Is Lonelyness Natural Selection

Ajouté : 2026-05-25

[00:00:00]Well, we're back. The void beckons once more. And now we're going to talk about today today's topic which is loneliness and how some people think that it is natural selection that you are not being selected by other people. And we're going to dissect that and see if that's true or not. And you know I like the old Bible saying the neat shall inherit the earth.

[00:00:25]I know that's not what it really says, but we could only hope that one day us and niece will inherit the earth. And what's crazy is that while you're bedrotting in your room overthinking, your looks match is out there becoming Tyrone's fourth baby mama. And bro doesn't even have a job or anything other than three felonies to his name.

[00:00:43]So what's stopping you? Honestly, it's people that have the audacity that have the easiest time making friends. And for me, it seems that I'm just touch starved and I resent needing people. We as men and women don't want don't trust each other anymore. And it's created a lot of hardship in our lives. And I'm positively flumxed how someone doesn't just walk into the government with an automatic rifle because on top of everything else, we need money to go out and then we don't have the money to go out and then we don't have the time to go out if we're working. And the deeper we go into loneliness, the more entrenched we into shared psychosis we all become. I feel like acknowledging that everything is fake and gay and now we are systematically lied to is liberating because the system is [ __ ] It's fake.

[00:01:36]And it seems that what's interesting to me is that the boomers had the audacity to become hippies, dismantle monogamy, and then by the '9s double back and become the very people they swore they would never be.

[00:01:49]And only after dismantling dating and finding a partner do they blame and question us for not having kids.

[00:01:57]It's kind of funny because I feel like they dismantle the establishment to the point where modern dating has become impossible.

[00:02:05]And I think that was all by design. We can't really just blame the boomers. But I don't think humans are that great at natural selection anyway. If we're going to go back to the topic natural selection, look at all the ugly people with genetic diseases because people are just out here being sick and chopped and deciding to hit it raw for some reason.

[00:02:24]They say that one of the traits that women select for in men is uh impulsivity.

[00:02:32]And I feel like loneliness is self-caused or the if you think if you believe that loneliness is self-caused, it's kind of like victim blaming in a way. And while it may be true for some, it isn't true for all. Me personally, I just stay alive in spite of the social Darwinism crowd. Having the audacity keeps me existing as a neat and it is my biggest flex that I am surviving out of pure spite.

[00:03:02]I am naturally unselectable.

[00:03:06]I've known this since I was very young and that I'm an unpickable person.

[00:03:11]I've never really fit in with the people around me. I've always felt like they were really trashy and really petty and I I aspired for more. I just didn't fit in. It's no it's no assessment to say that I'm better than them because I didn't fit in.

[00:03:28]But in all honesty, it really does affect me because I never found my people. I never found my tribe. I kept hoping I would find my tribe. And in this back of my mind, I had this dread that that that I might never find them.

[00:03:41]And in the end, it turned out to be true.

[00:03:44]We are honestly nuclear levels of cooked. If you haven't found someone by 25, it seems that you probably never will.

[00:03:50]We've really gone from being naturally selected as partners to being to by our looks match to getting offed by natural selection itself.

[00:03:59]And the whole if you're lonely, it's your fault completely ignores generations of systems built to create the current climate.

[00:04:06]I can honestly say I'm 33 years old and I rely on my imagination to not feel so lonely. I feel like maladaptive daydreaming is my best friend at this point. I became addicted to illusion when I could not survive, let alone thrive. in this deception of reality because I feel like I've been deceived by the people that came before me.

[00:04:29]And I should have been focusing on different things rather than university and all this [ __ ] I wish I could actually put myself out there instead of just imagining having friends, but it seems like the fix that I get from my imagination is far superior than the real thing. Except that it's not really. But I feel like maladapt maladaptive daydreaming, if you know what that is, is where you basically imagine an alternative world and you're in control of everything.

[00:04:58]I wish I was a snake so that I didn't need others. I wish I was a snake so that I didn't have to eat and that I didn't need other people to survive.

[00:05:06]I like how snakes are so independent.

[00:05:09]So many partners don't want to see you prevail. And that's one of the things that I'm worried about is that I'd be torn down by a partner.

[00:05:15]When one is lonely and has no people around, the only thing left to keep you company is your own mind and imagination. On paper, it seems like a good alternative, but it's a short-term solution that causes more problems.

[00:05:28]If you live in your head more than reality, you lose the resilience and the grit that it takes to live as a normal person amongst other humans within real life.

[00:05:39]I've had many troubles in life, most of which never happened. I feel like I've imagined most of my problems.

[00:05:46]Through daydreaming, you continue or you convince yourself you are preparing, but in reality, you're actually procrastinating and avoiding.

[00:05:56]So really, daydreaming is not preparation.

[00:06:00]It's not planning. It's just a way to avoid real life.

[00:06:05]I mourned the friends I could have had if I wasn't controlled by fear, anxiety and anxiety as a teenager because being a teenager is the prime time in your life to make friends. And I was so afraid of like getting abused or shated or bullied that I avoided all people in general. And because I lacked discernment because of my neurode divergence and having a hard time reading people, I just avoided all people in general.

[00:06:28]But clarity doesn't come from thinking.

[00:06:30]It comes from action. Being alone can become addicting because you don't have to worry about solving the problems that come from human relationships. There is no rejection or fallouts or drama. Just you doing whatever the [ __ ] you want to do.

[00:06:45]I wish I didn't need people. It's a seriously inconvenient need to have.

[00:06:50]But still, I don't bother with big groups and even trying to build community because it's rarely safe to do so. When I was community seeking and I wanted to build community, I felt betrayed, ignored, disrespected, and taken advantage of. Like some people could sense my desperation for connection and used it against me.

[00:07:10]And honestly, I can see why both sexes have given up on dating. It seems to me that as a woman, most guys only want nudes and casual sex, and women want to date you unless you are in the top tax bracket.

[00:07:23]And sometimes I wonder about the validity of marriage. If a married woman gets cancer, her husband is seven times more likely to leave than if it was the other way around.

[00:07:34]And it just seems like marriage drains the life out of women. It seems like the alternative to marriage, I mean, if there was like eligible people for marriage out there and we were also easily able to find our our one, then it would be worth it. But I feel like most of the time marriage doesn't work in the first place.

[00:07:55]And I've seen so many divorces. I've seen more divorces than I've seen weddings. It seems most people get married for superficial reasons like society's expectations. And honestly, I'm tired of the influencers who tell us to just strive, achieve, do, flex, and never miss out cuz I'm glad we can just come here and have an ordinary conversation.

[00:08:18]By the time I was 20, I felt like I had wasted 80 years of my life and I had no idea how to change my situation, especially the social isolation. And because of that, paired with not knowing what action to take, nothing has changed over 10 years later.

[00:08:33]I feel like I've stagnated in a lot of ways because I just don't know what to do. I feel like I need someone to take me by the hand and show me what to do.

[00:08:41]And I'm not going to lie, I've been in my sag girl era for too long. I haven't made any moves this past year to change my social situation and that's what needs to happen. I need a plan. I can't blame myself entirely though. Um through the ages of 18 and 28, I dealt with chronic pain and health problems and I've spent the last 5 years catching my breath and conilelesing from this absolute obstacle in my life. But there is more I can do to meet people. That much is true. But honestly, I don't leave my house much these days. My home is my comfort zone and shelter from the wicked world. And I enjoy the solitude most of the time. I just wish I had people to call on and hang out with every so often. Feeling like no one would check for you if something happened is a scary feeling.

[00:09:28]But honestly, I'm completely tired of the general population.

[00:09:33]When you are getting to know someone, it is such a chore. They can flake foot you at the bill or just reject your ghost.

[00:09:42]It seems not worth mo not worth the effort most of the time. And as far as meeting new people at work goes, it seems that the workplace is just an extension of the high school cafeteria.

[00:09:53]And maybe it's strange that I talk freely online to a camera, but feel scared and stifled when it comes to face to face interactions. But even before social media, I was the person that no one talked to. Social media only verified that my classmates didn't [ __ ] with me.

[00:10:12]Nothing wrong with keeping my orbit small, I guess.

[00:10:18]But like I said, social media just verified that I didn't have friends.

[00:10:22]I've always had like the least amount of Facebook friends out of everybody, and that just did nothing but make things feel worse. It reduces the jealous actions and drama of other people if you don't use social media, I guess.

[00:10:35]I used to be productive and energetic when I was in high school, or at least it seemed that way. Now I feel disorganized and foggy and like I don't have any energy to make new friends to begin with.

[00:10:46]When I think about the sustained effort that friendship takes, I feel so overwhelmed that I don't even want to start because I feel like I won't be able to maintain it in the first place. Not to mention everything is so performative and fake.

[00:11:01]Most of the time it seems that negative outweighs the positive when it comes to friendships.

[00:11:07]I feel like I am missing out on a lot by staying to myself, but at the same time, I'm protected by avoiding people. And just because you put yourself out there doesn't mean you'll have any results that are worthwhile or any payoff.

[00:11:22]People only respect the struggles that you overcome, not the ones that you are constantly present, not not the not the ones that are constantly in your life, not the ones that are present and affecting you today. It seems that people literally only like the underdog if it the underdog becomes a success.

[00:11:37]Nobody likes the underdog when the underdog is the underdog.

[00:11:42]Sometimes I feel like I am on autopilot and the coordinates are other people's expectations of me. I've been feeling lost since I turned 18 and I don't know how to build the skills needed to have friends and relationships.

[00:11:59]I am a D1 procrastinator and selfisolator.

[00:12:03]We honestly have been in the same we have we haven't been the same since CO and even if I get eight hours of sleep and take my vitamins, I still feel exhausted ever since getting CO.

[00:12:14]And when I think about it, Jesus never married. And even he was betrayed by his closest allies. He knew that it would happen, but he still couldn't stop it.

[00:12:24]And I feel like betrayal is just so inherent in human relationships is almost not worth it. I honestly feel like an old woman already. I I am always tired and in a bad mood no matter what I try to do. Finding the motivation to start my day is like a boss battle.

[00:12:41]Life just doesn't work out for some people and it just doesn't like bad luck and being fundamentally undesirable are both very real factors that most people don't even want to talk about or consider.

[00:12:53]But it's not the quality of pe the quantity of people. It's the quality of people they say. But these days I don't have either one.

[00:13:04]I feel like I am too big to fit in the box that they are trying to squeeze me into. After years of contorting myself, I feel disfigured and like I have lost the core of who I am.

[00:13:16]Maybe I'm not broken. I'm just unboxed and no one and no one knows how to categorize me. Refusing to mask or shrink yourself is an act of integrity and self-love, but at the same time, it will land you getting rejected. I refuse to deny my true self and my relationships anymore. And maybe that's why they all fell away. It seems that because I focused on hobbies instead of relationships, I missed out on going to or or joining friend groups when they were still open to join. Relationships just seemed tedious compared to my interests. and the groups grew tighter. I got squeezed to margins.

[00:13:55]Basically, there were open friend groups in high school that I could have joined, but I was still so focused on like doing my hobbies and my special interests that I didn't realize that you couldn't just come and go from friend groups as you please. You had to be locked in and choose a tribe essentially. I just never understood the rules of socializing.

[00:14:14]But trees don't grow on society's timeline. and they grow in nature's timeline. And maybe I have grown more than I realize, but it's too gradual to notice.

[00:14:23]As far as stepping outside of my comfort zone goes, it often throws me into a panic. And it's not the cute and awkward growth moment for me. It's like a full-blown nervous system activation and trauma response. Like, my baseline stress tolerance is already different, and pushing me past it is not motivational. It's damaging.

[00:14:42]Sometimes I wonder if dissociating is a form of remote work.

[00:14:46]because I'm always associated it seems.

[00:14:51]Anyway guys, a late intro, but if you're new here, my name is Shelby. I exist and I make stuff. You guys can check out my support links below. Check out my Etsy for my artwork.

[00:15:03]Can leave a donation if you would like to or just a comment.

[00:15:09]I feel like I avoid a lot of drama by avoiding people, but I also avoid the most important parts of life.

[00:15:19]But there's one thing that's for sure.

[00:15:20]I'm sick of being treated like I'm defective. People speak slowly to me, antagonize me, and everything to make my life as miserable as possible just because I am disregulated or reactive.

[00:15:32]I live in a world that has never held me, that has only given me demands in order to avoid punishment. And it seems like I never can avoid the punishment. I feel shame when my emotions go over a certain threshold, especially outside of my control. Shame is such a [ __ ] especially when most of it isn't my fault. It's just the projection of other people. And nothing is real, and yet everything is. What if our entire life is just one AI universe? What if we are all prompts?

[00:16:04]I feel like that's kind of how I feel these days.

[00:16:12]I feel like I'm not even allowed to express my joy most of the time, unless it's in a way that's socially acceptable, in a way that the ops deem appropriate, let alone my truth or anger or sadness.

[00:16:24]As many of you know, suppression led to my autoimmune disease that almost killed me.

[00:16:30]In a strange way, the internal bleeding in my gut was the only emotional validation I had ever received. My physical illness made it real and it led to me to me having a broken brain that makes it hard for me to connect with people.

[00:16:52]You know, I feel like our our depression and anxiety is all manufactured by the system.

[00:17:00]A fish doesn't know it's swimming.

[00:17:03]And that means we take our ecosystem for granted. We don't really see it for what it is. Depression causes social isolation or does social social isolation cause depression? Either way, the lack of community bonds makes taking collective action more difficult.

[00:17:19]Everything that we consume perpetuates us becoming the most nerfed version of ourselves. Mainstream media shows us disasters daily, keeping us in fear and creating unity through collective trauma bond.

[00:17:31]The food is poisoned and everyone in this country is malnourished and fat.

[00:17:36]I honestly don't think I need medication. I need understanding and a life that doesn't perpetuate pain.

[00:17:44]It's so insulting and isolating when I'm asked by my family if I if I'm taking my medication just for, you know, shedding tears and having a bad day. My big emotions are pathized.

[00:17:56]How can we have freedom of expression in this country when our emotions are seen as diagnostic criteria?

[00:18:06]I recently had an appointment with a therapist and I don't want to go back because of how I was being seen as less than or beneath the therapist. She labeled everything that I said and decided to bust out the DSM just because I wanted someone to talk to. And I hate having to pay someone to talk to, you know?

[00:18:23]I feel like therapists are ops.

[00:18:26]Anything you say can and will be used against you. Blaming blaming my mental health for the state of my life gives my ops a free pass.

[00:18:36]As soon as you have the stamp of mental illness on your forehead, all allegations of mistreatment are discredited.

[00:18:43]Being hospitalized and medicated is just a way for them to invalidate you and control the narrative.

[00:18:52]kids who believe everything that they're told. We could literally still believe stuff that isn't true to this day, even about ourselves. That's kind of what I think about.

[00:19:02]Everyone knows the story of Gypsy Rose who is tricked into believing that she was deathly ill by her mother even though she wasn't. When you are told something enough times, you begin to believe it. And I feel like there is an element in my life that is similar to that. And in terms of all mental illness, we're not allowed to fight back and have been actively suppressed by the older generation.

[00:19:26]But I feel like I don't think that it's natural selection for everyone to be lonely. As terrified as I am of abuse, I'm almost I'm all also afraid of being alone, I guess, or just the ramifications of being alone because it's not very healthy to be alone all the time.

[00:19:54]Anyway, guys, if you're struggling with loneliness, let me know in the comments below.

[00:20:00]And I guess I will see you in the next one. I appreciate you guys. My birthday is coming up.

[00:20:06]Um, we might be doing something for that.

[00:20:13]And the thing is is that I don't know like I won't have any friends over obviously because I don't really have anyone to call. But it sucks.

[00:20:28]Being alone is a very dark place to be because you have no one to like bounce ideas off of.

[00:20:35]And when you need someone to talk to, there's no one there.

[00:20:41]But I appreciate you guys who reach out to me and connect with me. I'm just more primarily talking more about in real life. Like I have no one within like a 10 mile radius who I can call on really.

[00:20:53]And that's the roughest part of it.

[00:20:56]And I don't always want to be that person that's like pushing people to or like you know just venting for for the sake of venting and [ __ ] cuz venting is some [ __ ] Like I feel like if you vent too much people will be pushed away from you.

[00:21:18]But anyway, I guess I will see you guys in the next one and peace out. Bye-bye.