The New England Goodbye Nobody Ever Explains | New England True New England True, New England

Added: 2026-05-06

[00:00:00]If you grew up in New England, you already know the goodbye situation.

[00:00:04]Nobody explained it. Nobody questioned it. You just knew that leaving someone's house takes a minimum of 45 minutes.

[00:00:12]Here's how it actually works. Someone says, "Well, we should probably get going." That's the first goodbye. Nobody moves. That's just the warning shot. 15 minutes later, someone stands up. Second goodbye. Now you're still talking but standing. Then coats go on. Third goodbye. You're in the living room, fully dressed, still having a full conversation. Then you migrate toward the door. Fourth goodbye happens in the doorway. Nobody's blocking the exit, but nobody's leaving either. Fifth goodbye is on the porch. Sixth goodbye is at the car. Seventh goodbye is someone rolling down the window after the engine's already on to say one more thing they forgot. Midwesterners think they invented the long goodbye. They didn't.

[00:01:06]New England perfected it. Trying to leave quickly is suspicious, rude, possibly criminal. Your parents did this. Their parents did this. You do it now without even realizing it. You've spent entire weeks of your life standing in doorways with your coat on talking about nothing important. And if someone skips the ritual, you talk about how weird that was for the next three family gatherings. It's completely insane and absolutely mandatory. How many goodbyes does your family