Dad Jokes and Sarcasm: Inside British Comedy

Added: 2026-05-10

[00:00:00]If you think Thursdays are the most depressing days, well, wait two days because it will be a Saturday right there. That slightly confusing, slightly clever moment is exactly what we're talking about in today's episode of the English Right Now podcast. Puns in British English. Word play, double meanings, and jokes that make you think for just a second longer. This is an English learning podcast. I'm British English teacher Roy and joining me is my dear friend Rob. Hello.

[00:00:32]>> Bonjouro.

[00:00:34]>> Didn't you say you were doing Italian?

[00:00:36]>> Why not? Yeah, do Italian today. Um, you could give people a piece of advice.

[00:00:42]>> Oh, very good.

[00:00:45]>> That's all I had.

[00:00:46]>> I need to I need to uh pasta on that one. No, that didn't work.

[00:00:51]>> No, it's terrible. So, today today we're talking exactly about that. We're talking about uh puns and jokes and we're going to be explaining them. And I should let you know that my wife is actually the one that sent us the list of jokes. She sent 10 to me and 10 to to Rob. Uh some of them I actually edited and added my own for a few of them. Um but yeah, so neither of us seen most of these jokes and we certainly haven't seen each other's jokes, have we?

[00:01:16]>> Absolutely not. This is a real test.

[00:01:19]>> Real test of humor. Um so a pun is usually kind of a word play. It's like a clever usage of language. They're not necessarily laugh out loud moments like that one at the start. You know, it technically, you know, Thursday is a sad day, but Saturday is a sadder day. You know, it sounds the same. Um, we sometimes call them dad jokes. Are you are you good at dad jokes?

[00:01:44]>> Yeah, I'm quite spontaneous with my dad jokes. I can't really plan a dad joke.

[00:01:48]It sort of happens in a particular situation and I will say something that's really naff, you know, bad, awful, >> low quality.

[00:01:58]>> Yeah. Everyone will groan and go, "Oh," rather than uh laugh out loud.

[00:02:04]>> Well, this isn't this isn't a comedy special, so we're okay. You know, we we we're aiming to make each other laugh.

[00:02:08]I've got 10 jokes. You've got 10 jokes.

[00:02:10]We're going to see what I haven't seen your jokes. You haven't seen mine. Uh, we're going to try and make each other laugh, but the real purpose is teaching English. So, we're going to explain them as well, which makes a joke even funnier in my opinion. [laughter] [snorts] >> Okay.

[00:02:25]>> Do you reckon? I think I think when you have to explain a joke, then it's not a good joke. But anyway, for the purposes of Yeah, for the purpose of teaching English, yes, we will explain the jokes.

[00:02:35][laughter] >> Maybe maybe you can explain my joke and I'll explain yours. Yeah.

[00:02:39]>> Uh, if if you know.

[00:02:42]>> There we go. All right. Let's let's crack on with the first joke. Are you ready for this?

[00:02:47]>> I'm ready.

[00:02:48]>> Okay. It's a bit of a sad story to be honest. My friend called me earlier to say his four-year-old wasn't coping well with his divorce. I >> said, "I'm really sorry. I didn't know your four-year-old was married."

[00:03:01]>> Um, >> yeah. Yeah, that's not very high on the laugh on there.

[00:03:08]>> OH, NO. MY WIFE found that hilarious.

[00:03:12]>> [snorts] >> She's giggling.

[00:03:15]>> Yeah. Good. Good. I'm glad somebody found it funny. [laughter] >> So, yeah. My four-year-old wasn't coping well with his divorce. I said, "I didn't know your four-year-old was married."

[00:03:25]You know? So, it's the idea that we've It's It's a bit of like the idea of the stupidity, isn't it? That we misunderstand something so serious. So, he's saying that his child wasn't coping well with his divorce, but I said, "Oh, I didn't know your four-year-old was married." So yeah, not not my best start according to Rob. Let's go for your first joke then.

[00:03:43]>> Well, I had to I had to think about that. Okay. Yeah. Penny eventually dropped. The penny dropped late as in Yeah.

[00:03:49]>> So it's it's like the idea of subverting expectations by saying I didn't know your four-year-old was married. I've got a couple of these sort of jokes, so this could go really well for me.

[00:03:59]>> Okay.

[00:04:00]>> To cope, by the way, means to to be okay with something, doesn't it? To cope.

[00:04:04]>> How are you coping?

[00:04:06]>> Coping. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. I've had to write mine Yeah, I've had to write mine down, I'm afraid, because I can't just I'm not as funny as you, Roy. I can't just bring a joke out top of my head.

[00:04:15]>> Yeah, I'm definitely not reading them in front of me right now, though.

[00:04:18][laughter] >> Are you ready for this, then? Here we go.

[00:04:20]>> Go on.

[00:04:22]>> I've started investing in stocks.

[00:04:25][clears throat] Beef, chicken, vegetable, that kind of thing.

[00:04:30]>> Stock.

[00:04:31]>> And you thought mine was bad. Okay.

[00:04:34]Would you like to explain that?

[00:04:37]>> Yeah. Okay. So, normally you would invest in stock as in stock val stuff on the stock market.

[00:04:43]>> Stock market.

[00:04:44]>> Yeah. The stock market. But here I'm investing in stock.

[00:04:49]>> Another another type of stock are the sort of like cubes you get to make uh what do you call it? You know, like gravy.

[00:04:56]>> It's like a beef. It's like a beef flavored water, isn't it? Beef flavored liquid or chicken flavored liquid.

[00:05:02]Chicken stock. And it's often made from the meat itself, from the fats from the meat.

[00:05:06]>> That's right. But you can get them in cubes as well. And it just flavors food.

[00:05:10]>> Yeah.

[00:05:11]>> So, it's vegetables as well. My wife wanted to to chip in there that we have vegetable stock as well for those that don't eat meat.

[00:05:19]>> Absolutely. Yeah.

[00:05:20]>> Yeah. So, you're right. It's a kind of juice that you can put to give your your food more flavor. That's stock. That's one meaning of stock. Therefore, it's a play on words, isn't it? We're we're confusing one stock with another kind of stock. [laughter] Brilliant, brilliant. This is a great start. I bet I imagine now everybody's just tuning out of YouTube. We should have started off with a big hook. Number 19 will be the best. Um, but okay, number two. Second joke for me.

[00:05:47]>> Uh, somebody accused my dog of chasing people on bikes. I said, "That's ridiculous. She doesn't even own a bike." [laughter] >> Yes. Got to laugh.

[00:05:57]>> Yes.

[00:05:57]>> Okay. Little little bit funnier that one. Yeah, I get it. It made me think your dog was riding chasing people on bike on a bike.

[00:06:05]>> Yeah.

[00:06:07]>> So, the idea is, you know, if you're chasing people on bikes, it sound like the people are on bikes. But the way that I interpreted it and the joke was that they thought that my dog was on a bike.

[00:06:18]>> Yeah.

[00:06:19]>> Yeah.

[00:06:19]>> Which but it just goes to show even if it's not a joke, that can be misinterpreted, can't it? If you said your dog was chasing people on bikes, >> um you might think, "Oh, >> yeah."

[00:06:30]My my first two a clever usage of it actually it looks the way English could be misinterpreted. You're absolutely right like saying on bikes it doesn't give a necessary you know you are expected to take that leap that a four-year-old isn't married and a dog wouldn't ride a bike but that's why it's funny as well because you highlight the I suppose inadequacy of the language.

[00:06:51]>> Yeah.

[00:06:52]>> Yes. That's right. Good. It's not perfect. Anyway, good. You tickled my funny bone a bit there. Thank you.

[00:06:57][laughter] It's the only thing I'll be tickling today, Rob.

[00:07:01]>> Oh, yeah. Okay. Whoa. Right. Are we ready for the next one? Okay.

[00:07:04]>> I am.

[00:07:06]>> Right. This is uh about King Arthur. And the roundest night at King Arthur's table was circumerence.

[00:07:16]Circumference.

[00:07:18]My wife's giggling as well a little bit over here. So, um Yeah.

[00:07:22]>> Yeah. Bit of a mathematical joke that one.

[00:07:24]>> Yeah. Yeah. I like that one. I quite enjoy that.

[00:07:28]It's the way you kind of reluctantly gave the punchline as well that entertained me the most part. The way you went, "Yeah, this this." Yeah, there we go. There it is.

[00:07:36]>> Would you like to, you know, explain that joke?

[00:07:40]>> King Arthur sat with his knights at the round table. That's how the story goes, isn't it? The knights of the round table.

[00:07:46]>> So, here we are. We're basically saying that one of the uh one of the knights was circumference.

[00:07:52][snorts] Again, sort of play on name there, but circumference means in mathematical terms all the way round, doesn't it?

[00:07:59]>> Yeah. For the sort of outside edge of a circle. So, yes, round is another word we use for sort of a circular shape. So, a round table had a circular shape. And then >> sir, we had a lot of s that's a knight.

[00:08:11]Saggalahad, salancelot, sersl I want to say, and the others. Um, and then circumference. It sounds like a knight's name, but it's also the outside edge of a circle. I like I like that one.

[00:08:25]>> I like that one. Okay.

[00:08:27]>> Yeah.

[00:08:27]>> Right. Still good.

[00:08:29]>> Still needed some explaining, didn't it?

[00:08:30]Maybe it's the way I tell them. It's all in the delivery of the joke, isn't it?

[00:08:34]>> Yeah. It's your fault, not mine. Um, >> yeah. And there's some jokes that we can't really put on this list because they're probably not polite enough. Anyway, never mind. Okay, number three for me. My wife asked me, "Have you seen the dog bowl?" I said, "I didn't know the dog could."

[00:08:54][laughter] >> As in play cricket. Yes.

[00:08:59]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:09:00]>> Yeah.

[00:09:01]>> That's good, too. That's good, too.

[00:09:02]Again, play on words, the word bowl, isn't it? Yeah.

[00:09:05]>> Yeah. Yeah. So, a bowl is the thing that the dog eats out of or drinks out of, but it's also the action of of throwing a ball in cricket. So, it's like saying, "I didn't know the dog could bowl."

[00:09:18]>> Yeah.

[00:09:19]>> You haven't seen the dog bowl, have you?

[00:09:20]So, you haven't seen the dog bowl, so you never will.

[00:09:23]>> No. No. Never will. Never will. Or ride bikes.

[00:09:28]>> Good. Very good.

[00:09:29]>> Another K9 joke there. We like that. Um, right. Next one for you. Here we go. I hope this makes you laugh. I used to play the piano by ear, but now I use my hands.

[00:09:42]I've got the worst THING IS I'VE GOT THE SAME JOKE on my list.

[00:09:46]>> Oh, have you? [laughter] >> Well, we I'm going to change it up. I'm going to use one of my uh from my imagination, but that's very >> So, let me let me do it one more time.

[00:09:55]>> Nothing more because I like because it's my joke as well.

[00:09:58]>> I'll say it one more time. I used to play the piano by ear, but now I use my hands. [laughter] >> Yeah.

[00:10:08]>> So, yeah. Would you? So to play the piano by ear basically means you listen to a song. If you play something by ear, it's like you listen to the music and you can play it automatically. Uh but it's also like this is your ear and then you play it with your hands.

[00:10:23]>> Yeah.

[00:10:23]>> So yeah, a literal a literal meaning of playing by ear would be yes. Using your ear to go ding ding ding ding.

[00:10:29]>> Yeah, you're right. We use the expression play by ear means playing without any written music, isn't it?

[00:10:33]Just playing top of your head. But now I use my hands. Wow.

[00:10:37]>> I'm going to have to come up with a I'm going to come up with a bonus one for you.

[00:10:41]>> Okay.

[00:10:41]>> So, uh I bought some new shoes off a drug dealer.

[00:10:46]>> I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.

[00:10:49][laughter] >> Yeah, I like that one. That's That's quite Especially if you just made that one up. That's even funnier. But uh it's one I knew. It's one I knew from my from my repertoire of party jokes. [laughter] >> Would you like to explain that joke?

[00:11:06]Okay, we got a few drug references there, but also relating to shoes. So, yeah, being laced. Laced you can be sort of >> So, those those strings that you put in the shoes, aren't you your shoelaces?

[00:11:18]>> That's it. Strings shoes.

[00:11:21]>> Laced can also mean uh something has had drugs added to it. So, we talk about laced with drugs, for example. Uh so, it's it's like a play on the idea of a drug dealer selling shoes and like that.

[00:11:32]And then I said, "And I've been tripping all day.

[00:11:36]Yes. Again, tripping the effects of having drugs. You can trip. Yep. But also, you can actually physically trip up, can't you? If you fall over something. Yeah. Yeah. This idea of the shoelaces aren't very good and I'm falling over. It's a double meaning.

[00:11:49]It's very clever. I think that's very cle I I think that's very clever. It's my joke.

[00:11:54]>> Yeah, of course. No, I do like a good play on words like that. I I do. Anyway, that shoe seller clearly had a good soul, though, didn't he? Yeah, I think.

[00:12:02]>> Oh, >> he had soul.

[00:12:04]>> Go on. You got to explain that one now.

[00:12:05]Any joke you make, you got to explain.

[00:12:07]>> Oh, no. Don't put me on the spot. Well, soul, of course, >> the soul is the bottom of the shoe.

[00:12:12]>> Yeah. It's just kind And soul is also this kind of spiritual kind of essence of what we are without our bodies. Uh, you know.

[00:12:20]>> Yeah.

[00:12:21]>> Yeah.

[00:12:21]>> Very good. Do you want another one?

[00:12:23]>> And if somebody's a good soul, by the way, it means they're a good person.

[00:12:25]You're a good soul.

[00:12:27]>> Yeah. Yeah. I want another one. Yes.

[00:12:30]>> Okay. Okay, next on my list, I've got [laughter] Okay.

[00:12:35]Uh, I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

[00:12:44][laughter] >> I love the fact as well you laughed at your own joke before you told it. That was the best thing.

[00:12:49]>> I had to read it.

[00:12:50]>> That's very, very good. That's That's very good. Very good. Yeah. Uh, so some people like they do use pencils to draw their eyebrows. And if if they're drawing it too high, they could look surprised. And the fact that you said you're drawing them too high made her look surprised. It's very good. Very clever.

[00:13:08]>> Very clever.

[00:13:09]>> Okay, I'll see if I can I don't think I'm going to top that one with this. This is terrible.

[00:13:15]>> Okay, >> I went to London and I tried to catch fog. Missed.

[00:13:22]It's the pause. IT'S THE >> PAUSE.

[00:13:24]>> YEAH. YEAH. WELL, OKAY. YEAH, I had I did to think about >> I tried to catch fog in London. Mist.

[00:13:31]>> Yeah. No, I get mist is another kind of form of fog, isn't it? That sort of >> Yeah.

[00:13:36]>> But it's also like I tried to catch it >> physically and I missed it.

[00:13:42]>> Yeah. Okay, I get that bit. It was the It was I went to London to catch fog. I was thinking, why would you go to London to catch fog?

[00:13:50]>> I don't know. It's a joke. Yeah, [laughter] it's I I think we, you know, you didn't like that one, but yeah, it's the idea of mist is another type of fog. There's, you know, slight differences there, but you went you tried to catch it. Catch can also mean to see, doesn't it? You know, catch a film, catch a >> catch a show, these kind of things for America, I suppose. But yeah, um >> yeah, and yeah. Yeah, it's terrible, isn't it?

[00:14:16]>> I mean, do you know what >> I was saying? Mist the actual kind of weather condition of of you know cloud and stuff. Mist is spelled differently though, isn't it? From when you >> M I S T and M I S E D. Yeah.

[00:14:29]>> Yeah.

[00:14:29]>> Yeah.

[00:14:30]>> That wasn't a good one. I'm going to get you with a knock-knock joke at the end, I think.

[00:14:33]>> Oh, well they are traditional.

[00:14:34]>> That's going to be my highlight of this.

[00:14:37]>> Go on. Yeah. They're the classic old school jokes.

[00:14:41]>> What I love What I love was the pause.

[00:14:44]It was just you working it out going like that's awful. That's terrible. It It was painful.

[00:14:50]>> I'm glad this isn't a party. I'm glad nobody's watching this apart from us.

[00:14:55]>> Okay, moving on to another hilarious joke. Sid spplitting joke. This one, uh, I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

[00:15:06]It was soul destroying.

[00:15:09][laughter] >> It's very similar to your offthe cuff joke, isn't it? Um, >> that's quite good. That's quite good.

[00:15:16]Although technically, why would you destroy a soul if you're going to recycle it? Anyway, that's true.

[00:15:20]>> Not think too deeply. Yeah.

[00:15:22]>> So, the sole is the bottom part of a shoe or your foot.

[00:15:26]>> So, if you're recycling uh shoes, you've got to change the the the bottom part of the sole. And again, it's that spelling s o l e and s o u l.

[00:15:38]Um soul is also your spirit. And if something is soul destroying, it means it kind of horrific. horrific. You know, you go to a film and it's awful. You go, "Oh, that film is absolutely soul destroying." It's kind of just destroys your essence.

[00:15:53]>> Yeah, definitely.

[00:15:54]>> I won't ask if we've ever Yeah, I won't ask you what what what do you think is soul destroying? We'll move on. It's a terrible question, but I'm going to tell you my next joke. Are you ready for this one? [snorts] This is >> I will go on.

[00:16:08]>> It's It's over time how we started off and I'm like, "This is going to be great." And now we're like, "These are painful."

[00:16:16]Right.

[00:16:17]The guy who invented the door knocker, he got a Nobel Prize.

[00:16:23][laughter] >> I like that. I like that one.

[00:16:27]>> Take it. Have it. Use it with your family cuz these >> Yeah.

[00:16:33]>> There you go. Do you want to explain it?

[00:16:35]>> Yeah. So, >> so the guy who invented the door knocker. So that's the kind of physical thing you use to knock on a door, you know, >> to tell somebody you're there. That's a knocker.

[00:16:45]>> The other thing you can have, of course, is a doorbell where you ring go ding dong. But he hasn't invented that, has he? He's invented the knocker.

[00:16:52]>> Therefore, he gets a Nobell Prize.

[00:16:55][laughter] >> Yeah. Which sounds like the Nobel Prize for peace that kind of jazz. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

[00:17:00]>> It sounds like no bell, no doorbell prize. Brilliant. I quite like that one.

[00:17:04]I'm glad you like that one.

[00:17:04]>> You got you've got an audience there.

[00:17:06]How's that go with Lou? What's she thinking about that one?

[00:17:09]>> She's fallen asleep, I think.

[00:17:11]>> Oh dear. [laughter] >> She's fine. She's She's left now. She's here. She's here. She is giggling. She's doing this kind of sort of Yeah. hand over the mouth. Stop.

[00:17:22]>> These are very British jokes. Yes. I suppose because of the language, I guess, aren't they? So, um, >> well, a second. I mean, it's it's a very good test of fluency, I think.

[00:17:32]So painful that >> Luc Luciana just said I think she thinks it's so painful that it becomes funny.

[00:17:38]Uh you should have your own podcast over here.

[00:17:42]>> Take over.

[00:17:42]>> That's that's the essence about dad jokes, isn't it? They are so painful, so awful you have to laugh.

[00:17:49]>> But they can be quite tricky because it revol it needs a uh a second level of language, doesn't it? It needs you to be able to jump from one word to another word and have a second meaning and then translate back in the time. It's It's quite a test of fluency.

[00:18:02]>> Very good. Let's try this one then, shall we? I just got fired from the keyboard factory. They said I wasn't putting in enough shifts.

[00:18:13]That's quite funny. Actually, the keyboard factory. Yeah, [laughter] >> shifts.

[00:18:20]>> It took me a second one there.

[00:18:22]>> Go on, you go on. Explain that one.

[00:18:24]Okay, so the shift key is that key with the arrow going up or sometimes with a written the shift in. So if you're making a keyboard, it needs two shift buttons. So if you don't put enough shifts onto the keyboard, it's a rubbish keyboard. So you lose your job. And also a shift is your working day, isn't it?

[00:18:41]Your 9 to5, your pattern of work. So if you're not putting in the shifts at work, that means you're not working enough. You're uh you know Yeah.

[00:18:49][laughter] >> But in this case, it was keyboard missing. Yeah. Faulty keyboard. Yeah.

[00:18:54]Yeah, I liked it.

[00:18:56]>> Very good. Very good.

[00:19:00]Okay, so the next one. I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. [laughter] >> Yeah, that's clever. That's clever.

[00:19:11]Yeah, >> I like that. So, yeah.

[00:19:14]>> Yeah. So, the sun goes down at sunset, doesn't it? And then it comes up at sunrise. But we sometimes call sunrise dawn when when the when the early morning when the the sun is rising uh in the sky or appears to be rising uh and then we say that's dawn. So then it dawns on me. It's the sun comes out.

[00:19:33]Where's the sun all night and then it dawns on me. Um but and then it's something dawn on you.

[00:19:40]You suddenly realize it, don't you?

[00:19:43]>> Yeah. Yeah. Dawned on Yeah. It's dawned on me that these jokes aren't very funny. Yeah.

[00:19:50]It dawns on me. Yeah. So, I I realized that these aren't funny at all, are they? But yeah. [laughter] Yeah.

[00:19:57]>> But no, no, that's a good one. I'll give I'll give you um five out of 10 for that one. That was quite good.

[00:20:03]>> Oh, is it my turn again, isn't it?

[00:20:05]RIGHT.

[00:20:05]>> YES. I'M JUST GIGGLING AWAY. I'M GIGGLING away because I'm thinking of this not joke I need to tell you at the end.

[00:20:10]>> Oh, save it for the end. Save for the end. Okay. Right. Uh I wanted to become a history teacher, but there was no future in it.

[00:20:18]>> [laughter] >> Get [snorts] it? History future.

[00:20:21]>> Yeah.

[00:20:22]>> Yeah. [laughter] >> Oh dear.

[00:20:26]>> So that one obviously history teacher you're [snorts] teaching about the past, the his history, you know, things that happened in the past. Yeah.

[00:20:33]>> So this history teacher saying there's no future in it.

[00:20:37]>> So yeah, >> in one in one way meaning there's no career path. There's no future in teaching history.

[00:20:42]>> But the kind of literal meaning I suppose is there is no future in history. It's all about the past, isn't it?

[00:20:50]>> These jokes, they're getting painful.

[00:20:52]So, yeah. So, yeah, there's no future in history because you're talking about the past. There's no future in the profession because Yeah, exactly.

[00:21:02]>> terrible. And I've got another terrible one coming up for you.

[00:21:05]>> Okay.

[00:21:06]>> I once had a job at a calendar factory.

[00:21:09]Got fired for taking a day off.

[00:21:12][laughter] >> Oh, yeah. Very good. That's a bit like the keyboard one, isn't it?

[00:21:16]>> To the That's what That's what made me stall on the keyboard one. I was like, "Oh my goodness, is that another one?"

[00:21:20]>> Yeah.

[00:21:21]>> Yeah.

[00:21:22]>> That's good.

[00:21:23]>> So, yeah. Do you want to explain that for us?

[00:21:25]>> Yeah. Okay. So, in calendars, obviously, you're putting all the days of the week and the months and the whole year onto a onto a calendar.

[00:21:33]But if you take a day off, well, one meaning can be you take a day off work and have a day off. But here you're saying, I took the day off. You took a day off the calendar. Ruined the calendar. It doesn't make any sense anymore. Therefore, you got fired.

[00:21:46][laughter] >> Which day would you remove from the week?

[00:21:50]>> Uh, I'd definitely take off Mondays. I don't like Mondays.

[00:21:53]>> Would you?

[00:21:54]>> Not Saturday because it's a Saturday.

[00:21:57][laughter] >> No, I'd add a Saturday on actually. But anyway, that's another story.

[00:22:01]>> I was debated genuinely like Monday. I understand because it's the first day of the week. This is no joke. This is my rationale. Wednesday is the middle of the week. So that's got a purpose.

[00:22:14]Thursday is almost there. Friday is the end of the working week. And then Saturday and Sunday are the weekend. So what on God's green earth is Tuesday?

[00:22:23]What is Tuesday?

[00:22:25]>> Yeah. Okay.

[00:22:26]>> Yeah.

[00:22:27]>> I don't know. There's no purpose to it, is there?

[00:22:29]>> No, definitely. Of course, if you get rid of >> If I got rid of Mondays, then of course Tuesday would be the start of the week.

[00:22:37]>> Yeah.

[00:22:38]>> You'd just be delaying the inevitable, wouldn't you?

[00:22:40]>> Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Okay, moving on. Is it Is it yours? Is it your terrible joke?

[00:22:46]>> To me. To me. Um, right. Where was I?

[00:22:49]Oh, yes. They I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia. She whispered, "They're right behind you."

[00:23:01]Is it paranormal? No, it's definitely paranoia.

[00:23:04]>> So paranoia. I get this joke more than you do. So I'm gonna explain it. I'll explain it to you which will make it funnier. So paranoia is that feeling that people are always out to get you.

[00:23:16]They're all they're chasing you. You know, it's this idea of everything. Oh my goodness, people are conspiring against me. That's paranoia. So you go into the the the the library and ask, "Do you have any books on paranoia?" And the librarian says, "They're right behind." You know, they're right behind you. This is the idea of paranoia being paranoia. know it's playing on the idea of paranoid but it's also the idea that in a library you should be very >> quiet so you >> you know it's this idea so they would say in that voice as well so it's a kind of double whammy um yeah not the best joke I got it but >> not bad is it bad enough to be a dad joke I wonder >> yeah I don't I don't know if many people I think it's I think it's yeah I think it's just Yeah. No, I I don't think it would be obvious enough for kids either. Um, but I I don't know if I told you, but my friend is uh he's applying for a job at a library, and I know somebody there, so I said I'd put in a quiet word.

[00:24:19]>> That's That's good. Yeah. [laughter] >> So, again, the idea of quietness. And if you put in a quiet word, it's like a subtle suggestion.

[00:24:27]>> Yeah. I think they're the funniest jokes actually when you just play on the characteristic of a place or a thing or someone, you know?

[00:24:33]>> Yeah. That's quite good.

[00:24:35]>> The paranoia one wasn't brilliant. It wasn't the best. Um, sorry. [laughter] >> Paranormal.

[00:24:42][snorts] >> Yeah.

[00:24:45]>> Sorry.

[00:24:45]>> So, I didn't make these up.

[00:24:47]>> I know. I know. I know you didn't. I know. The best thing is my wife sent you this list [snorts] of 10 jokes. So, there you go.

[00:24:57]So, blame her.

[00:25:01]>> Okay. Thank you.

[00:25:02]>> So, you're welcome. I move on swiftly to number nine.

[00:25:06]>> I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, >> but eventually it came back to me.

[00:25:12][laughter] >> Yes. I like that. You see, simple.

[00:25:17]Basically, a boomerang you throw, don't you? And eventually, if you throw it properly, it comes back, doesn't it?

[00:25:24]>> Yeah.

[00:25:24]>> Um, >> but if you can't quite remember how to, >> it might be very slowly. It eventually came back. But also if something comes back to you, you begin to remember it.

[00:25:35]>> That's it.

[00:25:36]>> Yeah. Okay. Number nine. Give me number nine.

[00:25:40]>> Okay. Okay. Right. Here we go. From this list, I told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh. Sadly, no pun intended.

[00:25:51]No pun intended. You get it?

[00:25:54]>> That took me a second. That took me a second.

[00:25:56]>> That needs some explaining.

[00:25:58]>> Yeah. Gosh. Oh dear. Um, okay.

[00:26:03]>> So, I've told you 10 jokes like we've doing today. Yeah.

[00:26:05]>> 10 puns. 10 jokes.

[00:26:08]>> Uh, and if you say you, you know, you try to make somebody laugh with 10 jokes as we have today. This is a very good joke actually in for what we're doing.

[00:26:17]Um, but then you say, you know, you tried to make me laugh, but no pun in 10 did. Naturally, we'd say no pun out of 10 made me laugh. But also, we have this expression, no pun intended, where we say something accidentally that could be considered funny, >> um, but it's not meant to be funny.

[00:26:36]Like, we say something and somebody goes, "Oh, no, no, no pun intended."

[00:26:41]>> Yeah.

[00:26:42]>> You know, it's it's like it's like reinforcing I'm being serious.

[00:26:45]>> Yes, that's right. Yeah. You you accidentally told the joke basically. No pun intended. That wasn't meant to be funny. You know, [laughter] >> some sometime Isn't it wonderful sometimes when you tell a pun accidentally, completely accidentally, and everyone's like, "That's brilliant.

[00:26:59]That's amazing." You go, "Yeah, I'll take that. You have no idea it was funny."

[00:27:05]>> Oh, you're brilliant at puns. Thanks.

[00:27:08][laughter] >> Uh, so here's here's my number 10.

[00:27:12]Here's my number 10. My my Pestella Resistance. It is. Do you know?

[00:27:17]Actually, I know a lot of jokes about retired people, but the problem is none of them work.

[00:27:25]>> That could be a bit offensive, couldn't it? Are you Are you assuming old people >> retired? They're retired. They're retired.

[00:27:31]>> Don't work. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:27:32]>> The problem is none of them work. Um, [laughter] it could be I suppose it could be offensive depending on how much you enjoy or hate your retirement.

[00:27:41]>> Um, so that took a while. That took a wealth for the penny to drop. So I thought initially I thought you meant old people, they don't work physically.

[00:27:47]They're broken, you know.

[00:27:49]>> Oh my god. [laughter] You take You take that to a sinister level.

[00:27:54]>> They don't do a job anymore. They're retired. Yes, I get it. Very funny. Very funny.

[00:27:58]>> And if a pun doesn't work, it's not funny. Exactly like your no pun intended. Uh you know, so yeah, it's it's a play on the idea of no people are working.

[00:28:07]Um yeah.

[00:28:09]>> Yeah. Good. J. See, [snorts] joke jokes are no laughing matter, are they?

[00:28:15]>> No, not in this game. They're not >> right. I think I've got one more for you, haven't I? Okay.

[00:28:19]>> Yes. And then I'm going to hit you with my knockknock joke.

[00:28:22]>> I've opened a bakery specializing in British desserts. Business is Oh, this is so bad even I can't read this out.

[00:28:31]So, I' I've opened a bakery specializing in British desserts. Business is sconing. WELL, [laughter] RUNNING. WELL, [laughter] >> you know what's funnier about this joke?

[00:28:48]It's your pain. It's your pain.

[00:28:52]>> That joke is dreadful. Absolutely dreadful. But the fact that you're there going like this is this is terrible. The self-reerential nature that you're >> I'm trying to find the funny side of it.

[00:29:02]Yeah. [laughter] >> Yeah. I It's Yeah. I mean, it's hard, isn't it? Um, I mean, I would say, you know, I wouldn't even say scone. I'd say scone. So, it doesn't even work sconing. Well, >> well, that brings me to another dad joke I use in my kids because when we eat scones, you know, the little little their little cakes, you know, you put jam and cream on and people go, "Do you pronounce it scone or scone?" And I say, "It's scone until you've eaten it, then it's scone."

[00:29:30]>> Gosh. And that's where your children leave the table and go, >> know who that is.

[00:29:35]>> I don't even know whoever it is.

[00:29:37]>> [laughter] >> I WAS BORN WITHOUT A DAD.

[00:29:42]But um yeah, no, so I say scone, you say scone, but I think it's like British desserts, a scone or scone is a dessert.

[00:29:49]Um and you it's playing on this idea of sconing going. It's like a Oh, that's awful.

[00:29:57]>> Going well. If business is going well, it's good. And if [laughter] >> terrible, >> it's terrible. But uh I promised you that I'd end with a knockk knockock classic. So this isn't a pun. This is a whole setup of jokes. The knockknock du duh joke. So we'll do it. Knock knock.

[00:30:18]Who's there? I eat map.

[00:30:22]>> I eat map who?

[00:30:24]>> Oh mate, that's disgusting. You shouldn't tell people you eat your poo.

[00:30:28][laughter] [gasps] >> Yes. Okay. I fell for that one, didn't I? [laughter] It took me ages to remember it as well.

[00:30:38]I was like, don't want to get it wrong.

[00:30:40]Yeah. So, yeah, it's uh there's a lot of those jokes. We could do whole knockknock jokes another time, I think, >> because that's a whole different type of more set up, isn't it?

[00:30:49]>> But the class the classic one was knock >> you just said it. Yeah, that was the uh the playground joke. Yes. Okay.

[00:31:02]>> Yeah, it was, wasn't it? You know, there's a number of these. We'd better not ruin them because we've got a whole another >> podcast based on these jokes. But, uh, I just want to say, Rob, thank you very much. If you enjoyed listening to this podcast, please feel free to buy us a cup of tea down in the description below. Buy myself or Rob a cup of tea.

[00:31:18]But from me today, I want to say thank you very much for listening. And Rob, thank you very much for making me laugh occasionally.

[00:31:25]>> Yeah. Do Yeah. Do tell us if you found any of this funny, please. It'd be great to know, wouldn't it?

[00:31:30]>> You can add your own. You could do a They could You could do a sequel based on the puns >> in the comments.

[00:31:35]>> Yeah, be great. But it's been fun. It's been a lot of laughs.

[00:31:40]>> It's been a few, hasn't it? Yeah.

[00:31:42]>> Thank you very much for watching. I will see you in the next one, Rob. Thank you very much.

[00:31:45]>> Bye.