Apartment Hunting for My Ex in NYC (We Were Always Better at This Than Marriage)

Added: 2026-06-01

[00:00:00]So, New York City is basically saying, "Cute dream. What is your actual budget?"

[00:00:06]If money were not a thing, we would get the two-bedroom on York Avenue. I already looked at it. It's lovely. It's also $9,000 a month. So, that is not happening. What is happening is this. I'm searching alone, he's working, and somehow we are trying to solve our family logistics over text. I'm helping my ex find an apartment in New York City so he can live closer to me.

[00:00:33]And I know how that sounds, but hear me out. Here's the situation. We have a nesting agreement, which means that my ex goes out on the weekends and I come in. Currently, my son and his dad are in FiDi in a one-bedroom apartment for 4650.

[00:00:51]In order for them to move closer to my mother's apartment so that I can continue to show up for her, we need to beat that price significantly. Is it even possible to find a two-bedroom for under $4,000 in New York City in 2026?

[00:01:09]At 56, I moved back to my childhood bedroom in New York City, and I'm starting from here. I know how to read a floor plan like the back of my hand.

[00:01:18]See, I was a real estate agent in Westchester.

[00:01:21]That was part of my suburban experiment.

[00:01:24]Neither of those stuck. My ex and I are on a tightrope together. And what do you do on a tightrope?

[00:01:31]You don't look down. You move carefully and deliberately.

[00:01:35]And ideally, you don't bring a king-size bed.

[00:01:43]I've been doing this search alone, which honestly, I'm fine with. I was groomed for this.

[00:01:49]I've been moving since I was 8 years old, and I lived in 20 over 27 apartments. So, I know the drill. He is willing to consider relocating uptown, which in co-parenting language is not a yes, but it's not a no, either. So, I'm taking it. Here's what I need to be near my mother: an elevator, enough room for that my son can sleep and set up a workspace. And here's what would make him say yes: two bedrooms, large kitchen, closets, laundry, gym, close to his job.

[00:02:22]My mother, my son, my daughter, I've been running back and forth, and if you've been watching, you know the math only works if we're in a 12-minute radius. So, my best friend asked me why I wouldn't just get rid of the bed, not knowing which apartment we're going to move to in New York City, and I said "Oh, no. We're going to find an apartment that fits the bed, not the other way around." You see, it's probably one of the only sentimental things that we have.

[00:02:54]All four of us used to sleep in it. It was the family bed.

[00:02:58]My suggestion was to get a sleeper sofa, put it in the living room, set up Jude's studio in the foyer, and the bed goes back in the bedroom where it belongs.

[00:03:22]So, open houses aren't what they used to be.

[00:03:26]You used to just show up and like put your name on a list, and then you would look around and see if you liked it enough to continue the conversation with the agent or broker. Now, even if there's an open house slot for like the whole day, you need to make an appointment.

[00:03:45]We're going to be looking at six apartments today. Most of them are in a 20-minute proximity to the Upper East Side.

[00:03:54]This was one of the first apartments I looked at and it's not technically a two-bedroom, but the second bedroom was really part of the living room. It's a beautiful apartment. Already six applicants when I arrived.

[00:04:23]I feel like I've tried to get into so many apartments recently and for one reason or another, it has not gone through. But this is the second apartment I think I'm seeing and it was small.

[00:04:37]And it has a Okay.

[00:04:56]Three closets.

[00:04:59]Three closets in the bedroom.

[00:05:03]I mean, it has a vibe.

[00:05:07]It's small. You told me that it was the market is like five or like even 58 for a you know, a decent two-bedroom with like actual large size, you know, bedrooms. So I don't know.

[00:05:24]I'm feeling not very optimistic right now.

[00:05:27]Um and I have to charge my phone. So that's the story.

[00:05:33]Anyway, um laundry in the basement, no gym.

[00:05:38]Okay, before I get run over.

[00:05:42]I'm not going to recommend something that I'm not genuinely excited about and that's not good for everyone in this situation, and my ex knows that about me.

[00:05:56]I really did want to try to honor my ex's request for two bedrooms, so this is where I started.

[00:06:06]Where am I going? I feel like I'm have like a Is this like a chess walk or something? Am I going up?

[00:06:12]>> Yeah.

[00:06:13]>> Up?

[00:06:14]>> Yeah, this is just the second floor.

[00:06:18]>> This one. Second floor, smaller than his current apartment, no laundry, no elevator. That's the one thing we both agreed on.

[00:06:32]Should we measure the bedroom?

[00:06:34]>> Uh I would say just film it.

[00:06:36]We can also ask.

[00:06:38]>> Right, if it fits.

[00:06:40]Okay, this is cute. Wow, it faces the back.

[00:06:43]>> Do you like that?

[00:06:45]>> This would work. My keyboard right now that's going to have to sit there.

[00:06:47]>> Yeah, he would want this room.

[00:06:50]So, let's come out and give the other people a chance. I think it Do you think it could fit? I feel like I need to measure.

[00:06:56]>> Yeah.

[00:06:56]>> You might be better off just hanging out here.

[00:06:59]>> The king-size bed?

[00:07:00]>> But actually like right downstairs almost >> I mean you like you would set up and then that's it.

[00:07:06]This whole area. This would be like your room.

[00:07:09]>> There's no Yeah.

[00:07:10]>> I mean maybe here.

[00:07:11]>> Yeah.

[00:07:12]>> I could hang it just I could just do that.

[00:07:14]>> Yeah, this is like Super competitive. Someone's emailing Jacob right now.

[00:07:26]>> That's probably nothing.

[00:07:36]>> And then there's this one. Close to my mom, extra space in the loft, ground floor though. and since the pandemic, I swear there are more rats in this city than people.

[00:07:49]It was dark.

[00:07:50]Kind of depressing. No dishwasher.

[00:07:54]And the agent mentioned an exterminator that comes every Monday.

[00:07:59]Every Monday. So glad we didn't take it.

[00:08:08]The pictures made the outdoor space look like it was in Italy.

[00:08:15]Next.

[00:08:16]So, typically what you do if you can't find exactly what you're looking for in a particular area, you expand your search. So, that's what I did.

[00:08:32]Long Island City wasn't in the parameters. 30 minutes instead of 10, but I thought I'd found two bedrooms at this price point, and the amenities are a serious draw. I think I was finding the edges like a pendulum.

[00:08:49]>> And you could even >> The cats would be And what's the >> It's glass.

[00:08:58]>> Sorry. What's the pet pet policy?

[00:09:00]>> Um do you have a pet?

[00:09:02]>> two cats.

[00:09:03]>> So, we'll need your vaccination records and pictures, but there's no fee for two cats.

[00:09:08]>> Okay.

[00:09:09]They're They're well-behaved.

[00:09:11]Um >> I think they'd be fine. This is glass.

[00:09:14]>> This is glass, right?

[00:09:15]>> Yeah.

[00:09:15]>> Do you think they would jump?

[00:09:17]>> No.

[00:09:20]>> Okay.

[00:09:22]>> That scares me a little.

[00:09:24]>> Yeah.

[00:09:25]But >> That scares me more.

[00:09:26]>> And there'll be happy to get you the card or do you just like the sign that's done?

[00:09:30]There's also a car scanner too, and then there's also valet service off the lobby. 15 minutes out, I'm not sure why you're right cleaning. That's all there is to it.

[00:09:42]>> Stop the presses.

[00:09:44]This might be like >> The seller.

[00:09:47]>> Yeah.

[00:09:48]>> Uh-huh.

[00:09:49]>> To NYU Tandon.

[00:09:51]>> Go ahead, Zoe.

[00:09:51]>> Mhm.

[00:09:52]>> Oh my goodness. Oh my god.

[00:09:56]This is so beautiful. Wow.

[00:10:00]Oh my gosh.

[00:10:02]This is so nice. Oh my god.

[00:10:05]Okay, but like I wouldn't be allowed to use this unless I'm on the lease.

[00:10:10]>> Yeah, that I have to I have to check.

[00:10:12]Yeah.

[00:10:13]>> But with the Long Island City place, I would have to be on the lease in order for Jude to use the amenities.

[00:10:21]And for everyone who's been following, you know that in my situation I can't do that. So, it was kind of a moot point. All the beautiful amenities, not being able to use them.

[00:10:35]Like why would we do that?

[00:10:38]Oh my goodness.

[00:10:40]What the heck?

[00:10:43]Oh my god.

[00:10:45]I am like freaking out.

[00:10:49]What?

[00:10:50]>> I like this thing.

[00:10:51]>> And you can make popcorn in here?

[00:10:53]>> Yeah, it works. Yeah.

[00:10:55]>> It's not for display.

[00:10:56]>> So, you just you just you bring your kernels?

[00:10:59]>> Uh-huh.

[00:10:59]>> Okay.

[00:11:01]This is so so >> [music] [singing] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] >> This is cute. I like this um Wait, let me get a better view.

[00:11:59]Spacious.

[00:12:00]>> Yeah.

[00:12:01]>> Okay, great. Oh, this is lovely.

[00:12:03]>> spacious.

[00:12:04]>> This is really lovely.

[00:12:07]Really nice.

[00:12:09]Okay.

[00:12:12]Cool. Okay, this beautiful.

[00:12:15]>> Yeah, the owner had just redid the kitchen bathroom and sanded everything like 2 years ago.

[00:12:21]>> Dishwasher. [clears throat] I feel like lately I've just been looking at everything Oh, nice.

[00:12:27]>> That's the microwave.

[00:12:28]>> That's great. Like clears the space.

[00:12:30]>> Yeah, so it clears the space.

[00:12:31]>> Yeah, beautiful.

[00:12:32]Um I feel like lately I just look at apartments and like there's always one thing. No dishwasher, no living room.

[00:12:41]It's crazy.

[00:12:42]>> You know, rents have gone up significantly in the past just like 4 or 5 years.

[00:12:47]>> Yeah.

[00:12:48]For sure.

[00:12:51]I know.

[00:12:52]It's actually >> 30% >> It's ridiculous. It's This is lovely.

[00:12:57]>> Yeah, it's pretty cool. It's the best exposure >> Yeah.

[00:13:01]Okay.

[00:13:02]>> But you have that lot that hasn't been developed for 40 years.

[00:13:05]>> Uh-huh.

[00:13:05]>> Uh it's always sunny, you know, on the uh >> Yeah.

[00:13:08]>> on that side. And you have the new cafe downstairs that's really >> that.

[00:13:12]Very cute.

[00:13:15]It's nice to have that like community.

[00:13:16]People go there often. Yeah, it's >> You get out of the apartment, you walk down the street.

[00:13:21]>> I saw that. Yeah.

[00:13:22]>> You have a few pizza spots, there's a shops around, you have uh Trader Joe's on Fiona 59th.

[00:13:28]>> You speak my language. Yes. Excellent.

[00:13:30]Like everything is right here. Yeah.

[00:13:32]>> The location is great.

[00:13:34]Uh it's huge. You have a king-size bedroom.

[00:13:38]>> Wow. Okay, we do have a king-size bed.

[00:13:40]So, actually this is a really good selling point. And there's a closet.

[00:13:43]>> Yeah. [laughter] Yeah.

[00:13:45]The entire wall is built like this. Walk in here, and then there's a >> Oh, two two closets inside the bedroom.

[00:13:53]Okay. So, yeah, it's like a walk-in, but it's just you know allocated a little bit differently. Very deep closets.

[00:13:59]Excellent.

[00:14:01]How much is this one?

[00:14:02]>> Uh where are we 41?

[00:14:04]>> 41?

[00:14:05]>> 41.

[00:14:07]Mhm.

[00:14:10]>> We looked at one bedrooms, two bedrooms, a place with a pool in Long Island City, a two-bedroom on the Upper West Side where the bedroom couldn't fit the bed.

[00:14:20]He let go of the big kitchen, and he let go of the gym. Those were his, and he gave them up.

[00:14:29]He's going to put in an application for Sutton Place.

[00:14:32]And if the timing is right, and all goes well, we'll all be living in the same area, which will make all of our lives easier, I think.

[00:14:44]We'll see.