Where to meet lesbians (it's not where you think!)

Added: 2026-05-05

[00:00:00]Where the hell are all the lesbians? No, seriously. Are they hiding underground somewhere? Are they on a remote island?

[00:00:06]Do they only come out at night like bats? Because meeting even one single emotionally available woman.

[00:00:15]Honestly, solving the mystery of what happened to Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 would be easier.

[00:00:19]>> It seems to have vanished into cement.

[00:00:21]>> And it's not because you're doing anything wrong, per se. It's just that as queer women, we are dating inside a much smaller pool. So, in this video, I'm going to share the surprising places you can meet women loving women that you're probably overlooking, as well as my tried and tested trick for feeling more confident to talk to other gay girlies. Here's a really scary stat. In the 1980s, there were more than 200 lesbian bars in the US. By 2020, there were less than 20.

[00:00:55]So, if you've bought into the myth that you need to go to a queer bar to meet fellow gay girlies, you're almost fresh out of luck, babe. But here's the good news. Queer women are actually everywhere. You're almost certainly already crossing paths with them in your everyday life without even realizing it.

[00:01:11]They're just not necessarily wearing a giant rainbow flag and holding up a sign that says, "I'm gay. Talk to me.

[00:01:19]>> I'm gay."

[00:01:21]Now, here's some tough love from your lesbian big sis because I want you to stop feeling so alone. And also, babe, your ain't going to eat itself, okay?

[00:01:29]>> Meeting other queer women isn't about finding some perfect mystical location where all the lesbians are secretly hiding out.

[00:01:37]>> Put me in the cage with the other lesbians.

[00:01:40]>> It's about taking initiative, and that means actually talking to women. Queer women aren't just in lesbian bars.

[00:01:48]They're in your gym, your workplace, your local cafe, your Pilates class, your dog park. You just haven't interacted with them yet. So, just start where you are. Strike up a conversation with the barista who's always overly complimentary or the girl at your gym with the edgy haircut and the septum piercing. Not everyone is gay, but you're not going to find out without striking up conversations. And no, you don't have to come out and straight up ask her if she's for the girls. You can drop other hints to let her know that you are for the girls and see how she responds. Like tell her you've been listening to girl in red all day. Drop the words my ex-girlfriend in conversation. Or subtly reference the fact that you're gay in a joke.

[00:02:29]Something like I feel like I'm the only gay in the village around here. If she's queer too, this will quickly clarify it.

[00:02:36]Now, if you're watching this thinking, "Wow, straight women have it so easy.

[00:02:40]They don't have to drop coded signals or scout locations that their potential love interests might be in. They can basically just throw a stone and hit 10 straight men. No, really, straight women, throw a stone, hit 10 straight men. But finding single, emotionally available lesbians who are actually your type. That is an activity not for the faint-hearted. And having to put so much time and effort into just actually connecting with one queer woman can be really defeating sometimes. I get a girl. I have been there. Which is exactly why I created my upcoming retreat lesbian love lab. Instead of it taking weeks, months, or even years to connect with another queer hottie who's down to be flirty with you, you are placed in a room with 50 hot single lesbians who are all there to find someone. There's no decoding signals, no trying to work out whether she's into you or she's just being nice, and no talking for weeks only to discover that she has a whole ass boyfriend. Over a weekend in Toronto, you'll attend workshops on queer flirting, sex, and dating. Join structured speed dating sessions and meet not just one or two lesbians that you're into, but dozens.

[00:03:53]And there'll be a sexy cocktail night with yours truly, which is designed for maximum flirting. Because this event is limited to serious candidates, it is by application only, and applications are opening next week. And let me tell you, the wait list is already filling up.

[00:04:10]Lesbians really want and need this. So, if you want to make sure that you don't miss out on your chance to apply, tap the link below this video to join the wait list. Now, this is the step where most queer women get stuck. And I'm going to say something that might sting a little bit, but it's true. You actually have to leave your house in order to meet other lesbians. I know, shocking, but a lot of queer women are just sitting at home waiting for their future wife to magically knock on the door, like some kind of lesbian Amazon delivery. And unfortunately, as convenient as that would be, that's just not how this works. There are absolutely queer women in your everyday spaces, but if you really want to maximize your chances of meeting other safics, you have to start putting yourself in queer spaces as well. And you can find these things easily by just doing a quick Google search or looking on sites like Eventbrite, Meetup or Facebook. And this is actually exactly how my own queer journey started. I joined a local queer meetup group. And at first I was very nervous, but I kept showing up and I made connections. And one of the connections that I made through that group actually ended up introducing me to a girl that I ended up seeing. And I get it. Walking into a room where you don't know anyone can feel extremely intimidating, especially when you're newly out. But here's a simple hack.

[00:05:29]Take a straight friend with you as a wing woman. Sometimes just having one familiar person beside you is enough to give you the confidence to walk into the room. Besides the obvious places, there's also bookstores. Now, this might not initially come to mind as a location to meet some queer hotties, but let me tell you, bookstores are teeming with gay girlies. The same can be said for hardware stores. There is a masked lesbian in at least one of the aisles of your local hardware store right now. The great thing about meeting women in stores is that they create natural conversation starters. So, if she's looking at a particular book in a bookstore, you could ask her if she's read it before or if she'd recommend it.

[00:06:09]In a hardware store, you can pretend to be lost and ask her which a screws are in, you know, cuz you just you just really need one good screw.

[00:06:19]Sorry, guys. I do love me some good dad joke humor. Now, here's the truth.

[00:06:24]Meeting lesbians, that's just step one.

[00:06:26]You can put yourself out there in the right places, start conversations, build friendships, and even get invited on dates. But if you don't know how to create attraction once you're face to face with a woman, if you tend to end up in that zone where it constantly feels like a friend hang, nothing ever happens. So, in the next video, I'm going to show you how to gay girl flirt because spoiler alert, regular flirting does not work in the safic world. Gay girl flirting will help you to make it abundantly clear that you're not just being complimentary or looking for another friend. And it will help you to do it without feeling awkward or worrying that you're coming across creepy. It's on the screen now, so tap it to go and watch it. and I'll see you over there.