STOP WITH THE LIES... Natural Hair Rant!

Added: 2026-05-08

[00:00:00]You guys, I am going to make my hair.

[00:00:02]I'm going with my kids actually. We're going to all make our hair today. And there's this conversation that has been going on about natural hair that I would like to jump in. Okay, I would like to jump into that conversation because I feel like all the takes I have been seeing a lot of people are either being insensitive or senseless or you know are being dishonest, right?

[00:00:29]So when they are giving their points whether they support or they against it they are not being honest about what they are saying or let me just say they are saying their truth which is not you know universally true because I happen to fall into the category of people who know how to do their natural hair, know how to style it, know how to grow it, know how to take care of it but still do not like to carry your natural hair most times because it is not easy to grow, to style, to maintain. Let's call a spade a spade. Because I see people on both sides saying things like, "Oh, the reason why we don't carry natural hair out is because it's very difficult to maintain. It's very difficult to style.

[00:01:13]We don't know how to style it." And I don't agree with that because it is actually, let me not say easy. It's not easy to style. But the problem with most people that say that is that they are trying to get their natural hair to act like obo hair, right? So they are trying to slick down edges. They're trying to do you know coily bouncy twist all those twister all those jelly coil like they what do they call it? All those packing gel want to do packing gel ponytail whatever with your natural hair. All those things if you try to make your natural hair you know act like one one A 1 B 1 C hair is it? No, one type one 2 A 2 B 2C or you want to make your natural hair act like straight hair, it is going to be very difficult for you to do that.

[00:01:59]Okay. Um yeah, and most people that say things like oh natural hair doesn't look good is not professional. I'm like please stop lying this 26. Nobody is stopping you from getting any job because you're kind of natural hair.

[00:02:12]Like let's stop. We have women that are in upper echelons of the society. We have women who are world leaders, you know, world leaders that are carrying your natural hair. Like look at you, Manda. Look at you know all those what's that woman's name? All those we allow those women. Sh. We have women that are even in fashion, in business, all of that kind of natural hair and nobody is stopping them from doing it.

[00:02:37]In your workplace, nobody cares about your natural hair. The only reason why they might look at you sideways is if you don't take care of it. And by taking care of it, I don't mean if you don't turn it to like straight hair. I mean if you do not like wash it, maybe your hair is smelling or your hair has length and all of those things in it. Yes, they might side eye you. But for the most part, majority of the the world, nobody really cares about natural hair anymore.

[00:03:01]In some white countries, they might just look at it funny or, you know, be amazed by it, but they are not stopping you from getting a job because your natural hair is unprofessional. In fact, the people who complain about the look of natural hair the most are black women.

[00:03:15]Okay? They are black women. You guys see my kids here. My kids have the same hairstyle 90% of the time. Okay? Like in fact 90% 90% of the time my kids have the same hairstyle. And when they were even younger, it was worse when they were younger. Especially when they just like one year, two years. I just spray the hair with water, do the hair like this, put leave-in conditioner, do the hair like this, okay? Put a band if I feel like it and they out the door. But it was always black women. It was always, you know, people around me that will say things like, "Oh, why don't you go and make your kids hair? Why your kids hair not made? Why your kids hair looking like this?" And I'm like, "My kids hair are made." Like their hair is made. I don't know what you want them to do again. Their hair is made. I don't say my kids have full long, you know, juicy hair because I don't do too much.

[00:03:59]I don't try to do every time your child is going from one one attachment to the other. Right now, this is no shade to anybody. Like if you if it's fine if you can if you I mean it's fine if that's what you want for your child if you don't really care. That's totally fine.

[00:04:12]However, do not say you are doing that because natural hair is difficult to carry or it's not it's not nice or it's not good looking. That's not true. It's because you have been conditioned to like extra neat hair. My kids hair the salon I go to aluchi one time was that's the owner of Aluchi, right? She was telling me that I'm one of the like unicorns in their salon that, you know, bring their child and I'm always saying, "Oh, I don't want the hair to be kneede. I don't want the hair to be tight. I don't really care." Most moms want every single strand on their children's hair to be picked. And that's okay for those moms, right? But you can't want that or you can't ask for that and then you still wonder why your child's hair is not growing. Because news flash, when they are picking every strand, these hair, the strands are breaking off. It doesn't matter the hairstyle you put it in. When you start picking every strand and making the hair tight and neat, those strands are breaking off. When you are brushing and combing and combing and combing hair so that the hair can align and all the hair can straighten and beneath, those hairs are cutting off. All those crack you hear when you're combing hair. It is the hair cutting off. When you are always straightening your hair blow like you're having heat damage when you you wash your hair and it doesn't shrink as much that is heat damage. Okay? So, you have to choose one. You either you either my point is just be honest about it. See if it's your full chest that I don't care about the natural hair look. I want my child to have sleek hair. I want my child to have extra loose hair. And I understand that this is why my child's hair is not growing. Not because natural hair, you know, is is doesn't grow.

[00:05:41]Natural hair doesn't is not like hair that grows long. Our hair actually grows at the same pace with people's hair. The problem that we have is maintaining the length. It is easier. I will agree it is easier for them to maintain length because their hair is long and the sebum from their scalp goes down the shaft of their hair and keeps their hair moisturized and they even produce more sebum than us. Okay. I don't know. Yes, they do. Well, I don't know about sebum production but I know that they are naturally more moisturized than us.

[00:06:07]Okay. They have more Yes, they have more sebum than us. I don't know. Yeah, whatever. Anyway, the point is that their hair stays moisturized for longer because their strands are long and straight and the sebum from their scalp good. That's why two three days their hair becomes greasy. They have to go and wash their hair again. Unlike us that two three days our hair becomes dry. We have to now natural we have to now artificially remisturize our hair all the time. If not your hair will cut off and you cannot moisturize your hair properly when your hair is in protective styles is in cornrows is in attachment is in wigs is in that is in sewins. You cannot effectively moisturize or cleanse or wash your hair whatever right? So the point is that don't say it's because natural hair does not grow. Don't say it because natural hair does not grow long.

[00:06:52]Don't say it because natural hair does not look neat. Just accept that it's because that is not what that's not your aesthetics. Okay? And that's totally fine. Okay? So, um yeah, for me personally, when I even watch all these videos of, you know, salons that show very neat hairstyles, I appreciate it for what it is, but it irritates my eyes when I see especially children. When they make extra neat hair on children is a me thing. I'm not saying that it should be irritating to you but it's a me thing because I have my own issues that I am using to it's on that lens I'm judging the hair right so my own issues is that I have sensitive scalp very sensitive scalp I have scalp issues as well I don't have injustice I not to say I have I have I don't have but my scalp can be sensitive my scalp is can be what is it seahur datetis prone or psoricis prone right I don't know which one I think um my trologist said it was seabber dramatic. Okay.

[00:07:49]Anyway, so because I have that and I also have quas forcy kinky texture. You guys look at my hair. This is not dread though. This is not dread. This is normal twist. This is not dread. I've already parted my hair but you guys would have seen it. This is not dreads.

[00:08:04]This is just normal twist. Right? So I have very fussy kinky hair and I now have sensitive scalp. Right? So those two things do not match. Like my my texture and my scalp are fighting each other. Right? I also get inflamed. My scalp also gets gets inflamed and this inflammation leads to more pain when I'm dealing with my natural hair and also leads to hair loss. Like I can literally tell you when my edges are about to go.

[00:08:28]I have some edges now, right? I have some edges now, but whenever I get that inflammation, I can just tell you that whenever when I the next hair wash day or whatever, you will see that my most of my edges are gone. So those are things I'm still trying to deal with.

[00:08:40]They're now under control because the tririccologist um Oluchi has been helping me with it. Okay. So, she has been you know treating my hair and all of that even using herbs and all those things right. So, it's now under control but lifestyle change stress things like that you see my scalp just get inflamed.

[00:08:57]So, because of how my scalp is and how I feel when they're making my hair when I see other kids that they making their hair so neat. I don't I don't get it like it just I I I find it hard to reconcile the fact that and again my three kids as well two of them have you know same sensitive scalp. Okay. So Kora is tender-headed. Although Kora's texture is a I think Kora has like 4B some 4 C hair, but her hair is mostly 4B, right? And she's tender-headed.

[00:09:23]Sophia on the other hand is my texture.

[00:09:25]Like Sophia said, there's no space. Like her hair is cool and thick and you know, very very quiet, very very coily coily, right? So I think Sophia has fy not I think she has fy hair and her scalp is also tender. In fact, her scalp squeeze squeezes like my own scalp. She's kind of scalp that if you if you do like thread on it. You cannot care for a headache, you're going to injure the person's scalp because my her scalp squeeze. So even when I pack her hair, I have to pack her hair very loosely. If not, you just see folds in her scalp, right? Eva Eva has 4 a 4 B hair. But Eva's hair strands, I think Eva actually has 4 B, but Eva's hair strands are very fine, right? But her scalp is not tender. So because her scalp is not tender and she has very fine strands, her hair does not grow as long as her sister's hair. Okay? Because when you go to salon and they're making the hair and you're not complaining, you're not crying, they go, they come and they go, you know, at least this new salon now, they trying her hair has been okay. It hasn't grown much longer, but her hair is okay, right? To be honest, when I take out my kids hair, their hair grows the longest when I take care of it, right? And the corora was telling me that oh she remembers when we first went to natural hair salon when we came back to Nigeria how they were screaming and crying because they are used to when I'm making their hair we'll be ging we'll be laughing we'll be eating we'll be watching TV some even be sleeping off and things like that only for you to now go to somewhere where when you just try to press something try to just play one game on your laptop they just do crown that's what she was saying you just hear cr they just you know comb your hair so whenever I take care of my kids hair even's hair it grows longer than you know normal right but I'm fine with you know how their hair is taking care of is being taken care of right now. Like I won't come and kill myself. Okay, I'm fine with it. Anyway, so all that to say that when I see people who say things like, "Oh, natural hair doesn't grow.

[00:11:08]Natural hair or genetics is this that is a lie, my sister." Now, you no one just take care of your your hair or your child's hair. Okay, it's not genetics.

[00:11:16]Yes, genetics has a little role to play.

[00:11:18]Very tiny role to play. Very tiny role to play because whenever we go to nonsense salons and other people do my kids hair, their hair cuts when I do their hair, their hair grows. So, it's not necessary role to play. But how you maintain the hair is the problem. So just agree that na they spoil your peing hair because you want your child to have very neat you know and that kind of aesthetics. Long hair, straight hair, all those kind of things. That's what you want. Even relaxing of hair. That's what you want. Not because the hair cannot be taken care of, okay? It's because that's your aesthetics. Now let's go back. Let's go over to the other side. And that's people who say things like, "Oh, the reason why um you don't um cut your natural hair out is because you don't know how to take care of your natural hair. Natural hair is actually easy to take care of. Natural hair is actually easy to style. Natural hair is actually easy to maintain. Now, you know, sabi maintain blah blah blah blah blah." And I'm like, "Hold up, hold up, hold up, sister, rest." Okay. Now, that might be true for a lot of people, but it's not true in all cases. Okay?

[00:12:18]Look at me for example. Like I told you, you guys have seen me now. I've grown Kora's hair. Somebody asked me in my last video what happened to Ka's hair cuz I text lasted it at some point. Yes.

[00:12:27]Out of frustration, the child was always crying. She has tender scalp and I was spending if I if I didn't want her to, you know, cry up uncomfortable. I will spend the whole day making her hair like literally the whole day. I wake up in the morning around 8:00, start washing, start doing this or that one. By time for sometimes it spills into the next day. I might finish washing one day cuz you know I have other things to be doing. Then the next day I'll make the hair. So I was getting frustrated and when I now try to do her hair quickly, not even in a hurry or not even like nor salon just quickly. By quickly I mean maybe finish everything in one day.

[00:12:55]She'll be crying. She'll be you know crying then she was just five. I think she she was about to turn five. She'll be crying like somebody's using knife to choke her hair. So I was like you know what let's just go and text this hair right. So I texted the hair and I quickly regretted it. Like I won't even say I quickly regretted it but I was over it after I texted her hair and then I wanted to transition back. I noticed that she wasn't even disturbing for the hair as much as before. Like she wasn't really um as you know cranky. So I think that if I had just waited it out and she had maybe turned six, right? Because that five like around that age was when it was worse. But I feel like if I had just allowed her, we just continued until she turned six. I wouldn't have been pushed to text her hair. Okay. But when I text Ka's hair, Ka's hair was getting to below bra strap. I mean her bra strap, that's where Kora's hair got to, right? And now her hair has grown almost down to that length again. Men, we cut her hair. If you guys watch my videos in June of 2023, we actually cut Cora's hair. We had to transition her back to natural hair. And we cut her hair. In fact, we didn't even transition for long because it was very difficult to maintain straight hair and I just told them just cut it. Okay. She carried short hair for a long time. I don't know if you guys saw it, you know, or were paying attention at that point. She car now the hair has grown long back. Okay.

[00:14:07]And mind you, when I was in the UK, I was the one doing her hair. That was because we left 2023, came back last year. I wasn't doing her hair. So, her hair I grew her hair for the most part to that length again. Now, her hair is like almost at bra strap length or even at bra strap length at this point. No, it's not it's not yet there, but I think it's almost at bra strap length. This is just like 2 years after, right? Or going to 3 years. Anyway, so the point is that it's not that I don't know how to take care of my children's hair. I know how to take care of my children's hair and I don't care about oh knit hair or making the hair act like a bow hair or making the hair look like whatever. I don't care. My own is once you wash your hair, moisturize it, put it in twist, we are good to go. Even when they go to school, we just brush edges and we are good to go. Even that brushing of edges, we don't add product to keep the edges. We brush the edges. If the edges decide to spiral back before you leave the leave the door, okay, good and fine. Carry your head and go, you know. So I know how to do my own hair as well. If I decide to make my hair my job, my business e, I will open natural hair channel. Okay, I will open natural hair channel because my natural hair if I take care of it and I treat my scalp very well and I don't have all this inflammation and stuff. My natural hair is just kind of hair that people used to see and be like, "Oh wow. Oh wow." Yes, that's a natural hair is even though it's like kinky fy like the corsy. when you maintain this very well and make really nice hairstyles with it, it looks like it looks like we've like attachment almost like Kora's hair as well. Right?

[00:15:31]So, if I decide to maintain my hair and call this my job, my hair will be very nice and I know how to do this. However, it is not easy. Like, can we stop lying?

[00:15:40]It is not easy. If you want to do a proper proper wash, moisturize, and you know, put your hair in a protective style or just a nice hairstyle, it will take you the whole day. But some people are going to tell you that, oh, it's not it's not difficult. It's not difficult.

[00:15:53]It's because that's their job. Their job, they are literally natural hair channels. They're literally natural hair pages. They're literally doing that. All they do on the channel is natural hair.

[00:16:01]So, of course, of course, you're going to be saying it's easy to maintain, it's easy to do. It is not easy. Okay. Now, note the difference between the two people I was talking about. These people are saying it's not doable because they have a certain aesthetics they are going for, right? While this on this side and I'm telling you that those I'm telling those people that it is doable. Now the people on this side are telling you that it is easy. No, it is doable but it is not easy. Let's stop lying. Especially if you have like really really fsy hair.

[00:16:29]I'm not talking about people that people come me and they will say oh my f look at the like this is 4 a hair now. What I talking about? Like I can literally see spirals.

[00:16:37]It's giving bomish coils and telling me this is this is in fact 3C that you're telling me this is um um 4C hair. Right.

[00:16:44]Anyway, the point is that and I know that if you wash your hair regularly and take care of your hair regularly, even the fy the kinkiest of fy hair will not be that bad to maintain, right? It will be easier, but it will not be easy. It will not be as easy as slapping a wig on your head. Let's stop. Can we stop? Can we just be honest? It is not as easy as slapping a wig on your head. People say, "Oh, but you take your time to take care of your wigs." My wigs, this my this is coily hair wig. Let me bring it cuz I'm just talking too much. This is coily hair wig, right? Yes. The day I I filmed the video, I spray the water and I put mousse on it. But this wig now, every day, anytime I want to wear it, I literally just, you see how I took it from there. Now I literally take my put on my head and I am out the door. The only time I remurize my hair most times, my wig most time is when I want to wash it or when, let's say, it has become very very scattered and I start working on it. But normal day when I come out from work or I say for work, when I come out from anywhere I go to, I hang my wig. When I'm ready to go out, I put on my head and I'm good. I'm good to go. I might just spray it and do the hair like this. But I can't do that with my natural hair. Let's let's be honest. I beg. We know the lie to ourselves. I can't do that with my natural hair. If I do that with my natural hair, my natural hair will cut tire. Except I want to maintain dread. But even with dreads, it's not that easy. You have to moisturize your hair very well. You have to be careful not to you know add lengths to your hair or you know your hair to have lengths. You have to be careful how you protect your It is a lot is my point. Okay. It's a lot. So I understand people who don't want to go through all of that. I understand them.

[00:18:08]So the point is everybody just do you.

[00:18:10]Okay. Everybody just do you but be honest about why you are doing you.

[00:18:15]That's it. That's just my own. So in case you do not understand the reason for this my you know whole talk the reason I am giving this talk is that I feel like people are not be honest. Okay so just hold it with your full chest that my natural hair is my job is my business or is my passion to do my natural hair may not even be your job.

[00:18:33]Maybe you're not even making money from it right but you have passion for natural hair. Maybe you don't have as much responsibilities as other people.

[00:18:39]Maybe you don't have kids or maybe you don't have or even if you have kids maybe your kids are grown you know like it's not easy do you know that I have three daughters first of all maybe you have just one daughter I have three daughters just my own hair that's four if I didn't have a salon like to go and make my hair in now so I go there yeah do they do and if I say oh let me go to regular salon if you go to regular salon they will destroy your hair they will finish your hair trust me even some natural hair salons I said what I said some natural hair salons if you go there they will destroy your hair and that's why I'm very particular about somebody who specializes in children's hair, natural children hair, and has grown her own children's hair very long and has grown other people's hair very long and I've seen track record. That's why I'm particular about it. If I had come here and I maybe she didn't have a salon or whatever, but I didn't see someone like that. I for do my children's hair myself because I'm not going to regular salon and I'm not going to any natural hair salon where my children will be crying making their hair. I'm not going to do that. Then you now that means that the time I'm supposed to use and rest and watch do other things and you know relax and you know eat or whatever or film or you know do my job I'll be using to make natural hair. Come on now. Like it's not easy. So yeah, it's doable but it's not easy. And if anybody decides that they don't it's not for them, that's totally fine. Yes, a lot of people that decide it's not for them. You have been conditioned by the society. That's the truth. You have been conditioned because what do you mean the hair that grow your hair is is ugly. You have been conditioned. Me I know I've been conditioned because I am more inclined to wear a wig out than to cut my natural hair out. In fact, it got to a point where my actual hair is this length because I was cutting it. I was literally anytime I want to you know wash my hair and twist it I cut it because I didn't want to be doing that you be opening hair opening hair opening hair opening hair then you not brushing hair brush I didn't want that so I started cutting my hair so that it's easy for me to just open it and just brush it out. I started doing that okay so we have been conditioned to like sleek hair. We have been conditioned to like long hair because my kids hair as much as they my kids hair they all long they don't look long because they shrink because they're healthy right? So we've been conditioned to like longl looking hair. We've been conditioned to like people's hair. And all those people that come and say things like it's cultural appropriation for a people to be making um twists or you know braids and all that is cultural appropriation. Then when they now say okay but you that you are carrying bone straights you that you are carrying bise coils. You that you are carrying you know what's the water wave is that your natural is that is that is that not cultural appropriation?

[00:20:56]Then you will now see the liars. liars from the pit of hell that come and say it is not cultural appropriation because like wearing a blonde wig is not cultural appropriation because there are people in Africa that have naturally blonde hair. I'M LIKE YOU ARE SUCH a liar. What is wrong with you?

[00:21:18]Jesus getting our fear here. What is wrong with you? How can you lie like that? Yes, we have people who have naturally blonde hair, but these people are so few that it is not a factor. It's the same way we have actually white people who have very kinky curly hair.

[00:21:35]Yes, we have white people who have like 4 A, 4 B hair, even fy hair or at least people that are mixed. But we have pure white people who have but we use that one and say yes, white people to also have fy hair. No. Now, why you why you why you doing that? Okay, because we have a a a a sector of the population or a segment or a tiny sector. What? What's the word? English has left me now.

[00:21:55]Anyway, we have a tiny part of population that has blue eyes. You now say Africans have blue eyes. Are you a joker? What are you talking about?

[00:22:03]I know someone when I was growing up, I in my school that had one blue, one green eyes. And she's an African, right?

[00:22:08]So, because of her, I now say now Africans have one blue, one green eyes.

[00:22:12]Come on now. Like, let's just be honest about this thing, right? So the same way you call it cultural appropriation when they wear you know Ghana braids and they call it fani braids or whatever they call it or whatever or they braid their hair or whatever. The same way you call cultural appropriation it is the same way cultural appropriation to be carrying straight long hair. Whether you appropriating white culture or Indian culture or or or Spanish culture or you know whatever Mongolian culture you are appropriating another person's culture because it is not normal for us to have sleek straight bones black blonde hair.

[00:22:44]Like, come on now.

[00:22:46]Why are you lying? Why are you lying?

[00:22:49]Anyway, um yeah, everybody, let's just be honest about that conversation. It's fine. It's okay if that's not what you want for your hair. It's not what you want for your children's hair. Okay?

[00:22:57]Like, I mean, come on. It's your hair.

[00:22:59]Even this whole conversation about, you know, um relaxing hair and all of that.

[00:23:03]I've seen those studies. I've heard those, you know, talks about, oh, natural hair, um relaxers cause fibroids and, you know, some of these things in black women. And you know, as much as I understand that, I also understand why some people don't care because it's making their life easier. So, they don't care. But cuz the moment I read that thing, I was just like, okay. Funny enough, there are some conditions to it. They will tell you, oh, that if you don't put the relaxer on your scalp, if you relax your hair like you know, less than three times a year and all of that that not your likelihood of developing fibroid is reduced, right?

[00:23:37]Or even cancer. I think it's even uterine cancer. I'm not sure that your likelihood of having all those things reduces. I agree. I accept. I understand. However, if there is a chance that if my child does this thing or if I do on my child, it will cause that or myself to cause that. I'm going to do them again. Okay. So, even text laxer, the truth is that I didn't even really understand that texters are actually just relaxers just a milder version of relaxer. But they are still relaxers, right? So, I feel like I have my so I didn't understand that when I and the moment I understood this, I stopped, right? And I even told you guys that, you know, we're going back to natural hair. I cut her hair here. I filmed. I showed you guys, right? So, at the end of the day is what it is.

[00:24:15]Everybody do with your hair what you will. But don't come online and on camera be telling the other party stories that touch be giving us boo bow dash. You open camera with your full chest be talking jazz talking OP. But yeah, I'm going to now. Okay, let's just go. This was supposed to be a vlog, but I'm going to put out this video like