Animal Farm 2026 Burned My Crops

Added: 2026-05-12

[00:00:00]I'm making pork chops for dinner tonight. Deemed [music] appropriate given the stream subject l.

[00:00:05]>> I did have pork dumplings before I went to the theater. [laughter] >> Dude, do I have a tail for you? It's fine evening. I literally just got back from the theater half an hour ago. So, I am ready to talk about this turd. And as expected, it is a turd. But it's not even like it's not even offensive. It's more like why did you make this? It is the most incipid by the book children's film. It hits every like bad kids film beat and it [ __ ] up the original story of course. So Andy Circus has been trying to make this movie for 14 years and you can tell by the uh by the voice cast. [music] I feel I have been suspecting that this is a Rap City street kids believe in Santa situation where the dialogue must have been recorded like 10 years ago cuz this is a very strange star-studded cast for a 2026 movie. Like I'm sorry a lot of these people are not as popular as they once were. Uh before we go into the movie, I wanted to give you guys a little a little summary of the actual Animal Farm book. I figured this will be a learning this will be a learning opportunity, everyone. And thank you for the communist donuts, Billy Donuts. If this movie wasn't even about [ __ ] communism, I want to explain the plot of Animal Farm here. So, we start with old farmer. Maybe he wasn't old. We start with Farmer Jones.

[00:01:28]He's kind of a bastard. He's a drunk. He doesn't take very good care of his farm or his animals. He gets drunk every night. He forgets to feed them. And the animals have been meeting in the barn and listening to old major. Is this guy old Major is an old pig. He's been around for a while cuz he was a showbore. So he's like he's like 12 years old, which is ancient in pig pig years. He's the most respected on the farm. He's the eldest. He calls them all to the barn and says, "Is a pig not entitled to the sweat on his brow?"

[00:01:57]"No," says the man in the farmhouse.

[00:01:59]That's not really what he says. He basically gives them a whole communist rant. I have something to say. He's like, I won't be with you for much longer as I'm getting old. I've had time to lay alone in my stall and think. And he's like, what is the nature of our lives? Let let us face it. Our lives are miserable, laborious, and short. We are born. We are given just so much food as we'll keep the breath in our bodies. And those of us who are capable of it are forced to work to the last atom of our strength. And the very instant that our usefulness has come to an end, we are slaughtered with hideous cruelty. No animal in England knows the meaning of happiness or leisure after he is a year old. No animal in England is free. Life of animal is misery and slavery. That is the plain truth. So yeah, this is uh it's a very on the nose it's a very on the nose satirical allegory you will find. So basically old major gives them all a big speech saying you know you are entitled to the sweat on your brow. Uh you need we we should keep what we produce because we're just exploited. So all the animals think this is a good idea. He's saying he's saying there should be a rebellion probably sometime far in the future. A rebellion probably beyond my time cuz I'm going to be dead soon. So after old major tells them all that a rebellion is a good idea, he dies 3 days later in sleep. Farmer Jones neglects to feed the animals for days cuz he's just going out getting drunk coming home and going to sleep and he's not feeding them. So they all rebel. They chase him and all the farm hands off the farm. So ah away goes Mr. Jones. So the animals the next day after rebelling, they break all the chains and the the harnesses in the barn, they they break into the farmhouse and burn anything that reminds them of Mr. Jones. They all agree that they shouldn't live in the farmhouse. They shouldn't be like humans, cuz that's that's one thing old Major really drove home. I have little more to say. I merely repeat, remember always your duty of emnity toward man in all his ways.

[00:03:48]Whatever goes upon two legs is an enemy.

[00:03:51]Whatever goes upon four legs or has wings is a friend. And remember also that in fighting against man, we must not come to resemble him. Even when you have conquered him, do not adopt his vices. No animal must ever live in a house or sleep in a bed or wear clothes or drink alcohol or smoke tobacco or touch money or engage in trade. All the habits of man are evil. Above all, no animal must ever tyrannize over his own kind. Weak and strong, clever or simple, we are all brothers. No animal must kill any other animal. All animals are equal.

[00:04:25]A foreshadowing as a literary device.

[00:04:28]So, two pigs emerge after old major dies. We got Napoleon Snowball. These two can't agree on [ __ ] anything. The pigs quickly teach themselves to read and write. The other animals can't pick it up as quickly.

[00:04:42][music] Uh, the other animals are repeatedly called stupid in the book. It was written in the 40s though, but I think it's supposed to be more how people in power get control over the proletariat who are less educated and less concerned about policy and more concerned about [music] having food on their plate. So, I don't think Arl was saying like the underclasses and the proletariat are stupid. It is a over-the-top satire. The other farm animals besides the pigs all kind of represent various underclasses, the working class, stuff like that. The pigs learning to read and write and being the best at it decided uh we will we will distill major's uh teachings down to just seven commandments. The seven commandments are whatever goes upon two legs is an enemy.

[00:05:28]Whatever goes upon four legs or has wings is a friend. No animal shall wear clothes. No animal shall sleep in a bed.

[00:05:35]No animal shall drink alcohol. No animal shall kill any other animal. All animals are [music] equal. So that's about what old major said at the end of his big speech, but they're already sort of flattening his vision for the future after his death. He's like, "Marks are led in and Napoleon is like Stalin." You know, it's not really one to one, but you you can see where they're going. The thing is Orwell believed communism can work. Orwell was one of those communism can work, just nobody's done it right yet, and the people who are doing it are doing it wrong. You know, like Stalin. I disagree with that. I I find Animal Farm a good allegory of how communism will inevitably always end up. I'm far more cynical. Just keep in mind when Oral wrote this, he did believe communism could work. So, ignore me being kind of a [ __ ] about it. The other animals trust others to tell them what the commandments say. And because all of them couldn't memorize it, they break it down to just four legs good, two legs bad. And the sheep love to repeat this.

[00:06:38]So anytime there's tension, anytime there's disagreements, the sheep are just in chorus going four legs good, two legs bad. They just mindlessly repeat [music] this. So they they start establishing meetings on Sundays to discuss and vote on policy. The pigs of course step up cuz they can read and write. They're considered the cleverest.

[00:06:58]They were already front sitting front and center when old major was giving his speech. So already it was compromised from the beginning. The pigs were always going to seize power. But the difference between Napoleon and Snowball is Snowball actually wants to help the farm. He's actually very concerned with helping people. Snowball reads a lot of books. He's he's kind of their engineer, I guess. Meanwhile, Napoleon's just a petty little [ __ ] who just wants power.

[00:07:21]Their first order of business is we need we need to harvest the hay so we'll have enough food. They all agree to this plan. However, they notice that the cows haven't been milked. And if the cows aren't milked, well, they're going to be in a lot of pain. So, the pigs milk the cows and everyone's like, "Well, what are we going to do with the milk?" And the pigs go, "Don't worry about that.

[00:07:38]We'll take care of it. Everybody go harvest the hay." And by the time they all get back, the milk is just gone. The pigs got it covered, guys. The pigs got the pigs got it covered. During this time, while they're still establishing their communist utopia, and things are still good. The dogs have puppies, and Napoleon says, "I'm going to take your puppies and I'm going to educate them privately myself. I'm doing this great thing for you." And he keeps them up in the loft in the barn where no one else can reach them. and remember that for later. Most of the other animals forget the puppies exist. In the spring, the apple orchid starts to ripen and there's a lot of windfall apples. You know, apples that just fall on the ground. The pigs start saying, "Well, we need the windfall apples." And then when the apples are completely in season, the pigs go, "Actually, we want all the apples." And when they're asked about it, this little [ __ ] comes in.

[00:08:23]Squealer. Squealer. So, Squealer is a complete suckup to Napoleon. He is their propagandist. So the other animals say, "How come all the pigs have all the milk and apples?" The squealer comes out and says, "Oh well, many of us dislike milk and apples, me included, but we need them for our big brains. It's scientifically proven, comrades." Dead ass says it's scientifically proven. I was laughing my ass off. It's like the more things change, the more they say the same. This was written in the [ __ ] 40s. So already it begins. And this is why communism always fails. So Squealer IS GOING TO BE A little [ __ ] who's going to propagandize for the pigs from now on. He is he is a little rat bastard and I hate him. Oh yeah, and the other thing I forgot to mention this. They keep they keep using this line. Do you know what would happen if the pigs failed at all duty? Jones would come back. Yes, Jones would come back. Surely, comrades, would you like to see Jones come back? So basically, they're saying, "Oh, you want to complain? Well, do you want to go back to the drunk farmer who didn't feed you?

[00:09:28]We're doing this for your sake, everybody. And of course, the pigs don't do any work on the farm. They supervise.

[00:09:37]They're always there supervising, watching everyone else. In the fall, Jones returns with some other farmers and they're like, "We're going to we're going to we're going to take the farm back. We're going to beat up these animals and take the farm back." And the animals say, "Fuck no." So, and Snowball is leading the charge in the battle. and even gets hurt. But they drive the humans off again. I don't know if it was the attack or the next attack that Boxer is afraid he might have killed like a farm hand, like a young farm hand, and he's really sad about. And they're telling him, "Boxer, the only good human is a dead human." He's like, "Well, I don't want to kill anybody." Boxer is a little slow, but he's he's a good old workingass lad, and he's the he's the strongest horse on the farm. They need him for all of the physical work. So, as they keep having their Sunday meetings, Snowball begins plans to make a windmill because he's like, "Okay, what we could really use is electricity. If we had electricity, we could have heat lamps in every stall and the work would be easier and I could promise you a 3-day work week." And they're all like, "Hooray."

[00:10:38]And so, he's trying to get them to vote for the windmill. And Napoleon at every single meeting is just stonewalling him and saying, "No, that's stupid. That's rubbish. That'll never work." They they argue at every single meeting. and but it's almost like Napoleon is stalling for some reason. Finally, once Snowball has finished his windmill plans and all the animals are about to vote on it. All of a sudden, Napoleon rolls up with some very mean dogs. These are the puppies he had taken, and he sicks them on Snowball, and they chase Snowball off the farm. Snowball's gone. Thereafter, he is constantly flanked by nine dogs he raised himself to be his literal attack dogs. So now Napoleon is ruling with an iron fist. Everyone is too afraid to say anything cuz when they try to the dogs growl at them. So even other pigs are trying to speak up. But no no no is his secret police will growl at you. During this time uh they dig up old major's skull and put it on display next to their flag. So, they literally desecrate the grave of the guy who gave them this idea and just put his skull up for decoration. And three weeks later, Napoleon says, "Hey, we're going to build that windmill, actually." And in fact, it was my idea. Uh, Snowball stole the ideas from me. And guess what?

[00:11:54]Snowball was in league with Jones.

[00:11:58]From here on, anything bad that's happened is blamed on Snowball.

[00:12:02]Snowball's probably dead. But they'll say, "Oh, Snowball did this. Snowball must have like sold himself to that farmer. Snowball is causing every single bad thing that happens on the farm. It's all Snowball. It It's very similar to 1984 in that way where it's always the agents of Goldstein causing all the trouble. But the windmill building goes poorly and it collapses during a storm.

[00:12:24]So, they need to rebuild it. They're constantly trying to rebuild this [ __ ] windmill. Like the entire book, they're having to pull rocks up from the quarry and only Boxer is strong enough to pull them. He's a workhorse. He's constantly working hard and his motto is I will work hard for Animal Farm. He just true blue believes in the authority. Believes the authority has his best interests in mind and he's going to get [ __ ] more than anybody.

[00:12:49]Unfortunately, how they were going to get the stuff to make electricity in it, nobody knows. Snowball didn't even know.

[00:12:55]But Snowball wasn't a duplicitous pig.

[00:12:57]He actually wanted to help society. See, this is the thing that adaptations don't tend to get. Not all the pigs are evil cuz they need more supplies after this this setback with the windmill. Uh Napoleon announces that they're going to start trading with a human, this guy named Wimple. And he's like, "So, we've promised them 400 eggs a week. So for you hens, that's your sacrifice toward the windmill cuz we got to rebuild that windmill. The windmill is the most important thing. The hens don't like this and rebel." So Napoleon rescends their food rations and says, "Anyone caught feeding a chicken will be sentenced to death." During this protest, nine hens died. The rest gave up and decided to comply. So after that, Napoleon suspends the Sunday votes on policy for the farm. Says they're unneeded. Instead, he is establishing a private committee of pigs to decide on all farm policy. And every time a pig breaks one of the commandments, they revise them. The pigs start moving into the farmhouse and they start sleeping in the beds. And so the first law changed where it says no animals will sleep in a bed, it's changed to no animals will sleep in a bed with sheets. The thing is the only two animals besides the pigs who can read are Muriel the goat and Benjamin the donkey. So anytime an animal was like, I seem to remember that the rule was different. Can you can you read to me what that says on our wall of rules? And the goat will go, oh, it says with sheets. I guess we missed that part and forgot about it. So, the animals are gas lit a lot. G. Yeah, exactly. It reminds you how Stalin took power when Lennon died. It's that's that's the allegory. Yes. I haven't brought them up yet. We have the Hoof Bros. Clover the horse, Boxer the Horse, and uh Ben the donkey. Her bit of a trio in the book.

[00:14:34]There's a fourth horse named Molly. Now, Molly, as soon as the revolution happened, she's like, "Will there be sugar after the revolution? Will I still be able to wear ribbons in my hair?" And they're saying, "No, no, Molly. There won't be [ __ ] sugar. We can't make it." So eventually Molly ends up giving herself over to a human who puts ribbons in her hair and feeds her sugar cuz she's like, "I'm [ __ ] this. I'm out. I'm out. I'm not getting what I want out of this." At this point, Napoleon starts drawing false confessions out of animals. The the windmill when it fell down, that was Snowball. He starts rewriting history. You know how Snowball led the charge against the second attack by the humans? Well, now it's actually Snowball was helping Jones. He was a secret agent for Jones. And in fact, he was in league with the humans before we even thought of the rebellion. And everything that goes wrong on the farm, it's Snowball sneaking back here and ruining things. Hate him, everybody.

[00:15:27]Meanwhile, again, Snowball is long [ __ ] gone. He gets a bunch of uh I think it's sheep to confess that they're in league with Snowball and the dogs kill him. Then he gets some chickens and geese to admit they were in league with Snowball and the dogs kill him. Again, this is [ __ ] It's false confessions. It doesn't really explain how or why he gets them to say this, but he does. And the dogs kill them. And then they're remembering, "Wasn't there a law against animals killing other animals?" And sure enough, they look up at the wall and it says, "No animal shall kill another animal without reason." Oh, I guess we must have missed that when the rules were established, huh? So, after that, Napoleon starts playing. We've always been at war with her Eurasia with the two farms that neighbor the animal farm. There's two farmers, Frederick and Pilkington, and they both want supplies from the farm with them. So, they have this whole big thing of timber. Napoleon goes back and forth. No, Pilington is the enemy.

[00:16:22]No, Frederick is the enemy. Oh, Snowball's working with Frederick. Oh, Snowball's working with Pinkington.

[00:16:28]Finally, he sells the wood to Frederick after after messing with these two guys.

[00:16:32]However, Frederick [ __ ] them over and gives them fake money. This is the first time they've traded for money in the book, which is going to be important when we talk about the movie. So Frederick and the other farmers come back and raid the farm again. It does not go as well for the animals this time. They still win, but two of the men plant explosives in the windmill and destroy it again. Second [ __ ] time the windmill has been destroyed.

[00:16:57]Everyone's injured after this one.

[00:16:58]Everyone's increasingly weak because they keep lowering their food rations.

[00:17:02]The pigs keep saying, "Oh, you have to sacrifice and have lower food rations, but after the windmill is built, everything will be great." Maybe on holidays we'll give you an apple or a carrot and but the pigs we we need all these apples and milk and we need to live in the house and we need to we need to be among ourselves and our in our special committee. Boxer at this point is getting on in years. He's almost 12.

[00:17:23]He's close to retirement age cuz when they first laid down animalism, they agreed on different retirement ages for each breed of animal. So Boxer's like, "Oh, I'm going to I'm going to have to retire soon. I'm not as strong as I used to be, but I want to make sure I pull enough rock for this third windmill. So, after I retire, everyone will have enough to build without me. And I can I can retire and and graze in the pasture.

[00:17:46]And maybe maybe they'll let Benjamin retire with me and we can hang out together. Him and Benjamin are like best friends. Uh they they just hang out in the field together, not talking. Very very Englishman friendship. Boxer is working hard. He's hiding how much pain he's in. He's hauling rocks so everyone can build the windmill after him. But then one day collapses from exhaustion.

[00:18:08]So I guess I'll just lay him down on the ground here. So he he collapses from exhaustion and his friends are like, "Holy shit." They go to tell the pigs, "Boxers hurt. Boxers hurt." And Napoleon announces, "Don't worry." Well, he sends Squealer to tell them cuz Napoleon is increasingly not seen in public. He stays in the house most of the time.

[00:18:24]Sends Squeal over and Squealer says, "Oh, don't worry. Napoleon has arranged for an ambulance to take Boxer to a veterinary hospital where he can be cured. And uh they're all a little nervous about this, like, oh, sending him off the farm with humans. We don't really trust humans, but okay. You know, if Napoleon says we're going to do the the cart comes and puts Boxer in, it's only Benjamin who notices cuz he can read that the carriage says it's going to the glue factory. and him and Clover, they chase after the the cart, screaming at Boxer, "Get out of the cart. Get out of the cart. They're taking you to your death." And Boxer, he's he's weak at this point. He's kicking inside the the the carriage, but he can't break it open like he would have been able to in his younger days. And then he's carted away to the glue factory, and he's never seen again. And yeah, so he he worked hard.

[00:19:15]He had his labor exploited for years by the pigs. And when he's injured and at retirement age, they send him off to be glue. That scene is harrowing in the 1954 ones. They don't there's no Clover in the 54 version, but you do have Benjamin. He's like his donkey screaming as as his friend is carted away. It's awful.

[00:19:43]And then later there's a cherry on top.

[00:19:47][ __ ] squealer comes by and says, "Oh, I was there." At his deathbed, he died peacefully in the veterinary hospital.

[00:19:57]And I heard his last words. He told everybody to believe in Napoleon and to work hard for Animal Farm. So, he's a hero. Yay.

[00:20:07]These [ __ ] pigs, man. And I forgot to mention earlier, damn it. When Napoleon was was drawing confessions out of animals and killing them, four of those animals were pigs. The same four young pigs that tried to speak up when he ousted Snowball. He just found a reason to have the dogs kill him. Even even other pigs were like, "Hey, um, we should be like following what we set up here. They get killed, too." And it's just the bastard pigs left. So years later, Clover and Benjamin are the only like some of the only animals on the farm. Maybe the only ones left who remember the old days, who remember the rebellion. The new generation, they don't know anything any different. There was a new generation of pigs born. They were all pie baldled, it turns out. So, they were all Napoleon's kids, [laughter] and they were going to be specially educated to read and write right away. Benjamin's is even more cynical and depressed now that Boxer's gone. And Clover's upset as um Muriel's gone, one of the only other animals that could read. A lot of other animals have died of old age over the years. And Clover is looking up at the the commandments on the barn, and she's like, "I thought there used to be more."

[00:21:14]Benjamin, can can you read that to me? I mean, Benjamin would usually refuse to read things to people even though he can read. He'd just cryptically say, "Donkeys live a long time." But he he gives this to her. And now all the seven commandments have been erased. And all it says on the barn now is, "All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others." So the animals are downtrodden.

[00:21:35]They're worse off than before. And the pigs invite the local farmers over to come play cards. And the farmers are praising the pigs that they're getting so much more work out of these animals with less food. It's amazing. They want to implement it on their farms, too. And as they're watching them through the windows, the the humans and the pigs start arguing over the card game. And of course, the final line of the book, which is pretty famous, but they had not gone 20 yards when they stopped short.

[00:22:01]An uproar of voices coming from the farmhouse. They rushed back and looked through the window again. Yes, a violent quarrel was in progress. There were shoutings, bangings on the table, sharp, suspicious glances, furious denials. The source of the trouble appeared to be that Napoleon and Mr. Pilkington had each played an Ace of Spades simultaneously. 12 voices were shouting in anger, and they were all alike. No question now what had happened to the faces of the pigs. The creatures outside looked from pig to man and from man to pig, from pig to man again, but already it was impossible to say which was which. And that's where it ends. Ends very bleakly. And again, to me, the lesson is this is what communism gets you. So, yes, let's talk about the [ __ ] movie. Now, here you go. Here's here's my biggest condemnation I could give you of this movie.

[00:22:52][music] >> She gave it to me on credit, which means all you give them is this little tiny card, AND THEY GIVE YOU CARS. SO, this Angel Studios, they seemingly came out of nowhere. Angel Studios is a Mormon film studio. Uh, they almost went bankrupt at one time and they came back by kickstarting and they've been kind of getting up there with their movies and becoming more mainstream. And apparently Circus wanted to make a serious animated movie based on it, but this is where we ended up. Well, first of all, there's no old major in the movie. There is a new pig played by Gaton, what's his face?

[00:23:31]the curlyhaired kid with no teeth from Stranger Things. That guy. The thing with Animal Farm is there isn't really a main character. That's why in the 1954 version, it's just kind of a omnipotent narrator telling you the events as they happen. And in the 99 movie, they took Jesse the dog and made her a main character. She's just a dog that's mentioned a few times and gives birth to puppies, but they made her basically the main character in the 99 film. So, I could see the need for having a a main character, but there's no old major at the beginning of the movie. There's just Lucky the Pig. This is a madeup character. And it's so and they can't decide if he's the narrator or if Boxer is the narrator. They switch a lot. So, we have Lucky the Pig and it's he's him and Snowball start the movie knowing how to read and write already. Snowball taught him how to read and write, I guess, so they can do their opening [ __ ] joke, which was actually is right in the trailer.

[00:24:28]>> What does that say?

[00:24:29]>> Laughter house.

[00:24:30]>> THAT SOUNDS AWESOME. I LOVE to laugh.

[00:24:33][laughter] >> It's a slaughter house.

[00:24:37]>> Oh, no. Boxer still gets [ __ ] over, but it's it's like weak sauce. He doesn't live in the film, but he still does the ending narration. Don't ask me.

[00:24:45]It's almost like this thing went through a lot of recuts and rewrites or something. I think we need to have a rule where if you're going to adapt a work like this, don't have Seth [ __ ] Rogan in it.

[00:24:53]>> I I do have this lovely image of Seth Rogan cut in half from the boys. So enjoy Seth Rogan cut in [ __ ] half.

[00:25:03]>> This is basically the opening scene.

[00:25:04]>> What's up?

[00:25:05]>> We are going on vacation.

[00:25:08]>> I do hope it's somewhere good.

[00:25:10]>> What does that say?

[00:25:11]>> Laughter house.

[00:25:12]>> That's basically the opening scene of the movie. I guess the bank the bank has foreclosed on the farm because Farmer Jones is a drunk. It all happened so fast. All of them are about to be clotted off to the slaughter house.

[00:25:25]Every single one of them. Like they're not even selling they're not even selling them off to other farms and just sending them all every all the sheep, cows, chickens. Every single one to the slaughter house. Makes no sense.

[00:25:36]>> Look at all this deliciousness. THEY WANT THIS.

[00:25:39]>> As that's what made me buy the book. Uh that pissed me off so much. Do you want to be food or do you want freedom?

[00:25:47]>> Yeah. So, while they're in the slaughterhouse truck, Snow I didn't even realize this was supposed to be Snowball at first. While they're in the slaughter truck, Leverne Cox Pig here gives a very abridged version of Major Speech saying, "They take your eggs. They make us work.

[00:26:03]We should be free." The guy foreclosing on them from the bank is Wimple, who is the guy who was the broker trading with them in the book. So they just took a name and said, "Oh, the bank is foreclosing on the farm and all the animals are going to the slaughter house. It's like babe 2 pig in the city or something." It happens so quick and then they just chase all the humans away easily with no struggle at all. You just see it right here. This is basically what happens.

[00:26:33]The only difference is in the movie they have freeze frame panels telling you who the characters are and who they're played by. And there's some terrible rap song happening in the background that goes, "Odickick [music] by brick, we break down the farm."

[00:26:55]>> It's like a DreamWorks movie in their worst era, you know, like in the in the Shark Tale era. And it just hits all the beats of a bad children's film. Lucky has a crush on on one of the girl pigs who's a madeup character in the movie.

[00:27:08]There's two girl pigs named Puff and Tammy. I think they were. He has a He has a crush on Puff and it's They barely spend any time on it. I'm not even going to draw her. So, basically, Puff is the good one because she follows the rules.

[00:27:23]And then this girl is a vain [ __ ] That's their whole character. She's the love interest and she's a vain [ __ ] She's kind of like Molly, I guess, except she stays on the farm and becomes Seth Rogan's girlfriend. So, it's it's actually Snowball who let who lays down the laws of Animal Farm. And they add one. They add any animal who breaks all the rules has to leave Animal Farm. That wasn't in the book, but they use that for the ending. And they and they and they flatten it even more than the seven commandments were already flattened from old major's instructions. Like, without irony. So, here's the first big departure from the book. Wimple shows back up, tells them, "Uh, you guys need to make money to pay the bank." So, they [ __ ] have a farmers market and just invite a bunch of humans in, which is something they would never do in the [ __ ] book. So, and all THE HUMANS LIKE, "WOW, this is so cool. A farm run by animals."

[00:28:22]So, like, nobody cares. And they just make a whole bucket of of cash money.

[00:28:26]Everyone's paying in cash even though it's the far future apparently. And then look, look, look at this. This is in THIS MOVIE.

[00:28:35]WHAT THE [ __ ] IS THIS? So instead of having Pilington and Frederick, we just have Freda Pilkington, who is some big business mogul of some description, instead of like the men who are behind everything in the books. Of course, we need to have everybody's favorite scapegoat, a white woman. She wants the farm for just because it's the last plot of land around here that I don't own.

[00:29:00]They pan out from the the quaint little farm to show like her giant tesseract of a building like just nearby. So anyway, so yeah, it stars it stars Lucky the [ __ ] pig and he has been taught to read and write by Snowball and Snowball and Napoleon have a similar dynamic as they do in the uh in the book sort of. Only thing is with Snowball. At one point, her and and Lucky go into the farmhouse to read a book on how to build a water wheel. They don't build a windmill. They build a waterhe. That's different. And as they're doing this, Snowball's like, "Oh, Lucky, we don't have to tell the other animals about this. They they just wouldn't understand. Let's keep it between the two of us." And it's like, the [ __ ] Snowball was never like this. Snowball sincerely wanted to help the farm.

[00:29:56]Snowball was not duplicitous. But you turn Snowball into a woman and suddenly Snowball is actually treacherous. But Napoleon's spying the whole time. And then and then he calls a meeting. They don't have their regular Sunday meetings. He just calls one. So yeah, Snowball's like, "No, we don't have to tell everybody else. Let's let's just keep this between you, me, and Boxer, and we can build a water wheel for electricity." And then Napoleon calls a meeting. And at the meeting, she just basically tells everybody her plans for the windmill anyway. But then Napoleon goes, "Huh, wouldn't it be funny if you were breaking the rules? Like you were in the house." And Ly's like, "She she wasn't breaking the rules. She just wanted to get a book." He's like, "Oh, you knew cuz you were there, huh?" And he's like, "Uh oh." uh. He's like, "Oh, just kidding, guys. Just kidding. Just kidding." But then immediately after that in the in the movie, Snowball was like, "After we've harvest the grain, let's put half of it in the grainery for the winter." And she got all the animals to vote for it. He he kind of he kind of pushes Snowball out of the barn and says, "Hey, why Snowball hoarding all this grain? We should eat it cuz we want to." And the animals just start agreeing with him instead. And then he goes, "Snowball should go on a vacation and just has the dogs lead her off the farm." And that's it. That that that's literally it. So Snowball is supposed dramatically. He just says he found the dogs by themselves and took care of them. There's like a couple of adult dogs and some puppies. It isn't like how he raised the puppies himself to be his attack dogs. They just kind of do what he says because there's really no good reason. And the dogs aren't even in the movie much. And instead of like blaming Snowball for all the misfortune on the farm, they just go, "Oh, she was so bossy. She was always trying to tell us what to do." Oh, yeah. And before that, it really makes the animals turn against her. Hang on, let me let me bring Snowball back. Snowball, come back. I I forgot a plot point. Snowball, here we go. So, he's he's telling all the animals, "Why should Why shouldn't we just eat the grain now? Why is she hoarding it all?" And she just she just exclaims all the other animals are too stupid to understand. She goes, "You're all so stupid." And he's like, "Oh. Oh, you see how she really feels about you guys?" It's like Snowball in the book would never [ __ ] do that. Then and then she's just skirted off by the dogs.

[00:32:15]The snowballs no more. And again, all they ever say is Snowball was always just trying to tell us what to do. And again, there's no old major for them all to have gathered around and gotten this idea from. So it's just like, "Oh, Snowball thought that." The snowball was wrong. It's just really weak.

[00:32:30]>> I just got to ask why. What was the point of this?

[00:32:33]>> That's what you'll think watching it.

[00:32:35]Just what was the point of even making this? Why did you do this? Things things escalate quickly from there. They they they give their money to the banker guy to Wimpy the banker guy. And he can't believe they made money. He's like, "Well, the pigs are paying, so [ __ ] it.

[00:32:50]I'll go along with this." And evil Elon Musk's mom is like, "Gr, I I want that land." The pigs go, "Oh, hey, we have a whole bunch of excess money. What should we do with this excess money?" They go shopping. They literally go to Pilington's like big mall or something.

[00:33:08]They buy a bunch of TVs and iPhones and clothes and stuff. It's extremely cringe. But while they're there, all the humans start laughing at Seth Rogan Pig.

[00:33:17]Uh like, "Oh, look at him. A pig who thinks he's a person. Haha. Isn't that funny?" And that hurts his little ego.

[00:33:23]So when they go home and they're in the farmhouse, he says to the other pigs, "We got to start walking on two legs or they're going to laugh at us." It wasn't It was toward the end of the book that I forgot to show this picture earlier.

[00:33:35]It's toward the end of the book that Napoleon and the other pigs started wearing clothes and walking on their hind legs and they just started doing it suddenly. Like Clover spots Napoleon and Boxer was dead by now. How did you get down there, Ben? Oh, you're on the same lay layer as this guy. That's why.

[00:33:49]Whoops. [laughter] Clover. Clover just starts winnieing and freaking out cuz the pigs are walking around the farm on two legs and soon after they start wearing clothes. But in this movie, they start dressing like LA hipsters. So yeah, so they start walking on two legs and and wearing clothes and living like humans and using iPhones.

[00:34:08]There's a lot of phone bad. There's a lot of phone bad in this movie. They do build the water wheel. Napoleon, of course, thinks it's his idea. Uh, and then for whatever reason that impresses the the [ __ ] Freda Pinkleton lady. So the pigs are partying in the farmhouse.

[00:34:25]They have electricity now and they use it all on like on like mood lighting and having parties and using their iPhones and watching TV and and Lucky is kind of getting drawn into this by Napoleon. And at one point like Puff, his love interest, takes off her clothes and walks on all fours again and and and says, "I'm going back to the rest of the farm. you look what we've become. And he's like, "But but but but." And that's about the end of that conversation.

[00:34:50]Meanwhile, the animals are outside screaming that they're they're hungry and they don't have any food. So, it wasn't in the movie, it wasn't just that they're getting lower rations than the pigs. It's the pigs aren't feeding them at all. And as the animals are complaining they have no food, one of um Rich [ __ ] I should draw her, too, actually. So, [music] she she she's decid she decides like it's got to be good marketing to to make a deal with the pigs. I don't I don't know why she comes to this conclusion, [laughter] but maybe we should have clothes Napoleon up here.

[00:35:20]Even though it's old timey clothes, I don't care. I like I like I forgot to use my little [music] clothing Napoleon earlier. So Napoleon [laughter and gasps] Napoleon is starting to make deals with Elon Musk's mom, Freda Pinkleton. And again, she is a combination of the two farmers that flanked Animal Farm in the book. So she's like, "Oh, think of the marketing.

[00:35:39]Think of the optics working together with talking pigs." her proposal to him.

[00:35:43]They built the water wheel. It's working. It gives them power. The pigs mostly use it to power the house. She goes, "Hey, Napole, get out of here, Lucky. You're not even in the conversation, Napoleon. Yo, Napoleon, I have an idea. How about you let me build a big high-tech dam on your land, and I will give all the animals on the farm free food forever." And he's like, "Awesome. Let's do that." So, after they make this deal, uh, they blow up the water wheel. This is a tiny little brook they built the water wheel on. And she's saying, "Hey, Napoleon, if you let me build this dam, I can have electricity.

[00:36:19]All the electricity I need for like ever. How the [ __ ] is this much water going to generate you [ __ ] electricity for like your big tesseract high-tech [ __ ] you know? It doesn't even make any sense." And they build a massive dam there. This is This is the dam they're projecting video on to at the end of the movie. Like he's like, "Yeah, but we don't need the animals on Animal Farm anymore." So, after we finish this deal for the dam, we're just going to sell them all. We don't need animals on a farm on it on this animal farm. Who's going to grow your [ __ ] crops, [ __ ] I guess they're going to be generating money just from the dam, I guess, is is is the logic here. Yeah. At the end of the movie, Napoleon, they're they they've erected this giant dam.

[00:36:59]This is what he's standing in front of here. And he's talking to a crowd of humans. It's all these same faceless guys and helmets that work for Pinkleton. And so he's not even addressing the animals. He's addressing a crowd of humans here when they project all animals are equal, but some are more equal than others on the dam. And so the animals plan from there, all all the all the normal farm animals, they sneak into this event somehow. They somehow evade all of the guard dogs and they somehow like hack the broadcast. You know, all these [ __ ] chickens and sheep and [ __ ] They somehow hack the broadcast on the dam and just show a bunch of embarrassing footage of Napoleon that makes all the humans laugh at him because he hates being laughed at. Guys, they piled all the fireworks he was going to set off into a particular area that blows up the dam somehow. Oh, and I forgot to mention uh what happens to Boxer, right? So, what happens to Boxer in here? Like, she's bringing in all these like cyber truck back hoes and one of them falls over. like these trucks just come in and this one tilts and this guy gets trapped.

[00:38:11]Boxer immediately goes to save. So Boxer saves this human uh from being crushed by the cyber truck backhoe here and he collapses after helping pull it off the guy. And immediately a helicopter comes to airlift him from evil lady's business.

[00:38:28]And only Lucky notices it says like Lou Lou whatever on on the helicopter. Lucky runs into the room and says there's been some kind of mistake. Boxer got sent to the glue factor. He was supposed to be going to a hospital and they're like, "Yeah, it's too late. He's already glue." Yeah, he's already glue. You could say he was the glue that held us all together. [laughter] And then they just all laugh at sending this this horse to his death. And that's when Lucky realizes, "Oh my god, they're all assholes." So this is when we get the line Lucky looked between the two of them and he couldn't tell the difference between the humans and the pigs anymore.

[00:39:01]So then he runs off and he goes and sees his girlfriend who I haven't drawn. He goes and sees all the other animals except Boxer. Box Boxer's dead. Uh and and Clover doesn't exist in the movie.

[00:39:10]So I guess it's just Benjamin here. So he goes to Benjamin and THE OTHER SAYS, "GUYS, I was a real asshole." They're like, "You were a real [ __ ] I was a real [ __ ] What are we going to do about it?" He's like, "Well, I HAVE THE POWER of friendship."

[00:39:24]He basically says, "I have my FRIENDS AND WE'LL FIGHT FOR FREEDOM."

[00:39:28][screaming] And that's when they enact their plan to uh embarrass Napoleon at the dam and then the dam breaks. So, at the end of the movie, the dam breaks and the entire farm floods. It floods for miles around.

[00:39:45]Damning this up for like A DAY WAS ENOUGH TO FLOOD LIKE THE ENTIRE area for like five miles. Elon Musk's mom and Napoleon try to get away in a car and everyone just ends up in the water and Ly's like, "I still need to go talk to Napoleon and tell him he broke the rules and he has to leave Animal Farm." A call back to the rule they made up at the beginning of the movie. Cuz he's definitely going to listen to you now.

[00:40:12]like you need to leave, mister. You've caused all sorts of trouble. These two end up on the grain silo where the the rules are written on that's floating in the water and they're arguing with each other and HE'S LIKE, "I SAW YOU AS A SON." He's like, "No, you did it." And then they fight. The grain silo ends up getting turned and starts sinking and Napoleon gets stuck under the sinking grain silo and just sinks into the water and dies. The whole farm is flooded. It comes back to Lucky telling the story of everything that just happened in the immediate aftermath. So, we start the movie with him saying, "There once was a pig named Lucky who had a big dream and wished on a star for freedom." Or maybe that was Boxer's narration. I don't know. But then it's Lucky telling the story by this point. And he's telling everybody the story of everything they just went through. And it just ends with it would sure be hard to make their new dream come true, but the lesson is everyone doesn't always know what's right and you should work hard for your friends. That that's the conclusion they come to. It's like, well, Snowball wasn't right either. You can't rely on someone just being correct. You have to think for yourself and just be free. And real freedom is working hard to support your friends and the people you love.

[00:41:28]Your whole farm is flooded. You're all going to starve to death.

[00:41:33][sighs] [gasps] So there you go. That's that's the [ __ ] movie I just watched.

[00:41:39]>> S reading Animal Farm is like when when read Blood Meridian or when Gilbert got afraid read 50 Shades of Gray.

[00:41:46]>> I don't know if that's a compliment or not.