethnic image that black women as a collective still haven't addressed. If black women want to marry more, period, whether it's to black men, white men, or anyone else, then the question becomes, what needs to change for you to be perceived as suitable for marriage by any race of men. And no, this has nothing to do with beauty. Black women are beautiful.

[00:11:13]That's not the issue. The issue is image, attitude, behavior, public persona, and perception.

[00:11:19]>> I think based off of how we're viewed in the media. So like if you look at a lot of like TV shows, the black women sometimes were cast as like fixins.

[00:11:29]We're cast as like angry black women. We have all these the people that they put sometimes in front of the camera is not always representative of the entire population, but we are judged based off of that.

[00:11:39]>> You cannot simultaneously demand commitment while celebrating the very traits that men across the board say they avoid when seeking wise. If men of all races say they value cooperation over confrontation, modesty over hypersexuality, peace over provocation, femininity over masculine energy, you have to look in the mirror and collectively ask, "How are we showing up in the world?" When the ethnic image of black women is dominated by combative attitudes, public celebrations of promiscuity, loud hypersexual performances on Tik Tok and IG, constant declarations that we don't need men. You don't need a man for nothing. You don't need a man for nothing. You don't need a man to make you happy. You don't need a man to complete you. You don't need a man to start your life. You don't need a man to travel. You don't need all of that. Having him adds nothing to you.

[00:12:32]You do not need a man to define you. A man should be an option, not a definition. You with me?

[00:12:40]>> Then don't be surprised when men of all races see you as a good time, not a good wife. And yes, that image is something you control. It's something you can fix.

[00:12:51]And until you do, the same outcomes will continue. Overlooked, underchosen, but overexposed. And before I go, let me address one more narrative. You can date whoever you want, just don't talk bad about black women. My question is, or what? What is the black community actually going to do to a man who says that he stopped dating black women because of his negative experiences?

[00:13:13]Nothing. And truthfully, I think the black men who go out of their way to publicly degrade black women while dating outside their race are corny as hell. But if that's how they feel, then black women should take that as an automatic disqualifier and keep it moving. But let's stop pretending like the backlash only happens when someone is disrespectful. Look at the receipts.

[00:13:32]Jay Ellis from the HBO show Insecure, Child's Gambino, Amari Hardwick, Mike Coulter, >> saw you on Wendy Williams. When you came out, the girls was cheering >> and then she she showed a picture of your wife and it got wife and they was like, "Yeah." Yeah. Um, and >> how do you take that?

[00:13:51]>> You know, here's the thing. I don't And I listen, I love my sisters. I don't know. You know, people always go, "Man, that's this type." Listen, just because if somebody called her sister walking around with a 6'7 brother, is that her type as the only kind? Or next week she saw him walking with a short guy, a Spanish guy. Do we have to have a type?

[00:14:09]My thing is I'm a human. I'm a human being. I look at people from character and what's inside. I I'm not into the like I'm look. Yes. Physically, that's that's one thing, but you got to be on the same page. So, I met my wife and I was struggling and I was in grad school.

[00:14:22]So, listen, she stuck with me. I'm 16 years. It's a long way.

[00:14:25]>> She was shooting in the gym.

[00:14:26]>> Yes. And she was, you know, she was she was with me and she's held me up many times and I've held her up before, you know. So, people don't understand like when it comes to like, you know, being with somebody long term is way more than skin color that's going to that's going to make it work.

[00:14:38]>> All black men who never said a single negative word about black women and still got cooked just for having white wives. So, you all can get rid of that whole you can date who you want, just don't disrespect us line. Because in practice, that's not what happens. The moment a black man dates out, regardless of his tone, it becomes a public trial.

[00:14:57]And again, or what, because that question has yet to be answered with anything more than keyboard outrage and misplaced resentment. So, to wrap this all up, stop quoting that dusty study.

[00:15:08]Stop blaming black men for your dating decisions, and stop acting like interracial dating is some upgrade when the outcome for most isn't marriage.

[00:15:16]It's visibility without viability. If you want marriage from any race, then focus less on race and more on reputation. Because men don't marry problems, they marry peace. They marry femininity. They marry image. And if you have to go viral to convince the world that you're happy, you're probably not.

[00:15:35]Peace.

[00:15:52]Bye-bye.