American Comedian Tours Britain | Russell Hicks

Added: 2026-05-28

[00:00:00]I mean, I'm American, right? Just like her. Um but I've lived here, she's lived here 9 years. I've lived here 10 years. So, at this point, this accent is the only American thing left about me, okay?

[00:00:14]All the optimism was drained from my body years ago.

[00:00:18]Somewhere around that first gig in Hull.

[00:00:20]Uh I've never been the same again.

[00:00:24]My spirit left my body, >> [laughter] >> floated over a pub, and landed and he's been drinking there ever since.

[00:00:31]He'll never come home. I'm like, "Come on, man. Come back." He's like, "No, this is my life now, mate."

[00:00:36]>> [laughter] >> "I'll live here in this pub, yeah, and I love it."

[00:00:40]>> [laughter] >> That's my British voice, yeah?

[00:00:45]No, I've been doing it a lot, you know what I mean?

[00:00:48]Yeah, a lot a lot of British people don't like it, yeah?

[00:00:51]You know, I I can feel it in the room, you know what I mean?

[00:00:54]>> [laughter] >> But listen, yeah? In my defense, this is how you sound to me.

[00:01:05]ALL RIGHT?

[00:01:06]>> [laughter] >> AND ALSO, I THINK YOU LIKE THIS BLOKE.

[00:01:11]GIVE HIM A TRY. GOT A GOOD ARM.

[00:01:14]>> [laughter] >> YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

[00:01:17]LOVE THIS BLOKE, YOU KNOW?

[00:01:20]I'll spare you that voice, right? I used to do that voice so often it caused a problem in my relationship.

[00:01:26]>> [laughter] >> To be fair to my girlfriend, I was doing it 24 hours a day. I just love that guy.

[00:01:31]>> [laughter] >> Get up in the morning, you know? He does a little dance. He's like, "HELLO, BUDGE."

[00:01:37]"YOU ALL RIGHT, LOVE?"

[00:01:39]"BUY YOU A CUP OF TEA, YEAH? WHAT?"

[00:01:41]>> [laughter] >> "BUILDERS, YEAH?"

[00:01:44]"WHAT? Trying to be alive, love."

[00:01:46]>> [laughter] >> Be in the bedroom, it's coming home, babes.

[00:01:51]It's coming home.

[00:01:53]ALL RIGHT?

[00:01:55]SHE WAS LIKE, "OKAY, SERIOUSLY, STOP IT.

[00:01:57]>> [laughter] >> YOU'RE driving me crazy. You're not yourself anymore."

[00:02:01]You know? So, I had to break it to him.

[00:02:03]I had to have a word with him. Uh he didn't take it well.

[00:02:07]You know, I sat him down, took him to a Wetherspoons, his favorite spot.

[00:02:12]I said, "Listen, man, I can't keep doing this, okay?"

[00:02:15]He was like, "What?"

[00:02:18]"Wait, what are you on about?"

[00:02:21]I said this, "I can't keep doing this impression, okay? It's causing a problem in my relationship." He was like, "All right, then, mate.

[00:02:30]I bet that's how you want it, yeah?

[00:02:32]>> [laughter] >> YEAH, WELL, WHAT ABOUT THE GOOD times we had, mate?

[00:02:36]WHAT ABOUT BLUEWATER, MATE?

[00:02:39]REMEMBER PARKING BLUEWATER, YEAH?

[00:02:41]>> [laughter] >> You know what I mean? We were shy at first, but then we loosened up, and it was one of the most [laughter] beautiful experiences.

[00:02:50]We were really going.

[00:02:52]YEAH, YEAH.

[00:02:54]>> [laughter] >> I UNDERSTAND THAT, BUT IT'S OVER, OKAY?

[00:02:57]IT'S MY RELATIONSHIP. IT'S MORE IMPORTANT. ALL RIGHT, THEN, MATE.

[00:03:01]ARE YOU BEING honest with yourself, yeah?

[00:03:05]Who have you had more fun with, yeah?

[00:03:08]Me or that bird in there?

[00:03:11]True story, she and I are broken up, and he's still with us.

[00:03:15]That's right.

[00:03:17]>> [applause] >> THE PART OF THAT CHARACTER TONIGHT WAS PLAYED by Sir Michael Caine. There he is.

[00:03:23]>> [laughter] >> [ __ ] you very much, yeah.

[00:03:28]It's true, man. I've played everywhere.

[00:03:29]No matter where I go in this country, same thing. Whenever I go on stage, whatever comedy club, you can feel it in the room. They're like, "Ah, this guy just got off the boat. Here we go."

[00:03:38]I have been to more places in Britain than British people have ever heard of, and trust me, probably ever should visit, okay?

[00:03:46]>> [laughter] >> I've seen them all, MAN. HULL, SCUNTHORPE. That's right, cuz I go they NEED THE LAUGHS.

[00:03:52]>> [laughter] >> OH, EVERYBODY WANTS TO PLAY THE LEICESTER SQUARE THEATRE.

[00:03:58]I'll take Luton any day of the week.

[00:04:00]>> [laughter] >> Those people are sad and desperate and they need my attention.

[00:04:05]I love it. You learn things when you travel like that, man. Scunthorpe, that's my favorite place I've ever played. Just the name alone. That's the most hillbilly sounding thing I've ever heard in my life. I'm from America. That sounds like it should be in the Bible Belt, like way down in Mississippi. Just Scunthorpe.

[00:04:20]>> [laughter] >> OOH, YEAH. SCUNTHORPE.

[00:04:25]>> [laughter] >> SOUNDS LIKE YOU get to the entrance, there's just a guy out front in overalls, cross-eyed, having a wank.

[00:04:33]>> [laughter] >> And you got to get by him if you want to get in the village.

[00:04:37]And all the village people come out and go, "Oh, that's just Wanky Joe."

[00:04:42]>> [laughter] >> "Oh, we don't get a lot of visitors here and old Joe just gets a little excited.

[00:04:49]>> [laughter] >> It's best to just let him finish."

[00:04:54]BUT I'M GOING TO BE HONEST, YOU GOT ABOUT 30 MORE SECONDS. Old Joe's going to start wanking again. ISN'T THAT RIGHT, JOSEPH? COME ON.

[00:05:00]>> [screaming] [laughter] >> IF I HAD THE BUDGET AT THIS POINT, THE WANKY JOE dancers would ascend >> [laughter] >> upon the stage and the rest of the show would be about Wanky Joe.

[00:05:10]So many questions. Where does he come from? Where does he go?

[00:05:13]>> [laughter] >> Can you imagine it?

[00:05:18]Can you imagine the dancing? Don't imagine what the Wanky Joe dancers would be doing.

[00:05:25]I've never really thought that >> [laughter] >> that far ahead, but they they sound filthy, don't they? But uh Yeah, man. Scunthorpe was great because I love this about this country. No matter where you go in this nation, no matter how [ __ ] the place you're in, they'll have a place near them they think is worse.

[00:05:39]Everywhere you go has a rival, right?

[00:05:42]Scunthorpe hates Doncaster. I'm like, "Listen, you guys, join forces, okay?

[00:05:47]You'd have running water and Wi-Fi around here in no time.

[00:05:51]You're stronger together now. Come on."

[00:05:55]They hate each other, man. Scunthorpe calls itself Scunny and Doncaster's Donny. And the entire time I was there, they were playing each other in football the next day. So, people kept coming up to me and going, "Hey, you going to watch Scunny versus Donny tomorrow?

[00:06:06]You going to watch Scunny versus Donny?"

[00:06:09]I genuinely thought it was like two inbred cousins that they just starve all year and just let loose in a field somewhere. GET HIM, SCUNNY!

[00:06:19]>> [laughter] >> BITE HIM, DONNY!

[00:06:22]USE YOUR TOOTH!

[00:06:25]>> [laughter] >> THAT'S THE THING, MAN. THAT'S WHY I LOVE, RIGHT? THIS is the most liberal city I've ever lived in, London. Come on, right?

[00:06:32]>> [cheering] >> Yep, the irony, of course, is everybody who lives here hates people.

[00:06:38]Humanitarians roam these streets, yet they have no tolerance for actual human beings.

[00:06:45]Everybody in this city is like, "I'm on my way to a protest for human rights, but hold on, this little old lady is walking at a speed less than 80 miles an hour.

[00:06:56]>> [laughter] >> So, I'm going to grab this [ __ ] by the back of the neck and throw her down this escalator.

[00:07:02]>> [laughter] >> Just out of my way, Agnes.

[00:07:05]I'm on my way to a protest.

[00:07:09]Meanwhile, you leave the city, you go out to somewhere like Kent. Some of the nicest racists you've ever met in your life.

[00:07:16]>> [laughter] >> Lovely people, some of the most horrible political opinions.

[00:07:22]But which one you want to pass in the street? I felt bad cuz as soon as I said Kent, like three people over here were like, "Woo!"

[00:07:29]And for about half a second, I knew what was going And you just sounded so pleasant. I was like, "Oh, boy, I'm going to have to deliver this to them, but uh you know, you know you deserve it, Kent.

[00:07:40]Um No, big time. Kent coming from out of town. Yeah, who's coming from Kent over there?

[00:07:46]Look at that. Wow, look at Oh my god, look at this.

[00:07:49]Big day out, huh?

[00:07:52]Coming all the way in. These people made the effort. Got the train and everything. What part of Kent do you live in?

[00:07:59]Near Bluewater. I love that. Wow, really? You too? Bluewater. That sounds like a like a mythical place.

[00:08:07]>> [laughter] >> That sounds like the kind of place Sounds like the kind of cult I'm going to see a Netflix documentary about one day. But everybody in here would watch Bluewater.

[00:08:17]>> [laughter] >> And it's just got one of those guys, always a guy.

[00:08:21]Always a dude starts a cult, right? And everybody just lives in the magical area of Bluewater.

[00:08:26]>> [laughter] >> And I feel like maybe you guys just broke free from the cult tonight.

[00:08:31]And you're going to go back home and you're going to be like, "No, there is land outside of Bluewater.

[00:08:35]>> [laughter] >> I'm telling you I saw it.

[00:08:38]I was in a theater. There were lights and everything.

[00:08:41]Bluewater is a sham.

[00:08:44]And one day they'll make a biopic of your lives, and this will be a focal moment.

[00:08:49]Probably the only time I'll get on Netflix.

[00:08:51]>> [laughter] >> What an insult to this career.

[00:08:56]Camera's going to be on you, and I'm just going to be a grainy figure in the back.

[00:09:00]And I'll be telling my kids, "That was me, I swear."

[00:09:03]Bluewater. There wouldn't even be a movie if it wasn't for me.

[00:09:07]So, you're from Bluewater as well?

[00:09:09]Yeah, do you know these people over here?

[00:09:12]British people do that, man. I travel around the country, married couples will separate like that.

[00:09:20]>> [laughter] >> Honestly, I know this is London and 90% of you are polyamorous, but there is a world out there.

[00:09:29]>> [laughter] >> Certainly the people of Bluewater don't believe in the confines of monogamy.

[00:09:33]>> [laughter] >> That's one of the central tenants of Bluewater.

[00:09:37]That's what leader has said, we all have plenty of love to give and so every night we go into the the mating pool.

[00:09:46]>> [laughter] >> Ah, is there anything worse than imagining people from Kent [ __ ] Now listen, I'm sorry to bring the night down like that. I don't know if you've ever been to Gravesend, but I know I'm not sleeping tonight.

[00:09:59]>> [laughter] >> Almost did a Dave Chappelle slap my knee there. Right?

[00:10:05]>> [laughter] >> Um yes, okay, Bluewater. Yeah, uh welcome and uh you don't know these people, do you? No. But yeah, that is true, they separate like that, man. Like you go all over the country and uh yeah, like outside the country, man, they'll just be like married couples. Like in America, I feel like, you know, we sit next to, you know, what I mean? This is my beautiful lady, right? And in Britain, man, it'll be like, there's the husband and then like outside the venue >> [laughter] >> looking in the window is his wife.

[00:10:36]All right, well, we wanted to have a good time tonight, so >> [laughter] >> I'll turn around. I'll say, "Do you WANT TO HAVE FUN, MIRIAM?

[00:10:43]>> [laughter] >> Do you WANT TO HAVE FUN?"

[00:10:46]YEAH.

[00:10:49]AND THEN THAT YEAH.

[00:10:53]WHAT'S THE SHOW BEEN LIKE from your point of view so far?

[00:10:56]He's talking to me. Yeah.

[00:10:59]Yeah, dad, WHEN IS IT STARTING?

[00:11:01]COME ON.

[00:11:03]NO, this has been great, man, traveling around this country, seeing the places I've been before, you know. I love this country. We got to go to some seaside towns. Those are my favorite. I love a British seaside town cuz I'm from California. I didn't KNOW BEACHES COULD LOOK LIKE THAT.

[00:11:19]>> [laughter] >> AH, IT'S INCREDIBLE, RIGHT?

[00:11:25]AH, there's no sand, it's just rocks and glass.

[00:11:29]>> [laughter] >> Everybody's crying wearing knitwear in the rain.

[00:11:33]>> [laughter] >> WHEN I'M IN AMERICA ON A BEACH, I HEAR the Beach Boys inside my head. Surfing USA.

[00:11:41]When I'm in this country, I just hear Morrissey narrating my every move.

[00:11:46]>> [laughter] >> Sad house waiting for a bus and then I found a bus.

[00:11:50]>> [laughter] >> And heaven knows I'm miserable now.

[00:11:55]>> [laughter] >> I don't go home that much. Like I I stopped GOING HOME THAT MUCH FOR a while there. It's cuz I was afraid to fly. Got a bit of a fear of flying, you know.

[00:12:03]So I didn't go home that much. I don't think I'm crazy. You know what I mean?

[00:12:06]It's uh I can't wrap my head around it. You know what I mean? You're going 500 miles in a metal tube.

[00:12:12]You know what I mean? It's terrifying, right? I've tried everything to get over it, right? I talked to the pilot. That's the thing they say to do. When we're on the ground, like I don't like >> [laughter] >> I don't I don't care if you're busy.

[00:12:27]>> [laughter] >> Some people in economy want to have a word here, bud. [laughter] I bet these PEOPLE IN THESE PODS WOULD GET A MOMENT OF YOUR TIME.

[00:12:37]>> [laughter] >> FREAKING pod people. I hate that, man.

[00:12:40]They're in pods now. Has anyone noticed that the space in our seats is shrinking at the exact rate theirs is getting bigger and more luxurious?

[00:12:51]You got to walk by, right? They're all in those little pod seats.

[00:12:55]>> [laughter] >> And sometimes there's a kid in that seat.

[00:12:59]That drives me out of my mind.

[00:13:02]Nine-year-old, six-year-old kid sitting in his little pod.

[00:13:06]Cuz he's got rich parents. GET HIM OUT OF HERE, MAN. Throw him in the overhead.

[00:13:10]There's no reason >> [laughter] >> for this. I'm telling you right now, if I'm ever on a plane that's going down, the first thing I'm doing, running up to the front, grabbing one of those brats, chucking them out, and just feeling those seats for just a few more minutes.

[00:13:22][laughter] Just that little bit before I go down.

[00:13:26]I want to be a pod person when I hit the ground.

[00:13:30]I'm going to die back there, all smashed together. You know, >> [laughter] >> I swear.

[00:13:36]I WALKED OFF A FLIGHT ONCE. I WAS taking a really It was like uh, you know, just this terrible airline, right? You know?

[00:13:42]Like we're filming this. I don't know if it's like a lawsuit, but it was, you know, who gives a [ __ ] Thompson, whatever hellhole flight.

[00:13:49]>> [laughter] >> I used to do these I used to do these like private like they were um, there was this thing that I would do um, British people do this thing, okay?

[00:13:59]Where they they go to another country and they'll go to these resorts where they don't go outside and see any of the culture whatsoever.

[00:14:09]They just go there for the sun and then they leave. I don't even think the plane actually lands in the country.

[00:14:14]>> [laughter] >> I think it's just all in a sound studio in Pinewood somewhere.

[00:14:18]>> [laughter] >> Goes up, does a couple of circles and then they just land and everyone pretends it's Mykonos, right?

[00:14:24]Like [laughter] I remember I just looked around with cuz you know, when we're all on a flight, we're in our worst, right? We're in our sweatpants, we're just looking gross and I just thought, I can't die with these people.

[00:14:35]>> [laughter] >> And that wasn't what did it, man. I met the pilot, cuz that's what they said to do. They go, "Meet the pilot before you fly and you'll feel better." I'm here to tell you right now, it depends on the airline, okay?

[00:14:46]>> [laughter] >> You know, this kid's coming out. He was like just EasyJet or whatever.

[00:14:55]The door opens up, there's just beer cans fall out of the cockpit.

[00:14:58]>> [laughter] >> Co-pilot's reading Nuts magazine. I'm like, "Ah, don't worry, mate. We'll be all right."

[00:15:05]>> [laughter] >> "Ah, she's easy. Piece of piss, mate.

[00:15:08]HOW LONG CAN IT BE?"

[00:15:10]>> [laughter] >> TO BE HONEST, THE PILOT CAME UP TO ME AND HE WAS JUST too young. You ever see someone in a position, I don't know if it's cuz I'm getting older, he looked like he was like 10, you know? I just remember his suit was too big. It was like hanging off his hands. And he's like, "I like easy. I LOVE PLANES."

[00:15:27][laughter] THIS IS GOING TO BE GREAT. WE'RE IN THE SKY, ISN'T THAT CRAZY?

[00:15:33]>> [laughter] >> I HATE TO ADMIT IT, MAN, BUT WHEN I'M ON AN AIRPLANE, in that moment, that state of anxiety, the only thing that makes me feel better, and this is awful to admit, and I'm just as embarrassed to say it as you are to hear it. I feel like I need it to be ONE OF THOSE POSH OLD BRITISH MEN.

[00:15:51]I DON'T KNOW WHY. IT MAKES ME SICK.

[00:15:54]>> [laughter] >> I THINK THE BEST I CAN DESCRIBE IT, the best I can explain it, I think, is that if we've learned anything in the last however many years we've all been on this planet, it's that nothing bad happens TO POSH PEOPLE.

[00:16:11]THIS IS WHAT I believe.

[00:16:14]You know what I mean? So, I'll just be sitting there, and I need him to come over the intercom and be like, "Hello, ladies and gentlemen.

[00:16:19]>> [laughter] >> My name IS NIGEL THROCKMORTON."

[00:16:24]I UNDERSTAND WE HAVE A NERVOUS flyer on board.

[00:16:27]>> [laughter] >> Don't you worry.

[00:16:30]There's two engines on this plane.

[00:16:33]Should one of those should fail, we've got a backup.

[00:16:36]And if that should fail, we'll simply float to the earth upon the wings of my privilege.

[00:16:46]Yes.

[00:16:47]>> [cheering and applause] >> Have you ever been on the last mode of transportation in this country?

[00:16:52]THE LAST TRAIN OUT OF TOWN.

[00:16:55]ALL THE DRUNKEST PEOPLE IN THE universe >> [laughter] >> congregate on this one train.

[00:17:00]IT'S ABSOLUTE CHAOS.

[00:17:03]CUZ WHO LEAVES THE BAR AT THE LAST POSSIBLE MOMENT, RIGHT? Your Barry's, Dave's, coming out of the bar, doing blow, running down the street.

[00:17:10]Dicks out, just running.

[00:17:12]>> [laughter] >> Sharon's coming out of All Bar One, you know what I mean?

[00:17:18]>> [laughter] >> Just tit out. Leave it. Leave it out.

[00:17:21]I'm not about.

[00:17:24]I'm not going to lie. One time I was on the train, my girlfriend saw a girl walk down the aisle tit out.

[00:17:30]And she KNEW IT WAS OUT. SHE DIDN'T CARE.

[00:17:33]>> [laughter] >> SHE WAS PROUD.

[00:17:35]IT WAS ALMOST INSPIRING.

[00:17:37]SO WALK. I'M NOT ABOUT.

[00:17:42]WALK [laughter] TIT, YEAH?

[00:17:46]YOU KNOW MY TIT'S OUT, YEAH?

[00:17:48]>> [laughter] >> YEAH, I CAN DO that voice. That's my girl voice.

[00:17:54]It's like the last of my voices, you know what I mean?

[00:17:57]It's not all girls that do this voice, you know what I mean? But it's a certain type of girl, ain't it?

[00:18:02]>> [laughter] >> You know what I mean? They got them big eyelashes, right?

[00:18:05]Kind of eyelashes so long you fly out beef on them, you know what I mean?

[00:18:09]>> [laughter] >> No, we're not taking EasyJet girls. Get on my shoulders, yeah?

[00:18:15]Right, here we go, yeah?

[00:18:17]>> [laughter] >> Yes, fly. That's nice, isn't it?

[00:18:24]JUST SORT OF FLOAT.

[00:18:26]>> [laughter] >> JUST GLIDING IN IT.

[00:18:33]It's beautiful country, ain't it, girls?

[00:18:34]>> [laughter] >> You look down there.

[00:18:39]THAT'S BLUE WATER.

[00:18:42]>> [laughter] >> YEAH.

[00:18:47]>> [laughter] >> CAN ONLY SEE IT FROM HERE.

[00:18:50]AND NOT everyone can see it.

[00:18:52]>> [laughter] >> That's the thing, though.

[00:19:00]I shouldn't make fun, man. Like Like you know what I mean? If you wear like all that fake stuff, you know what I'm saying? Like I I had a girlfriend when I first moved here that wore a lot of fake stuff. You know what I mean?

[00:19:10]Hair extensions and eyelashes and all that. And, uh, I didn't know 90% of her head was synthetic >> [laughter] >> until one night she just came home and started pulling all this stuff off her body.

[00:19:22]Freaked me out, man. Just on a night out, she just came in and started pulling her eyelashes off, >> [laughter] >> her hair, eyeballs, and ears.

[00:19:31]By the time she got in bed, she was a little OLD CHINESE WOMAN.

[00:19:33]>> [laughter] >> ALL THESE PEOPLE ARE ON THIS TRAIN.

[00:19:44]>> [laughter] >> NAKED, PEEING, EVERYTHING, GOING CRAZY, CHAOS.

[00:19:50]THERE'S VOMIT ON THE GROUND, or as British people like to call it, sick.

[00:19:54]>> [laughter] >> Way too cute of a name for what that is.

[00:19:57]I thought it would be It's sick.

[00:19:59]There's human entrails in that.

[00:20:01]>> [laughter] >> Everything is going off, man. There's just everybody. Um, it's chaos is happening all over the place. Drunks, people naked, peeing on things. The driver comes over the intercom. He's drunk.

[00:20:13]>> [laughter] >> And all right, ladies and gentlemen, this is your driver.

[00:20:17]And this train's going to be calling at a bunch of [ __ ] holes, mate.

[00:20:20]>> [laughter] >> Uh, [ __ ] it. I'm pissed, yeah.

[00:20:25]Who gives a [ __ ] all right?

[00:20:27]>> [laughter] >> You [ __ ] laid on this train. What do you expect, you all right?

[00:20:32]All right, got it here, Barry.

[00:20:34]I'll try to get you out of this way.

[00:20:38]All right, I'll do it two today, all right, yeah.

[00:20:42]All right, ladies and gentlemen, this train's going to be getting in a little bit quicker than we thought.

[00:20:45]>> [laughter] >> Going all the way to North Hampton. [ __ ] MILTON KEYNES.

[00:20:50]>> [laughter] >> THAT'S ALL GOING OFF. THE DRIVER'S DRUNK. I'm just sitting there, TOTALLY SOBER, IN THE MIDDLE OF ALL THIS CHAOS.

[00:20:59]AND IT'S ALWAYS at that moment some announcement comes on and goes, "If you see anything suspicious, >> [laughter] [laughter] >> Yes, hello.

[00:21:16]>> [laughter] >> I'd like to report some suspicious activity.

[00:21:21]Well, there's a man in front of me totally naked eating McDonald's.

[00:21:25]>> [laughter] >> Shoving it up his ass.

[00:21:29]I didn't get his name.

[00:21:31]>> [laughter] >> Everyone keeps shouting legend.

[00:21:40]Yeah.

[00:21:42]Yeah, you can hear the carriage clapping for themselves.

[00:21:45]>> [laughter] >> Well, they're they're they're all watching me call you there.

[00:21:50]Throwing things at me.