🇨🇳Why young Chinese can't get along well with their parents and want to escape from their families

[00:00:00]Hi, I'm Mindy, 28 years old, single, living a nomadic lifestyle across China.

[00:00:13]In this vlog, I will tell you why young Chinese can't get along well with their parents and why they want to escape from their parents and families.

[00:00:32]All of you must know that China has a longstanding and profound filop pietyic culture.

[00:00:43]Over thousands of years of feudal society, traditional Chinese families maintained strict control over their descendants, especially in wealthy and influential households.

[00:01:06]Parents hel absolute authority over their child's lives.

[00:01:13]making crucial decisions ranging from academic learning and personal behaviors to career development and marriage arrangements.

[00:01:30]This is perfectly illustrated by the ancient Chinese saying marriages are arranged by parents and facilitated by matchmakers which fully reflects the absolute dominance of parental will over children's life choices in ancient China.

[00:02:07]As one of the core pillars of traditional Chinese culture, filop piety has shaped China's social ethics and family values for thousands of years.

[00:02:28]Unlike the equal and independent parent child relationship advocated in western cultures, Chinese traditional filio culture has established a richer hierarchical family ethical system since the feudal era emphasizing seniority, obedience, and absolute respect for elders.

[00:02:59]After thousands of years of inheritance and precipitation, this deeply rooted filio concept has penetrated into the national consciousness and profoundly shaped the family views and parenting attitudes of older generation in China.

[00:03:38]Even in modern society where filter systems and old rituals have long been abolished, the inheritant traditional concepts retained by elderly parents have never faded.

[00:04:04]Most parents of the older generation still hold the traditional view that children are their private possessions rather than independent individuals.

[00:04:19]This deeprooted mindset has become the fundamental reason for the growing exchangement between contemporary Chinese youth and their parents as well as the core motivation for young people to pursue spiritual and physical independence away from their original families.

[00:04:49]Watch out this side.

[00:05:06]Throughout the filo period, filopiety was not merely a moral standard but a riches social norm and institutional constraint that governed every ordinary person.

[00:05:27]Ancient society universally advocated that felop piety ranks first among all virtues, defining absolute obedience and lifelong service to parents as the bound duty of children.

[00:05:52]The patriarchal family system granted parents supreme power over their upspring.

[00:06:02]From daily works and these personal hobbies and academic skills to major life decisions such as career paths and marriage partners. Children were deprived of the right to independent choice.

[00:06:39]Wow.

[00:06:43]something.

[00:06:58]The feudal ethical principle of the father dominates the son completely solidified the subordinate status of children in the family.

[00:07:17]In that social context, filop piety was equated with unconditional obedience.

[00:07:27]Any resistance or disobedience to parental arrangements was regarded as unfil and rebellious behavior which would incur severe condemnation from the whole family and even public criticism from the entire society.

[00:07:59]Influenced by such rich ethical education from an early age, Asian children were trapped in high ideological shackles.

[00:08:13]Even when they were dissatisfied with their parents excessive control and arbitrary arrangements, they could only endure silently without any courage to resist, forming a long-term imbalanced parent child relationship based on one-sided obedience.

[00:08:49]Although the feudal hierarchical system has collapsed in modern times, the old-fashioned thinking derived from thousands of years of failure culture has been completely preserved in the minds of the older generation.

[00:09:10]Growing up in a traditional family environment and deeply influenced by father ethics, modern elders parents firmly believe that children are extensions of their own lives and exclusive private belongings.

[00:09:33]In their cognition, parents have absolute control over their children's lives.

[00:09:59]They are accustomed to intervening in and dominating every aspect of their children's lives including daily life arrangements, interest cultivation, career planning, mate selection, and lifestyle choices.

[00:10:26]They always impose their own life experience and values on the younger generation, firmly believing that parental arrangements are always correct and beneficial.

[00:10:53]In their eyes, children's absolute obedience equals fial piety. While any violation of parental will is defined as rebellion and ingratitude.

[00:11:11]This concept is not an individual phenomenon but a universal consensus among the older generation. A profound residual mark of China's traditional fio culture.

[00:11:35]The huge ideological gap between the two generations has completely erupted as contemporary youth receive modern education and broaden their horizons.

[00:11:54]Different from the closed and traditional growth environment of their parents, young people today are exposed to diversify modern education and advanced concepts of equality, independence, and freedom from an early age.

[00:12:22]Modern education enables young people to realize that every individual is an independent entity with the right to choose their own life and control their own destiny.

[00:12:40]They understand that a healthy parent child relationship should be two-way equal and respective rather than a one-sided hierarchical relationship of control and submission.

[00:13:08]Equipped with modern cognitive concepts and open vision, young people have broken the ideological shackles of traditional field of feale piety and no longer recognize the old logic that children must obey their parents unconditionally for a lifetime.

[00:13:39]However, the older generation still adheres to the outdated parenting model of high pressure control and absolute dominance.

[00:13:54]The conflict between the younger generations awakened selfawareness and the parents deeprooted controlling parenting style has triggered continuous and intense family contradictions in their childhood and adolescence.

[00:14:23]Young people were physically and economically dependent on their parents with immature minds and insufficient ability to live independently.

[00:14:39]Even if they felt suppressed and dissatisfied with their parents excessive discipline and arbitrary interference, they had to compromise and then not resist.

[00:14:55]But as they grow older, receive higher education and achieve economic independence.

[00:15:04]Young people gain the capital to live independently and form complete independent personalities and self-cognition.

[00:15:16]At this stage, they begin to break free from their parents' long-term control and firmly resist excessive intervention in their personal life.

[00:15:33]However, the rational pursuit of independence by young people is regarded as unfil, rebellious, and disrespectful by the older generation.

[00:15:50]The irreversible cognitive gap between the two generations constantly intensifies family conflicts and alien parent child relationships.

[00:16:05]Tired of long-term spiritual suppression and moral kidnapping under the name of filial piety, many young people choose alienation as a way of self redemption.

[00:16:23]This explain the prevalent social phenomena in modern China. Numerous young people take the initiative to reduce daily contact with their parents and no longer obey their parents arrangements in everything.

[00:16:43]Many young people choose to work and develop in distant cities far away from their hometowns.

[00:16:51]Some even give up returning home for the spring festival. the most important traditional family reunion festival and spend the festival alone outside.

[00:17:07]It is worth emphasizing that such behaviors of young people are not indifference or betrayal of fial piety.

[00:17:19]On the contrary, they are helpless and rational choices to escape from the distorted, unequal, and restrictive parent trial relationship.

[00:17:33]Fundamentally, the contemporary Chinese parent child conflict is an inevitable collision between the residual field of filop piety thinking and modern values of equality, independence and freedom.

[00:17:58]Traditional Chinese filio culture has nurtured Chinese people's sense of gratitude and family responsibility.

[00:18:09]But it also leaves behind drawbacks such as patriarchal autocracy and individual restraint.

[00:18:19]While the elder generation stably adheres to the old concept of privatizing and controlling their children, educated modern youth pursue personality independence and autonomous life choices.

[00:18:39]The irreconcilable cognitive conflict between the two generations constitutes the core of modern Chinese family intergenerational contradictions.

[00:18:57]The so-called disobedience and exchangement of young people are not betrayal of family affection or traditional virtues but a positive resistance to abnormal restrictive family relations and pursuit of equal and respectful modern parent child relationships.

[00:19:26]This intergenerational ideological game is also promoting the modern remodeling of traditional feial piety culture, driving Chinese family values to evolve from the old model of absolute obedience and parental control to a new era of mutual respect, equality, and understanding between parents. and children.